>Nice fresh air, a gentle breeze and Celestia's sun is finally not shining as fucking bright today
>However though your shirt is starting to stick to your back from all of the sweat you're producing
>Not to mention that you had thought it would be neat to wear a white shirt today, well now it is kind of dirty and see through
>"Whoa nelly Anon, you're treating your boss to a show alright!"
>With a loud groan and the usual rolling of your eyes, you turn to see the oragne coated mare wearing her famous cowboy hat thing
"I'm glad that you enjoyed it Applejack, I should start charing you thirty bits per second if you keep this up."
>Everday that you've been working here you've had this tiny horse perving on you and your sweet, sweet human body
>At least you tink it's pretty sweet, coming to Equestria helped you come to terms with your body, which has lost its slight muffin top since then
>You can even spy some small abs growing on your tummy, better cut down on the physical work then
>Being average is nice but you don't want to become too muscular, the middle is always a lovely spot
>But back to the present and the apple pony who is still staring at you, but now licking her lips, eugh
>"Now why would ya charge an honest mare like me Anon? I might just make this show of yours, your rent for the week."
>What's even worse is that you get to go 'home' to this mare's house and sleep in the attic
>You still praise Granny Smith's old person sense of reasoning ever since she decided to add a lock on the inside of your new room
>Not letting Applejack get close to you while you sleep, who knows what she might do, probably watch you since you know she ain't that dumb
"Maybe I should charge you for sexual harrassment at the workplace miss bossy thighs."
>Now it was your turn to grin as she looked disgusted
>If there was one thing you knew very well, was that Applejack was ashamed of her thighs, for some odd reason
>You weren't a pony convert yet, but even you can admit that she has some nice curvage going on there
>"Dang nabbit Anon, ya know real well how I feel about these things!"
>She pointed down to her hind legs but you couldn't help but snicker
>Serves her right, ain't no one gonna perve on Anon toda-
>"Why Applejack, Anonymous darlings, it is such a pleasure to see you two right now."
>Nevermind, fuck that idea right out the window in a shoe box
>From your right, and Applejack's left you both see the most elegant and classy unicorn of Ponyville
>If by most elegant and classy you of course mean elusive and catty, then yes
>You still can't get a good read of this bitch, and you've had a literal year to try
>The most you know is that she is supposedly generous, cares for her sister somewhat and makes tiny little horse clothes for tiny little horses
>"R-Rarity?! Now what in tarnation are ya doing on the farm?"
>Good thing Applejack still seems flustered by your earlier comment, time to abuse this advantage now and lea-
>"Oh why Applejack darling, I just need a moment of our dear Anonymous' time, I won't be too long."
>Damn this white unicorn with unnaturally curly hair,second time she's interrupted your exquisite inner monolu-
>"Now Anonymous, pardon my rather rude and sudden interruption of your duties, but I was under the impression that you are running out of clothes recently."
>Fuck it, inner thoughts about things were useless with this mare around
>But now that she mentions it, you did tell Fluttershy that you noticed a few of your shirts missing
>Damn you Fluttershy, your cute kindness must have compelled you to tell Rarity
>Resist! Resist next time Fluttershy so that you don't kill Equestria's only human with cuteness as he tries to give you a thank you hug like last time
>"O-oh? Anon's shirts are disappearing now? Why didn't ya say anything about it sugrecube?"
>Because you Applejack, seem like the most likely suspect of course
>Letting out a small groan you wipe your face full of sweat and squat down and lean against the tree, you figured this might take a bit
"Yes Rarity, I am having an issue of not having enough clothes, but what does this have to do with you?"
>And there's now a smirk on her face, why would she eve-
>Oh right, clothes maker, forgot that part
>"Why Anonymous think of the oppurtunity that is now almost hoofed to me on a silver platter, I now have the most gracious chance to make the only human some clothing!"
>She is practically shivering with excitement now, you can see her legs shaking too
>A glance at Applejack shows that she is biting her lip, probably trying to imagine you in some risque work attire
>Probably assless chaps, you wearing them would be a no go for sure, but Applejack wearing them?
>If she can perv on you, then you have every right to perv on her, it's just that years of keeping your libido hidden has trained you well
"So, will I get to design the clothing at least? I hope this doesn't sound offensive but I would not appreciate work clothes that feature feathers from every bird in Equestria."
>Her expression actually drops a little but she perks right back up and claps her front hooves
>"Why not drop by the boutique tomorrow then? You and I can spend the day gathering materials and designing you some wonderful clothing."
>That, actually doesn't sound too bad, luckily for her it is your day off
"Luckily for you Rarity, it is my day off tomorrow, so I'll be at your place sometime in the late morning if you don't mind."
>"It's a date then, I'll be sure to close the boutique tomorrow then, so that we won't be disturbed."
>The white pony bows at you and Applejack before she walks away, adding an extra swing to her step than normal
>Huh, she must be pretty happy to make you some clo-
>"Now why the hay would ya go and do that Anon?"
>Whoa now little lady, what's got Applejack's non-existant nickers in a twist?
>"How could ya just up and casually plan and agree to a date with one of mah best friends right in front of me?"
>Okay, when did the distance between you and the perving orange pony becoming nothing?
>She is literally staring up at you right now, well glaring would be the best wording
>Now you would take the sight serious, but you can't help but chuckle at how she is literally right in front of your groin right now
>"This ain't funny yah hear? Ah was gonna invite you to the pond tomorrow Anon."
"You were? Well I appreciate the concern Applejack but, as you already know I can't ma-"
>"B-But I was even going to cook us a lunch and if you weren't comfortable I was even going to invite the girls and the crusaders."
>Wow, it sounds like she is grabbing at straws here, why does this mean so much to her you won't be able to tell
"I wouldn't be able to make it anyway Applejack, I don't have any swimming trunks."
>"The heck is a swimming tunk? Ya don't need anything but yourself for a good ol' swim."
>Time to muster up the best deadpan expression you can, because you know where she is going with this
"Applejack, I will not swim naked with you and the girls."
>This time she seems to accept defeat but before she leaves she points up at you with a steady look
>"Now Ah don't want to hear that any shenanigans happened at Rarity's tomorrow, I saw ya first Anon and Ah don't wany any other girl to have ya first."
>And her hoof slides down your torso and yup, lignered over your crotch for a bit longer than it should have before she left
>Maybe you should see how many bits you've saved up, it would be handy to move out, as soon as possible
>Would be best to start looking tomorrow after Rarity's, who knows, maybe she knows of a nice neighbourhood that has no Applejack-like ponies
 
 
 
>Welcome to the interior of Rarity's shop/house/place where she eats, shits and sleeps
>It was spotless and well sorted, which was to be expected of the high class pony
>Although your attention is not on the look of the place, it is more so focused on the fact that you are currently standing in only your briefs as Rarity takes measurements and an unnervingly excited Twilight is jotting down notes
>It would help if she didn't get her face near your cock, accidental boners would really suck right now
>It would be a bit funny to boop her with it though, it would make you regret it later but for those brief seconds you'd be laughing
>"Now darling I know you are nervous but I must insist that you keep still, this is of the utmost importance that I get your measurements down to the millimetre."
>"Yes Anon, stay still for Rarity, I need you to keep still so that I can sketch a good diagram for this report to the princessess."
>Well fuck your arse and call you Govener Sinclaire, Twilight isn't taking serious notes like you thought
>Instead the tiny horse princess is licking her lips as she goes from drawing to eyeing every inch of your body
>Jeez, it is like she was undressing you, except you're already down to your underwear
"Look, when you invited me over for clothes designing I did not expect to be stripped down and examined by both you and the Princess of Magic."
>"Oh hush darling, Twilight was tasked with studying you and I invited her because seeing you like this would help with her reports to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."
>One roll of the eyes later you just begin to think about where you should move too
>Hopefully away from Applejack, you almost had a small heart attack when you saw what seemed to be her hat at the window
>She would have a fucking field day if she saw you right now
>It had taken half an hour, half a fucking hour but you were finally sitting down, comfortably in clothes again
>Despite how long it took to get your sizes Rarity quickly put together a few basic shirts and pants for you
>Twilight left soon after, her excuse was that she had to get the report ready and that hr wings were feeling sore, her wings were up the entire time she was drawing, must still not be used to those things
>So now here you are, with a newspaper and browsing through it to see if there was any places offering rent or board, but the peace and queit as enjoya-
>"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FABRIC ORGANIZERS! YAY!~"
>Does that bloody ability run in the family or something?
>You watch in horror as the door to the boutique almost bursts open, and three little fillies come charging in
>Just ignore them Anon, bring the newspaper back up to cover your face, you can't see them, they can't see yo-
>"Hey mister Anon! What you got there?!"
>Looking down you see the three little girls have for some reason forgot the reason they destroyed Rarity's front door and are now staring up at you with their big eyes
>Stop you're staring little girls, you might go and kill this poor human
"I'm just looking for a new place, and possibly a new job is all."
>"W-Why Anon? Don't ya like living with mah family and me?"
>No, don't look so sad, please little filly or you might just be hu- ah screw it
>You pick up the little yellow horse and hug her gently
"Oh Applebloom, there's no problem with you or your family."
>Except your older sister, who you are stil sure was watching you earlier
"I just think I need some space to myself to call my own, and not be a bother to your family."
>Applebloom looks up at you, some tears in her eyes but at least she is wearing a small smile on her face
>"C-Can Ah at least come and visit ya sometime Anon?"
"Why would I ever say no to you Applebloom? Of course you can come and visit me."
>You even nuzzle the little thing, which cheered her up greatly as she started giggling before you set her down
>And remember that there are two other crusaders there who saw the entire thing
>Clearing your throat you glance back at the newspaper and sigh
"Well I would invite you if I could find a new place and job, sadly most of the houses have been taken or is out of my price range and most of these jobs requires magic or flight."
>Curse these standards, you are a simple Earth Human who don't need no wings or horn to do simple tasks
>But now you're feeling very worried since it means that you might still be stuck with Applejack if you didn't find a place soon
>Leaning back in your chair you stare down at the Crusaders and heave out a heavy sigh as they continue to watch you
"I'm sorry girls, I didn't mean to make things take a sad turn, I just wasn't expecting to find nothing."
>The girls look to each other and then back to you, it looks like they want to help but what could they do?
>"Actually Mister Anon, if you really want a new place then I got a good idea!"
>Everyone turns to look at Scootaloo who is currently standing there proudly with a big smile on her face
"You've got an idea?"
>"Hey now! I can have good ideas too, and this one is really good!"
>Okay now she is just looking plain smug, what brilliant idea did this flightless pegasus come up with
>"How good are you at cooking Anon?"
>"Anon can cook real good! Have ya ever tried his pasta before?"
>Well you weren't going to toot your own horn but you were decent at cooking, had to at least learn that when you lived alone back on Earth
>"Excellent then! Don't worry Anon I'm sure that I can find you a job AND a place to stay!"
>Scootaloo huddles the ther two fillies close and they whisper amongst themselves before they all cheer loudly and leave the boutique
>Well, that was interesting, well you can't rely on a little girl to get you both of those, that would be ridiculous
 
 
>The Sun is has now gone down, now if you were to relate the Sun to being Celestia you might be laughing right now
>However the thing you see in front of the Apple Family house is making you feel anything but fun
>What you see is the lovely thunderthighed mare that is Applejack hauling in some kind of chest into the house
>If her personality was different then you would have thought nothing of it, but since Applejack has become more aggresive with her 'flirting' with you as of late you cringe at the sight
>The only thing that mare has going for her is her body, damn being stuck here for as long as you have has made you lust after the pony body
>Oh well, something more to talk to Psychiatrist Twilight then, she and the other Princesses might be happpy to hear that shit
>Swallowing your reluctance you wait a few minutes outside and out of sight before heading on in and quickly making your way to your attic bedroom
>No Apples saw you so you should be fine, getting in and locking the door you slump down on your makeshift cloth bed and groan
>Time to relax and spend the rest of the day nappi-
>"Hey Mister Anon! Applebloom, Scootaloo and I are here. We've got something really neat to show you!"
"I swear I might just go sew you and your sister's mouths shut."
>Grumbling low enough so that they don't hear you, you unlock and open the door for them
>When you open the door you see the smiling faces of the Cutie Mark Crusaders along with Applejack who is behind them with a smirk
>.............clever girl
>"Well howdy Anon, Ah didn't see ya come in, and the girls here just told me that they had to see you, some kind of Crusder emergency."
>"Yeah! Oh boy Anon, I have the greatest news for you, now I know I am not the greatest because of Rainbow Dash but I am pretty great."
>You just deadpan at Scootaloo, you already hear enough about how cool Rainbow Dash is from the mare herself whenever she comes to bother you while you work
>The only reason you haven't flicked her on the muzzle is because she keeps Applejack away during those long hours
>Seeing that you are not going to be praising her in any form Scootaloo coughs nervously
>"Uh well, yeah I guess I should say why I am great first, hehe."
>Clearing her throat you and everypony else in the room watch with varying degrees of interest
>For some reason Applejack seems the most keen on this besides you, the fuck does she think Scootaloo's news is?
>"Are you free tomorrow by any chance? Because if you are then I have the most coolest job for a colt like you!"
>Luckily Granny Smith was kind enough to let you have two days off, bless that poor, old and forgetful mare
"Yes, I am free, but I am just concerned about what this job is all about?"
>"Ah'd like to hear about this job Anon is getting too, this isn't going to interfere with his work at the farm is it?"
>And Applejack just had to be here, well the cat is out of the bag now. Time to just flat out tell her then and get this over with
"Well Applejack, I was thinking of getting my own place and a new job, it's not that I am ungrateful for your family's help, but I just feel like it is time to strike out on my own."
>And not live in the same house as a mare who can overpower you and is not hiding the way she wants your human body
>"Now that is poppycock Anon, ya should stay here with us, ya always got a job and home here."
>Nope, this here human has made up his mind and will definately get his arse out of this place
>"I say that sounds like a wonderful idea."
>You all turn to see Granny Smith slowly making her way up the stairs to the entrance of your room where you all are
>"I remember back in the day when a mare or stallion could go out and live their own life if they wanted to, why do you think I raised Big Mac the way I have Applejack?"
>Yes, you could kiss the wrinky old mare, you just might at this point consiidering the way she has saved your ass twice now
>"It's okay girls, if he does well tomorrow he can get a job AND a pace to live?"
"What do you mean kiddo?"
>"You'll have to wait until tomorrow Anon!"
>Cut to the next day, you're currently sipping on some coffee as you make your way to the address Scootaloo gave you yesterday
>You actually did give Granny Smith a kiss on the cheek when you left this morning, it was funny seeing her blush before she gave your shoulder a mean hook and told you to skedaddle
>Applejack didn't speak to you when you passed by her this morning, so things are already looking up
>Okay, so the next house over is hers then, time to go and see what it i-
>Holy fuck that is almost twice the size of the Apple family's Barn!
>This can't possibly be the right place
>"Hey Anon! I'm glad you could make it!"
>And here comes Scootaloo riding her scooter out of her own house and stopping in front of you
>"Heh, pretty cool huh? I don't usually tell other ponies where I live, I don't want to be like that brat Diamond."
>Okay then, this little filly has somehow become higher up on your list of respectful ponies than Rainbow Dash
"Holy hell Scootaloo, I wasn't expecting this, but I guess you're going to lead me to where this job is huh?"
>"What do you mean? You're already here, come on in!"
>What? this job interview is at her place? This is starting to feel a bit iffy now
>Nonetheless you are now entering her 'humble' home, the interior is nicely decorated, nothing too fancy but it still puts any other house you've been inside of to shame
>The floor is so clean you could eat off of it
>"Whoa, you're a big motherfucker aren't you?"
>Walking into the foyer, is Spitfire, leader of the Wonderbolts and the one mare that Rainbow Dash never shuts the fuck up about
"Uh hey there, I didn't know Scootaloo had you as a sister."
>Spitfire chuckles at you and even Scootaloo begins to snicker, the fuck did you say that was so funny?
>"Little bit of a flatterer huh? I guess that has earned you some bonus points then."
>Bonus points? Wait, your cunning human intelligence is telling you that this might have something to do with your interview
>"Now big fella, if you can cook and watch after my daughter as well as you look then you have got yourself a job and room."
>Wait, daughter?
"Wait, what do you mean daughter?"
>"Scootaloo honey, you did tell this Anonymous that he was being interviewed for being your foalsitter right?"
>Scootaloo looks away from Spitfire sheepishly and laughs awkwardly as her mother stares down at her
>"Well I uh, I was going to tell him but I got too excited and well one thing happened and then I went for a scooter ride and then, I GOTTA GO!"
>Realizing that she might have been in some form of trouble she hopped onto her scooter and sed off down a hallway
>Spitfire, who you guess is actually Scootaloo's mother groans and smiles wryly at you
>"So yeah, that is the filly you're going to have to deal with if I think you're capable and if you accept the job."
"Sorry, I didn't expect you to be her mother, and I didn't know that this was going to be a sitter job."
>"A sitter job with a swank ass room mind you, and don't worry about that sister comment, always good to know I still look young and hot, even to nonponies."
>Oh please, don't be another Applejack, you don't need another mare who is way too forward
>"Come on, follow me and I'll show you, I might uh, need to get a bigger bed just in case though."
>One small walk down a few hallways later you are shown into your possible living space
>It contains a simple bed and a door that leads to your own bathroom, the whole set up is bigger than the one you had at Applebloom's though
>But the bed is certainly big enough for you, maybe Spitfire prefers her employees have a bigger bed for comfort?
>"Well here we are, the kitchen is free for you to access but please don't make a mess or I might dock your pay big boy."
>She nudged you in the sides with her hoof, for a mare who just flies around she is pretty strong
>"And be careful of my cleaners too, those mares double as my security force here too."
>Well, that's good to know, time to add 'don't piss off the cleaners' to your list of new responsibilities.
>This job is looking more appealing the longer you stay here, look after a foal who still has school and you get a pretty nice place to sleep and free food
"Thanks for the warning boss, I think I might just take the job!"
>"You don't have to call me boss, just my name would be fine, good thing for me that I don't have to introduce you to the filly you'd be sitting."
"Wait, I actually expected a bit more, that is it? No testing my abilities to see if I can look after your kid?"
>"Scootaloo and her two friends spoke highly of you when they came to me yesterday, if you have her repsect then I'll be willing to give you a shot."
>Okay, it is official, Scootaloo is way cooler than Rainbow at this point in your life in Equestria
 
"One box hahaha, two boxes hahaha, three boxes hahaha."
>"Uh Mister Anon? What are you doing?"
>Sudden Scootaloo watching you place boxes into your new room, how did she sneak up on you?
"Uh, I was just, repeating the words of a wise old sage from my world, it's a sort of ritual we learn when we're young."
>Yeah, that's the ticket, just keep playing things off as a human thing and no one will question anything afterwards
>"Really? It seems a little weird to laugh like that after each one, don't you think?"
>Curses small horse with wings, okay just move on Anon, you can just divert the conversation and never bring this back up
"Well anyway Scootaloo, is there any reason you're here to see your sitter the day before he starts sitting on you?"
>"You're not going to actually try to sit on me are you? That isn't some kind of human thing to do is it?"
"What? No, I'd crush the life out of you with my fantastic human butt."
>You don't shake your ass at the young filly cause that would get you in trouble but you do let out a small kek
>"You're weird Anon, but like a funny weird."
>Yes, get a good impression of the human Scootaloo, he might even make you some stuff using that waffle iron that had his attention when Spitfire showed him the kitchen
"That's good to hear buddy, now I am just going to ask this just in case, but would I be required to accompany you when you go crusading?"
>"Nah! You don't need to accomba- accompapy, ARGH! You don't need to go with me when the girls and I go crusading."
>Ah good, means that you probaly won't break a limb or two with them, how they haven't broken anything is beyond you
 
>'You don't need to come with me and the girls when we go crusading' she says
>'We're only going to try to earn our 'human hunter cutie marks' they all shout in unison
>Be Anon, wait hold on, let's change that to be more appropriate
>Be a very disgruntled Anon on your first day on the job
>Where for some reason Scootlaoo invited her two friends over when they had no school
>It was nice to see Applebloom again, you even gave her a sibling like hug and pat on the back
>You're still a little indfferent to the younger sister of Rarity, the one known only as Sweetie Belle
>The little filly, much like her sister, keeps interrupting your thinking processes, so you've decided to keep a steady eye on her
>Ain't no on going to fuck around in your head or mess with your thoughts but you
>All four of you were in the lounge room, Spitfire had gone off to work early but she left a note saying that one of the 'cleaners' will soon be coming over, just in case
>Despite taking the job you had no idea how to actually foalsit for a small talking equine, let alone three of them
>And all three of them were looking up to you, expecting you to say something or even set down some ground rules
>So being the totally in charge man that you were you decided that you should get the most important thing done first
>Food stuff, seriously you've been too busy getting ready and preparing yourself that you skipped breakfast, and your belly is rumbling like Godzilla
>The three fillies however, with their bellies already sated for food all informed you of such and then proceeded to tell you that that was boring
>To which one of them, you can't remember who at this moment decided to voice a thought, "Hey, is there such a thing as a human hunting cutiemark?"
>That was over fourty minutes ago, you are curently resting in the kitchen now
>Even though it isn't a huge mansion, the girls would not expect that the hungry human had gone to the kitchen to hide
>"Hello there, helping yourself to a light snack are we? Fascinating."
>Well shi- wait, that voice sounded different, and not childlike in any manner
>Turning on the spot you are greeted to the sight of a mare with green and mint like mane colour with a similar colour for her coat
>This mare was also decked out in a fanciful black suit that covered her body and was sporting a pair of shades to concel her big eyes
>Shaking yourself out of the surprise of her sudden arrival you clear your throat and attempt to not look like someone who had just ate several toasted cheese sandwiches
>"I assume lady Spirtfire has informed you of my appearance today, I am Lyra, one of Lady Spitfire's cleaners."
>She speaks in such a calm and collected tone that you can't help but smile and feel a little bit safer, she is part of Spitfire's 'bodyguards'
"Well it's nice to meet you Lyra, you can call me Anon and I-"
>As you were speaking to ehr you extended your hand to offer a han- uh hoofshake?
>But before you could finish Lyra pounced forward and took hold of your hand in her hooves and seemed to be greatly fascinated by them
>"Oh colt! So these are the real things aren't they?! I mean I've maybe seen you once or twice in town and always wondered, but these feel soooo good to touch for real!"
>Okaaaay then, all manner or pretense that this mare was a cool bodyguard has been thrown out the window and stomped on as she is now staring quite intensely at your hand
>And why does it feel like the back of your head was hit by a net?
>Tearing your hand out of the cyan mare's hoofy grasp you see the Cutie Mark Crusaders standing there, all three of them grinning with pride
>Which would be rather cute if they didn't just 'capture' yo-
>"Yay! I told you the tiny net was a good idea!"
>I will throw you throw the wall little white pony if you keep interrupting my thoughts
>"Well I only said it wouldn't work because it's a net, and it's tiny!"
>"Stop bickerin' to yourselves girls, we done got ourselves a human to wrangle!"
>Well, as if that would be possible, the net is really only covering your face, you can still move the rest of your body
>"Sorry about that colt, I stumbled upon these three when I arrived and I was enlisted into the 'Human Hunting Brigade', no hard feelings I hope?"
>Okay then, scratch one weird cyan mare off of your list of ponies to avoid
"Uh you girls do know I can still move my hands and legs right?"
>To prove your point you try to distract the tiny horses with vigorous jazz hands as you slowly back out of the room
>"Hey he's right! Sweetie Belle you told us the net would wo-"
>"Uh Scootaloo? He's currently getting away."
>And that is your cue to throw the net at them and run away
 
 
>After several hours of running around and more than one occasion of you almost pissing yourself as the fillies jumped out from a corner
>Is this what your job is going to be like? Eh, it might do some good for your fitness
>You and the three crusaders are all currently lounging around on one of the biggest couches you've ever seen
>Looking out the window you see that it is getting close to the late afternoon
>Or at least you think so, you've never been good with time
>Luckily they all agreed that hunting you would not go well for them, well that was only after you bribed them to stop with ice cream
>So here you are, a human sitting with three fillies, all of you eating your own bowl of ice cream
>Although how there is an apple flavoured ice cream in this world still escapes you
>"Thanks a lot for playing with us Mr Anon, we had a lot of fun chasing you around!"
>Huh, the white coated filly who is currently resting her head on your left leg didn't interrupt you this time
>Special head pats for you Sweetie Belle
"Just don't make it a habit okay?"
>"We weren't playing Sweetie Belle, we were trying to get our cutie marks!"
>Scootaloo wears a pout as she crosses her forehooves, apparently she already finished her rainbow ice cream
>It takes you a moment to remember that you're meant to be her sitter, uh wait would an actual sitter get chased by the kids they're looking after?
>You shrug as you chalk it up to 'magical horse land' bullshit again as you just chuckle
>All four of you hear the front door opening, well three since Scootaloo immediately bolted to the door
>"Welcome home Mommy! It's so good to see you, the girls are here and we eve played with Anon a lot today!"
>Oi, what happened to 'getting your cutie marks'? Well maybe she can't lie to Spitfire
>You have to stifle a giggle as Spitfire enters the room with Scootaloo wrapped around one of her front hoovs, hanging on as the mare walks
>"I see my daughter and her friends had a fun day, however who said you could have ice cream?"
>Oh shit, she is fixing you a gaze that more than likely means 'you in some knee deep shit'
>"Hun, why don't you take your friends to your room and show them your new scooter? I have a few things to discuss with your sitter."
>All three fillies left the room, with Scootaloo talking very excitedly about her new scooter while Applebloom rolls her eyes a little
>"Ah bet it looks exactly like the old one."
>Whelp, now it's just you and the mare across the room from you
>Actually no wait, she's getting closer
>Oh hey Spitfire is directly in front of you now with a blank expression
>Before you could even speak she breaks out into a huge grin and pats the top of your head
>"Good work colt, not often I have a sitter who would go through the effort of playing with Scoots."
>Uh what?
"Uh what?"
>Spitfire just giggles as she takes the spot next to you and sighs, the exhaustion of her work day now evident on her face as she relaxes
>"Every other sitter I've looked at has usually been a mare or stallion who took one look at my darling daughter and sent her off to do her own thing while they tried to steal from me."
>Ouch, that was not what you expected to hear from her
>"But hey, a stallion who knows how to handle my daughter and her two friends? I'll say I've hit the jackpot."
>Don't blush and smile happily right now, don't let her see it, you can totally handle compiments and praise
>"Aww, is somepony blushing?"
>Fucking shit on a stick!
>And Spitfire is just laughing right now, heaving out a sigh and feeling slightly embarrassed you lean back into the couch and look at your boss/landlord
"Seriously though, I did a good job? From the look you gave me I thought I was up shit creek without a boat."
>"You did a fine job for your first day, and since you're living with us now why don't you come shopping with me? I'll see about getting yours and Scoot's favourites cooked for tonight."
>This causes you to laugh now as you stand up and stretch your tired body
"Sure mother, I'll be so happy to get my favourite treat tonight."
>Pleased with the amount of sarcasm you put into that you turn back and see Spitfire staring at you with a wide grin
>"Mother huh? Don't get too cocky Anonymmous or I might have to punish you."
>You just shrug and do one final stretch
"Uh huh, well if we're getting grub we better go now or all the stalls will be closed."
>As you're putting your shoes on Spitfire finally moves off of the couch as she watches you, muttering under her breathe
>"Hmm, I hit the jackpot indeed, and to think my own daughter brought him to me."
 
>Ah nice and cold air, you are so much better than hot and dry air
>A few of the mares stare at you as you continue to wear a wide smile on your face as you walk along next to a 'disguised' Spitfire
>She is literally wearing a trenchcoat, sunglasses and a hat
>"There's the human, but who is that mare he's with?"
>"I have no idea but I just can't seem to figure out who it is for the life of me."
>If that's how well the disguise works you might as well put on a fake moustache and pretend to be Celestia
>For all you know, it might actually fucking work
>Either way, first on the list of shit to get was Scootaloo's favourite
>Apparently the little filly was a huge sucker for a triple hay burger meal complete with rainbow hay fries, and don't forget about the toy
>How they hell they manage to get hay in the shape of a meat patty and how they cook it on a grill is beyond you
>Before going to get your food however Spitfire decided she needed something as well
>So now here you are, holding a kind of greasy Jolly Pony meal bag as you sit on the only chair in this sports store
>They should really add more fucking chairs to places like this for people like you
>Plus you're getting a few looks from a few of the mares in here, in fact there are only mares in this store
>You at least figured you'd see that roided up looking stallion in here
>Instead you just see a few fillies take the balls out of the shelves and kick it to each other, before they were stopped by the staff
>Soon Spitfire, oh sorry, 'Hotwings' finally came back and is holding up a pair dumbells in her wings
>Physics, physics please tell me why Spitfire's wings aren't completely broken if they're holding those things?
"You sure took your time Spi-uh Hotwings, do you really need those?"
>Spitfire just chuckles at your slip as she sets the dumbells down
>"Nah, just wanted to see if this store had any up and coming fliers, it's like a secret scouting thing we do in our spare time."
"You come to stores like this to scout? Why not go to a gym or running track? Or whatever a running track for pegasuses count as."
>"That's true but you never know when you might see a few pegasi who are pretty darn good at a sports store."
"If you say so, but is it alright if we can get going now? I'm getting bored out of my mind just sitting here and Scootaloo's burger is getting cold."
>"We probably should have bought that last huh?"
>Nodding in agreement you wonder why you both decided to get this one first
>Whatever, finally standing back up you see Spitfire turn the corner to leave the store, only to immediately come falling back, her hat and sunglasses falling to the floor with her
>You run to Spitfire and put the disguise back on, but you're too late as the pegasus she bumped into jumps to her hooves
>"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I can't bucking believe my luck!"
>"Urgh, I can't believe my bucking luck."
 
 
>Standing there, well standing but slowly rising into the air is the one and only Rainbow Dash
>And she is currently babbling about her idol or some such nonsense
>It's gotten to the point that she is speaking too fast you fear her lips might just fly off
>Oh if only they could, you can't really stand this mare for the life of you
>"HolybuckIcan'tbuckingbelievethatyou'reherelikerightinfrontofmeandohmygoshIthinkIjustcreamedmyselfbutIdon'tcareaboutthatsinceyou'rehereandohmygoshdidImentionthatItotallyloveandidolizeyou?!"
>Or maybe you might just rip it off yourself, it'd be like tearing into a marshmellow, soft but oh so satisfying to do
>Well at least you''re not alone in this ordeal, Spitfire is trying to ush the two of you out of the store but the Rainbow fan keeps following us
>Huh, now that you think about it, Spitfire's daughter Scootaloo fangirls over Rainbow Dash who fangasms over Spitfire
>Why Scootaloo thinks this mare is so awesome is beyond you, from what you know she is said to be the Element of Loyalty
>But again from what you've heard she's had to keep relearning what loyalty means over and over again
>So Scootaloo idolizes a mare who want to get into sports and she might be very unloyal to others?
>She should go into sports instead of trying to get into the Wonderbolts.
>"OhwaitisthatAnon?Areyoutwogoingoutorishelikeoneofyourcolttoys?Ohboywhatishelikeinbed?Nowait!WhatareYOUlikeinbedSpitfire?KnowingthatwouldgreatlyhelpmySpitfirecrossDaringDoofanfiction!"
>Or maybe even one of those auctioneers or people who read disclaimers in ads
>"Uh look here Rainbow Dash, I've actually got some important Wonderbolt stuff to take care of, can't show any of the fans okay?"
>Wow Spitfire actually cringed when she talked to her, but it seems Rainbow Dash is too lost in her excitement to notice
>But it apparently works as Rainbow Dash just nods and hops around on the spot before she squeals and leaves
>Did she fart? The entire place smells really weird!
>Spitfire notices the smell too as her nose crunches up something fierce and shakes her head
>"Sorry about that Anonymous, she's a little.......much."
"Oh I know, but I think I lost my appetite from all of that, I just hope that Scootaloo's burger won't smell."
>"Toss it, I'll go get her another one and get you something too while we're there, I know you'll be hungry for something later."
"Heh, mother's intuition? Well I'll take you up on that offer and at worst I eat it for breakfast tomorrow."
 
 
>It took you roughly about another thirty minutes before you and Spitfire arrive back home
>Upon entering the loungeroom you see a very excited looking Scootaloo sitting on the couch and patting it with her forehooves rapidly
>Unable to contain herself anymore she leaps off of the couch and snatches the slightly greasy bag out from your hands
>Not waiting any time she almost tore the wrapper off with her hooves, it was pretty interesting to watch
>Spitfire just lets out a soft sigh and hooves you another bag
>"I guess we're eating on the floor tonight, come on Anonymous, I hope you don't mind if I toss some hoofball onto the screen."
>Taking the bag Spitfire claps...uh clops? Her hooves together and within seconds Lyra is walking into the room, sporting a fancy black suit jacket with an undershirt that is the same colour as her fur
>"You called for me Lady Spitfire? What is it that you require of me?"
>Still a bit cautious of this mare you park your ass on the carpeted floor and see that Scootaloo is scooting on over to you
>"Oh boy Anon! I forgot that the game is on tonight, it's going to be so cool!"
>Five seconds later and you now have Scootaloo sitting next to you, almost bouncing on the spot as she takes a bite of her rather large burger
>Her face makes it seem like she has tasted pure happiness in the form of the burger as you hear a set of hooves walking out of the room
>Looking over your shoulder you see Spitfire has sent Lyra away and is now setting down her disguise
>Huh, now that you see it in this lighting she actually looks quite toned........for a pony, if that makes any sense
>Despite being fit she appears to have a lush tush, which both piques your interest and confuses you
>However though what you weren't expecting was to witness Spitfire casually toss the garments over to the couch and join you and her daughter on the floor in front of her rather large television
>"Feels so good to be home, don't have to worry about keeping appearances"
>Soon the yellow mare is lounging on her side with her ass pointed in your direction, not what you were expecting but it is her house after all
>"What's the matter Anonymous? Aren't you going to dig in?"
>Your eyes still slightly glued to Spitfire's flank you notice her wiggle it as she spoke before snickering at you
>"Yeah Anon! Come on, try your hay burger, if you love it I know you're going to love their pancake burgers too!"
>And thanks to Scootaloo you pry your eyes away from your boss' teasing rear and stare down at your greasy bag
"Stupid Sexy Spitfire"
>Muttering under your breathe you soon begin to eat your food as the three of you begin to watch hoofball
>Apparently Hoofball is just soccer, but with ponies, and the game is played on a three levelled playing field due to there being pegasi and unicorns
>Each team had three smaller teams, one for each pony race that would play on a different level and the score was the total number of goals scored by each team on the different levels
>The 'Ponyville Players' seemed to have a pretty damn good Earth Pony team but their unicorn section was sorely lacking any decent players
>It seems needlessly complicated to you for just a simple game of soccer, but seeing as how the different races would have advantages you figured this was pretty cool still
>Somehow in ten minutes of watching Scootaloo had migrated from the floor to your lap without you even noticing
>You hear Spitfire chuckling next to you, apparently she noticed the same time you did
>"Are you feeling comfortable in there Scoots? I didn't know you got so attatched to your new sitter so quickly."
>Part of you expected an embarrassed reply from the young pegasus but instead she just giggled and curled up in your lap like a cat
>"But it's soooo warm right here mum, I could fall asleep right he-"
>Did she just go from bubbling with energy to straight asleep on your lap just now?
>"Careful there Anonymous, don't move too much or you might wake her, although I'm sure if it was me there I'd stay awake for sure."
>And now you new boss is just teasing you like your old one, but for some reason you can't help but laugh at her comment as you softly pet Scootaloo's head feeling like you should talk back
"Are you sure you could Spitfire? I'm sure you'd fall lay down and fall asleep on my lap all cute like, just like Scootaloo right now."
>Your comment met with silence you briefly wonder if you said something wrong until you feel a hoof softly jab your shoulder
>"Haha, very funny mister, but as a word of warning Anonymous, if you don't finish your food you're going to attract ants into my place."
>Feeling a little bit sheepish the two of you continue to watch Hoofball in silence, well relative silence as the wrapper for your burger makes a lot of crinkling sounds
 
>Foalsitting Scootaloo, was a hell of a lot easier than you expected
>You had expected to have to act like a personal maid or butler for the little filly
>But instead you just had to look after her when she wasn't at school or with her mother
>So most of the weekdays were practically a free day just for you to enjoy
>You had gotten to know a bit more about Lyra as you chat with her at 'work'
>Well, your chats with her usually being having some snacks in the kitchen while she goes on and on about this mare she's into
>She was a pretty cool gal and you were chill enough around each other that you contantly make candy jokes to her
>To which she laughs, delivers a firm smack with her hoof to your shoulder and tell you that you should meet this Bonbon one day to see what she keeps going on about
>It would be interesting to say the least, would be a good excuse to chow down on sweet, sweet teeth killers
>Spitfire, has and still is like an anomaly to you
>She radiates that 'hot mother who you can't tell is flirting with you or just messing with you' aura
>You thought that shit stayed in fiction and bad pornos, then again you ARE now living in a land of talking ponies
>Not to mention that you had expected her to be a straight up asshole, considering how wealthy she was
>But she was very relaxed and was a good pony to converse with at nights once Scootaloo was tucked into bed
>You haven't seen much of Applejack since your move, although when you did come across her at the market she launched herself at you and hugged you tightly
>A little too tightly, it hurt like fuck but she still seemed upset that you had just gone and left the Apple family's care
>Although you were cautious she suckered you into coming over every now and then for dinner, for Granny and Applebloom's sake she said
>And it turned out surprisingly well, Applejack made no attempts at you, it felt just like the old days where Applejack was just a really good friend
>Still feeling well you were surprised when she offered to walk you back to Spitfire's, when you both arrived you were unmolested and still quite happy
>Applejack's orange coated cheeks turned as red as her brother's when you thought she would enjoy a kiss to her cheek
>That smile that she wore made you almost forget about the ways she tried to get into your pants when you lived with her.....almost
>Scootaloo had grown rather fond of you rather quickly
>More and more the little filly has been asking your opinion about things, getting you to read to her at night
>For some reason when she's not with her friends around you she acts like a little angel
>Now you wouldn't go as far as to say she looks up to you like she does Rainbow Dash but she holds you in high regard
>Speaking of Rainbow Dash...
>"Get back here and tell me what Spitfire's favourite food is!"
>She was currently chasing you while you were going over the past couple of days in your head
>The blue pegasus hasn't appeared since you and Spitfire saw her at the sports store
>While you were going for a walk to the markets to get some food she stepped out from around the corner with a glare
>To which she then graphically explained as to why she has been absent
>Apparently since she was inspired by her other idol Daring Do, she had picked up writing
>And not just any writing, the kind you'd find somewhere on the internet
>With some kind of main character who for some unknown or poorly given reason, is super cool and is totally popular
>The kind that was simply poorly written with plently of plot holes (heh), badly fleshed out characters and just the most unreadable sentences ever
>She even told you that her works are so 'awesome' that even Twilight couldn't handle them
>And by that she means that Twilight was not awesome enough to even grasp what she was reading
>If only you could slap her face with the writefag's guild
>But after she had gone into great detail as to why she wasn't around she now got around to why she was around you today
>She never expected you, or well, anyone who was close to Spitfire be someone she knew
>Proving to you that she knows jack shit about who Scootaloo's mother is
>And somehow the little fanfilly got it into her head that clearly you would know EVERYTHING about Spitfire, and she meant it too
>As you round a corner to try to get away from her you look back and see that she was already closing in
>"Oh come on! At least give me a hint as to what she wears to bed!"
>Probably nothing, cause ponies wear nothing almost all of the fucking time
 
 
>It has now been two weeks since you started sitting for little Scootaloo
>So far your opinions on quite a few ponies has changed and even then added some ponies to your list of friends
>Currently Scootaloo is at school but you have to go pick her up in an hour
>So for now you're lounging on your ass on one of the couches, it would be a restful moment of silence, but...
>"Oh my gosh Anon, you would not believe what happened to me yesterday!"
>While you're thankful it isn't Rainbow, having a mint unicorn lounging on your lap asking for belly rubs and talking REALLY loudly when you're right there is beginning to get under your skin
"Hmm? What is it Lyra? Did you finally work up the courage and get a chance at Bon Bon's tasty treat?"
>Your chuckle was short lived as Lyra softly hit you with a hoof, but she was grinning all the while
>"Hmm, nah but you were pretty close!"
>Wait, really? Everytime she talked about this mare it was usually 'she has a great butt' or 'gee I wonder how she keeps her mane looking so damn fine' or something along those lines and sometimes in between
>Your curiosity winning over the annoyance of Lyra's laying about, you softly stroke her exposed tummy
"So? What did happen? I'm pretty sure that I am dying to know of your escapades."
>You could see that she was aiming for another hit but the power of your hand on her belly persuaded her not to
>"Well, so there I was, doing my totally hip and cool thing of sitting on the bench like you do."
>You really want to point out to her that it isn't that cool but you hold it in as she continues
>"But then strolls by Bon Bon, she took one look at me and did you know what she said?"
"Uh, why are you sitting like the hooooooman?"
>For the life of you, you still can't understand why some ponies can't get pronouncing 'human' correctly, oh well more ammo for you to make them feel embarrassed
>"No siree, she asked me if I was comfortable sitting like that, after telling her it was fine she nodded her head and walked off, she was concerned for me."
>She is swooning over that? Oh honey, I hope you don't get crushed when or if you ask out your crush
>"As much as I love gossiping as the next colt, I'm sure that you have to get going and pick up Scootaloo, don't ya?"
>Shrugging you glance at the nearby clock
"I've got about another hou-twenty minutes?! Where the fuck did the time go? And why didn't you tell me sooner?"
>Lyra hops off of you with a certain cat like grace as she flashes you a shit eating grin
>"It's not part of my job description to help you with yours."
 
>Seventeen minutes later you've managed to book it from Spitfire's all the way down to Ponyville Elementary
>Right now you're stuck next to a few parents as they await to pick up their kid after school is out
>"Aww you seem out of breathe dear, would you like to partake of some of my water?"
>Still panting quite a bit, gee you certainly got lazy since you left the Apple farm, you see a stallion holding out a water bottle to you
>Smiling you take the bottle and take a few sips before returning it to its' brown coated owner
"T-thanks, I really needed that, uh sorry I didn't quite catch your name."
>"Oh how positively rude of me to not mention it earlier dear, my name is Filthy Rich, but a lot of the ponies here prefer to call me Mr. Rich."
>You find yourself staring at this guy with a deadpan expression, clearly you're still trying to process if this guy is filthy, rich or filthy rich.....maybe all three
>"Something wrong my dear? You look as if you've heard something awful, oh I do hope you haven't heard any of those bad rumors about me."
"Huh? Bad rumors?"
>"I'm sure you know the ones, the rumors that say I like to double dip my crackers into the dip, that I once ate a whole tub of ice cream because I felt like it, or even the rumor that I once bought sixteen scarves because it was chilly."
>Whoa little pony, calm down, besides who even buys that many scarves anyway?
"No, uh honestly those don't see like that bad of rumors to me, and I am still just adjusting to the names of ponies is all."
>For some reason this makes the pony smile wider than you've ever seen
>Part of you briefly imagines him unhinging his jaw and eating the school......that is a weird image to think about
>"Oh so you understand the struggle as well huh?! Oh I am so glad to finally meet some other colt who understands me the way I understand myself!"
>Now this guy isn't making too much sense, but then again not much has made to much sense in this land
"I guess? To be honest I've been here for only a year and I still learn new things about this place and the ponies here."
>"It's all okay dear, I know what it is like to be a bit of an outcast, not knowing what others are saying behind your back, if you ever want to talk about your feelings then just waltz your sweet behind on down to my estate."
>Filthy continues to smile and honestly you find it a little weird but at least he could possibly be someone you could vent to, if you needed to
"Okay then, thanks for the offer I gue-"
>"Hello Mr. Anonymous!"
>God dammit Sweetie Belle
>"Oh! Hello to you too Mr. Rich."
>"Hello Sweetie Belle, pardon me for asking but I was just wondering if your older sister has any news on all of those suits that I ordered?"
>"Oh yeah that? She's working real hard on it, she told me that she can get all twenty of those done by the end of the week."
>"Good, I was getting worried that I wouldn't have much of a selection to choose from for the function later."
>Sweetie just nods her head before galloping off down to her home, looking back to the school you see other students wandering out
>You see Scootaloo's eyes light up as she charges you
>Oh wait no, charging filly!
>"Gotcha!"
>Geez, she just rammed your shin and is just hugging it now, you could probably still be able to walk properly though
>"So this little filly is yours then?"
>Oh right, forgot about Filthy Rich over there
"Well I do look after her, ain't that right buddy?"
>"Hey Anon! Can we please get some more jolli pony on the way home? I didn't eat at all during school!"
>That totally answers your question but it does make Filthy laugh
>"She seems like such a treasure, reminds me of my little filly, speaking of which where has that little rascal gone off to?"
>Scootaloo finally takes her head off your leg and notices Filthy Rich, and suddenly her expression takes a sour turn
>"Uh Anon? Is it alright if we can go, like right now?"
>"Is that a blank flank I see? Urgh and what is that thing it's attached itself to?"
>Scootaloo starts...uh growling? At whatever it is that made that comment
>A small pink filly is walking towards the three of you, and judging by her choice of words you can immediately tell what kind of per-pony she is
>"This is Anon! You know the only human in Equestria who has just come to pick me up!"
>"Pfft whatever, I guess trash just pick each other up now, but do hurry along, your presence is an insult to all of my delicate senses."
>"Diamond Jeweled Tiara!" Filthy shouts, loud enough that everypony near you glances over as well
>And suddenly that high and mighty filly is staring at the ground, avoiding eye contact with her displeased father
>Groaning Filthy Rich regains his composure and gives you an apologetic look
>"I uh apologize for the words my daughter has just uttered, she just doesn't know how to interact with others properly, I just don't know who she gets it from."
>You just came here to pick up Scootaloo, you didn't expect to have her clinging onto your leg while a guy was saying sorry for his daughter being a little prick
[spoiler]>You never asked for this[/spoiler]
"Look, I think I'm just going to go now, things to take care of and all that, you take care of yourself Mr. Rich."
>As you were about to leave Filthy stopped you with a determined look on his face, for some reason
>"Nay! I must make it up to you my fellow colt, and I know just the perfect thing too!"
>At this point, you're shocked
>Shocked because you never thought you'd actually hear one of these ponies say anything close to neigh
>Apparently taking your shock as acceptence the brown stallion smiles
>"I just know that you'll love it, I'll be sure to find you later and give you the details, until then ta ta."
>Watching Filthy trot past you, you feel unsure of what just happened, considering that it all happened in the span of a few seconds
>Shaking your head you do the best thing you could think up of and just leave, with an equally confused Scootaloo still on your leg
>"Can we still get some Jolli Pony? Oh and we can probably go and see Rainbow Dash on the way there!"
>After your last encounter with that mare, you'd rather not be chased thoughout town again as she asks you weird and stalker like questions about Spitfire
>"Now Diamond, what did we tell you about saying mean things about others?"
>"To use our inside voice and never say it to their face?"
>"Good girl, however I think somepony has just earned themselves another lecture back home."
>"I was only speaking the truth...."
 
>The Sun is shining brightly, a little too brightly for your liking
"Fuck you Sun, why must thou hurt my eyes?"
>Asking no one you let out a yawn, stretching your arms as you sit on a bench, waiting for Filthy Rich
>You recieved a letter three minutes after you and Scootaloo arrived at home, which ended up with the letter smacking you right in the face followed by a "oops! I just don't know where the mailbox was."
>At least she didn't hit you with her rump, as bubbly as that thing is, you've heard of its' destructive powers
[spoiler]>She'd kill you through snu snu[/spoiler]
>The letter contained a meeting location, time and even a nicely set out list of all the possible things you two could do
>Some of the things sounded interesting but in the end you settled for going to the spa
>You never went to one in the human world and the entire universe be damned if you didn't want to know what it was like
>So now here you are, wearing a simple grey shirt and jeans combo, waiting for a stallion who more than likely could out-fancy you any day
>"Pardon my late arrival dear, there was a terrible amount of ponies milling around on the streets and it was ever so dreadful to have to get past them."
>Filthy Rich is nearing the bench, a somewhat tired look on his face
"You look like you need a pick me up, good thing I decided we should go to the spa eh?"
>Oh no, once it starts it won't stop for a while
>"Oh yes dear, not usually what I have in mind for when I hang out with some...one, but I can't disagree that a lovely trip down to the spa would help."
"Good, and before we get going I want to say thanks for inviting me out, you're a pretty decent fellow eh."
>Nodding his head he leads you through Ponyville, offering small talk about the business he runs
>Apparently the little pone has to organize and manage a single company that had many and all kinds of different departments
>How he isn't a cranky pony with a stick up his ass the size of Uranus is beyond you
"By the way, what is a spa like? I've never really been to one sadly so I don't exactly know what to expect."
>Filthy stops in his tracks and looks at you with a shocked expression, he looks as if you ran over his puppy and acted like it was nothing
>"You poor, poor colt, how have you never felt the joy and bliss that is a spa?"
>Taking his overreaction in stride you just shrug and continue walking, chuckling softly as he rushes to keep pace
"I guess I just never had the chance, or the money for that matter, stuff is expensive back ho-"
>You catch yourself before you finish, which doesn't go unnoticed by the stallion as he rests a hoof on your leg
>"Sorry hun, did I bring up something painful?"
>Smiling down at the little brown pony you just pat his head softly, to which he begins nuzzling your hand
"Nah, I just forget that this is my home now eh."
>God dammit, you thought you were over this habit
>Shaking your head as you wear a wry smile you both arrive at the front doors of Ponyville's only spa
>'Ponyville's House of Earthly Delights'
>..........Neat
>"Oh we got sidetracked earlier dear, spas are really divine, you just need to find the right ones."
>Beaming with pride Filthy holds the door open for you as you enter, only to see what looks like a blue pony arguing with a pink version of herself
>"This is the thirteenth, I repeat THIRTEENTH time I've found out about your 'bird watching' holes, our customers pay good money to be taken care of not to take care of your lust."
>This doesn't seem like one of that right ones that Filthy just finished telling you about
 
 
>Twelve minutes later, you and Filthy are laying down on a pair of massage tables
>After being caught having an argument by potential customers the two spa ponies essentially bribed you two with a free 'Godess' treatment
>You were all for it, seeing as how what would cost a shit load was now free, Filthy however did something a little weird but you have to hand it to him, it was pretty cool
>Going back just a bit, you are now Anon twelve minutes ago
>After they hastily explained the 'keep you quiet' deal you were nodding your head in thought but looking at Filthy made you stop
>He had that bizarre cartoon expression where his eyes were closed, he was wearing a big smile and there was a shadow being cast over his eyes somehow
>It was kind of scary that you are looking at someone doing that expression right in front of you, not to mention that seeing as how he has been nothing but courteus to you it is a bit shocking to see this side of him
>"Now darlings, while I love the service here, if I so much as catch even the tiniest hint that either of you are spying on me or my friend here."
>Letting his words hang in the air for a bit you glance over and see the two twins, you guess, shaking ever so slightly
>"Well, you should know who I am and what I am capable of."
>Finsished speaking he looks up at you as his expression does a complete 180 "where was I? Oh yes I'm sure that you'll love all the different kinds of things a spa can do for your body."
>So back to being buck naked Anon on a table, feeling a little uncomfortable in the dong region but you'll manage
>"I-I welcome you and extend our gratitude that you two chose to come to our House of Earthly Delights, where our all natural and old fashioned techniques and oils will release all the negative energy in your body, my name is Aloe and I will be serving you today."
>Looking up, you see the pink twin that was being yelled at, looking very shaky and avoiding eye contact
>Thinking about it, how is she going to massage you? Is she really going to try it with those hooves of hers?
>Don'twantnoneofthatshit.gif
>Besides, do they even wear the horse shoes you're familiar with?........You'd figured that you would have known this answer by know considering how long you've been here
>"Yes darling, while your gratitude of us accepting your deal is appreciated, my poor back and shoulders has been aching for a while now."
>Nodding the pink pone rushes to grab a cart from off to the side and wheels it over
>"Before you ask anything, I'll take the Swimming in Dough oil, and what will you have Anonymous?"
>Swimming in Dough oil? The fuck does that even smell like?
>"Hmm, well seeing as how this is my friend's first time here, how about Deliciously Unknown Oil?"
>The mare nods her head and begins to oil up her hooves to massage Filthy
>The whole past couple of seconds is just confusing to you
>Won't the oil stick to their fur? How the fuck do they decide the names for these things? And worst of all, Deliciously Unknown?
>Ican'tevenholdallofthesewhats.jpg
>Deciding to toss all of those questions into the 'fuck it, magic' bin inside of your head you just let out a sigh and shake your head
>Looking over you can't help but notice that there is a firm and pink coated ass directly in front of you
>Not that kind of ass, a pink donkey would be interesting though
>Seemingly having calmed herself down from her nerves earlier she hums softly as she massages her forehooves into Filthy's back as she sways her backside
>You however turn your head away, not wanting to make things awkward by either being caught staring at the masseuse's ass or having a boner as you lie flat on your belly, or even both
>It's been a while since you've been here and the lack of human connection has began to change your mind to accept the way these ponie's bodies look
>But you've known this for a while, part of the change began when you noticed that Applejack has some thighs that seemed to attract your eyes
>Nope, stop thinking about this sort of stuff, you're Anon, a person who really does not want a stiffy right now
>"Okay then Master Rich, I will be back with you in just a little bit. And to you Master Anonymous, tell me if you feel any discomforts."
>Oh boy, here we go
>And it feels....rather soft, as if someone is rubbing you with a giant and oiled up marshmellow, as weird as that sounds
>Unintentionally you let out a pleased sigh as this pony works her hooves all over your back
>What was several minutes felt like it could last forever
>Sadly you feel her hooves leave your back as she goes to work on Filthy, leaving you alone for five more minutes before coming back to finish you up
>"I won't lie to you, I was a little worried when I saw your physique but you're not so different from a pony, I hope you enjoyed it and I believe it is time for you two to head on down to the spa."
>Letting out a sigh you sit up and yawn
"Hmm, yeah I guess so."
>Huh? Why is the pink pony so quiet? And why is she staring at your.......
>Weird, you could have sworn you had a towel....that was covering your ass
>And she's not making any effort to look away, okay time to cover up
>Taking the towel you cover up Anon jr. and waving your hand in front of her face you proceed to point at Filthy who is still laying down
>Looking from the brown pony to you she nods and smiles, she's probably happy that you decided to not rat her out to Filthy, because it was partially your fault
"Hey Filthy, come on buddy get up I wanna try this sauna."
>Mumbling to himself the pony rolls off of the table and right onto his hooves
>Is he a fucking cat or something?
>"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Oh right yes Anonymous let us depart for the showers, thank you dear."
>Walking out of the room you look back at Aloe who is staring at you
>When she notices you staring back she giggles silently before pointing at herself, then to you and then proceeding to move her hoof up to her mouth and making an action that looks like a blo-
>And now you're speeding past Filthy to get into that sauna and away from that pony
>"Don't rush into it dear, you'll get all hot and sweaty anyway."
>You're not helping things right now Filthy
 
>Besides that awkward moment you had with miss 'bird watcher' you had a downright fantastic time in the spa
>You even told Filthy that you wouldn't mind going again, but you'll have to give it some time
>Want to spend as much time away from that spa so that Aloe forgets all about you
>She kept 'bumping' into you througout your time there and it wasn't until her blue sister dragged her away did you get to relax
>But now you're trudging along back to your workplace and current home
>The Sun was beginning to set and you could go for some serious food in your stomach right now
>You're so hungry you could eat a horse, heh
>"Well hello big colt, fancy meeting you out here huh?"
>Recognising that voice you turn your head to see Spitfire slowly sauntering over to you, the way she swings her rump from side to side looks a weird mix between sultry and silly
"Hey boss, finished with work I take it?"
>Reaching you she subtly jabs your leg
>"I told you to call me Spitfire, and well same old stuff really, I have to be that firm but caring instructor at the academy and I just wish that the cadets weren't always so obsessed with looking cool or awesome."
>You hear what sounds like a cough, startling the both of you as you look around yourselves
>Was someone spying on you two? Calming yourself down a little bit you exhale a deep breathe
>No, why the heck would anyony spy on you anyway, it was probably some passing pony
>"Uh Anon?"
>Spitfire tugs on your jeans and points into the clear sky
>Well clear except for one cloud, that oddly enough has a rainbow tail sticking out of it
>Looking at Spitfire you both share a glance as you both know what the other one is thinking right now
>"Well shit."
"Well shit."
>Staring up at the cloud you and Spitfire just stand there for a good minute before it starts to shake a little bit
>And you could have sworn you heard something like 'they couldn't have noticed me right? I bet they're just admiring the sky.'
>You kneel down next to Spitfire, sure it would send Rainbow Dash into a small fit but you had to whisper to her
"I've got an idea, a bit of a cruel idea but an idea nonetheless."
>Standing back up Spitfire hasitly nods her head which brings a smile to your face
"Ah boy, it's so nice that we can enjoy a nice and quiet walk without anypony disturbing us, it'd be even worse if she had a blue coat or a rainbow mane."
>Stretching your arms out you keep your back to Rainbow Dash as you say those words, grinning at Spitfire who looks confused but smiles eventually
>"Oh dear Anonymous, who would ever fit that description? I find it hard to believe that there would be anypony who looks like that let alone sounds as awesome as that."
>Thhe sarcasm is literally oozing out of your voices but knowing Rainbow Dash she's probably eating them up like compliements
>"OHMYGODNOREALLY?SPITFIRETHINKSILOOKCOOLANDAWESOME?NOWAYNOWAYNOWAYNOWAYNOWAY!"
>And now there is Rainbow Dash right in the middle of you two, cackling like a schoolgirl as she essentially screams her excitement
>You weren't expecting this, you thought she'd opt to stay in her little cloud mobile but no she is now invading your pirvate space with her fangasming
>At least she isn't chasing you around Ponyville and asking questions this time, you really need to sit this mare down with her friends and set up some boundaries and ground rules
>Don't want to get jumped by her at any possible moment in town or have her ask some weird stuff about Spitfire
>While covering your ears you spot some of the cloud still sticking to Rainbow Dash, feeling curious you poke at it only for your hand to go right through it and poke the pony's sides
>Geez, the cloud made your entire hand wet
>Feeling your finger poke her sides Rainbow shuts up and drops to the ground like one of those fainting goats
>"Uhh.....I don't know what to say right now, should we just leave her like this?"
>"You're so concerned for me Spitfire, I love you."
>"Nevermind, I'm sure she'll be fine on her own."
>Wordlessly agreeing you leave the blue pony who is still giggling
>"She also thinks I am cool enough to be fine on my own, she's sooo awesome."
 
>Be Anon
>Be brushing your teeth after having an amazing shower
>Now that you think about it, compared to what you got at the Apple house this place is much more luxurious
>Sure they did take you in and look after you, but a nice and long shower feels sooooo good
>Exiting your ensuite you toss your towel aside as you clamber into your clothing
>Casual shirt? Check, Casual pants? Check, now you're prepared for looking after Scootaloo and her destructive friends
>It was still eary in the morning so you have enough time to duck down to breakfast and get something to eat
>Despite living here for over two weeks these halls still feel very alien to you
>You couldn't imagine yourself in a luxury mansion if you could even try, it was just some far off fantasy of yours
>But now here you are, walking down to the kitchen which was about a two minute walk from your little room
>Here and there you see several of Spitfire's 'cleaners' going from room to room, cleaning up and doing general security business
>They're a lot better than those royal guards who stand still all the time
>As you walk past a few of them you feel a tail slapping your ass
>Well, maybe not as much better as you thought
>You would have turned around and gave them a piece of your mind but your stomach is calling out to you to feed it
>"Anon!~ Feed me~"
>Yeah, see? It is ca-
>Whoa wait, what the fuck?!
>Jumping off to the side you almost hit the wall in your surprised state
>Behind you was Scootaloo, rubbing one of her eyes with her rainbow coloured blanket as her Rainbow Dash pajamas hangs off of her loosely
>It's a bit too much rainbow for you right now, but at least you know your stomach isn't talking to you
>...
>....
>.....
>yet
>"Can you make me some hay bacon with eggs and toast Anon?"
>Well you were hoping that she would still be asleep but it couldn't hurt to cook up something for the filly
>Besides, how difficult could it be to cook all of that
>...
>....
>As it turns out, it's exactly the same as cooking normal bacon and eggs with toast
>Lucky you, looks like you won't have to dish out some burnt meals
>"Can you cook it any faster? I'm hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
>What isn't so easy though is that Scootaloo had pulled up a stool and was watching you cook very intently
>It was just very off putting to see her wearing Rinbow Dash related items
>You had heard a rumor that there was a time when she had merchandise but....well actually you shouldn't be surprised Scootaloo has some of them
>But now that makes you wonder if Rainbow Dash has any merchandise of Spitfire lying around somehwere
 
>You are now Multicoloured Quick
>You are abrubtly woken from your super awesome nap with a sneeze
"Whuba? W-Who dares make the great Rainbow Dash sneeze?"
>Being met with silence you look out your window and see the Sun starting to rise into the sky
"Eh, I've got about a few more hours, now come here Spitfire and help warm me up"
>Reaching out you grasp your hug pillow featuring your most favourite mare in the whole wide world
>If you had to actually admit it, she was more awesomer than you, but you'd never tell anypony
 
>You are now a shivering Anonymous
>You felt a cold and icy chill run up your spine
>That usually meant bad things were coming.....or that it was cold, one or the other really
>"C-Can I pop the toast in?"
>Looking over you see Scootaloo has her hoof hoisted above said appliance with two pieces of bread
>Past the point of questioning how they hold things you just wave a hand dissmissively
"Yeah buddy, just plop them on in and turn it on, I'm counting on you for them."
>She beams a smile at you and nods her head enthusiastically
>While she does that you stare back at what you are cooking, ponies can eat eggs which is really good
>The hay bacon has always thrown you for a loop though, they don't eat meat but make a meat based item out of hay?
>Then where is all the hay steak and hay kebabs? At least it smells like bacon for some reason, you hope it tastes like bacon
>But it couldn't taste like actual bacon.....could it?
>"So how long do you think until they're ready?"
"You asked me that a few minutes ago."
>"And you said that they'd be ready in a few minutes."
"Just give me a bit more time Scootaloo, they'll be done, you can wait for them right?"
>"Uh huh, of course I can dad!"
>Huh, well that was unexpected, and looking at Scootaloo she didn't quite mean to say that either
>Her face is as red as it could possibly be as she stares at her forehooves
>Ah you know that feeling all too well, once upon a time you could one of your teachers 'mum'
>But not wanting her to feel even more embarrassed you reach out and ruffle up her mane a bit
"Well that's wonderful to hear Scoots, would you kindly set the table up for us though?"
>Completely by her own free will, the small filly did as you asked, probably thankful you didn't call her out on the dad part
>One, two, three sets of plates have been dished out, well looks like you have to add another piece of hay bacon and one more egg then
>"Well isn't this a cute sight then."
>Looking away for only a brief second you see Spitfire at the archway into the kitchen, her mane was slightly dishelveled and she was wearing a warm smile on her face
>"Good morning Mommy, Anonymous is cooking us breakfast!">"I can see that hun, now go get freshened up for school, I'm sure he'll be finished cooking by the time you get back."
>Watching the orange filly jump off of the stool and race out of the room brings a smile to your face while set finish the first set of food
>"You know, that's a real good look for you Anonymous."
>Turning your attention to Spitfire you see her taking her spot at the table that seems too ordinary to belong to a rich pony
>"But I fear that is it missing something."
"Missing something? This is just my normal outfit Spi-"
>"Ah! I figured it out now, what you're missing is this!"
>Surprised that someone outside of Rarity's family had interrupted you, you gander at what Spitfire had in her hooves
>And she was proudly showing you a frilly pink apron with a giant heart in the centre followed by the words 'the fastest way to my heart is eating my food'
>Ignoring the badly written words on the apron you raise an eyebrow at Spitfire, whose prideful smile had started to falter just a tad
>"Something not to your liking? I know you colts always get so fussy over little things like this, but I had thought that-"
"And what was it that you thought exactly?"
>And then her expression drops completely, as if she had done something terrible or as if Rainbow Dash had right then just appeared under the table
>Glancing down reveals no sign of the Rainbow creep, so that's one possible problem solved
>Turning back to the food cooking in front of you, you set it aside to cook through a little more as you start to butter up the toast
>"Well, you see I had thought that, well not exactly thought but more like assumed would be the best words to use but I fear that that doesn't do it justice as we-"
>Don't turn around Anon, you don't want her to see the smile on your face right now
>The cool and calm Spitfire had suddenly turned into Twilight whenever you asked her the details of her 'experiments' she wanted to perform on you
>Better to just let this one play itself out, honestly you feel just a little bit bad for not liking that apron but something she said did intrigue you
>"And then I thought that, urgh! What I am trying to get at is that I have no idea where I am going with this."
>Well, it was short lived but you'll remember that for a while
"I have no idea where you're going with that as well Spitfire, still doesn't really explain the apron's design or why you even got one."
>"Well you know, all colts need an apron when they're working in the kitchen, it's common pony knowledge."
>Letting out a chuckle you just finished spreading buttery goodness onto all of the toast and placed each one onto a plate
>"And then again, all colts have an apron since they're more than likely in the kitchen you know, cooking food and such."
>Huh, maybe stallions are better at cooking than mares, which seems rather silly but since this is a place full of bullshit magic you won't cross it off of your mind just yet
"Well thanks for the apron anyway Spitfire but I feel quite confident in my skills to not need it, who knows, I might just wear only the apron one day for a special occasion."
>It'll be hilarious to do that naked apron trope to someone, hopefully by then you'll be with someone who knows your sense of humor
>Sadly you haven't really come across any mare here who would fit that descripton other than Pinkie, but her humor is not the kind you want
>Setting the plates down you take the garment from Spitfire and neatly fold it up
"Hey Spitfire, you alright to work? You're looking a bit red there."
>"Wha-Who?! Me? No Anonymous, why I'm just suple-bah! I mean I'm feeling you u-urgh! Celestia dammit!"
>Unsure if Spitfire is having one of 'those' moments you just let her get whatever it is out of her system and remain quiet
>Something you learned to do quite quickly whenever a girl back home was experiencing that, never hurts to have chocolate or ice cream on hand as well
 
>You are now the Sultry and Super fine Spitfire
>You are also not feeling all that Sultry or Super fine right now
>Things had started to go downhill when Anonymous called you out earlier, colts hate it when you generalize them like that
>Sure you had specifically ordered that apron just for him since you had hoped that he would be cooking a lot more
>It's a given that with how well he had taken care of Scootaloo in the past few weeks that he would be an exquisite chef
>Even though he had taken his sweet flank's time to get around to cooking though, his apron was hidden under the table the entire time until it was the right moment
>You are a professional, calm and not going to lie to yourself right now, but you ARE a perfect speciment of what a mare should be
>Despite a few exceptions most of the colts you know throw themselves at you, sometimes literally just to get a few seconds in your presence
>However this nonpony stallion in your kitchen right now had only reacted to your flirting with a quiet blush or an equally flirty comeback
>You're still not sure if he is either the shyest or teatsiest colt you've met
>And that was what was interesting about him, he's like a big cuddly teddy bear, just with a few pointy claws, that can sometimes hurt or scratch you in juuuust the right way
>And you thought you had blown it with how he had reacted, that was always the telltale sign that a colt was about to go in a very long speech about how unique or special they were
>Instead though he had just taken your apron and just flat out said that he would wear it naked sometime
>Normally you'd think nothing of just a colt wearing only an apron but something about him doing that causes your wings to really want to stand and salute the human
>At this rate it might as well be a salute followed by a wink and slight showers, he took you completely off guard with that
>Stupid sexy Anon
 
>You are now back to being the one and only Anonymous
>The final egg and hay bacon strip is just about to finish
>You had thought you smelt something funky just a few seconds ago but maybe it's just the way hay bacon smells when it's cooked
>"OkayIfinishedgettingreadyandevenputmyjammiesinthewashMommy!ButIeatnow!"
>Only catching the last couple bits of whatever the hell Scootaloo just said as she leaps onto one of the chairs she pounds on the table
>"Anon! Mommy aid you'd be finished by now, where's the foooood?!"
>Knowing you were safe from them seeing you roll your eyes before dishing the food out, leaving you the only one without any breakfast as it continues to cook
>In a minute you'll be good though
>But it seem Scootaloo might finish before your food does
>She is holdng the plate up and is just about to slide her breafast into her mouth
"Scootaloo, take your time or you won't enjoy your food okay?"
>The food came out alright but you want her to eat it properly so you can swim in the praises that is your average cooking
>She's pouting but she sets the plate down, staring at the assortment of the bits and pieces
>It's just a simple egg and hay bacon on top of buttered toast with a few slices of cheese you sneaked onto there with a dash of salt and pepper
>You were no expert in cooking but that little number made a great breakfast when you were running low on funds back home
 
>The Sun was shining up in the sky, shining ever so brightly, just like it always did
"Fuck you Sun."
>Shaking a fist into the sky as your other hand shields your eyes you wonder what was taking so long
>Scootaloo was all ready when she had came to eat but partway through she had to go and grab something
>Spitfire herself escorted you outside and you both came across Derpy
>Who was somehow flying ass backwards and was bumping her butt into you like a bumper car
>"Oh hey you two! I've got your mails right here!"
>Happy that every single atom inside of you wasn't destroyed when Derpy's rump bumped into you, you felt a little disappoined that there was no mail for you
>Spitfire got a letter though, however once she read it she immediately told you to wait right here as she flew back inside
>So now here you are, standing outside in the sunlight, and Derpy was still doing the butt to chest bump thing
>This has been going on for the last couple of minutes
>"Uh hey Anonymous, don't you like have a job to go and do?"
>Honestly you were getting a bit annoyed by her for a moment but when she looks at you with those eyes of hers and cute voice you just can't help but smile and pet her
>But this time you apply a bit more force to your petting to get some form of revenge
"I do have a job to go do, I'm doing it right now."
>"Oh! That makes sense."
>She beams you a smile and once again you two are left in companionable silence and bumping
>"Wait, is your job.....me?"
>Before you could answer her the door bursts open as Scootaloo hurriedly tries to put her backpack on, Spitfire is doing the final touches to some kind of suit she put on and Lyra is calmly walking behind them
>Upon seeing you though she gasps and waves
>"Hey Anon! It's me Lyra, fancy meeting you here!"
>She is literally a few metres away, doesn't stop her from yelling that for some reason
>"Okay Anon, good you're here! Oh wait, not good! You didn't even go and change!"
"What do you mean I didn't go and get changed Boss, you told me to wait here."
>"Doesn't matter, Lyra is taking Scootaloo to school today, right now though you're coming with me!"
>"Aww, but I wanna go with Anon to school, he lets me ride on his shoulders and I feel bigger than all the other ponies."
>"Sorry hun, your foalsitter can complete your power fantasies some other time, right now though Mommy needs him to follow her."
"And where exactly are we going? I feel as if this is something that wasn't on my job description."
>Despite the joke, you do wonder what's got Spitfire in a tizzy about, this is the second time today that she's gone all flusterd like
>"I completely forgot to write it on my calandar but there is a Wonderbolt party going on today, and that letter was the reminder, which is silly because who sends a reminder ON the day of the event right?!"
>Despite her swept back mane a few strands begin to go lose, before they are combed back by Lyra who pulls one out of nowhere
>"Thanks Lyra, what I mean though, is that there is a party, you're coming with me and I'm sorry hun but there is not enough time between now and then for you to get changed."
 
>Not enough time she says, you wonder if she knows that it takes you about five minutes to get changed
>Yet here you are, sitting on a 'special' carriage, just you and Spitfire for the last half an hour as you fly on up to Cloudsdale
>Apparently the party doesn't even start until another hour's time, it really does not take you an hour and a half to get ready
>So now you're just sitting there, your arms are crossed and you wish you could pout properly to show your grumpiness
>Spitfire has been silent this entire time, from what you noticed she seemed to be trying to calm herself down
>Well she does seem to be acting not like her usual self this morning, she's probably nervous about this party
>What kind of party could a bunch of pegasi who perform stunt shows and sometimes are called upon to try to save the world, have anyway?
>Beats you, part of you just hopes this damn spell they cast on you lasts the entire time
>No way in hell did you want to literally fall through the clouds, as cool as it seems though you'd probably die
>"So, I am sorry for my weird behavour this morning, I just feel a bit out of sorts."
>The first thing she says this entire trip is that, no don't worry, give it a bit more time she'll probably mention the whole changing issue soon
>...
>....
>.....
>Fuck it
"So, what was that about it taking too much time for me to change to get to this party on time?"
>Laying the passive agressiveness on heavily you face your head towards the window but turn your gaze to Spitfire
 
>When you heard that you were going to attend a pegasi party in the clouds with the world's supposedly fastest fliers you sure as hell weren't expecting this
>Everypony in here is dressed up fancy like, honestly they do look rather adorable in their little suits and dresses
>You had really imagined that since they were also like a sports team that it would be a bit....greasier in some fashion
>The only kind of greasy thing in here is that one stallion at the buffet is devouring that pie
>You spot some mares staring at him and wonder if they're judging him for eating in such a fa-
>"Do you think he eats out as good as he pigs out?"
>"Oh my gosh, you totally did not just go there Spirit, what if he had heard you!"
>"What the sexy lad doesn't hear won't hurt him any, but come on not even you can look at him just stuffing his face into that pie, and just wonder."
>"Well yeah, but not like I'm the one lifting her tail up and letting everypony know how excited I am about Soarin."
>Whelp, that was one conversation that you didn't want to hear
>Shaking your head you decide that since Spitfire had suddenly just dumped your ass in a corner when you arrived it wouldn't hurt to converse with someone
>Seeing as how he was clearly a lover of pie then maybe, just maybe you could get along
>Part of you is worried he's going to be one of those asshole sports players who think they're the top shit
"Hey there buddy, enjoying that pie of yours there?"
>Ah good, you've got his attention, oh how cute he turned to look at you but ended up staring at your crotch for a bit before looking up at you
>"Whoa! Sorry there my fellow colt, I like totally did not expect you to be like 'wow look at me, I'm a big fella!' but here you are!"
>He seems oddly chipper, well at least he seems friendly even with all of that pie still stuck to his nose...muzzle thing, horse snout? You'll remember it eventually
>"I'm Soarin! Lead colt flyer for the Wonderbolts! And I just don't reveal my identity to just about any pony or minotaur, you know."
>"Yes he does."
>Another stallion off to the side tells you in an exhausted tone of voice before he turns back to his conversation
"Uh huh, well nice to meet you Soarin, I'm Anonymous and I'm actually a human, if I was a minotaur I'd probably be in a labrynth or something."
>As you speak his pupils shrink and he almost jabs your leg with his hoof
>"Sheesh, easy with the racism my colt, if an actual minotaur heard you say that then you'd be kicked out of here faster than you can say catnip."
>Okay maybe this guy wasn't the best choice for conversation
>It would probably be a good idea to skedaddle on out of here
>"So what are you two colts talking about over here?"
>A mare this time comes sauntering over, she seems very......confident? You can't quite place it but that's the only word that comes to you right now
>"Oh hey Fleetfoot, wanna try some of this pie I got?!"
>"That's all good Soarin, the girls and I know just how much you LOVE your pie, so eat up."
>"Uh huh! I'll do just that, it was nice meeting you Anonymous my colt, but I've got a date with little miss tasty pie~"
>"And I believe we haven't been introduced, my name is Fleetfoot, I'm sure that if you're here that you must have heard of me."
>Oh hey, maybe you have found that asshole sports player you were thinking about earlier.
>Sadly though you're at a fancy party as Spitfire's plus one, at best
>If you cause a scene while you're here you might end up losing your job at worst, you don't want that
"Well hello Fleetfoot, I do not believe we have ever had the pleasure of meeting before, I apologize for not recognizing such a mare sooner."
>Jeez, talking out of your ass like this and trying to sound sincere was more difficult than you thought
>However she seems to buy it for some reason as she does her own little curt bow of her head
>"Well, I'm not normally one to toot my own horn but I AM the lead mare of the Wonderbolts."
>"No she's not" you hear a couple of mares from around the room say, causing the Fleetfoot to blush ever so slightly before regaining her composure
>"A-Anyway, I had heard a few rumors here and there about a strange colt in Ponyville, I didn't expect him to look so marely."
>What does that even mean? She's saying you look like a mare or some weird form of merrily?
>Honestly you don't know what to say to that, so you do the only thing you can
>Continue to stare at Fleetfoot as you pile food onto your plate
>For some reason she begins to smile wider at this and even giggles
>"So how did you get here huh? I didn't know that you were coming and I'm sure that I know ALL of the colts who come to these parties."
>She's leaning a lot closer than you'd like, considering that these ponies are head height with your crotch
>But as soon as her muzzle was about to touch your waist she immediately springs back to an upright position as she looks up to the cieling with a thoughtful expression
>"Well except for maybe Soarin, but all the mares and I agreed that he's off limits, that super sweet colt of ours."
>Yes that's right, keept talking little pony, soon this plate will be full of food and then this human is going to skedaddle on out of here
>"But well, that almost makes it jucier to go after him, hmmm I almost wish I could, the suit just fits him in all the right places."
>Well then, you were alright with knowing that about Spitfire but you weren't so comfortable knowing that about that pie lover you were just talking to
"Look, Flootfeet was it?"
>She looks taken aback by the mispronounciation of her name and was about to say something but you boop her little muzzle with a finger
"I was only with you for a few seconds and best but all I want to do right now is get my food and leave the buffet, do you understand me?"
>A look of realization dawns upon her, good thing she has the common sense to know when she's being annoying
>"Oh really? Well I'm not going to complain but that was way faster than expected, what say we take this somewhere private?"
>Okay now, you're no idiot, at least you'd like to think you're not most of the time
>But you're pretty damn sure that this little mare misunderstood what you said and is now flirting with you
>You didn't want to do this but you know of one small line back from home that might help
>Chuckling as pleasently as you could you pat the top of her head
"Nice one, sadly though I'm just not that into you."
>You swear you can hear a number of the mares around you snicker at Fleetfoot who is currently turning beet red
>Well hey would you look at that, your plate is now sufficiently full of food, now would be a good time to get out of here
>Not bothering with a goodbye you turn and walk away, this however caused some of those mares to burst out into laughter
>Now to do what you did best at parties, find a corner and eat your food away from all of the annoying people
 
>You were skeptical about it at first but now it had become incresingly obvious
>You could deny it no longer
>"Something wrong Anonymous? Oh do you want me to get you more food? Maybe I can meet Spitfire or Soarin along the way!"
>A rainbow maned pegasus sits next to you as you eat your deep fried potatoe, staring up at you with a huge smile
>This pony to your right was one stalker with a bit too much power
>You were enjoying some peace and quiet but she waltzed through the front door five minutes ago
>She had apparently found out about this and invited herself along, normally she would be kicked out
>But being an Element of Harmony meant that she was more than welcome to join
>"What are you going to see them for? I'm more than enough Wonderbolt for a friend of Anonymous."
>And in the left corner!
>Also sporting a blue coat but with a white mane
>Is the equally annoying Fleetfoot who had followed you to your quiet corner
>Now that you think about it, they're practically the same
>They're both pegasi with a blue coat, they also get on your nerves quite easily
>And if you remembered correctly it was said that the colour white was all of the colours......
>Oh no they're the exact same pony!
>You're stuck in literal hell as their voices soon become static in your head and your mind focuses on other things
>Like this food, such simple foods
>Oh how yummy they are, going down to your tummy
>Do you think you're screwed right now?
>Yes, and possibly a little broken from the experience
>"So I did this whole new trick that amazed everypony, it was the most awesome thing ever!"
>"Pfft! Puh-lease! I did that trick ages ago, I'm able to do that and even a loop afterwards for show."
>"I'll call you on that, if you think you can pull it off then show me."
>"Oh yeah? bring it, I'll prove that I can do it."
>Oh thank everything that is holy, Buddha, Vishnu, even that Izanagi guy
>They're finally leaving, you don't know who started it but apparently they're going to try to 'out awesome' each other
>Your mind slowly resettles itself, relaxed now that it doesn't have to deal wth that headache
>"Oh here you are Anonymous, so this is where you disappeared off to?"
>Looking up from your plate you see Spitfire
>She dumped your ass as soon as you both arrived and that's what she says to you
>However you're just thankful it's her and only here
>Holding back any irritated comment you just sigh and pat the top of her head
"You don't know how much I love you right now Spitfire."
>"Oh? I take it something happaned while I was away?"
>She parks herself where Fleetfoot was before jumping up suddenly, staring at the seat in shock before sitting on the next one
>"Okay then, uh who was sitting there?"
"Fleetfoot, why? Did she do something to the seat?"
>"Her huh? Yeah I guess you don't need to say anything else then, but knowing her she'd be trying to get you into the sack ages ago, where is she now?"
>So you quickly explain to her why and where she has gone off to, wanting to not spend too much time talking or thinking about those two right now
>Once you finish she visibly cringes and lets out a groan
>"Well then, I don't quite know what to make of that but I did come looking for you once I heard that you had embarrassed Fleetfoot."
>Oh good, so she was worried, to some extent
>"And yeah I guess I did just drop this on you without asking, you're not still mad at me are you?"
>Well, on the one hand you got to eat some awesome food and hang out in the clouds, on the other......
"I guess I can forgive you this time, but you owe me big time Spitfire."
>"Oh so it's Spitfire tonight and not Boss?"
"I'll call you that again when you've earned the right for it back."
>"Sure, and I know several ways to make you scream it out Anon."
>Her voice was dripping in sex, yet somehow it made you feel comfortable, unlike with Fleetfoot
>In fact, it tempts you, almost makes you want to mess with her right back even
"Like hell I believe that, sure you may have the mouth and body to back that up but not the drive."
>Once the words leave the smug smile you have you notice Spitfire chuckle loudly
>"Oh you're such a damned tease Anon, I'm surprised a mare hasn't come along and snatched you away yet."
"Well technically I live with you, so that might count."
>"Wait, you're living together?"
>"Wait, you're living together?"
 
>Well here you are, a simple human at a party in the clouds with a bunch of talking ponies with wings
>Sitting next to your boss/landlord/friend/source of occasional sexual tension
>While somehow the double trouble duo that is now Fleetfoot and Rainbow Dash stare at you and Spitfire with a mix of awe and surprise
>"Oh my gosh, I didn't even know you two had gone that far!"
>"Well, Spitfire isn't as cool a mare as me, but I guess I can let ya slide off of my radar for her sake."
>As the two of them talked you notice that they appear to be sticking their little chests out and showing off what appears to be tufts of unkept fur
>You stare at them with a confused expression before just shaking your head, it's probably just some stretching thing for pegasi
>You really wish that these two would't talk to loud, they're starting to attract attention and you're feeling a bit of second hand embarrassment
>Before you could even say anything Spitfire somehow manages to stuff their mouths with her two front hooves as she uses her wings to support herself
>"Hey now Fleetfoot and Rainbow Dash, just the two mares I wanted to see, why don't you two come out for a walk with Anon and I?"
>You understand shutting them up and you figured it would be quieter and easier to explain without all of the noise inside
>Shrugging and thinking that she probably has a reason for this you follow them all outside
>You shudder a little as your super fancy suit does not do much to keep you warm outside of the cloud building
>"So then, I guess I have some explaining to do then."
>Spitfire addresses the three of you with a nervous smile
>"Well, I guess it is really obvious and I shouldn't actually need to explain this but, Anonymous and I are going out."
>...
>....
>.....
>"What?!"
>You and the two cyan pegasi all blurt out at once, the three of you staring at each other in confusion afterwards
>Since when were you going out with Spitfire? Was there some weird pony custom that brought this about that you had no idea existed?
>That came way out of left field, which is something you never expected out of Spitfire
>Nonchalantly Spitfire moves a hoof up to adjust her mane, however she doesn't miss the chance to floof up her own chest fur for some reason
>"I don't usually tell everypony about it since Anonymous is quite shy about our relationship."
>You not really that shy, and also not in a relationship with the pony who gave you a place to live and job
>Looking down you see that Spitfire has Rainbow and Fleetfoot hanging onto each and every word of hers
>"Oh is he? I never got that kind of impression off of him from the short time I tried to fli-uh talk to him."
>"Is that why he always ran away from me whenever I asked him about you? He didn't want this to be found out?"
>Spitfire for her part continues her smile and spouts out more words to them as if you weren't right there next to them
>"He's just the sweetest thing, I helped him when he needed a home and it didn't take long before he confessed his love to me one night."
>On your part though you just stand here dumbfounded, why was Spitfire telling them all of these lies?
>Taking another look at the three of them you see that both Fleetfoot and Rainbow Dash are trying to coax more information out of Spitfire
>Meanwhile Spitfire looks as pleased as a pickle right now, soaking in every question and statement they say
>Ah, so this is some kind of weird power ploy isn't it?
>Some sort of top mare domincance?
>Hm, well then in that case you know just the right thing to do in this situation that would make everything go smoothly
>And it'll only take three simple words too
>Disregarding the story you walk up to Spitfire, kneel down and wrap her in a hug
>A move which startles her and a few of the other ponies who witnessed the scene
>Bringing your ear ever so closer to hers you gently blow on it before whispering in a harsh tone
"We'll talk later."
>Standing back up with a smile you see take note of a few of the bystanders making cute faces and going 'aww' at what they had just witnessed
>Spitfire however is wearing a look that just speaks volumes about how she isn't looking forwar to this talk you're going to have with her
>"Whoa, he even hugs you in public? you don't normally see a colt do that unless they're in a really good mood Spitfire."
>Rainbow Dash, now an expert apparently tells the pony in front of you as now your own smile grows wider
"Yeah, a really good mood, sorry ladies but if you'll excuse me I feel the need to go get something to eat again."
>Turning around and walking inside you don't bother looking back at them
>Right now you're just unsure of how you should feel
>You had thought Spitfire a more reasonable pony than that, you never really saw her act like that back at her place
>Sure it was something minor but it just nagged at you to see her so confidently saying those things that weren't true
>Heck was you staying at her place even something to be kept secret to begin with? It was mostly because she is technically a celebrity
>Did she say you loved and that she took you in just so that she can keep up some kind of appearance since she is famous?
>Do you even view her as someone to fall in love with?
>Sure you've stared at her a few times and she has messed with you back and vice versa
>But you don't even really know a whole lot about her to even begin to feel something like love towards her, at least that's how you think it works
>Love and understanding how it works isn't your forte sadly, but you sure as hell know what it feels like
>And Spitfire.....is just Spitfire to you
>"Da-Anon!"
>You're broken out of your mental monologue as you hear a very familiar voice before you spy a tiny little orange filly galloping towards you
>Despite the fact that she should be in class right now, seeing Scootaloo right now melts away whatever you were feeling earlier and brings a warm smile to your face
>Kneeling down you open you arms up as she literally pounces into your embrace
>You think that this isn't normal for a foalsitter to do but hey, she jumped into your arms after all
"Danon? I'm sorry Scootaloo but if you're looking for Danon you must have missed them, I think they left already."
>Scootaloo blushes in your arms and hits your shoulder with a hoof
>"I meant to say Anon okay? I just sneezed beforehoof, that's all!"
>Doing her best to look all proud and stuff she jumps off of you and onto the cloud
>"And I know you're probably going to say something but I got permission to come here!"
>"If by permission you mean you didn't stop whining to take you to this party so that you could hang out with Anon some more, then yes."
>Sauntering through the crowd, still sporting her black suit and sunglasses is none other than Lyra
>"Good to see ya big guy, I half expected you to be drowning in pegasi as they all tried to get your attention."
>You sigh and shake your head but you continue smiling as Lyra approaches
"Yeah, kinda seems that way, even Spitfire seemed keen on some attention, but I'd say she's treading on some thin ice with me a little bit, not sure how much I enjoy being shown off like some prize."
>"What do ya mean Anon?"
>Scootaloo stares up at you with her big ol' eyes, genuinely curious by what you meant
"Oh nothing much little Scoots, your mother just said some thing that didn't sit well with me is all."
>Moving back down you pick up the little filly despite her small attempts at getting away and you're soon cradling her in your arms
>"A-Anon, this is very warm...."
>Nuzzlin your chest Scootaloo snuggles herself into your arms and chest and very soon finds herself asleep in your grasp
"Well, that didn't take long for some reason."
>"Wow, I've never seen her fall asleep that fast before, heh maybe we should make you her personal teddy ursa as well."
>Chuckling you shoot a joking glare at Lyra before you pat her on the head, making sure to avoid her pointy horn
"I must warn you, I am a very high maintainence teddy ursa and if I am not treated with love and kindness then I will go on a rampage."
>"And I'll be there to stop you big guy, despite what some sunhat wearing knight in armour might say about it."
 
>The rest of the party passes by with you hanging out with Lyra and Scootaloo
>It didn't take long for Scootaloo to wake up, especially when you went back to the buffet to get more finger foods
>The party had no end in sight and you ended up staying until it was nearly over
>Most of that was Scootaloo sitting on top of your head and pointing things out and sometimes calling out to some of the other fillies and colts telling them that she was their ruler on high
>Which then degraded into you being a makeshit jungle gym for all of the kids at the party
>All of the parents that you were hoping were going to help instead smiled and made comments about how 'it seemed fitting'
>So there you were, with one filly kicking you in the stomach as she was trying to climb up your arm and a few of the colts at your feet and making little cloud castles
>Some of them were even bickering who was going to get to be Scootaloo's prince atop of her human fortress
>After some time though she had somehow convinced the other fillies to become her royal knights
>Which ended up with you holding your arms out to the side as they all kinda sat around and hung off of them as though they there were a bunch of birds on a power line
>Needless to say that your arms were dead for a while after that
>Lyra was off to the side, gorging on food and laughing at the sight
>You didn't see Spitfire until the party was dying down
>Apparently Rainbow Dash and Fleetfloot wouldn't shut up and eventually the word of you and her supposedly being an item was out
>She retreated a few steps back and gulped audibly when you glared at her
>Hopefully those camera ponies haven't forgot what you did to them last time
>All you did was say a few empty threats and they suddenly started saying you were a monster in their respective magazine/paper
>Which immediately stopped when Princess Luna had heard of it and had publicly declared that it was false
>Their credibility was ruined by one of their rulers and you earned a lot of respect for her
>She did request for a kiss on the cheek though for some reason
>You won't forget how she squeeled and ran off like a school girl in one of those cheesy romances
>Haven't seen much of her since then sadly, the unusual visit to your dreams when you needed it
>But you're getting off track with this
>The carriage ride back home was interesting to say the least
>Scootaloo had wormed her way onto your lap and had quickly fallen asleep again when Spitfire had started speaking
 
>"So uh Anonymous?"
>Spitfire sits across from you, idly poking her hooves together
>This entire day she's been acting quite differently, not unlike her usual cougar like demeanor
>The Sun had set long ago, you were at that party for a long time
>Which meant that you were the kids' plaything for a long time
>You can feel most of the bruises and bites on your body
>It was painful, but a lot of fun somehow, way better than if it was human kids
>Probably because ponies are way cuter than a human, at least in your opinion
>Honestly you haven't seen another human in a very long time, even though you see yourself almost every day you're starting to forget what other humans looked like
>Which doesn't bother you that much seeing as how most of your material now is-
>"-would that be okay Anonymous?"
>Oh right, Spitfire was talking, guess you got side tracked again there
"Sorry Spitfire, I didn't quite hear you, could you please repeat all of that again?"
>Perfect, no way she would be able to tell that you weren't listening at all from that wonderfully constructed sentence
>She does sigh and roll her eyes, muttering something about 'if it isn't about clothes' under her breathe
>"I said, now that the cat is out of the bag, why don't I add in a little extra and you pretend to be my special somepony, would that be okay with you Anonymous?"
 
>It is a rare situation indeed as you are now Spitfire
>Well things went teats up very quickly this day
>You thought that it would be cool if you bragged about being in a relationship with Anonymous to those two blue pegasi
>You know very well about Fleetfoot and her colt snatching habits, and you've heard rumors about Rainbow Dash chasing him around Ponyville
>At first you only said it to protect him in some way, hoping that it would make them uninterested once your showed that he was taken
>But your plan blew up in your face when they suddenly started to swarm you with questions
>'Is he a good cook?'
>'Does he brush your mane and shower with you?'
>'Will be a communal stallion to the mares of the Wonderbolts?'
>'Yeah! Rainbow here brings up a good point, why doesn't he become our manager?'
>'Is he very kinky?'
>'Does he preen your wings for you?'
>It had started innocent but it grew lewd way too quickly
>Not to mention that they were closing the distance between themselves and you rather rapidly
>But being the marely mare that you were, you had easily cast them aside
>Well more so pushed them away and said you needed space.........but you did it the marely way of course!
>So you had explained to them that you took Anonymous in and that he was looking after your daughter
>Hoping that you could dissuade them and convince them that nothing was actually going on
>Anonymous seemed none to happy with you and you wanted to fix that
>But the two of them were so set on the whole special somepony part that there was no way for you to change it, so you went along with it
>Making up stories of how he would put Scootaloo into bed before cooking you a midnight snack
>Stories of how he would run his fingers through your mane and teasingly along your spine and wings
>You spilled out all of your idle day dreams and they ate it all up
>Which made things even worse because you were attracting a bit of a crowd of mares who were all too eager to hear this as well
>It lasted the entire rest of the party, you being pestered by mares left, right and centre about your supposed lover
>You thought you could get some rest now that the party was over and you were going home but you forgot about Anonymous
>So here you are, twidling your forehooves together as you hesitate to talk to the tall, imposing human sitting across the carriage from you
>A single thought comes to you, a very stupid idea from a movie that you totally didn't watch one night when you were by yourself
>Now to work up your courage to propose it to him
"Well Anonymous, now that the cat is out of the bag, why don't I add in a little extra bits to your pay and you pretend to be my colt for the week, would that be okay with you Anonymous?"
>Oh you hope he accepts, the look in his eyes makes you worried about his reply
>"Sorry Spitfire, I didn't quite hear you, could you please repeat all of that again?"
>Argh! It was embarrassing enough to say it once? Now you have to say it again?
>Swallowing your pride you steel your nerves and repeat the offer
 
>Back in a more comfortable and bipedal form, you are Anonymous
>And did Spitfire turn into Edward Lewis all of a sudden?
>Wait, were you Vivian in this situation? While the Pretty Woman song goes off in your head you just stare are the mare in confusion
>Which is hard to do with the song now stuck in your head
>Trying to focus on more important things you lean forward in your seat as you address her offer
"I'm flattered Spitfire, but why bother? Normally I would take the money but you've been good to me, why go through all the effort of pretending to be in a stupid and needless relationship when we could just explain that we're not dating?"
>"S-Stupid?!"
>....
>Shit, you probably should've had said that part at least
>"Are you saying that being my special somepony would be stupid?!"
>She seems upset, but why would she be? Sure there's be some playful flirting going on but that's all
>There wasn't enough to build any form of relationship on
"Spitfire, is it really that difficult to just admit to them that I'm just Scootaloo's sitter?"
>Her faces goes red and she begins to stammer, upset and at a loss for words it seems
>Lyra, for her part is remaining silent, she's currently wearing her work shades so it is hard to gauge her expression at all
>And Scootaloo is still snoozing away on your lap, she's such a cute little filly
>"You're fired."
>..
>...
>....
>Huh?
 
>Things begin to feel very apple-tastic as you are now Applejack
>The farm and home feels a little bit lonelier without your favourite human eye candy around
>It was such a shame when he left
>You both know that you were checking each other out
>And yet that weird human wasn't accepting your marely and appley advances
>Even though he admitted that you have the best hind quarters in this town
>At least, you think he did, maybe one of your many dream Anons said that at some point
>But you've been toiling away on the farm, by yourself
>Working hard to keep those apple buns of yours ripe and ready to be picked by him when he's got over his coltish fit and realize how good of a caretaker you are
>You're good with kids, already have a job, can do most if not all the manual labor for him and even know how to cook up a fierce feast if his heart desired
>Instead you're hauling in the last of today's harvest, the Sun had set ages ago but Big Mac had somehow hurt himself again and you were left in charge
>At least it wasn't Applebucking Season or you would have been in trouble
>Trotting slowly out of the barn you lock up and stretch your legs, feeling how badly they ache from all of the additional work you had to do
>At least if Anonymous was around you could get a show and feel as if it was worth the effort
>But despite the fact that he left you, you are glad that you two met up and hung out some more
>It was like he had nevr left that night, everypony was happy and he even hugged you that night
>But once Big Mac gets better then you'll have more time and energy to work on going from Anon's mare friend to behing his marefriend
>But whoa nelly, you must be really tired because you can make out what looks like a fgure that startingly seems similar to Anonymous carrying two large suitcases
>You've been working a lot harder than normal if you can see your day dreams, wiping your eyes with a hoof you glance back to expect to see nothing
>Instead what you see if even more amazing, yet confusing as it really is Anonymous
>But he looks, angry, hurt even as he walks towards you
"Anonymous!"
>Despite what he may be feeling right now you sure as apples don't like seeing him with such a sour face
>He looks up as you call out to him, closing the distance he wears a wry smile as you stop in front of him
>"H-Hey AJ, sorry to drop in all of a sudden..."
"Ain't no problem partner, but what are y'all doing back here? I thought you had left for that fancy new job of yours?"
>He winces at your words and you can see him grip the suitcases a little firmer with his hands
>Normally that would be a tantalizing view, what with how much force he could apply with this hands and fingers of his
>But you're too worried to care about that right now, later was a different story though
>"I don't know Applejack, they....she fired me, over something so stupid!."
>You can hear what almost sounds like sobbing coming from the big guy as he continues talking
>"I was shown to my room and they packed all of my stuff for me within seconds and just as quickly I was out the door and with no home.....again."
>Oh the poor dear, no wonder he's upset, what mare in their right mind would fire such a stallion in the first place?
>He appears to swallow back his tears, bringing an arm up to wipe them away
>"I'm terribly sorry to bother you Applejack when it is quite late but I was wo-"
>Standing on your hind legs you put on hoof on his lips to shush him right up before leaning in for a hug
"It's alright Sugarcube, you're more than welcome back here, you're family and we look out for one another here."
>He says nothing but he eventually sets his stuff down and returns the hug silently
>You feel a little terrible for feeling glad that he was fired, but you'll do your best to make Anonymous happy
>And to show him that you're a much better employer and mare than the one who fired him
>You swear by your apples that this human will be yours
 
 
>The Sun is hanging high in the sky today
>It is the day after the Wonderbolt Party, when you were kicked out by Spitfire and when you were taken back in by Applejack
>That attic room was almost exactly the same as you remember it, funny thing was
>Was that it felt more secure and a hell of a lot safer than it did before you left
>It probably helps that Applejack wasn't literally grinding her 'good intentions' into you
>A small smile worms its' way onto your face before you stand up and shake the sleepiness off of you
>Honestly, you know for a fact that losing your home over something so stupid should be devastating you right now
>Heck it made you feel like utter shit and very pissed off at the same time
>But right now? You feel an almost sense of calm and belonging as you walk down the very familiar steps down to the Apple family kitchen
>"Well I'll be! If it isn't my favourite human Anonymous! Boy, where the heck have you been and why haven't you visited your granny in a while?"
>Waving a wooden spoon at you, you can't help but share her grin that she has
>"Now get your keister into that chair and get ready for some good ol' apple breakfast Anonymous."
>Finding it hard to argue with her words you take the seat you used to always sit at, it makes you wonder if they never got rid of the stuff you used when you were here
>Makes you feel a little guilty about leaving them earlier
>Feeling a hoof on your shoulder to turn your head and spot Granny Smith staring at you with a somber expression
>"If you ever need a home, somepony to talk to or even someone to hang out with as you young ponies call it, the apple family is your family sonny."
>Resting one of your own hands on her hoof you feel a wetness on your cheeks as you nod
>"Anon!"
>A loud and high pitched voice is all you hear before you feel something collide into your side
>"You're back! I missed ya so much, even though you weren't really gone I just missed having you here! You were like that cool older brother I never had!"
>"And who exactly are you calling an uncool older brother Applebloom?"
>Watching Big Mac enter the room he shoots a quick glare down at his little sister before he too comes over and pats you on the shoulder
>Despite the fact that he had just talked more than you've hear out of him in a few weeks he just silently nods at you before he takes his own seat
>Almost the entire gang is all here, you're only missing one member of the apple family
>Applebloom had crawled up and onto your lap and was now just hugging your torso, a determined look on her face
>"Don't worry Anon, when I get working and become strong I'll protect and care for you!"
>Aww, this little filly is just so cute
>Which actually brings another thought into your head
>How is Scootaloo going to react and feel about all of this?
>Your mood dampens as you imagine Scootaloo becoming sad when you're not there to take her to school
>Or when she asks you to allow her onto your head to let her imagine that she was flying
>"Well ain't a certain human up bright and early today? It's good to see you up and about Anon."
>Being broken out of your thoughts Applejack saunters into the room, a bright smile on her face
>It's hard to imagine that this pony was so eager to get into your pants a couple of weeks ago
>But now, seeing a friendly face feels so comforting
>Reaching out you slide your hand under her hat and ruffle up her mane
"And it's good to see you too AJ, you silly pony you."
>Her face scrunches up at your comment and the way you're messing up her mane before she brushes your hand away
>"Come off it Anon, you know how hard it is for me to get my mane the way it is sometimes."
"Well I could offer my services in helping with that, I mean I'm not really doing anything for a little bit anyway."
>The room grows a bit quiet at your attempt at a joke, even you thought that that was a bad
>After that breakfast passed in silence, but you still felt better, knowing that these kind ponies here had your back and accepted you
 
>It's been a few hours since you were at the Apple's house, which is now your house as well again
>You were dragged off to the Crusader Clubhour and are now witnessing something you never thought you'd see
>When she had arrived Scootaloo was elated and overjoyed and was more than happy to ask you to come back
>Applebloom however didn't like that last part and told Scootaloo that although she loves Scoots as a sister she didn't want you to get hurt by her mother again
>So now you are stuck between two fillies, each one pulling on one of your arms
>"He's my older and cooler brother! He's not going bac with you, he's going to stay with me and then I'll grow up and look after him!"
>"Oh yeah! Well he's going to come back with me, and become my sitter again!"
>Honestly you're at a loss for words, you had known that Applebloom had become attached to you and so did Scootaloo but you never thought that you were going to be the cause of a fight between them
>"Wait girls!"
>Sweetie Belle yells out, stopping the fight and getting the attention of you and the other two crusaders
>Thank you Sweetie Belle, for being the voice of reason and stopping thi-
>"If he's Applebloom's brother and Scootaloo's dad.....does that mean he can be my son?!"
>Fucking hell Sweetie Belle
 
 
>The Sun had began to set not too long ago
>The little fillies had a bit of a contest against each other
>Stuff like 'whoever wins this chess game gets Anon'
>Needless to say that it'd either end in a tie or something else interferred
>It was Applebloom and Scootaloo who were duking it out in games, meanwhile Sweetie Belle was treating you like a doll
>Brushing your hair, telling you that you were doing a good job
>It was stupid, you won't deny that, but it felt oddly nice
>As the minutes passed by the earth pony and pegasus had gone through every game and physical challange that they could think of
>It's getting late and the three of them are showing signs of fatigue
>How Sweetie Belle grew physically tired from using magic to brush your hair is beyond you
>But it's about time for the fillies to head home
>Same goes for you, it's a bit sombering when you have to remember that you don't get to go home with Scootaloo
>She must be thinking the same thing because she also looks down and saddened by this
>"Ah know! Why don't we just have ourselves a slumber party?!"
>Applebloom hops up onto one of the nearby kiddy tables and with energy that you thought she didn't have right now, just shouted this out
>Scootaloo perks right up at this and beams a grateful smile at her friend
>Even you feel a little happy at this prospect
>"And Anonymous has to look after us and take care of us and t-tuck us into bed!"
>And now you're not so sure about this as you were a few seconds ago
>Applebloom's face had turned a little red for some reason as she keeps listing off activites
>"And read us bed time stores, play games with us, brush our manes, tell us how cool we are and...and...a-"
>"We get it Applebloom, easy now"
>Sweetie Belle slumps over and holds Applebloom's mouth closed with her magic
>"Did you ask mister Anon if he was free enough to do this?"
"I'm fine with it, so long as you three promise and absolutely do not destroy anything while you're over."
>Sweetie Belle huffs and pouts, looking away from you in a manner not unlike what her older sister would do
>"I don't break anything!"
>Trying to throw her head back to huff again she ends up hitting one of their plastic tables with her body, which resulted in one of the legs falling off and breaking
>The four of you stayed silent and stared at the table before Sweetie laughs nervously and shuffles to one side of the room
>"Uh well, that wasn't my fault or anything, these kinds of things happen you know?"
>You watch as Scootaloo and Applebloom both just silently continue to stare at their unicorn friend until she finally cracks under the pressure
>"Okay! I super duper special promise to not try to break anything, it was an accident anyway."
>Oh no, looks like Sweetie Belle is close to sobbing right now, better step in and stop this before it gets out of hand
"Alrighty then everyone, time to head on back then"
>With a small clap to get their attention you move forward and scoop Sweetie Belle up in your arms before you lead the other two out of the room
>However you noticed that they were both not following you, in fact they were both pouting like Sweetie Belle was a second ago
>The little unicorn who had gone quiet when you had picked her up had decided to speak up though
>"I think they want you to carry them as well."
"It's pretty obvious Sweetle Belle, here hold on a sec."
>With Sweetie Belle wrapping her forehooves around your neck and dangling off of you, you move in and snatch up the other two crusaders
>Plopping them down onto your shoulders while you ignore that fact that Sweetie Belle is practically giggling right into your face
>"Awww, why can't I be on your head like always?"
"Because Scootaloo, it'd be unfair otherwise, and I don't want you and Applebloom to fight over who claims the spot on my head okay?"
>"B-But you're holding Sweetie Belle and she isn't on your shoulders."
>You were about to speak up but the sound of three little bellies rumbling at once interrupted you
>Said owners avoided eye contact as they blushed a little bit
"Okay then girls, let's head on back, I'm sure Granny Smith will be more than happy to have two guests over for dinner."
 
>You are now Applejack
>It is currently the econd day of Anonymous being back with you at the farm
>You aren't going to bring up the subject of work to him for a little while
>Not until you believe he is ready and over how sad he was from being fired
>Now you're a big strong and mature mare
>But seeing that Scootaloo kid, the one whose mother had made Anon so sad, you caught yourself glaring at her every now and then when Anon brought the other Crusaders over for dinner
>It's not like it was really her fault, you know this since you're so smart
>Well you're not a maths whiz like you're older brother but he's always had a knack for that
>It was pretty obvious who was Scootaloo's mother when the rumors and paper came out about Spitfire's 'alien coltfriend'
>You pride yourself on being able to pick upon these things if it involves Anonymous
>Months of trying to read between the lines of his words to find kind of hidden eortic meaning hasn't lead you astray yet!
>But you find yourself once again getting mad whenever you think of Anon
>Who in their right mind would hurt a colt like that? While you're more than happy that he is back with you, it just doesn't sit right with you
>You spy a few of the other stall mares avoiding eye contact with you as you finish setting up the Apple Family cart....stall thingo
>They can tell that something is riling up your teats but you won't let it get to you, no way are you going to be selling any apples right now when you're foaming at the mouth in anger
>Wait, are you foaming at the mouth?
>A good quick wipe of your lips with your trusty rigto tells you that you're fine
>Hold a sec, you just wiped your mouth with righto....
>Bleh! Urgh, you did wash it this morning after you got out of bed but it doesn't mean it's any less disgusting when you consider where this was earlier
>As you were recovering from your little gag fest it appears that some mare done walked up to your stall now
>Come on AJ! You've got a customer, don't mess this up now
"Howdy! And welcome to the Apple Family's humble cart, where our business is apples and business is delicious!"
>Giving the same silly speech as always you look up to the mare at your stall and your smile instantly drops
>"Uh yes hello there uh fellow mare, I'm uh looking for one Anonymous?"
"Now why would ya be asking me about your supposed coltfriend Anonymous, Spitfire?"
 
>You are Spitfire the day after the party, also the day after you kicked out Anonymous the human
>And by Celestia's flaming teats have you messed this up big time
>Like really super duper badly messed up
>You've spent the most of the day underneath your sheets and comforting yourself with chocolates
>You were so emotional and distraught that Anon wouldn't accept your gracious offer, like he was sending all the right signals.....right?
>He acted like such a clit-tease and shot you down when you asked and even payed him to just pretend
>You're currently resting on your rather large bed in your rather large room which is in your rather large mansion
>Sure it is packed with your cleaners and other such staff
>But Scootaloo had ran off this morning to go hang out with Anon
>Without those two here this whole place feels..
>Pretty empty and lonely
>It was also the first time your little fily had raised her voice at you
>She was not happy at all when she had found out that you had fired her live in sitter
>You assigned some cleaners to look after her and sent Lyra to take her to school
>The Sun had begun to set and you had just finished eating your second block of 'pick me up' chocolates when you heard a knocking on your door followed by Lyra's voice
>"Mistress Spitfire, the scouts have come back and reported that your daughter plans on staying the night at the Apple Family Residence with her two friends and Anonymous."
>...Huh?
"Did you just say that Anonymous is at Sweet Apple Acres?"
>"Yes he is, along with your daughter, her two friends and the rest of the Ponyville based Apple Family."
>Well, now you know where he is, that's a plus you guess
>Curses, you've spent the entire day in your room moping about him that you didnt even think of a way to apologize to him!
>"If I may speak freely Mistress Spitfire?"
>Normaly a cleaner has never asked you for this, so it takes you by surprise that she would ask such a thing
>But then again she was the one cleaner you saw around Anonymous the most so maybe she'll have some advice for you
"Yes you may Lyra, and uh please come inside for this."
>Within seconds one of your rather large doors swings open to allow the mint green unicorn to waltz right on in
>"Thank you Spitfire, I guess I'll go ahead and get right to the point and give you some advice."
>Oh good, sitting up a bit you wait to hear what she has to say
>"What the flipping buck was all that about last night?!"
>Her sudden shift in mood from calm and collected to angry and yelling at you has caused you to shrink back to your blanket
>"Not only did you just randomly spread a rumor about you and the human you had hired you then tried to bribe him afterwards into fulfilling the rumor but when he rejected you, what did you do?!"
>Lyra's presence in the room seems to grow bigger and bigger as she goes on while you feel more smaller and helpless
>"You bucking fired him? Now I've worked with the big guy for about a month or two and I've seen him look more defeated than when I had to stand watch while he packed his bags. And don't even get me started on how Scootalo felt when she had found out, I have never seen that little filly look so sad during my entire time working here."
>Her words pierce through you, as the list of things you've bucked up are beginning to pile more and more
>"I thought I was hired to protect and work for Spitfire the pony, but if this is how things are going to be then I'd rather quit than work for Spitfire the Wonderbolt."
"Wait Lyra! I-I messed up, I know this but I don't know what to do, I panicked and uh dear Celestia I want to fix all of this."
>Jumped from your bed you land on the floor, clinging to Lyra's leg as you begin to sob for the third time today
>Lyra's expression remains unreadable as you look up to her, the sunglasses that were part of the uniform really helped with hiding what she was feeling
>After a few seconds she lets out a sigh and you feel a hoof pulling you up
>"I aplogize for speaking outside of my station Spitfire, but I did get your permission to speak freely."
>After you are back on all four hooves she levitates a napkin out from a pocket and begins cleaning your face of tears
>"Now, if you really do want help and you actually want to fix all of this then I am more than prepared to help you, but there is a few things I would be cautious of if I was you."
"And what would that be?"
 
>Fast foward to the next day
>The Sun is shining high up in the sky, Lyra had cleaned you all up and spent most of the night preparing you for this moment
>However you don't feel as prepared as you would have liked
>As one of those concerns that Lyra her mentioned is currently standing right in front of you
>"Now why would ya be asking me about your supposed coltfriend Anonymous, Spitfire?"
>You are face to face with a very disgruntled looking farm pony
>Who looks more than ready to kick you in the gut and stomp on your teats
>Come on Spitfire you can do this!
>Just mare the fuck up and tell this other mare who is much stronger than you physically, who has known Anonymous longer than you have and is currently letting him stay at her place after you fired him
>....
>That sounded a lot better in your head
>Wait, that was in your head
>By Celestia you can't even think straight right now
>"Well? Are you actually going to answer me Spitfire or are you just going to stand there?"
>Oh shit, you've spent this entire time just staring at her, speak Spitfire, just say something
"M-me three."
>...
>....
>"Excuse me?"
>Abort! Where is the abort button right now?
>"Look, I know who you are, but I done also know that you have about five seconds to leave before I show you how we country mares handle your type."
>Oh no, she's raising a hoof, quickly Spitfire do something
"I love Anonymous!"
>...
>....
>"You what now?"
>She looks even angrier than before!
>This went through so much easier in your practice with Lyra
>But calm down Spitfire, don't get too worked up and you'll be able to deal with this
"You heard me, I want to go apologize to Anonymous."
>Good thinking Spitfire, cover up the slip up
>You're feeling a bit more confident than you were a few seconds ago
>"Nope, I'm pretty proud of my hearing skills and I know what you said, so tell me."
>Suddenly the gap between you and Applejack says goodbye as she is now glaring down at you
>"So tell me, is it normal for a mare to kick out the colt they supposedly love huh? Or are you one of those colt beaters?"
>What? No! You'd never hurt Anonymous....physically and on purpose of course
"N-no, I'm not one of those things, I just want to see him and apologize!"
>"Well you want to see him, meanwhile my lefto and righto feel very much inclined to meet the backside of your head if you don't skedaddle on out of here and never bother Anonymous again."
>You begin to grit your teeth, maybe you should have just flown over there and tried to find him instead
>You're feeling scared, sure but not as scared as the thought and possibility that you missed your chance and have your daughter hate you
"I don't care if you do but I need to see him! I've got to fix this!"
>"Fix what now?"
>Both you and Applejack turn towards the very familiar voice and spot Anonymous walking towards the two of you
>If his face was anything to go off from he didn't look very happy
>Next to him, surprisingly was that Filthy Rich colt, who also didn't look too pleased
>Oh buck, this is going to get a lot worse isn't it?
 
>Be Anonymous
>Be squashed under three little fillies as they all laugh at your expense
>Dinner was over a few minutes ago and as soon as you had finished putting your plate away you were dragged upstairs by the Crusaders
>And as soon as they threw you inside Sweetie Belle called out for a dog pile on you
>So now here you are, asking for them to get off of you while they just laugh sinisterly
>"Muahaha, I am Sweetie Belle, Queen of Mt Anon, and there's nothing you colts can do about it!"
>Sweetie Belle had somehow thrown on her Crusader cape and was holding her head up high as she stands on your belly
>"Oh yeah, well Scootaloo and I can take you on."
>Applebloom rising to the occasion is now standing proudly on your chest
>Soon she is joined by her second in command Scootaloo as you chuckle at how little they weigh on your chest
>Sweetie Belle's grin grows only wider as she now points to you
>"Sadly for you little foals, even the mountain itself is on my side!"
>...
>Wait, she means you right?
>"I said! Even the mountain itself is on my side!"
>The unicorn taps on your leg, giving you the signal to...do something
>Shrugging and going along with it you grin toothily as you sit up and scoop Scootaloo and Applebloom into your arms
>Roaring a little as you do it, which is difficult to do since you're laughing pretty hard
>And so are Applebloom and Scootaloo who are trying to wiggle out of your grasp but are too busy busting a gut with laughing
>"Pfft, no! Someone stop Mt Anon, it's tickling me too much!"
>"W-We surender almighty Sweetie Belle, please spare us from this torture!"
>Not letting up on the tickle assault you watch as they laugh a little harder
>Sweetie Belle goes back to cackling like a cartoon villian before she flips her cape over one of her forelegs
>"Very well, Mt Anon you may relinqu-relinquash...rallyenquashes..Urgh! You may let them go now."
>In her frustration at her inability to pronounce relinquish properly she stamps her hoof down
>Incidentally she happens to hit quite the sensative spot as you instantly hunch over
>Dropping both of the fillies in your arms and rolling over onto your side
>Forcing Sweetie Belle to have to jump off of you and join her friends in watching you groan in pain
>"Um...Mister Anon, are you okay?"
>"No he ain't Sweetie, ya went and hit him in the....ya know, that spot."
>"Ouch...yeesh, are you okay Anon?"
>You peek over and see Scootaloo resting a hoof on your arm
>Honestly it didn't hurt as much as you thought it did, it just took you by surprise
>As you were about to speak though a little white coated filly rushes over and begins nuzzling your arm
>"I'm sorry Mister Anon, I didn't mean to hit you, please forgive me."
>Cursed little fillies and their amazing ability to make you forgive them so easily
>One day you'll grow an immunity to this, but that day isn't today
"Oh come here you."
>Sitting back up you place Sweetie Belle in your lap and softly stroke her mane and neck
>Causing the white coated unicorn to shudder before relaxing into your lap
"You didn't hurt me that much, so calm down a tad Sweetie."
>"I-I didn't?"
>"I know my big bro was super strong!"
>"Didn't you just get mad at Sweetie for hitting his spot Applebloom? And don't you already have Big Mac as a big brother?"
>"Yeah, but Anon is like a whole cart full of apples cooler than him though."
"I actually have no idea how much that is worth, but don't let Big Mac here you say that, last time he seemed a little crossed."
>Looking at the Crusaders right now gets you thinking
>Looking back on everything that has happened to you since you arrived you find it quite funny and weird how things have turned out for you
>Sure you might find it hard to forgive Spitfire when she went ahead and did something quite stupid
>But then again you did come to an understanding of sorts with Applejack not too long ago
>And she had spent months sexually harrassing you when you worked here
>Like that time she had tried to convince you that it was normal for her to sniff your butt for some reason
>So maybe, with some time you can find it in you to forgive or at least forget the thing with Spitfire
>That is, if you ever see her again though
>Which brings up another point that you've been wondering
>Will you still be able to see Scootaloo again or as often?
>Like with Applebloom you've spent awhile getting to know the filly and grew a bond of sorts
>Applebloom decided to go with the [spoiler]onii-chan!~[/spoiler] route and Scootaloo had found you to be like a father figure of sorts
>But will Spitfire make sure that you never see the little pegasus again?
>It won't be that far-fetched if she does though
>But glancing down to the filly in front of you makes you want that to never happen
>Reaching out you pull Applebloom and Scootaloo in for a hug, gently placing a kiss on both of their cheeks
"I love you, you crazy little fillies."
>Scootaloo eeps a little and blushes while Applebloom is actually fanning herself with her hoof a little
>"M-me too Anon."
>"Hey! What about me? Why can't I be included in the hugging?"
>Sweetie Belle is glaring up at you from your lap, her cheeks puffed up and her pouting has returned in full force
>"But you haven't lived with or had Anon look after you Sweetie."
>While Scootaloo may be true in that regard you'd feel a little bad for not including her
"Oh alright, but please no more weird 'I'm your son' stuff, okay?"
>"I promise nothing!"
>She happily delcares before launching herself at you, causing you to fall over as you hug the three of them
>All of them giggling and laughing along with you as right now you just feel happy
>Being with these three make you happy
>Honestly when you think about it you haven't felt this happy since you got here
>Mostly you've had to deal with weird mares or stallions or be reminded of the fact that you will never return home
>Sure it was shit but it was your home, a place you always knew you could go back to for support and shit
>Only now do you feel as though the Apple Family's place is like a second home for you
>But maybe you've found something worthwile while you've been stuck here
>To take a page out of the little ponies' books
>You don't grow up 'till you found your true calling, or well cutie mark but you ain't getting no magical butt tattoo
>Despite how incredibly sappy this whole thing sounds in your head you can't deny it
>You want to continue looking after these three living tornadoes of destruction and cuteness
>Your mind briefly wanders as to what a foalsitting cutie mark would look like though
>"And now for the main event!"
>You turn to spy Applebloom, who had somehow rolled away, currently brandishing a board game on her back
>As soon as you spot the board game you hear the other two fillies groan
>"But Applebloom you always beat us at that game."
>"Yeah, it isn't fun if you're always winning!"
>"Aww, come on girls, Anonymous is playing with us this time, and I've been meaning to show off how smart I am."
>Settling the game down in front of you, you feel your curiosity and wonder drop as you see the cover of it
>"See? Even Mister Anon doesn't want to play it."
"No it's not that Sweetie, I just don't think we'll get any sleep with this though."
>Applebloom had sealed everyone's fate that night when she began laughing and setting up the game
>You stare down at the little piece she gave you and sigh
>Looks like all of you are stuck playing Ponopoly: Apple Family Estates Edition
 
>The Sun is shining high up in the sky
>But luckily today you don't have to worry about covering your eyes as Sweetie Belly resting on top of your head is making the perfect cover right now
>With the other crusaders hanging onto your shoulders you escort them to school
>You had woke up early and even though all you did was go down to get a drink of water Granny Smith had dragged you into helping her with making breakfast
>Which wasn't too bad, she even taught you some of her recipes
>You're starting to respect the old mare more and more as you hang around her
>However though the Crusaders began snickering and laughing as they saw you in the kitchen wearing an apron
>You had made the slight threat that their food would be burnt if they didn't stop, the apron was stopping all of the food from mesing with your clothes
>It was a bit awkward seeing as how it was made for ponies and therefore was a bit small on you but it got the job done
>With the way Granny cooks, bits and pieces of food and apples was going all over the place
>You were thankful that nothing had burned with the way she was going but it somehow worked out in the end
>"Muahaha, once again I am much higher up than you two, nyeh!"
>Glancing up you see Sweetie Belle laughing once again as she pokes her tongue out at Applebloom and Scootaloo who just sigh and roll their eyes at the same time
>"Oh why if it isn't my good friend Anonymous, yoohoo over here!"
>Turning your attention over to the familiar voice you spot Filthy Rich walking his daughter Diamond Tiara to school
>"Psst, Mister Anon, keep going just walk right over her."
>"Yeah, if you do that you uh, win like sixty points!"
"Girls, I'm not going to do that."
>Sighing you wave at Fithy and approach him and his daughter
"It's good to see you Filthy, I haven't seen you in a while."
>"Oh I do apologize for that deary, work has been terribly busy but I did get to spend the long weekend with my charming little Diamond."
>You and the Crusaders watch as he hugs Diamond and tries to kiss her cheek while she tries to push him away
>"Daddy!~ Not in front of these blank flanks okay?"
>You don't cover your ears in time as you hear a resounding 'Hey!' from the Cutie Mark Crusaders
>Looking at Filthy though you smirk a little though
>"Now Diamond, what did I say about saying such bad words?"
>Even Diamon flinches a little from her father's words
>"B-but Daddy, they don't have their cutie marks!"
>"Tut tut, that's enough out of you missy, I'll talk to you after school about this and we'll see if you really do deserve that new ponstation 3."
>Diamond looks like she wants to say something back but holds her tongue and stares at the ground
>"Okay Daddy."
>And just like that Filthy's demeanour does a complete 180 as he smiles brightly at you
>"Now where was I? Oh yes, so my darling Diamond and I spent the weekend at her aunt's place."
 
>A few minutes of listening to Filthy's story later the two of you are taking a stroll towards the market
>"So I hear someone has found themselves quite the catch~"
>Filthy begins nudging your leg as he begins giggling
"I hate to burst your bubble there Filthy, but there's nothing going on between Spitfire and me."
>You reply in a light hearted manner, knowing he means well but you still don't care too much for that part
>"Wait, there's nothing? But it was reported that even Spitfire heself claimed that it was fact!"
"Yeah 'claimed' Filthy, doesn't mean it was true, heck even I don't know why she did it."
>"What do you mean Anon?"
>And so you spent the next five minutes telling the story of that fateful party and rumor to Filthy
>As you went on though his expression darkened a tad bit
>"H-How rude! To think she would resort to such a thing, I had thought a mare of her caliber better than this but I guess I was wrong."
"While I don't disagree on the whole thing, doesn't mean she's a bad pony though."
>Wait, why are you defending her?
>"I love Anonymous!"
>What?
>You and Filthy look over to where that had come from and you're treated to quite a unique sight
>Spitfire and Applejack seem to be having a disagreement
>But if that voice and those words were any indication to you, you are pretty sure you know what they're talking about
>You want to take a step forward and stop the two of them but those words have rooted you to the ground
>Does Spitfire acually feel that way towards you?
>It sounded sincere enough but why would she go and do that whole paying you to pretend thing earlier?
>Wanting answers you find yourself in control of your legs again as you begin walking forward
>Filthy seems to be standing by your side as he follows you by your side
>"I don't care if you do but I need to see him! I've got to fix this!"
"Fix what now?"
>You and Filthy stop and stare at Spitfire and Applejack who both look shocked at your sudden appearance
>Hopefully this can be resolved without something seriously bad happening
 
>It's now the second day since you've been kicked out of Spitfire's mansion place
>And you were sure that she didn't look as shitty back then as she does now
>Getting a good look at her you notice that her eyes seem rather red, her normal manestyle looks unkept
>But right now the state of her appearence doesn't matter as you standing in front of Applejack and Spitfire
>A few of the other stall owners and goers forgoing their usual day to partake in watching the scene in front of them
>Which is a little bit unsettling, you don't want to make a scene out of this, and you want to keep this rather private as well
>Glancing around for a chance to escape you feel someone nudging your leg
>Looking down earns you a view of Filthy Rich staring up at you with proud and determined eyes
>"Don't worry my friend, I'll handle thing here while you take this elsewhere."
>Feeling quite happy of Filthy's willingness to help you, you smile as he moves away from you and towards the crowd
>"Okay people, nothing to see here, however though what is happening is that I will be running the town famous Apple Stall for a few moments!"
>You feel as though your confidence in him sinks a little bit at his declaration but you're stunned with the result instead
>"Oh is that all? I thought I heard something serious but it's just that Mr Rich colt running a stall?"
>"Hey think about it! When else are we going to see such a rich and stuck up stallion do some labor? We gotta milk this for all it is worth!"
>"I'll gladly have his apples anyday."
>"Fine, we'll get you some apples and then we'll have a good mother and daughter chat about the proper way to speak about colts."
>"But mum! You told me yourself that even yo-"
>"Hush now dear, let's just buy some apples and get out of here before someone hears you."
>"I too would like to nominate Sandy Beaches as our new Queen of the Pirates."
>Honestly a lot of it sounds like babble to you, but it seemed to have work
>Nodding at Filthy you turn on the spot and scoop up Spitfire and Applejack in your arms
>And to think just yesterday you had their respective crusader in the same arms, carrying them as well
>You're just missing Rarity on top of your head and then you'll have the complete set, but you'd rather not have her there of all places
>Knowing her as well as you think you do, she'd probably whine and complain about the state of your hair and try to clean it
>Urgh, you almost wouldn't be surprised if it turned out she had a fetish about uncleanliness
 
>You are Rarity
>And you feel a disturbance
>Something in the air around you that seems foul
>You feel as though someone just guessed what your fetish was
>Looking all around you, you find no hint or trace of Fluttershy
>You heave out a sigh, must have been a false alarm
"Now where was I? Oh yes! Please Applejack! Don't wrestle me into that oh so convinient mud puddle with your big strong legs!~"
 
>You are Applejack
>And you feel a disturbance
 
>But push all of that apple nonsense out of the way as you're back to being Anonymous
>Tuning out the words and comments of disapproval from the two mares in your arms you speed off back to Sweet Apple Arces
>What better place for a private chat than an apple orchard that is in wide open space
>Good thing you weren't going there and decide to go to the barn instead
>Upon throwing open the doors the three of you are treated to a rather...intereting site
>In the middle of the room is Big Mac, who appears to be wearing a top hot and monocle
>He is sitting at a table designed for little foals, with a tea set and that Smartypants doll you've seen now and then also wearing the same attire as the big stallion
>"Uh...eeenope!"
>Not even staying behind to explain himself he wastes no time in gathering the doll and rushing out past you and back to the barn
>As he disappears the three of you share a look that essentially speaks for itself, 'we shall purge this from our memory'
>Setting them down you're immediately met with Applejack in your face
>"Now why did you just go and nab us like that Anon? And you even left that Filthy Rich in charge of the stall! Great Apple only knows what kind of chaos is happening there right now!"
 
"Okay everypony, one at a time, in a calm and orderly fashion you will all get an apple okay?"
>You are Filthy Rich, and in order to let your new and good friend Anonymous handle things with those two you agreed to handle an apple cart
>In the back of your mind you hoped that he would give them a very firm talking to, but you also hope things go well for him
>If he formed a herd with those two then he'd be quite happy, at least you think so
>And so while your human friend is fighting a fight against emotions and mares you're stuck in your own fight with this apple cart
>Simple business right? Just look after the thing, make sure nopony steals and sell some apples
>That is what you thought at first after Anonymous had whisked away those two
>But apparently your stunt to get attention away from Anon only caused all of it to shift to you
>So now you have a bunch of mares crowding around you and the cart
>Maybe you bit off more than you could chew, and you've even finished that super duper vege bowl challenge
>Did the line just get bigger while you were thinking? By Celestia the numbers are just increasing exponentially!
>You're going to need some help, some professional help
"Drowning in Green Squad! ASSEMBLE!"
 
>"He probably has it handled, since it's rumored that he's the brains behind his mare's business."
>And Spitfire with the assisst, well assisst over nothing really since that wasn't anything to argue over
"Look, I took you here because I didn't want anyone disturbing us, and I wanted this to remain private, I hope at least one of you two know I value my privacy."
>Spitfire kinda shies away now from your harsher tone of voice while Applejack just nods her head
>"Eeyup, a stallion always values their privacy."
"Applejack, don't think I've truly forgot about all of those things before I left."
>Now it was her turn to wince a little from your words
>But being mad and dishing out shit like this is going to get you nowhere to a good conclusion
>Taking a deep breathe in you calm yourself and stare long and hard at the two mares
>In one corner, is the most country apple pony you've ever done seen
>She's get a set of thighs and flank that looks like it won't quit
>And in the other corner is the at home seductress who seems to lose her compusure when taken out of her element
>She's quite athletic and keeps in shape and it shows
>However if you were just judging them for their looks you'd be making decisions for all of the wrong reasons
>Heaving out a sigh you scratch at your hair as you think it over a little more
>Applejack and Spitfire however have decided to sit down while you were mulling things over and they sometimes glare at each other
"Okay look, first off Spitfire, what has been up with you over the past three days? I have to know since the mare I lived with wouldn't just throw me out onto the streets over something like that."
>Spitfire's head seems to hang lower and progresses further towards the ground as you went on
>Either she's very ashamed for what she has done or she's genuinely sorry for it
>But if what you heard her shout out earlier is true then maybe it's the latter, or at least you hope it is
>"I...well you see...Argh!"
>Sptifire scrunches up her face and releases out a shout before she furiously scratches her mane with her forehooves
>"Idiot Spitfire, just come out and say it you coward."
>You decide to not say anything, while you're no expert on emotions and shit you think it would be best for her to admit this or a repeat may occur later in the future
>Applejack for her part is look rather amused, watching Spitfire stress out over finding the right words to say
>After a minute of Spitfire muttering to herself and pacing back and forth she finally looks up to you
>Well more so floats up to you as she is now a few mere inches from your face
>Giving you a close up look at the bags under her eyes
>"Anonymous, you weird human, I've uh been rather unmarely haven't I?"
>Despite how long you've been here you still haven't figured out what they mean by that word yet
>But you just assume it's referring to her bad behaviour in a negative light
>However assumptions will also not end well, and so you reach out and pet her on the head softly, hoping that this may calm her down so that she can explain better
"Can you please tell me how you've been unmarely Spitfire?"
>This time she doesn't look away from you, she gulps audibly before she resumes talking
>"I went ahead and gloated about a relationship that didn't exist, I could tell that you weren't please but part of me want it to be a thing. When I had given you that offer I was secretly hoping that you would accept it, thinking that you'd come to notice me as a mare instead of just your boss. When you turned me down, you had thrown my word upside down that night, I didn't know what to do. I put on the facade of a calm and marely mare but on the inside I worry and stress a lot about things. Part of me is always concerned that my own daughter will grow apart from me because I'm not around as often as she or I would like."
>Wow she's really pouring her heart on this, you expected an apology and an explaination but it feels as though you're watching Twilight lecture you about something
>Except this time it isn't Purple Smart attempting some weird seminar to tell you to take your clothes off and this time you're interested in what is being said
>"At first it was just simple teasing, all fun and games I had thought but when you decided to tease back I felt something, a connection I had never really felt before. I'm not going to lie, I didn't even feel this way about the stallion who gave me Scootaloo."
>That was unexpected, in fact you've never heard anything about Scootaloo's father the entire time you were with them either
>"But Anonymous, it has become incresinglyy obvious, I can deny it no longer, I love you. And I know what I did was wrong, selfish and downright evil of me but please won't you come back to me?!"
>Before you're given a chance to think about this you're gently moved to the side by Applejack who clears her throat
>"What makes you think he should go back to you?! I've known him longer than you have and that night he came back I swear I've seen this big colt look so distraught!"
>Right now you're stunned, you hadn't expected Applejack to stick up for you against Spitfire
>"Heck I know I haven't been the best hostess to him and Great Apple knows that only now that I've been looking at him as a stallion instead of a big and juicy apple."
>Wait, did she just compare you to an a-
>"But as far as I am concerned, as long as I have apple blood running through my veins, that I love this here stallion more than you would ever know or feel!"
>...
>What?
>Seeing the look of confusion on your face Applejack just stomps her hoof down as a few tears trail down her eyes
>"Darn right I love you, I felt so afraid and confused when you had left us. I reckon it was good for me though since I finally saw what I had done to you and what drove you away but now that you're back I won't let you go back to some mare that hurt you as much as she did!"
>"I'm bad for him? You just addmitted that you drove him away!"
>"While that may be true, I sure as apples didn't kick him out, did I?!"
>People have made jokes that two girls fighting over you is either something funny or eventually turns into a threesome
>You never did trust those people and you're glad that you don't as it seems that these two are about to make this fight turn physical
"Okay, stop it you two!"
>Stepping between them you hold the two of them apart from each other as you groan
>You're still trying to let all of their words sink in
>It's a bit much for you to take in all at once
"Okay lo-"
>"Hold up!"
>Wait, you know that ability to intterupt you anywhere, in addition to the other two voices her joined in
>Looking behind you, standing at the entrance to the barn are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who should be in school
>"Applebloom?!"
>"Scootaloo?!"
>Their respective guardian calls out to the fillies who stand there, posing as heroic as they could as their capes flap in the breeze
>"We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! And we have come here to solve your problems!"
>Sweetie Belle proudly announces in her attempt at a deep sounding voice before she strides toward you with her two friends on either side of her
>"You came, to solve our problem?"
>Spitfire and Applejack, speaking the same words at the same time seem to have lost their anger as they look more confused than anything
>"Yeah we did! We had thought it up within seconds after we had heard from Filthy Rich where you all had gone."
>Wait, Filthy told them? Wasn't he manning the stall
>"Yeah! Miss Cheerilee was taking us out on a trip to look at the box factory but we were distracted when we went to the market."
>"What Applebloom said but when we got there, there was a huge light show, colts dancing around all over the place and in the middle of it all was Mr Rich who was selling apples."
>"Uh huh, and to finish these two we cut ahead of everypony and asked what had happened and he told us that he saw Mr. Anon taking you two back here!"
>You might have to talk to Filthy later about the difference between running a stall and turning it into a damned circus show
>"But what could you help us with? We're having a very serious grown up pony talk here."
>"Yeah, what Applejack said, I'm sorry my little Scootaloo, but I don't see how you can help us."
>All three of the fillies pout before before they shake their heads and smiles reppear on their faces
>Sweetie Belle steps forward, rubbing a hoof on her chest and trying to look all business like
>"Well, the answer is simple, even we fillies thought of it!"
>You hear a resouding 'yeah!' from Applebloom and Scootalo
>"Why doesn't Anon just form a herd with the two of you."
>"That way, I get my big bro for real."
>"And I also get a da-um Anon sitting me forever!"
>"See? It's a win-win-win-win-win for everyone involved!"