Anon's continuing adventures behind the styrofoam bars of Equestrian Jail. It's like being in a hotel.
 
>Its lunch time in the Ol' jailhouse. You and the other black jumpsuits are sitting together, as usual.
>Sombra is contemplating his crystals, Chrysalis is furiously scribbling on a piece of !paper with a crayon.
>'5th slimerider infantry flank left, attack commander.' She's been playing Hyperspace Hyperwars by mail with Shining Armor. She's been winning.
>Discord comes and goes. Can't really keep a chaos god in any one place, but right now he's goading you in some stupidity.
>"Anonymous," he begins, loudly, "Oh please sing us the song of your people. Please do."
>You've been refusing for some time.
>Finally you snap.
"OK fine." You acquiesce as you climb onto the table.
>"Oh no, black suits are at it again." You hear an inmate whisper. "Come on, let's go. I don't want to have ANOTHER nap time delayed."
>You take a deep breath.
"Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses." You begin in earnest.
>Its getting heated. And you don't notice that the only guard on duty is your lovely Cookies N' Cream.
"FUCK YOU, I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME! FUCK YOU, I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME! FUCK YOU, I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!"
>Ponies are running, Discord is laughing his ass off, and you're really hurting your throat. Its glorious.
>All until you are tackled off the table.
>With an "Oh, dear." Discord simply vanishes.
>You slide to a halt beneath a brown and cream blur, your vision knocked out of whack for a second by the surprise.
>"Inmate 007!" No one ever worked out why you always laughed at your inmate number. "This behaviour will not be tolerated!"
>Cookie lets you stand, and you brush some dust off your fetching black jumpsuit.
"Come on Cookie..."
>"You will call me 'ma'am', inmate 007! Fifty minutes on the stool!" She looks furious.
>HHHHNNNNNNNGGGGGG!
"Fifty!? Have a heart Coo... Ma'am. I'll miss the library rush, do you know how hard it is to get a book that doesn't suck balls?"
>She's shaking, but you're not sure its with rage.
>"That potty mouth just earned you another five minutes 007."
"Damnit Cookie!"
>"One and a half hours on the stool! Do not push me inmate, I will ruin your afternoon!"
>You hold up your hands and trudge over to the stool. Slumping down with a huff you hear CnC going off at Chryssi and Sombrero too.
>"No extra pudding tomorrow, your majesty. And you Sombra..."
>"Cryssssstalsss?"
>"No blue crystals."
>"...crystals?"
>"No."
 
>Some time later you're getting bored of counting the roof tiles that you can see. There are seven. It isn't going to change. That half a tile you can see does not count. Full tiles or nothing.
>But maybe...
>There are seven. That's final.
>You hear hooves. You smell the particular bakery scent of CnC's perfume.
>"Inmate?"
>You fold your arms and huff.
>"Anonymous? I'm sorry. You were scaring the other inmates is all."
"Hmmph!"
>"An hour and a half is too much Anonymous, you can leave the stool now if you want?"
>You turn to look at her and she seems on the verge of tears.
>"I didn't mean to be so cruel. Please don't hate me!"
>She begins to cry, and doesn't see your hand slowly raising towards her.
"boop."
>Her tears cease immediately and she fixes you with a wary stare.
"You were doing your job Coo... Ma'am."
>"You don't have to call me that when we're alone."
"I kinda like it. I thought you laying down the law was pretty dang cute too." You give her neck a little scratch. She blushes.
>"Can I still come to your cell tonight?" She whispers, leaning in close.
>You lower you voice to a barely audible breath by her ear.
"Only if you wear the hat. And I'm calling you 'ma'am' all night.
>" Oh my goodness! Anony... Inmate 007!"
>HHHNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG