This is a "take three items and make a story" story using "Sword", "Stick of dynamite", and "Sunny D".
Enjoy!
 
>It has been Kickassery days since you arrived in Equestria
>You are Anonymous, AKA Anon. You are the only human in Equestria.
>An explosion in the night wakes you from your slumber.
>You're ready.
>In a split second, you yank off your nightclothes and slip on a suit in record time.
>No time for Triple-S, there is an intruder in your home!
>You run downstairs, grabbing your trusty sword- a razor-sharp katana that was one of the only things you brought with you to Equestria.
>Standing in the rubble that used to be one of your kitchen's walls is Fluttershy, with a stick of dynamite in her mouth and a sword on her back.
>In shock, you realize that the wall that she destroyed was the one that The Pantry hung from.
>It's "The Pantry" instead of "the pantry" because that's where you stored your lifetime's supply of Knock-Offs!!!
"YOU!!!"
>Fluttershy spits out the dynamite.
>"Is fighting your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
"No, it's just a hobby. AND YOU DESTROYED MY KNOCK-OFFS!!"
>Banana Rapist draws her cutlass, you draw your Damascus-steel katana.
>The fight begins as you rush towards your opponent, vowing to avenge your favourite cereal.
>The katana and cutlass clash in a flurry of blades.
>Man, this bitch is good.
>TOO good.
>There's only one way to defeat her.
>You allow yourself to be pushed back towards the fridge, and just before Fetishy pins you to it...
>... in one fluid movement, you whirl around, parrying Flutters's blade, opening the fridge door, and taking out a small bottle of Princess Celestia's Sunny-D.
>Not as powerful as Holy Root beer, but it'll do.
>You toss the citrus drink at Yellow Pone, who tries to swat it away with her blade in reaction.
>Idiot.
>A force greater than a thousand suns rushes out of the bottle, smacking into Fluttershy at the speed of a sonic rainboom.
>Team Fluttershy's blasting off agaaaaaiiiiin!!!
>You look around you.
>Two large holes are in the side of your house, and your Knock-Offs are gone.
>Fucking Fluttershy.