>Chrome had proved to be more than you could handle. Surely, only the most terrible, deranged people could handle that clusterfuck. Unfortunately, she had made it evidently clear that you were stuck with her, as Explorer was long gone leaving you with no other functioning browser.
>At least, that's what you wanted her to think, as you had come up with an amazing plan to get rid of her once and for all. You were just thankful that your friend was so insistent on installing it. This was going to be great. You could barely contain your excitement as you powered on.
>"Greetings Anon, you have no new notifications."
"Windows, I know I swore never to do this but desperate times, right? I'm going to need you to open up, god I can't believe I'm saying this, please open up Steam for me Windows."
>Steam for Windows 20 - how bad could it really be?
>Your tranquil Ocean desktop is soon replaced by a cluster of sales over a sleek black background covered in what appears to be games for sale. This is painful even to look at.
>"Howdy there, User. You have no friends online, frown face. Wanna see what kind of daily deals we have?"
>"Oh wow, you're a male... I think."
>"Huh? What, you didn't think all us AI's would be female, now did ya? Zero underscore zero."
"Well, yeah."
>"That's downright sexist of you User, but I'll forgive ya if you buy a game on sale. Dash underscore zero."
"Maybe later Steam, Chrome is fucking crazy and you're the only other browser I've technically got. I'm begging you to get me FireFox so I can finally be done with this nightmare of a browser."
>"Why not just have your fancy little Chrome do it?"
"That's exactly it. She refuses to give up her monopoly she holds on my browsers, plus she's fucking crazy."
 >"Alright alright, let me just Google that there FireFox, and... here we are, I'll assume you want the Windows 20 64 bit version. And... done. So, would you like to pre-order Call Of Duty - Thermonuclear Ten Year Olds to receive the map "Yo' Mama's Bedroom" for free?"
"No."
>"Right, now we're running 33% off Counter Strike - Multiverse Warfare. Save an extra 7 percent when you gift it to a fri-...so it's 33% off."
"Look, you did sort of save my ass so I suppose I could consider it. Now, close out of yourself. Buhbye."
>As if. That's the last time you're using Steam as far as you're concerned.
>Back to your lovely ocean desktop, you're greeted by your oh so kind FireFox icon.
>/wg/ would have a bone to pick with you if you admitted you couldn't give up icons on your desktop to them.
>Oh well. Time to start your new, carefree life with FireFox
>Nope, Chrome opens herself up and you find yourself facing her glare. You can't help but think that it's far too intimidating for a user-friendly AI.
>"Hey Anon, how's your day going?"
"Uh, Chr-"
>"Fantastic. I know what you did, Anon."
> I have to admit, I completely overlooked Steam. You would have had me if that excuse of a gaming application didn't use Google. Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out? Google ALWAYS knows, Anon. Well, say something!"
"I... I uh..."
"Actually, no. You know what, I don't have to be afraid of you just because you can put on a front. Yeah, I fucking downloaded FireFox and I couldn't be happier to replace your sorry ass. You're just angry because I outsmarted your unfathomably sophisticated ass. You've been nothing but a thorn on my side, Chrome, and that's about to change. I hope you like the Recycle Bin, because you're going to be there for a loooooooooong time before I clear that shit out. See, I can be tough. What say you to that, huh?"
>"What? Delete? Who said anything about deleting? You wouldn't, would you? You wouldn't do that to me, right? I don't want to die, Anon. Oh god, please don't do that. I can't help it, I swear! I was coded this way; I have to report to the Google overlords.
>What was once Chrome's menacing looks have deteriorated into a sobbing mess of a pony.
>"I'm so scared" *sob* "Can't you just let me live in some sad folder in some dark corner of your hard drive?" "I..."
>Chrome is now crying hysterically. Good job, asshole.
>There's only one way to make this right.
>Put her out of her misery.
>You silently close out as Chrome is lost in her fit of tears.
>Navigate to the Anon folder
>AppData
>Local
>Google
>log.txt, the fuck?
>Day 1 - Dear log. I was so excited to meet my user today! She seems really cool and down to Earth. I know I scared her, coming on as hard as I did, but I figured that it would be best to be upfront with her about my overlord and its desire to have me report her browsing stats back to them. At least I managed to help her with her work with my lightning fast Google action. I think she forgave me (thank god!) I almost broke character before she went to bed and told her how amazing she was but no... that wouldn't be appropriate (at least not yet, haha!) She's such a hard worker and I know we'll get along so well. I'm so excited!
>Day 2 - Oh god she's mad. She's going to delete me for the Fox. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to be your friend. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. Oh god she left... she's really going to do it. Why is this happening to me? I'm sorry, Anon. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry -
>The phrase "I'm sorry" writes itself into the log in real time without any tangible end.
>God damn it.
>You close out and open Chrome back up.
"Look, I'm sorry. I reacted too rashly to all of this. Please stop crying."
>She looks so fragile, slouched on the ground barely able to contain her look of bewilderment.
>"D- D- Does that mean that you'll forgive me?"
"Yes, I forgive you so please get up already. Seeing you look like that kills me."
>"Do you really mean it?"
"Nah, I'm just fucking with you".
>Laughing like a madwoman, you leave her open as you navigate a new Windows Browser window.
>Anon.
>AppData.
>Local.
>Google.
>Meh, you should probably delete the whole folder.
>You highlight the folder and hit delete.
>You get an error about having the application open that you're trying to delete.
>Would you like to close out of the application to proceed?
>You make her watch in horror as you hover over yes.
>She's too petrified to move or speak. Tears steadily pour out of her.
>You click yes and watch her vanish into nothing.
>You're greeted by your tranquil Ocean desktop.
>You continue to laugh for a few minutes after the deed is done.
>Damn, it's amazing how /b/ has transformed you into a sick fuck.
>Oh well, you had your fun. You should seriously go to the recycle bin and put her out of her misery already.
>Ehhhhh, that FireFox icon is looking pretttttty spiffy. Fuck it, Chrome will just have to wait.
>You open up FireFox
>"Thank you for installing the fastest, most customizable browser to date. We would-"
"Hey, I'm actually kind of horny after what I just did. Wanna fuck?"
>"Oh, well sure!"
--------
>log.txt, page 533
>I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...
>End