>Anonymous's log, stardate jiggilyboddilyboop 8008135
>Pwap.
>Last night, you had somehow escaped the party intact.
>All of the ponies had swarmed you after Spike had left.
>Many of them wanted to know what had just happened between you and the dragon.
>You had said you weren't even sure yourself. And really, you didn't.
>Some asked if you were coming out of the closet. Pinkie was the forefront of this group, practically jumping down your throat with "Anon, do you like dicks!?"
>You told them you weren't gay. That much you were certain about...
>A few expressed how they always knew Spike was an edgy dragon who didn't fit in with normal ponyfolk.
>You told them to throw themselves under a moving carriage.
>Finally, Rarity had come up to you, minus her colt. She had just looked at you and nodded, before walking away. You still are not sure what that was about.
>Pwap.
>After you had exited the bakery, you had walked home. To your house, that is.
>This decision was partly because you wanted to avoid any more inevitable drama at the Library, and partly because your mind was on autopilot.
>Once you had breathed in the cold night air, the events of the evening had finally grabbed hold of your brain and given it a good shake.
>Spike had...
>Pwap. Pap pap pap.
>You pick up the ball again.
>Pwap.
>You do not even remember crawling into bed, yet you woke up under its sheets this morning.
>So now here you sit, back on your couch, tossing your rubber ball against the wall.
>You do not perform this exercise today as a customary escape from boredom. Instead, the sound of the ball hitting the wall helps to  remind you of reality.
 
>That, and it reminds you of the life you used to have, before pushy ponies and confusing dragons.
>Pwap. Pap pap pap.
>Just thinking about him is enough to throw off your concentration, and the ball misses your static hand.
>You retrieve it from the floor and begin anew.
>Pwap.
>Just last week you were having a normal enough life in seclusion. What were you even thinking, trying to get back into social circles?
>Friends are a double edged sword, and right now you're feeling the edge.  
>All they've brought you is conflict and subservience. Yes, subservience. What else is it called when you are forced to do things you would not normally agree to?
>The dance, the party, the moving in together as one big snuggleful happy family, it was all because of stupid Twilight and stupid-
>Him.
>Pawp. Pap pap pap.
>Spike.
>Like a train with no brakes, your thoughts crash into the one event of last night you had been trying desperately to forget.
>That kiss.
>You try to get angry about it.
>What the heck was he even thinking? You are his bro, his one lone companion in a sea of quadrupedal fluffy horses.
>Why did he have to ruin things by being-
>No, you are not going there.
>You have nothing against gays. You're not some kind of faggot. Not liking homosexuals, twenty-twelve.
>Heh, internet. You still miss it.
>Come to think of it, how do you even know Spike is gay? Maybe he was playing around? Wanted to humiliate you some more?
>No, he would not have ran away if it was just a prank. There's got to be more to it.
 
>Racking your brains for a couple of minutes proves unfruitful. No matter how you look at it, you cannot find another easy explanation for the kiss.
>The only other reason is that Spike is indeed gay.
>Not necessarily. Maybe he's bisexual? Or just sexually curious? He has had to grow up with Twilight after all. That can't have been the most healthy of ways to learn about the birds and the bees.
>Fuck, do dragons even work that way? What is their breeding culture like? How do they treat relationships?
>It is all very confusing and you are driving yourself nuts just thinking about it.
>Frustrated, you pick up the rubber ball and throw it hard at the wall.
>PWAP.
>The ball ricochets off the wall and through your other front window.
>CRASH TINKLE TINKLE
>"Ow!"
>This is starting to become a habit.
>Reluctantly you stand up and make for the door. You recognise the voice that had just cried out in pain.
"Twilight, if you're going to stand near my house, please stay away from the-"
>You open the door to find Twilight. She is kneading a hoof into her other eye as she levitates the rubber ball in front of her.
>Your attention, however, is focused on who is behind her.
"Spike."
>"Anonymous." The dragon almost coughs your name from between firm lips. His arms are folded and his eyes are half lidded.
>You regard him as coolly as you can, since he seems just as indifferent to you.
 
>Twilight finishes rubbing her eye and somehow manages to smile at you.
>"Hello Anonymous. Me and Spike thought you would be here, and, well, your ball hit me in the eye again, and here you are!"
>She seems to force the smile even more, no doubt picking up on the tension between you and Spike.
>Nevertheless, she presses on. "Listen, Anonymous, I wanted to apologise for last night. What I did was inexcusable."
"Say what now?"
>"You have to understand, I did do a little bit of studying on the proper etiquette for late night social gatherings, and the book clearly said that when a mare is humiliated by a stallion on their date, they should-"
"What!?"
>"What?!"
>Both you and Spike stare incredulously at Twilight, before looking at each other. Instantly you resume your don't-give-a-fuck attitude which he mirrors.
>"Oh, I'm sorry, don't worry yourself." Twilight giggles. "I had overlooked the whole date aspect really, since a date and a night out with friends are not mutually exclusive situations."
"Uh huh. Can you skip to the point Twilight? I'm very busy."
>This elicits a snort from Spike.
>Whether it's because of you being 'busy' or sassing Twilight, you are unsure.
>"Oh, sorry. Basically, I was too much in my 'egghead' routine." She grumbles a little at the term, but carries on. "Nevertheless, I am very sorry for ruining your night. I am hoping we can let bygones be bygones?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever."
>You could not care less about the groin stain right now. You just want to be away from Mr. Sulky Scales over there.
>Twilight beams, happy stars lighting her eyes as she solves another friendship conundrum. "Great! I'm glad this settles things, Anonymous. Now, let's go and have some more pancakes at the Library-"
 
"Whoa whoa, time out. Who said I was going back to the Library?"
>"But, I thought-" Twilight's face falls spectacularly, hurt in her eyes. Alarmingly, it turns to suspicion as she looks at you and Spike.
>Shit. Did Spike not tell her what had happened last night?
>Judging by the flicker of worry in his face, you guess so.
>"Did...did something happen last night at the party, after I'd gone?" Twilight slowly phrases the question, peering at you through narrowed eyes.
"What? Oh, well..."
>Oh hello sweat, I didn't notice you take up residence on my neck again.
"See, I...that is..."
>What's that heart? You want to be heard by the masses once again? Well why didn't you say so, beat louder!
>Twilight's eyes narrow even further. You need an excuse, fast.
"I-"
>"Nothing happened."
>Both you and Twilight whip your gazes to the dragon. He is visibly perspiring, but holds his ground.
>"Nothing?" Twilight grates.
>"Nothing." Spike utters back. "We had punch, watched ponies dance, met with...Rarity. That's all that happened. Honest."
>If Twilight could stare harder, Spike would spontaneously combust. Then you remember that dragons are fireproof.
>Suddenly the unicorn straightens, a smile gracing her face once again.
>"Well, I'm glad that you managed to talk to her again, Spike. Just think, once Rainbow Dash is released from jail, we could all meet up together and be friends again!"
>The lizard just shrugs. Yes, you should start calling him the lizard. Nothing like a little degregation between friends.
>Twilight now turns to you. "So, how about those pancakes, huh?"
>You look down into those violet eyes. They almost seem to challenge you to disobey her request.
 
>Why should you go back to the Library? You would have to tiptoe around Spike, put up with Twilight's lectures, face another series of crazy events like last night. Why go through all of that?
>The answer comes easily. You are lonely.
>You hate being right.
"Sure, let's go."
>You pocket the rubber ball and set off, walking slightly behind the pony and the dragon. You feel the rubber object will help you manage through whatever comes your way at the Library.
>As the three of you cut through Ponyville, you cannot help but stare intently at the back of Spike's head.
>He obviously did not tell Twilight about the kiss, and he flat out lied to her about last night. And in front of you, too.
>Well, if he wants to pretend that it never happened, you have no quarrel with that.
>What you do have a problem with is his indifferent attitude towards you.
>This is not how bros treat each other. He should be being friendly and working to make things right. This is completely backwards for him.
>Now he has the gall to act like you do not even exist, walking with his long tail swaying gently back and forth as he walked-
>Holy shit.
>You just caught yourself checking Spike out.
>What the heck is wrong with you Anonymous?
>Dammit, you're doing it again.
>Still, it is not like you can help it. That tail is very hypnotic.
>You never noticed how it widened as it reached his-
>Okay stop. Stop right there. Go no further all ye who check out there.
>You knock yourself in the the head a couple of times to get your eyes to shift away.
>Trust yourself to start looking at Spike in that way after the kiss.
 
>Since when did a harmless kiss wreck someone's mind like this? It was not even that good a kiss.
>You say that, but you still remember the texture of his lips as they touched yours-
>Fuck sake, who's side are you on, brain?
>Don't look at me, Anonymous, you're the one in control of your eyes.
>So?
>You're checking him out again.
>GodDAMMIT.
>Thankfully you reach the Library without another wandering eyes incident. You are pretty sure you scared some ponies on the trip, though.
>Do they know how difficult it is to control your own eyes sometimes? You had to scrunch your face in that way.
>Oh what luck, the reading area couch is free. You quickly go over and collapse onto it face down, relaxing your tired facial muscles.
>"Pancakes will not be long!" Twilight calls as she heads into the kitchen.
>You listen carefully for the sound of Spike's padded footsteps. Strangely, they seem to be getting louder-
>A claw grips your clothes and you are turned roughly on your side. Above you hovers a very nasty looking pair of slitted eyes.
"Dude, what the-"
>"You say nothing." Spike growls, a flicker of his forked tongue punctuating his sentence. "You say nothing to Twilight at all about what happened, capiche?"
>Oh, he wants to be the tough guy now? You glare back at him.
"What's the matter, Spiky? Afraid you won't be number one assistant anymore if she finds out?"
>A whirl of smoke escapes the dragon's nostrils as he backs up a little. "Don't call me that."
>Wait, is he...?
"Are you blushing?"
>"N-No!" He grits his teeth at you furiously. "It's the fire in my mouth, it heats up my cheeks."
"Right."
>You are dubious, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt.
 
>"I'm warning you Anonymous. Twilight doesn't need to know about...last night."
"Okay. But you know who does want to know about last night? I fucking do! Because right now I have no idea what is going on!"
>He simply continues to glare at you. You return his look, and he wearily sighs.
>"Just...forget about it, Anon. Please."
>He turns and walks away, heading up the stairs to the living area. You stare dumbfoundedly at him go.
>That's it? Just forget about it? Fuck no. You need to get the bottom of things.
>"Oh?" Twilight emerges from the kitchen, carrying several steaming plates of pancakes with her magic. "Where did Spike go?"
"Upstairs."
>"He's been acting really weird lately." The unicorn murmers as she levitates a portion to you. "I wonder what's really up with him..."
>You pause before taking a bite of pancake. It's sweet and immediately lightens your mood.
"I wish I knew."