>Day Everyone wants to be a princess in Equestria
>You are Anon, keeper of bees.
>Just kidding, ur a big faget.
>Living in P0nyville is a simple task.
>All your expenses were paid for after Twilight Sparkle told Celestia of you.
>It is strange but, you don't dwell on it.
>You awaken to a beautiful sunrise on the horizon.
>With a stretch, you get out of bed to see the Princess of Night's tail poking out from beneath the frame.
“Uh, morning Luna.”
>She pops her head out.
>”YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS, PRINCESS LUNA.”
>The sheer volume of her voice forces your hair backwards.
>She then laughs at your appearance.
>”Goodness Anonymous, you have with nary a doubt made my day.”
>With your mouth agape, you simply stand affixed to the ground.
>”Well, are you not going to assist your princess of the night from underneath this bed?”
>Shake your head, still catching flies.
>She huffs.
>Ignoring Moonbutt, you go downstairs...
>To see Sunbutt cooking some pancakes and frying eggs.
>The waft of food tickles at your nostrils, it's great!
“Celestia, my liege... Thanks for... breakfast?”
>”It's no trouble, Anonymous. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”
>Scratch your chin.
“Surely this isn't the most important task of the day though?”
>”It is.”
>That can't possibly be right.
“So, no Discord messing shit up, no crystalline troubles, nothing?”
>”Nope.”
>She smiles regally.
>But... what?
“There's always some sort of mischief happening, what's going on?”
>Just as you finish your sentence, a flash of light from your sitting room alerts you.
>Take your breakfast through, munching on a syrup covered pancake.
>You shout through to Celestia.
“Thig ig fuggen eggelen'!”
>Inspecting the curious thing in the room, you see a small note taped to the box.
>It reads “<3 chrysalis”
>The changeling?
>Before you can peer inside the box, another 5 materialize next to it, filling up the whole room.
“WHAT IS GOING ON?!”
>Sit down before you pass out from the dizziness.
“Okay, screw this, I'm going down to the cellar.”
>You need a drink, even if it's still early. Things have been way too weird today.
>Trundle down the steps and turn on the light.
>Lying there is an unconscious Cadence with Shining Armour next to her.
“What the fuck happened here?!”
>He's rocking back and forth, pupils as if he injected 3 weeds.
>”She did... horrible things to me...”
>Next to her is a big rod made of iron.
>...Shit.
>This is just even more worrying.
>Oh well, time for...
>On your liquor cabinet reads “I O U -Cadence x”
>Look up to see all the bottles are gone.
“GAH!”
>Hear a giggle, and walk back upstairs.
>It sounds like...
>“Hi Nonny!”
>Pinkie Pie?
>”Did ya like that awesome party last night?”
>Uh.
“Party?”
>”Yeah! All the princesses came, even the big meany!”
>Fuck.
“So... what happened at this party?”
>”Well, I held you down against your will and let them have your way with you! Hehe!”
>...That explains the soreness in your crotch.
>And you could've sworn Celestia gave you a wink...
>”Except from Luna, she waited til you got up from the floor.”
“Wha- How- HUH?!”
>She grins, you're not sure if it's an insane or happy one.
“I-I'm just gonna...”
>You flop down to the floor.
>”Oh, and you might wanna go to the hospital.”
“W... why?”
>She motions you to come close.
>”Closer.”
>She whispers.
>”Cadence and Shining double-teamed you!”
>She puts her snout almost inside your ear.
>”And Shining has diseases...”
“Oh...”
>You void your afflicted bowels and pass out.
>Fucking Pinkie Pie.