Kinky Pie
Plan X-Level 4
 
>Level 4
>With Rapeity no longer chasing your flank it was time to handle the greatest threat yet
>Pinkamenia Diane Pie
>Codename Kinky Pie
>While the others had exploits larger than a thermal exhaust port on a Death Star
>Your amaranth antagonist shows levels of depravity you thought only Fluttershy could sink to
>For a while it seemed there was no kink that was too lewd for her
>Watersports, bondage, S&M, foodplay, rape fetish, autoerotic asphyxiation, infantilism, anal, voyeurism, pegging
>It seemed as long as both people were having fun and no one was hurt she didn't care what the act was
>Which while theoretically noble it was maddening when trying to turn someone off
>Your initial ideas of watching paint dry and the silent game didn't work, but you did end up with a freshly painted house thanks to Fluttershy after that
>Once you made her repaint over the images of you two having sex it wasn't so bad
>You finally made a breakthrough on Pinkie's weakness however, and might have the one weapon to stop this pink perpetual motion machine once and for all
>You enter the witch's gingerbread house and prepare yourself for the worst
>The Cake's are visiting family in Manehatten so Pinkie has been left in charge of the shop
>It's a slow day it seems and Pinkie is behind the counter organizing the shelf, her back turned to you as she is singing to her self
>"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay sexy Anons, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Oppan Flutterstyle"
>Curse that catchy song
>Songs about raping you shouldn't be allowed to be that catchy
>She stops singing when she hears the bell on the door ring to announce that a customer has entered the store
>She turns around and opens her mouth
>Prepare shields now!
>"OhmygoshohmygoshAnonhowareyoudoingIwasjustsingingasongaboutyoudoyouliketosingsongsIlovetosingsingsingsing...."
>We can't take Pinkiness of this magnitude Captain!
> Shields are at half power!
>"andsothenIsaidwhynottryfeedingthat'sawonderfulfetishohmgoshareyouheretobuysomegoodsorformetoguessyourfetishor.."
>We're going down Captain!
>"wecouldhaveapartyandinviteeveryoneandplaypinthetailontheponyorwecouldhaveaSEXYpartyIlovesexypartiesanditcouldbejustthetwoofusorifyouwantwecanstillinviteeverypony.."
>I can't take it anymore Anon, I'm sorry
>Don't you quit on me now Brain!
>I need you!
>I'm sorry Anon, I'm hit. I can't go on anymore. But you can do this.
>No! We'll go home, and I'll read to you, and we can eat some fish, and do math problems, and all you're other favorite activites!
>Don't leave me Brain! Please. [spoiler]What will I do without you?[/spoiler]
>Anon, I believe in you. You've had the power to do this all along.
>[spoiler]I love...you...Anon..[/spoiler]
>Brain?
>Braaain?!
>BRAAAAAAAAAAIN!
>"Why are you crying Anon? Oh did you come for me to cheer you up! I'll get us a cake and some streamers, wait right here!"
>It's personal now Pinkie
"I came for a party alright Pinkie. I came to cash in on that birthday present you gave me."
>She doesn't seem to notice the edge in your voice as she starts ramble on
>"Oh, how can you cash in cupcakes? Do banks take cupcakes now cause let me tell you-"
>That cupcake you shoved in her mouth will only delay her for so long!
"No Pinkie, I mean the OTHER present you got me."
>You pull a piece of paper out of your back pocket and read it aloud
"The bearer of this coupon is entitled to one Super Sexy Secret Sex Spectacular with the one and only Pink Party Princess of Ponyville Pinkie Pie"
>"Mmmmmm frosting. So you did come for a sexy party!"
"If that's all you want it to be Pinkie."
>She looks at you with a face full of smiles
>"And what else could we be?"
>Her eyes have gone from cheerful to full on seduction mode
"We could be more than just best friends, or even super best friends. We could even be-"
>"Super dooper sexy best friends forever and beyond special somep0nies!!!????"
"Yeah.....that."
>"This is wonderful! I've never had a SDSBFFABSS before! Come on!"
>She runs up the steps tail raised as you switch the shop sign to closed and follow her to her room
>Inside she had already pulled out a box labelled "Do Not Touch! This means you Gummy!" that is filled with her weapons of mass delectation
>"So what do you want to try first? I've got dildos, or we bondage, or roleplay, I have a Rarity costume if that's your thing!? So?"
"I have a different idea Pinkie. A very special fetish that you have to Pinkie promise not to tell anyone."
>"Cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye!"
"Wonderful. Now let me tell you a story called Cupcakes......"
>"I love stories AND cupcakes! You're the best SDSBFFABSS ever!"
>This is for you brain
>You pull the story out of your pants pocket and began to read
>One Story Later
>You look up from the sheet, but instead of a pale traumatized pony Pinkie is just sitting there smiling.
>"That story was silly Anon!"
"What? You're not scared? Or scarred?"
>Nope!But there's no shame in having a guro fetish Anny Wanny; let me pull out my copy of FracturedFlow's Big Book of Gore!"
"What? Pinkie no!"
>"Alrighty then."
>She turns around with a killer look in her eye and a deflated mane, and had pulled a knife and some rope from the box
>"Lets get started. Why don't you help your Auntie Pinkie make some cupcakes?"
>She licks her lips descends upon you
"PINKIE NO! Please!"
>"Oh, I'm sorry Anon. I thought you wanted ME to be the killer cause of your story. Here!"
>She hands you the knife, which you can now tell is plastic
>"It has a marker so you can pretend I'm bleeding! I think I've got some fake blood here somewhere."
>She's back in her box rummaging around
"I should have eaten more oatmeal this morning."
>*sigh*
>"Who eats Oatmeal for breakfest silly?"
"I do. Every day."
>She's turned around and looking at you confused
>You might take her more seriously is not for the jar of salsa labelled "gore" on her head
>"You don't eat frosting? Or cupcakes? Or cupcake flavored sugary cereal covered in frosting?"
"No. Just oatmeal."
>"You poor thing! You can have a box of mine, I keep them stashed around P0nyville in case of breakfest emergencies."
>You stop her as she pulls a box out from under her bed
"No Pinkie, I eat oatmeal because I LIKE it. Not because I don't have anything else."
>She looks at you like when you explained that having a party to celebrate being stalked by Fluttershy is inappropriate
>"But you cover it in frosting right?"
"Nope. Just oatmeal."
>"Sugar?"
"Nope. Just oatmeal."
>"Blueberries?"
"Nope. Just oatmeal."
"Strawberries? Mango? Flowers?"
"Nope. Just oatmeal."
>"Cinnamon?"
"No. Just oatmeal."
>"It can't JUST be oatmeal Anon, why, that's, that's, that's crazy!"
"I just like oatmeal Pinkie, I don't get the big deal."
>"The big deal!"
>She shaking you with her hooves now
>"CraaAAAaaaazzzy Anon. Crazy!"
"But it's healthy and nutritious."
>She stares at you slack jawed and a little disappointed.
>"I'm sorry Anon, but I don't know if I can be your SDSBFFABSS. We can still be SDSBFFs though right?"
>You smile
"Sure Pinkie."
>"And fuck buddies!"
"No."
>"Awwwwwwwww. But I'm glad I didn't lose a friend today."
>Her hug warms your body, but the loss of Brain has frozen your insides
>Warm on the outside and frozen on the inside, like a badly cooked hamburger
>Or a blazing comet surging into the atmosphere, a diamond of ice burning away until there is nothing left, like the emptiness inside you
>Wait, that was way too beautiful for you to come up with
>Brain?
>An...o..n
>You're still alive!
>"Anon you're crying again! But now you're smiling! I like it when you smile."
"Me too Pinkie. I gotta go help a friend."
>You run out the door as Pinkie waves goodbye
>The plan can wait
>There's someone special you need to be with right now