_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
It was rare for Spike to return to Ponyville these days, but at the urging of others, he had decided to reluctantly accept his vacation time as a chance to wander down Memory Lane. (Memory Lane being second only to Main Street as a through-way in Ponyville).
 
The night was clear, but Spike's paranoia would not be shaken from is roost on in his mind. He was certain now he was being watched. Followed. And he was sure was by no old friends of his. One of Cheerlie's demons, perhaps?
 
The night's quiescence being shattered by the report of a rifle shot dismissed that theory.
 
As adrenaline flooded Spike's veins, time seemed to reach a crawl as he spun out of his center line just in time to see a randomly placed barrel of sugar explode into a powdery blast. In the distance he caught the glimmer of a scope lens and began to zig and zag from cover to cover to narrowly evade the slugs.
 
By the the time he reached his assailant, he was covered in small cuts and the lights of various homes had lit up with waking ponies.
 
As Spike closed the gap further, too close for the anti-material rifle to effectively be used, he watched his attacker rise up and seize a knife from it's belt, preparing for Spike's charge.
 
Taking a chance, Spike drew out Charity from her holster to block the knife's blade and make a few, quick shots at the head of his opponent, sending the would-be assassin tumbling to the ground.
 
Breathing hard, Spike took the knife for himself and kicked the rifle away before moving closer to his fallen opponent. They seemed to be wearing some kind of powered armor, and the pieces of the pony that were exposed revealed advanced cybernetics.
 
Twilight's work, he was sure.
 
As a gathering of townsfolk soon joined Spike, the visor of the helmet flared to life and a wild attack sent Spike leaping back.
 
The cracked helmet fell away to reveal...
 
"Brad?"
 
The blue maned and orange coated pony lost the malice in his mechnical eyes and asked: "Brad?"
 
"What kind of a name is Brad?" a few of the gathered ponies asked.
 
"Who's Brad, brother?" Flam asked from inside the airship and turned to Flim
 
"I don't know." The two brothers then looked to their benefactor who shrugged.
 
In the Canterlot ballroom some Changelings watching repeated these questions.
 
"Anyone know who Brad is?"
 
"Dudes, Brad's the name of Twilight Sparkle's generic love interest in Equestria Girls. You know, when she went to the human world?"
 
"You watched that shit?"
 
"You're dead to us!"
 
Back in Ponyville, Spike snapped his fingers. "Right! That's the name of your human version!" ignoring how much more confused everyone around him became at that statement.
 
"Let's see... Uhh... Barry Allan?" Spike ventured then shook his head. "No. Wally West? Something with an 'F'..."
 
As he worked it out, the assassin seemed to make a 'getting warmer' gesture.
 
Spike snapped his fingers. "Flash! Ahah! Flash Gordon! No? Damn! Okay, Flash Thompson?"
 
"C'mon! Those aren't even pony names!"
 
"Right, sorry... Uhh... Flash Drive? Flash Light? Flash Engineer- FLASH SENTRY!"
 
"Yes!"
 
"Right, so... Flash, why are you trying to kill me?"
 
Flash blinked than shook his head. "No! Listen! I wasn't- Or, I didn't want to! I'm being-"
 
"Flam?"
 
The mustached brother hit the 'override switch', causing Flash's eyes to spark red back in Ponyville.
 
"*BZZT!* CONTROL OVERRIDE ACTIVATED! Shut me off! Someone shut me- RETURNING TO BASE!"
 
Spike, along with a dozen other eyes blinked in confusion as the cybenetic Flash Sentry flew off into the night.
 
"Okay, Twilight's definitely got to know this..." spike muttered to himself and left.
 
Later that night though, a 'dark' (actually pink) figure returned to the site of the battle and took the discarded anti-material rifle for their own sinister purposes.
(Hint: it's diamond tiara and she wants to use it on 56)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>???
"???"
-???-
~~~~~~~~
 
>Oh yeah, you like that, don't you? Ooooh, you feel that smooth feeling all over you, Sexy? You know you like it. You know you like it when I rub all along you.
 
...
 
>Oh! Don't be like that. No need to get so... rattled. I'll take good care of you. Yeah, you feel that? You like that rubbing? Don't you lie, Sexy, I know you do. You want more? Well, if you insist. You've gotta be careful, though... you'll put a ponies eye out with that-
 
"WHAT THE FUCK!?"
 
*BOOOM!*
 
>...Daddy! This isn't what it looks like!
 
"Is that your ROCKET LAUNCHER!?"
 
>I was just polishing him-IT! I was polishing IT I meant!
 
"You just blew off a chunk of your wall!"
 
>He goes off early when startled!
 
"...Diamond Tiara, you are going to stay right here in your room, and you are not to move until I get back."
 
>Where are you going?
 
"That is for me to know. Now SIT."
 
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
"Hi, Mister Changeling, I've failed horrifically as a parent and wish to partake in your crying corner to let out my shame and regret, may I?"
 
-Take a number.-
 
"...This is a rather large number."
 
-Yeah, it gets like this every Wednesday or so. You get used to it. I'd say get comfortable, Princess Celestia found out what her sister has been spending the Astronomy funds for.-
 
"Was it cake?"
 
-It was cake.-
 
"I feel her pain, I really, really do."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Cadance
“AJ2”
‘Chrysalis’
-Crystal Guard-
___________
 
‘Okay, can someone tell me how I wound up in the kitchen again?’
 
-You know, for once, I second the bug thing.-
 
‘Watch it, soldier boy, or you’ll find yourself smothered underneath this booty.’
 
-I don’t… am I supposed to be afraid or excirted? I’m so confused.’
 
“I rounded them all up for you, Caddy!”
 
>My little helper, you are! I knew you could do it!
 
-She wibble-lipped me! That’s unsanctioned weaponry!-
 
“That one talks funny!”
 
Cadance suddenly whipped around, wearing a bright pink apron and sporting a tray of muffins. Muffins that were blacker than pitch and oozing some unholy green slime.
 
>Now, you’re all here to be my official taste-testers. A proper wife should know how to cook and, unfortunately, that’s one of the areas I need some dire help in.
 
-That muffin in the back has a tentacle sticking out of it. That’s… why is there a tentacle sticking out of it?-
 
>So, before I get down to the serious recipes, I figured I’d start simple! After reading up some, I found out that most beginners start with confectionaries, specifically muffins. You two are going to taste them and give me your honest opinion, okay? I worked really hard on these, took me forever to get the right amount of oil and pepper flakes but I think they came out great!
 
-Not even for all the bits in the world. I’d sooner tell Two that marchmalley’s no longer exist.-
 
“WHAT?”
 
>He’s joking, sweetie.
 
“Oh. OH. Don’t do that! Marchmalley’s are eternal!”
 
-Yes they are, princess.-
 
‘Wait, wait, wait. Okay, joke’s over, candyass. Hahaha, you almost got me. You can’t really expect us to EAT those- MMPH!’
 
>First one goes to you, Chrysalis! So? Tell me, tell me! They’re good, right?
 
‘…’
 
“…”
 
>…Chrysalis?
 
-Oh sweet Celestia, you killed her! Murder! Murder in the castle! SOMEONE GET THE GUARD!-
 
“But you are the guard, silly!”
 
-Oh, right.-
 
“And not-mom’s not dead, she’s just not awake right now!”
 
>I think I added a bit too much ketchup, that’s probably what knocked her unconscious. Ah well, back to the oven! Well, at least I’ve still got you to taste-test, right guard? Guard? Where’d he go?
 
“Ummm, he went screaming down the hallway….”
 
>Shoot! Well, Two, would you be a dear and gather up some more tasters for me? There’s more marchmalley’s in it for you!
 
“Yaay!”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>DT
"SS"
'56'
-AB-
[SB]
~SL~
~~~~~
 
Another day, another-
 
*BOOM!*
 
>RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!
 
"WHHHHYYYYYY!"
 
'I can run faster than yooou!'
 
-DANG IT 56 IT AIN'T A RACE!-
 
~Yeah, cause you're losing!~
 
[Wait, how does that work? If we're losing we're not racing? Your logic is flawed!]
 
>SHUT UP AND JUMP!
 
They all landed hard just outside the school, along with the rest of the class. Well, the rest of the class save Snips, who barely made it halfway before he was dragged right back inside by a long, slithering red tentacle.
 
-Oh no, it got Snips!-
 
>That's what he gets for trying to get out of detention.
 
"DT!"
 
>I never liked Snips, I admit that.
 
"What happened to our cover-fire!?"
 
>Stupid ATE my rockets!
 
'I may have made a slight mistake in thinking they were pixie sticks. But I feel anyone could have made that mistake. It's a common misconception.'
 
-No it ain't!-
 
>Blankflank? I've got this. NO IT ISN'T YOU STUPID, INEPT, ILLITERATE BUG MONSTER!
 
"Whoa!"
 
-Yeah DT, over the line, illiteracy ain't a joke.-
 
'It's just so hurtful...'
 
>Oh come on!
 
~And also, the whole "Bug monster" thing? Kind of racist.~
 
[The nice lady in the "Don't be a jerk" video would be ashamed!]
 
'My species is not a nickname!'
 
"Poor thing."
 
>SS, you're supposed to be on my side!
 
"How can I, when you're so HURTFUL!"
 
>It's either that, or no more cover fire!"
 
"...Well, when you think about it, they call each other bug monsters all the time."
 
-Yeah, iffin' it was so hurtful, why do they use it?-
 
~And how is he supposed to get better with reading if nobody pushes him forward with encouraging words?~
 
[It's for his own good.]
 
'Oh no! The tide has turned against me! Give me the rocket launcher, I have to win them back!'
 
>NO YOU IDIOT DON'T!
 
*BOOM!*
 
"..Same time tomorrow?"
 
-Do we have a choice?-
 
A large, deep growling noise behind her was her only answer.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Cadence"
~~~~~
 
>Sweetie! What happened!?
 
"Chrysalis dumped a cake on my head."
 
>But why? It looks like it actually came out great!
 
"Mostly because I didn't make it."
 
>So, why...
 
"False advertising."
 
With that, she stood up and headed towards the shower.
 
'"Better than sex cake' my ass."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chrysalis
"Crystal Guard"
~~~~~~~
 
>Hey, Peony! I need a hoof here.
 
"...I am so torn. Either A, you mean peon and I should be annoyed, or B, you meant what you said, and I should be happy you remembered that I love flowers."
 
>It's the former!
 
"Damn. What can I help you wi-SWEET CELESTIA TAP DANCING ON ICE!"
 
>What, no good? I thought this looked good.
 
"It looks DAMN good! I'm not even a pegasus, and I'm pretty sure I'm about to pop a wingboner!"
 
>Hah! Awesome. Maybe Shiny'll finally break down when I mention it still has easy access to the thing his wife doesn't do.
 
"How has he not had sex with you yet!? No, really, WHY IS HE NOT NAILING THAT!?"
 
>Right?
 
"I'm MARRIED and I would do you! And you know what? I wouldn't feel bad! I would just get a picture, and when the misses asks 'why' I'd whip it out and be like 'case closed!"
 
>Really! But he's still all about Caddy, so I've gotta just keep working it. Honestly, I don't get why he won't just break down, it's not THAT big a deal.
 
"Well, you know, I meant what I said. If he says no again, I'm more than willing to show you a vacant closet and-"
 
>FUCK OFF! What, you think I'll go for anyone but Shiny like that!? Oh, that is just insulting to me, that's what it is! Like I'll just roll in the hay with anyone because they said some pretty words and showed off the goods, especially when Shiny is just a few rooms over! You know what? You can go chew on a rusted pike and get mouth tetanus, that's what you can do! Now, if you don't MIND, I'm going to go into that room and offer some wildly amazing sex to MY SHINY! HRMPH!
 
She shoved him aside, and stomped off.
 
"...I don't understand mares..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘Spike’
~~~~~~~
 
“Ooooh, Applejack! Could you come in here for a second, please?”
 
>Sure, ‘Tia, Ah got a few minutes to... did Ah just walk in blood?
 
“Well, it sure isn’t strawberry jam, dear.”
 
>…An’ is that a body over there by the window?
 
“I’d say so, yes.”
 
>Did… sweet zapple apples, did Ah jus’ walk into y’all finally committin’ a murder…?
 
“Heaven’s no. Were I to lose my ever-loving mind, I wouldn’t be so daft as to leave a body lying around, much less call you of all ponies to witness it. I’d just drop the sun from the sky. Instant death and ruin for all.”
 
>…
 
“But that’s neither here nor there… right now, at least. Presently, what we have on our hooves is an assassin who, oddly enough, crashed through the window already dead….”
 
>…say what?
 
“Strange, right? Wound to the temple, dead on arrival. I wonder how…?”
 
There came the sound of hurried footsteps and Spike burst through the door wielding what looked like a plasma rifle with a high-powered scope, a weapon longer than him in all respects. He bypassed the princess and Applejack entirely, smiling instead at the body.
 
‘Hot dog, I got 'em! Try and sneak up on my princesses, will you? Guess again, sucker! Hey, Twi’! This new rifle worked like a charm! Those supersonic bullets really cut through wind resistance like you predicted! But it’s a bit heavy, maybe you could….’
 
And without looking back or even bothering to answer questions, Spike turned and started down the hallway, shouting out suggestions for his weapon.
 
>…
 
“…”
 
>Ya know, Ah wanna blame ya so bad fer’ this, fer’ introducin’ weapons to Equestria, but… at the same time… they jus’ saved yer’ life sooooo… buck.
 
“Yay for ‘Tia then?”
 
>Yeah. Yay for ‘Tia.
 
DECLARED NON CANON BY AUTHOR
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~~~
 
>Hey, Celestia? Ah' got a-
 
"Gun. You have a gun and are finally going to overthrow me by shooting me in the head. Oh, I knew this day would come!"
 
>Lord no, who would Ah' blame if that happened?
 
"Like a knife, Applejack. Like a knife right into my heart."
 
>Point is, are ya' ever gonna bring Luna up ta' date on social norms? Like, Ah' don't know, dating?
 
"...NOPE!"
 
>Tia? No, don't ya'll dare! Don't you dark jump off that-
 
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! AHAHAHAHAHHA!"
 
*CRASH!*
 
>DANG IT, CELESTIA! THIS IS ALL YER' FAULT!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~~
 
>...
 
"Now before you ask, no, I did not think this through."
 
>You know, I wasn't even going to ask that. I just assumed.
 
"I should also clarify, no, this was NOT an attempt to kill Cadence off. Everything that transpired in the last five minutes was part of an unrelated plan, and at no point was physical injury to Cadence a part of that."
 
>You know, I also kind of assumed that one. Mostly because it seems to have actually been effective in doing so.
 
"Thirdly, and finally, I sincerely hope that this substance is not an Alicorn's one weakness, or I am so fucked."
 
>It's not. Tried and tested with that one back in the high school days.
 
"Wow, filing that one away for future use. Also, this is good! So Cadence is NOT going to die?"
 
>No, but that head injury looks pretty serious.
 
"So, to recap..."
 
>Next time you want to do sexy jello wrestling, you're going to use an inflatable pool, not a metal one.
 
"I feel like we all learned something today, and am counting this as a win."
 
>...Just pick up Cadence and come on.
 
"Can do! C'mere and-WHOOP!"
 
*THUNK!*
 
>...I could say I didn't see that coming, but that would be a lie.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Everyday, at the exact same time, he revisits the same spot inside Canterlot Castle. The bathroom where he rose out from, the toilet stall he ambushed a guardsman from. Where his long mission at last came to an end.
 
He looked ridiculous, sitting on the broken toilet, his face baring the same sad expression, playing with the bone knife in his hooves, sometimes, he would mutter quietly to himself.
 
But if he looked so ridiculous, why was it, then, the princesses, not simply Applejack, but all of the unanimously ruled that specific stall as belonging to him, locking the door and giving him the only key. How ridiculous was he when guards, even those who hated him, would come to that stall when he sat in it and pay silent respect for hours? How ridiculous was he when it was others who slid bouquets of flowers and other tributes to memories? How ridiculous was he when his story began to spread like wildfire throughout Canterlot?
 
How ridiculous was Changeling Seventy Seven to remember his comrades in arms, no matter how many years might pass between when the last of them vanished beneath the waters, till the end of his life?
 
The answer: not at all.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Cadence
"18"
~~~~
 
>Does this saddle make my butt look big?
 
"Caddy, a magnifying glass the size of the sun couldn't make your butt look big."
 
*WHAM!*
 
"I regret nothing."
 
>This is the last time I take you clothes shopping!
 
"Oh no, the horror."
 
>I'm serious, I'll bring 42 next time!
 
"Hey Cadence, does this ribbon look like it would be useful to strangle someone? Cadence, that saddle doesn't look like it would take much damage, this one is made of steel! Much better armor. No, Cadence, it totally makes your butt look big. That's good right? Please accept me for I am a punchy thing with no social skills and secretly wish to bang your husband."
 
>At least she's secretive about it!
 
"Cadence, I could not hide that if I wanted to. He is a big, strong stallion who's lovey power could take out Celestia. Even if I ignore what he means to me, he's still Prince who has been beaten by a super-bug monster until he is Equestrian Games level of in shape. That's tempting."
 
>...Well, I mean, when you put it like that...
 
"But I don't ignore the other stuff. I don't ignore that he was the only pony, the ONLY pony who would ever give us another chance after what we did to him. I don't ignore that he let me come back time and time again, and that he finally let me stay. I don't ignore that he was the only THING, pony or otherwise, to ever appreciate me in my life. Ever. And you know what? If he does all this now, imagine what he would have done if we just asked for help at the start. He would have helped me. And I... I wrecked his wedding."
 
>Eighteen...
 
"But if you asked him, he'll say he's the lucky one."
 
She shoves the saddle back to Cadence, and trots off.
 
Cadence doesn't try to stop her.
 
She knows she couldn't.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
He had served. He had served Equestria, the Crystal Empire, his hive. He served them all faithfully. His person was weighed down by medals, commendations, and accolades. All of it meaningless to him.
 
He never fought for recognition, he never taught to be immortalized, he never led to a hero.
 
He served because he was needed. Because it was who he was. Because it was the final wishes of his comrades.
 
As he approached his personal memorial, in the same, silly place it always was, he groaned under the heavy weight of the bedazzled sash and uniform. He quickly discarded them outside the stall and sat on the broken toilet he had emerged from.
 
Today's training had been long and tiresome. He needed to rest. Seventy Seven closed his eyes and thought back to all he had done in his long life, and quietly, he smiled.
 
"Comrades, are you proud?"
 
He winced as he felt a sharp smack on his head.
 
"That's a dumb question. You go and work for the enemy and you think we'll be proud?"
 
"Heh, they haven't been our enemies since before I left the damn cave. Asshole."
 
"Yeah, yeah, enough with the fighting. We've got a new assignment?"
 
"Where too, my friends?"
 
"Where the swarm wills it!"
 
Chitin hooves beat against arcadian grasses and the band rushed through lush fields beneath a sun more beautiful than any ever seen in the world.
 
After many long years, Seventy Seven joined his comrades on the next great adventure.
 
"Captain?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>???
~~~~~~~~~~
 
Terror.
 
Did you know what terror was? Diamond Tiara had felt terror. She felt it the day Discord reigned, the day those things first made their appearance in her class, the day the bug monster came to town, the day the one with the knife outsmarted her, the day the other one overpowered her. She knew what terror was. Or, at least she thought she did.
 
It would appear that terror came in many, many forms, forms even one who peered into hell every day on her way to lunch had yet to witness. It came in many forms indeed.
 
Such as a Changeling visiting from the Empire far far away. This creature made her feel terror, a terror on a level she had never felt before, or likely would ever again.
 
All with nothing but her rocket launcher, and five little words.
 
>What does this button do?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Pinkie
"42"
~~~~
 
*POP!*
 
>You there! Changeling with the helmet! What day is it?
 
"How... I'm on the fourth story, how did you pop up through my floor?"
 
>Pinkie goes where she goes, and not a single inch to the left!
 
"What?"
 
>I said-PIE!
 
*SPLAT!*
 
"...Why?"
 
>You may think this a random act of slapstick comedy, but I'm honestly just trying to get you to smile. Always scowling, I noticed. Anyone ever mention that to you?
 
"It's come up."
 
>Scowling is fine when there are things to scowl about, it's even good sometimes! So that your friends know you're feeling bad, and they can help make you feel better, but if you scowl all the time, it just makes it look like you're always feeling bad, and how can they help you then?"
 
"..."
 
>So smile! You'll feel better, and your friends will feel better too, because they're your friends, and they want you to be happy! Try, for me?
 
"...Fine. How's this?"
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...Maybe a cocky smirk, that is a LOT of teeth.
 
"Oh, you are just-"
 
>Want to hit me with a hammer? Here!
 
"What!? Why?"
 
>Two reasons. One, it'll make you feel better to hit something, and that something be okay with it! You get to let loose a bit of frustration, and not feel like you're hurting anyone. Got it?
 
"I guess..."
 
>Reason two, we need to end on a joke, and Pinkie Pie is dedicated to her craft of comedy! Now, if you don't mind, HIT ME!
 
*WHAM!*
 
"...Wow, I DO feel better."
 
>Told you so!
 
"GAH!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Celestia
"SA"
~~~~
 
*SLAM!*
 
>HEEEEYyyyy buuuudy!
 
"Oh come on! You already did this! You did the drunk thing! It happened!"
 
>Shingy, Shingalinga, mah buddy, Ish jush gosha shay shomeshin now. Ya lishnin? Lishen. Zish is big. Like mah booty....PFTTAHAHA! Mah bootysh HUGE!
 
"I can taste strawberry margaritas. That is how wasted you are. I can TASTE what drink you've been having by SMELL."
 
>Ah'm gettin' off topic herr, poin ish... ah'm shorry.
 
"...Oh crap, you're skipping right to-"
 
>AH'M SHORRRRYYY!
 
"NononononoOOOF! SO. HEAVY!"
 
>Ah'm jush, ah'm sha worsht! Ah' shent the bug monsher over here ta' make ya' not do work, and ah' did it caush Ah'm a bad prinshess!
 
"You're not a bad-OMF! Watch the kicking!"
 
>An sha worsh part ish, ya' still like me! Ya' shtill give me mah' notsh, and they jush make me feel like a billion bish. An ah' shent a bug monsher to make yer' life harder. Wha' kind o' prinshess does 'at? A bad one! CELLY ISH WORSH PRINSHESS!
 
"You're not the worst princess! I'm okay with Chrysalis, really!... most of the time. You did a good thing sending her over here, she's been really useful!"
 
>Ahhh, yer' jush shayin that!
 
"Of course I am, I can't lie to you."
 
>...SHiiiiny!
 
"Grip... tightening..."
 
>Shanks fer' bein' my guard. Ah' don' know why Luna don' like you, yer' cool.
 
"...Wait, what? Of course she likes me."
 
>..Snrkhaahahah
 
"What?"
 
>Shiny ah' know yer' gonna shay I ain't gotta shay wha' ah'm gonna shay, but I do, ah' jush wanna shay, shorry. An shanks fer... fer makin' me feel like a goo' prinshess, even when ah'm worsh princess.
 
"....Ahhh, come here."
 
>Oh! Hugsh! I like hugsh.
 
"Would I hug the worst Princess? No. I wouldn't. So you're not worst Princess, got it?
 
>Ah kind of feel like it shometimes...
 
"That's the margaritas and, now that I can breath more of this, what appears to be several large portions of rum and... apple cider?"
 
>Ah' had a lil' bit.
 
"Okay, well, I guess you're staying over here for a few days, because Applejack will likely kill you otherwise. Because you are a liar. Because I can, again, TASTE your lies."
 
>Daww, shanks, Shingigadingdongding! Shanks fer... shanks fer bein' you. Yer' no' besh princsh, yer' besh pony.
 
"I'm touched. Really. Blarg now?"
 
>Naaahhh! Ah'm not gonna blarg! Not fer' a little bi' still. Sho Ah'm jush gonna hug ya' fer' a bit, cause yer' besh pony... shen ah'll blarg on ya.
 
"Glorious. I guess I can do a bit more hugs."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...Yer shinkin' bout mah' big ol' booty on yer' lap now, ain' cha?
 
"...I am NOW."
 
>Shorry, can't do booty shtuff, elsh BOOM! HAHAHA!... Ah' might do sha osher shing when I wake up, sho. Ya' earned it, buh Ah' might jush wanna get back home and don' remember noshing. Could go eizzer way.
 
"...What-"
 
>BLARG!
 
"...I'm not even keeping score, that was just mean."
 
>Zzzzzzz...
 
"...Eh, I'll work through the pain on this one. Just gonna work it out with more hugs."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________