>You are Anonymous.
>You had just received your "Hypnosis for Dummies" kit through the Crystal Postal System today.
>It contained an instruction booklet, a pocket watch, and a list of simple commands.
>You read through the booklet and heeded the instructions well.
>You grabbed your pocket watch and stuffed it in your pocket.
>You were going to Ponyville to spend time with Twalot and the other manes today, so this kit couldn't have arrived at a better time.
>Problem was, you needed to take it for a test drive to make sure you got the technique down.
>Who would be your first victim?
>"Anon? Where are you?"
>Cadance.
>You exited your room to find pink princess.
>"Anon, there you are! Twilight and her friends are going to be here soon to pick you up. I hope you're ready!"
"Of course I am, Cadance."
>She nodded.
>"Hope you have a good time!"
>She started walking off.
"Wait!"
>She turned around to look at you.
>"What is it, Anon?"
>You brought out the watch.
"I just wanted to show you a neat antique pocket watch I got today!"
>You didn't exactly want to tell her she'd be hypnotized.
>After all, what if she refused?
>You held it by the top of its chain, letting it hang out.
>"Oh, it looks neat, Anon!"
"The coolest part is, when you stare at it while it swings back and forth, you can see a neat engraving pop out at you!"
>"Really?"
"Yeah, check it out."
>You started to swing the watch back and forth, making sure Cadance kept her eyes on it.
>Her eyes moved back and forth in rhythm with the watch.
>You decided to speak after about a minute of silence.
"You see it yet?"
>"...huh? Oh, not uh...not yet."
>Her eyes stayed on the watch as she spoke.
>She was going into a trance smoothly.
>The watch moved back and forth, back and forth.
>Cadance's eyes followed it, never once blinking.
>Her mouth started to hang open.
>Now might be a good time to put her under.
"Alright Cadance, you're getting sleepy. Your eyes are getting real heavy, and it's hard to stay awake."
>Her eyes got droopy, and she yawned.
>"How long have I been awake? I'm tired."
"Yes. You're getting closer to completely falling into a deep slumber."
>Her head started to lower, and her shoulders relaxed.
"Okay, good. You're now asleep, but aware of my voice. You will listen to my suggestions obediently."
>She slowly slipped to the ground, fast asleep.
>You sat there, amazed that you had actually put a pony under your spell.
>What would you tell her to do, you wondered?
"Hm...okay Cadance, when I snap my fingers, you will be a chicken."
>A classic, really.
>You snapped your fingers.
>Cadance arose from the ground, her eyes wide and swirly.
>She looked around the hallway, quickly snapping her head into different locations like a chicken.
>When she found nothing of importance, she began to peck at the ground.
>"Brrrk."
>She's even clucking.
>You couldn't help but laugh.
>She ruffled her wings like a chicken, and pecked at them.
"Alright, alright, when I snap my fingers, you will go back into a trance."
>You snapped your fingers.
>She sat there with a blank expression.
"Okay, next, you will have a normal conversation with me, but you will only remember yourself as an earth pony. When I snap my fingers, you will start speaking. You will still be susceptible to suggestion."
>Another snap.
>She shook her head.
>"Oh, hey Anon."
>She looked around.
>"What are we doing sitting in this hallway?"
"You invited me here so you could show me your magic tricks, remember?"
>"...magic tricks? But I'm an earth pony."
"Then why do you have a horn?"
>She touched her horn with a hoof.
>"What are you talking about, Anon? I don't have a horn."
>You went up and grasped it in your hand.
"Then what is this I'm touching right now?"
>"My...mane?"
>You groaned in mock frustration.
"Alright, whatever. You still said you had something to show me on your wings though."
>She raised an eyebrow.
>"Anon. I'm an earth pony. I don't have wings."
>You ruffled the feathers in her wings.
"Then what are these?"
>She scoffed.
>"My ribs? Look, Anon, you're acting a little weird. Why do you think I'm an alicorn?"
"Because you are. See these wings? See that horn? You're an alicorn, Candyass."
>"It's Cadance."
>You snapped your fingers.
>She went out like a light.
"Your name is now Candyass. When someone calls you Cadance, you will question why they call you that."
>"Anon, are you here somewhere?"
>Oh, there was Twilight.
>You didn't have much time now.
>Time to really fuck shit up.
"Cadance, listen to me good. Twilight Sparkle no longer looks like how you remember her. She is an orange earth pony with a stetson and 3 apples for a cutie mark. She now speaks with a southern accent. The purple alicorn you will see with her is Applejack."
>"Anon?"
>Twilight's voice was getting closer.
>What else?
"Oh, and whenever someone uses the word 'to', you will touch your left ear."
>You snapped.
>The seed was planted.
>And just in time, Twalot and her friends came around the corner.
>"Anon, there you are!"
>Purple alicorn saw her sister-in-law.
>"And Cadance!"
>"Cadance?" The pink princess shook off the odd name and ran to Twilight, who was actually Applejack.
>"Howdy Prince-"
>"Sunshine sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"
>"Uh..."
>The 6 ponies looked at Cadance strangely.
>"Princess Cadance, are you feeling alright?"
>"I'm feeling great Rarity! It's not often I get to," she tapped her left ear, "see my girls!"
>If this were any other situation, you'd cringe at the spaghetti being spilled everywhere.
>But right now you were laughing on the inside.
>"Um, Cadance, any reason you decided to," Cadance tapped her ear, "do our secret hoof-shake with Applejack?"
>"But I did it with Twilight, like I usually do, Applejack."
>The six's blank expressions did nothing to convince her otherwise.
>Alright, fun was fun.
>It was time to step in.
"Girls, Cadance has been acting like this all day. I'm not sure why."
>"Why do you all keep calling me Cadance? It's Candyass!"
>It was really hard to not laugh at that.
>"Maybe she bumped her head on something?" suggested Fluttershy.
"I dunno, but I'm ready to," Cadance tapped her ear, "go. I'm sure Shining Armor will schedule a doctor appointment or something."
>"But Anon, I don't want to," Cadance tapped her ear, "leave her like this."
"Relax, Twilight. She has tons of Royal aides, I'm sure one of them will do something."
>"Don't worry Applejack," Cadance said with a reassuring hoof wave, "I'll be fine."
>"But-"
"Let's just go, Twilit. Come on."
>You began to make your way out of the hallway.
>Reluctantly, the six Elements followed you.
>"Well, bye Cadance," Twilight said awkwardly.
>"Bye Applejack. And it's Candyass."
>Twilight frowned, but continued to follow you.
>That went better than you could have expected.
>The next couple days in Ponyville were gonna be fun...