_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Applejack
"Twilight"
'Pinkie'
[Dash]
{Fluttershy}
(Rarity)
^Spike^
~Various~
~~~
 
>NEXT!
 
~So, your extended family pretty much runs... all of the food growing stuff, right? Apples, oranges, you even do carrots...~
 
>Er...
 
~You do know what 'Monopoly' means, right?~
 
'AHHHHHHHHHHHH!'
 
>He didn't mean the dang board game, Pinkie!
 
'T-TOO LATE! FLASHBACKS! AHHHHHHHHHHH!'
 
~~~~
 
~So you hatched that dragon and essentially raised him to be your indentured servant.~
 
"Hoo boy, not again."
 
~Isn't that slavery-~
 
*BLAM!*
 
~AH!~
 
^I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THAT QUESTION!^
 
~~~
 
~Don't you feel kind of cheated that everyone else gets a horn, and you don't?~
 
'Nope!'
 
[Constantly.]
 
{Trust me, you don't want it.}
 
[I'd swap with Rarity. At least I'd do something.]
 
(I do things! And I need my horn!)
 
 
 
(DO NOT!)
 
[DO SO!)
 
([SONOTSONOTSONOTSONOT]
 
{Look what you've done!}
 
>They'll be at this for hours!
 
[(SONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOTSONOT)]
 
'I'll go get the beds.'
 
"It's two o' clock."
 
'Just thinking ahead, Twi.'
 
([WHYYOULITTLE-])
 
*POW!*
 
'Just thinking ahead.'
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Daw
"Pommel"
~~~
 
>So... what's the plan?
 
The unicorn was silent, troublingly so. Nothing but a stern face and quick steps.
 
The ex-pirate didn't like that.
 
>Dunno if ya' heard me, but there was a question in there concernin' plans, and the description ta' go with it. Got a plan?
 
Still silent, he remained.
 
>So, what, you're just gonna go get yourself killed instead? That it?
 
"I'm just going to talk to her, Daw."
 
>And when that don't work?
 
"..."
 
>See, you're gettin' quiet now, but maybe those ears ain't hearin' everything. I said 'when it don't work'. Notice I'm not saying if? There's no if in there, if there was some confusion. Asking you what you're planning to do when it doesn't work.
 
"It might."
 
>Bullshit. You and I both know that royals will hold the shavings off their ass in higher regard than any common folk. Ain't no way she's ever letting him out on any terms but her own, and her terms end with anyone who dares to go at her rolling down some steps, sans about three fourths of their body. She ain't having it.
 
"You've never even met her."
 
>Have you?
 
"Well, no. Not personally."
 
>Bet ya' fifty bits right now she's a vain asshole who only cares about herself.
 
"...Well, I mean, you're right from what I've heard, but-"
 
>But nothing. So, I'm going to ask again, what's the plan when she says no?
 
"...I'll think of something."
 
She scoffed, unamused.
 
>...Fine, but when the fight breaks out, you damn well better be able to think up something on the fly.
 
"Always have."
 
>Yeah, but even I know yer' gonna run out of tricks eventually. And if these aliens are anything like you said, they've got a lot of tricks themselves, and I'm just betting the head of the bundle's got more than she can spare.
 
"...They're not aliens."
 
>Pfft.
 
"And you don't HAVE to come with me, you know."
 
>Course I know it, asshole.
 
The fact she kept following him said it all.
 
"...Thanks."
 
>You just remember you still owe me.
 
"I think the scales are more in my favor now, anyway."
 
>PFFTAHAHAhAHH!
 
"..."
 
>Ain't takin' it back.
 
"Look... I have to do this. I'm not going to-"
 
>Yeah yeah, save the speech for tall dark and ugly, don't waste it on me.
 
"She's not ugly."
 
>HAH! If the others are any indication then I'm calling bullshit.
 
"...So, any chance you have a backup?"
 
>Yeah, I stab for the eyes, you go for the neck.
 
"She's covered in chitin, it's not softer in her neck."
 
>Then go for the other parts, I don't care.
 
"...This is going to go badly, isn't it?"
 
>With our track record? I'd say... this whole place is going to be on fire by the end of tomorrow.
 
"Huh... not the whole country?"
 
>I'm an optimist.
 
"Point... thanks again."
 
>Meh, I've been through scarier... least ya' ain't askin' me to go at the big one.
 
"This one almost beat the big one, actually. At least, that's what I've heard."
 
>...M'kay, guess we're gonna have to upgrade it to being the whole dang continent on fire.
 
"..."
 
>Hey, like I said... I'm an optimist.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC OMAKE!
>Pommel
"Chyrsalis"
'Daw'
~????~
~~~~
 
>Chrysalis! I need you let out my friend, 32!
 
"Hrmmm, you really want to save him that bad? You'll do ANYTHING to get him out?"
 
>Yes!
 
"ANYTHING?"
 
>YES!
 
'This better not turn inta' a sex thing-'
 
"AH HAH! Then I demand that you... help me hook up with Shining Armor!"
 
*RECORD SCRATCH!*
 
'...Wait, what?'
 
~Bronze Pommel was just your average, everyday guard...~
 
'Who... who's talking right now?'
 
~Until the day came when he found out his best friend... was in prison!~
 
'Technically that was yesterday-'
 
~And the only way to get him out... is to hook up his boss!~
 
'He don't work for him no more-'
 
~There's just one problem...~
 
*SCRATCH!*
 
~His boss is married!?~
 
'Is he? I don't know anyone here-'
 
~Now Pommel's on the trip of his life to bring together Ebony and Ivory!~
 
'That's racist!'
 
~And maybe, just maybe, he'll find his own piece of love along the way.~
 
'I'm right here!'
 
~Will he free the bug, or are his chances... squashed!~
 
'RACIST!'
 
~Find out this spring in-~
 
*THOOMTHOOM!*
 
'AH! Giant title screen!'
 
~Buggin' my boss!~
 
'He's not his boss!'
 
~Rated PG-13.~
 
'FUCK YOU!'
 
~I mean R.~
 
'THAT'S BETTER YOU FUCKER!~
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
OMAKE!
>18
"42"
~???~
~~~~
 
>...You know, I might be over-complicating this date thing.
 
"THANK YOU!"
 
>I mean, really, what's the worst that's going to-
 
~In a world, where love is forbidden...~
 
>...Did you just hear that?
 
"What the..."
 
~One changeling dares... to find her own.~
 
>...Let's see where this goes.
 
~Obstacles will hound her at every turn, as her life crumbles around her.~
 
>Not liking this anymore.
 
~Every step will be wrought with danger, as the world seeks to tear them apart.~
 
"Like, the world world?... Why? Don't people have shit to do?"
 
~And during this, she will face her greatest foe... the very princess of love.~
 
"And then she gets curbstomped because there's no chance?"
 
>...
 
"Being honest."
 
~Follow the tale of love and heartbreak in...~
 
>H-heartbreak?
 
~The Lovebugs Bite.~
 
>...
 
"...If I had to make a suggestion, don't take Shiny to that movie."
 
>YOU THINK!?
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>If you want your friend back... you have to sleep with Shining Armor!
 
'Kay.'
 
"GODDAMN NOT MORE OF THEM!"
 
>Hush, Shiny! We're about to make a mint!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
omake
 
>2
~???~
~~~~
 
>Do do do do, I am little AJ 2! DO DO DO, jumping never feelin' blue! DO DO DO-
 
~Applejack 2 was just your normal, average, everyday changeling.~
 
>...Hi voice! How are you? You doin' good?
 
~Until the day she discovered... she's actually a princess!~
 
>I knew that!
 
~Now she's on a journey of self-discovery, which will take her far and wide!~
 
>Ah'm not allowed ta' cross the street on my own...
 
~She'll face perils, adventures, even monsters!~
 
>Was plannin' on playin' candlyland, actually. Ya' wanna play Candyland?
 
~On the trail of the mystical Heart of the Earth, to restore her kingdom.~
 
>...Looks fine ta' me. See? Out the window? Lookin' good!
 
~This summer, strap in for high adventure, dark magic and even romance!~
 
>Shiny says if I hold hooves fer' more than a minute he's gettin' his gun.
 
~Get ready for... Applejack Two, and the Tale of the Earth's Heart.~
 
>Hey! We ain't franchisin' this!
 
~Rated PG-13.~
 
>....Ah'm not even old enough ta' watch that!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
OMAKE
>Spike
"DT"
~???~
~~~
 
>Oh, little gem, you are my only true friend in this world-
 
"THERE YOU ARE!"
 
>Ack!... DT, hi, how you doing?
 
"I've been looking everywhere for you! I've god a bone to pick with-"
 
~Spike the dragon and Diamond Tiara couldn't have been more different.~
 
>...Who is that?
 
"I don't... I don't...."
 
~They got along about as well as a cat and a washing machine!~
 
>We're not that bad.
 
"Yeah, that's just mean."
 
~So when Spike's long lost uncle leaves puts a clause in his last will, you can bet sparks are going to fly when it turns out...~
 
*RECORD SCRATCH!*
 
~They have to get married!?~
 
>...
"...Come again?"
 
~If Spike wants to get that million, he's got to win her over before the summer ends!~
 
>Why would we do this!?
 
"Yeah, what's in this for me? I'm already rich, and you're not exactly worth that fortune."
 
>HEY!
 
~Can he melt her diamond-hard heart, or is he going to lose something much more along the way?~
 
"The latter. The something is going to be the dick I blow off."
 
>WHOA NOW!
 
~Find out in this spring's hit romantic comedy, Dragons love Diamonds!~
 
>I like rubies better, actually-
 
~Rated R.~
 
>...
 
"...Start running."
 
>THIS WASN'T ME!
 
*CLICK*
 
"You say that like I care."
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-Canon Pinkie Preview
 
>Pinkie
~~~~~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiHu_wmZT-o
>Batmom finally gives birth to a girl and the Pommal's request to free 29 has been denied.
>Diamond Tiara attempts to get back on the A-team and pushes for an increase in military spending. Chitania continues to deteriorate as her love reserves are stretched thin. The Cutie Mark Crusaders get into an infusion accident and gain super powers. Shining Armor goes on a date with Cadence and...Cadence? Find out what happens next in thread 59: I'm Not the Godmother...and of course, political fan service!
 
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