>O-oh my g-god.
"I'm dying?"
>"Yes, you have exactly 24 hours to live."
"H-how?"
>"To progress in the story."
>Oh.
>Okay.
>Time to get drunk, call people, mug people, do drugs, and steal cars.
>Unlock your phone.
>Call parents.
>No answer.
>*beep*
"Hey, Mom and Dad! Guess what?! I'm dying! And I don't even know why!"
>Suddenly, black man.
>"Yo, nigga, gimme dat fuckin' phone befo' I cut you, homie."
>Looking up to him, you answer with one sentence.
"What the fuck did you just fucking say to m-"
>You're cut off by him stabbing you thirty one times in the chest.
>Before you die, you exclaim four more words.
"That hurts, you nigger."
>Saying this, you die happy knowing you were able to call your murderer a nigger.
>But suddenly!
>Green!
>Bright.
>Looking up, you notice, that, well...
>Ponies.
>"Darling, you simply have to let me try that halo!"
>"Hey, nice wings! Wanna race sometime?"
>"Welcome to Equestria, your new home!"
"R-really?"
>Everything turns a shade of crimson.
>Satan appears beside you.
>"Naw, i'm jus' fuckin' wit cha."
>Fucking Satan.