_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>42
"Brain"
~~~~~
 
>AHAHAHAHAHAH! SUCK IT, BRAIN!
 
"Are you seriously laughing at me?"
 
>YES! For I have found a way to keep you in check! It's brilliance even you couldn't understand!
 
"Punching?"
 
>...SPECIFIC punching!
 
"Do tell."
 
>Giant slab of metal, lots of punching! Just doesn't get anymore complicated than that. So long as I keep hitting, I'm not thinking about things, nosebleedy things... which is good, the doctor says if it keeps up, I'm going to need to carry around a little blood pack with me everywhere.
 
"Well, glad to see you're on your game here."
 
>I am!
 
"...sooo... you just going to live here?"
 
>If I have to.
 
"Oh, that's a shame. I think Cadence just walked towards the hot tub."
 
>...S-so? Not like it matters to me, I'd be too sweaty to get into it with her. I'd have to take a shower first, and then what's the point?
 
"You're right, you'd have to ask her to join in the shower, which would be silly."
 
>...Right... s-silly... sooo...sssiiiii-RAPIDFIREPAUNCHPAUNCHPAUNCHPAUNCHPAUNCHPAUNCHPAUNCHPAUNCHPAUNCH~!
 
"Your nose is bleeding."
 
>PUNCHING IT AWAY!
 
"Not how that works."
 
>BULLSHIT! ALL THINGS ARE SOLVED WITH PUNCHES!
 
"If you say so... speaking of, where did you get this anyway?"
 
>...I actually just chose it at random, I was walking down the hall when I suddenly thought about what Shiny and 18's kids would look like, but they came out looking weird and I started thinking things and then I saw this piece of metal and I was like 'oh yes hit things' and now I am hitting things but now I am going back to those kids and why do those eyes look familiar and OH NOKEEPPUNCHINGKEEPUNCHING-
 
~MY HOVERBIKE!~
 
>...
"..."
 
>...Whoops.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Applejack
“???”
‘Nurse Redheart’
_____
 
The Princess of Paperwork waltzed through the hospital double doors, completely unburdened by any type of security or paparazzi. That didn’t stop the many patrons within, workers and the sick alike, from bowing to her when she passed on her way to the front counter.
 
‘Princess!’
 
>You seem surprised to see me, Nurse Redheart.
 
‘Well, I... you know what, I’ll be honest, and really, I might as well before the Element of Honesty-’
 
That was obviously a joke and if the cause for her visit had been different, Applejack might have snorted at it.
 
‘-but when I heard you were coming down here to visit… well, *that* patient, I didn’t actually think I’d see you in the next three hours.’
 
>Never was one to waste time, Nurse, y’all know me.
 
Redheart only giggled as she picked up a file with her magic and beckoned for the apple princess to follow as she started down a hallway.
 
‘So. Is the reason for your visit off the books or am I allowed to ask?’
 
>I’ll say… it’s classified. An’ only ‘cause her letter was written in a code I’ve only read about in books….
 
‘You may want to entertain the idea that that was just a coincidence, princess. Really. This one’s mind is broken beyond repair, there’s not a shred of the pony that once was anymore, if there ever had been.’
 
>An’ that means…?
 
‘I’ll put it this way. I’m the head operator of this hospital, been here since only a few days after it was opened… and yet she was admitted since before I took over. When a patient beats the help in, that’s a dangerously red flag.’
 
They had descended a few floors now, more than the hospital carried.
 
>Are we… goin' underground?
 
‘Yes. We keep her in the basement.’
 
>Why ever for?
 
‘She requested it.’
 
>…
 
The two mares strode down a brightly lit hallway, the floor and walls a blistering white. At the end was a notched steel door with a latch for peeking through.
 
Redheart gave the door four precise raps with her hoof before looking to the princess.
 
‘As requested, I’ll give the two of you some time to talk. But be careful… she’s got a few screws loose.’
 
Applejack nodded and waited until the nurse had retreated down the hall and out of sight before flipping the latch open.
 
She gasped at the pair of eyes staring back at her. They were horrifyingly wide and penetrating.
 
“Huh. You came.”
 
>You called.
 
“Huh.”
 
The eyes blinked.
 
“Shoddy.”
 
>…pardon?
 
“I said ‘shoddy’. I expected better of the security of this place, especially concerning me. I almost feel insulted.”
 
>What do you mean?
 
“You slipped. ‘Y’all’, not you. And your mane is a lackluster blonde. Your cutie mark of apples are actually those of the cox type. That hat is not an authentic Stetson, it’s a nice replica but easily spotted as secondhand. Your tail isn’t in it’s ponytail. The left eye is a different shade of green. And your hips are more narrow than they should be. Like I said, shoddy.”
 
>…
 
“Now’s not the time to surprised, Pennydrop. That comes later.”
 
‘Applejack’ could only give a slight laugh of defeat moments before her very image seemed to fizzle and short-circuit, the projection falling away in a gust of wind to reveal the head of Fawntaine Futuristics.
 
>Well, it appears you’re as good as the letter hinted you might be, Screw Loose.
 
The eyes only strained even further, to the point where red veins began to prominently show themselves.
 
“As a protip, you may need to fire your current crop of scientists. That disguise was just awful. I didn’t ‘lose my mind and start throwing my shit all over the walls’ just to be recruited back into an elementary-level organization.”
 
>I… I’ll circle back around to that insult in a moment, but did you really…?
 
“No. That was mud scooped together with three-week old garbage. But when you work in a psychiatric ward for the mentally unstable, the workers aren’t exactly going to hold their face to it to make sure it’s really what it looks like.”
 
>…
 
The eyes blinked, slowly, eerily.
 
Pennydrop straightened her tie uncomfortably.
 
>And I’ll have you know, Miss Loose, that Fawntaine Futuristics is a legitimate business venture with many outlets-
 
“Maybe when Fawntaine himself was running it, sure. But truthfully, I don’t think you can fill his shoes, if that’s the best hologram projections your team is capable of.”
 
>Your tongue proceeds your need for freedom, I see. I think I’m beginning to understand why Mr. Fawntaine let you go.
 
The eyes flickered with a touch of manic glee.
 
“Quite the novice, aren’t you? If you allow an unruly mouth to get in the way of scientific progress, then we’d still be a civilization rolling stones around in mud. I was fired because I’ve got more screws loose than my name suggests. You know those weapon schematics most of your little group are playing with right now? Mine. The labs I’m pretty sure you kids have no idea how to fully operate? Mine. I built the scientific portions of Fawntaine from scratch and a little bit of spit.”
 
>…
 
The eyes suddenly vanished from the little opening allowing Pennydrop to glimpse a room beyond the door, a room of clutter and absolute disarray. The room of a mad scientist.
 
“But our time is just about up and that delightful nurse should be on her way to make sure I haven’t choked on my own tongue. G’day for now, New Fawntaine. Oh, but a favor, though? I can’t stand seeing the work I put into those hologram prototypes being bastardized like that so tell your boys to look inside the bust of that bull in the fifth office. Some of my old notes should still be there. Toodles, I’ve a show to put on.”
 
Following her dismissal, Pennydrop only stared, her ears prickling when the sound of Screw Loose’s insane screaming squeezed through the tiny opening.
 
“THE BATS! THE BATS ARE COMING BACK FOR MY NOODLES!”
 
The hologram switch was flicked and Pennydrop was once again Applejack by the time Nurse Redheart came galloping down the halls, flanked by two sturdy looking stallions in white.
 
‘I knew she would get excited talking to you, princess. Sorry about this.’
 
Applejack watched as the two stallions bumrushed into the room but could see nothing except the floor, which was littered with hundreds upon thousands of papers and notes and scribbles.
 
>It’s, uh… not a problem. Y’all.
 
The screaming stopped abruptly and the stallions walked out, dragging an unconscious Screw Loose behind them by the ropes of her straightjacket. She wore a brown leather muzzle and had a rather thick needle sticking out of her thigh.
 
‘You know the drill, boys, up to the showers with her.’
 
And as Nurse Redheart led the helpers down the hall, Applejack felt her stomach drop when Screw Loose parted those haunting eyes and winked.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Octavia
"Fredrick"
'Security'
{???}
~~~~~
 
>UNCULTURED SWINE!
 
"Wow, noon already? Listen, can we not do this in a nice restaurant? I'm pretty sure I can get that waitresses number."
 
>Choke on it! I'm sick those ruffians mishandling my cello! It is a piece of art, not some toy to be tossed about as if it were made of plastic!
 
"You're over-reacting."
 
>No! No I am not! Not a single pony in this who defunct inbred town even knows how to SPELL culture! Look at that one!
 
Across from their table, the ears of a bright tangerine earth pony with a hot pink mane twitched.
 
>She is carrying a popcorn machine from a carnival! IN A RESTAURANT!
 
"Technically, we're outside the-"
 
>Is this town so backwards that they think common fairground food is now something they must have on their person at all times!? WHAT IS WITH THIS PLACE!?
 
Slowly, very slowly, the earth pony got out of her seat, and trotted over.
 
{Did you just say something about my machine? I couldn't hear from way, way over there. By all means, repeat it.}
 
"Now look what you did. Sorry, miss, she's had a REALLY bad week."
 
>It's bad enough I have to smell that thing already! Security! This mare is harassing me!
 
Sighing in obvious distaste, the burly guard made his way next to the garishly colored mare.
 
'Miss, I know she's annoying, but can you please get back to your sea-'
 
In the blink of an eye, a hoof had gone up, and said stallion had gone way, way, waaaay up. Then down... on the other side of the street.
 
>...
 
"Quite, ah, quite an uppercut you've got there. Didn't even look at him and you managed to clear the road."
 
{You were saying?}
 
>...
 
"...This is going to end badly."
 
{Go on, speak.}
 
>...Uh....
 
{Well, since you seemed so keen on examining my property...}
 
With a single swipe of her hoof, she snapped the very large, and very sturdy, lock holding her cello case closed without effort, and lifted the instrument out.
 
>NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE!
 
"Wow, you are strong. I mean, damn."
 
A malicious eye examined the instrument, a hoof teasingly going along it's strings.
 
{Mmm, yes, I am. I am quite powerful. But you see, well, that power can be a problem sometimes. It's very hard to contain it. Takes a lot of control, actually... and to be honest, I've never been very good at control. Quite worrying, wouldn't you say?}
 
If the grey earth pony tear her eyes away from her beloved music maker long enough to respond... she probably would have made the situation worse, actually.
 
{Fortunately, I've learned of various... outlets for my power. Would you like to see one?}
 
"N-no thanks, we're good..."
 
{No no... I insist.}
 
Her precious, expensive and well maintained bow was also lifted out of her case. Both it and the cello were held high, and the pair could only watch what happened next with wide eye and gaping mouths.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk5vlboqH4I
 
The entire restaurant and most of the patrons on the street, which had already been watching what they thought was sure to be carnage unfolding, could only stare awestruck as she softly began to glide the bow across the strings. No words were spoken as they watched her furrow her brow in concentration, obviously a little out of practice, but nonetheless playing with amazing precision.
 
Softly, the music drew to a close, and the enraptured audience applauded. Smirking, she carelessly tossed the cello back into it's case.
 
{That thing is awful, so out of tune.}
 
If she could think past the humiliation, the rage in her head would probably have led her to do something rash.
 
Chuckling to herself, the tangerine pony picked up Mr Popcorn, and made her way down the street, compliments being received, and ignored.
 
"...Huh. She's pretty good. I wonder..."
 
Her glare could have melted steel.
 
"I'm not saying I'd replace you! Just... you know..."
 
By the way head met table, she did know.
 
And it did not help.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Twilight
"Spike"
'42'
~~~
We join Twilight in her laboratory before the Sub Space Alternate Reality Simulator...
 
>Hmmm... Give her a bit more focus on anti-armor... And that should do it for 42. Now... How do we stat-
 
"Hey, Twilight, what's up?"
 
>SPIKE!
 
'Princess, you seemed surprised, you were the one who wanted to look at my harness, I hope you don't mind but I invited Spike a long.'
 
>Uh, no! Not at all! you're just early!
 
"What have you got there, twilight?"
 
>Nothing!
 
"They look like unit stat blocks."
 
>I said- Oh... what's the use.... I decided to take the Hyperspace Hyper Wars program Poindexter and Shiny wrote up for the SSARS and make a mod of it based on all of us.
 
'Please tell me you didn't base the hive off of the slugenoids.'
 
>No! I was building factions from the ground up, complete with hero units.
 
'Really?'
 
"That's... kind of cool."
 
"'I CALL FIRST MATCH!'"
 
"She hasn't even statted your hero unit!"
 
'I'll play the cult of Discord then!'
 
>Hey, calm down! We can all play in a free for all.
 
'You are the second best princess.'
 
>"Whose number one-"
 
'NO COMMENT!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>42
"Doctor"
'???'
~~~~
 
>So, just an old war wound that's acting up, right? Yeah, of course it is, I knew it, but my Queen worried, so I just wanted a little slip of paper to show her and prove I was okay.
 
"Well, you're partially right, there was some scar tissue in there that's likely the result of a bad blow you took-"
 
>Hah! Knew it. Say no more, I'll be on my way-
 
"HOWEVER!"
 
>...
 
"...That's not what's causing it. You have monstrously high blood pressure. If we had taken a blood sample, it would have sprayed everywhere."
 
>Ah, I see, my being on edge and always looking out for possible threats is an issue, is it? Well, it is an occupational hazard, I suppose some medication might be in order.
 
"There is no medication I can give you strong enough that would not kill you, I will be blunt."
 
>Again, I understand. This is a threat in my line of work that I must deal with, there is nothing more to say on the matter.
 
"At this rate you are literally going to rocket your eyeballs out of their sockets."
 
>I do not need to see to punch, I feel.
 
"A tiny nick will drain you of all of your blood."
 
>Then I will simply not have to avoid being wounded. Easy enough.
 
"Your heart is going to explode."
 
>Meh, I've had worse.
 
"...What on earth could be causing this? I've treated soldiers before, I've treated soldiers who are politicians before, nobody has this much stress."
 
>Well, I do, so if you don't mind-
 
*Doorslam!*
 
'Oh, 42! Thank goodness! Listen, I know this is going to sound sudden but do you know where Chrysalis keeps her 'special' veil? You know, the one she used in the competition with Celestia?'
 
>...
 
'...The stripper stuff!'
 
>...I-In her room, T-t-top left drawer, in the back.
 
'Oh thank you! You're a lifesaver!... I'm am SO going to show up 18! You need to come down tonight, I might need another judge.'
 
>I-I-I-I-
 
'Thanks!'
 
*HUG!*
 
*LEAVES!*
 
>...
 
"...are you-"
 
*NOSEBLEEDSPLOSION!*
 
"GOOD LORD!"
 
>...You... saw... nothing.
 
"I-"
 
>NOTHING!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Pinkie"
'Luna'
[Sombra]
~~~~~
 
>So, just out of curiosity, do you have a bathroom in here?
 
'...No?'
 
>What do you mean, 'no'?
 
'When, exactly, does thou think plumbing became widespread? Nevermind that, when does thou think I would have time to *bring up contractors* up here to instal it? Does thou think I know how plumbing works? We do not! We are not even sure tis' not a form of magic!'
 
"Some places are, I think?"
 
[I feel your pain. You know how terrible it is to know that something called a shower was invented while you were away, and you never got to enjoy it? Shining Armor wastes so much time in there, you'd swear it was made of aphrodisiacs.]
 
"Oh? Shiny spends a lot of time in the shower, eeeeehhhh?"
 
>What's your point?
 
'Yes, we do not get it either.'
 
[I'm lost too.]
 
"...Seriously?"
 
>What? Shower time is Shiny Time.
 
"... NOBODY is going to 'touch' that, really?"
 
'Thou art confusing us.'
 
[Why did you put such a weird emphasis on that one word?]
 
>Are you okay? Is your oxygen levels too high?
 
"ARRGGGHHH!"
 
*STOMPS AHEAD!*
 
>Weird.
 
'Right?'
 
[That's Pinkie, I suppose.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Chronologically, this is out of order, but no way was I missing this today.
>SA
“2”
~
 
>Okay, Two? I appreciate the effort, really, but this blindfold is-HIEE... taaable?
 
“Sorry, Shiny! It's hard ta' see up here.”
 
>Are you sure I can't take this off-
 
“NU-UH! Gotta be a surprise!”
 
>Oh, I guess I can-HRK!... My knee is going to have the consistency of gravel when we are done.
 
“Sorry!”
 
>It's fine.
 
“It is, cause we're here! Aaaand.... Happy Daddy's day! OPEN!”
 
>...
 
“...OH! Right! Take off the blindfold THEN open!”
 
He did so, his eyes readjusting to the light after a solid half hour walk, and why it took that long he would never know seeing as he was just walking to his office. Slowly, he came face to face with his left wall.
 
Or, more specifically, the new painting upon it.
 
It was him, holding her tightly to his chest and... flying.
 
>Oh, Two... it's beautiful.
 
“I know ya' ain't got wings yet, but I figure... someday, yer' gonna, so then when ya' do I ain't gotta make another picture!”
 
He couldn't tear his eyes away from them. To think, not so very long ago, they were all he ever wanted. Getting those protrusions from his back meant the entire world to him. He would have fought any monster, risked anything. The way to respect, recognition, attention...
 
It all seems so silly now.
 
>I love it. Thank you so much.
 
Just as he did in the picture, the flesh and blood pony brought her close in a tight, warm embrace. For a moment, he was silent, just savoring it. Savoring this sweet moment that only came once in a lifetime.
 
“...Shiny?”
 
>Yeah?
 
“Why'd ya' decide to be a dad?”
 
He knew he shouldn't laugh at that, but the thought was just too funny.
 
>Decide is probably the wrong word... when you first stumbled into my room, I never thought... honestly, the possibility never even crossed my mind.
 
Gently, she nuzzled a bit further to him.
 
“So... why'd ya' do it?”
 
Another laugh, this one much lighter.
 
>Well, why'd you decide to be a daughter?
 
“I dunno...”
 
>Well, me either. Sometimes... sometimes life just takes a twist you never expected, sometimes some random occurrence that was never even imagined decides how you're going to live from then on. One day, a tall Changeling Queen decided to pick you, little old you out of all of her hive, to come and find 42. Out of all the places in all the world, you went to my room. Of all choices you could have made the day after... you came back. I did not decide anything but not to listen to the anger and bitterness in my heart that told me to toss you out, simply because you shared a species with one who had hurt me. Decide? I didn't decide this life. I don't deserve that credit. I didn't chose it the first time, but...
 
Slowly, she tilted her head up, and looked him right in the eyes.
 
>...If I could, I would chose it a thousand times over again, and that's if they only offered it once.
 
With the love powering her at that moment, she could have wrecked the entire castle.
 
She would have to settle for his ribs instead.
 
“H-happy daddy's day.”
 
>Two... every day with you is happy.
 
“I love you, Daddy.”
 
>And I will always love you, my daughter.
 
There was never a single doubt, for either of them.
 
Even if he never gained his immortality, there was one thing... that would never die.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Applejack
“Celestia”
‘???’
______
 
>Hey, Celly, call me blind but Ah need to-
 
Halfway into Celestia’s room, Applejack promptly paused. The solar princess sat by the window, wings softly folded and with her head rested on the sill.
 
She was asleep.
 
>Huh. Well, this is kinda… hey, Celly? Y’all okay? Ya know, it’s not healthy to jus’ fall out wherever ‘cause yer ti…
 
In her slumber, there was a peaceful yet weary smile stuck to the solar princess’s face, but that wasn’t what caused Applejack to fall silent. It was the matted fur underneath her puffy eyes… She’d been crying. But why?
 
There was an envelope clutched in her limp hoof, threatening to slip away.
 
>An’ what’s this here?
 
It read:
 
‘Dear Princess Celestia’
 
‘Well, you are not going to believe this but your spoiled little bonbon of a nephew?’
 
‘He’s back. He’s eating again, cooking up full-course meals and everything. He’s actually talking, scoffing, the whole nine yards. I... I almost can't believe it myself.’
 
‘But yeah, he’s finally back from whatever trip he took.’
 
‘There’s still a lot of progress needed but he’s beginning that climb. He’s stumbling to be sure, and there are days when he falls completely but… he’s trying.’
 
‘You’d be proud, Princess.’
 
‘You’d be proud of him.’
 
Applejack stared from the note to the tired princess, the mystery behind her tears and smile now solved.
 
>Ah’m… happy fer’ ya, Celly. You've had a rough time of it, that’s fer’ sure. So y’all go on and rest….
 
Applejack tucked the precious note under Celestia’s hoof with a tender smile, watching as she subconsciously curled around it, her tail swishing. It was a scene worth a few more moments admiration, then she turned to leave.
 
>Ah’ll take it from here. Sleep all day if’n ya gotta, dream good, be happy. Ah got yer’ back.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Pinkie"
'Luna'
[Sombra]
~~~~~
 
>So, this moon place... it's magic, I get that, but...
 
'Oh, what now?'
 
>How can we hear each other?
 
'Same way we do back home?'
 
>...So I can take off this suit and breath fine?
 
'What!? No!'
 
>But you just said-
 
'What does air have to do with anything!?'
 
>...Ahhhhh...
 
[What? She has a legitimate question.]
 
"...Uh, Shiny? Thousand years old. Don't think they've brushed up too hard on the physics."
 
[What? Admittedly, I've spent most of my time trying to get my body back, and less on the sciences, but I don't think I missed anything too major.]
 
'Us either! Tis obvious thou art playing a trick!'
 
>Okay... let me explain it to you like this. When you 'hear' me back on solid ground, you aren't hearing ME. My voice sends vibrations through the air, which your eardrums pick up. No air, no vibrations.
 
'Then how could we hear you now?'
 
>You see the problem?
 
'We see you are wrong. Checkmate, Shining Armor! Thou art our lesser!'
 
"Was tipping your crown really necessary?"
 
'Tis customary!'
 
[I feel dumber, for some reason.]
 
>Welcome to every other moment I spend with Chrysalis.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
>Applejack
"Twilight"
~~~~
 
>Hey, Twi? A'hm tryin' ta' see iffin' ya' know where Celestia is hidin', Ah' need ta' ask her...
 
When she had opened the lab, the orange mare expected many things.
 
A gigantic wall of newspaper clippings was not one of them.
 
>Ahhhh... shoot. Can ya' really not wait 'till Shiny gets back a'fore ya' go all nutty again?
 
The alicorn sitting in a big, and rather comfy looking, chair did not turn to her. Instead, she just tapped her hooves together, thoughtfully.
 
"In every single town except for Canterlot, Ponyvill, Appleoosa and the Crystal Empire, there has been a serious, almost comically huge rise in assaults. To the point where it is now at it's least safe in years."
 
>Mmm... kay? Are ya' sayin' Ah' need ta' start handin' out boxin' gloves or somethin'? Cause Pinkie actually suggested that.
 
"The number of murders, robberies, drug trafficking and prostitution, however, has dropped to it's lowest in over a hundred years."
 
>...So is batmare real? Is that what yer' tryin' ta' tell me?...Spike'll be happy.
 
"There have been ten unsolved murders in the last few months, and they were via stabbing or poisoning. None of them showed signs of serious trauma."
 
>Twi, seriously, yer' scarin' the heck outta' me.
 
"...What is she doing?"
 
>Who? Who she?
 
"She's not a hero. She's assaulting guards and citizens with little provocation. So what's her angle?"
 
>Are ya' just gonna sit there or are ya' gonna talk ta' me, instead of at me?
 
"Chitania."
 
A deep, uneasy silence filled the room.
 
>Ah... Twi, you know nobody blames you fer'-
 
"She has not been caught, and is still out there. And she is hurting ponies, and often. As near as I can tell, the drop in crime is a side effect of her going after those who cannot easily go to the guards and robbing them. Likewise, any assault on robbers is due to wrong place, wrong time. Because she is a different pony every time she does this, she has given the illusion that the town is filled with unstoppable ponies who will easily crush them. Through her random antics, she has made them afraid. But never has she directly saved anyone."
 
>Twi-
 
"Never... except for once, possibly."
 
>Possibly?
 
"...This report from the Crystal Empire details one of their trains being taken off the tracks. Not falling, being taken off. By the damage, it was inferred to be the act of a dragon. Despite the severity of the damage, only one fatality was recorded, and her body was lost."
 
>So... did ya' ask anyone from the train what happened.
 
"None were conscious... allegedly..."
 
>Allegedly?
 
"...I need to go see someone. Now."
 
>Twi, now hold up, ya' can't just be rushin' off like that! Ya' know what happened last time!
 
Even Applejack couldn't hide the wince at the look of shame on Twilight's face.
 
>Ah' didn't mean it like tha-
 
"No. You're right... I need backup."
 
>...Please don't bring the bug monster.
 
Owlishly, Twilight blinked.
 
"...Was actually thinking Spike and Rainbow Dash."
 
>...OH! Oh, yeah, that sounds smart.
 
"...She's not that bad."
 
>...
 
"...You just took, like my whole dramatic flair by the way."
 
>Twi, be honest. Did ya'll practice this?
 
"..........TO THE TWILIGHT-MOBILE!"
 
>Don't ya'll ignore me.
 
"AWAY!"
 
>Why Dash anyway?
 
"Oh... I have my reasons...."
 
>Evil smile ain't workin'.
 
"DAMN IT APPLEJACK! LET ME HAVE THIS!"
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Deep deep within the confines of the Canterlot dungeon, a single solitary changeling sits. Alone...allll alone...
 
Once again, he makes sure that he is, in fact, all alone.
 
Nobody.
 
"Okay guys, a one and a two and a..."
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed-hUoeHcz0
 
"Infiltrator extraordinaire
"Thirty Two! Thirty Two!
"Changes forms without a care
"Thirty Two! Thirty Two!
"Sits here in a prison cell
"Thirty Two! Thirty Two!
"Thinks Chrysalis can go to hell
"Thirty Two! Thirty Two!
"His mind is overloading!
"His future is foreboding!
"When it comes to friends he has but few!
"Thirty Two! Thirty Two!
"Check out this little changeling
"Pure loyalty he gave
"To a certain Queen Bitch
"That threw him in a cave!
"He came back out as Zhetri Tuulh
"Tried to kill her mighty quick
"Now he's locked in solitary
" 'cause he's a lunatic!
"He paces in a tiny room
"Thirty Two! Tiramisu!
"Awaits a swiftly coming doom
"Thirty Two! Cow goes moo!
"Pals around with a rock and roach
"Thirty Tee! Thirty Too!
"Until he hears someone approach
"Thirty Me! Thirty You!
"In his kinda situation
"Just what good is frustration?
" 'til then he'll find more songs to do
"Thirty Two! Thirty Two!
"Ohhhh-
 
"THIRTY TWO!"
 
The singing changeling freezes mid heroic pose and sloooowly looks down at the small changeling holding a bag of marchmalleys.
 
"...you heard all of that didn't you?"
 
"Nope, just the last bit when you ran outta rhymes!"
 
"Well, good, I think if you heard...certain parts of that every person in a one hundred mile radius would have destroyed me."
 
"Want some marchmalleys?"
 
"Oh yes, very much."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Spike
"32"
~~~
"Ah, if it isn't the vigilante."
 
>Actually, I am government sanctioned. Mostly. But, on the note of vigilantes, I brought you some entertainment to pass the time.
 
"Comic books... Lovely."
 
>Well, Twilight's not parting with any of hers at the moment. I also brought you some more music to listen to and a videogame. Oh, and, I wouldn't advise reading the Rebooted Power Ponies stuff unless you're really desperate.
 
"Bah, how bad could it-"
 
Much later, after Spike has left...
 
"-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU! THIS IS TRITE! A TRAVESTY AGAINST LITERATURE AND ART! That's it! If I ever get out of here, I am killing the people responsible for this! Then Chrysalis."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Screwloose
 
As the madpony sat at the floor of her cell, scribbling furiously with a crayon at one corner of a sheet of paper, her ears twitched and swiveled wildly, scanning in an all-too-methodic manner for any hooffalls or muffled mumblings. Rocking back and forth as she colored, she casually slammed her head against the door, the only relatively hard surface in her pillow-lined room, and counted the seconds, between each one giving a hearty chuckle of
>"Three! Ah ah ah! Four! Ah ah ah!"
 
When she'd reached 15 with no sign of an orderly, the psychopony rolled herself via cartwheel around the room, eventually settling near a half-assembled collection of junk. To the average laypony, the only thing to be made out of a discarded vacuum cleaner, extra lengths of pipe, an obliterated baby grand piano, and a roll of duct tape was what lay before the bib-wearing lass now: a collection of junk.
 
Screwloose, however, was not an average pony. By any standard.
 
As the calliope hummed to life, she flailed wildly on the keys, her random mashings not recognizable as tuning to anyone who hadn't developed a skill for multitonal adjustment (which, to her knowledge, narrowed it down to just her then). Still no visitors from the psych ward's main station. The last few weeks of acting had paid off, it seemed. Giggling with a pitch that rose and fell melodiously, she struck a few notes that brought her straining cacophony to a harmonious resolution, closing her eyes as she hammered out a tune... you might hear at the circus...
 
>When the world is full of care and every headline screams "dispair!" When all is rape, starvation, war, and life is vile...
 
Her head rolled dangerously as her whole body swayed, the mare looking upside down at the newspaper clippings that she'd plastered against the opposite wall as one back hoof hammered the "repeat" pedal. Flopping onto her back, she continued,
 
>There's a certain thing I do, that I'll just pass along to you, it's always guaranteed to make me smile:
 
And smile she did, as a mirthless grin split her face like a hatchet, making a little paper angel in the floor of her cell as the calliope continued its jaunty but dark little tune.
 
>I go loo-oo-oony! As a lightbulb-battered bug! Simply loo-oo-oony! Sometimes foam and chew the rug...!
 
Hopping up, she skipped about on her hind legs, hooves kicking up papers as she bounced erratically around her palatial prison.
 
>Life is swell in a padded cell, it'll chase those blues away...
 
Her skipping brought her to the door, which she blithely slammed into full-body, the momentum pushing her back with enough force that when she landed on the softened floor, she could use the force to backflip to her hooves once more.
 
>You can trade your gloom for a rubber room, and injections twice a day!
 
>Just go loo-oo-ooney, as an acid casualty, or a moo-oo-nie, or a preacher on TV!
 
The blue-maned pony picked up one of the red-cornered papers she'd colored upon, reading it and giggling at the idea she'd managed to convince Fawntaine to fund such a ridiculous notion as a projection broadcast system.
 
>When our equine race wears an anxious face, and the bomb hangs overhead; when your kid turns blue, it won't worry you: you'll just smile and nod instead!
 
She didn't bother to glance at the downturned photo of a stallion and filly, they were a distraction not worth much of her valuable time. Not nearly so much as her self-composed ditty was.
 
>'Cause when you're loo-oo-ooney... well you just don't give a fig...
 
She stole a glance at her latest notion, contemplating the implications of amplified dragon teleportation fire in the use of explosives... now there's an idea worthy of showing the world. Her glee at the idea of it coming to fruition was too much, and she rolled to her back and kicked wildly in excitement
 
>We're so puu-uu-ny... and the universe so big...
 
The calliope stuttered to a stop as the hose connecting the device to the vacuum came loose from one of her kicks, leaving her room almost eerily quiet. When the carnival round died, so did her smile, the silence seeming to flood in from the corners she'd banished it to and leaving her cell almost oppressively quiet. Except for her half-sung, half-muttered tune.
 
>If you hurt inside, get certified.
 
>and if life should treat you bad?
 
One of her lips turned up, no longer a smile but a smirk.
 
>Don't get ee-ee-ee-eeven.
 
Her eyes crossed and she wrapped herself in a warm hug that wouldn't look out of place were she wearing a straight jacket. The orderlies would be by in 10 minutes or so for their rounds, and she had to be in character.
 
>Get... mad!
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHzlfcxzdjo
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
“Sombra”
'Pinkie Pie'
+Luna+
 
~~~~~
 
>Woah.
 
'...Pretty.'
 
“...Utterly magnificent.”
 
Before them, floating all around the room were constellations they had never seen before. Patterns and shapes kept together with magic and strings of star dust.
 
+Thank you... I was always designing better and brighter shapes... Hoping someone might look out and appreciate them. I had so many of them planned. The stars have been frozen in place for a thousand years... Never changing. The night must have been so boring to look at.+
 
>These really are beautiful... Are you going to put them in the sky?
 
+... No... I think not. These are old patterns, based on heroes and deeds from ages long past... no one would know there significance besides Celestia, Discord, Sombra and I... Though Twilight might know a few.+
 
'...so no one besides us are ever going to see them? That's kinda sad.'
 
“Indeed... It seems almost... wasteful.”
 
>Are you really just going to throw them away?
 
+No, they shall remain here, in this room. Like most of the things here, they have no place in this world now. Let us go.+
 
With one last look the group left.
 
A moment later however, the stars started to burn angrily as a shadow crept in soon after.
 
-Yes... hurry... It is almost time...-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Screw Loose
“Help”
~~~~~
 
Damn.
 
Damn, damn, triple damn.
 
She hadn’t expected that meeting with Pennydrop to rile her up like it did. She didn’t expect it to dredge up such long forgotten memories. The smell of beakers, the shine of autopsy tables, the glint of scalpels and forceps, that adorable whine of deadly machinery churning to life and the feel of her pristine lab coat hugging her body in all the right ways… she missed it all like a murderer missed their favorite brand of knife.
 
Speaking of, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone without a straightjacket. The one strapped to her currently was rib-crushingly comfy, but the loss of her hooves meant learning how to make adequate substitutes out of her hindlegs.
 
Not that it mattered now.
 
>Because as I lie upon my bed and think, of all the times I wasted ink… penned down schematics both glorious and grand… I CAN’T STAND THE FACT THAT THOSE FUCKERS HAVE MY PLAAAANS!
 
Thankfully, when she began to scream and thrash about, it was confined to the limits of her room. And to the security camera aimed directly at her from one of the corners.
 
>RAGE-FILLED BUNNIES TAPDANCE OVER THE BLOOD-DRENCHED BONES OF A THOUSAND DEATH DIAMOND DOGS WHILE I USE MY HANDY-DANDY SERRATED BLADE TO CASTRATE A HOG! AAAAAAAAAAAH!
 
That did it. As her blood-curdling wail reached a crescendo and began to taper off, that all-too-familiar sound of hastily clopping hooves met her ears.
 
Her smirk couldn’t have been any more clown-like when the door was flung open with ground-rumbling force, almost enough to upset her delicately balanced house of cards. But she doubted very much if the two stallions now slowly entering even cared.
 
>Why hello, boys! Come to wrestle with little ol’ me?
 
“C’mere, you!”
 
And so the wrestling commenced. Well, it was more like a jester bouncing out of the grasp of guards than anything, but eventually one of the help managed to jam a needle into her thigh and push the plunger.
 
>Mmmmm, momma likes it when you get rough~.
 
She felt the sedative enter her bloodstream and struggle valiantly to render her unconscious but being the hospital’s most exemplary psycho, and having been subject to that particular strand hundreds of times in the past, she’d built up quite an immunity to the effects.
 
Though that didn’t stop her from putting all those wonderful years of acting to good use as she went limp, falling like a sack of potatoes to the padded floor.
 
One of the stallions spit off to the side.
 
“Crazy bitch… popped me in the mouth, ow. How in the hell is she so mobile in a straightjacket?”
 
The other help, much older than the first, just sighed as he began fiddling with her restraints.
 
“Thaaaat’s right, you’re the new guy. Should’ve known, the new ones always get tagged once or twice. Well, new guy, learn this and learn it quick. This here’s Screwloose, veteran psycho, legendary enigma, and accomplished in the areas of insomnia and dementia. What you just jabbed her with was filled with enough sleep juice to put Princess Celestia herself down for a long nap. But to her? To Screwloose? She’ll be up in less than two hours. Which means we’ve got to move quick. Grab that end there, she’s heavier than she looks.”
 
“Ufff, h-holy shit, you weren’t lying… freaking heavy ass mare. But where are we taking her?”
 
“Daily catscan.”
 
“On this nutjob?”
 
“This nutjob has an IQ that’s twice mine. And thrice yours, rookie.”
 
“…So why did we knock this ‘genius’ out, thereby making her a verifiable boulder, when we could have just walked her there?”
 
 
“Yup, definitely new. See, Screwloose is too volatile to be transported while conscious. Last time it happened, she took out half the staff and incited a mass riot.”
 
“Damn….”
 
“Yeah, damn. And the funny part is… she didn’t even escape. She waltzed right into Nurse Redheart’s office, sat down with a bowl of jell-o, and waited. Watching the chaos happen….”
 
“So she is mental.”
 
“No. She’s insane. There’s a difference there that’ll cost you your life if you don’t figure it out. And watch your end, it’s slouching.”
 
As the latches to her straightjacket fell away and Screwloose managed to inhale a full lungs worth of air for the first time in months, she couldn’t help but feel all a titter on the inside. She had no idea she had built up such a legacy amongst the help!
 
They lugged her into the hall like she was a freshly downed oak tree, complete with all the insulting grunts and groans and complaints.
 
>Talk about a bunch of useless colts. All this whining and moaning, just goes to show you two milksops can’t handle a mare like me.
 
Time eternal might have left the hall for how still and quiet it suddenly became. Both helpers froze, but Screwloose alone smiled.
 
>Oh, and by the way? That jab to my thigh? Momma always gives as good as she gets, boys.
 
“CELESTIA DAMN IT, GET HER!”
 
The differences between a straightjacket Screwloose and a non-straightjacket Screwloose were like night and day. With only two operable legs, she was dangerous. But with all four at her disposal, she was downright deadly. Deadly enough to stick a needle usually reserved for her into each of her chaperones throats.
 
Except when they dropped, they weren’t faking it. Although, if they were, she’d have to commend them for making the foaming look believable.
 
>Now then! Let’s see, let’s see… escape… or dance back into my room and set these two bozo’s up for a tea party? Escape, or tea? Mmmmm, decisions, decisions….
 
As she contemplated both options, she lazily plopped her rear down on the face of the younger one and merely sighed.
 
>Ooooo, all that cute frothing, it’s like a bidet~...
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________