1/4
>Day 99 in Equestria
>Wake up in your cheap cabin near the outskirts of P0nyville
>Today's another stupid session with Purple Smart
>You want to skip out, but last time you did, you recieved a death/molest threat from Celestia
>Sigh, get out of your bed, begin morning routine
>Shit, shower, shave
>Put on some "scholarly" clothing
>Magic Horn said she likes it when you show up in that, says it helps her listen more
>Snicker, remembering that you told her Superman was the one who killed Hitler during that session
>Walk down stairs, grab a quick bite of Cheerilee-o's and walk out of your front door
>Make your way to the stupid tree-library
>How the fuck is that even possible
>Is the tree still alive?
>Find yourself at her front door
>It opens before you knock
>It's Purple Smart
>"H-hey, Anon!"
>Spaghetti is flowing from her imaginitive pockets already
>You smell a fruity scent in the air
"Is that... Strawberry?"
>"O-oh, yes. I'm uh, wearing... perfume..."
>You roll your eyes
>She's too goddamn cute
>But she's still a purple marshmellow horse
 
2/4
"Uh, alright. So, shall we get started?"
>She nods, letting you in
>She leads you to the center of the room and you sit down at the comfy couch
>There are several books on the coffee table in front of you
>One of them is titled "50 Shades of Hay"
>Another is "500 Ways To Seduce A Male, No Matter The Species"
>Another by an auther by the name whose initials are F.S. is titled "5000 Ways To Get That Hot Monkey D-"
>"So! We left off on the topic of World War 7 where Commander Shephard, the Chosen Undead, was about to commence his final battle with Alduin and his brother Diablo."
"Yes."
>You really don't want to be there
>Levitating beside her is a note pad, a quill and an ink for when you resume telling her your 100% accurate Human-Earth history
>She comes over and sits right beside you on the couch, her flank rubbing against your hip
"Uh-"
>"A-am I too close?"
>She retreats and shuffles down the couch to a more comfortable distance
>"Is that better?"
"Yeah, I guess?
>She gives you a cheeky smile
"So... when the PS3 finally got some games, Mario and Sanic decided to-"
>You stop
>She's scribbling something on her notepad
>It doesn't look like she's writing words
>She somehow has not noticed that you had stopped talking
>Decide to take a peek at what she's doing on her paper
 
3/4
>"Gaah! Anon!"
>She quickly hides her notes
>"K-keep talking! I'm just, uh, catching up with the writing. You speak fast"
"But I only said, like, 10 words."
>"I'm warming up."
"Right. Anyways-"
>"D-do you want some tea?"
>She levitates a platter out of nowhere, or at least you had not noticed it before
>Two teacups and a pot with some sugar and milk
"Where'd you get that from?"
>"I had it prepared from before you came here. F-fresh tea, not laced with anything. Yep."
>You squint at her
>You decide to play along
>Reluctantly, you move your hand to pick up one of the teacups
>Magic Horn gasps
>"Other one!"
"Other one?"
>"Yes. The one with the-uh, yeah. The other one."
>You squint at her
>Pick up the other teacup
>Before she picks hers up, you point behind her
"THAT BOOK IS IN THE WRONG SECTION!"
>"Aaaah!"
>She gets startled and looks behind her, her eyes scanning the bookshelves as though they were a pool of piranhas
>Quickly switch the teacups
 
4/4
"Oh, sorry, false alarm."
>"False alarm? Oh, Anon, you."
>She gives you a playful smile while collecting herself
>God that's cute
>"I-I hope you enjoy your tea!"
>She quickly levitates "her" teacup to her mouth and gulps it down, her eyes on you the whole time
>She wants you to do the same
>You blink
>She passes out
>Sighing, you pick her up and bring her to her room and place her on her bed
>Do you leave a note?
>Nah, she'll figure it out herself
>Go downstairs
>See her notepad
>Pick it up and look what she was writing
>A heart with the symbols "AN+TS" inside of it
>All of her previous notes are just more doodles
>Goddamn it Twilight, why must she make it hard on you
>Put the note down
>Hesitate for several long moments
>You don't know what to do
>Maybe you'll "talk" to her later
>Leave the library-tree
>Make your way home
>Wonder why she tried to knock you out
>F... Fucking Twilight