>Oblivious in Requestria.
>This is it.
>This is the day you will finally get Pinkie to notice you!
>After a shit shower shave routine you head downstairs and outside.
>Stroll down the street to the flower mare, Rose.
>She looks up at you from smelling her daisies, "Wow Anon you look pretty good today."
"Thanks Rose. I'm trying to impress a pony."
>Her eyes widen and she tenses up but immediately relaxes.
>"Oh, um, who?"
>She twirls her mane around her hoof and blushes a little.
>You pick up a few pink roses and stare into them.
"Pinkie Pie... She's funny, beautiful..."
>Rose coughs, "O-Oh okay. Well then you probably don't w-want to hang around here very long do you?"
"Sorry Rose. I have to go. How much do you want for these?"
>"N-No keep them. It's on me."
"Thanks Rose!"
>Run off to Sugar Cube Corner with one goal in mind.
>Getting Pinkie to finally fall for you!
>Reach the door and walk through.
>A long line is there and Pinkie is at the counter.
>You walk ahead when a hoof stops you.
>Look down to see Lyra.
>"Just cause you're a human doesn't mean you get to cut in line."
"But I-"
>All the ponies in front of her stare at you.
"Okay."
>Walk to the back of the line.
>...
>It's been almost a half hour just waiting in line.
>And there's only one pony in front of you.
>Derpy.
>"I'll have the... Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum..."
>Your eye twitches.
"Hey, how about you have the muffin?"
>She turns to you.
>"What a great idea!"
>She turns back.
>"One muffin please!"
>Pinkie looks at her, "Raisin or Chocolate chip?"
>"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum..."
>"Here, I'll just get you chocolate chip."
>"Alright."
>She leaves and comes back within the next minute with a chocolate chip muffin.
>"Here you go. That'll be 1 bit."
>Derpy reaches into her saddlepack and pulls out a bit, placing it on the counter.
>Pinkie takes it and Derpy leaves.
>Then she sighs.
>"Can you believe somep0nies?"
"Yeah talk about indecisive."
>She nods.
>"What can I get you?"
"The rest of the day alone with you."
>Pull up the roses and Pinkie smiles.
>"Aww how did you know those are my favorite color AND flavor?"
>She eats the top of both.
>"Now about what you said... Sure! I can hang out with a friend! Where did you want to go? To the park? Oh maybe we can go for a swim in the lake!"
"No no Pinkie I meant 'alone time' with you."
>"That's what I mean too!"
"Can we just go upstairs to your room?"
>"Alright."
>She leads you upstairs and knocks on a door as she goes.
>It opens and Mrs. Cake is there.
>"Can you take over for me?"
>"After all you do for us? Of course!"
>She trots downstairs and Pinkie smiles to you.
>This is gonna be so fucking AWESOME.
>She leads you up to her room.
>"This is my room!"
>Then she jumps on her bed and puts her arms to her sides.
>"And this is my bed!"
>She giggles and you sit on the bed.
"So Pinkie, I'm gonna be straight with you."
>She nods.
"I think that you're a really attractive mare and I would like to pleasure you until the early hours of the morning."
>"Oooh pleasure! So like cake? Cake gives me pleasure!"
"No Pinkie I mean I want to have piece of that Pie."
>"I LOVE pie!"
"NO that's not what I mean! I want to eat you out!"
>"Eat me? Are you some sort of meat eating monster?"
>She giggles.
"Pinkie I want to have sex with you."
>She tilts her head.
>"Sex? What's that?"
>What.
"You don't know what sex is?"
>"Well it sounds like Rex so is it a dinosaur?"
>Can't fucking believe it.
>Grab your head as you walk back down the stairs.
>She doesn't even know what sex is.
>Are you fucking kidding?
>Continue walking out of Sugar Cube Corner.
>Drop the stems of the roses in the street as you go.
>It's fucking unbelievable.
>You walk up to Rose's house and knock on the door.
>She opens it blowing her nose with a tissue.
>"Oh, it's you!"
"Yeah... Can I come in?"
>"Of course!"
>She moves aside and closes the door.
>You sit down on her couch and she sits right next to you.
>She rests her hoof on your leg.
>"What happened?"
"Pinkie... She doesn't even know what sex is."
>"Oh my gosh..."
>It is silent as you both sit there.
>"I know what sex is."
>You look down at her.
>She bats her eyelids and smiles seductively.
>Looks like this day will be saved.
>This time by,
>Fucking Roseluck.