> You shake your head and return inside
> Mayor Mare stands patiently by
> "I'm afraid Miss Sparkle was correct, I really must be getting back to my duties. Thank you Anonymous, this has been one of my most enjoyable mornings for quite some time."
> You step aside and lean against the wall
"You're welcome, it was good for me too. Oh, and about the innuendo club, I'll let you know when and where we'll meet, once I figure it out."
> She tilts her head thoughtfully
> "Perhaps we could meet in my house? As Mayor, I have a fairly large space allotted for me, it would be nice to fill it up from time to time."
"Thank you for opening up your warm...home for our use. At any rate, I'll see you later."
> The Mayor gives you a gracious nod
> "Until then, Anonymous."
> After she trots out, you close the door
> You finally have your home all to yourself
> You have to admit, after several months of being village pariah, all this company takes some getting used to
> Your mind drifts back to certain memories
> You could get used to this
> Your stomach growls, and you set about lunch
> All the while, you fret over your princess problem
> Rather than just asking at random, you need to think about who would actually be a good match
> You need more data
 
> You sit at one of the outdoor tables of a restaurant, nibbling at a sandwich and sipping a cup of water
> There really isn't much selection, in food or stallions
> You hear some clinking and hoofsteps behind you, but you ignore them
> "Yer cut is under the chair. Don't go spendin' it all in one place."
"Thanks, shame about the cutie marks though."
> Applebloom sighs
> "At least we got ta scratch off smugglin' an bein' town heroes."
> The cutie mark crusaders scamper up onto seats around your table
> Sweetie Bell looks around
> "Are you waiting for some one? Ooh, are you on a date?"
"Not really. I'm actually trying to think of who a friend of mine should try dating. Do you girls know of any good, eligible stallions?"
> They share a look
> Scootaloo rolls her eyes
> "We sang a song about it, the only good one is-"
> Applebloom puts a hoof over Scoot's mouth
> "No longer available! Um, he is definitely unavailable for doin' weird things with mares that ah ain't s'posed to know about."
"Right, so aside from Big Mac, can you three think of any decent guys?"
> Sweetie Bell shakes her head
> "We sang a song about it, there's nopony else. Well, maybe if you good us the name of your friend, we could sing a new song..."
> Eh, you can trust them about as far as you can throw them, and they're pretty light
"Luna."
> Sweetie frowns, and takes a deep breath
> Banjos and harpsichords start up on the edge of hearing
> "Luna is strange and cold, the perfect stallion must be brave and bold..."
> The background music falters
> Scootaloo joins in hesitantly
> "She's an okay princess, it'll probably end with ince-"
> Applebloom silences her again
> The background music fades away, unfulfilled and a little discordant
"That was a...nice try, girls. I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing."
> Applebloom tilts her head
> "Whah can't you be her coltfriend? Is it cuz you're still-"
> She glances around conspiratorially
> "In the dresser?"
"That's not it, I'm-"
> Sweetie Bell taps Applebloom
> "In the closet, not the dresser. I read all about it in one of Rarity's secret magazines."
> Scootaloo looks interested
> "Secret magazines?"
> Sweetie nods excitedly
> "Like, Bridled Brothers, or Bits for Bottoms, or this one full of stories about reluctant stallions down on their luck, forced to-"
"Okay! Very educational, but not applicable in my situation! Luna and I just have a complicated history, some of which you already know."
> The unicorn nods in understanding
> "I get it, it's like this one story, where the stallion has a grudge with his boss's brother, but gets transfered to his division, and has to let him stick his-"
"Enough!"
> What the hell, Rarity?
> The fillies giggle and run off, Sweetie taking the lead
> So much for the youth of this generation
 
> Cheerilee steps out of the restaurant and sits across from you at your table
> "It's nice to see somepony really talk to them, and listen as well."
"Funny, I seem to remember you screaming that if I so much as breathed in their direction-"
> She clears her throat
> "We all say things that we mean with every fiber of our beings. But I admit, I was wrong about you. You are a much better stallion than I had thought, judging by how strongly you smell of the Mayor."
> You choke on air at that
"Really?"
> She nods benignly
> "I also overheard your little problem. If you are going so far for one who wronged you, that speaks for itself."
> You'd say something, but the truth is...strange and not really a good topic for public spaces
> She continues
> "I'm afraid I can't help you with your problem, though. It'd be a conflict of interests; Ponyville doesn't have much in the way of good, single, stallions."
"And you're telling me this because..."
"I'm going to be following you!"
> ...
"What about teaching at the school?"
> "It's a Saturday."
> You do tend to lose track of days
"Aren't you worried about your reputation? I'm pretty sure ponies are still suspicious of me."
> Cheerilee pats your hand
> "That's sweet of you to think of me, but if you are seen with me, that improves your reputation, which then improves mine as a kind, perceptive pony."
"Fair enough."
> You drink the rest of your water and leave some bits behind for the meal
> The schoolteacher gets up as you do, trotting to keep up with your stride
> "Who do you plan on visiting first?"
"I was thinking that one guy with the hourglass cutie mark... Do stallions call them cutie marks?"
> "Time Turner? I believe some prefer to say 'destiny brands', but most of them just use the normal term."
"Understandable."
> You set off towards the clock shop
> You would only go there once or twice in a lifetime, but the cutie mark crusaders became regular guests of yours
> Even then, you haven't talked to...Time Turner? all that much
> He's always been very businesslike, and largely uninterested in what hijinks broke your clock this time
> The bell on the door rings as you open it
> Time Turner looks up from a partially dismantled timepiece
> "I had had some hopes that you would outlast the week, you were on a roll."
"It's doing fine for once, the mesh cover works like a charm. I was actually wondering, what do you look for in a mare?"
> He glances at Cheerilee, where she is rather obviously eavesdropping outside
> "A certain amount of confidence is preferable."
> Looking back to you, he sighs
> "I can't say I really have a 'type' as it were. I would much rather meet the mare and get to know the balance of her flaws and virtues. So if you would bring in the mare in question, that would facilitate matters admirably."
> You rub your chin as Cheerilee slips into the shop
"I'll have to see if Luna will come out here then."
> He looks at Cheerilee in confusion
> "Luna? Then is this mare your intended?"
> She blushes at that
> "No! No, I am just accompanying him, helping him put names to faces. Did you know he didn't know your name was Time Turner until I told him?"
> The clockmaker blinks
> "Do you know his name as well?"
> That's your clock bro
> Cheerilee raises her eyebrows
> "His name is Anonymous."
> Time Turner nods at you
> "Nice to meet you."
> You nod in response
"Likewise."
> The three of you stand there awkwardly for a moment, then he returns to his work
> Cheerilee jerks her head towards the door
> "I think we're done here, don't you?"
"Pretty much."
> You wave at the clock guy and he waves back, not looking up
> Classic clock guy
> Outside, you have the uncomfortable feeling you should talk to some strangers, but you ignore it
> You set out towards Sweet Apple Acres
> Cheerilee is a bit more leery about following along
> "Do you at least know the next one's name?"
"Eyup."
> You can almost taste her skepticism
> "Care to share with the class?"
"Nope."
> She sighs
> "It's Big Mac, isn't it?"
> You grin
"You said the name before I did. Now you will never know if I knew his name, or if I thought he was Eyupnope the pokemon pony."
> Cheerilee facehooves
> "Anonymous, everyone knows Big Mac. He's the most eligible pony in town, and what is a pokemon?"
"A creature that only says its name. I know you two have some history, are you sure you want to come along?"
> She smiles weakly at that
> "You won't give me the slip that easily. I'll be fine."
> You shrug
> The summer afternoon is peaceful,  light breeze taking the edge off the heat
> The two of you walk in comfortable silence
> As you near the orchard, something barrels out of the trees
> When it awkwardly vaults over a fence, you get a good look at it
> It seems some pony managed to lasso the front legs of a timberwolf pup tight against its chest
> Thus you aren't too surprised to see a lightly battered Fluttershy tackle the fleeing creature and pin it to the ground
> She manages to tie up the hind legs by the time you get there, Cheerilee wisely hanging back
"Quite the catch there."
> Fluttershy looks up in surprise
> "Yes? Oh, Anonymous. Yes, he is a good catch, isn't he? Yes you are!"
> The timberwolf whimpers
> Better you than me, bud
> Cheerilee cautiously approaches
> "That looks dangerous. Surely you aren't planning on keeping it with your other animals?"
> Fluttershy suddenly looks a bit more nervous
> "Oh no, just around some nice predators who can teach it all about how much better things can be with me. I'm sure I can make him come inside."
> Cheerilee looks impressed, but her teaching reflexes take over
> "Did you mean you can make him come around? Such as to your point of view?"
> "Ah, yes. That is definitely what I meant. No other meanings."
> That reminds you
"Hey Fluttershy, would you like to join the innuendo club?"
> The schoolteacher chokes on air
> Fluttershy tilts her head
> "What's that?"
"It's a club for talking about sex while not saying sex words."
> Fluttershy beams
> "Oh that sounds wonderful, I really need to practice that."
"Great! I'll let you know about locations and times when I figure them out."
> The pegasus nods
> "Good boy. Now, if you will excuse me, if you want to, I'll just be taking this doggy home."
"Right. See you later!"
> She flies off, her catch held secure in her hooves
> Cheerilee looks at you with a certain amount of disapproval
> "Innuendo club? Really?"
> You shrug
"Celestia's idea. Royalty, am I right?"
> She lets out a nervous chuckle
> "Royalty, yeah."
> You walk along in silence
> ...
> "Who's in so far?"
> Heh
"Me, Celestia, the Mayor, and now Butterfry."
> She is about to correct you, but then she catches the smirk on your face
> She rolls her eyes instead
"Thinking about joining yourself?"
> "Hardly. I would like the final member roster, it would be good to have a list of the immature perverts in town."
"I can hardly wait to tell the princess what you called her."
> Cheerilee huffs
> "If the horseshoe fits..."
"Fair enough."
 
> You spy Applejack just off the path to the family house
> You give her wave
"Good afternoon! Apples ripening alright?"
> She looks at you and Cheerilee, unsure of how to respond
> "Here'n there. Can ah help y'all with something? Anything at all?"
"We were actually hoping to talk to your brother. Do you know where he might be?"
> Applejack squints into the distance
> "Ah reckon he's down in the north fields, row 39 or so. Ah'll be around here if you want me for anything. Anything at all."
> Welp
"Thank you kindly, Applejack."
> You set off to the north
> The teacher pony gives you a knowing look
> "She was very helpful."
> You shrug
"There are a lot of good ponies here in Ponyville."
> Cheerilee hums in amusement
> "Anything at all, she said. Twice, I do believe."
"Southern hospitality."
> That's still a thing, right?
> "I'd say she was feeling quite hospitable, in a southern sort of way."
"Why, Ms. Cheerilee, are you sure you wouldn't like to join a certain club?"
> You can tell she's having fun teasing you
> "Quite. It's beginning to sound less like a club, and more like a harem. Are you by chance, a Saddle Arabian?"
"I'm sure I'll find some stallions with a taste for double meanings, especially with you acting as bait."
> "A taste for double meanings? I didn't know you swung that way too."
> All these apples are faking you out
> Each time you glimpse a patch of red, your dumb eyes jump to the wrong conclusion
> In the mean time,
"I'm just following the example of our sunny ruler."
> ...
> "Really?"
> "I watched her eat out another mare."
> Cheerilee bites her lip
> "Damn. Did she have a long tongue?"
> Even school teachers have needs, you suppose
"It felt pretty long to me."
> She actually stops in her tracks
> You look back
"Coming?"
> "Since I begun to gain an understanding of your nature, I must ask. Were you a mare at the time?"
"Nope!"
> "Right. Okay. Well, yes, let us go on and find Big Mac."