>LAST TIME, ON A VERY SPECIAL GETTING TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU
>ANON TRIED TO FIGURE OUT HIS GAYNESS FOR SHINING
>ANON AND SHINING LEARNT ABOUT CRAZY PONY SPORTS
>BOTH ENDED IN KISSING SHINING
>SUDDENLY - A WILD TRIXIE APPEARS!
>AND NOW
>THE STORY
 
>Trixie poses triumphant, a wicked grin on her face.
>You are unimpressed.
"...why is it going to be messy?" you ask, casually
>"Because Trixie wants to humiliate Just Sombra, to revel in his shame, to enjoy just retribution!" she declares "...in the name of the law, of course." she hastily adds with faux-modesty.
"And you plan on doing this how?" you question
>"Well, it's a simple delicate legal argument that would be BEYOND your meagre understanding of the law," gesticulates the blue unicorn, "Why, I believe neither of you would be able to COMPREHEND the amazing legal skill that I'll display."
>Shining is looking a little confused.
>"Anon, who IS this?" he asks, curious.
>It is as though the mirror that was Trixie was broken.
>Her face is one of shokc and horror, and you swear you can physically see where she's cracked.
>"You...do not know of Trixie the Legal and Lawerful!?" she says, in cold, furious rage.
>This bitch be mad, yo.
>She revs the magic.
>The ground starts to liquify slightly.
>Shining looks at her, and blinks.
>"No?" he says, uncertain.
>"Never heard of the Glorious and Masterful Legality that is Trixie? The one who foiled the Moriarty Missplaced Mystery?"
>Shining shakes his head, oblivious to what he's doing.
>"The Mare who single handedly solved the Twenty One Army Surplus Blanket's case!? The Trixie who foiled Fred Fu Manchu and his saxophone? The Beautiful Blue Mare who cracked the Bluebottle Case!?"
>Shining seems momentarily contemplative, then gives a small shrug.
>"Who is this, Anon?" asks Shining, innocently.
>You swear you see fire in the depths of her eyes.
>She scrunches her face in anger, her eyes angry, her mane angry, her everything dripping with anger, staining her lawyer attire.
>It looks like some sort of red fruit punch.
>With cross little faces bubbling out of it.
>What the fuck?
>Ah of course.
>You forget.
>Fucking ponies.
>And this one is MAD.
>"She's the pony who is going to kick your dock right-," she crescendoes, magic at full REV BROWN LEVELS.
"Hey Trixie, you remember PRINCE CAPTAIN SHINING ARMOUR?" you say quickly.
>Trixie aims her magic at your face.
>Oh shit son.
>"Prince-"
"You remember, from that interrogation Twilight was doing?" you say quickly.
>She looks at you, then slooooowly revs down the rage.
>Phew, that was-
>Then sort of PHOOMPS into flame.
>Then brushes the flames off, her lawyer attire immaculate.
>...what.
>"Trixie must apologise, Prince Shining Armour," she says, as if she hadn't just been an engine of angry destruction, "but Trixie was under the impression that her name had travelled far and wide across Equestria, about her glory and skills!"
>She checks her bun, briefly
>"And also the fact that I defeated Twilight." she adds, smugly.
"You didn't really defeat her, you know?" you say, "She still came back and nearly blew me up on the moon."
>Trixie looks at you with a level stare.
>Shining is just watching the exchange, mildly entertained.
"Trixie defeated Twilight at a critical juncture, and saved your life. Trixie would have thought you would have remembered that." she says, snobbishly and full of arrogance, "And and helped you get to the court house, remember?"
"Yeah, in that piece of cra-"
>"DO NOT MENTION THE CART." says Trixie, her hair a sizzle of fireworks, "NEVER SPEAK OF THE CART. OR USING ME AS A PROW."
>"You mean the thing that the Canterlot street sweepers were cleaning up for weeks?" remembers Shining, "What was it, a trail of garbage about ten miles long?"
>Oh she's mad now.
>"YES." she grinds, little fireworks sputtering from twixt her teeth, "THAT cart. THAT cart that Sombra stole and ruined! And Trixie will not stop until she is his jail-pimp!"
>What.
"What?" you say, eloquently
>"AS I said, I will not stop until I have him sucking stallions in jail for petty cash, petty cash that will then go to Trixie to pay for a better cart!" she announces, exaltant
>She's after YOUR Slutbra.
>And she wants her to be TRIXIE'S cockslut.
>Well too bad, she's yours.
>She has an amazing tongue, she's smart in a sneaky sort of way and loves you dearly.
>What kind of a dick would you be to simply sell her off in the PRISONS.
>The palace maybe, but the PRISONS.
>They don't deserve that beautiful mouth. Or Pussy. Or Butt. Or Face. Or MANE.
>YOU HAVE TO PROTECT THAT MANE.
>ACTIVATE ALL THE DIPLOMACY.
"You do realize that Slutbra is the Royal Cockslut, right?" you state, simply, "And that she's the property of the Royal Couple?"
>"She...Slutbra!?" says Trixie, boggled, "How did..."
>She looks from you to Shining, then abck to the palace.
>When she turns back she has a look of both awe and horror on her face.
>"You...you turned Sombra into a mare? And turned her into a cockslut!?" she says, shocked.
>You go to correct her.
>"BECAUSE THAT IS AMAZING." she says, as if it's the best thing ever, "Trixie thought that this was another of Sombra's schemes - pretend to be a Royal Cockslut in order to avoid the law, but if he's actually a she..."
"Protected by law?" you enquire
>"The Royal Cockslut is a position that grants clemency for past crimes against the crown by entering into indentured servitude to the ROyal Couple," recites Shining.
>Trixie is now doubly boggled.
>"It's the only way that we could avoid sending her to the Crystal of Torment," he shrugs, "Which is pretty bad - for instance, the Hecatonchires that broke the Divine Crystal in there is regurlarly torn apart by his own thoughts and regrets over and over again. Seems kind of harsh to me, but these crystal ponies are very serious about the Shard."
>Now you boggle.
>They use religious artefacts containing ancient tortured monsters as punishment?
>This is some Indiana Jones level of bullshit.
>Trixie regains her composure
>"Ahem, yes, Trixie is aware of this. However, this clemency onyl applies to crimes done against the Royal Couple - Not Trixie." she states, "And Not Anonymous." she adds.
"And this leads to jail-pimp how?"
>Trixie brushes her hoof against her lawyer suit, and regards it.
>"Trixie has friends in certain places that can make certain things happen. All the law says is that he...she... needs to serve ... her ... time and repay her debt to Trixie!"
>She grins wickedly
>"And Trixie may or may not take photos. or Video. Or turn it into a reality show. Trixie has been told that there is a substantial market for that here in the Crystal Empire."
>That's mildly horrifying, and a gross misuse of justice.
"Is this a good idea?" you ask
>"Well we have thought about making videos..." ventures Shining.
"I mean, do you reckon this is the right thing to do Trixie?" you say.
>Trixie looks at you.
>You can not even comprehend what the look is.
>But you venture incredulity.
"Couldn't you just buy a new cart?" you reasonably ask
>"I could," replies Trixie, "Trixie the Legal and Laywerful pays much better than Great and Powerful. However, I'd prefer to drive a cart made quite literally from Sombra's tears than any sports cart around."
>...The fuck is a sports cart?
>"And in order to do that, I need Sombra. So, Prince Shining Armour," she asks politely, "would you care to extradite Sombra to Canterlot for due sentancing and court hearing and enevitable prison prostitution?
>You tunr to Shining.
>He taps his hoof to his chin, eyes narrowed in contemplation.
>He isn't seriously.
>He 'hmmmms' and 'hmmmmmms', thinking.
>He is.
>He is seriously considering it.
"You can't seriously be considering this," you ask.
>Shining's eyes snap to you.
>You look at Shining.
>Shining looks at you.
>Trixie looks at you.
>You look at Trixie.
>Trixie looks at Shining, then you.
>Trixie then envelopes you in magic, and simply levitates you until you disappear out of sight behind the sandwich cart.
>The lunch ponies continue on, heedless of your plight.
>"Don't let him and his soft-hearted sentimentality influence true justice, Shining," you hear Trixie say from behind the cart.
>You try and stand up, but the blue aura keeps you stuck.
>You try to cry out but the blue amgic covers your mouth.
>"You KNOW that he tried to kill you, kill Cadence, kill Anon. you KNOW he tried to take your Empire, and that he tried to ..." here she shudders, "...'fix' the legal system. He nearly caused all of Equestria to stop functioning, and threatened to conquer the world. And Anon has stopped him from truly suffering the consequences."
>Fucking bitch.
>She's right, but she's still a bitch.
>To a degree.
>But you find yourself wondering.
>Does Slutbra deserve the fate that Trixie demands?
>Is Slutbra Sombra anymore?
>Up until now you haven't considered the obedient cocksucker to be anything but a pony who was turned intoa cock-hungry slave-mare overnight, being enslaved to the two ponies that hated him most.
>He deserved it.
>But did she?
>Could Slutbra be considered the same pony after Twilight's spell?
>Princess Luna was all but forgiven after becoming an eldritch moon abomination.
>Then again, she did try and sneak out and do horrible things.
>Mainly to fix herself.
>Can Slutbra be held responsible for all the other crap she pulled?
>Screw Trixie, it appears that you're being defeated by your own inner argument.
>"Well..." you hear Shining reply, "Slutbra was an evil pony..."
>"And there you have it," says Trixie, triumphant, "so why don't you give me Sombra and-"
>"But I believe that any pony can be rehabilitated," continues Shining, "and can earn forgiveness for their crimes. That's what the original Cockslut position was there for - noble ponies convicted of treason who would be humiliated and pay for their crimes, and EARN that clemency. And Anon understands that better than anybody - I mean, both Cadence and I treated Slutbra like crap, but only Anon has well and truly forgiven him."
>Holy shit.
>From the way he's talking, it's as if your some sort of saint or some shit.
>"Believe me, I hate Slutbra with a PASSION for what she's done, but we can change her for the better," finalizes Shining, "and the only way we can do that, is if Slutbra remains here, in the Crystal Empire, with us."
>Well done Shining, your faith in humanity is reaffirmed.
>Or...ponanity.
>You hear Trixie humph as her magic cancels out.
>You quickly leap around the corner of the stall and skid beside Shining.
>"Well, ultimately that doesn't matter - all you can do is delay the enevitable." says Trixie. "You're going to have to extradite him...her to Canterlot eventually."
>Shining just shrugs
>"Well, you'll have to go through all the appropriate paperwork in triplicate-" he starts
>She magics up a metric ton of paperwork.
>"Done!" she says, proudly.
>"..and lodge your case with the Canterlot Diplomatic arm and Crystal Nobility Department..." continues Shining
>There's a ding and several scrolls add to the pile.
>"And there's the replies - in triplicate. Done!" Beams Trixie
>"...and then there's the Southern Council-"
>"Already consulted,"
>"-and the Shard Highest-"
>"Been blessed and redeemed,"
>"-and then the City Ring-"
>"Already bribed."
>"And finally the Trial of Trials,"
>"Did that yesterday,"
>Shining simply stares at Trixie through narrows eyes.
>You stare at Shining with slight disbelief.
"How the hell do you KNOW all that?" you ask.
>"I'm a Prince of the Empire, Anon, I know these things." he says dismissively.
>"Most likely he wanted to know how to extradite you back to the Crystal Empire from Canterlot," states Trixie, with an 'are you an idiot' look, "It's by sheer coincidence that it's the same in both directions."
"Ah," you nod.
>Yeah, that you can buy that.
>Shining looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
>"What, you think a Prince isn't going to know these things, Anon?"
"A Prince might." you reply, "Not to sure about you though."
>Shining gasps
>"Why, don't I look like Prince material Anon? I am devilishly handsome and outrageously sexy," he says.
"Yes, but you're not completely conceited and willing to screw over other people just because they accidentally spilled wine on your dress, or put the silk tablecloths on when they're SOOO last season." you reply casually
>"STOP IGNORING TRIXIE." yells Trixie, "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE, AND NOW-" she shoves the paper work into Shining. There's a crash and the sound of flipping, fluttering pages, revealing a mound of parchment.
>Shining's head pops out of the top, his horn spearing a scroll.
>"-YOU HAVE BEEN SERVED!" declares Trixie, posing dramatically, pointing at Shining with a hoof, "And Sombra is now legally MINE! And there's NOTHING you can do to stop me!"
>She laughs maniacally.
>Oh shit.
"Shining, can't you-"
>Shining sighs
>"I'll have to go through the paperwork, but it looks like she can." he pulls himself out of the paper, and hugs you.
>"I'm sorry,"
>You're stunned.
>Trixie is going to take your Slutbra
>And there's nothing you can do.
>Trixie continues to laugh.
>"Hey, Tix,"
>She stops laughing, snorting and coughing simultaneously.
>"You seem to be forgetting something,"
>Trixie looks up, a look of wild fury upon her brow.
>"And that something is ME!"
>Out of the sky glides Princess Twilight Sparkle.
>She magestically comes down, and then gracefully puts a hoof in the ground.
>And then magestically crashes into the pavement, and gracefully tumbles along, landing in a heap.
>She magics herself back into a standing position.
>"Ahem - you're not going to win THIS time, Trixie!" declares Twilight.
>Trixie revs the magic.
>"Oh yeah? Well too bad - this battle is already fought, and Sombra is mine!" she growls.
>"Ah, you have Sombra NOW" says Twilight, "But you still have to go through the entire court proceedings, and guess who is the defence?"
>Twilight taps herself with a hoof.
>"You? Oh, this will be a PLEASURE Midnight Spookle!" Trixie grins maliciously, "This case is pretty much open and shut!"
>"Indeed it is - you'll automatically lose," says Twilight, simply.
>You swear you hear the wheels screech behind Trixies eyes.
>"W-what?"
>"Well, Sombra is indeed responsible for certain crimes. However, he is actually covered by the Cake Budget." she announces, "He is a King, after all, and as such his crimes don't count."
>That...is disturbing.
>These nobles, man.
>WAY too much leeway.
>"I thought he was too old for that to count," says Trixie, "Didn't the cake budget come in after-"
>"The Cake Budget covers ALL Royalty, past and present." cuts in Twilight, smugly.
>"B-b-b-but...BUT!" stutters then clear cuts Trixie, pouncing on an idea, "is he still a King?"
>Trixie grins, "After all, when he became a Cockslut, all his titles and property passes on to his declared master, whoever that is."
>"If he had been required to do that," says Twilight, "However, Sombra hasn't been officially indentured yet." Twilight states "As such he maintains his titles, until the magical enslavement ends and he makes the conscious decision to BE the Royal Cockslut."
>Magically enslaved?
>What?
>"Yeah, the law requires the pony to make the decision of their own free will." says Shining.
>That...is very worrying.
>Does...is...is Slutbra really doing this of her own free will?
>Cadence says she wanted it but...if she's magically enslaved...
>This definitely doesn't sit right with you.
"What are you talking about!?" you ask, angrily
>"It's the Peace Spell, to prevent her from hurting herself or others, "says Shining, soothingly, "it doesn't have anything to do with what you're thinking. It just supprsesses her aggression and desire to harm - or do you think we'd let Sombra run around the castle in full on rage mode?"
>Understandable, but still ungodly disturbing.
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" you demand
>"I didn't really think you'd care, Anon. I know you feel deeply about Slutbra's free will, but we're not going to trust her to not do something horrible."
>She is a sneaky bitch...
>And she was a horrible person...
>But is the pony you care about real?
>Or simply a construct forced into being by magic?
>"...So Sombra is magically enslaved?" speaks up Trixie, cutting into your thoughts.
>"Kind of..." admits Twilight.
>"And if he wasn't, he'd have to give up his titles, and come with me back to Canterlot?"
>"And then the court case, et cetera," says Twilight, unsure.
>Trixie nods, with raised eyebrows.
>"So if, say, someone were to break the Peace Spell, then Sombra would have to give up his titles, and then return to Caterlot, to repay his debts?"
>"I guess," shrugs Twilight, then her eyes suddenly widen.
>"Thank you Twilight, for your illuminating talk!"
>With a blaze of fireworks, Trixie disappears.
>"Curses!" cried Twilight, stamping a hoof.
>With a purple sparkle, Twilight also disappears.
>"We have to go get Slutbra, before Trixie breaks the Peace Spell!" cries Shining, grabbing you and teleportaling you off.
>You feel slightly sick in the stomach though
>And not from the teleportaling.