Dumb rocks.
 - Of course, that joke couldn't really pass XD
 
(I changed it to ‘Apple Pie’ for a while, but then changed it back.  Just as well.  My sis and I haven’t been apple pie in a long time.  Not since the Ministries.)
 - Oh my D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
 
“I think we’ve lost our faith.  ...
 - Oh my, you can just feel the whole thing crushing them slowly. It's haunting.
 
And thanks for listening.  Apple Bloom is right.  You really are a good person to talk to, Zecora. “We’re all very, very sad about what happened to you.  I hope you’re at peace.”
 - The way you grip a reader in the first part. you're doing it so right.
 
The Overcast.  
 - So, um, panic?
 
“We’re going to hitch a ride.  On that.”
 - Wohoo! Because plans were not hectic enough as of late XD
 
“Can’t be bringin’ this then.”  He stared at his trusty black desperado hat.  Half of it was badly burned from the Buccaneer Blaze.  To be honest, it no longer really looked right on his head.  In fact, it made me wince, remembering how painfully hurt he had been.
 - Everyone has their little, big losses, it seems.
 
Calamity dumped the contents of his saddlebags (which I swear took up more space in the hut than the saddlebags could possibly have held,
 - But that's what the pack rats are for! ^^
 
“You won’t fight your brother, but you’ll be taking as much of his ship as you can carry, won’t you?” “Ayep.”
 - Heh, in a way, it's curious to see that of all the protagonists, Calamity is the one who reflects the average player the most. Avid gunslinger, mildly interested in personal style, ravid hoarder, and not-so-good with complicated plans XD
 
“The fire ain’t burnin’ the trees,” Reggie announced.  
 - Oh right- WHAT??
 
“Red Eye ain’t the sort t’ waste resources, is he, Li’lpip?” Calamity asked, clearly following my train of thought.  “He’s cleansin’ the Everfree Forest, but he ain’t gonna burn down the trees.  He wants the lumber.”
 - Atta villain.
 
“Littlepip!  Your spell.  Please!”
 - Well, at least Pip's not under the influences of the Book anymore. So she can feel free to use it, I guess.
 
A moment later, she had dropped to them, breathing heavily, letting her panic wash over her now that the crisis had passed.  
 - That's what you call, having too much in one day. Heck, probably in a lifetime or so. As always, your characters are beyond masterful.
 
Watcher!
 - It's been so long, squeeeeee! Always nice to get more conversations with him.
 
My little pony scowled at me and virtually grabbed my head, making me nod apologetically.  
 - Did it make the funny pump sound as well? :p
 
His time was up.  I barely noticed.  I was too busy crying my heart out.
 - Man, I'm crying right now. It's just... poor Pip.
 
Stupid robots, making all my metaphors awkward.)  
 - It ain't no Celestia or Luna, that's for sure.
 
A patch of forest vegetation was shooting at us!  Goddesses, I hated this forest.
 - I'm getting to appreciate Red Eye's work on the forest very much by now...
 
I was Rainbow Dash, and I was ashamed to be a pegasus. ...
 - Aw, that dream scene was so cute! Kinda makes sense where it takes place (in Pip's conditions)
 
The.  What.  Now?
 - My thoughts exactly.
 
he monster which downed the Mammatus is…”
 - Red Eye has something like THAT in his sleeves? Real smooth, truly.
 
Whatever was aboard the Lenticular had just infected the military channel with the Canterlot signal!
 - OSHI- and that's even after Canterlot itself has crashed down! Is this some sort of monstrous survivor?
 
Fucking cloud-locks.  
 - Way to feel useless there Xd
 
I tried to exchange a look with Calamity.  And, of course, totally failed.
 - But I'm sure I figured out the looks on their faces LMAO
 
Too quiet.
 - I bet Reggie's gone off to some crusadin'!
 
“Don’tcha think your brother’s gonna notice his whole damn ship is missin’?”
 - Epic storage skills, he haz it.
 
“Red Eye is calling me out.  There is simply no other explanation for that…” Autumn Leaf’s voice twisted in a snarl, “…mental violation.”
 - Ooooh, the more I hear of this, the more I want to know the hell out of what grand plan Red Eye's plotting!!!!
 
Canterlot static from the Raptor Lenticular was still flooding the Enclave inter-warship channel.
 - How nice, being in a deathtrap designed for an enemy.
 
“Ah got a few ice-cold Sparkle~Colas in the rucksack over there,” Calamity pointed.  “That’s almost good as another couple hours o’ sleep, Ah reckon.”
 - Hey, that's videogame thinking! You're not allowed to do that! (I kid, I kid :p )
 
Right.  I looked back into the rucksack, my mind insisting on replaying the taste of Party-Time Mint-als, the feelings of competence and intelligence, the certainty…
 - What for, haven't you got INT 10 already? XD
 
Oh fuck.  
 - Looks like someone didn't think all of this thorugh! XP
 
“Ayep.  This is gonna be barrels o’ fun.”
 - I know, I was thinking the same thing!
 
One pegasus in Enclave armor on a ship full of Enclave pegasi, flanked by two invisible and virtually inaudible companions.  If we couldn’t pull this off, we didn’t deserve to win.
 - For once, things are really looking of the wonderful side.
 
Reggie and I slid inside the brig.
 - Real smooth, guys! Huzzah!
 
My horn glowed, giving away my position, as I wrapped my telekinesis about their necks and squeezed until they stopped struggling.
 - Yeah, you got THAT, how could you ever trouble yourself about needing others to do this? :p
 
“You’ll like this,” I replied from beneath the zebra cloak.  “You’re going to steal one of the Enclave’s sky-tanks.”  
 - Oh I am gonna like this too, SO MUCH.
 
I noted the name stenciled onto the side of the sky-tank just before climbing aboard: Tortoise.
 - HA! Of course it is.
 
Their stunned expressions were priceless.
 - Why do I suddenly want to be in the sky tank too so badly? :p
 
“It’s okay,” I coaxed.  “You can do it.”  
 - It's the moment when something horrible happens, isn't it?
 
There was a dragon in the Everfree Forest.  And not just any dragon, the Luna-fucking granddaddy of all dragons.  An ancient dragon so old it must have already been a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, totally all-grown-up dragon back when Spike was only a baby! And it was fighting on Red Eye’s side.
 - Red Eye: definitely not an idiot.
 
I glimpsed an odd, mechanical glow coming from inside one of the wounds which hadn’t fully healed.  
 - And of course, being on Red Eye's good side, you get free cybernetics implants! Enjoy your new augmented life!
 
I blinked, the little pony in my head petrified.  Then spun.  “Okay, that’s it.  We’re getting down there right now!”  
 - Ah, the "GTFO of here" moment. I wondered when it'd come up.
 
Red Eye’s troops were using bullets enchanted with an armor bypass!
 - So, that's what you get for leaving Red Eye alone for a month with his plans.
 
“Red Eye was so impressed on his visit to Canterlot that he imported all the windows used in the Cathedral from the old Royal Palace.”
 - He visited what? Did what? When? How? Really? O_o Well, at least I can admire the taste in good things.
 
“Noooo pony knooooows,” ...
 - LOOOOOOOOOOL, fan speculation has breached the 4th wall (again)! Loving this! <3
 
I felt like I’d been hit by lightning.  Today?  Red Eye’s going to try to become a god today?  Now?  In the middle of all of this?
 - Seems like he was forced ahead of schedule too.
 
“We already know Red Eye will win,” the adult intoned.  “It has been ordained.
 - Creating a cult of personality, again, you're doing it very right, Red Eye.
 
“Sort of,” I admitted.  “I’m working off fragmented memories I caught during my alicorns’ telepathic skull-fuck.”  
 
The signal went dead.  No DJ Pon3.  No music.  Nothing.  The Enclave had shut the broadcast down completely.
 - Dayumn, that was fast.
 
I opened the door, hoping for a stairwell down.  And instead found a storeroom.  Full of assault carbines, shotguns, ammo and more.  Calamity looked like he had died and gone to heaven.
 - I'm guessing he can drop some hot plates to make room for this XD
 
Reggie recoiled and I could hear the muffled sound of Calamity’s many, many guns clattering together as he staggered.  
 - This is what happens when you gun-starve a pony for too much XD
 
“You… created the cyberdragon, didn’t you?” Reggie surprised me by asking.  
 - Oh man, here comes the monologue.
 
As we scurried to leave, the cyber-doc added, “He even let him keep all his gems!”
 - Hah, now THAT's some way to befriend a dragon!
 
The walls were a mottled brown stone that seemed to be secreting a thick layer of slime.  
 - Oh Gawd, I got the chills reading this, reminds me so much of the Cathedral back in Fallo- wait a minute...
 
Like you can make a fucking omelet without a few generations of dead chickens.  
 - The omelet saying is the most abused one, ever XD
 
When the subject reaches the third stage of Impelled Metamorphosis development, the subject’s body actually becomes stronger and faster in the presence of radiation, similar to the “glowing ghoul” and a precursor to the “super alicorn” phenomenon.  The subject’s healing becomes so advanced that the natural aging process is all but halted.
 - Oh, so Pip's actually learning what it all means to be her.
 
As a side note, I hate that freak-o-nature bastard upstairs.  You know, maybe when a grenade blows your legs off and tears up the whole underside of your torso, that’s a sign for you to just fucking die.
 - Why did I laugh at this xD
 
His cutie mark was a blasphemy.
 - Really, I wouldn't take it any way else.
 
I was watching two mass-murderers.  The scope and heinousness of the evil in that room was breath-stealing.  Truth be told, I wanted to charge in there guns blazing too.  Or worse. there was enough blood in that room to fashion a guillotine for each of them.  My little pony was horrified that such a plan crossed my mind, more so by just how appealing it was.
 - Oh my, this passage had my breath taken for good.
 
“Both of you, get back at least two corridors.”
 - Looks very serious! I like!
 
All hell broke loose.
 - Which, sadistically enough, is one of the parts I like the most ^^
 
“I invited her,” said the cool, casual voice of Red Eye.  Autumn Leaf spun towards the sound of Red Eye’s voice and fired, blasting one of the intercoms.  “Don’t worry, Calamity.  She’s in good…” his voice paused as if unsure which word to use, “…things with Doctor Slaughter.”
 - Oh. My. God.
 
“Go with Calamity!” I yelled back to her as I turned and galloped down to the vault door at the bottom of the stairwell.  
 - "Afterall, I'm the protagonist! I can't really die or so!" xD Sorry bout that, just wanted to get that off my head.
 
The giant cage dangling over one of the vats like a piñata filled with unicorns… that was different too.
 - Well, sometimes, the decor rules can call for extreme measures.
 
The door whisked open again, and Colonel Autumn Leaf swooped into the room.  
 - All three main dudes in the same room? This calls for EPIC!!
 
“By intention, I assure you,” Red Eye’s voice floated out of a dozen speakers.  “And now that we’re all here…”  
 - LOL, seeing just a little 'behind the scenes' makes all the difference in taking someone seriously.
 
Red Eye spoke again, and this time he actually sounded surprised, although hardly displeased.  “Did you… Did you just invite me to monologue?”
 - LMAO, it's every supervillain's secret wish!!
 
I also noticed that each one was wearing a mechanical collar with a tiny red light.  The collars were locked shut.
 - Ouch, no much escape to do with explosive collars on.
 
Each race of ponykind adds to the whole, the voice of the younger Red Eye whispered in my head.  No one greater or more important than the others.  It is a vital gestalt, requiring all three.
 - The earth pony, the pegasus, and the unicorns. Now come and tell me he was planning THIS from the beginning! That's INSANE!!!
 
The cup erupted in a crackling blast as Red Eye set off the matrix-disruption grenade he had hidden inside it.  Colonel Autumn Leaf’s armor went dead, and he dropped onto the platform with a resounding clang, utterly paralyzed.  
 - The fatal flaw is revealed.
 
Oh Goddesses.  Is that what I was doing too?  My own plan was not so far different.  Was that the cost?  Compared to the cruelty of that, the paltry help I had given the ponies of the wasteland paled to insignificance.
 - Loving Pip always thinking of what she does wrong XD
 
Red Eye turned his gaze up towards the cage.  “You can come out now.”
 - ...I can't believe this.
 
Goddesses.   That’s where my thoughts were going?  Ick.   Most dysfunctional family ever.  I mentally divorced myself from Red Eye.
 - Never shy from a chance of humor! NEVAR!!! x°D
 
Ponies…”   Red Eye snorted.  “Ponies never change.”
 - OMGGGGG I was waiting for this!!! Also, it must pain Pip not to be able to play her biggest card :p
 
“Forgot you might do that,” he admitted.
 - Of all the things XD
 
The bomb collars didn’t go off.  Like on the Lenticular, the Canterlot static completely flooded the collar’s channel, preventing them from sending the trigger signal.
 - Oh WHAT THE HELL, so that's why she was doing it! Truly epic.
 
There just wasn’t enough time.  There was never enough time.
 - It's what makes things epic ^^
 
I floated out Little Macintosh.  Autumn Leaf’s eyes went wide.BLAM!
 - This fic. Has. The best. Characters.
 
I was Applesnack.
 - Just... wow. And to think all the things that will follow from this.
 
A pained expression settled on Calamity’s face.  “Fer the best, really,” he said, turning towards the sky-tank’s cockpit.
 - Whatever will she say to him once they have time...
 
“You let yourself be taken prisoner in order to help the hellhound, didn’t you?” I said dully.
 - Of course she did.
 
The Raptor Lenticular was full of Pink Cloud!
 - Always full of surprises, aren't we Kkat?
 
Calamity needed no other encouragement.  He beat his wings and pulled the Tortoise into the air, fleeing the scene with a tank full of escapees and twenty floating unicorns in tow.  I turned and sat, looking out the back door, drinking a health potion.
 - The epic has been done. Now time to wrap up stuff.
 
“NO!” I shouted, leaping into the air, grabbing all three of us in telekinetic magic.  Velvet Remedy reacted just as swiftly, throwing her shield spell over the ground, trapping the squirming vines beneath it.  
 - Oh man, the killing joke again!
 
Calamity spat out Little Macintosh and looked at them apologetically.  “Ah reckon there was no avoidin’ that,” he said glumly.  “Everfree Forest was muh idea.  An’ Ah ain’t never had a plan yet that didn’t amount t’ shootin’ muhself in the hoof.”
 - Only this time, you can do it with style, and coming out of it unharmed to boot.
 
None of us felt much like talking either.  The only sounds were the distant crackling of flames, the plodding of pony hooves on a magical shield, and the mechanical hiss that the albino hellhound’s leg made with every step.  He was walking with us, at least for now.
 - Wow, I wonder if he's gonna be a part of the team at any point. That'd be quite awesome indeed.
 
“…rocks.”
 - Wow, what a wonderful way to close a chapter, and to WHAM the reader not one, but two times over! Completely masterful.