> You have faced down demons ten times your size and felt nothing
> Yet this small pink p0ny, barely half your height, and probably not a third of your weight...
> Has sent a chill down your back, which you know only as fear.
> Okay, either the beholder, the portal, or the fall must have done something, there is no logical explanation for this.
> That fact alone...
> It's unacceptable...
> Impossible...
> To Khyber with this.
"No"
 
> Her expression drops slightly further, but her tone has dropped all subtlety.
> "Eat. The. Cupcake"
> It's like shes an avatar of The Fury.
> You honestly wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly grew demonic appendages.
> This is not a p0ny.
> This is an incarnation of passion driven to it's logical extreme.
> You're doomed.
> But you do not waiver.
> Not like you have a choice at this point.
"No"
 
> Her eyes just narrow at you.
> You see where this is going and start to back towards the door.
> Not taking your eyes off her this time.
"I hate to be rude, but I really should get going"
> You have nowhere to go, but getting out of here until Pinkie Pie cools down seems like the best course of action.
> You really do hate how rude this must seem but you honestly can't eat, and explaining that would take too long.
> At least when shes that far gone.
> Still you'll be doubly sure to apologize.
> After all she seemed to have good intentions.
 
> These thoughts are interrupted as pinkie literally disappears in a puff of smoke in front of you.
> You take this opportunity to about heel turn and get out while you can.
> And turn straight into Pinkie pie.
> Well sort of, you turn into a cannon being leveled off at your face, it just happens to be Pinkie operating said cannon.
> WAIT WHAT.
> Before you could possibly react, she fires at you.
> The resulting blast coats you in something and sends you hurtling through the counter.
> What is with these p0nies and sending you flying?
> Honestly you weigh like six-hundred pounds, they should have a hard time getting you to budge, let alone throwing you.
> And what in Khyber are you covered in?
> You wipe your eyes clear and take a look at what you are now covered in.
> Is that... blue frosting and... bits of cupcake?
 
> Did she try to kill you with a giant blue cupcake?
> By the Sovreighn Host, theres frosting everywhere!
> You jump back on to your feet.
> You look around the shop for Pinkie, only to find you don't need to look far, shes right in front of you on the ruins of the counter.
> She's back to her manic grin.
> You're still staring with the ever-unchanging face of yours.
> "Weeeeeellllll?"
"Pardon"
> "What'd you think of the cupcake!?"
> Are you kidding?
> She tried to make you eat a cupcake via CANNON.
 
> Yep she's insane.