_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Actarius
"JJ"
'Various'
[55]
~~~~
 
>OW!
 
*WHAM!*
 
>OW!
 
*WHAM!*
 
>OWOWOW!
 
*WHAMWHAMWHAM!*
 
'Equestria's finest everyone.'
 
"HE ONLY GOT GRABBED BECAUSE HE PUSHED YOU OUT OF THE WAY!"
 
'I'm not taking that from a bug monster.'
 
"WHOA!"
 
'Well, you are.'
 
'He's got a point.'
 
"WE'RE FOLLOWING A LITERAL DEMON AROUND! I THINK!"
 
'Yeah, but at least he's not a bug monster.'
 
'Gotta have standards.'
 
'Besides, look how helpful he is.'
 
[HA HAAA! CONTINUE HOLDING THAT ONE OFF, CITIZEN! I'LL BE DONE WITH THESE TWELVE AS SOON AS THEY STOP RESPAWNING! WHICH THEY ARE DOING!... A LOT! But no rush! You hold that one off as long as you can!]
 
>OWOWOWOWOWOW!
 
[GOOD JOB! You're doing way better than me!]
 
'Encouraging too.'
 
'What are you doing?'
 
"I just juggle! THAT'S ALL I DO!"
 
'Unhelpful.'
 
"I DON'T SEE YOU DOING ANYTHING!"
 
'Eeesh, no need to get defensive.'
 
'Always these sorts, isn't it?'
 
"...Oh sweet hivemind you're all from Canterlot, aren't you?"
 
'ACK!'
 
'HOW DID YOU KNOW!?'
 
'GET OUT OF MY BRAAAAAIIINNNNN!'
 
"...Damn..."
 
>OWOWOWOWOW!
 
[AH HAH! I HAVE YOU NOW- oh, wait, it just exploded and now there are hundreds of children coming out... hey, citizen? You got that one?]
 
>OWOOWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
 
[Good to hear, be with you in a sec!... A plus work, by the way!]
 
>OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
 
[Gold star.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
~~~
 
'KA-BLAM!'
 
MAGICSHOT!
 
'YOU JUST GOT A TASTE OF THE TRIX RABBIT!'
 
>...
 
'...What?'
 
>Just... just read this.
 
'...A-hem.... Foul concoctions from mind so strange, damned things from the depths of a circus themed hell, infernal creations forged of the magic of trickery! To thee, I cast to the darkness, to thee, I send to mine tempest of flame, to thee, I cast the sword forged of magic! UNTO YOU I RENDER YOUR OWN SOUL! BEGONE, CHAOTIC THING!'
 
MAGICBLAST!
 
"...Wow."
 
[That was pretty cool.]
 
>...So creepy that you talk like this.
 
[What, you don't like me now?]
 
>Many a time I wished you harm as you swindled my every dime, but I assure you those days are past. It is just this speech of yours is not what unto you is so unique, and I wish the spell to change had never been cast. I like you better the old way, it is a fact. Your words may have been stretched, but they were a class act.
 
[...]
 
"...Awwww..."
 
'HEY! EVERYONE RESUME PAYING ATTENTION TO TRIXIE! She is clearly the center of everything! DON'T GET BLIX, YOU GONNA GET THE TRIX!'
 
BLAM!
 
>...
 
'...Write some more.'
 
>MM, a pen?... Now where am I going to get some paper... AH!
 
"HEY!"
 
>What?
 
"PUT MY CUTIE MARK BACK!"
 
>...Whoops.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Chrysalis
"???"
'18'
[42]
~~~
 
She was probably going to blame this wall exploding into green flames on the chaos, she realized.
 
Fuck if she was paying for it.
 
>Like a BURNING! Cutting for the very first time~!
 
'That one's not even a song about destroying stuff! That's a song about sex!'
 
>...What's the difference? You best BELIEVE I wrecked that room we were staying in.
 
[MAJESTY!]
 
"You liar, you knocked over, like, one lamp. We didn't even have to change the pillows."
 
Drolly, she turned to the side, where a hint of smoke and burnt hair wafted from.
 
>Celly, glad you're okay.
 
"You doubted me?"
 
>You versus chaos magic never went well before.
 
"And did it ever for you?"
 
>Nope. So, were you worried for me?
 
"...Nope."
 
She let out a long, dark cackle.
 
>HAH! Ohh, Celly, you're great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
 
"Well, you're in a spectacular mood considering."
 
>Are you not? KASHAZAM!
 
A green bolt annihilated a snake made of of twizzlers that had been making a dive for her.
 
>Whenever am I going to get to cut loose like this? I haven't had such fun since the machines!
 
The princesses eyes turned serious.
 
"Chrysalis, this is bad. Discord creating these things are not odd, them attacking us is. They should not be this hostile."
 
The changeling froze, eyes narrowing just a bit on Celestia's cheek.
 
>Did they hurt you?
 
"It is just a scratch."
 
>Hnnn... of course.
 
Flippantly, she spun away.
 
>Well, if you are so worried, why not help in the destruction? Less of these things means less threats.
 
"The small fries will just come back, they cannot be permanently stopped."
 
>Oh? Then what do you suggest we do?
 
"...He can be taken off guard, Chrysalis. It's happened twice."
 
A long, feral grin split her fact.
 
>And now you are talking my language. What's the plan?
 
The princess did not answer, only turning to regard the other two changelings.
 
"Do be dears and ensure Shining Armor's family is safe, would you?"
 
Wearily, they shared a look.
 
'...Uh... sure.'
 
[So long as it is okay with her majesty, of course.]
 
>Mmmm, I suppose it is. Would hate for Shiny to be struck by some confetti creature or the like. 42? Do ensure my current residence in the Empire is not in peril.
 
She sternly saluted.
 
[As you wish, your majesty!]
 
>Good. And 18?
 
'Don't even have to order me.'
 
>...Of course. Off with you both now.
 
With a nod, they left.
 
>...Now, I do believe you had a plan?
 
"Yes, but... what are you doing?"
 
The green magic floating over Celestia's cheek stopped, and retracted.
 
>It's distracting.
 
"Right... As I was saying, it could be dangerous."
 
>Oh ho, Celestia...
 
She just smiled.
 
>No need to break out the thesaurus to make it more important, just call it.. 'fun'.
 
"...Really?"
 
>What? The thesaurus is the one that does the different words that mean the same thing, right?
 
"Well, it is, I'm just saying it was a stretch."
 
>And you would know all about stretching.
 
"...What?"
 
>Because any clothing you wear.
 
"Now THAT was a stretch."
 
>...Just give me the damn plan, I'm losing my buzz.
 
Now it was Celestia's turn to smile.
 
"It goes a little something like this..."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >IR
"CQ"
~~~
 
>These things are softer than rocks.
 
"Indeed."
 
>We punch rocks.
 
"We do."
 
>...Why are we not destroying them?
 
"We do not know what they do when destroyed."
 
>...This is valid.
 
"I thought so. More tea?"
 
>Please.
 
"...Do you think we look odd?"
 
Idly, he looked around the room, which was now upside down.
 
>...Comparatively, no.
 
"I thought so as well, but wished a second opinion."
 
>Glad I could provide.
 
"Indeed."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...It is a nice day out."
 
>That it is.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Chitania
"Cadence"
'2'
[Mane-iac]
{SA}
~???~
~~~~
 
>Make it stop...
 
"So then I said that no, it's not really all me, just ninety nine percent, but that one percent makes all the difference in hair care!"
 
>Make it stop...
 
'So I jus' wanted ta' say that ya' absolutely should not put marchmalleys in the oven, especially with hot chocolate in the middle. Ah' know, it sounds real smart, but it's actually kinda bad.'
 
>Make... it... stop..
 
[AHHHAHAHAHAH! SO THEN I TOOK ON THE FOOOOOOOOLISH POWER PONIES, AND I WOULD HAVE TAKEN OVER THE WORLD! WERE IT NOT FOR THAT DAAAAAASTARDLY HUMDRUM!]
 
>....make it stooooooopppp....
 
{So, uh... didn't really get a chance to introduce myself. Shining Armor, uh, thanks for keeping an eye on her when she was-}
 
"Oh Shiny, she knows about us already, I mean, we're us! But look at this hair, she clearly knows nothing about haircare."
 
{Or she has other interests.}
 
"...Say that again, and we are going to marriage counseling."
 
{...}
 
"...I'll do it."
 
>....Haaaattteee...
 
~MANEY! YOU'RE OKAY!... Oh, hey everyone!~
 
[AHHHAHAHAHH! POOOINDEXTER!... Hi!]
 
{Hey'a Dex. You doing okay?}
 
~Meh, had to hide underneath a giant sand worm made of sugar for a bit. Kinda sticky now.~
 
"You don't look bothered."
 
~I've seen weirder.~
 
"..."
 
{Friend, honey.}
 
"You have weird friends. Unlike my buddy here, she's normal!"
 
~Speaking of, who's that?~
 
>Hhhhhahaaaaattttteee....
 
~Seems irritated.~
 
"Naahh, she''s just worried about all the monsters, you know how it go!"
 
{Don't ask, and stick close.}
 
~Can do!~
 
{...Didn't mean that close to Mane-Iac.}
 
~Pal, there is an indestructible supervillain here and SHE WILL PROTECT ME.~
 
{...Fair enough.}
 
~...Seriously, though, your eyes are going to catch fire.~
 
>Haaaaaa....haaaaaaa...
 
"See? She's just giggling a bit at the ghosties!"
 
~Or just ran out of hates.~
 
>Hhhhaaaa.... hhaaaaa...
 
~Either or.~
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >13
'Various'
~~~~~~
 
>OH NO, FIRE!
 
*FWOOOSH*
 
>PIRANHAS!
 
*BITING SOUNDS!*
 
>PIRAHNAS MADE OF BEEEEEEEEES!
 
*BUZZING, BITING AND STINGING SOUNDS*
 
'...'
 
'...'
 
'...I'm a killer monster clown, and even I think this is a bit much.'
 
'Who's doing that? They are too hard core.'
 
'Nobody.'
 
'...beg pardon?'
 
'Nobody is doing that, those aren't chaos creations. She's just... Being attacked by piranha bees...'
 
>NOT THE EEEEEYYYYYEEEESSSS!
 
'....I'm scared.'
 
'Me too....'
 
>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >"...Say that again, and we are going to marriage counseling."
NC
>Cadence
"Councilor"
'SA'
~~~~
 
"...So, let me get this straight. He does most of the work regarding the kingdom..."
 
>Yep!
 
"Supports you in your endeavors."
 
>Yeah, it was CRAZY what he married into.
 
"Does extra effort so that you get your side things."
 
>Found room in the budget for FOUR more tankers of gel!
 
"Takes care of the little one the most..."
 
>Uh huh!
 
"Cooks all the food."
 
>Mine comes alive and debates the pros and cons of life!
 
"And your sex life is non-existent..."
 
>I'm more of a cuddler.
 
"...and despite the fact he has several attractive mares throwing themselves at him on a regular basis, does not even entertain the thought of extra-marital activities."
 
>Never even questions it!
 
"...and... and what did you want me to say again?"
 
>That I'm right!
 
"..."
 
'Just say it.'
 
"I don't feel like this is very healthy-"
 
'I'll pay you for two hours.'
 
"It's only been five minutes-"
 
'I'll make it three.'
 
"...Well, it's very clear that she is right about, uh..."
 
>HAH! See!? I told you beauty care was important!
 
'Guess you've got a second opinion on it.'
 
"...Are you serious?"
 
'Just... just don't.'
 
>VICTORYYYYYYY!
 
'Let her have this.'
 
>YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
 
"...why?"
 
'Love makes you crazy.'
 
>EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOOME!
 
'...Clinically, most likely in need of medical help, crazy...'
 
>EVERYTHING IS COOL DADADA DA DA DAAAAA!
 
----addition by another writer----
 
"Well, clearly, the only answer is to let him sleep with them."
 
>WHAT!?
 
"I'm just saying, you want to be right, don't you? This is the ultimate moral victory."
 
>...well, I do want to be-
 
'No, Chrysalis.'
 
*fwoosh*
 
"Damn! So close!"
 
>...oh wow, that was almost bad.
 
'...'
 
>Never speak of this again?
 
'Only, ONLY because I love you.'
 
>awwww...
 
"...victory is still on the table."
 
>Too late.
 
"Damn!"
 
----another addition----
 
(Haloh! I too vould like to inzist zat zee dehscribbed meshod ish shound in practize! You should totally zleep wish eesh ozzer many times for a helshy marriage!)
 
>Now I know this is legit, he has a mustache!
 
'Come on, eig-'
 
"Shhh! Let's see how long."
 
(How good ish yorr technique, vould you zay?)
 
>I'm more of a cuddler...
 
(normally, I vould send you to an azzocciate, but in ze name of doctor paizeint confedientiality, I zhall instead handle zis myself. Vould you like me to zhow you some... Upper, techniques?)
 
>Will your mustache get in the way?
 
(Not an izzue.)
 
>I don't know...
 
"Any second now"
 
>Okay!
 
>...
 
'...'
 
>...well?
 
"Any.. Uh... Any second now.."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Twilight
"AJ"
'Rarity'
[Dash]
{Pinkie}
~Spike~
~~~~~
 
>DRAT!
 
"Ah' dunno why ya' thought this would work."
 
>WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING!
 
"Ah'm just sayin', we just ran ta' the center of the park, and correct me iffin' ah'm wrong but the center of the park would make the most sense, right?"
 
>...
 
"...But we're dealin' with chaos whatsits."
 
'She has a point, darling.'
 
>Fine! Where should we fly to next?
 
[Bout five feet to the side.]
 
>...Why-
 
*WHAM!*
 
{TWILIGHT!}
 
~DASH! WHAT THE HELL!?~
 
[I told her to move...]
 
~Not the same thing!~
 
[Sorry, just thought she would move.]
 
'WELL SHE DIDN'T!'
 
[Saw that.]
 
"What in tarnation hit her anyway!?"
 
[Giant ball of popcorn.]
 
'...Just popcorn?'
 
~Not, like, crazy popcorn made of eyeballs?~
 
[Nope. Salted and buttered popcorn.]
 
{...Even I think that's weird.}
 
*POP!*
 
[Oh hey, you're back.]
 
>THANKS FOR THE HELP! HAVING A SUPER DAY, BY THE BY!
 
"What'd ya' want us to do? Ya' can teleport..."
 
>The moment, and I mean the MOMENT I GET MY HOOVES ON DISCORD I WILL HEAR A POP!
 
[Harsh.]
 
>I STAND BY IT!
 
~Seriously though, why just regular popcorn?~
 
{I feel like it's building to something...}
 
>NO TIME! FLY WITH ME!
 
"Sure are bossy ta'day."
 
>NOT IN THE MOOD!
 
[Twilight, please move five feet to the side-]
 
>I SAID-
 
*WHAM!*
 
"...Okay, yer' off on that one."
 
[That's what I thought.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Vekir
"Rekulk"
'Grehm'
 
>Whaaaaat...haaaappened?
 
"Mine, my gems, everyone stay away, minemineminemine!"
 
Grehm blinks at his two siblings, fresh from their meal of marshmallow bunnies, Vekir's movements are sluggish, her speech an unbearable slog of vocabulary, while Rekulk, once jovial has constructed a pillow fort out of which only his eyes can be seen, suspiciously regarding the other two.
 
'It would appear, dearest sister, that our meal of marshmallowy lapines has altered our very natures to their cores. Indeed, this seems to beanother oddity added to our already strange day, perhaps the machinations of some evil that eclipses the sky demon in strength. Yes yes, it is most definitely a most foul and terrible evil that befouls our beings and be-lingers my speech patterns I really wish this would stop but I can't seem to halt my verbose verbiage-'
 
A pillow smacks him in the face.
 
'Thank you brother.'
 
"...gimmebackmypillow."
 
>Whaaaaat...shooooould...weeeee...dooooo?
 
'Hmmm, the proper course of action would be to join in the fight against this malevolence, yes, to preserve our alliance with our friends we must-'
 
"Gimmebackmypillow."
 
'-sally forth like ancient knights to the rescue of our confederates and right the wrongs against our fragile reality-'
 
Vekir slowly smacks Grehm in the back of the head.
 
'Thank you.'
 
>Arrrmooorrrr ooonnnn...
 
Vekir's armor covers her body, she begins to sluggishly walk for the door.
 
'And you, my mate's brother?'
 
"...why? Pony's are sneaky stealers! I have never received fair trades from them!"
 
'...The monsters want to steal your gems.'
 
"ARMOR ON!"
 
Rekulk charges through the door...leaving it in splinters.
 
'And armor, if you would so kindly place yourself in a state of being active so that I may face the evils that invade our great hotel-'
 
Grehm's pink armor activates and covers him.
 
'...thank you.'
 
Grehm marches out of the room...then comes back to scoop Vekir's up onto his head and charge back out.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Limestone
"Marble"
'Various'
[???]
~~~~
 
>Stick close, sis! We're gonna both need to punch them if we come across anyone else like this.
 
"Okay, when you say 'close', I don't feel like you should be on top of me."
 
>Well, I am.
 
"No, like, really on top of me. Is there something you want to tell me?"
 
>This is not the time for sisterly "I'm really scared on the inside" moments.
 
"Was hoping more for "Oh sister, I just noticed how utterly amazing your well exercised body is-"
 
*SMACK!*
 
"Oh, what, we can do it to Pinkie but I can't do it to you!?"
 
>Damn straight.
 
"Nu uh! No way! We gotta play fair with this."
 
>The hell we do!
 
"Why I oughta..."
 
>...Do you hear that-
 
And just then, a massive stampede of creatures raced past them.
 
'OH DEAR CHAOS SHE'S AFTER US!'
 
'RUN! RUN WITH WHATEVER LIMBS YOU CAN FIND!'
 
'USE YOUR DICKS IF YOU HAVE TO! JUST DO SOMETHING!'
 
'WHAT KIND OF CRUEL GOD OF CHAOS WOULD ALLOW THIS!? THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS VIOLATING MY RIIIIIIGHTS!'
 
'RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!'
 
And thus, everything from giant motza balls to four legged bicycle ponies raced past, and down the hall.
 
...Followed very closely by a Changeling running after them, hopping awkwardly as she ran on her hind legs and carrying something in her forelegs.
 
[WAIT! COME BACK! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES! WHAT DOES IT DO!? WHAT DOES IT DO AND WHY IS IT TICKING!? WHAT DOES IT-]
 
Suddenly, she tripped, faceplanting right inside of the box.
 
When she pulled her face free, it was no longer clean.
 
[...Fleas... fleas with CHAINSAAAAWWWWSS!? AHHHHHHHH!]
 
Her face covered in tiny insects wielding tinier logging equipment, she resumed running after the creatures.
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...Yep.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 We rejoin our heroes engaged in epic battle! Against foes so dastardly, they stand united as a team, ever ready to give it their very best for truth, justice, and all that is good and righteous in this world! Though the odds may seem skewed, they nonetheless give it their all! And even now, they edge closer to the grandest of victories!
 
“MY SPLEEN!”
 
That’s right, Chitania’s Crushers have almost got this won!
 
“Hah! These things are supposed to give us a fight? Please, I’ve seen stronger turnips!” Titania mocked as she drove her hoof into Green’s side.
 
“Do not get cocky. Many a foe we faced seemed easy to defeat at first, but showed us a great surprise later.” Thuntainia grunted, piledriving Blue into the ground.
 
“Well, maybe they were hoping to distract us with their utterly garish attire!” Crushtainia minced as she flippantly tossed Indigo around.
 
“Or maybe they just thought we were gonna just dance with ‘em! I’ve got no problem with that!” Smashtania giggled as she danced atop Yellow. “You better call me a cow cause I’ve got the moooooves in me!”
 
“Smashy!” They all groaned.
 
“Don’t make me hurt you!” Titania yelled.
 
“MEEP!”
 
“Still, it is odd how easily they are defeated. Something is up…” Thuntania wondered.
 
But her pondering would have to wait, for further away from the group, an epic battle ensued! Rainbolt Red dodged, and ducked, and darted deftly down during damaging destruction!
 
He ran, mostly, is what you should take away from this.
 
Finally seeing an opening, he at last decided now was the time to strike!
 
“SUPAAAA-CHAAAARR SWOOOOOORRRD!” He called, hefting a flaming weapon above his head, and charging downward with insane speed!
 
“Your team mates are less than impressive.” The faux Chitania grunted, easily holding back the flaming sword.
 
Unmoved by how unmoved the non-moving opponent, he pressed forward! “My team are the most powerful squad in the world! Mostly! If you don’t count the Elements of Harmony, or the princesses, or those guys that hang out with Shining Armor, or the A-team, or… well, okay, we’re SOMEWHERE on the list.” Red morosely finished.
 
“If you say so… I’M GONNA CRUSH IT!”
 
“Is that really your catchphr-ACK!”
 
With one swings, she annihilated the sword, and most of his helmet.
 
“Your team might be the most powerful Squad… but you are nothing next to the CRUSHERS!”
 
“Oh yeah!? What do we have to say to that, guys!?... Uh, guys?”
 
He turned around, and was greeted with the sight of his comrades in a pile, a little white flag waving above them.
 
“…Okay, new plan! TIME FOR SUPER MODE!”
 
The pile gasped
 
“But boss, supermode is still unstable!... Like, really unstable!” Green pointed out.
 
“As in you’ll probably die.” Blue added.
 
“What good is a hero if, in the darkest hour, he is unwilling to give it his all!? What is a hero if not one who sees the danger before him, and laughs in it’s face!? WHAT GOOD IS A HERO WHO WILL NOT… you guys can talk me out of this at any time.”
 
“No no,” Indigo pointed out, “You have a compelling argument. Go for it.”
 
“And hey, just blame it on me if it goes south.” Yellow added.
 
“…VERY WELL!”
 
The Crushers gathered around, patiently waiting as Red struck a pose, his right foreleg out in front of him.
 
“SUPPPPAAAAAA~”
 
A watch on his limb began to spin, letting out a screeching call.
 
“INFERNAAAAAA~”
 
Flames began to overtake him, pouring into his body, and igniting him all over.
 
“PHEONIX MODO!”
 
Like the so brutally butchered namesake he had mangled, his wings turned as if to flames, and his body surged with power.
 
“…Miss Twilight is going to be pissed when she finds out you stole her love harness thing.” Blue piped up.
 
“Meh, she was crazy, not a big deal.”
 
“Stealing from crazy ponies is worse.”
 
“…Point.”
 
“What is that!?” Smashtania whimpered, hiding behind Titania.
 
“He’s transformed!” Thuntania pointed out unhelpfully.
 
“Peh, I can take him.” Titania scoffed, yet still backed up.
 
“Oh my, he certainly looks a lot better at least.” Crushtainia added.
Only their leader had nothing to say, instead simply narrowing her eyes as he floated into the air.
 
“GIGABREAKA BURN FIST!” He screeched, suddenly rocketing towards Thuntania and taking her off her hooves with one earth shattering blow.
 
“NO!” Titania snarled, snapping forward. “YOU PIECE OF TRASH! I’LL CRUSH YOUR HEAD IN-“
 
But the green, burning warrior was unafraid.
 
“TWISTA-BREAKA-BLOW!” He called out, laying out a furious spin-kick, right to her cheek.
 
“Oh my!” Crushtania winced. “That certainly looked-“
 
“BURNING CRACKING FLYING EARTH MOVING STOOOOOONE SMASHA!”
 
“NOT IN THE FACE NOT IN THE FACE!”
 
To his credit, he didn’t go for the face, instead hooking up under into her stomach, and rocketing her away.
 
“GLK-THANKS!”
 
“…Uh, so is it my turn-“
 
Smashtania didn’t even get a weirdly drawn out name, he just stomped on her.
 
“YOOOOOUUU!” Red declared, pointing at the last one standing. “You think you know justice, you know power!? You are misled, false even! The true power of the heart burns in me, and with it, I shall defeat you! HE-YAH!” He struck a pose, getting ready to charge. “THIS ENDS NOW!”
 
With that, he rocketed forward, flame covered hoof aimed right for her head.
 
“You think you know power…”
 
He cocked back…
 
“...That’s cute.”
 
And his fist swung forward, connecting hard. Just… not with the part he was expecting it to connect with.
 
“Well… that’s new.” He muttered, stunned at what lied before him.
 
Where had once been air, was now blocked by a giant hoof. Her giant hoof, specifically… but only her hoof. The rest of her remained the exact same size.
 
He skidded back, striking another pose as her arm retracted.
 
“CRUSHERS! You got your second wind back?”
 
One by one, they got back up, each one shaking off what should have been catastrophic damage.
 
“Little piece of crud…” Titania growled. “You just messed with the wrong Crusher!”
 
Right before his eyes, her skin shimmered, changing it’s look from reddish Chitin to hard, shining metallic coloring.
 
“TITANIUM TACKLE!”
 
He was struck back as if a locomotive made of metal, er, harder metal, had rammed him. Even his love powered body couldn’t shake that off. He skidded back, only to be caught by a pair of blue hooves.
 
“Did you really think we were just crushers?” Thuntainia frowned. “We all have powers. Such as my THUNDERCLAP!”
 
Her hooves clapped together, and a massive sonic boom sent him flying through the air once more.
 
“Oh how considerate! You didn’t even let him hit the ground. Thank you, darling! Now I can use my CRUSHER BALL!” Crushtania chattered, curling into a purple ball and rocketing up into the air, ricocheting off the figure like a demented pinball.
 
“Oh! Oh! Oh! Don’t forget about meeeeeee!” Smashtania giggled. “I’ve got my SLAPPY SMASHER!”
 
Her limbs stretched like rubber. Weirdly colored, clearly not connected to the rest of her limbs rubber. But it looked fun, at least.
 
Not for Red, of course, he got slapped to the side, and towards the last remaining Crusher.
 
“Power comes from love, alright… the love, of TEAMWORK! No matter what evil, WE’LL CRUSH IT!” She roared, her limb shifting to supersized once more, and slamming him hard into the ground.
 
She lifted her hoof free, and gradually his flames melted away, his power dispersing.
 
“NOT GOOD!” Green shrieked.
 
“NOT GOOD NOT GOOD NOT GOOD!” Yellow added.
 
“HAH! That’s right it isn’t good, now you’re all going to jail!” Titania mocked, blowing a raspberry. “Hope you get some reading material, you're gonna be locked up for a looong time!”
 
"Baloney, they never stay locked up for a long time." Smastania pointed out. "Like a revolving door..."
 
“NOT THAT! He’s gonna burn out now!”
 
“Burn… out?” Crushtania wondered, turning back to the fallen leader. Sure enough, he was growing grey, and his chitin was starting to crack.
 
“The fool.” Thuntainia grunted. “So obsessed with power he let it destroy him.”
 
“Pfft, serves him right!” Titania laughed. “We should let him rot!”
 
“…No.” Their leader declared, stepping forward. “That is not how we do things. We are heroes. Heroes save everybody… even the badguys. CRUSHERS! ENGERGIZE!”
 
“Aww!” Titania groused, but reluctantly joined hooves with the others as they surrounded him. Together, their horns ignited, and a power flowed through every horn, jumping from every one of them. Finally, it landed on Chitania, who regarded the still crumbling changelings.
 
“Even if it’s not with a brawl… WE’LL SAVE THEM ALL!”
 
He gasped as the power infused within him. Slowly, very slowly, he regained his former colors, and turned back to normal.
 
“…Whoa.” Blue muttered.
 
“Uh… thanks?” Indigo chimed.
 
“Oh, don’t thank us yeeeeet!” Titania sang out.
 
“…Why?” Green asked, terrified.
 
“Because we still have to ensure you’re not going to escape before the police arrive.” Chitania smirked.
 
“…Oh? And how are you going to-MY FACE!”
 
“OH SWEET HIVEMIND IT HURTS!”
 
“I BLAME YOU, YELLOW! I BLAME YOOOOOOOUUUUU!”
 
“I KNOOOOOWWW!”
 
“Well!” Smashtania declared, brushing the dust off her hooves. “I guess that’s all… wrapped up!”
 
They all laughed at the five dangling upside down from the convenient lamp post, stuck together with ropes of taffy.
 
“Oh Smashy.” Chitania shook her head. “Come on, there is still evil that needs faced, and these minibosses were a good warm up! Crushers, into danger, we CHARGE!”
 
With a cheer, they all raced off, leaving the dangling Rainbolts behind.
 
“…So…that was humiliating.”
 
“Minibosses. They called us minibosses.”
 
“I wish we had our giant robots.”
 
“Wow, this sure is a sticky situation!”
 
“…Red, what the hell?”
 
“…I might have a concussion or nine…”
 
And so ends our thrilling battle! Action! Mystery! Friendship! All still await you, next time! Same time, same channel, same thrilling show! What will face them next time? Stay tuned, and find out-
 
“SHUT UP YELLOW!”
 
“…Sorry.”
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 NC as fuck son.
'SA'
"TS"
>Celestia
 
Shining Armour had finished wandering the castle in Cantalot, having taken care of various little bits of business, and on his way back to the portal to the empire when he spotted his sister leisurely flicking through a book.
 
'Oh, Twily! I've been meaning to tell you something. You know you plucked a few movies and ideas from that dimension you got the original gun plans from?'
 
"Yeah Shiny?"
 
'You might want to stop Celestia from watching any more of them. Just a heads up.'
 
"Oh, is she spending all day binging on them?"
 
'Ah.... Well. Not exactly.'
 
>FURUERU ZO HATO! MOESTUKIRU HODO HITO! KIZAMU ZO, KETSUEKI NO BITO!
 
>SUNLIGHT YELLOW OOOOOOOOOOOOOOVERDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEUUUUUUU
 
There was an orange Alicorn standing there before that, who was now rocketing through the air after going through the ceiling of the castle. A small piece of paper was a proposal to cut cake funds by a modest 20%. Sometimes when you see if you can push the line, the line pushes back.
 
And then strikes a fabulous pose to boot.
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 NC
>Sombra
"Twi"
~~~
"So, if you had already gained a reputation as a ruthless warlord by the time you took the the throne of the Crystal Empire, how did you have such popular support in the beginning?"
 
>Well, as it so happens, those black crystals so strongly associated with me were once a welcomed sight.
 
"Seriously?"
 
>Indeed, I won the peoples hearts and minds by providing affordable eye protection from the sun and snow's glare.
 
"You're joking, right?"
 
>Hey, free state health care was revolutionary!
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