>MEANWHILE, INSIDE RARATY'S BOUTIQUE...
 
A:The mannequins were trying to escape
A:RARITY IS BEING FABULOUS
 
>Rarity runs around doing fabulous things in a fabulous manner, fabulous. Unfortunately she is too preoccupied being fabulous to realize that her very own mannequins are coming to life.
>While taking a bath the mannequins scurry about looking for a way to escape to the outside to do... something?
>But rarity, being the paranoid type, has locked all her windows and doors so that she may take her bath with no fear of rapey intruders, namely spike.
>"Oh no" Says one mannequin "We are locked inside."
>"We can talk? Fucking radical!" Says another while doing a sick ass back flip right into the third mannequin, who was far too busy getting back flipped into to speak.
>"Guys, chill, we need to figure something out." Says the first mannequin, who we will call woody from now on.
>After a brief discussion on what to do they decide to....
 
A:rape rarity!
A:Fuck this shit, exit trough the window in a radical and extreme way. No wait, not an extreme way, an XTREAM way
 
>"Rape rarity!" says the second mannequin.
>"Thats a stupid fucking idea, we don't have dicks" says woody, who would be glaring at idiot mannequin if his face could accommodate such expression.
>"Whatever man, you just don't have the balls!" Says the second mannequin, who we will now refer to as Dick Kickem.
>"Thats EXACTLY the point you fucking goober" Shouts Woody
>The third mannequin simply wanders around double checking doors and windows.
>"Fine, punk bitch, I just got a better idea anyways" Says Dick Kickem. "All we need is a plank of wood, something big and round , gasoline, and a match."
>>17817790
>After acquiring all the items Dick Kickem said to get they quickly construct a makeshift teeter totter, with Dick Kickem on the down end.
>"Alright here's the plan, I'm going to light myself on fire, then you two jump on that end right there to shoot me through the window above the sink. Bing blam bazinga we go free." Says Dick while jabbing both his forelegs at Woody, making gunshot noises.
>"There's a lot of things wrong with that idea but I'm going to tackle the biggest one, WHY are you going to be on fire?" Questions Woody
>"To burn the glass so it doesn't cut me, duh."
>"You know what? Okay, lets do this, I feel like laughing right now." Says Woody as he drags mannequin number 3 away from Rarity's dresser.
>"Alright, jump when I light myself. Lets do this!" screams Dick as he pours gas all over his body and lights himself on fire.
>"Gaaah holy shit why can we feel pain!?" He cries out before being flung into the air by the weight of the other two mannequins.
>He bangs off the window, cracking it significantly, and eats holy shit all up in Rarity's sink, snapping the faucet clear off which luckily douses his flaming body.
>Woody has convulsions on the floor from laughing too hard while the third mannequin shakes his head slowly at Dicks crispy body.
>"What on EARTH is all that racket?" Rarity says from the bathroom.
What do the three do now?!
 
A:play it cool man
put on your cool face
drape some clothes over and it will be like nothing happened
A:Blame the cutie mark crusaders and stand still
 
>"Shit shes coming out, dickhead, get out of the sink and put on this dress!" hisses Woody while Dick Kickem slowly drags his body out of the sink.
>"Ugh...did I look cool?" He moans out as he slowly slips the dress on.
>"You were on fire, now stand here and don't move." Woody says while shoving Dick behind their lifeless brothers.
>The third mannequin quickly scribbles something down on a piece of paper and sets it on the counter before running over and freezing in place with the other two.
>The bathroom door swings out and out trots a damp and fabulous Rarity, her mane and tail wrapped up carefully in purple towels.
>"I can't even enjoy a bath nowadays without some- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN?!" She screams when she steps into the flooded mess of her kitchen.
>"Who did this? Whats this, a note?" She runs over to the scrap of paper mannequin 3 had been writing on before her appearance.
>>17818067
>It read "Dear Rudy, I did it, love Sweet Tea Bail"
>Had Rarity not be blinded by sheer rage she may have easily figure out that this was not in fact written by Sweetie Belle, unfortunately however, Rarity had been looking for a reason to put a serious whoop on that marshmallow ass and this was too good an opportunity.
>"Sweeeeetie Beeeeeeeelll!" She shouts as she runs out the front door to look for her little sister.
>"Whew, that was a close one" Says Woody quietly, just in case Rarity wasn't completely gone. "You okay back there, flame boy?" He asks Dick Kickem.
>"I'm feeling pretty crispy right now. Yo, check it, she left the front door open!" Dick exclaims, flipping over Woody and pointing to the open door leading to the outside.
>Now with nothing stopping the three from leaving, they set off to do....
 
A:Overthrow the government
We gonna run this place, boys
 
...Where's the government
 
>"Sweet freedom is ours boys." exclaims Dick Kickem as the three exit Rarity's boutique.
>"Smell that fresh air, hear those fresh bird sounds, freedom feels fucking great" He continues on.
>"Yeah, swell, now what?" says Woody.
>"What do you mean? We take over, obviously." Says Dick all matter of factly.
>"God dam you have the worst ideas. Seriously, if there was like a 'bad idea' competition you would take the fucking gold." replies Woody.
>Mannequin 3 plays with dirt.
>"Seriously guys, we have been given the gift of life, we can do whatever we want now! Cant either of you two think of anything good?"
 
A:go find some of those fresh birds
A:Fit into the crowd.
 
>"You know what? Fuck you, all you've done is bitch and moan while me and this guy here have been getting shit done." Says Dick, throwing a foreleg around #3, who had made a little dirt hut for little dirt people to live in.
>"I haven't been complaining..." replies Woody.
>"Oh yeah right. 'Thats a dumb idea, you're dumb, I'm so smart that I have to ask someone I call an idiot and a god dam mute what to do next'" mocks Dick, waving both his forelegs around.
>"I don't sound like-" Woody begins before getting cut off by Dick.
>"Save it, I don't know about you, but me and... whatever his name is are going to go find a wood smith, get myself patched up, get some dicks carved for us, and then we're hitting the streets for some 'fresh birds'" Dick says while dragging #3 away from his growing dirt village.
>"Yeah well good luck you idiot, who would want some splintering dick in them anyways?" Woody shouts as the two walk away.
>>17818565
>"Idiots, whatever, I'm going to go do this whole living thing right!" Woody says to himself as he runs back into Rarity's boutique, throwing on some duds, a hat, and glasses to stand out less as a featureless automaton.
 
A:THE ADVENTURES OF THE DIRT VILLAGE
 
>"I am a dirt man. I do not know why I exist, how I came to be, or what my purpose is. All I know is that I have been conscious for 5 minutes now, frozen in place in front of this lack luster hut, which I can only assume exists for me and my dirt family, a dirt wife and son. I cannot speak to them, and I do not even know if they are alive, stuck in this frozen unspeaking form, this 'life' which I choose to call hell. Why? What god would allow this. What- OH GOD A HOOF!"
>"Woops, aww I stepped on someones little dirt thing..." says Derpy, who was on her way to the lake to fish for clams.
 
A:Follow the clams
 
>Life as a clam is fairly lax.
>Unless of course, some crazy Wall eyes mare decides to pluck you from your comfy bed on the ocean floor in the middle of a nap.
>"Oh god what the fuck is happening?!" Says Mike the clam as he is scooped from the lake bed, out into the harsh dry world above and thrown into a bucket with other clams,
>"Oh no, oh no no no!" he thinks to himself, panicked and frightened. This couldn't be happening, his life had just turned around! He was going to get married to the love of his life, jenny the clam, they were gunna have cute clam babies and live their clam lives together forever.
>Poor poor mike.
>The bucket was filled with more clams, soon covering mike, their silent screams only heard by other clams.
>He did scream, only cried as the life was going to have slowly died in front of him.
>Sad, scared, and devoid of hope the bucket swings in the air, rocking mike back and fourth inside.
>They were moving, that much was certain, but to where?
>It didn't matter. Not to mike at least, not anymore. Before long they stopped.
>The bucket tilts over, sending the screaming clams toppling down onto a wooden table.
>"I got the clams!" He heard someone, a female, say.
>"What.. for what? We don't need clams!" Said another.
>"...but you said we were out of clams and-"
>"JAM, I SAID JAM! What would we need clams for?"
>"I thought it was weird when you said it but I didn't want to bug you with why.. I know you hate it when I always ask you questions..."
>"Get those out of here! They smell!"
>Mike could only listen in silent fear as the two towering ponies spoke above him, the other clams had also gone quiet to listen.
>"P-please don't yell, Ill put them back and then Ill get the jam.."
>"Just get out! Out! You never do anything right!"
>Mike flinched in his shell as he heard the sound of a plate shattering against the wall before being scooped back into the bucket.
>The trip back to the lake was faster this time.
 
>Soon the bucket lands roughly onto the earth, mike jostled around inside, he was battered up along with the other claims, but relieved that this would not be his end.
>"I'm coming back jenny, thank neptune i'm coming back!" he cheers in his head.
>The sounds of clams being plucked from the bucket one at a time before being plopped back into the lake filled him with hope.
>But there was another sound, the soft heaves of the mare who had put him in this bucket.
>"Jam... of course it was jam...why am I so...sniff.." She mumbles to herself as she drops the clams into the lake.
>Suddenly she lets out a sharp grunt as she fiercely chucks a clam into the lake.
>"Stupid clams! Stupid! Thats what you clams are!" she shouts as she throws more clams into the lake in frustration.
>"Stupid!"
>Plop
>"Stupid!"
>another plop
>"STU-"
>CLANG
>Putting a bit too much into that last throw the mare bangs her hoof against the bucket on the down swing, knocking it over.
>She hisses sharply, clutching her hoof to her chest and cradling it. She sobs quietly to herself, quickly putting the clams back into the bucket before simply dumping them, and mike, all into the lake at once.
>Relieved that his life had not come to and end, mike quickly shimmies off to find his love, but can't help but feel sorry for the poor girl above.
 
A:What are they up to anyway? (the mannequins)
 
>"Who needs him anyways, we got this shit on lock right?" Said Dick Kickem as he and #3 walk down a dirt path to who knows where.
>#3 opens his mouth to reply but is quickly stopped by Dick Kickem, who points to a building up ahead, little wooden puppets decorate the windows, a large well made sign hung above the door reading "Wood works emporium"
>"Hah! That was easy, we'll be dick deep in hoes in no time at this rate!" Says Dick with a pump of his foreleg.
>#3 three looks back to where they had come from
>"What? You're worried about him? Fuck that guy, if he wants to be a big fat baby about everything then thats his damage. No skin off my noes. Come on" Dick says as he walks towards the shop.
>MEANWHILE
>Woody's plan was working out rather well, his disguise had kept any unwanted attention from him, save for the few curious stares from ponies wondering why on earth any pony would be so dressed up on a hot sunny day.
>"This is good, I'll just blend in for now, do a little watching, get a feel for the ponies.." he thinks to himself.
>Woody turns a corner and bumps into...
 
A:A crying Sweetie
A:Mayor Mare
 
>A light brown pony with a pink mane crashes into Woody, knocking him off his feet, sending his hat and shades flying off.
>Fortunately she was being chased by what appeared to be paparazzi , all taking pictures of her as they chased her down.
>"Leave me alone! I just want to mayor!" She shouts as they chase her off into the distance.
>Groaning, Woody picks himself off the floor and gives himself a good shake.
>"Well what do you know, we DO feel pain..."
>He freezes in place once he hears a sharp gasp at his side.
>>17819531
>Slowly turning his head he looks down to see a small white unicorn filly, large wet streaks running down her cheeks.
>She stares up at him, eyes wide, trembling at the featureless wooden automaton towering over her.
>"...Don't scream..." Woody says flatly.
>"Wh-what a-are you.." the little unicorn manages to stutter out.
>Woody quickly scoops up his hat and glasses, putting them back on and facing the filly.
>"A mannequin." He responds, staring down at her, unsure of what to do.
>She stares back in silence, either from fear or shock, or both.
>"Err.. why are you crying?" he asks to break the uncomfortable silence.
>The little filly stares down at the ground. "M-my sister... yelled at me for something I didn't do.. she said I ruined her kitchen.."
>"Oh shit." Woody thinks to himself.
 
 
A:help clean the kitchen
A:Well it's not Dick so what any normal being would feel. GUILT
 
>Woody scratches at the back of neck, uneasy at the realization that his actions would have effects like this.
>"Ehh.. look kid, since I'm such a nice guy I'll help you out. How about I help you fix up your sisters kitchen? That should take the heat off you." He said as nicely as he could,
>Little Sweetie Belle sniffs up her boogies and looks up at Woody with a faint smile.
>"Really? You'd help me out just like that?" she asks.
>Woody shrugs. "Why not? I got nothing better to do.."
>MEANWHILE
>An old colt trembles behind his counter, Dick Kickem posted on top, pointing a slightly charred leg at him.
>"Carve me a dick old man! I wanna get freaky with some ladies!" He shouts at the frightened colt, his graying beard quivering.
>3# was busy playing with some pony puppets, making a lady puppet kiss another lady puppet in front of a masterfully made wooden church, how progressive!
>"What on earth are you..." the old colt says softly, eyes wide with fear, heart beating wildly in his chest.
>"Horny! Now make me a dick!" Shouts Dick Kickem as he jumps down from the counter.
>"Yo, you want one too right?" he asks #3, turning his head to see the creepy wide smile of a theater mask inches away from his face.
>"FUCK!" He yelps and jumps nearly a foot in the air, #3 tilting his masked face in confusion.
>"You nearly gave me a heart attack! But thats a good idea. Yo old man, can you carve us some faces too while you're at it? Make mine hot! Square jaw, cleft chin, the works!" Dick shouts.
>The old colt sobs as he chops at a block of wood with his carving knife.
 
A:And? Is it a success?
 
 
>One cleaning montage later and the kitchen was good as new, save for the busted faucet, cracked window, and the smell of burning idiot.
>Okay, at least they put everything away and it wasn't flooded anymore, that's something right?
>"Well, there you go kiddo." Woody says to the little filly, who was wringing a rag over the sink.
>"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go-"
>"W-wait!" Sweetie cries out suddenly, running over to stop Woody from taking any steps.
>"Don't you wanna stay and um.." she taps at her chin as she tries to think of something.
>"..oh! You're a mannequin right? Do you wanna play dress up?" she says with a big smile.
>"What? No.. not really." Woody replies, slightly offended actually. What, just because he's a mannequin he automatically LOVES dressing up? What a fucking racist!
>"Look, I said I would help you out, and I did, so now I'm going to go and-" before Woody could finish what he was saying the little fillies horn lights up, shutting the front door and locking it.
>Her little smile widens. "I really think you should stay, for a little bit, I think you'll really like playing dress up..."
>"Oh..oh no.."
>MEANWHILE
>"What the fuck is this? You call this a dick?! Look at how small it is man!" Dick shouts, holding up (beautifully carved btw) cock and balls, flaccid.
>"You want them to laugh at me? I couldn't satisfy a fly with this god dam-"
>"P-please stop shouting, just try it on and think happy thoughts, I'm sure it will work out to your liking..." the old man says nervously, holding a chair out between himself and Dick.
>"It better, or else! Wheres the god dam glue..." Dick says before fixing his piece on. After a moment he feels the wooden piece fuse with his own body, gaining new sensations, wonderful sensations.
>"Aww yeah son! It fucking works! Yo, mutey, check it out, how does it look? Do my balls look right to you?" Dick exclaims excitedly, showing off his new addition to 'Mutey'.
 
A:wat
wat
A:Well clearly Dick needs ot find Woody and...oh fuck you
Let's just show #1 the dick
 
>#3, who we will now refer to as mutey, gives a single nod to Dick, after all, his balls looked great! He then hands his drawing over to the old man who looks it over a moment and then gives Mutey a confused look.
>"This is the face ya want? Alright then..." The old colt says, more or less over his fear at this point.
>"Good call Mutey, lets get our faces made so we can find Woody so I can rub my new dick all over his face!...You know what I fucking mean." He grumbles after both the old colt and Mutey give him a look.
>MEANWHILE
>Woody backs up slowly, Sweetie Belle walking towards him with a sly grin on her face.
>"Whaaaat the hell is going on?" Woody says more to himself then the little filly.
>"I'll be honest with you, when I first saw you I was scared, but now that I think about it, you're like a big living doll!" She squeaks excitedly, her voice cracking at the end.
>"Oh no god.." Woody mumbles in horror, seriously thinking about his stance on kicking a child in the face.
>"And with you, I could become really popular at my school! Finally, all eyes will be on me!" She monologues dramatically.
>Woody was suddenly very pro 'hitting little weird girls in the face', but before he could lay down some serious WWE smackdown vs raw ass whoopings on the little filly the front door nob jiggles around.
>"What the... Sweetie are you in there? Did you lock the door? Unlock it right now!" Rarity shouted from the other side. Instinct took over and woody posed like his lifeless brothers, not daring to move an inch.
>Sweetie on the other hand skips over to the door and unlocks it, excited to see her sisters reaction to the cleaned kitchen no doubt.
>With a frustrated sigh Rarity walks in. "I called some men about fixing the.. oh, you cleaned up?" Rarity says as she catches sight of the kitchen.
>"Yup! Me and my new friend-" Sweetie begins, stopping once she sees Woody, frozen in place exactly like the other mannequins.
>Rarity looks around in confusion.
 
>Rarity looks around, still confused, while Sweetie Belle pokes at Woody's leg.
>"Um.. Sweetie, remember that little chat we had about you getting too old for imaginary friends?" Rarity says as she walks up to Sweetie, who had gone from poking to whacking on Woody's leg.
>"He's not imaginary Rarity, he's real! He talked and helped me clean and everything!" She says as she gives Woody a firm jostle.
>"Now Sweetie-"
>"Hey fag are you in here?!" Comes a shout from Rarity's front door. There stood the now retardedly handsome and well endowed Dick Kickem.
>Rarity gasped hard enough to pop a lung when she saw him.
>Ignoring Rarity, Dick runs right past her at Woody, leaping into the air and slapping his entire junk across Woody's frozen featureless face.
>"Check out my new dick!" He shouts before jumping, not realizing how sensitive balls tended to be, and dropping to the ground in the fetal position, which tends to happen when you slap your nuts against a hard wooden surface at top speeds.
>"Ohhhhh fuuuuuck.. worth..." He groans on the floor, clutching his groin.
>Woody reels back in disgust, wiping at his face. "What the FUCK man!?" He shouts.
>Rarity can only watch in sheer awe, unable to process what was currently going on in front of her, Sweetie Belle on the other hand was jumping on the spot.
>"There's another one!?" She squeaks out in glee.
>"Three.." groans Dick as he stands up.
>"You're gunna wanna see mutey.." He continues with a grin on his devilishly handsome face.
>"Who the fuck is Mutey... is that what he calls himself?" Woody replies, still wiping at his face.
>"Its what I decided to call... her" Dick replies with a flourish of his foreleg, gesturing at the door.
>There stood Mutey, waving a slimmed down leg at Woody, a big stupid grin on her pretty carved face.
>"Holy shit" Woody exclaimed.
>"I know right? I didn't see that shit coming either, the wood guy gave her a full body make over. Banging hot!" Dick shouted.
 
>"...Speaking of banging hot..." Dick says once he notices Rarity, who was still staring, mouth agape at the handsome tall stallion in front of her.
>"Hey there good looking, the names...Dick, Dick Kickem." He says all James Bond-esque.
>Woody groans loudly, If he had eyes, they'd be a rolling.
>"Blaga..flarup..." Rarity mumbles incoherently, he legs wobbling.
>"Ooh ooh! You wanna play dress up?!" Sweetie Belle says as she hops between the two. Rarity quickly slides her to the side.
>"N-no Sweetie, this is a toy for b-big ponies, go play with the other two..." her words growing fainter.
>"Oh thats right, a big pony toy for-" Dicks words were cut short by a flung pebble to the side of his head.
>With a sharp hiss he turns to Mutey, who had thrown it, and was currently gesturing to Woody with her head.
>"What?! Oh... right, Woody, we gotta go get you did up too, get that big dick for the ladies. Not as big as me though, you're punk ass lifestyle couldn't handle it... after a quick test of my-" Another pebble cuts him off as he turns back to Rarity.
>"God dammit Mutey stop being an asshole!" He shouts to the wooden mare, who was trying to suppress her giggles.
 
A:Rape Rarity again!
A:Go with Rarity nigga. Woody can go get a dick on his own
 
>"Dick, we don't have time for-" Woody would have gone on if it weren't for the death glare Dick gave him.
>"...Wow, okay I get it." Woody replies, holding up his forelegs defensively.
>"Sweetie, do be a dear and play with Mr.Dicks friends while I have a chat with him... In my room." says Rarity as she nudges the little filly towards Woody.
>"Yeah, you guys have fun with the dress ups and tea parties and crap." Dick says as he follows Rarity to her chambers.
>"Yay! This is going to be so much fun!" Sweetie says as she hops around Woody and Mutey, who had walked up to them.
>"...So, girl huh?" Woody questions Mutey, scanning her up and down.
>She nods and opens her mouth to speak.
>"We have to get you two in pretty dresses right away!" Sweetie exclaims before she could say anything and quickly drags them towards the dressing room.
 
A:>not porn or porn
>asking this here
Dude are you serious?
DRESS UP TIME
A:Dead
NOW PLAY DRESS UP
OR ELSE
 
>"Hmm.. maybe this would be better in pink.." Sweetie mumbles to herself as she examines Woody up in down in a nice light blue frock.
>"Maybe it needs a hat." Woody replies sarcastically, unfortunately for him Sweetie seemed to like the idea and ran off to grab some hats.
>Woody lets out a sigh and rubs his temples, Above them the sound of a bed banging against a well drums through the floor, along with the light moans and groans from Rarity and her new toy.
>Mutey stares at the ceiling, Sweetie had thrown a red scarf and gray wig on her (Bald girls are weird looking she said.)
>"So..." Woody says to her as he steps down from the modeling platform. "When Dick said you got the full body did he mean the FULL body?" He asks curiously
>Mutey gives him a raised brow look and points to her tail-less behind.
>"Yeeeeeaaah its not weird that I'm asking is it?" he says sheepishly.
>Mutey smiles and shakes her head,standing and turning ever so slightly to show him that she did indeed have the goods.
>"Hoh... its uhh.. pretty?" He says with a nervous smirk as Mutey sits back down.
>Before it could get any weirder Sweetie bursts back into the room, a large cardboard box on her back.
>"I found a bunch of hats!" She shouts as she enters.
>"Oh goody.." Woody says with a sigh as Mutely claps her wooden hooves together.