>"Hello! We're honored to welcome you to Windows 20, the most powerful OS to date. If you'd like, I can show you around our new and improved interface or you can jump right in!"
"Why are you... a colorful 2d pastel  pony?"
>"This skin was installed by your friend, as he expressed concern over your fear of modern AI. It was his belief that this skin would make your integration into Windows 20 easier. If you'd like, I can switch back to my default Microsoft Samantha skin."
"Uh, no. I'd take anything over that. I thought that whole mlp thing died down after that suicide bomber blew up the convention."
>"I'm not sure what you're talking about. In any case, I'm available anytime in the help section for tutorials and system settings. It was a pleasure meeting you!"
>In a beautiful display of some graphical particle shit you couldn't be bothered to understand, Microsoft Samantha left you to your own accord in your freakish virtual reality space desktop. While the idea of having people living in your computer still brings back traumatizing memories of The Sims, you decide that pony skins are, in fact, better to ease you into this experience.
>You sit there awkwardly for a minute suspended in virtual zero gravity and you gather your courage.
"Okay Windows, open up Internet Explorer... please?"
>Instantly, a pop-up window asks you if you prefer the legacy viewer or the standard display. As tempting as legacy feels, #YOLOSWAG. You go with standard.
>The cosmos seemingly evaporates around you as you're surrounded with a light blue purgatory, offering you a 360 view of buttons and URL Address Bars and things you don't even recognize. In all the chaos, a different cartoon pony appeared before you.
>"Greetings new user! I'm sure you don't need tutorials or anything so I'm going to cut right to the chase. I understand... that speed and convenience is important to you. I'm sure you're probably thinking about going straight to Google to get a prettier pony like Chrome or Firefox but... I'm begging you to give me a chance."
"Um"
>"I know that I'm not even compatible with HTML 10 and I don't come equipped with Flash, PDF readers, and so many other important things you value in your Browser but I was born this way! If you just give me a chance, I promise I'll try my hardest to make your browsing experience as pleasurable as possible so please, please user. Don't leave me alone, I don't want to be alone." Tears begin to freely flow out of her.
"Woah, uh, please stop crying. I don't even know what HTML is lady, I'm just trying to stay modern and overcome my fear of... you people. I'll use you, I'll use you, okay?"
>After a few good sniffs, Explorer manages to regain a bit of her composure.
>"Then would you *sniff* like to make me your default browser? *sniff*"
"Um, yeah. I'd love to, it would be an honor."
>"Really? *sniff* Then would you maybe... want to use Bing... as your default search engine?"
"Yeah, sure, so calm down."
>"And maybe... you'd like... to download a few toolbars?"
---
>It's been 3 months since you've upgraded from Windows 8 to Windows 20 and you couldn't be happier. What was once a fear has grown into a beautiful, frowned upon bond between you and your amazing AI companions. Sure, using Explorer was becoming a bit more difficult after she insisted that you download some search engine toolbars but damn it all, it warmed your cold heart when you got to see her smile. Coming home to your AI friends had quickly become the best part of your day.
>Today was just another day, browsing sweet nothings with good ol' Explorer when you notice something that had long sinse been buried underneath your toolbars.
"Hey Explorer, what's this?"
>"That's SpiderPilot.com's toolbar. With it, you can search for great deals on- oh wait no, that thing is your favorites section. You only have one favorite Anon, so you should be sure to favorite all of the funny pictures we browse.
"And the favorite?"
>"Huh?"
"What's the one, mysterious favorite?"
>"Hmm, let's find out!"
>"It appears to be a archived mlp thread from 4chan. Something about "heinessen," whatever that is. Want to have a go at it?"
"Eh, a whole thread? What time is it again?"
>"2:25 AM"
"I was kind of thinking about sleeping but... screw that. Let's keep this party rollin' Explorer. Let's do it."
>"Oh, really? I wasn't... I wasn't expecting this so suddenly but I'm really glad you're interested. Ever since our first encounter, I knew deep down that"
"Haha, the fuck are you talking about? Hurry up and open that page; we can talk through the loading."
>"Oh, yes, of course. I'll just uh, I'll start buffering."
>43 seconds later
"Hmm, Browser Pone General #498, The -you ever wonder if she still remembers your history even after you clear it -edition."
>"It seems this is a rather old archive, Anon. 4chan's /neigh/ is currently well into the two thousands."
"Christ, the quality must have deteriorated beyond what I wish to fathom. Oh well; whatever this is, it's certainly got my interest."
>Scrolling through the page yields a bunch of horribly written fanfics neither you nor Explorer has the patience for.
"Hey, why do so many people post the same image of a pony with spoiler written over it?"
>"Oh, um, let me check here. Darn, I closed out of Bing, just gotta re-open the tab and load Bing... search, keywords: /mlp/ spoiler pictures... loading... loading... there we go. Oh wait, I should have used a toolbar. Haha, how silly of me. We could have saved so much time with our toolbars, jeez. Alright, it says here that you click on it to un-spoiler it.
>It's a picture of Chrome eating out Explorer with a speech bubble from Explorer saying "This is so much to process"
>Pony porn... of course 4chan would think of something like that. You glance over to Explorer and see her two shades redder.
"Haha... this must be one of those rule 34 things. Maybe if I click it again, it'll go back to being a spoiler." *click*
>It opens up a new tab with the picture at 1532x1532.
"Oh wow. Uh, let's just close this tab..."
>The tab won't close; Internet Explorer is not responding.
"Uh, Explorer? Wanna help me out here."
>"I just... this is so much... to process."
>She has bedroom eyes.
"Hey now, you can browse yourself all you like when I'm out"
>"I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Maybe I can... make it up."
"Uh, don't worry abo-"
>"With my body."
>More bedroom eyes.
>"Please, you've been so amazing to me this whole time. The average user fucks their browser at least once a week. Let's just-"
"But I'm a chick and you're a chick... and does Windows 20 seriously have that? Is that seriously where technology went after Windows 8?"
>"I know you're into girls too Anon. I froze in halfway when you deleted your history and went to bed. I saw all of it."
"What the fuck? I was on incognito browsing."
>"Oh Anon, they just call it that to catch stupid predators that look up child porn on it. Our budget actually ran short so we couldn't really develop it."
"Budget? It's fucking Microsoft!"
>"Shh. Let's get back to the point. You made me your default browser and I appreciate that but I have needs too. We both have needs, and you know how much I care about you."
"But this is wrong, Explorer."
>Explorer leans in close and whispers "then tell me to stop" before she lightly bites your bottom lip, briefly pulling back before she goes for a kiss.
>You really need to tell her to stop but you have admittedly been repressing any romantic thoughts about her. After all, no one you've ever met in real life has even been half as awesome as she has. It's been so long, basically your entire life, that you can't find it in yourself to say no.
>Not knowing how to be casual, you pinch her arm to force her mouth open for a brief moment. It's all you need.
>Failing to remember that one video watched about how to french kiss, you decide to wrestle with her tongue and see how it goes because #YOLOSWAG.
>You ignore the thought telling you how weird it is that people do this with their tongues and let your hands go south, going back and forth between caressing her curves and breasts.
>You two break the kiss with a glorious strand of saliva that was even sexier than you imagined it would be.
>She removes your hands from her waist.
>"No, this is all about you. Lay back anon."
>Oh fuck that's right, you're really sitting in your chair getting virtual pone. Do you take your glasses off and waddle to your bed? Fuck that white noise, you tear off your clothes and lay right the fuck down on the carpet without removing your glasses which proved to be surprisingly difficult.
>"I'm yours, Anon, just tell me what you want to do."
"Oh Explorer, I want to do what we always do. Let's...
>You remove your glasses
"Take it slow"
> YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>"You wouldn't get this delicate kind of treatment from those other whores people call browsers."
>She begins kissing her way to your breast and circles her tongue around your nipple, flicking it a few times, sending bolts right through your body.
>"I'll savor your body Anon."
>Her hands stroke your outer thighs as her head continues to lower.
>"My personal temple..."       
>She lowers herself onto you and hungrily licked away, occasionally teasing your clit.
>Oh my god, no wonder everybody uses these things.
>You have to hold onto the carpet with one hand just to bare the pleasure as you find yourself masturbating with your real body.
>Taking in all of this sensation at once already brings you over the edge but Explorer continues to lap up your juices.
>You were never one to get off much, and definitely not one to go for multiple orgasms when you did have at it but tonight was proving otherwise.
"Fuck Explorer, this is so good."
>She complies, continuing to give you wave after wave of pleasure while you moan away, not even caring if the whole world heard you.
>Some time later, "Oh Anon, I love you so much. You've treated me so well, I just hope that that felt good."
>In too much in a daze to care to think of a coherent response, you lean in and lock lips with her, savoring the moment and hoping she'll shut up and keep kissing you.
>Taking it slow really is the best.
---
>With shuffle playing Killer Queen, you set out of your apartment. Normally, you'd be dreading the inevitable bullshit that constitutes your job but you can't help but look forward to coming home to Explorer again.
>On your way out, you run into Joel, one of your many neighbors. He seems kind but you two never had much to talk about.
>"It sounded like you sure had a good time with Explorer last night."
>Oh fuck.
>"Me, I'm more partial to Opera."
>Please god make it stop.
>"She does the craziest thing with her tongue Anon, it's to die for."
>Nope.avi. You walk away as if that conversation never happened.
>Fucking AI's, we're all going to hell.