Spear
Steel dildo
Phone that can only call massage therapist
Mystery box
 
>Day does this bit even matter anymore in Equestria
>There has been a strange occurrence in your local town of P0nyville.
>knock-knock-knock
>”Anon, come quick!”
>Ugh, not again.
“Twilight, what is it?”
>She has been pestering you for a week now, trying to use her magic to figure out what your fetish is.
>”You need to see this!”
“It better not be what I think it is.”
>Open the door.
>In front of you is...
>An enormous...
>Hulking...
>Steel dildo.
>It blocks out the view of the sun!
“Twilight, what the fuck is this?!”
>”Uh... Well...”
>She turns red.
>”Is forging metal sex toys in the deepest bowels of Klopatoa your fetish?”
>Your face goes flat.
“No, Twatlight Spitfuck. It isn't.”
>”Ah.”
>Just as you go to slam the door in her face for the umpteenth time, she puts her hoof in the door.
“Something else?”
>”Well, yeah. This... thing has appeared in the middle of the town square. Please, you have to come and see!”
“How do I know you're not just trying to lure me outta my house?”
>The purple mare looks desperate.
>You can't resist those puppy eyes.
“Okay, fine. But first, I gotta grab my spear.”
>You don't go anywhere without your trusty spear.
>It's the one thing you carry with you at all times.
>”You do know that P0nyville is a peaceful town, right?”
>You chuckle at her.
“Nonsense, Twilight. Danger lurks around every corner, it just doesn't always reveal itself.”
>Raise an eyebrow at her, hinting not-so-subtly what you mean.
>She cowers a little bit.
>”Um... Of course it doesn't...”
“Good. Now if you don't mind, we have a town hall to go to.”
>The pair of you stride towards the town.
 
>Inside the town hall, Mayor Mare is panicking.
>”Oh Celestia, what is this thing?!”
“Step aside, Mayor. This looks like a job for Anonymous.”
>Walking into the centre of the hall, you spot a familiar-looking object.
>Is that...
“A telephone?”
>Twilight tilts her head.
>”A what now?”
>Oh. Right.
“A telephone is something from my planet. How it got here... Curious.”
>You pick it up, but are surprised to find there's only one button.
>Well, here goes nothin'.
>Beeeep-beeeep.
>Beeeep-beeeep.
“Hello?”
>”'Allo, P0nyville Day Spa, 'ow may I 'elp you?”
>Lotus?
“H... How do you have a phone?”
>”Iz thees a prank call?”
>Slam the phone down.
>Mayor Mare looks at the two of you.
>”Twilight, you're smart. Perhaps you can figure out why these things came here. And Anonymous can tell you what they do!”
>She doesn't seem to be paying attention.
“Well, I guess we're going to the spa.”
>As she snaps out of her daydream, she looks at you with hopeful eyes.
>”But I don't need a hooficure...”
“I'm not taking you there for that. They have another phone.”
>She hugs you regardless.
>”Oh thank you Anon, that's so nice of you!”
“But I'm not-”
>”Hush, I know you just wanna keep it a surprise.”
>Slap your forehead in frustration.
“Whatever you want to believe.”
 
>At the spa.
>”Oh, good day Anoneemuss. Vhat do you want done today?”
“Aloe, I'm not here for that. Something just came to P0nyville that shouldn't have.”
>She scratches her head.
>”Do you meen zat device that rings like a bell?”
>Nod.
>”Zat thing came in a few days ago. We thought everyp0nee had one.”
>She takes it out from beneath the counter and hands (hoofs?) it to you.
“Thanks.”
>You and your, er, companion of sorts walk outside.
>Twilight stops you in your path.
>”I'm gonna have to take it for studies.”
>Look at her, disgust in your face.
“Who said YOU could have it?”
>”Well, us p0nies haven't got the technology!”
>Before you can put the phone in your pocket Twilight grabs hold of it.
>Grit your teeth in an attempt to intimidate her.
“Let. Go.”
>”You let go! You didn't get me the hooficure you said you would, so I get your little... thingy!”
>...That couldn't have came out worse.
>The pair of you tug and tug at it.
>Until you manage you tug it so hard that it snaps in two.
“Well, fuckin' great Twilight! Now we have a telephone that can't even dial anyone!”
>Enraged, you take your spear out from behind you.
>She falls to the floor and freezes on the spot, pupils the size of peas.
>”Y-you're not going to... kill me are you?”
>Before you strike your enemy down, you stop yourself.
“No, you're not worth the bloodstains.”
>Her eyes begin to well up with tears.
>”B-but...”
>Pull her up from the floor.
“Hey, it was just a joke.”
>”R-really?”
“Yeah. But I might've killed you.”
>She stops crying.
>”Oh.”
>Silence for a moment.
>”Is p0nycide-”
“NO THAT ISN'T MY FETISH”
>After you say that, you remember the big steel manhood outside your home.
>How the fuck are you gonna move that?
“Well, seeing as we fucked up one of the two phones, you might as well come and help me move that eyesore from my front garden.”
>For the second time today, her face contorts into sadness.
>”I had that especially made...”
>For the second time again, she puts on her puppy eyes.
>Dammit, you can't resist her cute little face.
“Well, fine. I'll keep it with me. But you're moving it around the side of my house or something. I don't wanna be greeted by a giant dick every time I walk out the door.”
>”How are we gonna move it though? I had to get 3 unicorns to help me move that thing.”
“Oh, I have an idea.”
 
>Back at your home
>Twilight is standing outside, puzzling on what to do with her metal member.
>Well, not hers but...
>You get the idea.
>And you also have an idea of how to move it.
>In your bedroom is a large box that came with you to this land.
>You have never opened it, as you know it is only for emergencies.
>What's inside?
>It's a mystery
>You have a feeling it will come in handy however.
“Twilight, come help me with this.”
>The mare trots up the stairs.
>”What is it?”
>Present the box to her.
“It's quite heavy, but I'm sure your magic can hold this fine.”
>She blushes.
>”Oh, of course I can. I could hold you if I wanted...”
>Sparkle Bedroom Eyes: ACTIVATED
>That ain't a pretty sight.
>She lays the box out on the grass.
>”What's in there, Anon?”
“It's a mystery.”
>You undo the catches on the side, and open it up to reveal...
“Wow.”
>There's...
>A sheath.
>Shaped exactly for your dick.
>It's at least 30 inches long.
“Hoe-lee fuhhhk.”
>And 6 inches wide.
>Suddenly, you are compelled to get completely nude.
>Your dick stands at full mast, knowing you will have the biggest dick around.
>Twilight just stares in awe at the mystery unravelling in front of her.
>”A-anon... You're so big!”
“I FUCKING KNOW!”
>With your enormous new dick, you slam it into the side of the metal construct.
>It falls almost instantly.
“FUCK YEAAAAH!”
>”A-anon...”
“WHAT?!”
>”You're still... solid~”
>Huh. So you are.
>"Anon... Are YOU your fetish?"
>Maybe you'll take this thing for a test drive.
>Spend the rest of the day
>Annihilating Twilight's horsevag.