Part 26 Back to Basic
 
HEY FUCKWADS! GET YOUR ASSES OUTSIDE AND FORM UP!
>The four guards look slightly put off. Mayor Mare, however, looks absolutely terrified
>”Sir, are you-“
I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T FORM UP I WILL RIP YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF! MOVE IT NOW!
>That gets them into gear, as they sprint out the door
>You glance over to the mayor
Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare you.
>Poor thing looks like she might have a heart attack
>”What was all that for?”
Ma’am, I have taken it upon myself to train Lucky, Star Shine, Blazin’ Blue, and Lightening Strike the way I was trained. It will not be pleasant, but I promise it will turn them into the soldiers Equestria needs.
>Without another word, you leave
>Outside, there’s SO MANY PONIES that are watching what just happened
>Like good little recruits, your four guards are lined up
>”Sir, a-“
HOLY SHIT TRAINEE! DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?
>”No s-“
WHEN YOU ADDRESS ME, YOU WILL SAY “SIR, TRAINEE YOUR-NAME-HERE REPORTS AS ORDERED! GOT THAT?
>They nod
I COULDN’T HEAR THAT!
>”YES SIR!”
GOOD! RIGHT FACE!
>They actually did a good facing movement...
FORWARD, HARCH!
>Your small formation takes off, startling the onlookers
>Oh, ALL THOSE PONIES are going to be a nuisance
>You direct your voice at the civilians
MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!
>They parted, making a path for you and your squad
>Onwards to Sweet Apple Acres…
YOU TRAINEES LIKE TO SING?
>”NO SIR!”
TOO BAD! I FANCY MYSELF AN OPERA SINGER! Double time, HARCH!
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT1br6KbpKA&feature=relmfu
>They sing the Jodie with you more enthusiastically than you expected
>Those damn civilians, they’re following you
>No matter, they’ll tire out soon enough…
 
>When you arrive to Sweet Apple Acres, you’re pleased to find that no pony had kept up with you or your squad
>Almost sundown, and you still have to tell them the pecking order
QUICK TIME, HARCH! Flight, HALT! Right, FACE!
>Looking at their faces, you can tell they were not expecting this at all
>They’re tired too, and voices hoarse
Do ANY of you MAGGOTS know why you are here?
>No one answers. Either due to an unwillingness to answer, or to fatigue, you don’t know
>But no answer is unacceptable
Everyone drop NOW!
>As they start to do pushups, you walk up to them
>Bonding with them was a mistake. They know you as a hero, but more so as just one of the guys.
>Time to break those bonds and forge new ones
I expect EVERY one of you to respect the authority Princess Celestia has given me! No question I ask will be left UNANSWERED! Every command I give WILL BE OBEYED! If I instruct you on something, you WILL do it EXACTLY as I said! Refusal to do so will be considered insubordination! Insubordination will NOT be tolerated! Imperfection will NOT be tolerated! FUCKING SILENCE AFTER I ASK A QUESTION WILL NOT BE FUCKING TOLERATED!! UNDERSTAND?
>”SIR YES SIR!”
DON’T GIVE ME A SIR SANDWICH! UNDERSTAND?
>”YES SIR!”
>Good, they’re learning.
Everyone up.
>They slowly half-ass getting up. Unacceptable
Everyone down!
>The pain in their eyes reminds you of, well, you.  Your first day at BMT… but that was long ago, and you’re emulating your MTI, TSgt… or SSgt…
>Shit. You forgot who trained you. But you’re doing your best to imitate them, from what little you can remember.
>Now, do you not remember because it was a long time ago, or because it was part of your amnesia coming here?
>Not the time, brain…
I EXPECT immediate results when I give you a command! UNDERSTAND?
>”YES SIR!”
Everyone up.
>Now they get up hurriedly. That’s more like it.
Like I said before, does anyone know why you’re here?
>”NO SIR!”
I’ll tell you all why. It’s because you all SUCK! You all know what happened yesterday! I charged in the chapel, ready to face that BITCH, but I was ALL ALONE! EVERY AIRMAN NEEDS HIS WINGMEN, and loss of even a single airman is UNACCEPTABLE! From now on, Blazin’ Blue, you are Lucky’s wingman, and vice versa! Same for Lightning Strike and Star Shine!
>You pause... hoping that they’ve learned anything
>”YES SIR!”
>Good.
 I asked Captain Shining Armor, my superior officer, for THE BEST Equestria has to offer. I’m stuck with the MAGGOTS who ABANDONED ME! You are lower than worms! You are lower than the dirt you stand on! I will be harsh, you will not LIKE ME. I am HARSH, but I am fair! I will tear you down and build you back up! I will mold you into soldiers Princess Celestia will be proud of! I will make you into fighters I CAN BE PROUD OF! You will be the soldiers Equestria needs, but until that time you are worthless to me, to Princess Celestia, and to Captain Shining Armor! Understood?
>”YES SIR!”
Failure is NOT AN OPTION! I will NOT let ANYONE fail! Understood?
>”YES SIR!”
>You turn to see an orange blur in the distance running towards you
>That reminds you…
I will not be your only instructor for the next 12 weeks, but whatever instructor you have, you WILL give the same customs and courtesies you give to me! UNDERSTOOD?
>”YES SIR!”
Good!
>You turn to greet Applejack as she runs up to you
>At the same time, you watch out the corner of your eye to see if any of them dare to move at all
>Nope, they’re all scared senseless
>Being a TI would be fun, if they weren’t your buddies
>Focus
Hey Applejack
>”Howdy Anon! These them recruits you were talkin’ ‘bout?”
They sure are. Would you mind showing them to their sleeping quarters?
>”O’ course! Howdy ya’ll! Anon here has asked me to help take care of all ya. Ya’ll’ll stay in the barn fer the next 12 weeks.
>You eye them, begging one of them to break bearing
>Come on…there’s always one that fucks everyone…
>No? Well, ok.
>They’re no fun…wait, whose side are you on?
>Theirs, of course
>”If’n ya’ll follow me, we’ll get ya settled in.”
>She walks towards the barn. None of your trainees breaks rank to follow her
>They’d be wrong if they had moved, because you hadn’t dismissed them
>But they’re wrong because they aren’t following her instructions
WHAT ARE YOU STANDING HERE FOR? IT’S IMPOLITE TO HAVE A LADY WAIT FOR YOU! MOVE!
>You hate being an asshole, you really do. But it’s for their sake. They won’t learn the right way if you’re not.
GO TO BED AS SOON AS YOU CAN, BECAUSE WE’RE GETTING UP BEFORE THE SUN TOMORROW! AND I BETTER SEE ALL FOUR OF YOU, OR SO HELP ME I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR THROAT!
>Oh wow, they’re scurrying the hell away from you.
>It seems you’ve been successful in instilling the fear of God in them.
>Turning around, you walk back into town with the intention of visiting a certain librarian…
 
>It doesn’t take you as long as you thought it would to get back to town.
>The sun had come down, but that’s ok
>Twilight should be expecting you
>Speaking of which…
>2014
>Pretty early, but you don’t think she’d mind
>The light is still on in her tree house
>Well, it is still pretty early, no reason she’d be in bed already
>You knock on the door
>There’s an audible rush to the door, and it swings open wildly, revealing that special purple unicorn
>”Hey, Anon.”
Hey, Twilight.
>She jumps into your arms and you embrace her, giving a small peck
>Spike sticks out his tongue and points to his mouth
>Funny. Not too long ago, he had been disgusted with you when you upset Twilight Sparkle on your first “date”
>Not that you didn’t deserve it, hell you still deserve some shit from that
>But now he’s disgusted that you’re with her and giving PDA…
>Kids, man, they’re funny as hell.
>You don’t mind though, because you have Twilight, and she’s giving you DEM EYES
>”Hungry?”
Actually, yes.
>Spike goes upstairs, yelling “Goodnight!”
>”Goodnight Spike.”
>She turns back to you, jumping out of your embrace. “I’ve got some salad ready.”
That’s perfect.
>You sit down at the table, watching her disappear in the kitchen
>No sooner had she left your sight than she returned, using her magic to levitate a couple of bowls with salad, and a candle
>Setting everything down, she lit the candle and turned off the lights
>Getting a bit romantic, isn’t she?
>But you don’t mind
>Though you’re starving and this salad probably won’t do, you thank her for the food and start eating with your best etiquette
>Silence fills the tree house as you both eat
>Then…
>”You were a bit rough with your recruits. Was all the yelling necessary?”
>You smirk
Of course it was. And will be until they’re trained. You see, in order to be seen as the trainer in their eyes, I have to be intimidating. I have to scare them. I don’t like it, but they need to know that bad stuff will happen if they don’t listen to me.
>”This training you talk about…why now? I’m sure they’ve been through some sort of guard training.”
They probably have. But after seeing how easily Canterlot fell, I can’t help but feel that their training didn’t prepare them for combat. You see, your brother is the single point of failure for the guards: if he’s unable to do his job, the rest of the guards are useless. And now we know that it’s possible that Shining Armor can fail…moreover, we know that despite my training, I can fail. I thought about it, and I think if something like that were to happen again, if there were more intensely trained guards, that invasion would not have succeeded.
>”How do you figure that?”
Easy. The changeling queen herself focused on me completely, remember? I distracted her long enough to allow you to free Cadance, who in turn helped Shining Armor cast his spell. Not that I planned it that way, but if there were more of me, we could have taken her out.
>”Interesting. I’d like to view your training methods in more detail, if you’d let me.”
Of course, but I’ll warn you, it might be brutal to watch.
>Looking in her eyes, you stop thinking about the topic at hand...
>The two of you just stare into the other’s eyes, over candlelight
>You lose all desire to speak, and you’re no longer hungry
>Her eyes seem to hypnotize you. It’s almost magical…
>You jerk back, realizing the important thing you wanted to say.
>It better be good. You just ruined a moment with Twilight
Princess Celestia said there was an aura around me when I entered the chapel. Did you notice anything like that?
>A puzzled look appeared on her face. “Of course I did. There’s no mistaking a black aura. You were clearly using some magic. I’d seen you with it before, with the diamond dogs. I thought it was some sort of airman ability?”
Huh?
>”I’ve read about how some ancient warrior unicorns, long before Equestria was founded, used their magic to bring out their ‘fighting spirit.’ It had no real effect, other than intimidating their enemies.”
>You turn your head on its side. Waaat
>”Judging by your reaction though, you had no idea you were doing something like that, right?”
>You snap out of it
Yeah, magic isn’t something that humans can do.
>”Hmmmmm.”
>She’s lost in deep thought
>”I got it! Let’s say that you arrived here by magic.”
That would make as much sense as any other explanation. Go on.
>”If that’s the case, maybe some of the magic bonded with you. Maybe you can learn how to use magic!”
That would be interesting. One question though. Does magic work by itself?
>”No, it never does. There has to be somepony who uses it. It’s a natural force that unicorns, and a few other beings, can use to manipulate the world around us. When a unicorn, like me, isn’t using magic, it’s just around us like the air. It’s what makes the world so wonderful.”
So if that’s the case, I wonder who summoned me, and why?
>”That is a good question.”
I don’t want to know. All I need to know is that I have a better home now.
>She smiles.
Would you teach me to try to use magic?
>”Yes, if you’re willing to show me the magic of love.”
>God damnit Twilight, that’s too cheesy, even for you.
>For some reason, you feel like having some spaghetti
>Damn those strange cravings
>Getting up, you walk to her and embrace her
I will.
>Seeing her blush, you quickly kiss her
>”W-want to…go…t-to bed?”
Yeah, I’d like that. One problem though.
>”What’s that?”
Your bed is too small for me.
>”Oh, right…”
You can spend the night at my house, if you don’t mind.
>She considers it
>And considers it
>Damn it Twilight will you make up your mind?
>”I think Spike will be fine by himself tonight. I’ll spend the night at your home, Anon.”
>Quietly, you both go outside and walk to your house
>Someone has clearly been inside, as you can make out in the shadows that there are some additions to your home
>Better not be a surprise party
>Turning on a light, you’re pleasantly surprised to find that there are gifts of appreciation. Flowers, cards, and the like
>Certainly, the town loves you. There might be a party sometime else, but not tonight
>How they managed to bring in all this stuff between you writing your letter to Princess Celestia and now, you had no idea.
>But you stop thinking about it. You have a lady to take care of.
>Walking upstairs, the first thing you do is undress to your undershirt and boxers. Then you go through your evening routine
>Brush teeth, use toilet, wash face
>Twilight does whatever she does in the evening when you step out of the bathroom
>Though you didn’t do much today really, you’re actually pretty tired
>Lying on your bed, you can’t help but realize how those ponies probably had to custom make this bed for you
>Twilight Sparkle suddenly teleports onto you, shocking you
>She gives you a look with DEM EYES
>You roll onto her, quickly pinning the purple mare
>Rather than looking defeated, she’s actually giving you a look of approval
>Huh. She likes when you’re on top. Saving that for future reference
>You go to work, nipping at her neck
>Her hooves pull you in tight, leaving no room between you and her
>You can feel her heartbeat, her excitement…
>Boner? Check
>Heart beating twice as fast? Check
>Brain?
>Brain?
>BRAIN?
>Don’t do it bro
>Why the fuck not?
>Just…don’t. Not yet.
>Something just nags at you in the back of your mind
>Physically, there’s nothing keeping you from finishing what you started, but that’s only half the equation
>The other half is unwilling…
>Fuck you brain
I’m sorry. I can’t, not tonight.
>She looks up at you. “What’s wrong?”
Nothing.
>Her brow rises
Ok, so it’s not “nothing.” Don’t you think we’re going a bit…fast?
>”What do you mean?”
I mean, how many times have we been on a date?
>She thinks about this
>Come on Twilight, you don’t really need to stop and think every time you’re asked a question
>”Actually, you’re right. We haven’t really been on a date yet.”
Exactly. I want to take it slow. I want to enjoy everything else with you. I want to get to know you better. And in due time, I’m sure it’ll happen. Make sense?
>She gives you a sincere smile. “Yes, you’re right.”
Thanks for understanding.
>In response, she turns and inches closer to you, still wanting your embrace
>Ah, she remembered the horn.
>You’re surprised she took it well
>Very well, in fact.
>You shouldn’t be too surprised; she is a smart mare able to see reason and logic
>With your arms around her, you find yourself able to relax
>Cuddling with her, you slowly drift to sleep