"...What?"
>Twilight smiles.
>"I said you were such a good FRIEND."
>...
>Look around, searching for the hidden cameras.
"Why do you keep doing that?"
>"Doing what, FRIEND?"
"Putting so much emphasis on "Friend"?"
>"What do you mean, FRIEND?"
"...You know what, carry on; I have a date tonight anyway."
>"W-what?"
"Yeah, a date. They're this thing where you go out and socialise."
>Ruffle her mane.
"You big dummy."
>"Y-you can't go out! You have to stay with me! You're my FRIEND!"
"Yeah, sure, listen, Applejack doesn't like being kept waiting, so I'll just be going now."
>"No no no, stay here! Please! I need you!"
"Uhh, no. Good bye, Twilight, have fun staying in again this Friday night."
>Leave the library and shut the door behind you.
 
>Twilight whimpers and looks at her notes.
>' Rarity's fabulous methods of getting stallions to love you '
>' a) Put them in the FRIENDZONE. '
>"Th-thanks a lot, Rarity..."
 
>You are Anonymous and you're as pleased as punch.
>A date with Applejack. A date with her!
>You head to the bar where you two decided on and walk in
>You can practically feel the apple plot on your hands
>"Hey Anon! Over here!"
>You see her!...
>And two others?
>Things aren't simple anymore, you think
>There is Applejack but sat opposite her is a tan earth pony with brown mane and sat to the right of her is a bronze earth pony with a tasteful grey mane.
>Opposite her is an empty seat...
"Oh fuck..." You think, putting two and two together and hoping it wasn't four.
"Applejack" you say in a sweet tone, "you never told me this was a double date."
>"Ah'm sorry, Anon, ah shoulda said somethin' but Ah'm not so sure if you turned up."
> "Screw you, Screw you, Screw you, Screw you" bellows through your mind.
>You put on an insincere smile to your date, you hope.
"We haven't meet, I'm Anonymous, you are?"
>She speaks with a charming Southern voice, like Applejack.
>"Charmed to meet you, Anonymous, Ah'm Goldrenette."
>"She's one of mah cousins, Anon, and this is Caramel, a friend ah met in Appleloosa."
>"Friend, my arse" you think, "tonight's gonna be long..."
 
>"Tonight's gonna be long" you think with your snout in a book.
>You are Twilight Sparkle and you have a problem.
>A big one, a huge one, it's mahoosive, it's that big.
>Rarity's tips and tricks were useless on Anon, you know he's that dense, you think in a monologue.
>And now, you've lost him to Applejack. Curse her and her glorious apple plot!
>You can only pray to the Goddesses Above that tonight will be a disaster for the pair of them.
>And you can't play dirty tricks on them, partly because they're friends and you don't wanna ruin their friendships if it goes wrong but mainly because you weren't so good at pranks.
>You tend to over think them, by the time you thought of a good one, it's too late.
>You sigh heavily, you've always like him, since he arrived here.
>You find him when no others did.
>You gave him food and shelter when no others did.
>But the friendship matured into a crush, you felt all giddy around him.
>He never knew. He's a male, you smirk, he's as dense as the rest of them.
>But he never found out about your feelings and now...
>A single tear is shed at the thoughts of might have been...
 
>You think about what you might have been doing tonight and you almost cry.
>Well, sat on your arse reading books or sat on your arse in bar drinking is a lot better than listen to her dribble on and on and on about her family's ranch.
>On the lighter side, Applejack's paying for the evening.
>You are Anonymous and you are also bored.
>"...and what happened at the ranch THIS year ain't nothin' compared to what happened last year..."
>She's pretty, granted, with her sharp blue eyes, but bloody hell, she's as interesting as a party political broadcast.
>"...Ah swear to Celestia above, the cart flew down the hill quicker 'an lightin'..."
>The drinks are helping with the boredom but not by much.
>You glance over to Applejack and hope she's also bored.
>Nope, she's looks pretty entertained by Caramel but him, on the other hand...
>"...we tried to catch tha' cart but it was goin' too fast and poor Ol' Pony Caruthers..."
>He looks distracted and distant. Poor blighter, you'd give anything to swap seats.
>"...after we paid the funeral expenses, we were still luck that ponyfolk still bought from us..."
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Goldie" She liked that nickname, "but I got the call of nature, back in a mo'"
>You step up and leave for the toilets, you just about hear her say "I think he likes me."
>"Heh, there'll be ice water in Hell when you go on a second date with her." You think.
>As you use the obviously too low toilet, you think back to earlier.
>Why was Twilight acting so strange?
 
>She was always a bit odd in the comforts of the Golden Oaks Library.
>Sure, he had her quirks and oddities, you did too, but nothing like that.
>What was she trying to do? Get you friendzoned without even going anywhere?
>You shudder at the thought, you rather have one of your legs missing then that...
>Friendzone notwithstanding and regardless of your stance with her, you'd never thought about you and Twilight. Definitely since that pegasus guard took a fancy to her.
>He's a complete dick but they liked each together so if she could find someone, you can try to dip your wick with other ponies.
>What was she trying to do? That's now gonna bother you for the rest of the evening, you think as you finish up. You clean your hands and walk back to the table. Desert was served.
>Once it was eaten and Goldie read through her entire autobiography, you try to get Applejack's attention with hand gestures
>" 'Cuse me, Caramel, I need to talk to Anon."
>You two walk to the bar, out of sight and sound
"My God, I need to talk to someone."
>"Why, Anon? I thought tha' two of you's get along nicely."
"She just talks about herself, I barely get a word in edgeways."
>"Sure, Goldie does that but still, give her a chance." She looks with her beautiful emerald eyes
>Holy crap, Applejack, you're killing me here!
"Fine, but just one."
>The two of you spin back round to the table to find a shocking sight.
 
>Both Caramel and Goldrenette are kissing each other's faces off. How they weren't spread over the table, they were that intense.
>You were shocked, despite all you said and thought about her, you thought that there might be a chance.
>Of sex, at least!
>Jeez, you need to get laid...
>You digress, if you thought you were annoyed by Goldie's actions, you wish you didn't look at Applejack's face.
>It was somehow a mix of both rage and disappointment. More rage though but...
>Applejack practically stomped over to the table, you joined in suit for the subsequent shouting and inevitable fighting.
>You loved a good bar-brawl.
>"WHAT IN THA' HAY ARE YOU TWO DOIN'?" She declared to the whole bar.
>Caramel and Goldie broke it instantly and he said nervously, "Applejack! This ain't what it looks like, I swear it!"
>"Oh really? It looked like you and Goldie were practisin' tonsil tennis!"
>Wait, do ponies have tonsils?
>Wait, do they even play tennis?
>You scrub the random thoughts as Goldie tries to explain herself, "Ah'm sorry, cousin, Ah swear! Ah just couldn't resist his musk, that's all."
>"And Ah'm sorry Anon, you're a sweet guy but I like Caramel more."
"Well ain't that a kick in the head, thanks for wasting a perfectly good evening."
>"Ah don't why I bother sometimes, Ah'm leavin' and yer payin', yer sons of swines!" Applejack stated as she and you thundered out of the building.
 
>"Ah'm sorry Anon, Ah shouldn't have tried to..." she mumbles to the floor.
"Don't panic, Applejack, it was fun... to a point. She was alright but it wasn't what I exepected."
>"Thanks for understandin', Anon, you're such a good friend. Ah'll make it pull to yer tomorrow at work. Bye, Anon" she says as she trots off to her home
"Goodbye Applejack" you say to her back.
>You spin on your heels and walk off to the "Treebrary" you call home.
>You wonder about the surprise she has in store...
>Surprise buttsex? No, nothing so weird.
>Anyway, pushing that to a side, you think about what happened tonight.
>It was completely crap but at least, well, there might be a chance with ...
>With...
>Oh to Hell with...
>Was there really a chance with Applejack? She was a good friend and co-worker/boss but you couldn't really tell if there was anything else behind that.
>And she tried to set you up with her cousin by setting you up on a false pretence. That doesn't sit well...
>Anyway, stuck within your own head, you didn't realise that you were outside the door.
>You find your key and check the door. Unlocked, weird.
>You silently walk in and you find Twilight, asleep on the sofa.
>What a cute sight, you think.
>You sneak up and gently pull the blanket off the back and wrap her in it
"Sleep well, Twilight" you whisper and walk up the stairs, quietly.
>Little did you know, she was still awake, drifting really but...
>You get the idea.
>Earlier...
 
>You are Twilight, sit in front of the fireplace and reading a good book.
>Drinking some hot chocolate, laced with whiskey, your guilty pleasure.
>Shame really that no-one was here to enjoy it with you...
>You sigh, torturing yourself with thoughts of Anonymous and Applejack...
>Romancing...
>You drink up and curl up on the sofa, trying to nod off.
>Soon, you hear the door open, blast you forgot to lock up.
 >Familiar steps walk up, you close your eyes and pretend to be asleep.
>Maybe, just maybe...
>But no, he doesn't pick you up and carry you up to bed or even curl up with you.
>But he wrapped you in a blanket. He whispers "Sleep well, Twilight."
>It took every fibre of your being to resist jumping and pulling him into a deep hug.
>He walks up the stairs and you mumble
"Don't go, please."
>But he does...
>You snuggle within the blanket. At least, he cares, right?
>Right?