>it's 3-o-clock in the morning and you can't sleep
>you are lying in your bed wishing their were TVs in Equestria
>you think about jerking off but you haven't seen or read any good fap fuel in a while
>you think about how Twilight might have some good literotica in her housebrary
>then you remember how you pledged to forget Twilight even existed since IT happened
>fucking Trollestia
>you wondered if you were developing insomnia or something
>you worried about how you would be later with the uncontrollable sleep deprivation
>you remembered the good old days when you had five-hour online gaming sessions back on earth until 1 in the morning and then fell asleep immensely satisfied after owning scrubs with your online pals
>you had friends in Ponyville, but it wasn't the same as friends back home
>but you couldn't go home. Ever. All thanks to the magic of--
>no. Nevermind. Don't even think of her name
>you realized you had to pee really bad, but you were so comfy in your bed...
>finally you get up to piss because you don't want to wet the bed
>goddamn tiny bladder always ruining everything...
>suddenly you hear something fall over and break in your living room
>holy shit what the fuck was that? A burglar?
>you walk out into the hallway slowly and flick on the light
>as you approach the living room you hear anxious laughter
>oh god no
>why
>it's none other thaaan...
"Fluttershy, I presume?" you say as you step into your living room and turn on the light
>WHOA
>THE FUCK?!?
>it wasn't just Fluttershy, it was FILLY Fluttershy
>you must be dreaming, you have to be dreaming
>"Hey Anon! Do you like it?"
"Why are you...how are you..so young?"
>"Twilight's age spell! Since she's a princess alicorn she has the power to do it for real now and--"
"SHUT UP! Just...don't talk about that pony anymore, okay? I like to pretend she doesn't exist anymore. I want to forget what's become of her."
>"Uh...okay...well anyways, I made myself look like I'm 11 years old!"
"WHY? Actually, I don't really care. But why are you breaking into my house at 3-o-clock in the morning?"
>"Because all the other ponies are asleep, and--"
"And WHAT?" Is this another one of your pathetic, bizarre attempts to seduce me?"
>"Well...um...no."
>there is silence for a moment.
>"Okay, okay, yes, but now I know Anon! I did some thinking, and I finally figured it out!"
"For fuck's sake Fluttershy, I am not attracted to you and no matter what fetish you try to tempt me with I never will be! I'm, uh, in love with Rainbow Dash. Yep. So you're out of the question."
>"You mean you don't want to kiss my thin little filly lips and suck my tiny tender nipples and ram my tight virgin cooch?"
"WHAT? WHYYY would I want to do any of that?"
>"Because you're a pedophile!"
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?" I most certainly am NOT a pedophile.
>"Then why did you tell me about how you watched all those little kid's cartoons back on planet earth, like Spongebob and Adventure Time?"
"JUST BECAUSE I ENJOYED KID'S CARTOONS DOESN'T MEAN I'M A FUCKING PEDOPHILE! Where do you get these ridiculous ideas?"
>Fluttershy started crying. It was cute but sad at the same time. Her eye mascara began to drip down her little cheeks and she sniffled. It's not that you thought she was ugly, or that you would never fuck a pony, but you just personally didn't like Fluttershy. She was just so...useless. Fucking worst pony in your humble opinion.
>"Y-you just won't admit it! I know for sure! Pedophiles never admit they're pedophiles because society looks down upon them! But I wouldn't care! I would still love you! Y-you heartless bastard!"
"If I truly was a pedo, I would admit it. Because it's not like I'm a sex offender! They couldn't do anything to me. They can only lock up actual child molesters. There's a difference. I mean, all child molesters are pedophiles, but not all pedophiles are child molesters. Some people just don't want to believe that though. I believe that pedophbilia is just a sickness you are born with like homosexuality or bipolar."
>"So then you're a gay bipolar?"
"NO! Listen...please get out of my house. I am NOT a pedophile and I do NOT want to have sex with you, ever."
>"You think I'm ugly, don't you!"
"NO, not ugly, just, really...weak. Pathetic and weak. I'm sorry."
>"Fine. I'm gonna go kill myself."
"NO! Listen, Fluttershy, maybe I'm a little too harsh. It's not that I don't like you, because I do...sort of. I just don't LIKE like you."
>"Whatever. But mark my words, you haven't seen the last of this pony!"
"Oh I'm sure I haven't. Until next time, Fluttershy, but hopefully not while I'm trying to get some goddamn sleep. Yeesh."
>Fluttershy ran off out the front door. You should've kept it locked. You yawn, finally feeling tired. Your last thought before crashing was, "I would totally bang Sweetie Belle though."