Thread 54 archive: https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/21045744
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>AJ charged the cordies while riding on Chitania, it is still metal.
>Coco is an adorable looter
>007 and Jetset are in the cave when 41 arrives. Several racist comments follow. Then 42 follows. Then an infected follows. It's a mess.
>32 joins 77 to infiltrate the mushroom.
>Shiny and Celly wake up inside the mushroom, protected by his shields. They make their way up the stalk.
>18 is still optimistic
>Cordy starts making the bomb
>Spitfire is helping ponies
>BBB returns to canterlot, and finds 10 is infected. Heartfelt talk follows, and then she orders him not to use his weapons and just report.
>Instead, he loses his shit and decides to EXT-ER-MIN-ATE! 88.
>Dash, Pinkie, Rarity and Vekir are running from Fluttershy. Eventually, Vekir uses a secret technique for stopping her. It's disgusting.
>DT does some slapdash repairs on SS and Filthy Rich and glues them to the ceiling.
>88 sicks the cordies on Chitania
>77 and 32 charge the mushroom, and have to fight a sky of infected.
>Bluebloodbot breaks his way into the cap of the mushroom and fights 88 while demanding she "Return 10". He gets torn apart shortly after, but he DID open a hole for 77 and 32 to make it inside.
>Scootaloo and the junior wonderbolts fight the cordies
>AJ and Chitania get stopped by the Cordy surrounding it and using magic. They get pinned down.
>Actarius sees this happening while he and the other changelings are running, all of them very pissed at Applejack.
>He gives a big speech why they should help Canterlot
>The changelings left way before he got going, and go off to help.
 
>Twilight breaks down when she realizes she can't cure the Cordycops, and Chrysalis becomes quite brutal in trying to convince her to keep trying to save Shining Armor and her hive. Eventually, Twilight physically beats her back and destroys her illusion, revealing she was breaking down the whole time. Sadly, Twilight reveals there's a way to KILL the cordies, but no way to save the others. But there's no way she could ever go through with it.
>She tells Chrysalis she could, at last, rule Equestria, as since not even Celestia would survive, meaning Chrysalis would be the most powerful being on the planet, and most of her hive would survive. But she couldn't save Shining Armor, or any infected changelings.
>She offers the knowledge of how to Chrysalis.
>Chrysalis responds by giving her different knowledge instead.
>Now, Twilight knows every ability the Changeling Queens know, at least the ones Chrysalis knows how to do.
>Twilight, blankly, declares it's time to end this.
>BIG FINALE where, in order, AJ and Chitania are helped by the changelings, Diamond Tiara, Blueblood and Flim/Flam, 55, And the other three EOH still functioning while charging the mushroom
>32 and 77 battle 88 up in the cap above, trying their best to reach her, and slowly giving her the will to fight again.
>Desperate to fire off the bomb before Chitania and AJ arrive, 88 tells the Cordycops to use the same power source that changelings use, draining them of love.
>All of Canterlot is dying.
>SA and Celestia, still inside, decide there's only one way to stop it. Fool it with another power source, themselves.
>They use magic, and are drained of their love.
>Chitania runs up the side of the damn mushroom, because it's awesome.
>88 is in a pit of despair as the bomb is shot into the air.
>Chitania flies past, but is caught when the mushroom cap becomes a giant mouth and bites her.
>All is lost?
>NOPE! FASTBALL APPLEJACK!
>Seeing her fly, 88 regains the will to live again.
 
>Applejack chases it into the upper atmosphere, and stops the cordybomb with her bare hooves, keeping it together with magic.
>Then she pushes it back to earth, and it gets burned up.
>Is about to go splat, gets caught by Chitania.
>Giant mushroom turns into giant monster, and they're about to fight it.
>TWILIGHT AND CHRYSALIS OUTTA NOWHERE!
>They get the spores out of 88, and using their combined magic figure out a way to completely reverse and cure everyone in an ironic twist by using the Cordy's own methodology.
>Everyone is fixed.
>Cordy bits turns to ash.
>Day is saved.
>...Giant mushroom starts falling.
>Chitania tries to catch it, and when that doesn't work she punches it.
>"This is the dumbest thing I've ever done."
>Ash falls on all of Canterlot
>88 still wants to live.
>Cleanup time!
>Everyone who had Cordy is drained of energy.
>AJ tells everyone to start digging.
>Changelings are digging where they think 77 and 32 are. Chrysalis finds them, but they can't get past a rock and get to them. Despite having no power, Chrysalis still has her head.
>By that I mean she headbutts the rock until she can pull 88 and the other two out.
>She has no idea who 88 is.
>Wanders off
>18 and Cadence go looking for Shiny
>Celestia gets out too, dragging Shiny with her.
>He's a shriveled prune, and not breathing.
>She tries kissing him back to life, it doesn't work. So does Cadence and 18, this also does not work.
>Chrysalis arrives, and the Shiny is saved!... Chrysalis is now doing her best raisin impression, and both her and Shiny are unconscious.
>POMMEL FINALE DROPS! Because we like finales.
>Evil monster reveals past.
>Tries to take over Pommel.
>Long story short, Pommel wins, and the city sinks, and all the monsters are dead.
>We check in with Screwloose and the crew, and she's mad because she figured she could use Cordycops for her own means.... because she's crazy.
>But the zombies are gone.
>This is a good thing.
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“The excavation is going well, princess. We should have everyone out in no time.”
 
Applejack dared not sigh in relief at the guard's words, not yet.
 
All around her, ponies caked in dust were digging with everything they had. Looking for friends, loved ones, family...
 
Family...
 
Her heart positively throbbed as she thought of them. The mark of the infection had long since passed, but it wasn't all gone away, not yet. Something of what had transpired still clung to her, just as those spores had.
 
“APPLEJACK!”
 
Still, even those thoughts did nothing to prevent her from smiling wide at the sound of that voice. Openly, she stretched her hooves out wide, just in time for the excited, happy hug to launch itself right into her chest.
 
“YOU DID IT! WE ALL DID IT! WEDIDITDIDITDIDIT!”
 
The pink party pony bounced on her openly, uncaring in the least about potential wounds.
 
Neither, it seemed, did the other three who tackled her.
 
“APPLEACK!”
 
“Oh, darling, you're all right!”
 
“THAT WAS AWESOME!... I mean, okay, I really need to know why you were on her head and why she let you and all that, but seriously, AWESOME!”
 
“Gimme some room ta' breath, dang.”
 
Sheepishly, the four let her go, letting her get back to her hooves and stand again.
 
“Shoot... Ah'm glad yer' all okay.”
 
“Us? Um, Applejack, I don't think it's us you need to worry about.”
 
Nervously, Fluttershy pointed to the mare's hooves.
 
Her still very black, very burned, hooves.
 
“Ain't nothing.”
 
“SHENANIGANS! I CALL SHENANIGANS!”
 
She rolled her eyes, unable to stop as Pinkie pointed at her threateningly.
 
“AJ, you're clearly not okay.”
 
“Ah'm fine, Ah' said, dang.”
 
“I have to agree.”
 
All five ears perked up at the sound of the newcomers voice, a grin splitting every single face.
 
“Applejack, you need to stop. Just because you're not-OOF!”
 
And then, of course, they all tackled her hard.
 
Twilight, for her part, was amused.
 
“YOU DID IT, TWILIGHT!”
 
“We knew you could do it!”
 
“Never doubted you for a second, dear.”
 
“No plants smarter than the princess of eggheads, that's for sure!”
 
“Atta girl, Twi.”
 
She just shrugged, sheepish.
 
“Please don't hug me, I'm pretty sure my chest would cave in.”
 
All heads, save for Twilight's, snapped over to look behind the lavender mare. More specifically, at the many-legged changeling walking towards them.
 
More specifically than that, at the purple dragon sitting atop her back, who weakly waved at them.
 
They, of course, accepted his request, and did not hug him.
 
The noogies were no better.
 
“ACK!”
 
“Heh, glad to see you're okay, Spike!”
 
“YOU WERE HUUUUGGGGGE!”
 
“And scary...”
 
“Oh yes, quite the freight. Really, darling, when a lady tells you to look out, look out.”
 
“I missed all of that.”
 
“Trust me... ya' didn't wanna see it.”
 
He winced slightly at her tone, but said nothing.
 
“Well, my once most faithful student, it seems you've saved the world yet again.”
 
Two separate guards held her up as the tallest princess walked towards them, a weak smile upon her face.
 
“Princess! You're okay!... Does that mean-”
 
“Your brother is alive, thanks to Chrysalis.”
 
“Oh... good.”
 
There was something unnerving about the look on Twilight's face, but they couldn't quite put their respective extruding appendages on it.
 
“Is she-”
 
“Unconscious, I'm afraid. Your sister in law is looking for Forty Two. After she is found, they have been ordered to return home for some rest. The train is already waiting for them.”
 
“Good... good.”
 
They all looked to each other, unsure what to say.
 
“So... the day's saved, right? Nothing more really to say?”
 
“A-hem, actually...”
 
Twilight cast a glance to the orange princess, a nervous look on her face.
 
“Um, I think we need to discuss-”
 
There was an absolute eruption of ash, dust and stone not ten feet away from the group. Like a geyser, is spread everywhere, scattering everything to the wind.
 
From within came a deathly, booming roar.
 
...Followed by a long, long line of hacking.
 
“GLLKK! Dumbest thing I have ever done. Full stop, the end, dumbest thing I have ever done. Next time, I'm just going to let the thing the size of this fucking city fall on it.”
 
With one wave of her, thankfully not Titanic sized, hoof, the dust was cast away.
 
And Chitania was revealed.
 
She flippantly cracked her neck, bending slightly this way and that.
 
“Ugh... what a workout, haven't had to deal with that since-”
 
At last, she noticed their stunned gaze, and grinned.
 
“Well, isn't this quite the coincidence. Just who I wanted to see-”
 
The first fire was just a glimmer in the very corner of her eye. The others went off before she could even twitch. Eight perfect balls of purple flame, surrounding her on all sides in a perfect ring.
 
“CHITANIA!”
 
The booming, authoritative voice managed to match, perhaps even surpass, the roar the Queen herself had unleashed.
 
“WE WOULD HAVE WORDS WITH THEE!”
 
She landed like a meteor, kicking dust everywhere as all four hooves hit earth. Her starlight mane was ragged, full of debris, but floated all the same. The Princess of the Night stood tall, her horn burning with power.
 
Chitania was unbothered.
 
“Really, now? After all that?”
 
Threateningly, Luna jutted her hoof out, pointing straight at the smirking Queen.
 
“Your actions... will be considered. From the accounts gathered from our subjects, we have found that, yes, you were active in the salvation of Equestria. We shall not deny you that thanks.”
 
Her horn blazed harder, the flames all around the Queen becoming ever brighter.
 
“HOWEVER! ONE ACT OF ALTRUISM CANNOT WASH AWAY YOUR DEEDS! YOUR PREVENTION OF DESTRUCTION IS NOT EQUAL TO THAT YOU CAUSED! Your acts shall be held in your favor, we shall assure you that, but you shall be tried, and sentenced to justice thusly! The blade may have left thine neck, Chitania, but you shall not be forgiven so easily! You shall be held until your trial, and then-”
 
She laughed.
 
Chitania honestly, powerfully, laughed,
 
“SILENCE!”
 
But she would not.
 
“AHAHAHAH! AHHHHAHAHAHAHAH! Ohhhh... not quite. There will be no trial, no punishment.”
 
Luna seethed with rage, horn still lit despite the obvious strain it put upon her.
 
“Isn't that right... Princess Applejack?”
 
All eyes turned to the flinching, unsettled looking mare.
 
“Well?”
 
She sighed, defeated, before walking between the Queen and the mare of the night.
 
“Luna... ya' gotta let her go.”
 
“WE SHALL DO NO SUCH THING!”
 
“Luna... Celestia... Ah... Ah' made a deal with her... to stop Spike.”
 
As one, they all recoiled back in horror. Desperately, she began to plead.
 
“Ah' didn't know what else ta' do! None of us could stop him, none of us could even hurt him! Ah' needed someone ta' put him down without, ya' know... 'putting him down'! So... so Arana called her up, and...”
 
She lowered her head in shame, unable to continue.
 
“A complete and total pardon of all crimes committed up to, but not exceeding, the successful incapacitation of Spike the Dragon. This includes foreign crimes recognized by your government, and comes with the added bonus of complete and utter safety from extradition. Under no circumstances am I to be sent off for crimes committed in other countries. Every house broken, every body destroyed, every crime I could be cast upon, stricken from the record. Completely... and utterly...”
 
With that, Chitania threw her head back once more, a massive cackle booming in her chest.
 
“Ah'm sorry... Ah' didn't know what else to do...”
 
“Applejack...”
 
Sadly, Twilight placed a hoof on her friend's shoulder, comforting.
 
“...I would have done the same thing.”
 
“...No! NO! WE SHALL NOT!”
 
The power around Chitania only intensified, in tandem with the inferno that blazed in Luna's eyes.
 
“WE SHALL NOT ACCEPT THIS! Sister! We are her elders! We outrank her! Surely we can veto such a boon!”
 
“Yes, we can.”
 
Chitania's laughter died right there.
 
With an almost insulted look, Celestia's eyebrow rose.
 
“What? Did you really think I would allow any princess to hold such absolute power, even myself? No one princess could make such a far reaching choice alone, and not have to assuage to the majority if we should contest it. We offered you nothing, Chitania. And if we want, we can take it back right now.”
 
Luna's face lit up almost as brightly as her horn, grinning a malicious grin from ear to ear.
 
But Chitania's reaction... confused them.
 
She did not look betrayed. She did not look angry. She did not even look surprised. Her face was mostly indescribable, but the closest they could place it is the look of a weary, older mare who had the chair pulled out from behind her by a famous prankster. It annoyed her, it certainly inconvenienced her... but it didn't surprise her. She expected one thing, got it taken away, and now she had to deal with it. Nothing more, nothing less.
 
“...Fine, let's get this over with.”
 
With an almost bored energy, she swung back her hoof, and prepared to punch... something. What, they weren't sure, since she was not pointed at any of them, but in a moment, none of it mattered.
 
“There is no need for that.”
 
The tired, defeated tone in Celestia's voice took away Luna's grin as easily as Chitania's had been taken.
 
“I said we did not have to accept this... but we will.”
 
Everyone gasped, and Applejack herself looked positively crestfallen.
 
“You were made an offer to come to our aid in a time of crises, and you did so. By the fact none of my subjects were killed, you fulfilled your end of the bargain to satisfactory levels, even if, from what I have heard, you sustained quite the beating during.”
 
She scoffed, rolling her eyes.
 
“Wasn't that bad.”
 
“We would be despicable things if we turned on you now, after your end of the bargain was completed and you suffered so much at our behest. She made this call alone, but we, all of us, must accept that in the end, she did so to protect our subjects, and you did so without causing death to another. If we were to take this from you now, or reduce it once your end could no longer bargain or barter... none would ever have reason to trust us again. We, as the rulers of Equestria, must hold ourselves to our word... no matter how despicable that word is.”
 
She waved her nose as her sister, motioning to her.
 
“Release her. She is free of all crimes and debts, such is the word of the Princesses of Equestria.”
 
Luna had never, in her entire life, wanted to disobey and lash out at her sister. But the older mares words rang true...
 
And she obeyed.
 
“...AHAHAH!”
 
Again, Chitania laughed.
 
“I didn't actually think you'd do it! But you did!? YOU DID!? You actually... AHAHAHAHAHAH!”
 
Wildly, she stomped around, grinning a fanged, toothy grin as she did so.
 
“I am free!? I am free! I may go to any corner of your land! I may walk openly in the sun! None may challenge me! None may attempt to imprison me! I may seek any book, I may travel to any location, none my stop my search now, and I may do it openly!”
 
She threw her head back, laughing to the world.
 
“I MAY GO WHEREVER I PLEASE, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN-”
 
“A-hem... aaaactually...”
 
Again, all eyes turned to the orange mare, who's face had now gone flat, and emotionless.
 
“That ain't true.”
 
There that look was again. The chair had once again been pulled away.
 
“Oh, what, now you're going to say you put in some loophole, and now I'm going to be arrested anyway? You're going to blame me for tearing up your streets as I caught you?... Fine, let's just get this over with.”
 
Sternly, she shook her head.
 
“Nope. Ah' am a mare of mah' word. Ah' ain't no flim flammer or cheat, what'cha see is what'cha get with me.”
 
“So, what part of what I said isn't true?”
 
“Well... can someone get me a map and a highlighter? Big old map too, not just o' these parts... And ya' better make it a red highlighter.”
 
Obediently, a soldier ran off, and came back after a far too awkward time with the requested items.
 
Applejack unfolded it all, and started marking. And marking.
 
Her tongue poked out the side of her mouth as she thought to herself, and then marked some more.
 
Finally, she nodded in satisfaction, and handed the map to Chitania.
 
A map with a lot of red on it.
 
“What is this?”
 
“Them's the places ya' can't go.”
 
Her face scrunched up in amusement, before again she threw her head back and laughed.
 
“You really think you can keep me from these places?”
 
“...Right, sorry, those are the places ya' can't go, without us arresting you.”
 
“...WHAT!?”
 
Suddenly, those large sections of red seemed even... larger.
 
“What trickery is this!?”
 
“Ain't no foolin'. Those parts just ain't ours, that's outside of Equestria.”
 
Confusion overtook the Titan.
 
“...What?”
 
“Ain't complicated. That's the gryphons over there, that there's Maretonia, there's a place that's privately owned, ya' get what Ah'm sayin? We ain't got no say in their government. As such, we can't forgive ya' fer' crimes ya' committed over there.”
 
Her head spun with questions. Many, many questions.
 
“So... what does that have to do with you? You said you wouldn't extradite me.”
 
“Fer' any o' the crimes you committed up till now. However, Chitania, fleein' a country yer' wanted in is a crime, ya' know. So, iffin' ya' say, ran over ta' the gryphons and came back, we could extridite ya' fer' the crime of fleein' a country where yer' wanted. Iffin' ya' go outside o' this bubble, yer' back ta' square one.”
 
That feeling beneath her began to sink.
 
“Oh, yeah, probably should get ya' up ta' speed. Couple o' years all icy ain't done nothin' fer yer current law knowledge, and Ah' doubt ya' gave a care recently. Can Ah' get some lawbooks over here?”
 
Chitania's lip curled into a snarl as that sinking feeling intensified.
 
“So, you plan to get me for some minor crime?”
 
“Nope. See, here's where it gets really fun. Ah'm not gonna treat ya' any different than Ah' would anybody else... and ya' know what? That means if we catch ya' committin' a crime, you get charged for that crime, and nothin' else, just like everybody else. You commit a crime ta' go ta' jail for, off ya' go. Ya' commit a minor felony, ya' pay a fine. Everythin' is gonna be plum equal with you, but ya' know what? Ah'm not worried. Cause ya' know what is a crime?”
 
The lawbooks were produced, and opened with a flourish.
 
“Article thirteen o' this here volume, impersonatin' a pony or other species fer' the purpose of a crime is two years in jail. Simply pretendin' ta' be someone else is identity theft, that's a bare minimum eight thousand bit fine. Assault? That's gonna get ya' between a week, ta' twenty years in the slammer, dependin'. Then ya' gotta worry about damage just walkin' around in yer' big form, that'll cost ya-”
 
“Why are you telling me this?”
 
She hooked her hooves up, slamming the book shut.
 
“Cause, ya' gal danged bug monster, Ah' don't think fer' one moment ya' can manage this. Ya' wanna know why?”
 
Her eyes narrowed, cutting into her with a dark gaze.
 
“Cause a'fore now? That's when ya' were really free. Ya' went where ever you wanted, ya' did whatever ya' felt like. Ya' smashed cities, ya' knocked the tar outta whoever looked at ya' cross. Ya' beat, battered and broke anyone ya' felt like, and ya' did it all with a smile. Ya' were free a'fore this, ya' idiot, and we couldn't stop you... but now?”
 
She shoved the lawbook into the changeling's hooves, sternly tapping it.
 
“Now? Yer' actually trapped. Ya' could just go hogwild, go right back ta' square one, but we both know you don't want to. You fought, bled and dang near died fer' this. This was worth settin' yer throat on fire for. And now? Iffin' ya' want ta' keep it?... Well, get comfortable.”
 
She flung her forelegs out wide, to the city beyond.
 
“Cause this is yer' cage now. Society, life and responsibilities. This is what's holdin' ya' down now. You'll break, Ah'll catch you, and there won't be no more of this. This was the one time ya' got off scott free... and it's the last. Welcome to Equestria, Chitania. We ain't stuck here with you... Yer' locked in here with ME.”
 
She snarled.
She growled.
She hissed.
 
...Applejack didn't so much as flinch.
 
“...This won't matter, someday.”
 
With those cryptic words, Chitania turned, and started to walk away.
 
“Your petty politics aren't going to matter in the end, Applejack... and now? You've made me mad. Good luck.”
 
The black shape vanished into the distance... and she was gone.
 
“....Wooo, uh... way to go AJ. That was pretty- Hey! Where are you going?”
 
The orange princess didn't turn to acknowledge her, still walking away at a brisk, easy pace.
 
“...T-Twilight? Rar? Can Ah' ask a favor?”
 
The two shared a look, but nodded.
 
“Can ya'... Can ya' handle getting everyone outta the ash? Ah' gotta... Ah' need ta' be someplace.”
 
“Of course, Applejack. You go on.”
 
“Thanks... thanks...”
 
She continued on, head bowed the whole way.
 
“Is that the direction of the train station?”
 
Nobody answered Dash's question. None need to.
 
“Thought so.”
 
“Darling, do you think she'll be alright?”
 
Easily, Twilight nodded.
 
“Yes... I do. She just needs some time... home.”
 
“Oh, good... by the way, why did she only mention us?”
 
“Princesses, Rarity.”
 
“Oh, right... but if that's the case, why not-”
 
WHUMP!
 
The guard let out a comical squawk as Celestia fell over, crushing him with her mass.
 
Nonetheless, the white princess was smiling.
 
“Oh... what about-”
 
THUMP!
 
None was around to catch Luna, unfortunately.
 
“Oh... well... what are you waiting for!? Dig, stallions, dig!”
 
“YES MA'AM!”
 
With that in unison salute out of the way, they all resumed work, no longer staring at the goings on before them.
 
“She'll be okay, right?”
 
Once more, Twilight turned to the dragon, a warm, understanding smile on her face.
 
“Applejack will be just fine... just give her time. All we need right now...”
 
Her eyes trailed over the destruction, and all still yet to be saved.
 
“...is a little time...”
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NC
 
> SA
"Potatojack"
'Crystal Guard'
~~~~
> This is going to take a lot of work to dig everypony out. If only-
 
A train pulls up to the station and an army Crystal Ponies pour out with Potatojack leading the way.
 
"Mrrrrrrrrrrrrmph!!!...mmphm? Mruhmph mrrm muhng mrgh?"
 
'...Uh, I thought you said the Prince and Princess were in danger. Where's all infected screeching ponies? Are we too late?'
 
> Actually...you're just in time. Grab a shovel...
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NOTE: -NOT- A STORY, BUT REALLY WELL DONE THEORYCRAFTING, POSTING IT HERE ANYWAY
 
Finally finally FINALLY got to read the Pommel finale, and you know what? I'm about to sperg, and I'm sorry.
 
First off, this is not resurrecting the debate, this is just a theory from my brainjuice. Why? Because it's fucking fun of course! I'm that probably annoying guy who chimes in everytime a new piece of technology comes and happily goes "Ooooo~! How does that work!?" Because, as autistic as it is, I actually love the fuck out of worldbuilding, and this new mythos tickled my fancy in all the right ways.
 
However, it was while reading that debate that it stuck me that the change from the original where it ate souls didn't just make sense, this catapulted a confusing methodology to something possibly BRILLIANT, and rather than what he said, Pommel Anon's biggest helper right now is that tricksy mistress, continuity and canon.
 
Again, I apologize, cause I'm about to ramble, so skip me if you don't want to see a guy having fun theorizing about the grander plots behind a fictional giant evil monster and his methodology, I understand, and would join you in walking away if I didn't fear what would happen if the skeleton was left unattended. I promise you, after this, I will write some likely bad comedy to make up for this wankery.
 
Well, for those of you who didn't just flick back to porn let me clear up what I meant when I said continuity makes this brilliant. Specifically, you might find surprising, 29's side story and the 32 dream arc sidestory. Yes, that's right, these three side-arcs unrelated to our main cast fit together like Lion-O fitting in the He-Man-Mobile I was a poor child, and do not know the names... and turned what was just a basic plot into a mastermind move that could have wrecked the world.
 
>But how, clearly crazy person?
 
Glad you asked, sock puppet whom I have done things to I can never take back! First, to understand this, we need to understand a couple things.
 
First off, souls, and not the terrible food kind. What do we know about souls? Well, for starters, they're conscious. They can walk talk and all that jazz. Second, they don't go to the happy place/bad place right away, they can stick around if they're not ready to let go yet. Third, and most importantly, the flash.
 
What is that flash, exactly? Just a teleport? The soul exploding when going to heaven? What it looks like when Willy Wonka orgasms? Well, to answer that, we're going to have to go deeper like your mom on a wendsday night. We know a couple things about the flash. 1, it takes them away instantly, 2, they said they felt being pulled when they went with 29 to the hivemind, 3, and this is were it gets real important, it HURTS THEM, their eyes, I mean. People's eyes.... ponies eyes... you fucking know what I mean. And thank you 29 anon, for your random comedy, because guess what? That's right, there's a story out there where 29 is riding a hot air balloon, and the flash causes a spark to make it explode. That's right, the flash doesn't just give a lightshow, it physically affects the world.
 
>That doesn't answer anything!
 
Hush, you. Because call me Nolan's bastard child because we've got more dream layers to go, and I mean that literally.
 
To understand why this is a big deal, we need to look to revolutionbug himself, 32. Back when he was on his mind trip, he met up with his dear old mom. Both him, and 29, proved there's another afterlife out there for them. But how, do you recall, did dear Changeling-hitler say hiel?
 
That's correct, reader who spoke out loud because they are also crazy. Past 32, and this phrasing is key, OPENED A BRIDGE to the hivemind. He even mentions having to maintain it.
 
So, let's put those megablocks together! I said I was poor We have, a soul who is feeling pulled, a bright flash of light that has after effects, and the one time a soul crossed from one side to the other we had a bridge. Put it all together and what do you have? That's right, Faustmom doesn't just teleport them, she opens a point in reality and lets them in! DUNDUNDUUUUUNNN!
 
>You are really rambling now.
 
Back on target! So, how does that relate to tall dark and scary, and what makes this smarter than the average Eldridge-bear? Well, to answer that, we need to look at the main mare herself, Faustmom.
 
What do we know about her, from her appearances? Well, she's playful, sometimes a little lazy, loves her kids and screws around with Chitty sometimes, but never stops her or hurts her in any way. She can play with the physical world, but she can't change it. She's nice, but she lets them make their own destiny, and does not fight for any of them unless, as was revealed by tall dark and scary himself, they involve her.
 
>But didn't you read that windy bullshit? They did involve her!
 
You see this shit? This is why you're never going to be an eldritch horror, anon. You fucking suck at this. Because here's the third act twist, HE DIDN'T! And not in the way you think!
 
Okay, so, initial plan was he ate souls and yadda yadda yadda. You are correct, in that alternate timeline where season 3 was amazing and everyone eats shit and pisses out cornflakes, this would have been a plothole where she would kick it's ass and whatever, because benevolent gods don't blahbitty whatever and having an omnipotent god who is watching every reality to make sure this one comes out okay is boring and lame from a writing standpoint and who cares. Him eating souls would be bad.
 
But that's not what he does. And this is why that's brilliant.
 
As Pommel explained, he just holds onto them for a sec, but they still go on to the afterlife. So, what's the point, said my brain before it told me to kill the whores. Well, two reasons, for which I'll explain. 1, to keep faustmom from realizing it's alive, since it went into that gem to hide, remember, and 2... to make it so that even if she does see it, SHE CAN'T DO SHIT, and I'll explain why!
 
Since as we've explained, that flash is a point where the souls are pulled into the nice place. However, since that flash gives off energy, that means when that door opens, something comes out into THEIR world. That light seeps out when Faust comes knocking. Something that, say, it could eat? It doesn't need to push them to the world beyond. As established by the ghostkids who went with 29, Faustmom can pull them from ANYWHERE, including other afterlifes entirely. All it needs to do is pull their souls into the gem, and wait for Faustmom to come collect.
 
>So, she would know about it.
 
Possibly, depends on how well the souls see. But three things prevent that, 1, it's hidden in the gem, 2, it's in the middle of a warzone where souls would be, and it's not killing anyone personally, and 3... it's not doing SHIT to the souls. It doesn't need to, Faustmom does all the work of leaking her power to it when she comes to pick up the kids from school.
 
And here's the kicker, it doesn't matter if she did. She can't do SHIT to it, because it's not doing anything to her job.
 
>...But it's holding souls.
 
NOPE! It's dragging them into his voidspace, and saying "Come and get it!" He's not draining, touching or hurting them, he's just sitting back and waiting for Faustmom to do all the work. All that soul energy she gives off? Was what was going to leak out into the world anyway. She was going to lose it one way or the other. And this is where it gets real fun.
 
Even if Faustmom knows about it, what's she supposed to do?
 
She's a nice, caring pony who wants the best for her kids, she wants them to go to the good place, we know this from every single appearance. So, if someone's got her souls... she can't just leave them there, what's she supposed to do?
 
>Kick it's ass?
 
For what? He's not affecting her doing her job. It's not standing in her way. She is the one who has to choose to pick them up, and it's not stopping her, draining her, fighting her or antagonizing her. If she came down to fight it, she'd be affecting and changing the world. Would she do that if their immortal souls were in danger? Probably? But as it is? It's out of her realm entirely! The ultimate loophole!
 
>This seems like a lot of effort on it's part.
 
Here's where it gets brilliant. It might not even realize that, because that's not it's plan. What is it's plan?
 
>Take over the world?
 
OF COURSE! But ask yourself, why wouldn't it think she would just come down and kick it's ass?
 
>...Because she can't interfere-
 
Right right right, but why would IT think that? Last time they met, she interfered the hell out of it. Interfered it's ass all over the lawn.
 
So, why then would it assume she wouldn't again? Pull off the mask, here's the final twist, IT DOESN'T. It thinks she's coming down when that rampage starts.
 
And that's why, specifically, it went after souls, why it went after the thing that had stopped it before, HER POWER.
 
It's preparing for a fight, and it's using HER POWER to do it!
 
All of this? This world? It's just using it to get ready for a rematch, a rematch it plans to win this time.
 
And Faustmom can't do shit until it finally comes knocking.
 
Or it least it would have... if not for a random guard named Pommel.
 
But hey, that's all just a theory.
 
Sorry for the splurg, but I LOVE mythos shit to death. Thanks for the ride, Pommel anon, it was one hell of a trip, and I hope you'll write more I can have fun with.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>???
"???"
'???'
~~~~~~~
 
>Is this punishment? I feel like this is punishment.
 
'MRPHPMPM!'
 
"WE'RE DIGGING FOR FUCKS SAKE! Faust above!"
 
>Right? He has a real ungrateful streak.
 
'MRPHMOMMM!'
 
"By the by? We are never visiting this place again. Period. Ever. Done. We are DONE."
 
>You're telling me. Figured we were done with the mind control shit.
 
"But here we are... fuck, we are getting on the first train back to the Crystal Empire. The FIRST ONE."
 
'MROHAMMAOM!'
 
>Oh, shoot, I just realized we spent all our bonus money.
 
"All that effort wasted."
 
>MPRRRPPPPMMMMM!
 
>Oh hush! At least this isn't as bad as the paperwork!
 
"At least this ash isn't coming alive...."
 
>....
"...."
>...
"..."
 
'....Mrphn? MRRRPHM!?'
 
*Shuffleshuffle*
 
'MROH! HOM!'
 
>N-noooo... we're not backing up....
 
"...Very far...."
 
'MRPM!'
 
>This sucks more than the temp job.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>18
"???"
'???'
[???]
{???}
~~~~
 
>...Because of course.
 
The fact she didn't expect there to be a trap door immediately under a seemingly random rock on the outskirts of Canterlot was somehow more worrying to her than the fact she actually found said thing.
 
Cadence had been oddly insistent that she not be the one to go and collect dear Punchbug after Twilight revealed their location. This normally would have worried her, but she was far, far more concerned with going and getting her best buddy out of that dank hellhole and back to the sun. As such, she was more than willing to go through the long... long... long... long tunnel. Far too long. Far too long and filled with traps.Traps which would have killed someone else.
 
Thank the highest of the hivemind for Changeling.
 
>...Oh, this is such bullshit.
 
Of course, there was a locked door in front of her. Of course there was. Why would she ever expect any differently?
 
And, of course, she didn't know the code.
 
>...Shiny has a huge dick.
 
She hates that this was the first thing that popped into her mind.
 
She hates even more that the door swung open after that.
 
>I hate my life sometimes-OH FUCK!
 
There was way, way more blood everywhere than she had been mentally prepared for.
 
"...Hi..."
 
There was only one still standing in the middle of the room.
 
Who, she had no idea.
 
>...who the hell!?
 
"Uh... Suckerpunch of the royal guard, and I'm... not supposed to be here."
 
>Right, well-FUCK! What happened to you!?
 
The changeling bleeding on the floor glared at her. Not that she could tell, he looked to be having trouble seeing out of one eye. An eye with a rather large bruise on it.
 
>I'm sorry, did you try to roll down a damn spikepit or something? You have far more holes in you thank you should!
 
[Please do not mention the word Spike right now.]
 
>...Oh, shit.
 
'I-it's probably your fault.'
 
The quiet, shaking voice in the corner almost went unheard.
 
Almost.
 
[FUCK OFF YOU DAMN FLAKE-... NO EIGHTEEN PLEASE NO!]
 
She held her hoof she had been preparing to kick him with in place, thoughtful.
 
>...I'm willing to blame that on the bloodloss.
 
[Please, she tried to use me as a freaking chitinshield against the damn zombie, do not make me hurt more!]
 
Wearily, she lowered her hoof.
 
>...That bad?
 
[It was a nightmare! Those two assholes kept leaving me, and that thing just kept coming back more and more! It hurt so much, but I had to keep fighting, had to keep throwing my knives, I even shot him, but those jerks just flew up into the fucking air and left me!]
 
'Maybe if you didn't say in so many words how glad you were I was going to die...'
 
>...Questioning that later, but I would like to iterate, I do not care. Seven, you are an agent, it comes with the territory.
 
[THAT'S BULLSHIT!]
 
>Fine, whatever. I'm looking for- OH MY GOSH!
 
The pile of mostly green substance and broken chitin twitched, ever so slightly.
 
>Forty Two! NOOOOO!
 
Dramatically, Eighteen took her into her forelegs.
 
>NOOOO! YOU BASTARDS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOONNNNEEE!? FORTY TWO! NO! NOOO! NOT WHEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT! NOT NOW! YOU BASTARDS, NOT-
 
{They're not the ones who are taking my hearing.}
 
>...
 
She was relieved her friend was alive, really.
 
She just didn't feel like vocalizing it.
 
>...Okay, you look like you just tried to punch a rocket! ALL OF THE ROCKETS!
 
{...Not too far off, actually...}
 
>Not questioning that... YOU! Stallion pony!
 
"Suckerpunch."
 
>You grab hold of Seven, and start carrying.
 
"He uh... he tried to stab me like, twice."
 
>TOO BAD! I'm taking my buddy here, headbandmgee is taking... whoever the fuck that is-
 
[It WAS a zombie.]
 
"His names Steam G-"
 
>DON'T CARE! She's carrying him.
 
'Why me?'
 
>Seven is a racist.
 
 
 
{And I'm not a changeling. I'm a purple gryphon in disguise.}
 
[YOU SHUT UP!]
 
>Alright, we all set? Good! March, ponies-
 
"Um..."
 
>...Fuck you and fuck your um shit.
 
"No no, it's just... who's carrying that guy?"
 
>...That guy?
 
[YOU ARE!]
 
"What? Why me?"
 
 
 
>What is... awww, lookit yoooou! You're hugging your little buddy-
 
Never, in her life, had Eighteen felt true, worried pause.
 
Until the moment that the pony beneath Seven cast her a deadly, hateful glare.
 
>...A-ahem... Stallion? You're carrying him. You all ready to move out? Me and Forty Two here have a date with Cadence and Shiny!... Figuratively.
 
{...On second thought, leave me down here, it's nice.}
 
>...
 
{I love the view.}
 
>...
 
{I want to get into decorating.}
 
>...
 
{...I'm seriously considering suicide.}
 
>TOO BAD!
 
{Considering intensifies.}
 
>Alright team... MOVE OUT!
 
One by one, they left with their various occupants on their backs, marching out before, annoyed, Eighteen slammed the door shut.
 
This slam was so powerful, it opened all the hidden compartment, and spilled the dozen or so love harnesses and complete armory of weaponry onto the floor.
 
In the darkness, they seemed to laugh.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
~~~~
 
The sun shined as they all stepped out into the light, eyes wincing with pain and sluggish movements in their steps.
 
>...So... looks like, uh... looks like you were right, Marey.
 
She coughed, awkwardly rubbing her throat and looking all around.
 
"Told you so..."
 
Zecora nodded, legs oddly wobbly as she stepped forwards.
 
'Indeed, your plan was strange but bold. In the end, it was us who was told.'
 
>You know your stuff.
 
'Mmhmm...'
 
Another long, awkward silence happened.
 
"... So, uh, we just never going to speak of what happened in there again?"
 
Nervously, 29 shuffled, rubbing his front hoof on the ground.
 
>...We should probably take all that to the grave...
 
Zecora winced, rubbing the side of her head.
 
'What happens in the hut, stays in the hut. That is what we said when the door was first shut.'
 
"...I had fun."
 
>We could all tell that... I did too.
 
'But still, when the world is coming to its final call... we tend to let sanity fall.'
 
>Indeed! Well, that awkwardness aside... if thou does not mind, find our lost companion and make sure she is still fine! I have business to attend to Canterlot, the land of the royalty I so desire!
 
"...You can just say 'I'm worried about-"
 
>I'M COMING COUSIIIIINNNNN!
 
With that, he flew away at top speed.
 
"...Think he should have taken a shower first?"
 
'...Nah...'
 
"...I had fun..."
 
'...Me too...'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
The train car moved slowly along, the engine crew were probably being asked too much by her when she found them battened down cowering in a siding shed and promised them way too much compensation if they can get a single train car to Ponyville as soon as possible, wading through residual mounds of ash, sometimes she had to be told there was somepony laying on the tracks, and she'd clumsily haul them to somewhere more comfortable, as they groggily regained consciousness.
 
It was as the train jerked uneasily into the tunnel that Applejack was able to get a good look at herself in the reflection of the window. She was the very definition of burnt.
 
Her mane was scorched, most burnt an ugly auburn where it hadn't been frayed an ashen black, her fur was singed and clumped, her mane was an utter unco-ordinated mess, hat and hair ties were somewhere in the upper atmosphere, leaving the rest to be windswept and to clump and split, her wing feathers had wilted and slowly fell away till her wings were almost patchworky by any pegasus' standards, her horn felt brittle and lumpen at the same time, weighing on her head her hooves were raw, chaffed and burnt; intermittent sparks of magic confusedly running over them, and her eyes were bloodshot in a very literal sense, they were raw and tired and red red red red red red red red-
 
Applejack took a long look at the mare in the window, allowing herself to recollect what she had been through, the deal she made with the titanic bug monster, her rounding-up of the spore bomb, how she had soared higher than she had ever flown, the resignation that she let flow through her in the fall; happy to just have saved everyone. Even keep one up on Chitania, she must’ve saved so many ponies livelihoods in that loophole alone.
 
"Ahh, horseapples..."
 
At the same time, she tried to not think about if Twi and Chrysalis hadn't shown up to fix everything, she had banked on it, no dice, but all those long hours scribbling decrees and forms in her office, fighting back the voices that called for her to give up and spread, hoping against hope she would fix everything? She was amazed she didn’t give in.
 
Except, she nearly had, the promise of peace, of being whole, of being with her friends, her family, her-
 
“..Stupid…stupid stupid…”
 
Spike had saved her, his roar managed to break the trance so she could fight back, if I wasn’t for Spike, and if it wasn’t for Celestia…and if it wasn’t for Twilight, and Chitania, and Flim and Flam, and Diamond Tiara.
 
Applejack leaned back in her seat, staring at the ceiling, she had done her part, everyone did their part, there was no such thing as a single hero saving the day, that was just hootenanny you get from comic books and dumb plays, it was all a group effort. And yet, all those ink-wells, the parchments, the mental scurrying, had all those forms gone to waste? Had anyone even seen them outside her door, bent to pick one up, and just read the damn thing?
 
Not even Spike did, understandable however it was for dragons to be less inclined to working in bureaucracy, but in the end, those forms, all those plans and forms, the one thing she set her heart on to try and help ponies, and it was likely lost in a pile of stone and mortar.
 
Oddly, she didn’t cry, all of that work put in would've made any academically minded pony jump into a lake out of despair, but she just felt….exhausted more than disappointed, despite that ever niggling thought to demand more, even Cadence must’ve done more tangible work than she did through this hell, Luna and Celestia were zapping mushrooms again and again actually helping ponies, and herself had locked herself away and scribbled paperwork away, like she always had done when she ascended.
 
She mulled these thoughts over, just wondering to herself; How? It wasn’t even that specific, she didn’t know what she was asking, it just came to her again and again; How?
A bump in the car shook her awake, the train was slowly inching out of the tunnel, on the main stretch home.
 
Home.
 
Applejack didn’t feel any easier as the thought sunk in, she racked her mind for the first words she’d say to Apple Bloom, Big Mac, Granny… and she was at a loss, she didn’t know what to do. Was she going to comfort them? Assure them? Apologise to them? Ask for their forgiveness? Had she failed them? Did those visions she nearly captivate to come from the fungus’ malign influence, or had they come from her? Had they even “survived” the infection? Were they buried in the ashes like in Canterlot? Did they need her help desperately? Did she even cross their minds at all? Or where they constantly thinking and expecting and hoping of her?
 
She just wanted to go home, to go to her family, to just…BE with them, she felt like she had so much to do, and she just wanted to go where she knew herself, where others knew her and understood her, not lost amongst piles of meaningless and useless paperwork.
 
“…Ah just wanna go home…”
 
She felt sleep come and call her, lying herself onto the seat as the exhaustion began to take it’s unpaid toll on her, she could’ve flown down and saved the train crew the trouble, but she didn’t trust her wings after what they went through.
 
Fitfully, Applejack slept.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>???
~~~~~~~
 
This day was perfect.
 
That's what the soldier known only as 'Crumbles' thought to himself as he diligently stood on his tower by the train station. A guard was always meant to be stationed here to ensure no unsavories or the like got off the train and caused a ruckus, but everyone knew the Train Shift's real name. 'Vacation Shift'.
 
Because there were shops of all kinds next to the train, obviously for the tourist money, and there was a nice, big, comfy seat where the guards could 'oversee' everything, essentially a lifeguard tower. One with an amazing view, some delicious snacks, and the ability to either wave and chat with all the goings about, or just to sit and have themselves a nice, quiet 'vigilance'.
 
This shift was the best, and everyone was constantly fighting for it.
 
...Which is why it sucked all the more when an unscheduled train arrived, and he actually had to put down his mug of coco, and go do his job.
 
It was an unfortunate choice when he tried to get one last sip in before going down, because what stepped off the train caused one comical spit-take he would be cleaning up the rest of the day.
 
His Majesty.
Her Majesty.
The Queen of the Changelings.
The sole reason any paperwork got done.
And the 'Totally not our commanderwinkwinkwink' soldier changeling.
 
...And only about half of them were conscious.
 
At least two of them looked almost dead.
 
One of them he briefly questioned if they were dead.
 
He really had to squint to see the soldier bug breathing, at that. And all that green looking bandages said nothing for her health. She kept trying to stay awake, but it just wasn't sticking.
 
He didn't have words as he watched Her Highness shakily walk by, supported by Eighteen the whole way, while she walked next to the three stretchers that were wheeled off the train. He could do nothing but gawk openly as they past him by, and headed towards the castle. They were slow, covered in some kind of strange, unnatural looking grey ash.
 
It didn't smell like ash, nothing seemed to be burned, but it was positively everywhere. As he watched them go, carried off to their homes, he had so many, many burning questions.
 
But he would not get them from the royal family, not yet.
 
For they were wheeled beyond him, and back to their home. They were placed in their living room briefly as the maids and nurses and doctors rushed off to prepare beds for them, already calling out to the others of their kingdoms rulers current state. It was pure chaos all around, yet the living room itself was pure serenity, the entire staff doing their best not to agitate them in their time of slumber.
 
Well, all except for one.
 
She didn't know why everyone was running.
 
Nobody told her what was happening.
 
But that was okay, this particular soul wasn't interested in what they were doing.
 
Nope, when she walked into that living room and spun around to slam the door without looking inside, she only had one thing on her mind.
 
She wanted to rant.
 
>YOU GUYS ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE TODAY! IT'S BEEN THE WORST!
 
The poor, poor souls who had been hiding away in peaceful unconsciousness found themselves torn away most uncaringly by her screeches.
 
>Okay, so, it starts out all cool, with me goin' ta' school and then we got ta' do number countin' and Ah'm good at number countin', but then we get a math pop quiz!? Who does that!? Why ya' gotta mess up a good thing with a test!? We didn't ask for that! Nobody did! It's a flaw in tha' system!
 
She tossed her little Thuntainia backpack on the couch, landing next to the careless 'not-mom' who had purchased the thing that made Shiny see red quite successfully, and continued to stomp around, and towards her little snack box. She still had not looked to them.
 
>So, okay, that was bad, but then it got REALLY bad during lunchtime! Yer' not gonna believe this, a ferret got in mah' backpack! THERE WAS A FERRET IN THERE, SHINY! AND HE ATE ALL MAH MACHMALLEYS! I didn't have no lunches and then I had ta' just sit there! And teacher's like 'Don't you eat love or something' and Ah' said YES! IT'S CALLED MARCHMALLEYS! WHEN PONIES SAY LOVE THEY MEAN MARCHMALLEYS! But I didn't have none cause a FERRET ate 'em! WHO BROUGHT A FERRET TA' THE CASTLE!? AND WHY DIDN'T AH' GET TA' PLAY WITH HIM! He was all fat! He didn't wanna play at all! He just slept in mah 'backpack! WHY WAS HE HERE!?
 
Mentally, Eighteen reminded herself to reprimand Shatterhoof.
 
>So THEN after that they're like "We gotta remodel the playground so recess is indoors ta'day", and Ah'm like YA CAN'T HAVE RECESS INDOORS, YOU CRAZY LADY! THEN IT AIN'T RECESS! IT'S JUST SCHOOL! And she said it would be just as fun inside, and Ah'm like BUBBLES! YOU ARE BLOWIN' BUBBLES IN MAH FACE, LADY! Do Ah' look like I give a pop!?... Then I had ta' sit in the corner! It ain't a swear! You tell me pop is a swear! THAT LADIES JUST CRAZY!
 
She groaned theatrically, flopping back with a juicebox in her hooves.
 
>And then Glimmerglam said Ah' took all the red crayons and Ah' was like NU UH cause I only had green ones but she said I used my magic to change them and I'm like AH' CAN'T DO THAT but teacher didn't believe me so Chipper had ta' come up and say he saw Ah' didn't do that and GLIMMERGLAM AIN'T COMMIN' FER COOKIES CAUSE SHE'S A JERK! But I'm not allowed ta' call her a jerk cause Ah'll get in trouble even though she totally is and lied and she didn't get in trouble but I would and UGGGHHGHGHGHGHHGHGGGGGHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHH!
 
After that long, comically drawn out flopping like beached fish, she eventually calmed down.
 
>Ta'day is the worst day, ya' don't even know. Ah' hate ta'day. First thing Ah'm doin' when Ah'm princess, declaring ta'day worst day and makin' it a holiday with no school and nothin' but good stuff, so it won't be worst day no more.
 
She heaved on the floor, still staring up at the ceiling while sipping on her juicebox.
 
>...WAIT A MINUTE!
 
She suddenly shot to her hooves, face pointed directly in the direction of her room.
 
>MY FUZZY FLOPPER FACES BOOK COMES TODAY! EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOMMMEEE!
 
She tore off right out the door, past a bewildered and gobsmacked guard, and towards her room where her package no doubted awaited her.
 
A quick, stern look stopped the question the guard was about to ask the retreating kindergartener dead. She'd figure it out soon enough, let her enjoy her book, they thought.
 
For a moment, there was nothing but still, empty silence once more.
 
SLAM!
 
"YOU GUYS ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE IT! TODAY HAS BEEN THE MOST AMAZING...A... Amazing... ama..."
 
Slowly, Poindexter's eyes trailed around the room.
 
"...Bad time?"
 
He was very, very lucky nobody had enough magic to shoot him.
 
Otherwise? That nerd would've been dead.
 
>IT CAAAMMMMEE!
 
...Or not.
 
Wouldn't want to ruin Two's day, after all.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Actarius
"???"
'JJ'
~~~~~~
 
>GRRRRNNNN!
 
'Come on, push!'
 
>HRRK!
 
'You're barely making any progress here, it's not that hard to get into.'
 
>NNNGGGHHH!
 
'Finally! I think you're starting to sink in-... dang it.'
 
>Sorry.
 
'No, no, it's fine.'
 
>It's not fine...
 
'Happens to every stallion, I'm sure.'
 
>Seems to happen to me a lot more.
 
'Meh. You have other good features.'
 
>...
 
'Look, just... let me take over, my legs don't hurt.'
 
>Okay...
 
'Really, I mean... you should probably have let me dig anyway, you look pretty drained.
 
>Yeah, guess I am a little bit.
 
They had been digging for hours now. How many had they freed from the dust? No idea. How long should they have worked? Probably a lot less time. A talented flier, Jugglejack was not. A professional lander, less so.
 
'Sorry.'
 
>Hey, my fault for riding you so hard.
 
'Now, be fair, I thought that was amazing, you on my back was-'
 
"ATTEN HUT, SOLDIER!"
 
Actarius suddenly went rigid, snapping into a terrified royal stance and saluting.
 
He also looked like he had just seen someone walking by with his name branded on the side of a large bat with spikes on it.
 
>JJ... if you have ever cared for me in any fashion... kiiiilll meeeee...
 
'...Come again?'
 
He turned back, to where that voice had come from.
 
'...Who's she?'
 
The older mare in old, weathered guard attire stomped up to the changeling, and poked him none too gently.
 
"YOU! Didn't you hear me!? I said attention!"
 
'I'm drone class, that declaration is meaningless to me.
 
>J-just do it, JJ, she is not a sane mare.
 
"WHAT WAS THAT!?"
 
>N-NOTHING MOM-OW!
 
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, SOLDIER!?"
 
>I SAID NOTHING, COMMANDER!
 
'...Did you say mom?'
 
>NO I DID NOT! I SAID COMMANDER!
 
'Like... officially?'
 
"SOLDIER'S DON'T RETIRE, INSECT! WE JUST LIE IN WAIT!"
 
'...Hi, by the way, I'm Jugglejack, me and your son are friends, we've been for a while now-'
 
"And just what are you doing out here, soldier!?"
 
'Yep. Gonna be like that. Okay.'
 
>D-DIGGING UP SURVIVORS, COMMANDER! SERVING EQUESTRIA!
 
"NO! I meant, what are you, in particular, doing over here!? The guard are stationed to that area! This one is for the bug monsters!"
 
'HEY!'
 
>Right, but, well... you know, I've been... not over with them for a while now-OW!
 
"Did you or did you not return to action, soldier!?"
 
>Well, I mean, yeah but-OW!
 
"Then why are you not with your group!?"
 
>I'm with the group I fought with! I'm not a soldier anymore, I didn't fight with THEM!
 
"..."
 
'...Wow, um... gonna...'
 
Awkwardly, he slid back. Away from the glaring, spiteful looking older mare.
 
'Goooonnna slide back here...'
 
>...Mom? You okay?
 
"Idiot."
 
He sagged a bit, crestfallen.
 
"If you had asked to help out during the fight with the others, you could have gotten back into active service and likely had your resignation expunged. What was the princess going to do? Deny you except in a crisis? You know she's not like that. She would have rewarded you with your job back."
 
>Well... I didn't... I was with them, not the soldiers.
 
"...Fine. Good. You quit anyway. They don't need quitters in the Guard."
 
>Aw, come on, mom, don't be like that, I still fought to defend Equestria, I just didn't-
 
She spun on her heels in perfect lock-step, turning her back to him.
 
>Mom, come on.
 
"I have work to do with my unit, you continue doing what you can digging with the bug monsters."
 
>...Least they didn't kick me out.
 
"Then they have lower standards than I do. HUT!"
 
Even after all this time, he still started to move like he was going to walk in step with her.
 
But, of course, he didn't.
 
Not even when she passed by Jugglejack, and gave him one hell of a glare. He seemed mostly unbothered.
 
'...What? Want to watch me juggle? I can juggle, I'm pretty good, it's my thing even.'
 
She just scoffed, and rolled her eyes before continuing on.
 
"A bug monster? Really?"
 
'Can still hear you!'
 
"Good."
 
None too soon, she was gone.
 
'...Your mom seems nice.'
 
He just groaned, and mashed his hooves into his face.
 
>She was like that my WHOLE LIFE.
 
'I've seen worse.'
 
>HOW!?
 
'You ever seen a changeling turned into a living bomb?'
 
>...Point taken. Though I find this unfair, since Queen's don't really see themselves as moms.
 
'Got me there?'
 
>...Let's just... let's just keep digging.
 
'...You okay?'
 
>Yeah... fine, just fine.
 
At last, in their digging, they hit the bottom, and found grass.
 
Scorched, burned grass, in what had once been a garden. Among it, scorched, burned remains of items. Mostly items that belonged to the changelings.
 
...But not all of them.
 
>Just fine...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>56
“Nurse”
~~~~
 
He didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Applejack.
 
He didn’t get a chance to see his not-mom get carted off to whatever hospital or facility she had to go to in order to fix her busted head….
 
No, he missed a great deal of that, of all the post-Cordyceps happenings, mostly due to the fact that he had been sitting in a chair.
 
Beside a bed.
 
Next to the recovering Princess of the Night herself, Luna.
 
For the last five or so hours.
 
Were anyone keeping track, they’d be shocked. This had to the longest stretch of time 56 had remained both still and silent since Faust knows when.
 
Still he sat, still as marble, his big, glistening eyes locked onto the gently breathing princess.
 
The urge to cry nearly claimed him an innumerable amount of times but each time, he choked it down, firmed his jaw, and wai-
 
Behind him, the door opened.
 
“Um… Applejack 56, was it?”
 
>…
 
“Right, well… the princess isn’t due to wake up for some time now and, um, visiting hours are almost up. I'm not sure if- did you know that? Probably not... but perhaps you’d like to come back tomorrow and-”
 
There was something in the way 56 glanced over his shoulder at the nurse that caused her muzzle to snap shut mid-sentence.
 
>Thanks, but… I think I’ll stay here. Is that okay?
 
Even if it wasn’t, the nurse only nodded, almost robotically.
 
“S-sure, dear, you… take your time.”
 
The door closed and 56 resumed his overwatch, pupils barely twitching as they rolled over Luna’s unconscious form, taking in every strand of hair, ever starlit twinkle in her mane, the way her nose cutely twitched every so often….
 
>…Even if I did get your hoof, I wouldn’t deserve it… would I, Moons? I couldn’t even protect ya back there- you had to do the protectin’… and then ya got infected, got tossed around and beat up….
 
That glistening turned to shimmering and his eyes burned but he didn’t dare blink, even as her dark visage became blurry.
 
>All I wanted to do w-was fly, Moons… with you. Prob’ly don’t even matter, ya prob’ly never cared… but that was important to me….
 
A whisper filled the room as those obsidian tendrils from before began wafting up through the ground around the Changeling, wiggling softly in a non-existant breeze.
 
He blinked.
 
Tears burned tracks down his cheeks.
 
A few tentacles moved to wipe them clear, which did nothing but cause more droplets to course free.
 
Even unconscious, her magic was at play for him….
 
>Darn it.
 
His face scrunched up.
 
It took more self-control than the little Changeling knew he possessed not to break down in sobs as he pushed out of the chair and slowly approached the Princess.
 
A gentle hoof trailed down the side of her head.
 
>I’mma go now… I’mma l-let ya get your rest, Moons. I know ya can’t hear me right now but hangin’ around you w-was the best time of my life. I don’t remember much about my life, actually, b-but I’ll always remember you… and I’ll always love ya, Moons.
 
Quivering lips met her unnaturally cold cheek.
 
And then he jolted in time with the electric shock that seemed to flow from his mouth.
 
>Whoa! What in the-
 
Tripping back in his haste, 56 watched as the spot where he touched her… it was glowing a silvery white, pulsing even, and drawing the tentacles around him directly into it.
 
A gust was born within the square room, one with enough strength to rustle the bedsheets and rattle the window blinds. Like moths to flame, the tentacles dove into that light, vanishing one after another until they were no more, until 56 could no longer feel their protective presence.
 
The glow faded.
 
His heart froze when her eyelids began to part, a slow, almost experimental opening…
 
>…
 
No words came to the stunned Changeling. He could do nothing when her head turned towards him, those pools of lavender shining with more adoration than he’d ever seen and her mouth jerked up in a very tired smirk.
 
‘We… we heard you, 56….’
 
Her voice was frail, heartbreakingly so.
 
“W-we-”
 
She coughed and 56 moved subconsciously, closing the gap between himself and her bed.
 
>Moons- Moons, ya gotta be quiet, just rest, okay? I’ll go get the nurse mare and-
 
Being so close, it was easy for Luna to nudge the flustered Changeling over the nose with her muzzle.
 
>…d-did… w-was that a ki-
 
‘Merely a nose boop.’
 
He wanted to argue against that as there was no way so much love could flow through something as slight as a ‘mere nose boop’.
 
But he didn’t.
 
He only smiled, falling back onto his haunches when his quivering legs gave out.
 
>I thought… I thought I almost lost you, Moons….
 
‘Laughable. It would take more than a measly spore to best us, 56. And find something to wipe your face, you look absolutely dreadful….’
 
That was probably true. 56 could feel the tears escaping, the snot leaking, his chest heaved with ragged breaths.
 
>S-sorry….
 
‘Apology unaccepted, 56. You wish to make it up to us? Then come over here.’
 
Doing as he was commanded, 56 inched closer, only to gasp when one of Luna’s wings unfolded itself, bursting free from the bandages keeping it tied down to enveloping itself around the youngling.
 
For a moment, 56 forgot his worry, forgot his troubles and the fact that he was smearing snot into Luna’s coat.
 
Her warmth was the best thing ever.
 
>I love you, Moons.
 
She didn’t respond with anything further than a grunt.
 
But the sudden pulse of love that cascaded through his chitin said more than her words ever could.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Dash
"Spitfire"
'Fleetfoot'
[Soarin']
~~~
 
She may have had to wait until they could barely move from exhaustion, but at last Dash could speak to her three remaining veteran Wonderbolts!
 
>Team! Good to see you're all oka-
 
"Fuck you."
 
It was going to go as well as she expected, she knew.
 
>...You know what? I'm writing that one off on account of stress, you've earned it.
 
"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!?"
 
>Out gathering the other Element's of Harmony so we could make a plan? Kind of important.
 
"No, you know what's important!? LEADING YOUR FUCKING TEAM! You wanted to lead us, not your little clique! This isn't the same as your little necklace club! You can't just run off in the middle of a crises! But oh, who am I to question it, apparently you just deserve this SO MUCH, I guess it was stupid to think you would actually be PRESENT FOR THE FUCKING INVASION!?"
 
>...You want to talk to me about being present for invasions? Really?
 
'OHHHHH!'
 
"FUCK YOU! You hid from the Changelings too!"
 
'I didn't hide, I just was never given orders to engage.'
 
[C-can we stop yelling? My head hurts.]
 
>You okay?
 
'Numbnuts got turned into a plant and got drained like everyone else.'
 
>...And you let him help with the excavation?
 
[More like... insisted...]
 
>...
 
'Hey, we need to put on a good show here, our rep is in the toilet, so one of our guys powering though being drained is GREAT for the press, I'll have you know! Once people here Spits was tearing the place up with the royals, we'll be Wonderbolts again!'
 
[...Were we not?]
 
"Sure doesn't feel like it. Felt like we're just a bunch of volunteer fireponies who's chief runs off in the middle of an inferno."
 
>Well, regardless of what happened while I wasn't around, the temporary leadership has passed! I'm back, and we're going to fall back in line, and-
 
"I quit."
 
Everyone, absolutely everyone, froze.
 
>...Huh, heard you wrong, sounded like you said-
 
She tore away what battered remains of her wonderbolt outfit still managed to cling to her, and tossed it right in the blue pegasi's face.
 
"I. Quit."
 
[S-SPITS! You don't mean that!]
 
'Yeah, that's crazy! Look, you're just freaked out right now, you just need to calm down and-'
 
"I... Quit. I'm done."
 
Dash just stared at her through the one uncovered eye, mouth openly hanging low to the floor.
 
"Good luck with your career, Rainbow Dash... hope it goes better than mine did."
 
With a single burst of yellow wings, she was up in the air, and tearing away faster than any of them could have followed.
 
'SPITFIRE! COME BACK!... You can't just...'
 
[...Wow... did that all happen, or am I still delirious?]
 
Neither of the others answered him.
 
Or caught him when he fell face first and collapsed, either.
 
>...I hate this job...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
The world was a haze of images blinking in and out of Pommel's mind, a parade of half-formed throughts and memories as his brain tried to put itself in order. He saw the failed robot assault on Canterlot, he saw his last fishing trip with his father before he joined the guard, he saw the fist of the cave troll coming down on his back, he saw the comforting confines of the antique guard helmet his uncle let him wear duing his colthood visits.
 
As awareness slowly came back to him, he recognized a slow rocking back and forth. His ears were full of the lapping of waves against woode and shouts of orders being given. His eyes fluttered open as he attempted to gain his bearings, finding himself in the familiar confines of Doc's medical cabin, instruments and books srewn about in a controlled chaos that only their owner knew the meaning of. He was aware of a dull throbbing in his head, a lingering ache in his ribs, and there were bandages wrapped around his shoulders and covering an eye.
 
Of course, most distressingly, he found himself once again inside a hammock.
 
He let out a sigh, "We meet again, you son of a...okay...you can do this...just a little to the left, a little to the right aaaand..."
 
FWUMP!
 
"Nnnnngh!" His teeth clenched together as he landed on the floor in a heap, hissing in pain through them as he got up, once again thankful no one had seen his faux pas.
 
"Probably would have done you well to wait for help," The gruff voice from the doorway to the cabin noted, making him look up.
 
"Doc-nngh-what...what happened?" Pommel asked, wincing.
 
"I suppose everything went according to your little plan, boy," Doc stepped over to inspect the unicorn's body, "We fired on the tower and next thing we knew, the place exploded like the devil's commode, black shite going up so far into the sky we half thought Daw wouldn't be able to-"
 
"Daw?" Pommel's eyes went wide, "What'd she do!?"
 
"She took off after you, you lummox," Doc growled, "And if you would just listen to me, you'd know that that girl only went and flew up to that spout of pure evil herself to drag your carcass back onto the ship!"
 
Pommel's jaw dropped, he looked down to the floor, "Damn...well..."
 
"Go up there and thank her, you dimbulb," Doc rolled his eyes, "You'll be fine as long as you don't manage to throw yourself over the side."
 
"Right, yeah," Pommel scratched the back of his head, brushing against the bandage that covered his eye, "Oh shit, hey, uh is this thing..."
 
"You've still got your eye," Doc waved it off, "Though you're damn sure not going to reach me when it comes to looks anymore."
 
"Gee, thanks," Pommel rolled his eyes and set off for the main deck as the earth pony laughed behind him. He slowly climbed the stairs, taking care to keep his balance as he went. He stepped onto the deck in a haze, his eyes squinting as they adjusted to the sunlight, before a body bumped into him and he was sent stumbling back towards the edge of the deck.
 
"Shi-!" Escaped his lips before a hand grabbed him by the mane and tugged him back. He shook his head and looked up at his rescuer, a large scruffy diamond dog in a tattered tricorner hat.
 
"Ah...thanks, Barksby," Pommel nodded in appreciation, getting a hissing snicker in response before the dog set him down and put him on his way.
 
Pommel looked to his sides as he kept walking towards the upper deck. Pirates on all sides looking towads him with a differing looks of incredulity, relief, and reverence. He climbed up the stairs to the helmsman's wheel, but found no Daw, instead-
 
"Lad!" The blur of movement barely had time to match up with the shout in Pommel's head before he found himself wrapped up in a hug that threatened to reaggravate his injuries. The unicorn administering said hug wasn't worried about that, though, as he only held it tighter before releasing him.
 
"Nngh...nice to see you too, Rat," Pommel managed between winces and pants.
 
"I knew ya'd wake up, lad!" Rat grinned wide, "Some of these superstitious clods figured you'd might as well have been fish food, but I knew you'd make it through!"
 
"Thanks, Rat, but, I came up here to-" Pommel began but found himself cut off.
 
"Ahaha! You're comin' in loud and clear, lad!" Rat smirked, "Ya see, you're up here lookin' for First Mate Jacqueline Daw, but see she ain't first mate anymore, that's me."
 
"So she's-"
 
"Captain, exactly," Rat nodded.
 
"So I need to go-"
 
"To her cabin," Rat interuppted again, "So what're ya waiting for, scoot! Scoot! I can keep us on course!"
 
Pommel let out a small chuckle as he shook his head, slowly managing to traverse his way down to the deck and towards the Captain's Cabin. Steeling himself, he opened the doors...
 
Daw sat at the same great table Evergreen once did, overlooking a map of the Marebbean. She looked up with a slight tinge of annoyance when Pommel entered, then quickly looked back down to the sea chart.
 
"Yer alive," She stated stoically as he stepped closer, sitting down at the table across from her, "That's good."
 
"Yeah," Pommel replied, "I'd be inclined to agree."
 
A heavy awkwardness hung in the air between them, neither seeming to want to look at the other.
 
"I'm sorry...y'know, about Evergreen," Pommel offered.
 
Daw sighed, "He was a good man, th' closest thing to a father I ever knew...but we lost a lot more than him."
 
The pegasus mare stood, shaking her head.
 
"Tide, Keel, Reel, Cutlass, Grapeshot, Tradewind, and plenty others," Daw walked around the table, looking for the first time in Pommel's memory as though there was a weight on her shoulders, a heavy one that she carried as best she could, "They weren't the first, doubt they'll be th' last. It's a savage world, outside of Equestria, I've lost so many people I cared about to this bastard sea and all th' shite that dwells on or in it..."
 
She came to a stop next to Pommel, her eyes boring into his with a cold intensity.
 
"So how about next time you come up with a STUPID PLAN LIKE THAT-" She lunged at him, his eyes went wide as...
 
As she wrapped her forelegs around his shoulder and embraced him, her voice falling to a low whisper.
 
"How about you make it easier for me to save your ass? Deal?"
 
Pommel opened his mouth to speak but the words failed to come as easily as he wanted them to, he only moved to return the hug and exhaled.
 
"Deal."
 
The pegasus squeezed him tightly before slipping back, looking the guard in the eye.
 
"We're due to arrive in Puerto Caballo in a few days if th' charts are right," She looked back to the sea charts, "Try to help out where ya can, but take it easy, hopefully by the team we get there you'll be healed up."
 
"Aye aye, captain," Pommel smiled at her, getting a glare of mock annoyance in response.
 
"Get out of here before I bite your ears again," She smirked.
 
"Aye aye-" Pommel had to duck a thrown ledger on the way out.
 
The days passed quickly from there, a routine of helping to keep the ship running smoothly alongside Rat, receiving examinations from Doc, and eating in the captain's cabin with the latter two and Daw. Night found him returning to the hammock while morning had him become acquainted once more with the floor. The normalcy was almost surreal after the frantic chase the last few days had been, particularly with the same pirates he'd been battling through most of it now serving alonside himself and the rest of the Regret's crew.
 
"Feh, Pirates," Rat had replied over dinner, "We'll jump to most any ships if it means we'll live to plunder another day."
 
"True, I guess," Pommel shrugged, taking a cup of grog from the table and sipping, "Though speaking of plunder, we manage to get any from that damn place between the fighting, running, and explosions?"
 
"Ha! Never underestimate a pirate's ingenuity, lad," Rat grinned, "Even in the midst of a duel I could find away to pocket some loot."
 
"By which he means he was yanking golden chunks into our ship while we were trying not to smash into something as the city sank," Doc growled, "Not that I'm compaining, we'll be living like kings unless calamity strikes."
 
"Kings? Ha! We'll have far less responsibilities than kings!" Rat retorted, "After we resupply at Puerto Caballo we'll be one step closer to that life of leisure you're after, old man!"
 
"Sounds like you have it all planned out," Pommel smiled at the other two stallions, sparing a glance towards Daw.
 
"Aye, and...well, y'know, room for one more, lad," Rat nodded to him, "Folks back where you are think you're dead, right? Wouldn't be no shame in retiring to the sea after what's happened to ya."
 
Pommel shook his head, but it was Daw who spoke.
 
"The lad's whole quest has been to find his way home, we ain't going to play th' sirens and lead him astray, got me?" She said severely, glaring at the unicorn.
 
"Easy now, Jackie, just saying, the lad's got nothin' to prove, we certainly wouldn't think less of him," Rat shrugged.
 
"Thanks for the offer, but it wouldn't sit right with me to just leave the guys back home thinking I've kicked the bucket. Besides," Pommel grinned, "I'm just not the type to lay on a beach all day."
 
"Heh, so ya say, lad," Rat reclined in his chair, "I'll not argue with ya further, just know that should ya ever need us, never hesitate to ask."
 
"Aye, we'll only be halfway to the other side of the world," Doc added sardonically.
 
"I'll keep it in mind," Pommel snickered.
 
"We'll arrive at th' port tomorrow morning," Daw said, all business, "I want everyone ready to pick up supplies and get ready to sail."
 
The three stallions looked at each other, a hush falling over them as the dinner finished quietly, Doc and Rat walking out after draining their drinks. Pommel made to join them but stopped, looking back to the mare.
 
"What is it?" She asked after catching his gaze in the midst of pushing away the mugs.
 
"Is there a problem? Between you and me I mean?" Pommel made to move closer, but faltered under the new captain's glare.
 
"I...I don't know what to do," She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth, "This ain't what I was made fer, I know that fer a damned fact. I was never supposed to be a cap'n, but now...now it seems I'm stuck with th' task."
 
Pommel grimaced, looking around, "Y'know...you don't have to be."
 
"Th' hell's that supposed to mean?" Daw arched an eyebrow at him, "What, I just give the reigns over to Rat?"
 
"Well in a way..." Pommel began, ignoring Daw's scoff, "Leave the ship to him...and come with me."
 
"With you? To Equestria?" Daw looked at him apprehensively, "Th' place where I'm more'n likely a wanted criminal?"
 
"Hey, trust me, Equestria is awful forgiving of that kind of thing," Pommel shrugged.
 
"Feh, it's not a place I'm keen to visit, lad, from the way you tell it I'd be a caged bird," She grinned, "Forgivin' or not, I think I'd have eyes on me."
 
"Tell you what," Pommel looked at her, "It's a long way to Canterlot, I'd wager, you come with me and if we find somewhere you think you'd like better on the way, we part ways."
 
Daw looked back at the cabin, grimacing, "Let me...let me think about it, alright? S'not exactly an easy decision, aye?"
 
"Sure, just remember it's kind of a limited time offer," Pommel gave her a grin, "For what it's worth, I'd sleep easier knowing you had my back."
 
His piece said, he exited the cabin, going to spend another night dreading falling out of that damned hammock.
 
----
 
"So...Puerto Caballo," Pommel said as he looked out over the city, all simplistic stone architecture across a seaside expanse, "...y'know after a shanty town in and on top of a hollow turtle-"
 
"Tortoise," Rat corrected him.
 
"...tortoise shell, and a literal city made out of gold? Kind of a let down."
 
"Can't all be marvels of engineering, boy," Doc grunted, observing the town, "But I think you'll find there are charms aplenty here, between the actually bearable alcohol, the local cuisine, and oh those lovely young mares with their starry eyes and flowing manes. Delightful."
 
"Old pervert," Rat rolled his eyes.
 
"I prefer hopeless romantic, thank you. But who needs romance anyway when you're filthy stinking rich?" Doc chuckled.
 
"Heave to, lads!" Daw's order came from beside the helmsman, "Keep her steady as we dock! I want a full ration of supplies by th' time we pull out, and if I hear any of ya scum-sucking layabouts got in a fight, I damn well better hear ya won it, understand?!"
 
"Aye, cap'n!" Came the chorus from below as the crew set to work, Pommel staying at the front of the ship, gazing at his point of departure. He'd moved to ask her if she'd come to a decision in the night, but she'd kept on ordering the crew about, leaving him to converse with Doc and Rat.
 
The morning saw his bandages finally come off and while he definitely was no longer in the running for Mr. Equestria, the scars over his eye, along his side and across his right shoulder weren't bad enough for him to call a lovelife a lost cause. As Rat had eloquently put it 'Mares dig scars around these parts!'
 
"So," Came a voice from behind him, snapping him out of his reverie and heralding Shoals' arrival by his side, "...that was a crazy couple of days, no?"
 
"Yeah, it was," Pommel agreed, "I'm just glad they're over."
 
"Aye, and I'm glad you're getting the holy hell off this boat," Shoals said flatly, "Don't get me wrong, you're nice and all, but you are trouble with a capital T. I'd much rather be hunting oversized eels and yanking a dubloon or two from a fat gryphon merchant's purse, savvy?"
 
"I savvy," Pommel deadpanned, "Is that all you wanted to tell me or...?"
 
"Hm, oh no, here," Shoals' horn glowed and Pommel oofed as a chunk of gold smacked into his chest, "Managed to help Rat snag a few as we escaped the city, figured trouble or no, this should get you some provisions to go be bad luck somewhere else."
 
"Stop throwing luck and fate around, I'm not special, end of story," Pommel replied just as flatly as Shoals' had moments ago.
 
"Keep telling yourself that, but word to the wise? Buy a rabbit's foot, a four leaf clover, something to offput all the hooplah about ya!" Shoals trotted off before Pommel could retort, leaving the guardsman to fume quietly...
 
Finally the Regret came to a stop at the docks and was moored in short order. Already crewmen were filing off the ship, singing songs and shouting demands to find the nearest tavern or brothel. Pommel checked to make sure his cutlass, thankfully retrieved by Rat from the battlements, along with the rest of what he'd picked up along the way were still in his possession before looking towards Daw one final time.
 
The pegasus looked down at him from beside the ship's wheel, slowing descending the stairs to stand next to him.
 
"So...is this goodbye?" Pommel asked, looking from her to the city and back again.
 
"Might be," Daw asked, "This sea's all I've known, lad, and while I look primed to adventure wherever the winds take me, I've never crossed a threshold out of it."
 
Pommel sighed and gave a low chuckle, "Eh, guess I should've gave that more thought before I asked. Figure that night in the crow's nest would've meant a bit more."
 
"Who's to say it didn't?" Daw gave a wry smile, "I may join you out there one day, lad, in your land of princesses, robots, and space aliens."
 
"Changelings aren't aliens!" Pommel groaned in exasperation, "They just aren'-mmph!"
 
The kiss had definitely not been what he was expecting, a flush of crimson crossing his face as Daw pulled away, smirking again.
 
"Slipped ya a little tongue to remember me by," The smile never left her face, "Try to do so when you're breaking hearts all th' way back to Equestria, hey?"
 
Pommel shook his head and smiled, "I'll keep your tongue in mind, take care of yourself, Jackie."
 
"Always have, same to you, Pommy-me-lad," Daw nodded to him as he turned away...
 
And then another visitor walked up.
 
A completely silent, canine visitor.
 
"...yes, Barksby?" Pommel asked.
 
The dog in question tilted his tricorner hat-clad head expectantly.
 
"...what?"
 
Barksby nudged Pommel in the chest with a finger, then beat his own.
 
"The hell are you trying to say? Just talk!" Pommel snapped at him.
 
"Boss," The dog replied simply, "You boss, dogs follow."
 
"...oh for the love of-no! That was a one time deal!" Pommel shot back at him.
 
"You kill bull," Barskby pointed out, "That make you boss."
 
"Can't I just name someone else in charge?!" Pommel groaned.
 
"Dogs follow strongest, you strongest, dogs follow," Barksby's dead serious face and tone told Pommel there wouldn't be a lot of budging on the matter.
 
"I...wait, hey Jackie, c'mere a second," Pommel said, gesturing her over.
 
Daw, who had been watching with no shortage of amusement, cantered closer, "What is it?"
 
"Hit me," Pommel said, face and tone as serious as Barksby's.
 
"What?" Daw blinked.
 
"Just do it, alright? I need you to hit me," Pommel insisted.
 
"Alright, set yer jaw," With little ceremony the pegasus reared back and clocked him.
 
Pommel fell theatrically to the deck, holding his jaw.
 
"Alas!" He cried, "I am DEFEATED! Captain Daw is far STRONGER than I! So follow her you dumb dog!"
 
"...well you don't have to be a dick about it," Barksby grumbled and stood beside Daw, leaving Pommel to sit up incredulously.
 
"Oh sure, drop the cavepony speak when she's in charge, I see how it is," Pommel shook his head.
 
With a final look to Daw, he walked down the gangplank, onto the deck, and into Puerto Caballo.
 
----
 
Jacqueline Daw watched as Pommel's form trudged away into the town beyond, jaw set, eyes unblinking as she followed him all the way.
 
"So," Rat said, walking up next to her, "That's that then I suppose..."
 
"Aye," Daw replied, a single word, nothing more.
 
"He's a good lad," The unicorn offered, "Figure he'll be fine out there. Maybe he'll find his own ship that'll be willing to take him to Equestria."
 
"He'd be waiting a while for that," Doc replied gruffly, standing at Daw's other side, "This ain't exactly a port of call for Equestrian ships, too far along the coast from where the sea proper begins. There are far more profitable ports to dock in, and those that do are usually too shady to dock easily in more reputable places, like us."
 
"Aye..."
 
"But it's not too perilous a journey to Equestria by land," Rat pointed out, "All he need do is get together with some folks going in the same...northward direction, aye?"
 
"If those folks don't turn out to be slavers," Doc fired back, "Or just want to take his things and leave him wandering in the wilderness."
 
"You're a real ray of sunshine, Doc," Rat muttered.
 
"I'm being realistic," Doc shot back.
 
"And I'm trying to assure our captain that the lad she just slipped some tongue to isn't going to get himself killed walking five steps into this backwater," Rat glared over Daw's shoulder.
 
"There's a way for her to make sure that doesn't happen herself," Doc growled resolutely, "And honestly, if you'll pardon my brashness captain, there ain't much left for ya here...just a ship and some memories. That lad? He's key to something new for you, something beyond this sea, beyond Evergreen or Brahmos, and if he were alive, I swear to ya, the cap'n would've wanted ya to go with that him."
 
Daw remained silent, eyes still trained to where the unicorn's form had disappeared into.
 
"I...y'know what, he's right, Jackie," Rat broke in, "Ya don't have to keep going with what Evergreen was doing. There's a brand new world out there and I can see it, you wanna open those wings up and see it for yourself...so just do it, there's no need to-"
 
"Rat?" Daw cut him off, eyes never leaving that point where dock met town.
 
"...uh, aye?" Rat looked at her, uncertain whether he'd be met with rebuke or acceptance.
 
A grin slowly split Daw's face, "Punch me."
 
"Wha?"
 
"Just feckin' do it, ya twit," She smirked.
 
With some trepidation, he did. She collapsed to the ground again, looking at Barksby.
 
"Punched, defeated, yadda yadda, you're with him now!" She grinned and sprang to her hooves, giving a hug to either stallion and taking flight, in hot pursuit of the guard.
 
"...well!" Rat said happily, "Guess that puts me in charge, eh?"
 
"Faust help us all," Doc rolled his eye, "Can I get off the ship now?"
 
"Oh no you don't, First Mate Doc!" Rat grinned toothily, "You'n I have a great history ahead of us!"
 
"Oh really now? Do tell," Doc raised an eyebrow incredulously.
 
"You see my dear Doctor," Rat began, "I know somewhere in this sea there's a little island named Barkbados, formerly ruled by a right cock of a bull, now deceased. Methinks we can get together a crew, along with my newfound canine companions, to seize the island, free the slaves, and set ourselves up a little town of our own to rule over. I of course humbly accept the position of Mayor For Life!"
 
Doc gave a harsh laugh, "And just what do you intend to do with the place, Mr. Mayor?"
 
"First thing? Name change, plain and simple, wipe that rubbish name right off the maps," Rat made an officious sweeping gesture with his hoof.
 
"So what do we call it?" Barksby asked, ears low at having been swept from one master to another to another in the span of five minutes.
 
"Mmm...I like me the name 'Neighssau', any opposed?" Rat asked.
 
"I don't get it," Barksby tilted his head.
 
"...I fucking hate puns," Doc shook his head.
 
"THE AYES HAVE IT!" Rat clopped his hooves together, "...this is gonna be a right mindfuck when the boys come back from drinking. But hey, meet the new boss, eh?"
 
Pommel walked slowly, almost morosely down the narrow streets of Puerto Caballo. His hooves felt almost strange on ground not made of gold or wood, but he figured he'd get used to it in time. He'd managed to look at one of Doc's maps in the earth pony's cabin, and generally found that if he kept heading 'North' he'd have to hit Equestria at some point, just basedon geography alone. The problem he was going to have was how to get there...
 
"A boat would probably be too long a wait," He mused as he walked, "But am I really gonna trek all the way until I find a railroad station? Damn...I probably should have just took the map..."
 
He shrugged, turning back at this point would've just made things awkward.
 
"Maybe I could just get some directions from a local," Pommel muttered.
 
"Not entirely a good idea," A voice he didnt expect to hear broke in, "You're not exactly guranteed you won't get some scam artist trying to make a quick profit off sending you to wander."
 
"Daw!" Pommel looked to his side to indeed find the blue mare trotting at his side, "But I thought-"
 
"Guess that day I talked about is today, Pommy me lad," Daw shrugged, "What can I say, you make a hell of a pitch."
 
Pommel smiled a bit, "...thanks."
 
"Aw don't get all sentimental on me, lad," Daw rolled her eyes, "I think in a few minutes of walking you've already proved ya need a guiding hoof. Stick with me and we'll be on the road to Canterlot before you can say 'Road Map'."
 
The two walked on together, chatting and joking. Ahead of them lay a journey, one across treacherous terrain, uncharted territory, and through the domains of beings neither of them could have even thought to predict...
 
But hey, it couldn't possibly take that long...could it?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
"???"
{???}
~~~
 
He was around here somewhere.
 
She just knew it.
 
She didn't know how she knew it, but she knew it. He was here, somewhere, in this rubble right here. She knew it, she just knew it. She just had to dig deeper, deeper, just a little-
 
>...Found ya'!
 
Her body strained as she pulled him out, heaving with all of her much shorter bodies might. He was in there deep in the ash, but she couldn't stop, not till he was all the way up...
 
>Aw... oh no... no no no... what'd you do to yourself?
 
She choked when she saw him. He was beaten, battered and broken. He didn't so much as twitch to acknowledge her. Not even a hint of movement.
 
>You didn't...
 
She softly hugged him, hoping against hope he would move, just a bit. Just a little twitch, that's all she wanted.
 
>...Come on... come on... you know I can't do this alone, come on...
 
And she hugged.
 
And she hugged.
 
>...Come on...
 
{BZZT!}
 
She couldn't have felt lighter if you had injected her veins with helium.
 
{T-T-TEEEE*BBZZZT*EEEeeeeeEEEeeeennn!}
 
>BBB!
 
She happily lifted up his barely-connected-to-his-shoulders head, looking right into his dimly glowing optics.
 
>HAH! Knew you'd make it through that! Ain't no collapsing mushroom gonna take out the best camerapony in the whole world!
 
{T-T-T*ZZZZBbbbZZZ*EEEN!}
 
>Yep, Ah'm all better BBB! Clean bill o' health, even if I keep seein' a spot off to the side that... just keeps moving... BBB? Are those yer' guns?
 
{...BZZT! ERROR! ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE!}
 
>BBB!
 
{PRIMARY PROCESSING SYSTEM ERROR! INVALID COMMAND!}
 
>B! B! B! DID YOU USE YOUR GUNS AND SAWS!?
 
{....}
 
>...WELL!?
 
{...Affirmative...}
 
>Ahhhh... ah, dang it, BBB! You know you shouldn'a-
 
{R-r-return... Ten...}
 
Any irritation or anger melted like ice cream on the surface of the sun.
 
>BBB...
 
{...R-return...}
 
>You can't just... I know it's hard sometimes, but we're reporters! We aren't fighters! We're not s'posed to be the guys out there shootin' with anything but our cameras. We tell it like it is, we don't make it like we want it to be with guns.
 
{...R-return...}
 
>Ahhhh... shoot, come on BBB, I told you not to... You were supposed to get the scoop!
 
{AFFIRMATIVE!}
 
>...say what now?
 
{SCOOP OBTAINED!}
 
His eyes went fuzzy for a bit before flickering, allowing Ten to see a tiny, tiny monitor in his eyes.
 
And three very, very distinct tiny shapes in them.
 
>...Izzat... NO WAY!
 
{AFFIRMATIVE!}
 
>HOLY TOLIDOES, BBB! You got what was going on IN the mushroom!? That's gonna be huge! That's... but awww, we didn't get any of Chitania running aroun-...Do you hear something?
 
{...AFFIRMATIVE! Auditory sensors detect sound!}
 
>Huh... where's it...
 
"....oooooo...."
 
>...What in the-
 
"ooooooOOOOOOOOSSSSS!"
 
>HOLY GUACAMOLE!
 
That was all she could get out before a tiny tan blur with a patch of brown crashed right into her.
 
"BOSSBOSSBOSSBOSSBOSS!"
 
>...FEATHERWEIGHT!?
 
Sure enough, the colt was bouncing up and down in front of her, proudly holding up his camera.
 
His once pristine, very expensive camera she had payed a LOT of bits to get him, but was now scuffed, scratched, dinged and chipped.
 
"I GOT IT!"
 
And right now, she did not give one little care.
 
>...Got what?
 
"BOSS! BOSS! I GOT IT!"
 
>Got what!?
 
"EVERYTHING!"
 
>...No, no Featherweight, we've been over this, you can't just get everything you come across all the time, you run out of film really quick.
 
"No! Not that! I MEANT I GOT ALL OF THAT!"
 
>...All ooofff...
 
"EVERYTHING!"
 
>Worryin' me, buddy.
 
"BOSS! BOSS! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE YOU PROUD! Everyone else was like "No, we won't hire you, you're too young, you'll mess up, you don't have references, you're too short", but you were all "I'm giving you a chance!" AND I DID IT, BOSS! I DID IT! I TOLD YOU I WOULD!"
 
>Would what!?
 
"GET! EVERYTHING!"
 
>WHAT IS EVERYTHING!?
 
He grabbed hold of her head and drew her in nice and close.
 
"...Eeeeverything..."
 
>...You mean....
 
"From the minute she touched down right till she chucked princess Applejack into the sky. The whole fight with the dragon. Her diving and catching the princess. EVERYTHING. I HAVE A WHOLE FIGHT OF CHITANIA GETTING THE BUGJUICE KICKED OUT OF HER AND BREATHING FIRE DOWN A DRAGONS THROAT!"
 
>...No... way...
 
"EEEVVVVERRRRYYYTTTHIIIIINNNNG!"
 
Very, very slowly, she reached out and patted him on the head.
 
>Knew you could do it.
 
He had never smiled so much in his whole life.
 
>Whelp! What're we waiting for!?
 
She was strained as she helped BBB to his hooves, uncaring to the several plates of metal that fell away and exposed far more of his interior than was probably good.
 
>We need ta' get processin! Publishin! The species of Equestria want to know how this whole mess got stopped, and we're gonna show 'em! Brush off your dead plant dust, guys! We've got work to do! And we're doing it...
 
She smiled softly as she looked up at the far taller machine, tapping him easily on the cheek.
 
>We're doing it together... Alright guys, MOVE OU-
 
~IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS!?~
 
>...Featherweight?
 
"Uh... yeah?"
 
>Quick question...
 
~THAT BETTER NOT BE WHAT I THINK IT IS!~
 
"Uh..."
 
>Can you publish stuff from jail, and addendum to that, do they let you take robots into jail with you?
 
"....no and no?"
 
>Ah... unfortunate...
 
~IT IS!~
 
"...does this have anything to do with why Princess Twilight Sparkle is stomping towards us... while looking at Bluebloodbot?... Who I am noticing has a glowing thing in his chest..."
 
~MY PROTOTYPE LOVE CORE! THAT'S WHERE IT WENT!?~
 
>...I can neither confirm or deny this... but on an unrelated note, get this published, and the start looking for a good lawyer... or a getaway rocket, either or.
 
"..."
 
~ARE YOU INSANE!? IS THAT JUST JAMMED IN THERE!? WE ALL COULD HAVE DIED!~
 
>...I meant now...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Rarity
"Pinkie"
'???'
[Guards]
~~~
 
Celestia's sun had lowered, now hanging just barely in the sky. Soon, very soon, the moon would take it's place.
 
And everyone felt, at this moment, every bit as heavy as the moon.
 
>Oh, this is taking so dreadfully long.
 
"...Uh, Rars? Don't think we can just call it quits here, kind of need to get everyone out."
 
>I know, darling, I'm just worried, because-
 
[THAT'S IT!]
 
Rarity jolted, shaking her head at the elated words as a guard hefted a pony up out of the rubble.
 
Everyone let out a happy mumble, and started to walk away.
 
>WAIT! Where are you going!?
 
Confused, a guard cast a look back to her, still walking away.
 
[Home?]
 
>But... what about everyone else?
 
[Nobody else.]
 
"...You're sure?"
 
Confidently, he nodded.
 
[Yep, Unicorns did a sweep fifteen times over, nobody else is reported missing and every area around where the mushroom cap fell as been cleared down to the bottom, we're all clear.]
 
>Oh... good job, everyone?
 
He just grunted, and continued on his way.
 
>...
 
"Feels a little anticlimactic, doesn't it?"
 
>I suppose. I feel like there should be some kind of speech, a declaration we're alive, something inspiring.
 
"Well... a couple are still here, you could still do something."
 
After pondering it for a moment, the fashionista came to a fast conclusion.
 
>...I have nothing to say.
 
"Yeah, me either."
 
>Don't you at least want to throw them all a party?
 
"Rar... look around..."
 
She did so, seeing all of the ash covered, tired, barely functioning faces, and she understood.
 
"Let's just..."
 
A pink and grey hoof slung over the new princesses shoulders.
 
"Let's just be happy we're alive, okay?"
 
>I suppose... that's really all we can ask for.
 
As the sun settled and darkened the ash covered streets, a strange cool air settled over it all. It felt almost... cold and weak. The whole city felt tired.
 
"...Hey, look on the bright side."
 
>Oh? What's that?
 
"I'd say about twenty feet that way."
 
>...What-
 
A sudden warmth passed the pair by, before that very same heat landed in front of them.
 
'HIYA MISSES PRINCESS! AND MISSES PINKIE! They said we're all set, right!? No more digging?'
 
The alicorn squinted, eyes figuratively burning as she looked at the fellow who was, quite literally, burning.
 
"Yeppers, Fifty Five! We're all set over here!"
 
'NEAT! Okay, well, I've gotta get home and make sure everyone's okay, maybe my fires still burning!'
 
>I'm... sure. Are you okay to fly?
 
'Yep! Got my gascan right here!'
 
>Not what I meant, but... I suppose it doesn't matter. Have a safe flight.
 
'You too!'
 
He shot up into the sky like a firework, and disappeared into the night.
 
>... Me too?
 
"Told you there was a bright side."
 
>Oh, and what's that?
 
"Pfft, isn't it obvious, Rar?"
 
With a somewhat light bounce, the party pony lead her away.
 
"Everyone gets to go home."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________