>Day Hearth's Warming Eve
>You're Anon, and it's Christmas Eve!
>Sitting in your boxers eating some cereal, you excitedly await the bells to ring at midnight.
>Of course though, this is Equestria.
>And of course, there are ponies here.
>A knock makes a din.
>Open your door.
“Yes?”
>“Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Anon!”
>...
>Oh god.
>The sight in front of you is...
>Crazy.
>There stands Rainbow Dash, all wrapped in Christmas attire.
>Her legs are caked in wrapping paper.
>She dons a Santa hat.
>And her athletic body is in a less-than-modest Santa dress.
>Every fucking year, another one of the ponies tries to win your affections.
>Why on this day?
>You don't know.
“It's fucking Christmas Dash, not Heart's Worming Pet Peeve or whatever the hell you call it.”
>Immediately, she plants her hooves down, once again becoming a quadruped.
>“Anon, you need to [spoiler]love and tolerate[/spoiler] our traditions more.”
>Her face turns sultry.
>Oh fuck.
>From behind her, she pulls a candy cane.
>But this isn't any candy cane.
>Oh no, this is the CandyFuck 6000, purchased from that weird store in Canterlot.
>The end of it has a fucking enormous dragon dildo on it.
>The worst part is that it's fucking edible.
>An edible dildo!
>“Now... what day is it tomorrow?”
>Your pride takes hold of you, making you colossally fuck up.
“It's fucking Christmas, you Rainbow cunt.”
>Her once-sexy face turns sour.
>She snaps the thing in two.
>You've really fucked up now!
>“Wrong answer!”
>She takes a steady aim towards your mouth, and flaps her wings intensely.
>You cover it and begin to run like a fucking Kenyan.
>“Come back, you little fuck!”
>Slam a door on her face.
>You can't help but laugh at the thud it makes.
>Then she bursts through it, her face covered in wooden shards.
>Stopping for breath was a bad move.
>Inside the kitchen, she attempts to lunge at you.
>She ends up tossing herself inside some pans.
>She instantaneously recovers as you hear sleigh bells passing above you.
“Fuc- Dash, can this wait?! You need to be in bed or else Santa won't bring you any presents!”
>She looks at you like you've went insane.
>“Santa? You mean the Present Pony?”
>You facepalm.
>Everything here is literally so shit.
“Whatever, get in bed, quickly!”
>Once more, she drops them bedroom eyes.
>“Does this mean I can get into /your/ bed An-”
>Panicking, you make another crucial mistake.
“Yes, yes, whatever! Santa just needs to bring us presents! Hurry up!”
>Rainbow nods, then without warning-
>You're both in your bed in a flash.
>“What are we gonna do in the bed, Anon?”
>Why did you say she could get in?
>She gazes at you with wanton eyes.
>Then brings out the CandyFuck 6000.
>Bumps her eyebrows up and down.
>“Heeeey Anon.”
“What.”
>She looks at it, then back to you.
>You're not taking it.
“No. Fuck off. You're only getting coal in your stocking.”
>“I want your coal in /my/ stocking~”
>Why do you keep saying the wrong thing?
>Sleigh bells smash into the top of your house.
>Quietly as possible, you whisper to Dash.
“SHH! It's Santa!”
>With that, she starts to moan.
>The grotty smell of musk hits your nose powerfully.
“Gross.”
>With that, Santa pops in through your bedroom window.
>“I see you when you're sleeping, I know when you're awake, I know if you've been bad or good, and both of you are terrible!”
>He slings his bag to the ground, and takes out a lump of-
>Shrapnel?!
>“Hohoho, Merry Christmas!”
>A flash of white light.
 
>You're Anon, and you're dead.
>On the night before Christmas.
>Could be worse though.
>Could've spent Christmas
>Fucking Rainbow Dash.