This is the first shit I ever wrote. A few anons seem to like it, but I personally find it pretty cringe worthy. I'd been posting it as I went, winging the entire shitshow while I rode high on the flood of my autism unbound. As a result of this the story kinda pisses in the face of proper pacing and character development. I can tell you that the formatting and POV switching nightmares present in this chapter are handled slightly better in the final two parts. But then the ending is shit. So, I guess just go read some of my other shit, most of it is marginally more acceptable than this. Maybe not the Spike and Anon stuff, but fuck you I think that shit's funny.
 
Enjoy the story, friendo
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The following parts were written by an Anon using the name Bugs Fuggy
 
>Mommy. Do you ever think that I'll have a daddy?
>Because I really like Anon, Mommy.
>He's really nice to me.
>And I know that you like him too.
>Mommy...
>Can Anon be my daddy?
 
>Derpy was shocked by the young filly's words
>Truth be told, Derpy did like Anonymous a bit
>He was exceptionally kinder than most, and was really helpful to others without expecting any sort of reward for his services
>He also seemed rather optimistic despite anything that might have been thrown at him. (He was often ridiculed and often abused by many due to him being a human.)
>It had been along time since Derpy has had interest in any other colt, and the thought of Dinky having a complete family, both parental figures and all, always brought Derpy to tears, since it was the one thing she could never be able to give to her daughter
>"Huh, mommy?"
>The young filly looked up to Derpy
>"Could Anon be my Daddy?"
"I-I don't know, Sweetie. It's something that's not um, up to me, that would have to been Anon's decision.
>"Oh...Okay!"
>Dinky stood up and shaked her head
"Honey..?"
>"I'll just ask him!"
>She began to run off into town.
 
"No, wait, Honey!"
>Get up to run after her
>Dinky is quite the energetic one, she is almost out of sight in mere seconds
>Better catch up quickly
>You decide to fly, as it would be faster
>You crash 3 times before arriving into PonyVille
>Your daughter is not to be seen.
>Where do you begin your search?
>Anon lives with the Apple family, but him being there is not a guarenteed thing, since he does a lot of random work for many people in this town
 
After this part I picked up the story.
 
>You are Derpy
>Realizing you don't know where else to go you fly as fast as you can to Sweet Apple Acres
>The anxiety building in you seems to somehow improve your ability to fly straight and you manage to make it to the orchard with only 3 major accidents
>As you approach the modest, welcoming homestead you can hear the happy sounds of a large family sitting down to a meal
 
>You are Anon
>You're walking back to the house after having completed your chores at the outer edge of the orchard.
>Your stomach growls with a hunger that only a hard day's work can produce
>You smile and reflect on your time since arriving in Equestria, something you've been doing less and less since Applejack invited you to live with the Apple family
>Looking up at the twilight sky you sigh contentedly.
>You see a familiar gray pegasi flying overhead, clumsily blasting through the occasional cloud and shaking any clinging cloud-fluff from her face
"Derpy!"
>You call out to her and wave your hand, but she doesn't seem to notice you in her hurry
>You shake your head and chuckle
"That pony..."
 
 
>You are Dinky
>You run as fast as your adorable little hooves can carry you between the apple trees
>A huge grin is plastered on your face and it's all you can do not to giggle hysterically as you run to find your new daddy
>You jump over the raised roots of a tree and the excitement inside bubbles over in the form of a delighted Squee
>You just know Anon will be your Daddy, he's the nicest human you've ever met
 
>You are Derpy
>You touch down in front of the door to the Apple home, hyperventilating from both the physical exertion and the anxiety
>You knock timidly, barely even making a noise
"..."
>You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, even though Applejack had never been exactly friendly she'd never been outright mean either.
>Another deep breath and you're pretty sure you've steadied yourself enough to knock louder, though you still feel the tightness of the anxiety in your chest.
 
>You are Anon
>you're jogging now, hurrying to meet up with Derpy at the house.
>Suddenly a little gray unicorn bolts past you, the surprise causing you to trip and fall face first with a loud
"Shit!"
>You sit up, spitting a bit of dirt out onto the ground
>The filly that tripped you is standing nearby, giggling
>"You're almost as clumsy as Mommy, sometimes!"
>Her voice is instantly recognizable and you grin at her, forgetting that you'd just eaten some dirt because of her.
"Sup Dinky?"
 
>You are Derpy
>Just as you're squaring up to buck the door for your 4th attempt at knocking you hear Dinky's voice
>You jump up anxiously, flapping rapidly as you try to place the sound
>You think you hear Anon's voice from around the side of the house and hurry around the corner to find Anon giving Dinky a hug
>"Um... Anon? Can I ask you something?"
 
>You are Anon
"Go ahead, kiddo."
>Just as she's about to speak Derpy rounds the nearby corner of the house, looking rather distraught
>Dinky notices your attention shift and turns to see Derpy, her excitement temporarily overridden by the anxiety on her mother's face
"Derpy? You okay?"
>You stand up, scooping Dinky into your arms and walking over to Derpy with a smile
"Did you lose your mailbag again?"
> "No, Mommy finished her route earlier today."
>Dinky chimes in, nuzzling against your hand as you idly stroke her mane
 
>You are Derpy
"Uh.. umm.. No, I'm fine."
>You're having a very hard time finding your voice and you feel the warmth of blush spreading across your face
>You forget for just a moment that you're flying and drop unceremoniously to the ground.
>"Good, what brings you two out here?"
>You look up at him, holding your precious filly and smiling down on you warmly
>You can't feel any judgement in his demeanor, something you've become quite adept at over the course of your life.
"Oh.. Nothing."
>You mentally kick yourself
>Why can't you ever find the right words when you want them?
 
>You are Anon
>Derpy looks really uncomfortable, but you're pretty sure it doesn't have anything to do with her awkward seat on the ground.
>Dinky fidgets a bit and you let her down to run over and hug her mother
"Well..."
>An awkward silence follows and you can't think of anything to say
>You want to invite her in for dinner, but you know Applejack isn't exactly comfortable around her and Dinky
"Wait right here."
>You slip inside the Apples' home without letting them know you're back from your last few chores and grab a trio of Golden Delicious apples from the kitchen
>you return to find Derpy hugging Dinky tightly, tears welling up in her slightly askew but still adorable eyes
>"It's okay Mommy, I won't be mad if you don't want me to ask him."
>The look of concern on Dinky's face is so sincere your heart winces
"Ask me what?"
 
>You are Derpy
"Dinky wanted to run over here right away and ask Anon to be her new Daddy, but-"
>You choke on your words as you realize what you just said and who you just said it to
>The anxiety flares up and you start actually shaking a little, terrified of what Anon is going to think of you
>You clench your eyes shut and hug Dinky tighter, biting your lip and waiting for Anon to say something
>The thought of him suddenly thinking of you as a nuisance just like everypony else is just too much, and the tears flow freely
 
>You are Dinky
>You hug your Mommy as tight as you can, unsure as to exactly why she's so sad
>You steal a glance up at Anon, who still hasn't said anything
>He's just standing there, watching, his mouth open just a little as if he were about to speak
"Anon, please don't be mad. Mommy was just kidding, isn't she funny?
> You hope with all your heart that he will believe you so that you and Mommy can just go home
>You never thought Mommy would be this sad if Anon knew that you both liked him
>You just want to go home so Mommy can be happy
 
>You are Anon
>You're stunned by the sudden proposal, though you must admit you're not entirely put off by it.
>Dinky tells you it was just a joke and you snap out of your daze
>You frantically search for a way to explain that this is too sudden, too major to be sprung on someone so casually
>Realizing that this is Derpy, you relax a bit and plop yourself down beside them, offering them each an apple
"Well, we can definitely talk about it, but for now I think it's best to just relax a little."
 
>You are Derpy
>"Well, we can definitely talk about it-"
>You stop hearing him after that
>He isn't mad?
>He doesn't hate you?
>He isn't pitying you?!
>You open your eyes as he sits next to you and your filly, offering apples.
"Th-thanks.."
>Noisily sniffing back more tears you take the apple, the anxiety all but vaporized by his unchanged, warm smile
 
>You are Anon
>Dinky bounces excitedly as she munches her apple
>"So that's a yes?"
>She looks up at your with big, hopeful eyes and you can't help but feel like she's turning up the cute just a little bit
"It's a maybe, for sure."
>You ruffle Dinky's hair and meet Derpy's gaze (To the best of your abilities, anyway)
"I mean, we've been friends for a while now and the chores around here are killing me."
>You do like this silly pony and her filly, but you're not sure you like them enough to be the new Daddy in their life
>You take a large bite out of your apple and continue, a bit nervously.
"I mean, as if it's not bad enough that I have to pick the Apples one at a time, Applejack keeps insisting that I learn to applebuck properly. She says it makes a difference in how the apples taste, but honestly I think she's full of it."
>You keep eating as you ramble, not concerned with etiquette since you know Derpy won't care
 
>You are Derpy
>You take a bite from the apple as Anon talks, your spirits falling just a little as he explains that the answer is maybe
>You know maybe usually means no, but you're still just thrilled that it seems like he hasn't changed his opinion of you at all
"That's okay, it was a silly idea anyway..."
>You look up from Dinky to find that he's staring straight into your eyes
>Nobody ever does that
>They all look away, or look at your mouth and assume you think they're making eye contact
>You fall for him just a little bit more as the heat returns to your cheeks
 
>You are Anon
"It's not so silly. I mean, you're one of my only friends around here and I do kinda like you more than Applejack."
>Even if it is only because Derpy is so accepting of who and what you are
>Everyone you came across when you first awoke in this place thought of you as a monster and most of them still do, albeit not quite so loudly
>Even AJ hogtied you and dragged you to be judged by the Princesses the first time you met
>Not Derpy, though.
 
>You are Derpy
>You can't help but grin when Anon tells you that he likes you better than AJ
>Your heart is soaring to know that somepony likes you more than somepony else since to the best of your knowledge that's never happened before
>You start to speak but Dinky shoves your apple into your mouth
>Secretly you're a little thankful for it, you'd probably just embarrass yourself again
 
>You are Anon
>You lean back on your hands and look up at the sky while you take a moment to reminisce
"You remember when we first met?"
> Derpy appears to be thinking rather hard as she chews a mouthful of Golden Delicious
"You crashed into me when I was helping out Twilight with her letters to the princess."
>Spike had been given a week off of his slave duties and was relaxnig, so you'd taken over writing her letters and cleaning the library in exchange for a place to sleep
>Realization dawns on Derpy's face and you continue
"You crashed into me through the window and your mailbag had come open, flinging mail everywhere."
>In truth at the time you were furious
>The little purple pony had been nagging you all day about your handwriting and the proper use of punctuation in the letters
>You had just finished what you were sure was the last letter for the day and Derpy came crashing in
"I honestly thought you were yet another pony trying to attack me and save Ponyville from the wrath of the horrible, two legged monster. But you weren't. You just smiled and handed me some letters before you started putting the scattered mail back in your bag. Before that everyone had either been terrified or angered by my presence."
>You can't help but feel warm and fuzzy inside, recalling her grin and how she squared herself up in the windowsill before clumsily taking off to finish her deliveries.
>The letters hadn't even been for you, being new and being a monster nobody had ever sent you mail
 
 
>You are Dinky
>You can hardly contain yourself as the excitement builds inside of you
>As Anon tells the story you can see the affection in his eyes
>You keep munching your apple to keep from interrupting, but you're pretty sure it's safe to call Anon Daddy from now on
 
>You are Derpy
>You can vaguely remember what he's talking about, and it hurts your heart to know that you'll never be able to remember things as clearly as Anon seems to but maybe if everything works out Anon can just do enough remembering for the both of you.
>You swallow the last mouthful of apple and the fact that Anon remembers your first encounter so clearly encourages you just enough for you to scoot a bit closer to him.
"I could tell you weren't bad, bad things don't smell so nice."
>You blurted it out without even thinking and again you're afraid that Anon will be put off by what you've said
>He laughs and throws an arm around you, pulling you and Dinky into a hug
>"So you're saying you could smell me from the sky, huh?"
>He's grinning and ruffling your mane now as he squeezes you and Dinky
>Everything feels so perfect that tears begin to well up in your eyes again
 
>You are Applejack
>You and Applebloom are just finishing up the dishes and putting away the leftovers
"Where is that darn Anon? Ah bet he's slacking off somewhere again..."
>Applebloom giggles and hops up onto the counter, beaming
>"Ah bet he fell asleep out behind the barn again! He loves that spot!"
"Probably, but Ah'll have to go find out by mahself while you get ready for bed, Sugarcube."
>You shoo Applebloom off to bed and make for the door, just a little worried that maybe Anon had somehow gotten hurt out there
"Ah'll be back in a jiff, ya'll!"
>You head outside and are greeted with the sight of Anon hugging that mailpony that people talk about
"Uh... Anon?"
 
>You are Anon
>You jump a little and stand up quickly at the sound of AJ's voice.
"Ah... Sup Applejack, I was just chatting with Derpy and Dinky here."
>You feel strangely guilty, not unlike a new lover caught in the middle of a private moment
>You notice that Applejack is looking at you with a face that seems to suggest that she's terribly disappointed in you for something
>Derpy is obviously uncomfortable and backs away from AJ as if she were being threatened.
>"Uh, m-me and Dinky were just going home. Sorry to bother y-you Applejack."
>Dinky seems confused, obviously unaware of AJ's opinion of Derpy
>Her adorable golden eyes are filled with concern as she and her mother back away
>"Alright, try not ta forget our mail again tomorrow."
>AJ seems a bit huffy and quickly tries to dismiss your friend
"No, you're not bothering anyone Derpy."
>You meet AJ's gaze again defiantly, silently daring her to say anything.
>She opens her mouth to speak but thinks better of it, simply turning and going back inside
>The door closes a bit harder than normal and you, Derpy and Dinky are left in the cool night air
"I'm sorry about that, Derpy.. She's just..."
>You fail to make an excuse for her
>You've honestly never understood why she's always been so judgmental of Derpy.
 
>You are Apple Bloom
>You're watching out the window as your big sister talks with Anon and the mailpony outside
>Before she went out there Anon seemed to be really happy
>He looks a little angry now, watching AJ stomp back into the house and slam the door.
>You keep watching as Anon says something to Derpy and she flings herself at him, knocking him from his feet and giving him the most enthusiastic hug you've ever seen.
>You grin as you watch Anon laugh and wrestle the mailpony as a little gray filly you've met once or twice but can't remember the name of bounces around them excitedly
>They stand up and talk for a minute and you can see that there are tears on the mailpony's face
>You wonder why she would be crying when they were having all that fun but the thought is cut short when the mailpony launches herself at Anon again
>"Applebloom ah told ya to get into bed."
>AJ is standing in the doorway
>You can hear that she's not too happy about what was goin' on outside
"Are you and anon fightin'? Ah don't think he even ate dinner today..."
>You pout a little as AJ comes over to tuck you in
>"He's... He's just bein' silly, sugarcube."
>She doesn't sound angry anymore
>She sounds... Defeated
 
>You are Anon
>You're blasted off of your feet with the force of ten thousand hugs
>You laugh and stroke Derpy's mane as she sobs into your chest, managing to choke out a few words between sobs
>"Nopony has ever defended me like that before.."
>Her voice keeps catching in her throat and you can feel your heart swelling with affection
>You don't know what to say, so you just keep hugging her until she finally realizes what else had happened
>"Wait... Y-you want to come back to our house?"
>She's shocked, and looks a little scared
>Just as you begin to worry that you've overstepped some boundary by inviting yourself home with them she slams into you with another spine-shattering hug and more sobbing
 
>You are Applejack
>You are laying alone in bed... Again
>The house is quiet, save for Big Mac's snoring
>You toss and turn as you try and fail to sleep, thoughts of Anon and that darned mailpony racing through your head
>You've liked Anon for some time now
>Pretty much ever since Celestia and Luna had given him the okay to become a citizen until a way to send him home could be found
>Sure, you had been a little rough with him at first, but you can't be blamed for that! You though he was a threat to Ponyville and acted as any self-respectin' pony ought to
"..."
>You throw your pillow against the wall before angrily tossing and turning some more
"Stupid Anon.. Why'd ya think ah invited ya to stay with us?"
>You remember how bravely he'd faced his fate before the twin Rulers of Equestria
>He'd stood proudly on his two funny legs and didn't falter even once
 
>You are Derpy
>You are frantically trying to clean your humble home while Dinky distracts him outside
>You rush around, scooping up discarded muffin papers and a few pieces of mail that somehow made it home with you from work
 
>You are Dinky
>You are currently balancing on one hoof ontop of Anon's head
>Anon grins and laughs and does a funny little dance to try and keep you balanced
>The two of you manage to keep this up for waaay longer than you and Mommy were ever able to
 
>You are Anon
>You have a silly little filly balancing atop your head as you focus on keeping her up there
>At first you grin and laugh, but before long your face changes to reflect your concentration, your tongue poking out between your lips
"Think we can go for the world record for... Whatever this is?"
>Dinky's face lights up, wonder blossoming in her eyes
>"There's a world record for this?"
>You shrug
"If not we can set one."
>You grin again and she giggles excitedly, deftly switching hooves and resuming the balancing act
>Derpy finally throws the front door open and invites you into the humble abode
 
>You are Derpy
>You stuff the last few stray letters into the drawer of your nightstand and sigh contentedly
>You take one last quick look around before throwing open the front door a little harder than you meant to
>Either the bang of the door hitting the wall or your voice startles the two of them and Dinky falls
>You start to gasp, but Anon dextrously snatches her out of mid air and wraps her up in a hug
>"What took so long, ya hiding all the good muffins?"
>You can tell by his voice he doesn't really think you'd commit such a devilish deed and step aside to let him in.
 
 
>You are Anon
>You look around the small cottage, thoroughly loving the lived-in, cozy atmosphere.
>The cottage sits on the cusp of the Everfree Forest, a tiny beacon of warmth and comfort squatting before the dark, ominous expanse of trees and magic and who knows what else
>There's a small wood stove that appears to have sat unused for a good long while
>There's a wealth of boxes, presumably all filled with muffins, stacked neatly in what you take to be the dining area.
>There are two doorways that you have to duck through because of your bipedal nature, each of them leading to a bedroom.
>There's a worn, but extremely comfy looking couch before the stove and a massive pile of blankets in the corner
>You come to the conclusion that they have been living on muffins and depending on Mount Blanket for warmth
"How's about a little fire?"
>You snag a couple of pieces of wood from the pile near the door, ignoring the cobwebs
>Derpy looks nervously from you to the stove
>"Well... I've had some accidents with the stove so we don't really use it..."
>You can see her blushing
"Don't worry, it'll be fine."
>You can see the trust in her eyes and you set to work relighting the little stove for the first time in what you're pretty sure is at least a couple years
 
 
>You are Anon
>You're quickly discovering that being Dinky's new Daddy may be a lot more appealing than you'd originally thought.
>You sigh contentedly, Dinky snoring softly as a little bit of drool runs from her chin onto your chest
>You watch her sleep with a smile, truly considering the possibility of staying here forever
>"Anon... Thanks."
>You turn to find Derpy staring intently into your eyes, your arm still wrapped around her shoulders, hugging her to your chest like Dinky.
"Don't mention it."
>You aren't sure what she's thanking you for, but you suppose it doesn't really matter so long as you can stay just like this for at least a while longer, the three of you cuddling atop a pile of blankets with a couch buried somewhere within
>"No, anon. I mean it."
>You can hear the pain in her voice, the tears welling in here eyes yet again
>"Nopony has ever been a friend to us like you have. Even-"
>She glances down at Dinky, checking that she's asleep
>"Even her real daddy didn't treat me so well. I mean, he seemed to like me well enough at first, bur-"
>You cut her off with a chaste, but very meaningful kiss on her adorably quivering lip
>She stares blankly, obviously stunned
"Derpy... I like you. I'm not sure if I can stay forever, but it would definitely be a happy way to spend my life."
>She closes her adorably askew eyes and rests her head on your chest, weeping silently as you stroke her mane. You stay like this for a few minutes before you speak again
"I'll have to go home to Sweet Apple Acres in the morning, but I'm going to visit every day."
>Derpy looks up at you again, tears still clinging to her eyelashes.
>"I know, Anon. But I'm glad you're here tonight."
>You want to tell her that you'll move in right away and love her and Dinky forever and ever, but you know that the world doesn't always work that way
>You kind of feel like she might not believe you, that perhaps she's been told that before...
 
>You are Derpy
>The smell of fresh made muffins pulls you ever so gently from the best night of sleep you've had since you and Dinky still cuddled every night.
>You open your eyes to see Anon waving goodbye to Pinkie Pie, a steaming tray of muffins in his hand
>"See ya later, Pinkie! Thanks again!"
>He turns and closes the door, tossing a muffin to Dinky who manages to catch it in her teeth
>"Mornin' sunshine."
>He grins and offers you a steaming hot muffin, it's moist crumbly body eager to sate your hunger
"Anon, how'd you get these?
>You eye the muffin suspiciously
>"Pinkie owed me exactly one emergency tray of fresh baked goodies,"
>Anon holds up what appears to be a spent firework that's decorated with a serious-looking silhouette of Pinkie Pie and the words Pinkie Emergency Flare
>"What better time to use it than now?
>He plops down onto the pile of blankets beside you and munches on a muffin of his own
>You take a timid nibble of the muffin and your inhibitions are instantly melted away
>The soft, warm, sweet, moist, light, delicious muffinflesh fills your mouth and you swoon, falling lightly against Anon's shoulder
"Oh, man..."
>Dinky squeezes in between the two of you and you stay like that for a while, enjoying the last of the warmth provided by the dying embers in the stove.
>Suddenly it dawns on you that you're late for work and you jump up to grab your mailbag and hurry to work before your boss gets mad
>However Anon stops you with a smile
>"There's plenty of time, Derpy, enjoy your breakfast. After we're all done you can go to work and I'll walk Dinky to school."
>Your heart melts
>Not only has he provided fresh, hot muffins but a glance at the clock confirms that he's managed to wake you early enough that you can eat a couple of muffins and still have plenty of time to get to work
>"Isn't it great Mommy? We're never up this early!"
>Dinky hops around excitedly, stopping only to nuzzle against Anon's leg and grab another muffin
 
>You are Dinky
>Anon is making good on his promise to walk you to school, and you've never been so happy to be going to school in your life.
>He laughs at all of the jokes you tell him on the way
>Not the fake kind of laughing that some adults do either, which is even better!
>Once you're out of jokes the two of you walk in happy silence for a bit, probably only a few minutes from school now
"Anon, are you sure you don't wanna just agree to being my new Daddy already? I promise I'll be good!"
>He chuckles, but it doesn't feel as happy as it did before when you were telling him jokes
>"I told you, Dinky. I want to, I really do. But things like that take time."
>He doesn't look down, but you can tell something's bothering him.
"Well, I'm just gonna call you Daddy 'til then."
>He smiles, but it's sad and your heart sinks just a little
>"...That's fine, I suppose. But try to keep it between you, me and mommy for now. Okay?"
>Instantly you're reinvigorated and can't help but run in circles around his feet as fast as your little legs will carry you
"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"
>You grin uncontrollably the rest of the way.
 
>You are Anon
>You smile and call out to Dinky as she runs up to the schoolhouse
"I'll be here to pick you up at the end of the day!"
>She runs back to you and throws the fiercest little hug she can manage around your legs and you kneel to scoop her up in another big hug
>As she's running back to the door you notice a couple of little fillies casting judgmental glances at you and Dinky
>Your heart sinks faster than you knew it could.
>You turn and walk away from the school, trusting that Cheerilee will be able to handle everything from here.
>You sigh dejectedly as you replay the looks those fillies gave Dinky over and over in your head
>Before long you find yourself walking the familiar dirt road to the Apples' home
>You're not looking forward to this, but you know you need to address AJ's issues with Derpy