>By the time you finally get his trail, half the celebration is already over.
>He's pretty good at hiding himself. Also you're really bad at paying attention.
>Pretty colors distract you pretty easily. It's kind of sad, really.
>However, you finally followed him back to Sugarcube corner
>Before you can catch up to him, he disappears inside, leaving a crowd of uninteresting waifu fodder in your way
>The crowds are too thick to travel through, and you're pretty sure he's stuck in there too, so you'll wait it out rather than have your ephemeral body cramped.
>You look to the side, and see Luna happily perusing Applejack's stand.
>Floating over, Applejack's eyes meet yours for a moment, and return to Luna
>She suddenly looks back, and an unmistakable shadow of dread crosses her face. Your grin intensifies.
"Heya, you two!"
>"Howdy, Anon..."
>Luna smiled. "Oh, greetings again, Princess Anon."
"How's business been, Applejack?"
>She seemed slightly more at ease. "Purty good, if I do say so!"
"Indeed."
>You looked to Luna.
"So let's talk about wet dreams."
>The princess coughed, covering her mouth before any apple crumbs could fly out.
"Where do you get off on getting off about gits getting off?"
>"I-I did not expect such a question--"
"I'm not judging! I'm just saying, you've probably seen some freaky shit. How MANY dicks do you see on a single girl on the average night?"
>She sighed. "More than you'd hope, but less than you'd think."
>"Princess!?" Applejack's mouth hung agape.
>Luna winced. "I apologize. I've not been in a mood befitting of me."
"What's wrong?"
>She looked around the street. "It's the celebration. It's not that I don't enjoy to be here more often, I do, but it's a little...awkward."
"Awkward?"
>"Everyone is celebrating my banishment." She looked you in the eye. "You are eating cookies because I was evil and banished. It's not your fault. But it's awkward."
 
 
 
 
>Applejack averted her eyes up and scratched the back of her head. "Uhhhh..."
>Time for a rapid change in subject before the awkwardness cubed between you, Luna, and Chungus consumes this plane of existance.
"How many vaginas have you seen on one man?"
>Applejack smacked her forehead and groaned. "Okay--no, Anon, you are going to scare away my customers. You have to leave."
>Luna looked back to the corner shop, drawing your gaze to it as well. A momentary opening through the crowd formed, and you waved to the two of them.
"Alright, I have more people's days to ruin anyways. See you two later."
>Before they can say much of anything, you grab a slice of apple from the stand, and then float off.
>You weave through the ponies and into the shop, finding your way to a large table where Celestia and Twilight sat, chatting with various townsponies.
>It's kind of nice how homey it feels. No one seems to be too nervous about the situation, other than the Cakes.
>Before you can look for Chungus, you feel a tapping on your shoulder, and turn to face Pinkie Pie herself.
>"Hi, Anon! How has the day been going for you?"
"Better than I expected. But I have reeeeally low expectations. You've done well, though."
>She grinned. "Thank you! But could I possibly ask you for a favour?"
"Sure, I do owe you for all the ingredients you've found. Thanks for that, by the way."
>"No problemo, Nonny!"
>Oh god, she's started the pet names.
>"So, I need your help with Chungus. He spent almost the whole week crammed in his room, and he's always nervous about talking to ponies."
"So he's just a more managable version of me?"
>She sticks her bottom lip out. "Well, sort of...but he's not having any fun! If he can't loosen up during my party, then I won't be able to make him happy to be here!"
>You nod, humming to yourself. She continues, "Could you help me get him to be more honest about himself? If he doesn't have anything to hide, maybe he'll stop being scared!"
 
 
 
"That sounds like the worst idea that could have a positive outcome. Yeah, sure. It's worth a try! I'll get that ghost out of his shell."
>"Great! Thank you, Nonny! I've gotta get back to work, though. See you in a bit!"
>She bounced off and into the gathering of socially adept miscreants
>That's okay. You don't need them. You have a life to ruin in the name of making it better.
>In the crowd, you can't really see Chungus anywhere, so you sit down and close your eyes, thinking very clearly in your head.
'Hey Chungus, I have a great idea. You hear? Get over here.'
>After a few moments, he appeared out of seemingly nowhere, and walked up to you. "What's up?"
'I want to make fun of Celestia's age.'
>"That's a terrible idea. That's stupid. You're stupid. Stop being stupid."
>You roll your eyes, and continue thinking loudly in your head.
'What's the worst that can happen?'
>"To put it simply, the least-worst thing that can happen is you get banished. And the Hive sure as hell isn't taking you in, technical royalty or not."
'Yeah, but...Fuck you. Okay, now that that's out of my system, I have a serious thing I need to pitch to you. Pinkie said--'
>"I'm going back to my room."
>"Hey," A girlish voice caught your attention, and you turned to see a cream-colored pony with pinkish-red hair. "Is everything okay, Ms. Pegasus? Is this guy bothering you?"
>You cover a snorting laugh and Chungus' mouth starts working before sound even comes out. Roseluck raised an eyebrow. "N-no, you don't understand, I--"
"Don't worry, he's just a Changeling. Sometimes we speak telepathically."
>He stuffed his hoof in your mouth. "I'm not a Changeling! She's just joking!"
>She narrowed her eyes, and then glanced back to the princesses.
"No he's totally a Changeling."
>She gasped, screamed "Bonbon was right!", and quickly ran to the table, causing the various ponies to look up
 
 
 
>Chungus pulled on his hair, hyperventilating. "Oh Mother please no. Do you know what they'll do to me?! Do you know how many elements of harmony are going to be on my ass at once?!"
"Six. More than enough to kill anything that's dead."
>He started to rush upstairs, but you just manage to summon your essence, and extend a ectoplasmic hand out of your hoof, tripping him to the floor.
"This will be good for you! Stop fighting! I will exorcise the antisocial NEET out of your ghost!"
>A shared gasp and the screeching of a music record stopping echos through the room, as all eyes turn to the both of you.
>"Awhhh, Anon, you fuckin' killed me, man..."
"No, you love it. Can't get enough of it."
>He covered his eyes and curled up, and started shaking. You simply leaned down and whispered in his ear.
"Shhh. Shhhh. You look like a gigantic Chungus on the floor like that."
>"What the FUCK does Chungus mean?!"
>You reach down your hoof, booping him on the nose.
"Don't be a silly fucking shithead. Now drop your pants. Disguise. Whatever."
>Celestia rose from her seat, and cleared her throat, commanding the attention of each pony in the room. Chungus immediately started to dash, but you kept him in place.
>"My little ponies, do not be afraid. And do not be angry. While it is true that a Changeling is in our midst, I would think we all have learnt our lessons about hating people for being different."
>Chungus slowly lifted his hooves from his eyes, and shifted back into his normal appearance, sniffling
"It's okay, Chungus. I cried my first time, too."
>"Yeah, I get it, you're metaphorically fucking me."
"No, I mean I cried when I realized my friends didn't actually secretly hate me. Still gets me teary-eyed occasionally."
>You raised his head up, and his eyes scanned the uncomfortable faces of the ponies around him.
>Each wearily smiled in turn, and the Princesses and Pinkie gave encouraging nods.
>He stood up, and dusted himself off. "U-um...H-hello. I'm Chungus, I guess..."
 
 
 
 
>A few ponies in the crowd uneasily replied with "Hello, Chungus.", but most stayed silent. He paused for a moment, looking between all of them. You leaned in and whispered
"Keep going, faggot. I'm losing my boner."
>He gulped. "I'll be leaving soon, don't worry. I'm just here to negotiate with the Princess and go back to the Hive."
>Bonbon raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "Negotiate? About what?"
"Oh, me and him are singlehandedly bringing peace to the world."
>Chungus nodded quickly. "Y-yes, well, I am trying to help efforts to stabilize the relationship between the Hive and Equestria."
>A few looks between the crowd, and a few began to smile. This seemingly emboldened him, and he continued. "I understand your feelings, but rest assured, I won't decieve anyone."
>Bonbon sighed and went back to the cupcake she was eating. Afterwards, the rest of the ponies seemed to be less on edge, and a few approached.
>"So, the Hive is willing to be friendly?" A stallion asked, pleasantly surprised. Chungus' eye twitched.
>"From our perspective, we've always been quite loving. But yes, I believe it's in everyone's best interests to diplomatically align."
>You pat him on the back, and subtly abandon him to his fate of being forced to talk to a bunch of shitty background characters. He shoots a pleading glance to you
>You merely grin, shake your head, and walk away.
>Sitting down on the left side of Celestia and right side of Pinkie, you sigh and take a sip from a cup filled with root beer.
>Pinkie bounced in place. "Ohmygosh, I didn't think you could get him to come out like that! Not that you aren't capable, but I just thought it would be super tough!"
"It's kind of a basement dweller thing. You just need to know how to talk to us. If you distract us enough with stupid stuff, it will distract us out of our denial and pessimism. Also I physically forced him into it. That helps."
 
 
 
 
>Celestia chuckled, and the door opened. Luna, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash walked in. Once the Princess saw you with the cup, she frowned. "That was mine."
"I'm glad you said 'was.' You catch on quickly, Princess Luna."
>Fluttershy narrowed her eyes, and you sighed, then gave up your seat to the Princess of the Night.
"I apologize."
>Fluttershy happily sit on the other side of the table, along with Dash. You walked over to the two pegasai and Rainbow snickered. "You're already whipped."
>You sighed and sit next to them, and Fluttershy proudly smiled
>Celestia turned to Twilight. "So, Princess, to get the story straight, how did you manage to come across Anon and Chungus?"
"You didn't just tell her with a letter?"
>Celestia gave a defensive grin. "W-well, I didn't ask for it, because I wanted to hear in pers--"
>Spike popped a gem in his mouth, sitting next to Twilight. "It's because Twilight's written reports are dry enough to put Saddle Arabia to shame. No one wants to read that."
>Huh. When did he get here?
>Oh. Oh wow. He's been here the entire time, hasn't he?
>You kind of feel bad for criticizing the show about his portrayal. Damn, he's forgettable.
>Celestia nodded. "Yes, basically."
>Twilight cleared her throat, as if unaware of the insult. "Well, I first came across Anon while he was a haunt in my castle."
>The royal sisters looked at eachother, and then back to her. "He's actually a ghost?" Luna asked
>"Indeed! And revolutionarily, if I do say so myself, I managed to use Starswirl's Magic Jar spell to encapsulate his soul into a physical object, and used various ingredients to give him the magic to form a body."
>Celestia's eyes widened and her pupils shrunk. Luna continued, just as shocked. "What...ingredients?"
>Twilight scratched the back of her head. "Hm. Some adhesive nightshade paste, leftover pheonix ash, and Pinkie convinced me to add chocolate chips to entice his spirit to stay there."
>Rainbow banged her hooves on the table. "I knew it!"
 
 
 
>Twilight continued. "Those basic ingredients helped hold his soul, but to give him control over astral projection into physical being, I added shavings from one of Zecora's wand-oak trees, Changeling ashes--"
>"Hold up!" Celestia nearly yelled. "You used Changeling ashes?!"
>Rainbow blinked, a blank expression on her face.
>Twilight looked from side to side. "Y-yes, it was the only way I could think to give him a body! And I didn't think the ashes would--I didn't think they would mind..."
>"Twilight!" Luna put a hoof to her mouth, appalled. "Those are the dark arts! THat's necr---"
>You slammed your hooves down, leaning over the table.
"WOULD--"
>Fluttershy put a hoof on your shoulder. "Please, honey, no."
"W-WOULD YOU SAY--"
>Rainbow shook her head. "No. No, don't fucking do it."
>You crawled onto the table looking between the sisters
"WOULD YOU SAY SHE'S..."
>You put your arms around them, pulling them both close.
>"Anon, don't do this to us. You don't have to do this." Luna whispered, horrified.
"WOULD YOU SAY THAT SHE'S..."
>You pull them closer, until your cheek presses up against them
"...a neighcromancer."
>Celestia pulled back. "Anon I am officially revoking your title of Princess."
"It was fucking worth it."
>She nodded sternly. "I agree."
>You felt shakey hooves cling on to your back leg, and looked down to find Chungus looking back up to you. "Help me. I hate people."
>Pinkie frownd and slid under the table to your side, and picked him up. "What's wrong, Chungus? Did you have fun?"
>He put one arm around the other. "There were a bunch of polite ponies and they asked me about myself and they were smiling and..."
>He buried his face in Pinkie's shounder, shaking even harder. "It feels weeeird."
>Fluttershy giggled, patting you on the back. "I remember when you were the same way."
>You ignored her, leaning to the Changeling, elongating your syllables in a mocking tone
"How does it feeeeeel, Chungus? To be a bitchhh."
 
 
 
 
>After quite a while of calming him down, the celebration eventually ended, and the Royal Sisters bid their goodbyes
>Your war crime of a joke managed to make them forget to punish Twilight, and you fully expect to hold this over her for the rest of her life.
>You all waved to them as they left, and the crowds dispersed back to their homes.
>"Alright!" Pinkie said, "Now we can get this party STARTED!"
>"Whatd'ya mean?" Rainbow yawned, stretching out.
>She kicked open the door to Sugarcube corner, causing a banner to fall down that read 'Welcome to Ponyville, Chungus!'
>"Welcome to ponyville Pinkie Parties have a one week deadline! Otherwise they're not really a welcome, just a 'Thanks for being here', which comes later!"
>Chungus awkwardly looked to the side, eyes still pink from crying. "I'm not sure I can deal with more parties..."
>"Aw, don't worry yourself, sugarcube!" Applejack elbowed him softly. "it'll just be the eight of us!"
>"And me." Spike grumbled.
>"Oh, shoot! Yeah, of course."
>Chungus smiled softly. "Alright, sounds good."
>They each went in, you and Chungus last.
"So, how does it actually feel?"
>His smile grew. "It actually feels really nice."
"Yeah. It feels pretty damn great."
>It seemed an almost instant transformation, from open parade-side establishment to homey comfortable living room.
>Pinkie expertly pulled a cake out of the oven just in time, dark brownish-black with a yellowy-green icing on it.
>"Aw man, you even got my favourite color. Thanks for putting so much care into it, Pinkie."
>She giddly pranced in place, giggling. "It's my favourite thing!"
>You put an arm around him.
"We all care about you, Chunghole. Except Twilight."
>He glared at Twilight. "Yeah, fuck you."
 
 
>She ran her hooves through her hair, looking between the two of you. "Wh--but--I--I do care--"
>The both of you cracked up laughing, and he waved a hoof. "Just joking." She grunted and crossed her arms, and Fluttershy went over and started apologizing for the both of you.
>He wiped an errant tear from his eye. "Thanks, Anon. You didn't have to help me, but you did. Thanks."
"Don't get gay about this."
>He grinned and nodded. "I'll stop being gay when you grow a non-metaphorical pair."
>You sighed and hugged him for a moment, then pulled back. "I'm gonna miss you, man."
>His face dropped to the table, expression softening. "You think...I could stick around for a while?"
>"That would be super-duper amazing, Chungus!" Pinkie bounced in place. "But, and I'm really sorry, you can't really stay here. The twins need their room, after all."
>He nodded solemnly, and Rarity hummed. "Well, I have room to spare, and I wouldn't leave a friend in need! Plus, you could definitely come in handy as a model."
>He looked up, eyes sparkling. "R-really?!"
>"Of course, darling! Generosity is my policy!"
"Awright, Chungus! I get to annoy you for the rest of your afterlife!"
>He wiped his eyes again. "I'm just...really glad you care."
 
>The party went on without a hitch, and eventually you all left, Chungus with Rarity, and you with Fluttershy
>On the way back, she hummed happily, and you were content to listen, watching the sky slowly darken. The stars started shining just as the sun went down, into a sparkling dusk
>As soon as you got inside, she clung to you, hugging with all of her plushy might.
>"I'm so proud of you, Anon. I didn't know where you were going at first, but you really did try to help. And you did."
"I didn't even realize it myself, for a while. But he's so much like me. And the longer I was around him...the more I realized that if I let his loneliness take hold, he would end in the same way I did. There's no way I could let that happen, after what all of you did for me."
>She held you tighter. "You really died because...I'm sorry for what happened to you. I was lucky. Rainbow and the others forced their way into my life to save me from my shyness."
>She shivered against you, and you pulled her face up to yours, planting a quick kiss.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I have all the people here, now. I have you, now. I'm happier than I ever thought I'd be. That's pretty good, in my book."
>She smiled and nodded, no question in your mind that she understood. "It's amazing to see how far you've come."
"And I'm gonna keep coming, IF YOU GET MY MEANING, OH HO HOOOO!"
>"Yes, you are."
>You blinked
"Wait, you--"
>She silenced you with a kiss
>Being dead fuckin' rocks.