>Cheerilee's eyes narrowed to pinpricks
>"S-stay away you... you! I"m not going to let you hurt these children!" Cheerilee said as she struggled to keep an authoritative edge in her voice
>The creature seemed to notice her for the first time
>"Awesome! Another one! I can probably get on the Today Show now," it said as it's breath hung in the cold night air
>The thing was talking nonsense
>Cheerilee pointed a hoof back towards the forest, "Just go back to wherever it is you came from. You're not eating any of us as long as I'm still breathing!"
>Instantly, Cheerilee thought of a hundred better ways she could have phrased that
>The creature looked at her with what she thought was bemusement
>"Eat you?" it asked, "Oh! No, no, no. I meant can I have some of that food over there?"
>It pointed a fleshy claw at the bubbling pot of soup behind the ponies
>The thing's stomach made a loud gurgling sound, "See, I've been running all around this forest and haven't had anything to eat in days. And, if you have any water you could spare, I'd be very grateful."
>"Why didn't you just eat some hay?" Snails asked as he popped his head over Cherilee's flank
>"Snails, hush!" Cheerilee snapped, "No! No food, no water, just you leaving! Now!"
>The thing dropped to it's knees and leaned it's weight on the strange metal stick
>"Please," it said with a husky voice, "I'm cold, I'm lost, I'm hungry, and, I'll admit, I'm scared. Please, just a little food and some water and I'll leave at first light. I won't even tell anyone that I've found the secret land of magical talking equines!"
>Cheerilee eyed the creature
>Despite it's size, it did look in a rather bad way
>She had six little ponies to keep safe, though
>This thing could easily overpower her if it wanted, but so far it seemed to genuinely be asking for assistance
>No, she thought to herself
>She couldn't risk putting the children in danger by inviting this unknown entity into camp
>"I'm sorry, but I just can't allow you t-ARCHER! GET AWAY FROM THERE!"
>The blue filly flinched as if she had been slapped, spilling some of the soup in the bowl she held out to the creature
>The strange being quickly grabbed the bowl and raised it to it lips, drinking greedily
>"I-I don't think it wants to hurt us, Miss Cheerilee. Look, I think it's hurt," she said, pointing to a dark wound on the creature's scalp
>"Doesn't want to hurt us!?" Diamond Tiara shouted and stomped her her way forward, "It hunted me down in the forest with that weird cannon thing it's got and nearly scared me to death!!"
>"Believe me, what happened back there startled me just as much," the creature said as it slurped loudly from the bowl, "Mmm, is this barley and okra? It's delicious!"
>Diamond Tiara blushed fiercely and slunk back behind Cheerilee
>The thing finished the bowl of soup and patted Archer gently on the head
>"Thanks, little one. You're a life saver," it said as it rose to it's feet
>The filly beamed a big goofy grin up at the thing
>"Um, I don't want to seem greedy but, well, it's very cold tonight. I'm running low on matches and I'd rather not feel my way around for fire wood in the dark. I don't suppose you'd let me sit by the fire for a little while?"
>The blue filly stood beside the creature and raised her eyebrows expectantly at the teacher pony
>Cheerilee glared sternly at the odd biped
>It didn't seem dangerous as she had feared, but she wasn't about to let her guard down
>"Archer, get over here right now. Everypony follow me back to the tents. And you," she jabbed a hoof at the uninvited guest, "you stay exactly where you are until I come speak with you."
 
 
>Cheerilee led the Outdoor Adventurers back to the tents
>She had them get straight inside and made them promise not to come out until she said otherwise
>After she had finally convinced Diamond Tiara to stay inside her tent with Archer, she glanced back at her strange bipedal visitor
>It stood at the edge of the clearing, scratching it's rear with a paw
>She had no idea if this was the right thing to do in this situation, but it was injured and her instincts as a caregiver were gnawing their way into her conscience
>Her training as a teacher told her how to deal with troubled students, abusive parents, bullying, things of that nature
>But nothing had prepared her for how to handle coming face to face with a bizarre monster in the middle of nowhere
>Could this thing have wandered out of the Everfree Forest?
>It didn't seem aggressive enough to contend with Manticores and Timber Wolves
>Taking a deep breath, Cheerilee forced herself to march back over to the whatever-it-was
>As the light from her borrowed lantern shone on the creature, it smiled and gave her a small wave
>"When I address somepony, I prefer to do it face to face. Kneel down, please," Cheerilee said sternly
>"Oh. Uh, right," the creature grimaced as it's legs popped and it sat on it's knees
>"Thank you. How do know I can trust you not to hurt any of the students or myself?"
>The creature's brow furrowed in thought, "Um, I'm not sure. How about this; 'I hereby do solemnly swear to rustle not a single jimmy during my stay at your camp. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.' How's that?"
>Cheerilee's ears flattened against her head and her muzzle scrunched up, "That's very morbid. I'm in no mood for jokes. I need to know that my decision to help you will not end in somepony getting hurt."
>The creature nodded and looked Cheerilee in the eye, "Sorry. But I really appreciate you not turning me away. I've been lost for days without food or clean water. I was separated from the bulk of my gear through my own stupidity. I've had a ludicrous amount of brushes with death- I mean, like, a crazy amount. Seriously, I had three major falls in just the first two chapters."
>"What?"
>"Forget it. Look... the truth is, if I hadn't found your camp, there's a very real possibility that I would have died out here. What sort of scum would I be if I did anything to hurt the, erm, ponies that rescued me?"
>Cheerilee was quiet for a long while
>"Here's what's going to happen now," she at last spoke, "We are going to sit here until I'm sure my little ponies have fallen asleep. You are then going to follow me to the campfire where you will remain until the sun rises. I will be checking on you throughout the night so don't get any ideas about stalking around camp. I'll decide what to do next in the morning."
>The creature smiled broadly at Cheerilee, "Thank you. Really. You're saving my life here."
>Cheerilee sat her flank down on the chilly ground in front of the visitor, "Please don't make me regret it."
>The two sat in silence as time crawled by
>The only sounds were the occasional cough and the distant honking of geese above as they raced south against the oncoming winter
>Finally, the purple pony with the pale pink mane stood and gestured for the creature to follow her
>Climbing to it's feet, it's knees again popping loudly, the creature walked alongside her through the clearing
>"Thanks again Miss, uh, 'Cherrylee? Did I hear that right?" it asked
>"Cheerilee"
>"Oh, sorry. Thanks, Miss Cheerilee. My name is Anonymous."
 
 
>"That's-"
>"'A really weird name!' Yeah, I get that a lot," you interject with a chuckle
>"Actually I was going to say that's not important right now. You may not be a threat, but you did frighten some of my students very badly and I'm not particularly interested in becoming overly friendly with you at the moment," Cheerilee says matter-of-factly
>"Yeesh," you say as you tug your collar, "Tough crowd."
>Cheerilee sighs and turns her head to you "It's just very late and everypony has had a long day. You might find me in a more agreeable mood in the morning. When the sun is up. And it's not so dark."
>The purple pony leads you to the fire pit and you sit on one of the logs surrounding it
>You reach over and grab a large chunk of wood from the stack nearby
>You pause as Cheerilee's body goes stiff
>Slowly, deliberately, you place the wood on the dying fire, "Don't worry, just stoking the flames."
>Cheerilee seems to unclench and you rub your hands vigorously together before holding them to the warming fire
>The sound of a soft clatter at your side draws your attention
>Cheerilee has refilled your bowl with soup and placed it on the log besides you along with a steaming mug of what smells like tea
>You waste no time digging in
>You aren't normally a big fan of vegetarian dishes, but this soup is divine
>And the tea is out of this world
>These magical talking ponies, who'll surely be your ticket to fame, can brew a mean cuppa
>"Wait here," your purple host says as she pulls her lantern off of her neck
>She walks several yards away to where four tiny tents stand in a half-circle
>She places the lantern outside of one of the tents before entering the larger purple one adorned with smiling flowers
>A tiny head pops out of the flap of the tent with the lantern and scans the camp
>Sure the coast is clear, Diamond Tiara quickly sneaks over to where you sit
>As the pink filly draws close, you give her a wave, "Hello again. Diamond Tiara, was it? I'm Ano-"
>"Yeah, yeah. Listen, you shaved ape," she snaps and you balk at her tone
>"You don't tell anypony about what you saw me doing out in the woods and I won't spread any rumors about how you raped my booty. Got it?"
>"Rape!? W-wha...I wouldn't-no! Bu-," you sputter as the little pony spins around and raises her tail
>A swollen and battered looking anus meets your view, small flecks of blood drying on the puffed ring
>You gulp and focus your attention on your soup, which suddenly looks much less appetizing
>Diamond turns back around to you and quirks an eyebrow
>"Deal. As long as you don't say anything about my negligent discharge," you say as you point to your gun
>The little pony gives you a sidelong glance
>"I think they have medications for that," she says and quickly creeps back toward her tent
>"What an absolute 'see you next Tuesday' of a cunt," you mutter as you watch the pink pony dive into her tent
>As soon as the flap closes, Cheerilee emerged from the larger tent beside it
>She grips the handle of a white box with a red cross on it in her teeth
>You swallowed the last of your soup and set the bowl down on the log as Cheerilee popped open the box
>Pulling out a roll of gauze and a brown bottle, she laid them out on the wooden log before her
>"I'm going to treat your injury, if you'll let me." she says while tearing open a packet of what you guess is an alcohol wipe
>You nod and lean closer to the fire, giving her better light to work with
>"This may sting a little," she tells you and hops to her hind legs
>Laying a hoof on your shoulder to steady herself, she begins to clean the laceration at your hairline
>You wince as the alcohol burns your wound
>"Hm, it doesn't look infected. Then again, I have now idea how your immune system works," Cheerilee says as she holds a gauze pad to your head
>She reaches down to pick up the bottle and her mane brushes against your nose
>The scent of lilac and honeysuckle fills your senses
>"You smell nice."
>The pony immediately drops to all fours
>She grabs a sharp looking pair of scissors out of the first aid box and brandishes them shakily at you as she scampers back
>"I don't mean you smell appetizing," you say with a roll of your eyes, "You smell pretty. Like flowers."
>"Oh," Cheerilee places the scissors back in the box
>She dabs some of the liquid from the brown bottle onto a cloth and holds it to your scalp, "Thank you."
>You feel a slight fizzing as the liquid begins to foam
>"So what exactly is that strange stick of yours? Is it what made that awful bang?" Cheerilee gestures at your rifle before unwrapping the roll of gauze
>Better handle this carefully
>"Uh, well, this is my, err, means of protection out in the wilderness. That sound was it going off, yes. Diamond Tiara and I sort of spooked each other when we met and, well, it fired on accident."
>"I'm normally very responsible with it, though!" you quickly add
>Cheerilee places a gauze pad at your scalp and begins to wrap more gauze around it, "So it is like a cannon. That seems like a very dangerous thing to have an accident with."
>"Well, it's pretty much harmless now. I only have one shot left. All my other ammo fell in the river."
>"And why were you skulking around our camp with a weapon?" she asked as she ripped the gauze off the roll with her teeth and taped it together
>"I didn't know I was so close to you. Honest. I was desperately searching high and low for something to eat. I just happened to come this direction while I was hunting for, oh, uh..heh h-heh, erm...fruit?" you mutter meekly
>The pony boops you on the nose with a hoof
>The glower on her face tells you that she meant it as a serious reprimand and not just an adorable gesture
>"Don't lie to me. I'm a teacher. I know what incisors and canine teeth indicate."
 
 
>Busted
>"Okay, I was hunting for a rabbit. But I swear, I don't eat ponies! Let alone talking ponies."
>Cheerilee looked unconvinced, "So you're a carnivore?"
>"Actually, I'm an omnivore. I mean, you saw me eat two bowls of that soup. Which was delicious, I should add."
>"I've read that carnivores can eat almost anything if they're hungry enough," Cheerilee was eying you leerily
>"I'm not a carnivore. Really! I mean, I can eat meat but one of my favorite foods is rice pilaf. Wait, that has chicken stock. Ooh, strawberry gelati- yikes, no. Listen, like I said before, I'm not interested in eating any of you."
>Cheerilee peers at you for a moment before packing up the first aid box
>She refills your mug of tea and pours one for herself
>Sitting on the log across the fire, she takes a sip before addressing you
>"So how did you hurt your head?"
>You recount your ordeal of falling into the ravine and having the butt of your axe smash into your skull
>"So you suffered serious head trauma and, instead of looking for help, you decide to go tearing through the forest in search of animals to eat?" she asked incredulously
>"No, I only went hunting after I fell over the waterfall back there," you jerk a thumb towards the forest behind you
>Cheerilee scrunches her muzzle quizzically, "You went over the falls? And survived?"
>"Yeah. I think a branch caught me along the way down. It happened the day after I fell out of the sky."
>Setting her mug down beside her, Cheerilee crossed her forelegs over her chest, "Now you're just mocking me!"
>"No! Honest," you say after a sip of tea, "After I fell down the ravine I fell down this tunnel in a cave and found this weird cloud. I think it electrocuted me and, the next thing I know, I'm falling through the skies. If I hadn't bounced off this hot air balloon that happened to float by, I'd be nothing but a crusty stain on the forest floor by now."
>At your mention of the balloon Cheerilee's ears perked up
>"Was it a purple balloon?"
>"Yeah, why? Are there a lot of hot air balloon enthusiasts in town this week or something?" you ask
>Cheerilee ignored you as she seemed deep in thought
>After a moment she looked over to you, "I think you'd better follow us back into town in the morning. There are some ponies there that I think you should speak with."
>That sounded good to you. Maybe you could find a store in town and buy some rope to help you climb back up the waterfall where your bug out bag sat waiting
>And if this is a town where people raise intelligent talking ponies then maybe they'll have an amusement park
>You been jonesing for some roller coaster action
>And think how awesome their petting zoo must be!
>You wonder why you've never heard of this amazing wizard town before
>As Cheerilee stands and collects your mug, something odd catches your eye
>"Hey, what's up with those flowers on your butt? Is it like some weird pony version of face painting?"
>"Hmm? Oh," Cheerilee cranes her neck and glances back at the three smiling flowers on her flank as if she had forgotten they were there, "Why, it's my cutie mark, of course."
>"That," you say, "is the most precious thing I have ever heard."
>Cheerilee gives you a puzzled look, "You mean to tell me that you've never seen a pony who has their cutie mark before?"
>You shake your head and her features draw together in concern
>"Yes, I think it's best if you come back to town with us. Maybe there we can get some things straightened out," she says as she dunks the dishes in a squat wooden barrel of soapy water
>She hides a yawn behind her hoof and turns to face you, "I'm going to sleep now. I think I can trust you not to do anything foolish in the night, so I won't need to monitor you. Be warned though, there are three powerful young unicorns here with us that can easily restrain you with magic if I let them."
>Your eyes grow wide, "Those were real unicorns!? I thought they were just wearing fruity little party hats!"
>"Yes, very real and very magically advanced," Cheerilee lied
>Snails could only cast a basic light spell
>Berry Pinch could do simple levitations as long as the object was very light
>And it was best if Snips didn't attempt magic around other ponies
>But you didn't know that
>"So no funny business," the purple pony said as she punctuated each word with a jab of her hoof
>"I should warn you that I'm a late sleeper, but you'll find me right here in this spot tomorrow morning," you assure her
>Seeming satisfied with your answer, Cheerilee walks over to the tents, peeking her head in each one to make sure the fillies and colts were asleep before walking over to her own
>As the flap flutters closed behind her, you hear a small click and a soft green light glows dimly from behind the purple canvas
>Checking your watch, you see that it's nearly midnight
>You toss a few more pieces of wood from the stack into the fire
>Stretching out on the log, you stuff your scarf and boonie cap into the hood of your jacket as a pillow
>Laying down your head, the gentle sounds of the popping fire soon lull you to sleep
 
 
>"So whaddaya think it is?"
>"Maybe it's a Sasquatch."
>"It looks like it might be a simian. Maybe a great ape."
>"Whateva it called, I say it bad juju, mon."
>You crack open an eye and see the bright sky above you
>Pulling yourself into a sitting position on the log, you shiver in the frosty morning air
>Across the remains of the fire, five little ponies sit on a log watching your every move
>Diamond Tiara sits on alone on a separate log and eyes you coldly
>"Um, good morning?" you waggle your fingers in a feeble wave
>The ponies seem intrigued by your digits
>The little blue one from last night waves a hoof at you with a smile
>"Good morning! Are you an ape?" Berry Pinch asks as she glances from your hand to her hoof and back
>"Children! I specifically told you to wait by your tents!" Cheerilee's stern voice calls from the side
>"Sorry Miss Cheerilee. It was making weird noises." says Archer
>"Yeah, we thought it might be dying or something. We're sorry." Berry Pinch added
>"I tend to, um, snore when it's cold. Loudly." you offer an abashed grin to Cheerilee when she trots into view
>As she herds the children back towards the tents she keeps a close watch on you
>You notice it isn't as suspicious of a look as she was giving you last night
>Just cautious
>Sitting in front of their tents, the little ponies stare at you and whisper into each others ears
>Soon, Cheerilee passes by with a basket balanced on her back and passes breakfast around to the Outdoor Adventurers
>As the ponies begin eating, you bend down and unlace your boots
>Tapping them against the side of the log, a pile of sand, dried mud, and pebbles flows out of each one
>You're tying them back up when a tray hovers in the corner of your vision
>Cheerilee stands next to you offering you the food
>You thank her and sit the tray on your lap as she places her basket on the ground and pulls out her own meal
>She sits on the log beside you and the two of you begin to eat quietly together
>The tray held a glass of grape juice, a bowl of chopped fruit, and a chunk of bread
>You bite into the bread and find it's sweet and glazed with honey
>As you wash it down with a sip of your juice, Cheerilee speaks up
>"I've told the children that we'll be cutting the day's activities short so we can get back to town as soon as possible."
>"That reminds me," you say around a bite of bread, "What are you doing out here in the woods? You keep mentioning this town, so I assume you don't live out here."
>Cheerilee shakes her head, "No, we all live closer to town. These children are students in my class. They're members of the Outdoor Adventurers Club. This is their last field trip before winter holiday."
>"Like Outward Bound?"
>"I'm not familiar with that organization. The Outdoor Adventurers Club is a program for young fillies and colts who wish to learn more about the natural world around them."
>You snicker and Cheerilee gives you an inquiring look
>"Nothing, it's just, 'fillies and colts'. So damn cute!"
>Cheerilee nibbles on her fruit, "You never said where it is you're from."
>You picture the lay out of the area in your head, "Well, my house is about fifteen miles east from the state forest."
>"And where is that?" Cheerilee asked
>With a chunk of cantaloupe in your mouth, you gesture to the forest around you
>Cheerilee looks around the clearing, "This is Whitetail Woods. And there aren't any ravines around here."
>You must have really gotten yourself lost
>You've never heard of any Whitetail Woods where people teach ponies to talk
>"So, I suppose I should ask you the most important question." Cheerilee says as she takes a dainty bite of her bread, "What are you?"
>"Well, when I'm not getting lost in the woods, I'm a line cook at the Skvatzenschitz Eastern European Diner. You might have heard of us. Just stay away from the Slovakian Surprise."
>You lean over and whisper conspiratorially in her ear, "The surprise is the staggering amount of intestinal parasite larvae."
>Cheerilee shook her head, "No, I mean what species are you. I'm a pony. You're a... what?"
>"A human. Duh! Don't tell me you don't recognize a human."
>Cheerilee gave you a strange look while she placed your empty trays back in her basket, "I've been a teacher for more than four years now and I've never hear of anything like you before. As far as I know, there are no 'humans' in Equestria."
 
 
 
>Concerned by this revelation, you stand to your feet and follow the purple pony to where she stands washing the pile of dishes her students had stacked up
>"You're kidding me, right? You must know what humans are. They run the farms you all live on, you know? They're the ones who taught you how to talk. And what's Equestria?"
>Cheerilee doesn't look up from the tub of sudsy water as she answers you, "I'm not kidding, today is the first time I've heard the word 'human'. I grew up in the suburbs and currently live in my cottage near the schoolhouse. The only ponies who live on farms around here are the ones who grow produce on them. And they certainly don't teach ponies how to speak on any of the farms that I'm aware of. My parents taught me how to talk when I was an infant and I continued to study language through school. Equestria is the land we are currently talking in. Pass me that dish towel, please."
>You absently hand her the towel, your mind furiously trying to process this new information
>Could she be lying? She doesn't seem the type
>But what do you know about pony types?
>Is there really a race of intelligent ponies in this strange land?
>Could that cloud have sent you to another dimension?
>Did it kill you? Is this the hereafter? Those religious types sure missed the mark
>As you're trying to piece together your predicament, you see Cheerilee was now over at the row of tents
>Whilst the children began packing up their camping equipment and breaking down their tents, you make your way over to the group of ponies
>Careful to keep a courteous distance between you and the little ones, you stand behind Cheerilee as she sorts her rumpled pile of gear, "Need any help?"
>Cheerilee jumps with a start and lets out a "Meep!" as she crams the froggy nightlight in her hooves underneath her sleeping bag and hides it behind her
>She turns to you with wide eyes as a forced smile
>"Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you. You looked like you could use some assistance with that," you point to her tent in it's partial state of disassembly, the front half drooping down and tent poles jutting out from the back
>"N-no, thank you for the offer, but I can manage."
>You sit on the still-frosty grass and stare up at the bright fall sky while Cheerilee's wiggling flank sticks out of her tent
>"Urgh, stupid pole. Snap, ernf, loose!"
>From inside the tent a sproinging sound is heard and the canvas material drifts flat to the ground with a "POMF", leaving a pony shaped mound in it's center
>Shuffling her way free, Cheerilee pokes her head out with a pout
>You point to the pile of canvas, "Yeah, I hardly ever bother with those things. I find a tarp works just as well most of the time."
>Cheerilee begins to fold up her tent, "How do you mean? Use it as a blanket?"
>"Nah, there's a bunch of different shelters you can make with a decent sized tarp. I'd show you, but all my gear is still at the top of the waterfall. Oh, don't let me forget, I want to pick up some rope to help me climb back up there when we get to this town of yours."
>Cheerilee looked troubled as she slid the folded tent into a stuff sack, "I'm sure we can find you a rope or whatever else you need to gather your things. I think it would be best if I had a word with some of the other ponies before you go walking through town, though."
>"Well, do you want me to just wait here for you?"
>Stopping for a moment, Cheerilee considered her options
>"No, it's quite a walk back out to this clearing. You asked for my help, and I'm going to give it."
>She turns and gives you a long look, "I suppose... I suppose you can stay at my house while I confer with some of the towns ponies."
>"That's very gracious of you."
>Cheerilee gives you a soft smile and tucks the rest of her kit in her saddlebags
>The children had all packed up and Cheerilee called them to gather together
>"Okay, my little ponies. I'm sorry to have to cut this trip short, but given the, shall we say," she glances in your direction, "circumstance that has arisen, I'm afraid we have no other choice."
>Berry Pinch looked a little dejected, but the others seemed eager to have the remainder of their Sunday to themselves
>"I'm sure you're all anxious to tell your parents about our unexpected visitor, but please be sure to tell them that I'd like to have a word with them all as soon as possible to explain the situation. So, if there's nothing else-"
>"A-HEM!"
>"Yes, Diamond Tiara, you'll all be getting full credit added to your grades. I hope you had fun on this trip and learned a few new things. Now, everypony follow me. Next stop, Ponyville!"