>Be Norman
>Lunch time
>Need to find a fucking place to sit where I won’t get murdered with Hotdog wieners or salad dressing.
>Commencing scan.
>94% threat exposure. Immediate retreat advised.
>Fuck this, I’m gonna go outside.
>”Hey, Norman! We’re on our way to take a seat, want to come with us?”
>Purple threat inbound. Retreat immediately.
>But Yellow is with her.
>”Yes Norman, would you like to-
>She said something else, but it became inaudible.
>C’mon Yellow, you can do better than that.
“What was that, again?”
>”I-I said ‘would you like to-”
“Would I like to do what?”
>”D-do you w-wan’t to sit with-with”
>couldnthandletheheat.gif.
>She blasts the fuck away from purple and me.
”What the hell was that all about?”
>”ahh its nothing, you know how Fluttershy can be sometimes”
“alright, see ya later Purple!”
>”Wait!! I-I mean, are you sure you don’t want to come and sit with us?”
>Nope, not today. I’m getting the fuck outta dodge.
>”Rarity’s sitting in our table!”
>Fuck you purple. Fuck. You. I never thought I’d come to hate you, but now I know that you’re the purest form of evil that this earth has ever held upon its face.
>But it’s totally worth it.
“Alright, whatever. Let’s go”
>She tugs my arm like a noose on a criminal’s neck.
>I spilled the goddamn tea because of it.
 
>At the table.
>Orange, Blue, Pink, Purple, Aryan, and even Yellow are there.
>Take my seat at the end.
>”Hi Norman!”
>Wave casually back at Pink.
>Awkward silence.
>A few looks of murder over me.
>Stay cool Norman.
>Chill.
>Everything’s going to be alright.
>”Uhmm… Twi. What the hell is the Racist dude doing in our table?”
>[Breathing Intensifies]
>”I invited him over”
>Orange looks straight at purple and says;
>”Twilight. What ‘re ya tryn’ to achieve with all ‘dis?”
>It seems I’m not welcome here, better leave while I still got the chance.
>Purple forces me to stay on my seat.
>”Girls, Listen. He’s none of the things that you’ve heard about him!”
>”He is easy to persuade, though”
>Pink looks at me while winking her left eye and pointing at Aryan with her right thumb
>Discussion about my presence arises at the opposite end of the table.
>Everyone’s discussing except for Yellow and the Aryan Beauty.
>Aryan hasn’t said a single word to anyone since I got here.
>She’s just sitting there looking at her nails and eying her phone simultaneously.
>I don’t even know what to think about this anymore.
>”LISTEN!!!”
>Purple is on top of the fucking table now.
>This shit turned into a pack trinitrotoluene sitting next to a lit stove.
>”EVERYONE, PLEASE!!”
>Everyone in the table stops arguing and even Aryan looks at her
>Purple clears her throat, and I catch the Aryan Beauty sinking in her seat to avoid the alien shame.
>All eyes on her.
>I’m just gonna leave while she’s got the attention.
>last bite before I bust the fuck out.
>”THIS BOY!!...IS MY BEST FRIEND!!”
>She’s pointing at me.
>I swallow to cope with the fucking tension of the situation.
>Chokingthefuckout.png
>The fucking bite betrayed me and is now murdering me.
>”HE MIGHT HAVE SAID OFFENSIVE THINGS TO YOU, YES!!”
>Need. Help. Dying.
>”HE COULD HAVE OFFENDED YOU SOMEWAY!!”
>Bang. Table. Someone.
>”HE MIGHT HAVE EVEN DONE WRONG TO YOU!!
>Help. Me. Please.
>”YES HE HAS CALLED US STRANGE BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF OUR SKIN!...
>Door. Almost. Salvation.
>”AND TO BE FAIR!! NONE OF THAT MAKES HIM-”
>”A GOOD PERSON! LET’S HANG THE RACIST!!!
>Swallow once more.
>Breathe again.
>For the last time.
>Fuck
 
>”THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT TO SAY GUYS!!
>Fucking A, perfect time for damage control Purple.
>An angry mob of students take me and lift me in the air to be taken to my judgement.
>Angry-crowd surfing is horrible.
>Why is the terrible prejudice of this school the very bane of my existence ?
>”Great view, right?”
“How the fuck did you get up here!!”
>”Twilight told me to help you, and here I am! Isn’t it cool?”
>Of all people. Fucking Brad?
>Ohh the evil.
>Well, its fucking Purple, what was I expecting?