>You are Princess Cadance.
>Today was a good day.
>Aside from having shown your empire the proper way to fellate a dog, you had proven to be worthy of becoming a local law enforcement official.
>And you demonstrated this by dressing in tight spandex and attacking evildoers.
>The ones at the market stalls.
>And the school.
>And the library.
>Was the school mentioned? The young villains certainly didn't know how to handle being given the hoof of justice.
>Oh, and then you took a bite out of the Crystal Heart.
>It tasted like glass.
>And blueberries.
>You were sure your intestines could handle it.
>That's why you were vomiting blood earlier.
>That means you're being cleansed.
>Oh, look, there's your husband.
>And he has a friend with him!
>Why was Shiny crying?
>"Honey...you need to go away for awhile..."
>Going away for awhile?
>That was silly.
>Oh, Shiny's friend has a white coat with him.
>And he's coming towards you with it.
>He wants you to try it on!
>What a nice fashion statement you'd make!
>You decided to take it from the friend and slip it on yourself.
>Wait, what was wrong with the hooves?
>They seemed to be stuck together.
>Oh well, you were sure Shiny's friend would fix it.
>Right?
>Oh, he's guiding you to a better place.
>You walked awhile before coming to a big house with tons of rooms.
>You were put in a room that had mattresses all over.
>Wow, these guys really know how to make somepony feel comfortable!
>Sleeping is gonna be a cinch with all this comfortable stuff!