>Be the ditzy owner of a snarky fluffy foal named Lavandar
>Be walking to the park with the little purple puff-ball
>It's a really nice day outside
>Arrive
"Well, here we are"
>See other fluffy owners
"Look Lavandar, other fluffies! Wanna go play with them?"
>He looks less-than impressed
"Wavandar is wess-dan impwessed"
>You two walk to the fluffies and their owners
>A young married couple and three other 20-something girls who all look to be good friends
>Instantly greeted by a chorus of "Hewwo", "New fwen'?", and "Wook, a babeh!"
"Hello, I'm Anon, and ths is Lavandar"
"Chawmed"
>You exchange pleasantries and salutations with the other fluffy owners
>They seem nice enough
>Turn to the fluffies
"Mind if he plays with you?"
>Prod Lavandar foward with your foot towards the other fluffies
>They burst out in joy and rush forward to give the "new fwen'" his hugs
>Sit on the bench next to the other owners, watching the fluffies play
>Get to talking about raising fluffies, their hiccups in care, even a few urban legends
"I'm telling you! I heard there's this fluffy that has only alicorn foals!"
"That's nothing, I've heard of an ice rink haunted by a blood-red fluffy and his army of unicorns!"
>Taken aback by that one
"That's just silly"
>Conversation turns to disciplinary measures
>Tell them that Lavandar has been really well-behaved since getting him
>Yeah, it's been a pretty good... day
>Mention his cussing outbursts
>The married woman speaks up
"Oh my, you'd better nip that bud before it grows out of hand. A grown, bratty, unruly fluffy is the absolute [i]worst![/i]"
>She taps her husband
"Don't you remember Stevie?"
"I remember Stevie"
>Confused
"Who's Stevie?"
>The husband looks at you and shakes his head
>Laugh it off
>Having the guise of a pushover, such is the fate of the ever-easy-goers
>Mom and Dad always worried, but now you're living a cozy life with a nice-paying job
>And one snarky fluffy
>Speaking of which
>Feel a small tug on you jean leg
"Can we tawk?"
>He looks agitated
>Wink at the other owners, and walk a distance away with Lavandar
"What's up?"
>He puts one of his hooves up to the bridge of his snout, as if to pinch it
"Dey aww waffing at my name and won' s'op wunnin' at me. Wavandar is fun-wuvving fwuffy an' patwon of natuwe, but dose animaws go too faw"
>His eyes bulge a little, and he pats his chest with a hoof
>Coughs ensue
"Awso yoo mighta given me heawtbuwn wif dat Nutewwa-onwy bweakfast"
"Fluffies can get heartburn?"
"At dis point, Wanvandar shouldn't effen be supwised by hooman's wack of wesearch"
>You did skip a few "Basic Training" theads
"Well, I'm learning quite a bit from those other fluffy owners, but if you want we can go back home now"
>He looks past your leg at the other fluffies, who wave at him patiently
>He looks back up at you
"Vewwy weww hooman"
>He trots between your legs and rejoins the other fluffies
>Smile at him and rejoin the other owners
 
--
 
>Be a purple fluffy foal
>Also be named Lavandar
>You don't like to talk about your name
>Of all the fucking idiots to adopt you...
>At least the ditz can cook
>Walk over to the other fluffies
>They're all a lot bigger than you
>You can play with them because you understand owwies come from too much fast play
>Not to say you didn't like a few rounds of super-tag back at the shelter, but still
>Walk up to a yellow wingie with orange hair
"Wavandah back!"
>They all hug you
>Hug back, smiling half-heartedly
"Otay, wess jus' wook at da twee aw find sowme gwassies aw-"
"Woger say fwuffpiwe da foaw!"
>The other fluffies cheer in agreement
"Oh poopies..."
 
--
 
>Be a very apologetic fluffy owner
>Lavandar twinges and groans every step he takes
>Were you supposed to know that fluffies like to pile on each other for general amusement?
>Were you supposed to know that the process is a known "rite of passage" for groups of fluffy friends?
>Probably
>Night dawns
>Start watching Bar Rescue while eating ice cream with Lavandar
>He's enjoying himself
>Looks like he's really getting into it
>You don't have to go to work tomorrow, so you stay up late with him
>Fuckin Jon Taffer, love that guy
"Why don' yoo buy a bar?"
"Lotta money to put into it, but a lot of money out, I guess. Thing is, a lot of management is required to get a lot more than what you put in"
"Yeah, yoo'd pwobabwy buwn down da pwace wooking at da shiny mawtini gwasses"
"Probably. Wait what?"
>He yawns
"Would ya wook at da time? Dis is nu ow-er fow a fwuffy!"
>Go upstairs and get ready for bed
>Realize he didn't follow you
>Faintly hear a foal's voice
"Nu have wingies ow good weggies, hooman!"
>Shit
 
--
 
>Wake up at 5am
>Two giant crystal-blue eyes staring at you
>Blink
>He blinks
"Pwoceed wif caw-shun today hooman; Wavandar poopie pwace smeww wike peppewmin' an' Wavandar dun' know why"
"Wait, what?"
"Wavandar pwetty fweaked out, not gonna wie"
"Why do you know what your bum smells like?"
>Pause
"...Wavandar got siwwee habids fwom shewtah. Pway yoo neva' ess-perience dem"