>You are Anon
"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!"
>You're sprinting to the schoolhouse, a collection of shiny metal cookware clanging noisily behind you, almost as if it were actively trying to draw attention to your endless string of profanity
>You pass a number of ponies and all of them either gawk at you in dumbstruck wonder or scream in confused terror
"Shitfuckshitfuckshitshitfuckfuckfuckfuck!"
>Your legs burn with lactic acid and you feel like you could collapse at any moment but you only push yourself harder
 
>You are Dinky
>You've been sitting under this tree crying for somewhere between ten minutes and forever
>You're fed up with it now and you stand up to leave, your sadness beginning the transformation into anger
"Stupid Anon... I bet he-"
>You hear something in the distance, but you have absolutely no idea what it could be
>You narrow your eyes as you try to figure out what that racket could be, the sound beginning to remind you of the armor the Royal Guard wore.
>Suddenly Anon rounds the corner near the schoolhouse, a tangled mass of shiny metal tied to his back banging and clanging wildly as he runs toward you at an impressive speed
"What in the hoof is he doing?"
> You simply stand there, mouth agape, trying to piece together this mental puzzle
 
>You are Anon
>You are also absolutely exhausted.
>"Anon, what IS all of this?"
>You're laying in the road, gasping in hot mouthfuls of air that sting your lungs as Dinky walks in circles around you examining your new, though now slightly dusty cookware
"Puh...Pans... Pots..."
>You can barely manage that much as you struggle to normalize your heart rate
>You would think your legs had fallen off at some point if they didn't feel like they were on fire
>Dinky looks at her reflection in one of the pans, obviously confused.
>"Why did you get all thi-"
>She suddenly remembers that she's upset with you and adopts a disciplinary tone, circling back around to your face so she can yell at you properly
 
>You loom over Anon's forehead, looking as angry as you possibly can
"So you weren't there to walk me home because you were too busy buying all this junk?"
>You make the most adorably flippant gesture towards the dusty pots and pans
>Anon seems like he's fighting a sneeze and you glare at him again
"Well?!"
>Your voice squeaks when you yell and Anon finally loses it, erupting into a fit of giggles despite the fact that you're obviously upset
>Unsure of what else to do, you turn away in a huff, whipping the side of his face with your tail and start for home
>"Oh, come on Dinky that was too cute. You know I can't take it when you fillies are so adorable."
>You turn on him, tears in your eyes again as you're reminded of what you'd endured today for his sake.
"I am NOT adorable!"
>The grin disappears from his face, a look of concern that makes you feel a little guilty taking it's place
>"Dinky, I'm sorry. I tried to be here by the time school closed but I was working something out with Pinkie and the cakes and-"
"They said I'm just some monster like you!"
>The tears flow now, your voice squeaking as it all pours out
"They always call me retarded and they always call my mommy retarded, but today was different! Today I'm not just retarded, I'm a monster! I'm a retarded half-human monster and nopony will ever love me!"
>Anon lets you finish and immediately wraps you in a tight hug
>He doesn't say anything and you take the opportunity to just sob into his shoulder as long as you want
>When you finally look up from his shoulder, sniffling and wiping your eyes you realize that Anon has been walking for some time now.
>You still don't know what to say, but Anon's hand stroking your mane and rubbing your back assures you that it's fine.
>You rest your chin on his shoulder and idly lift one of the pots with your magic to inspect it a bit closer
>Still dusty, still unimpressive
"What are these even for? Our stove is so tiny you could never use this many pans."
 
>He smiles
>You can't see it but you can feel it
>"They're just part of the surprise."
>As if on cue Mommy swoops down out of the sky, nearly crashing into Anon, which would've sent you tumbling
>"Anon! What's going on?! They just started doing stuff and... And I asked them why and they just said 'orders from Pinkie' and kept doing stuff! I went and found Pinkie and she said something about a Pinkie promise but I was so worried I didn't remember and-"
>Anon boops Mommy's nose, which stops her rambling
>"Well, I wanted to do something in return for the two of you accepting me into your home so I made a deal with Pinkie Pie and the cakes."
>Anon is beaming proudly as the three of you walk towards the house where construction is almost complete
>"But what did you do?"
>Mommy still sounds pretty anxious
>"Well, the Cakes were trying to find someone to sell their old stove to and I told them I'd take it off their hands. It cost me every bit I'd earned at Sweet Apple Acres but it was worth it. After that I made a Pinkie Promise to bake something sweet and delicious every morning to share with my favorite ponies."
>You're trying to listen but find it hard to focus as you approach the cottage that seemed to have nearly doubled in size over the course of a single day.
>"And so in exchange for a lifetime of baked treats Pinkie called in a few favors to have the cottage modified to fit the stove. I told them to change as little as possible and I think you're really going to like it."
>Anon is still grinning, but you and your Mommy are still awestruck
>"That's it, she's done."
>The construction pony's voice is rough and gravelly, but he doesn't sound mean
>"Good work guys, I appreciate it."
>Anon sets you down and turns to face Mommy
>"Shall we?
>He leads you both into the newly expanded cottage and you're thrilled to find that in fact very little had changed beyond the sheer amount of room.
 
 
>Your once simple home has grown considerably without much diminishing the modesty
>There were still only two bedrooms, but the common area had been greatly expanded and they now had an actual kitchen rather than a corner with muffins stacked to the ceiling.
>You marvel at the massive stove occupying one corner of the kitchen
>It looks big enough to bake three meals at once if somepony had a mind to.
>"Well? It's not bad, right?"
>Anon is still grinning but Mommy looks confused still
>"And... All of this is free?"
>Anon laughs and bonks Mommy on the head playfully
>"I told you, I'll be stuck baking muffins and bread and other things every morning to pay off my debt to Pinkie. Honestly not a bad deal, if I say so myself."
>Mommy's lip starts quivering and she slams into Anon for another hug
>You bounce over to them and nuzzle against Anon's arm for the briefest instant before he's pulled you into the hug as well
 
 
>You toss your signature hat onto the luscious grass and plop down against the trunk of, you guessed it, an apple tree
>Only a single sob escapes you as the tears finally come.
>You couldn't let anypony at the farm know you were this upset by Anon leaving, whether anypony will admit it or not you're the leader of the family
>You can't be a strong leader and weepy, it just didn't work.
"Darn it, Anon. Why are ya so thick?"
>You thought you'd made your affections for him pretty obvious but apparently he didn't get the signal
"Or... Maybe he just wasn't interested..."
>Your voice catches in your throat and you let out another sob against your will
"Applejack yer such a stupid pony..."
>You thump your head back against the rough bark of the tree to find that it's surprisingly comfortable
>The sun peeks through the branches above you, casting just a little warmth on your upturned face and you close your eyes for just a moment
 
>You bolt awake and find that you can't see a darn thing
>"Wha-?"
>Suddenly it dawns on you that you'd fallen asleep and that it was now nighttime
>You sigh, disappointed in yourself and try to focus on adjusting your vision to the low light
>You spy your hat and replace it atop your head before setting out for the farm
 
>The adorably gigantic bow in your mane droops almost as much as your ears as you sit with Granny Smith and stare out into the night from the porch
"What if she's hurt Granny?"
>Granny smiles down at you warmly and rocks gently back and forth in her rocker
>"Ah reckon she'll be fine, sweet pea. Applejack ain't no city pony and this here ain't no Everfree Forest. Just try to relax a bit and she'll be back before ya know it."
>You can't help but doubt her as your mind races with images of her somehow hurting herself and being unable to make it home
"Ah think we should go lo-"
>Granny's weathered old hoof touches your shoulder reassuringly, silencing your anxiety for now
"Ah hope yer right, Granny.."
 
>You can see Granny Smith sitting alone on the porch in her rocker and you mumble to yourself
"Ah should've guessed..."
>You take a deep breath, straighten your favorite hat and ready yourself before making your way to the porch
>"Welcome home, Sugar cube."
>You smile in spite of your current situation
>Granny's warmth and mirth are notoriously infectious, but it always kind of surprises you
"Thanks Granny."
>You let the silence fill the void for a moment before speaking again
"Reckon ya have any advice relevant to mah current predicament?"
>It's Granny Smith's turn to sigh as she looks up at the stars, her lips curled into a knowing smile
>"Ya love him?"
"...Ah reckon"
>She doesn't seem even a little surprised.
>"Well then ah reckon things'll work themselves out."
>You look over at her to find she's still just looking up at the sky, seemingly lost in her memories
"That's it?"
>"What's it?"
>She looks down at you, bewilderment painted across her face
"Nevermind... Ah reckon you might be right though."
>She smiles and looks out into the sky again
>"Some day ya'll learn that us old ponies usually are, sugar cube."
>The silence that follows is somehow relaxing and you find you don't want to break it
>"Ah was worried poor Applebloom would worry herself ta death waitin' for ya."
>With a sigh you stand and give Granny a quick hug
"Thanks, Granny. Ah really needed that."
>"Any time, sugar cube!"
>Her warm, toothless grin lifts your spirits just a bit more and you head upstairs to check on Applebloom
 
>Applebloom is sprawled out on her bed, snoring noisily and you can't help but chuckle
>The sound is enough to wake her and she bolts upright
>"Applejack!"
"Woah, settle down filly. Ah'm fine."
>You move to the bed and sit beside her, pulling her into a hug
"Ah'm sorry ah worried ya, sugar cube. Ah won't disappear for so long again."
>She looks up at you, her bow askew and her mane a mess from her nap
>"Ya better not, ah thought ah was gonna have to take over some of yer chores!"
>You chuckle, her parental tone of voice only amplifying the cute she's radiating
>The two of you sit quietly and comfort each other for a time before you stand back up and make for the door.
>"Ah love ya, Applejack. We all do."
>You stop and turn back to her and the look of sincere adoration on her face makes the pain of the day seem so much smaller than it had seemed just a few minutes ago
"Ah know, sugar cube. Ah love ya'll too."
 
 
>With a yawn you sit up and swing your feet over the edge of the couch as you smack your lips a couple times.
>You groggily get to your feet and move into the kitchen, tossing some wood into the stove and setting about making some coffee
>The sun is just moments from creeping over the horizon and the world is veiled in a tranquility that is refreshing to the very core of your being
>As the scent of strong coffee fills the kitchen you get to work on the banana bread you'd planned to make for your first morning on the job
>Funny, you hadn't thought about it but this really is your job now. Maybe you could work out some kind of deal with the Cakes through Pinkie to sell specialty baked goods at Sugarcube Corner
>You ponder this while you cook and before long the entire cottage is filled with the delicious scent of fresh baked banana bread
"Dinky, Derpy!"
>You call out to them softly, not wanting to wake them rudely
"..."
>You decide to peek into Derpy's room and are met with something you'll not forget until the day you die.
>Derpy has a pillow caught in a death-hug and is nuzzling it in her sleep, mumbling softly and drooling just a tiny bit
>Biting back your laughter you can't resist sneaking in closer to find out what she's saying
>You lean in close to her face and listen intently
>"Hmmfrfff.... mm... Anon..."
>You weigh your options only briefly before slipping into her bed behind her and wrapping your arms around her.
>She smiles in her sleep and you nuzzle against her neck, pecking her cheek softly and whispering
"Wake up, Derpy..."
>She snaps awake and leaps out of bed instantaneously
>"ANON? I wasn't dreaming anything!"
>The blush in her cheeks doesn't lend itself well to the lie she just tried to sell you, but you forgive her
>You're finding more and more that this pony and her precious filly can do no wrong in your eyes
"Mornin' Derpy. I made breakfast!"
>You hop out of bed, ignoring her embarrassment and heading for the kitchen
>"M-morning..."
 
 
>You find Dinky standing in the doorway, a smirk on her face like she'd just caught you with your hand in the cookie jar
"Mornin' Dinky."
>You smile and shuffle past her, hoping she won't make a thing of this
>"I saw you cuddling Mommy!"
>She's beaming as she hops up on the back of the couch for a better vantage point while she gloats
>"Dinky! Anon was just... He was just..."
>You can see her scrambling for excuses and save her the trouble
"Yeah, I cuddled your mom. If you recall I cuddled both of you all night not so long ago."
>You adopt a smug smirk and ruffle the filly's mane before fetching Derpy and Dinky each a fresh muffin and slice of banana bread.
>"Well, yeah, but..."
>Dinky's face twists in concentration for a bit before she simply shrugs
>"I got nothin'."
>You can't help but laugh as her and Derpy tear into the food you made them
 
>After breakfast the three of you have time to actually just sit and talk for a while before Derpy heads out to deliver the mail.
"Be careful, Derpy!"
>You call after her and she turns to wave
>You wince when she comes within inches of smashing into a tree because she turned around
>You turn to Dinky, grinning
"Ready for school?"
>She doesn't look very excited, but you can understand. It was silly to think she'd be over something like that so quickly.
>You pick her up and let her ride on your shoulders all the way to the schoolhouse
>The entire time you're wracking your brain for some way to help with her problem at school
>On top of that an adorable little voice with a southern drawl keeps reminding you that you owe Applebloom a proper explanation and an invitation to stop by for breakfast any time