https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/23282365
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 >AJ
"Security"
'Scientists'
~~~
 
>...Ah'... Ah' just...
 
She sighed, looking over them all huddled in the corner.
 
Every single one of them pointing some kind of weapon at her, and shaking like leaves.
 
>...Jus' surrender! This can't be worth it! None of it can be possibly worth it! Just quit now a'fore Ah' gotta buck ya' in the face!
 
"You think we're stupid!?"
 
"We saw what happened when someone tried to surrender!"
 
"We're onto yooooou!"
 
>Those weren't me! It weren't... come on, really? Ya'll are sciency folks, right? Be reasonable!
 
'We're willing to go down for our science!'
 
'You want to destroy our research, destroy it from out COLD DEAD HOOVES'
 
'...Er, that came out wrong.'
 
'I know what I said!'
 
>Ah' don't wanna destroy yer' dang research! Ah' just want mah dang citizens back!
 
'...Oh! Oh uh... wait, who?'
 
'Yeah, who's she talking about?'
 
'Those homeless ponies volunteered!'
 
>No- well, okay, gonna put a pin in that one, bit no! The friggen changeling-
 
'WE HAVE A CHANGELING!?'
 
'WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME!?'
 
'SO! MUCH! SCIENCE!'
 
'MY SCIENCE BONER HURTS!'
 
>-and Screwloose!
 
'...OH FUCK!'
 
'SHE'S HERE!?'
 
'FUCKING WHERE OH FUCK NO!'
 
>...So, ya'll didn't know about that?
 
'NO!'
 
"Shit, even we didn't."
 
"I heard something about a changeling, but uh... is... is that illegal? I thought they left you guys already."
 
>It's friggen illegal to kidnap a gad dang mental patient on probation AND force her handler to go with her!
 
"...Yep. That sounds pretty illegal, actually."
 
'To be fair, we did lots of illegal things, but we didn't kidnap anyone.'
 
'That's a bit much.'
 
>...Sooo... surrender? Please? Please surrender.
 
"Well... it does look like you don't want to hurt us..."
 
'Or wreck our research...'
 
"...Weellllll-"
 
*SCREEEEEE!*
 
'OH NO! THE TWELVE LEGGED SUPERCRAB!'
 
'SHE LET IT OUT!'
 
"I KNEW THIS WAS A SETUP!"
 
"ATTAAAACCKKKK!"
 
>..Gad dang it...
 
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NC
>Chitania
"Celestia"
~~~~~~
 
"So, you do know which way you're going, right?"
 
>YES! OBVIOUSLY!
 
"Because I know for a fact you've never been there."
 
>That doesn't matter!
 
"Just thought I'd give you a heads up, we're not going the right way."
 
>HOW DO YOU KNOW!?
 
"Because there is desert."
 
>So?!
 
"Soooo... the Crystal Empire is located in the middle of a giant icy tundra."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...why... why would anyone make a kingdom there?
 
"You know, I never got that one either."
 
>So... so-
 
"So we are so lost."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...I KNEW TH-
 
"Stop."
 
>Okay.
 
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>Fluttershy
"Dash"
'Scientists'
~~~~~
 
>Now, what have we all learned?
 
'THAT CHAOS IS HORRIBLE!'
 
>Well, yes, but what else?
 
'Animals should be treated like you treat ponies?'
 
>Very good!
 
'...you do know we experiment on ponies down here too, ri...'
 
>..........................
 
'...I-I'll be good.'
 
>Oh, I'm so glad!
 
"Uh, Fluttershy?"
 
>Yes?
 
"We have a problem. Most of these animals look like they want to... you know, tear off some heads."
 
>Oh dear, we can't have that.
 
"Soooo..."
 
>Well, we'll have to keep them on a leash, just for a bit.
 
"How are we supposed to keep up with them?"
 
>I suppose we could strap the leashes to this trolly, then they won't get ahead of us.
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...We're about to ride a chariot pulled by giant mutant monsters, aren't we?"
 
>...Buckle up.
 
~~~~~
 
>"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
 
'Oh sure, when THEY do it...'
 
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NC
>Celestia
"Chitania'
~~~~
 
>Soooo... while I've got you talking... do you have any, like... hobbies?
 
"...No."
 
>Don't do anything, huh?
 
"Nope."
 
>Nothing odd at all?
 
"No."
 
>Because Twilight's mother, lovely mare, mentioned meeting a very odd pony after that whole Partyland thing.
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...I haven't played in a long time."
 
>And I am rather rusty on my saxophone.
 
"Seriously? Even I couldn't get one of those to work."
 
>It's not that hard when you don't have holes in your hooves.
 
"...Touche."
 
>Wanna... wanna get together and play?
 
"I do not feel like this is the time."
 
>...It's just, nobody else will play with me because they're afraid of showing me up-
 
"I said not the time."
 
>And Luna is just terrible at-
 
"NOT THE TIME!"
 
>...
 
"...Maybe later."
 
>I'm taking that as a yes and you can't stop me!
 
"You realize I'm officially a criminal again, right?"
 
>...son of a BITCH.
 
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 >Changeling
"Changeling"
~
 
>So, uh... buddy?
 
"Yep."
 
>What does this mark mean?
 
"...Badass?"
 
>I don't think it means badass.
 
"Maybe it just means her hive."
 
>So then, does it say "Chrysalis"?
 
"I don't know, I can't read our language."
 
>Huh. I can't either... but no other Queen have marks, right?
 
"Right, because that might leave a trace."
 
>So is this... new?
 
"I don't know, I think I got mindwiped a couple times."
 
>I KNOW I got mindwiped a couple times.
 
"...Our society is kind of fucked up."
 
>Yeah, it's weird.
 
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>Rarity
"Scientist"
~~~~
 
>Great heavens! How could you subject these ponies to these expirements!?
 
"Well, how else are we supposed to test the beauty products?"
 
>...Please don't tell me this is how you test my shampoo.
 
"Er... So you want me to lie to you? In fact, you and Princess Cadance probably funded most of this yourselves."
 
>OH LORD! I was the monster all along!
 
"So does this mean you'll stop buying it?"
 
>... Lets not go crazy here...
 
"Seriously?"
 
>I'll have you know I pay top dollar for this conditioner!
 
"Yeah, but... Seems mean."
 
>Element of Generosity, darling, kindness is the other one.
 
"So's honesty, miss split ends."
 
>I WILL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!
 
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NC
>AJ
"Scientist"
~~~~~~
 
>SCIENCE AND APPLES!? NOOO! YER PERVERTIN' NATURE YOU MONSTERS!
 
"But doesn't Apples make everything better?"
 
>...Yeeeah?
 
"So, science of apples makes science better."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>.....
 
*BLAM!*
 
"HOLY SHIT! HER HEAD CAME OFF! IT'S JUST GONE!... NOBODY WILL BELIEVE ME!"
 
~~~
 
>Miss random scientist, how did the Princess die?
 
"I made her think of a paradox with apples!"
 
>...Shit, that makes sense. Okay, you're free to go.
 
"...Huh."
 
~~~
 
>Sniffle... I WANTED TO KILL HER FIIIIRRRRRST! UH BUUUHHHHHH!
 
"...Thanks, Chrysalis, glad you showed up to the funeral now."
 
>WAHHHHHH!
 
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>Variolus
"Sunset"
~~~~
 
>...it's funny, you know...
 
The being inside of her said nothing, gave no response to her gentle mental prodding.
 
>Back before... they didn't help out. The ponies, I mean. They screamed, they ran, they panicked and fled... I think they came to depend on her, in the end. They came to depend on them, the monsters, to come and fight my own monsters. Yet they still hated them, still saw them as monsters even as they fought and struggled to defend them. Arrogant while they stood off to the side, doing nothing to save their own weak, pathetic hides. I hated them, you know. That they would rely on those changelings but treat them as they would a foe. I hated them for their weakness. But not these ones... they fight.
 
"T-they... they were conquered once before... enslaved. They won't let it happen again."
 
She purred, pleased that the voice came back, albeit temporarily.
 
>... I wondered if they would turn on them, you know? I wondered if, in the end, they too would see changelings as one thing, a single entity to be wiped out. But they didn't. They know. They fight.
 
"You made it obvious."
 
>I made it painfully obvious last time as I commanded my hive to descend upon them. She ordered them just as Chrysalis does now, commanded them to tear my hive apart, and yet they feared them all the same, feared her soldiers...
 
She felt herself smiling, grinning even.
 
>They were strong, you know. Chitania did not allow weakness in her hive. Her soldiers were the greatest of any hive... too bad her infiltrators were so weak, if she had any at all. All it took was a few of my soldiers in disguises as her changelings, and they could match them. The Titans army was strong, but mine was smart. They could match them.
 
"But... not beat them?"
 
She felt like laughing. So stupid, so... naive.
 
>Oh no, don't be silly. Myself and Chitania knew full well that neither hive would win. It didn't matter, what those soldiers did, they were just a show. All of this was just puffery. The true victor of the hive was the Queen who would stand victorious and decimate the stragglers who remained. All of our hive combined could not hope to defeat the other. It did not matter which hive won the war, the Queen is the only one who needed to fall. I thought for sure I would win...
 
"...What happened?"
 
She didn't know why she smiled.
 
But she did.
 
>...I lost my head, but I still won, I suppose. In the end, my plan led to the destruction of her hive, the destruction of the Titan.
 
"And you're... happy about that?"
 
Sunset didn't know why the smile left her face.
 
But it did.
 
>...That doesn't matter, anymore. What matters is finishing my plan. Finishing it after so long... that's all that matters.
 
"...what are you going to do?"
 
>...As I said... finish this.
 
With her final cryptic words, she cut herself off from Sunset, and focused ahead.
 
Soon now.
 
It would be soon now.
 
Then... it would all be over.
 
>Chitania... hurry. Hurry... so we may end this at last.
 
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Chrysalis just needs to sit down with Chitty and be like:
 
>Okay, give me everything you did so I can do the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE
 
"Well, for starters, I was breathing."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...You can't be serio-"
 
*WHUMP!"
 
"Did she really just suffocate herself?"
 
'THANK YA'LL SO MUCH!'
 
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 >Head scientist
"Security"
~~~
 
There were tears in her eyes as she watched the screens. All of them, every one depicting her failure, her defeat.
 
>L-let out the manticores. Maybe their cyber enhancements can-
 
Nope. The yellow one even managed to turn them to her side with just a few words too.
 
>Oh... m-maybe... oh! The new Synthdroids! They've got enough firepower, they should be able to-
 
Torn apart in mere seconds, SECONDS, by that team of changelings, dragon and filly.
 
>We... we could let out an airborne toxin, I suppose? That might work, something in the air to-
 
Detected and countered by a brilliant mind that, once upon a time, she had admired, even longed to learn from and spend time with. The Princess of Magic was her better, in this.
 
>...there has to be...
 
Sentient clothing that was outstripped and unraveled, hallucinogenic drugs that were somehow ineffective, even supersoldiers who were bucked like trees into unconsciousness! She was giving it everything she had.
 
And she was losing.
 
And while looking at all her failures, something hit her.
 
>...I was making the world a better place, right?
 
"Miss?"
 
As she looked at all her experiments- no... her weapons being utterly defeated, she couldn't help but wonder.
 
>This was all... to make it better, right?
 
"Miss I... I don't understand."
 
Sad eyes watched as a machine, once dreamed up to be able to traverse to any climate and collect data but now was their only hope to sustain the fire-damage they were dishing out, was effortlessly blown to pieces, and she knew.
 
>No... I don't suppose I did either...
 
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"So what did you do?"
 
>I ended up in charge of R&D in a hidden doom fortress and let the thrill of discovery mask the fact I was making a slew of horrific bioweapons and ethical disasters, each one a doomsday weapon in their own right. You?
 
"I accidentally bought back the biggest changeling bitch there was after being impaled through the sternum by a crystal artifact of my own design, which I then died from and became a unearthly, possessed zombie; I was then taken over and invaded the Crystal empire.
 
>.....
 
"....."
 
>.....
 
>So. Read any good books lately?
 
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>Changeling
"Crystal Guard"
~~~~
 
>Is... is this smart? I feel like this isn't very smart.
 
"Okay, I'll admit it, that coming from you is worrying me a lot."
 
>HEY!
 
"Whoa! Not racist! I didn't mean it in the racist way!"
 
>It sure sounded racist!
 
"It's not! It's not!"
 
>Well, then what did you mean?
 
"You uh... well, I mean, you guys are known for being..."
 
>...
 
"...C-cool guys who play by their own rules and kick ass?"
 
>...Really? That's what you're going with.
 
"Oh fuck, I'm going back to sensitivity camp-"
 
>Because that sounds AWESOME!
 
"...neat."
 
>Still though, this sounds dumb, even to my badassness.
 
"What's the flaw, here?"
 
>Well, you're strapping a lot of dynamite to the front of that crystal rocket.
 
"Yeah? That way it explodes when it hits her!"
 
>Doesn't it get hot when it launches?
 
"Yeeeeah?"
 
>So... won't it go off right away?
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...ohhhhhh. I see your point... say, is that green stuff you spit insular?"
 
>I don't know what that means, but shouldn't you be more worried about it being fireproof?
 
".."
 
>...Cause it is.
 
"Awesome!"
 
>AWESOME! THIS WILL TOTALLY WORK!"
 
"...Hey, changeling?"
 
>Yeah?
 
"You're one of the better ones."
 
>...
 
"...
 
>...thanks!
 
"No problem!"
 
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SO VERY NC
>Chitania
"Celestia"
~~~~
 
"You know, I've always wondered. You never said your daughter's name, what is it?"
 
>What?
 
"Your daughter's name, you never said it. You actually keep weirdly dancing around it."
 
>Can't imagine why!
 
"I'm serious. Is there any reason you don't say her name?"
 
>Of course not, it's an amazing name! I picked it myself.
 
"Well, obviously. So, what is it?"
 
>Punchtania.
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...No, seriously, what is it?"
 
>Did I mumble or something? Punchtania!
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...Punchtania."
 
>Oh, good, was worried you couldn't hear. Amazing, isn't it?
 
"..."
 
>...What?
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>...Yes.
 
"Er, my Queen, I discarded that name to show I'm not-"
 
>Nope. That is your name now... uh, I mean again.
 
"But... but the new name I was given is 13!"
 
>Last time I checked, it was APPLEJACK 13, and I didn't want you guys to be named that anymore.
 
"Oh, right... b-but solidarity and-"
 
>Nope.
 
"...You're going to make me have that stupid name again, aren't you?"
 
>Yes. All of the yes. This is amazing.
 
"...Damn it."
 
>Welcome back to the hive, Punchtania.
 
"Damn iiiiitt!"
 
~~~
 
"You're not even my real mother, you can't tell me what to do!"
 
*slams door, starts up loud music*
 
>Ugh, kids, am I right?
 
And Chitania just gives her a mile long stare....
 
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 >42
"Spike"
'DT'
[77]
~~~
 
>...This is easy... too easy.
 
"FORTY TWO!"
 
'WHY!?'
 
[Are you insane!?]
 
"You NEVER say something like that in the badguys base!"
 
'It's guaranteed that something's going to pop out now!'
 
>...
'...'
"..."
[...he said, it's GUARANTEED THAT SOMETHING IS GOING TO POP OUT NOW!]
 
>...
"..."
'...ANY MINUTE NOW!'
[..]
 
>...Hey, guys, what's that over there!?
 
"It sure looks HARMLESS!"
 
'...'
 
[...Poppet, I'm retiring after this one.]
 
'Too far!'
 
There was a whirring of metal as a giant claw began to emerge.
 
'FUCKNOFUCKNOFUCKNOFUCKNO!'
 
It stopped emerging sometime after the explosions stopped.
 
>...
"..."
[...Uh...]
 
'What!?'
 
"...I'm hanging up my gun too."
 
She did not know what that roar that sounded out was.
 
'FUCK OOOFFFFFFFFFFFF!'
 
But she made it VERY dead.
 
'STOP THAT! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!'
 
"...Awww."
 
'WHAT!?'
 
[Nothing, Poppet, nothing.]
 
>...So now that it's safe-
 
At last, the entire three-story tall wall fell away, revealing a massive robot.
 
'....Yes.'
 
"Now we're talking!"
 
>DIBS!
 
[You guys ever think we got problems?]
 
>...Meh.
 
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