"So you gonna help me out?"
>"I don't like you, Anon."
"And that's perfectly valid, but this time, it actually is all your fault. So you do kind of have to help."
>"You could just deal with it."
"No, I could deal with it when it was cute ponies doing cute things. We're both assholes. This won't work."
>"I still don't know who this 'we' is."
"Murderous changeling."
>"Ha-ha, very fun--"
"His name is Chungus and he genuinely does want to beat the shit out of you so I'm going to warn you to stop being a smug bitch."
>Her unimpressed frown grows ever larger, and the corner of her mouth twitches. "Right. And how could a changeling get in you?"
"Are you implying you wouldn't let a changeling inside you if he asked? Come on, Twilight. We all know."
>"That's not what I meant."
"I don't hear you denying it!"
>"That's because you wouldn't care."
>You hold your arms up in the air
"THANK YOU! See, Chungus, this is what I have to reduce you to."
>Chungus stared directly into Twilight's eyes, expressionless
'You're not going to ACTUALLY kill her, right? I need her. If she dies, then I'm on good terms with over half the ponies here. That's terrible!'
>'I wouldn't actually kill her. I do want to slap her."
'I want to surgically remove her shitty personality.'
>'I want her to clean every latrine in the changeling army's outposts consequatively.'
'I want to tell her to shit herself and sit in that shit until she gets really itchy.'
>You stare off in to space, before a throat-clearing jolted you out of your daze
"God damnit, Twilight, I have 99 problems and you are 36 of them. You need to fix this."
>"Tomorrow."
>You sigh.
"Fine. I'll be in the guest room."
>"What? No you wont! Get out of my home! Go to Fluttershy's place or something!"
"Uh, about that, I can't because changeling--"
>Not a moment passed before you were on the doorstep of the castle, bright pinkish-purple light fading from your vision
"Alright, fuck you too TwittleShite Spunkle."
 
 
 
>You stand up, walking away from the castle.
>Fuck.
>Staying with Flutters is probably out of the question
>Dash is almost definitely already asleep and you don't want to be a prick and wake her
>You do want to be a prick to Rarity, and she would be harmony-bound to let you sleep there, but that's a bit too dickish for you
>Man. You really are making progress.
>The only option is Pinkie.
>Words that were spoken more than you'd think, and more than you'd hope
>While there was still enough rays of light to see, you hopped into the air and glided through the streets
>You turn to the street, only to see Sugarcube Corner dark, all the lights off.
>Fuck. With your luck, Pinkie has some party planned for the morning.
>'We'll be sleeping outside, then.'
'I'm not a fucking barbarian, Chungus The Fungus.'
>'I've had to sleep outside most my life. You're lucky if you ever even get a tent.'
'You have to have pants for that, dipshit.'
>'W-...No. Yes. Okay, I accept. You're right.'
'No I am not you intellectual coward.'
>You turn your head to see there's still a house with lights on. You vaguely recognize it, but you're not sure why.
>You slide up to it, and hear arguing voices from the window
>You can barely make out "Just because the library burnt down doesn't mean you can keep your books forever, Lyra!"
>"There's no one to return them to! I get to keep my moeshit books forever!"
>"What's a moeshit?!"
>Perfect.
>You knock on the door, and you hear them trying to whisper and obviously failing as they argue over who should get up and open the door
>Eventually they both open it, and Bonbon immediately starts to close it
>You hold out your hoof and keep the door open, and Lyra huffs, elbowing her roomate/'best friend'/fuckbuddy.
>"That's not very nice." She turned back to you. "What's up?"
"I need a place to stay for the night."
 
 
>"Uh...I'm sure there's a inn around the corn--"
"CHECK OUT THIS SHIT"
>You pull back your hoof, and transform it in a flash of green, into a five-fingered awkward chubby horse-hand
>Lyra opens the door wider. "Alright get in."
>"Lyra! That's a changeling!"
>You point at Bonbon, wagging your finger.
"Not 'a' changeling, a lich AND a changeling."
>Lyra nodded, proudly grinning. "I guessed as much!"
>Bonbon snickers at the quip, covering her mouth
>How come Lyra gets laughs and everyone just hates you?
>Fucking cyborgs. Normie or fun. Pick one.
"So anyways I'm gonna go sleep on the couch now."
>"Wait! You have to teach me out to do that!"
>You shrug.
"Become undead using various ash-like alchemical ingredients related to changelings inside a jar."
>"If that's what it takes!"
>Bonbon sighed. "I'm not letting you kill yourself to become some magical creature, Lyra."
"Worked for me."
>
>"I--Still! That's too much of a risk!"
"Suicide is painless. It brings on many changes."
>"Get ahold of yourself!"
>You chuckle and walk in, Lyra closing the door behind you.
"Say, Chungus, you got any tips for a poor unicorn in the wrong body?"
>He let out a low growl, teeth becoming more fang-like. "I don't like this."
"I don't like you!"
>You turn the frown into a grin, popping your appearance into that of a changeling
"C'moon! I'll even let you feel at home!"
>He immediately changes back. "I'm not going to--"
"I'm bringing out the porn again."
>"I YIELD! I yield!" He jumped back, wings flared out and ready to take off.
"Good, Chunguluffagus, good. You're halfway to being my bitch already."
>You look to the side, Bonbon's terrified expression and Lyra's shining eyes both bolstering your self confidence.
 
 
 
 
 
>You could tell Chungus was uncomfortable, skin crawling as he tried to change back into you. "Just focus on your hoof for now."
>You didn't let him, of course. That would be too easy.
>Lyra held her hoof in front of her face, locking eyes on it intensely.
>"Alright, now what?"
>"Now change your hoof into a hand."
>You exhale quickly, trying to hold back a lurching laughter. Lyra, however, takes it completely seriously.
>She grits her teeth and her horn starts to glow a light golden, but nothing happens.
>"It's not working!"
>Chungus sighed. "Okay, let's start baby steps. Try changing the color of your hoof."
>Lyra frowned. "I don't think it'll work like this. I don't have any direction to put the magic."
>He looked to the ceiling, humming lowly. "I admit, it's been many years since I was taught the remedial aspects of shapeshifting. I don't quite remember all of it."
>"Hum..." She a hoof on her chin.
"Fuck it, then. Tell her the advanced theorems and shit."
>Chungus blinked. "Um. Okay. I suppose it's a lot like acting, from what I understand of pony culture. You have to pretend you're someone else. In a way, you kind of have to fool yourself."
"Man, it must be really easy for a guy like you."
>He was silent for a moment, before it clicked. "Hey!"
"Hay is for horses you changeling fuck."
>"I'm going to kill you once I'm--Son of a bitch."
>You feel a warm pride overtaking you, and Chungus covers his mouth and burps.
>"Wow, you...actually genuinely love being an asshole. That's concerning."
"Be thankful for the food and get to work."
 
>After at least an hour, Bonbon finally tapped her friend on the shoulder. "We need to get to sleep."
>Lyra hung her head. "Yeah. I guess so. I never got it down, though."
"Ah, don't worry about that. I'm sure it takes more than a hour of practice to get it down."
>"Not really." Chungus said, "It takes just about that long to get a perfect disguise."
"Wow. Fuck you, dude. Anyways can we sleep on the couch?"
 
 
 
 
>Bonbon heavily sighed, and Lyra handed you a blanket "Yeah. Sure. Just get out when you wake up."
"Can do, boss!"
>You raise your hole-y hoof your forehead and scuttle yourself onto the couch, chittering and buzzing on the way
>Being a bug is more fun than you'd think.
>Apparently still gross, though, and you can see Bonbon barely containing her disgust
>You enhance your face, blinking with bright reflective eyes and a childlike smile, hiding your nose under the covers
>She covered her mouth and nearly retches, and Lyra held her hooves together at the side of her face. "Awww!"
>Once they ascended the stairs, you stretch out, and look up at the ceiling.
>'You're pretty good at mooching off people.'
'You're good at being a poser. I mean, I know what you said about me was sarcastic, but I'm genuinely congratulating you.'
>'...Why are you being nice?'
'Why wouldn't I be? You're a valued friend of mine.'
>'What?'
'I know I sometimes seem like a jerk. I'm really sorry about that. It's not your fault you're stuck with me, after all.'
>'That's...really nice of yo--'
'I'm just kidding. You sound like a faggot.'
>'Why did I think you meant--'
'Nah I'm just messing you. I do mean it, I just can't help myself from joking.'
>'I...suppose I understand. In either case, thank--'
'You really are cancer though.'
>'You lit--'
'I'm joking with you with you! Haha, really!'
>'I--"
'But you are a insect version of herpes.'
>'Wh--'
'Nah, I'm jesting! Having a giggle! A chuckle. A guffaw! I do like you!'
>'I'm going to sleep.'
>Before you could respond, you feel him immediately conk out, into a deep sleep. Huh. Sounds like a useful ability.
>You snuggle down into a crevice in the couch, closing your own eyes
>You see in your mind's eye Chungus' dream, a seeming distant recollection of his training in the hive
>Chrysalis herself is giving a lecture on 'becoming your enemy.' You figure you'll sit around and listen until you fall asleep yourself.
 
 
 
 
>Although you didn't quite notice at first, it rapidly became clear to you that you were still unconscious
>Your body was small and lanky, somewhere between childlike and adolescent
>Still completely changeling, though. Around you, various others buzzed through the strange architecture
>You weren't quite sure if the non-euclidean buildings were a side effect of the dreaming or how the hive actually looked in reality
>Chungus' mind was quietly ringing, and you couldn't shake the feeling of being in a haze.
>You tried to ask if he was awake, but either he didn't respond, or you were too distracted to actually send the message. Slowly you lose your lucidity
>He stood up, and awkwardly stumbled through the street
>Several bats, snakes, weasels, and other generally-considered pests moved along the upside-down walkways and flight paths of their owners
>Fluttershy would be proud. Actually, it just hit you, they probably would use pets as a food source.
'So, you got a pet, Chungy?'
>"W-what?! Who said that?"
>Ah! Now he heard you. Time to fuck with him.
'Giant spider, zombified golem, a bubonic plague cell the size of a small dog. Something equally nasty.'
>"N-no, I don't have a pet yet." He looked wildly around the streets, backing up into a wall. The landscape started dimming and becoming sharper
>His high pitched voice was getting on your nerves. You hate children.
'Good, you can be my pet'
>"I'm not sure I want to be your pet..."
'That's what they all say. But a flash of the monkey D changes their minds. Or doesn't. You're getting it either way.'
>"I need an ad--"
'I AM AN ADULT.'
>You can barely retain your laughter, and Chungus gasps, starting to run away
>The dreamscape around you shifts and contorts, shadows turning pitch plack and pointed, the other passerbys either gone or shifted into disembodied monsterish gazes
 
 
 
>His lungs pump at full capacity, and you can feel your legs burning
>He cycles through dozens of disguises, trying to duck between an alleyway or behind a box, but every hiding place seems to retreat from him
>Eventually Chrysalis steps out from a yellow and green haze. She held her arm out and grabbed you, pulling you to her chest.
>"Chungus, you made me so afraid!"
>Oh my fuck he actually internalized that name
>He stepped back. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...I just got lost. It was like everything was flipped or upside down."
>"You should be careful, sweetie. Spirits like him are up to no good. All they do is make trouble. I don't think this is the place for you."
>"W-what?! No, mom! It was just one little fight!"
>"I'm sorry son, but you have to move. I'm assigning you to your aunt and uncle in Bel Mare."
 
 
>You jump straight up, spine tingling and sweat running down your exoskeleton
>You look to the right and left. You're on the couch again
"No."
>You're not sure why, but you felt compelled, as if you had to say that. Chungus nodded his head, "No." he affirmed.
>
>
"Yeah. No."
>You stand up, looking at the morning rays of the sun entering through the living room window. It doesn't seem like Lyra or Bonbon are up yet
>Looking down and seeing your exposed changeling arms sent a shiver down your spine, and you switch back to your regular style
>You fold the blanket and leave it on the couch, and get a glass of water, sipping it down and leaving the home.
>You figure that you're probably the last thing Bonbon would want to see early in the morning, after all.
>Walking down the street, not too many ponies are out yet. That's okay, though. You kind of need some silence right now.