>Day Bizarro
>Looming overhead is a red sky, mixed in with green clouds.
>Outside, the birds are not chirping.
>They are growling.
>And they have molars.
>Why do they have molars.
>That's fuckin' terrifying.
>SunflowerSheepish is “singing” to them.
>And behind her are the Ponytones but, instead of a soothing melody...
>Blast beats.
>“CRUSH CUNTS WITH OUR TEEEEEEETH”
>Sweeping guitars.
>“PONIES, WE FEAST ON MEAAAAAT”
>Ah yes, day brutal death metal in Equestria.
>For too long you had wondered what was with Fluttershy, well, of course you did. She has tried to molest you on several occasions.
>But you never expected this... bizarreness to occur.
>The fucking trees grow leaves first now.
>A flash of light and a popping sound approaches your senses.
>“Oh, it's just wonderful! Truly marvelous!”
>Indeed, this was the doing of Dickswo- Discord.
>Of course it was.
“So, what caused you to do this?”
>The amalgamation of creatures abrasively twists towards you, appalled at your assumption.
>“Me? What ever caused you to think /that/?”
>You fold your arms.
“Well, it's not like you haven't accidentally trapped the Princesses in a fucking tree or caused candy floss clouds to rain chocolate milk. Of course not.”
>His suddenly-elongated eyelashes flutter at you innocently.
>“Anon, I honestly had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't dare interfere with those birds' dental situations, that's unsanitary.”
>Clean freak.
“So, who was it?”
>A shrug.
>Great.
“Well, I'd best get on with the day then. I still have work to go to.”
>“Oh, I wouldn't bother if I were you.”
>You stop in your tracks.
>Raise an eyebrow at the draconequus.
>“I saw Pinko Pang or whatever her name is throwing sticks at a young dragon with a gryphon. Is she new in town?”
>Well, no work for you then.
“I... I don't think so.”
>Discord smiles.
>“Excellent. Obviously, Sugarcube Corner is, as of now, closed until further notice. Enjoy your day off!”
>With a puff of smoke, Discord leaves you in your hall, pondering what the fuck is going on.
 
>You take a step outside, figuring there's nothing else better to do but go and see Applejack.
>If anyone knew what was going on it would be Hat Horse.
>Fluttershy stands at your door.
>You expect the worst, but,
>“GOOD MORNING!”
>She yells at you, but with a smile on her face.
>Your legs baulk slightly.
>Fearing the worst, you get ready to goddamn peg it.
>She then leaps upon you, and tries to-
>Cuddle with you.
>Crawling away from Jaundiced Low Volume, you wonder why she wasn't forcing her gross halitosis tongue down your throat.
>“But I wanted a hug!”
>The rest of the Ponytones turn to you and start to glare.
>One of them starts to open their mouth slowly.
>Fuuuuuck that noise!
>Covering your ears you fuckin' bolt in any direction that isn't where they are.
>Wails of metal violate your eardrums.
>So now it's just audible harassment, not sexual.
>The terrible screams from the assortment of pones causes you to call for help.
“APPLEJAAACK!”
>From a street corner, the orange pony pops out.
>No
>Fucking
>Hat
“WHAT IN THE EVER-LIVING FUCK IS GOING ON!”
>The gryphon Discord mentioned earlier laughs at you, and throws a stick off your unsuspecting head.
“FUUUUCK YOU AAAAALL, WHERE'S THE PRETTY PURPLE PRINCESS”
>Your fatigued legs are ready to just fall off your torso and keep going by themselves to an owner that wouldn't only use them in dire situations like this.
>Many mares and stallions turn to you and begin chasing you, tongues out the side as if they're dogs.
>“Where ya goin'?!”
>“Who ya visitin'?!”
>“Is there gonna be a surprise?!”
>And all at once now,
>“SURPRIIIISE!”
>If your ears weren't dead before, you're going to need 3 hearing aids for each now.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!”
>Sliding around the corner you spot the treehouse.
>Finally!
>You hoof it to the door and slam it with a crash behind you.
“Twilight! Do something!!”
>She's sitting there, with papers in magic-hand.
>Whispering to herself, you make out some jargon.
>“If I reverse the matrices of 1-5-6, then I can trace the logistic scan back to...”
“Hello?! I exist, you know!”
>“And then I can carry the error and still get a solution for the mystic charge...”
>You stomp your foot on the ground.
>“So that I can- ANON! Hello!”
>She seems excited to see you.
>Then she hurls you into a bookshelf.
>...Your nose hurts.
>“Get me a book on M-theory, stat!”
>Ponies can't into physics.
>Things are REAL fucked now.
>Slapping your hands between books rapidly, you see the first big M and just fuckin' lob the thing at her.
>“Gre- OOF”
“Where's Spike? Doesn't he do this sort of stu- Oh yeah, he's getting pummeled by wood.”
>She tilts her head in a “what the fuck” sort of manner, raises a hoof but then stops.
>Twilight doesn't dare question these things anymore.
>She will question you though.
>“What issues have you been experiencing though?”
“Oh, well, Discord came to my house, Fluttershy only wanted cuddles instead of cock, the Ponytones growled at me, a gryphon threw a stick at me, and dog-pones followed me here. Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
>She asks you to repeat one.
>You know which one.
“Applejack wasn't wearing her hat.”
>“No, not that. Second one.”
>...
“Fluttershy only wanted cuddles. Not cock.”
>She scratches her head.
>“Even with all the other stuff, don't you /want/ her to curb her enthusiasm for the human... anatomy?”
>Inside, you wonder.
>Is all this worth it for Fluttershy to stop trying to rape you?
>You don't let on though.
“That doesn't matter, what about everybody else?”
>She giggles.
>“All I've had is Spike running off doing some odd jumps. Nobody's having much problems but you. Look around.”
>She opens a curtain.
>“Everypony is having a good time.”
“Then what were you doing when I came in?”
>She knocks her head, as though she had made a critical error.
>“I was trying to come up with an equation to tell us how this happened.”
>Of course she was. [spoiler]fuckin nerd[/spoiler]
>She grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down something on it.
“Why does it matter to you if it doesn't affect you?”
>“I like to know the science behind it.”
>Sigh.
“Can you change it back? If I so wanted to?”
>Abruptly, Fluttershy walks in.
>“Twilight! Can I bo- oh.”
>She gives a sneer in your direction.
>Doesn't acknowledge you after that.
>“Borrow a book on how to get rid of pests?”
>This truly is bizarre.
“Fluttershy, what was with you back there?”
>Not even a batted eyelid.
>Not even a suggestive wink.
>Not even a sly glance.
>Suddenly, you're not sure what's worse.
>A world where nobody would pay attention to you unless you had to make the effort...
>Or a world with an overaffectionate Fluttershy.
>The door shuts behind her, carrying with her the air of sad.
>“Yes.”
>You turn to her.
“Huh?”
>“You asked if I can change it back. Yes.”
>She puzzles at you, saying nothing for a few seconds.
>“You actually miss it.”
>Throwing up your hands, you ask what.
>“The guesses at your... interests. The hiding in the shower til you come in.”
>Your face becomes flushed.
>“And most of all, her.”
>And that's done it.
“No! Of course I don't! That's preposterous.”
>Things take a turn for the Darth Vader.
>“Look deep within you, Anon! You know it to be true!”
>Uncontrollably, you have to yell one thing.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
>All is silent in the treehouse.
>“...What was that for?”
>Shit.
>No Star Wars in Equestria.
“N-nothin'.”
>A funny face, Twilight presents to you.
[spoiler]>We Yoda now.[/spoiler]
>“Well, I'm just gonna go ahead and change it back.”
>Fuck's sake, she's playing the devil in this scenario.
“No, don't.”
>A shit-eating grin creeps onto her lips.
>“So you want to be stuck in this weird world?”
“No! But-”
>“So you want to be with your beloved Fluttershy?!”
“Ye-NO! Just-”
>“Aha! You do!”
>Stretching out a hand, you try to scream “NO!”
>But before you can, her horn flashes purple.
>A titanic export of concentrated sounds of an entire universe hits you all at once, and without warning knocks you out.
 
>Night Bizarro
>Late owls toot, and you hear a shower.
>Your clock reads 4am.
>Fuck, why.
>Who's even in your house to shower anyway?
>You get out of bed and sluggishly make your way into the bathroom.
>Ripping open the shower curtains carelessly, a yellow shape appears.
>“U-um...”
>You're back home.
>Through the window, you swear you see that pesky Twilight giving you a smirk.
>But, you know you're thankful anyway.
>Stripping off your pyjama bottoms, you hop in the shower.
>Spend until morning
>Fucking Fluttershy.