_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Sunset
"Variolus"
~~~
 
"...What are those things?"
 
>Things? Be more specific.
 
"Those things, there, in the street. Those golems of steel, what are they?"
 
>Oh... they're called robots, and they're not golems.
 
"Oh? They're not powered by magic? Fascinating! What powers them?"
 
>...Well, I mean, magic, but-
 
"Then they're golems."
 
>They're not golems!
 
"You are smart, are you not?"
 
>Pfft, obviously, I-
 
"Then define a golem. Dictionary definition, if you do not mind."
 
>...
 
"...Well?"
 
>...Sigh... a figure artificially constructed in the form of a pony being and magically endowed with life.
 
"Hrm, that is not quite enough for me, what's the other definition?"
 
>Just drop it.
 
"No no, go ahead."
 
>Fuck you.
 
"Really? That's not the definition. Here, I'll help you, 'wise one'.... "An automaton", or, as others might call them-"
 
>FUCK YOU!
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...Golem."
 
>FINE! THEY'RE FUCKING GOLEMS! THEY"RE MOTHERFUCKING GOLEMS! OKAY!? YOU WIN! GOLEMS! ALL OF THESE PONIES OWN-... wait, isn't owning a golem illegal!?.... IT IS! Owning a magically endowed creature is illegal! Holy shit this is... probably something I should keep to myself before they lynch me.
 
"Wise choice. You ponies have a weird predisposition to lynching."
 
>WE DO NO-....
 
"..."
 
>...Oh, right.
 
"Again, your wisdom lives up to the hype."
 
>Fuck you.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC
>Variolus
"Sunset"
'AJ'
 
>Fine, here you go....that should be the most recently patched version
 
"YESSS, AT LAST"
 
>Wait are you going to try now-
 
[bwoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM]
 
"AHAHAHAHA, NOW I FEAR NOTHING"
 
>Welp, I'm out
 
[pop]
 
"AHAHAHAHA-...wait...heartbeat...still not there- GLK!"
 
[COLLAPSE!]
 
[PROPERTY DAMAGE!]
 
'...Well, ah'm out'
 
[BANG!]
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Chitania
"PM"
~~~~
 
>....
 
"...Ya' ever think about becoming a superhero?"
 
That, surprisingly, got the Titan to slightly lower her book.
 
>Come again?
 
"Bein' a superhero, ever think about it?"
 
>....Are you actually stupid, and I've just been overestimating you this whole time?
 
"I'm serious! You'd be, like, an amazing superhero! Fighting crime, stopping the badguys, all that stuff!"
 
>...I'm actually worried now.
 
"Well, I mean, think about it! You're pretty much unstoppable, right gal? Nobody's gonna mess with you!"
 
>You're missing the obvious here.
 
"Wassat?"
 
>If I walked by a burning building and there was someone trapped inside, you know what I would do?
 
"Break in cause ain't no doors gonna stop you, walk through the fires cause ain't no lava able ta' hurt you, and then fly out goin' DA DA DA DAAAA!"
 
>No, something else. Something completely different.
 
"What?"
 
>I would keep motherfucking walking.
 
"...oh... oh, yeah, guess you ain't really the... the savin' type."
 
>And there it is, thank you. If you are going to drink whatever the fuck messed you up enough to ask that, at least fucking share.
 
"S-sure..."
 
>....
 
"..."
 
>...I look stupid as a superhero.
 
"How'dya know that?"
 
>Because my toy looks stupid and acts stupid.
 
"...Ya'll have a toy?"
 
>It came to life once and tried to fight me.
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...Okay. But uh, wait, ain't that..."
 
>...What?
 
"Nothin', nothin'... can I-"
 
With a PLINK! Another bag fell to the table.
 
"HA! Ain't even gotta finish now!"
 
>That is not a good thing.
 
"Iffin' you say so!"
 
>...Maybe I should've grabbed the zebra...
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Two
“AJ”
‘???’
____
 
This was stupid.
 
>Bring me some puddin’!
 
This was utterly, unequivocally, beyond-the-orchard stupid.
 
>An’ some butter! Lotsa butter!
 
And yet… there she was doing it.
 
>Yeah, yeah, an’… an’ uh… ketchup! Marchmalley’s, too!
 
Her and the little black-skinned, blonde-maned, tiara-wearing changeling beside her, ordering the chefs of Canterlot Castle into a galloping frenzy.
 
>Whatta ya think, Auntie A? Marchmalley’s an’ ketchup an’ these cool little beans from the Neighponese! This’ll make a great cake, right?
 
On the outside, Applejack smiled down at the heir to the Crystal Empire, all decked out in an apron and a chef’s hat situated crookedly over her tiara. But on the inside, her stomach pulled cartwheels just thinking about the culinary abomination they were attempting to make.
 
“R-right, sugarpie….”
 
>Yaaaay! …You there!
 
She pointed at a nearby stallion and he immediately gave a crisp salute.
 
‘Ma’am, yes ma’am!’
 
>More cinnamon! Annnn’… that burny stuff that makes ya sneeze!
 
‘Pepper, ma’am! I’m on it!’
 
There was no way on Faust’s green planet that the ingredients Two called for would be able to make an edible cake, so Applejack already knew she’d have to play the ‘distract and switch’ game later down the road.
 
For now, she concentrated on for whom this ‘cake’ was being made.
 
>Not-mom’s gonna really feel our love in this one, won’t she?
 
Applejack’s gaze floated skywards in a prayer for strength, then she fixed Two with a twitching smile.
 
“Eyuuuup. She’s… she’s gonna feel somethin’ alright, sugar.”
 
For the little one. That was all. She was only baking Chrysalis this cake for the little one’s sake, to make her happy.
 
And if she didn’t slip some sort of poison into it, it’d be a downright miracle.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>32
 
>Well, here I am.
 
Well...there he was. The last bit of furniture moved in, the last bit of paperwork he'd been given by the civil servant at the castle sitting on his desk, ready to be filled out. Here he stood in his little room with his colossal job in front of him.
 
And it started with what he was staring at right next to that paperwork.
 
>'Ambassador 32, you are cordially invited to the home of Fancy Pants this Friday at 7:00 PM for an evening of sophisticated social engagement. We hope to see you at this event, please dress for the occasion.' Well...
 
He let out a small breath.
 
>Quite nice of him to invite me. Dress for the occasion, hm?
 
His eyes trailed over to his closet...yes, he'd figured it prudent to put together a wardrobe. Ponies of import seemed to like putting on ensembles as much as they liked putting on airs and if he was to swim in these, he had to look the part.
 
>Better model the thing then, old bug.
 
He strode towards the closet, grabbing the outfit in question. In short order, it was on his body and he regarded himself, the changeling in the mirror.
 
Clad in a jet black suit that clung to his body like a mixture between a shadow and a burial shroud.
 
>...oh for FUCK'S sake!
 
He tossed the offending outfit off.
 
>I look like Hex Hoofor in that! No no no, I need something different something...bright. Fucking GLIMMERING even...something non threatening.
 
He blinked, and it hit him!
 
>PINK! YES! No one will fear me if I wear pink! Time to place a special order!
 
In a flash, he was off and running.
 
~~~
 
NC-addition
>32
 
>Wait, I'm a changeling, I can just fwoosh up some clothes!
 
Fwoosh!
 
32 stands in a ragged cloak, fastened by a silver brooch molded into the visage of a snarling otherworldly god.
 
>LOVEDAMMIT!
 
~~~
 
>I think I have issues.... what do you think brain?
 
"KILL ALL THE WHORES!"
 
>Pfft, so unoriginal.
 
"CADENCE IS SEXY!"
 
>Wha-.... HEY! Get out of here, 42's brain! You scat now!
 
"HISSSSS!"
 
>Freaking brains, going where they aren't invited.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Sunset
“Variolus”
~~~~
 
>Say, what is your kind's impression of Canterlot and us ponies?
 
„You are food. End-of-story. As for Canterlot, I wouldn't know. No Changeling was foolish enough to infiltrate the heart of the kingdom lest they be discovered. A shame, really. It is quite the scintillating place you set up residence in, meatbag.“
 
>Is that barely concealed envy I hear?
 
Silence was the Queen's reply to that.
 
>Figures. You Changelings have to infiltrate towns or else sleep under the open sky, right? Steal the warm beds under their rightful owners and eat the food others made. There is nothing crated by your own hooves.
 
„HAH! I wouldn't be so full of yourself. While not as monumental, the Changeling Valley of old was far more awe-inspiring than your city of stone.“
 
>What do you mean, 'Changeling Valley of old'? Aren't all of you nomadic?
 
„Whatever gave you that idea?“
 
>Research and study. As far as I could tell, you Queens were always hiding, always roaming, taking your Hives with you.
 
„That was the state of affairs for all my life. And my mother's. Both the Changeling Valley and the Queens of old are long gone, so its just tales and word-by-mouth. But it used to be there, there is no doubting that.“
 
>I might be able to look into that later. Used to be WHERE, exactly?
 
“I wouldn't know. Perhaps one of the others in the Hivemind does, but not me. Ask them once I am gone.
 
Sunset paused in her trot, staring at her reflection in the large storefront of a boutique.
 
>Why exactly are you telling me this?
 
„Whatever do you mean?“
 
>Your kind is secretive, guarded and well-versed in guile and subterfuge. You kept on preaching how you wouldn't give away any secrets. So why would you give away such vital information about your ilk's past nopony else knows about, without asking for anything in return?
 
„Hmmmm...”
 
Sunset saw her reflection making a mockingly thoughtful face, felt her own facial muscles shift to mirror it.
 
“That is true, very true. Now why would a dead Queen like myself share such knowledge with the only pony able to talk to us~?”
 
>You arere using your sing-song voice again. Just stop and tell me what you intend to tell me.
 
“I am afraid I enjoy watching you fumble about like a fool in the dark too much to do so. I might actually just be talkative and making it look like I am hiding something to make you anxious. Isn't being hard-to-read fun?”
 
Without a word, Sunset turned left and entered the boutique amidst several other mares, soon looking through a selection of overly expensive dresses while speaking very quietly.
 
>I dislike being toyed with, Variolus.
 
„A sentiment I am very familiar with. But do tell, why are you calling me by my name and not 'bug' or 'monster' or somesuch, as you ponies seem to be prone to do?“
 
>Because you are an individual. You have been given a name and you are more than just a derogatory noun. So I will use it.
 
“Huh.”
 
Sunset picked one of the less glamorous dresses, plus a pair of simple earrings and hair clips with gemstone imitations from the rack at the cash register's side. Then she headed into one of the changing booths.
 
“… rea..y is o.e .. a .ind.“
 
>Come again?
 
„Nothing. I just noticed your coat is losing color.“
 
Shelving away the Queen's strange behavior and the new information gained for later, Sunset glanced over herself in the nearby mirror. She had indeed lost some of the vibrant coloration.
 
>Dammit... Why now?
 
„I told you. You need to feed or else you will fall apart, foolish pony.“
 
Hastily, Sunset began putting the dress on, then pressed the earrings in place using her telekinesis.
 
>Well, I needed time to think how to find that Faust-forsaken drone you want to talk to so badly, without making the Princesses home in onto me! Excuse me for being careful after getting myself KILLED once.
 
„Quit your whining and tell me what you intend to do.“
 
That was a good question. If she started showing signs of not being as well as others expected her to be, things would become unnecessarily difficult. The Crystal Empire was still far away.
 
>I suppose I could find some of my old clique. Ponies I hung out with back when I was still studying under Princess Celestia.
 
„The question you should be asking is: Do they hold affection for you?“
 
Sunset winced slightly at her own reflection, putting the hair clips in to change the style of her mane.
 
>I was popular back then. But I can't say whether I was well-liked or just had an entourage of ponies trying to get closer to the princess through me. I wasn't exactly nice to them either.
 
„I thought you said you had experience in deception. Shouldn't it have been easy to pretend you like them for personal gain?“
 
>Sure. But I didn't give jack about what they wanted or thought of me. I was under the impression they and all group activities were far beneath me. And I told them that to their faces.
 
„HAH! Called it. You really are a lot more like us than you are pony. You know, you would have made a fine Changeling, hadn't you been born among these rainbow fleshbags.“
 
>Shut it, buggy. Your entire race's population is down to less than a hundred. That's how far your attitude has brought you.
 
„That few? What in Hivemind's name is Aurelia's pupa doing?“
 
>Who or what is Aurelia?
 
„...Ah ah ah. You said I talk too much and you clearly don't appreciate learning from me. Ignorant you are, ignorant you will remain.“
 
>You suck.
 
“Far better than you can imagine. Not that there is any way for you to benefit from my experience.”
 
>Gross.
 
“Oh, don't you pretend. Your mind is still wide open for me to read. We both know what you prefer. And it isn't rugged, handsome stallions.”
 
>Brilliant! You are reading into my sexual preferences. I am sure that will further your plans immensely. But how about Plan B for now instead?
 
“Plan B?”
 
Sunset stared into her reflection, her appearance now more easily blending in among Canterlot's elite.
 
>Show me how you undergo metamorphosis, so I can hide.
 
Chittering, hissed laughter was the reward for her gall.
 
„And why should I do that? It is our signature skill and a long-standing legacy that ensures our secrecy. I have absolutely no reason to show you that.“
 
>Yes, damn you, you have. I'll 'starve' if I don't feed, and to feed I need to look inconspicuous. My face has been all over Canterlot's papers when I returned. If somepony sees me, I am done for. And so are you.
 
„That's all? You wish to look like another for a while?“
 
>Yes.
 
„Well then.“
 
Sunset felt a pulling sensation all over her body, as if hundreds of unicorns were trying to pull at her mane and coat at the same time with their magic.
 
It lasted long enough for her arcane senses to tell her that something was drawing what little power remained in her heart to fuel it.
 
She felt drained, sickly, when a sharp curse reached her ears.
 
>What? What's the matter?
 
“Grrrrngh! Something is wrong with your powers. There's something strange to it. It isn't pony OR Changeling magic. I know both. But it's too slippery for me to pin it down. It's repelling me.
 
Sunset briefly looked herself over in the mirror while she felt her headache from whatever Variolus was doing increasing.
 
Her once bi-colored mane was now fully blonde, her amber coat a smooth egg-shell white. But her eyes were still that signature emerald green of hers, and her cutiemark was merely a color-inverted version of the original.
 
It would have to do.
 
Sadly, she could only vaguely read into how the change had been done. It would likely require more repetitions for her to pick up on it. But at least she had that to look forward to.
 
>Try to find out what it is, before I start self-immolating or something crazy like that. You seem to have a better grasp of what is happening to me either way.
 
“You are no Queen of mine. I do as I like, blondie. But while I debate looking into it, what do YOU intend to do?”
 
>Me?
 
The changed mare tossed her styled mane back over her shoulder with an often-practiced, sultry smile and combined it with a half-lidded bedroom-look for extra effect.
 
>I will find myself some gullible, young ponies to drain.
 
Leaving the changing booth behind, Sunset paid for her purchases and left the store in search for PREY.
 
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Chrysalis
"??"
~~
 
>Are you fucking serious!?
 
The changeling in front of her positively trembled. Not that she blamed him, the look she was giving probably translated to 'I'm going to rip your head off you fucking failure', or some variation thereof. It didn't have to be decapitation, it might be immolation.
 
This would be super threatening if she could remember what the fuck his number was. Eleven? Fifty three? Who the fuck even knows. All she knew was he was one of her infiltrators, he was above average but not exemplary, and he was the third fucking changeling she had sent on this mission, and she was fucking done.
 
>Explain to me, slowly, why you can't find what has to be the least sneaky changeling on the fucking planet!?
 
"I... I don't know, Majesty! I have leads, but he seems to be three steps ahead of me every time!"
 
>He couldn't be three steps ahead of a snail in a salt mine! How the fuck is this possible!?
 
"Well, I mean, none of the others managed to either-"
 
A glare practically made him melt.
 
"...Nevermind."
 
She let out a slow, angry breath, composing herself in a wash of green flame.
 
>...Go back to the hive.
 
"Majesty, I can keep trying-"
 
>What did I just say.
 
Her tone was icy, cold, unfeeling and unwavering in her commands. Needless to say, he didn't argue.
 
After wash of soundless movement, she was alone.
 
>..What is the point of having a species who's main skill is locating specific targets, not being seen, and not being caught, if NONE OF THEM CAN FUCKING MANAGE TO DO ANY OF THAT SHIT!?
 
She calmed herself with several steady, shuddering breaths, before once more hiding away all signs of discomfort in her disguise.
 
>...Fine. I will handle this myself, because clearly this is something they just cannot manage.
 
A single, feral fang began to show, and her eyes narrowed in a bit of almost animalistic joy.
 
>...Twenty Nine, I do hope you've enjoyed this little bout of rebellion... it will cost you everything. I will see to that... personally.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NCOMAKE!
>Chrysalis
"29"
'???'
~~~
 
>TWENTY NINE! The time has come for your punishment!
 
"OH NO! What horror awaits mine poor soul!"
 
>You have to have sex... WITH A COMMONER!
 
"NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KILL ME IN STEAAAAAD! CASTRATE ME! SET ME ON FIRE! ANYTHING BUT THAAAAAAAAAAT!"
 
'I'm including this in your fee.'
 
>What!?... Fine. Chitty's friend gave you a five star rating, and you know she knows her shit.
 
"WAIT!? SHE'S NOT ONLYA COMMONER, BUT A COMMON WHORE!?"
 
>I specifically asked for 'average with no real outstanding features, and this is who what's her face recommended.
 
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
 
*BLAM!*
 
'HOLY FUCK! Did he just shoot himself!?'
 
>HAH! CAN'T BLAME THIS ONE ON ME! CHESS MASTER CHRYSALIS, WIN!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Omake!
>Sunset
"Variolus"
'???'
~~~~
 
>So, I need to be stealthy, to hide my true nature from the world. To hide what I have become, from all who would see it. I need... subtly.
 
~~~~
 
>I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE!
 
'...Something is off about that mare.'
 
"No there isn't."
 
'Well, I was confused for a second, but that talking reflection has completely assuaged any fears I had! Thank you talking reflection!
 
"No problem."
 
>I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE! I'M A LOVE VAMPIRE!
~~~~
 
Yes, it's based on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS1BkF-TBng
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NCOmake
>Pommel
"Daw"
'32'
 
>You realize fucking around with something you don't understand is what's caused like half the messes we had to deal with, right?
 
"Aw stow it, I know what I'm doing, I finally think I got this thing to where I can boot up the simul-no...no that's solitaire."
 
>This is going to cause us headaches in the long run, isn't it?
 
"No more than what's going on over there."
 
'I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and-'
 
"We already knew that."
 
'BITE ME!'
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
OMake
>AJ
"Spike"
~~~~
 
>Who Ah' got comin' up, Spike?
 
"Well, it looks like you need to speak with Diamond Tiara regarding her activities in the military, you need to speak with Chrysalis regarding, uh... something with her and Chitania? You need to speak with Sunset regarding what she's been up to, you need to speak with Celestia about your magic lessons, you need to see if Jetset found 12 yet, and you need to speak with 29 to figure out what the fuck was going on with that whole thing."
 
>...When the hell did this become mah' life?
 
"What, meetings? Since you became a princess, I guess."
 
>...
 
"...I mean, that's what they do."
 
>...
 
"...I'll shut up now."
 
>Good.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NCOmake
>Chitania
 
... *flip* ...
 
... *flip* ...
 
... .... *flip* ...
 
... *flip ...
 
>What? I am just waiting for Variolus to fuck up so that I can punch something. Go bug someone else.
 
*flip* ... ...
 
... *flip* ...
 
>Heh. 'Bug'.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NCOmake
Still can't iamgine how this exchange is supposed to go otherwise.
 
>Variolus Shimmer
"32"
~~~
 
>Thirty-Two! I... am your mother.
 
"Get the fuck out of here."
 
>I can't believe you! You never call, you never write, you never do anything! What's a momma gotta do to hear from her little baby?
 
"MOM WHAT THE FUCK!?
 
>So, have you found yourself a nice mare yet?
 
"MOM!"
 
>Fine, stallion, whatever.
 
"MOTHER!"
 
>I'm not judging! I knew you were a bottom since you disguised yourself as a mare for that one guy.
 
"MY SEXUAL POSITIONS ARE NOT FOR THE PUBLIC TO KNOW!"
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Omake
>56
"???"
~~~
 
>I'm gonna talk to not mom... I'm gonna talk to not mom! Right now, right here, I'm gonna talk to not-mom and finally put my hoof down! I am going to be a stallion! I'm going to be real! I AM APPLEJACK NUMBER-
 
"Who's screaming over there!?"
 
>...OH WOW! LOOK AT THE TIME! BETTER PUT IT OFF FOR ANOTHER THREAD!
 
"Fifty six is that you? I need to talk to you!"
 
>NGH! HOOVES DON'T FAIL ME NOW!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-Canon Pinkie Preview
>Pinkie
~~~~~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6SN7PSsKR8
>Applejack is going to talk to Diamond Tiara. Sunset hunts for 32. Chrysalis is trying to find 12 and 29.
>Ooooooh, Madam Pinkie knows all! Twilight continues her investigation. Rarity does her best to translate numbers into colors. Fluttershy visits Rainbow Dash to see how she's doing. A wild Pinkie appears. Applejack faces repercussions. Discord makes commentaries because he's bored. Find out what happens next time in thread 72: Why I Oughta...and of course Senpai Fanservice!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________