Part 20 On Fire
 
>You wake up, not remembering falling asleep
>No hangover at least, and no nightmares last night, at least that you can remember.
>And you're in a bed. A rather large bed, in an unfamiliar room
>There's no one else around, so you decide to get up
>No rope, no handcuffs, nothing keeping you down. That's always a good sign
>After dressing, you walk down the stairs, and find your stuff still unpacked in the front room
>Oh shit Einstein, you're in your own house
>Ah shit, noise in the kitchen
>You ready yourself on instinct, prepared to fight
>Quickly you jump through the door and
>Damnit Derpy.
>"Good Morning Anon!"
Good morning Derpy.
>You notice a bowl in her hooves
What are you making?
>"Muffins!"
>Well, breakfast is taken care of
Where's the Doctor?
>"He's on the couch in the other room, reading a book."
>Damn, what time is it?
>Timecheck: 0800
>Holy shit
>Doctor Whooves is hardcore
>He'll wake up early and read after a night of drunken debauchery
>As you approach him, he looks up from his book
>"Good morning Anon. I hope you're feeling well. Have you had breakfast yet?"
No, not yet. Derpy hasn't finished making muffins yet.
>"Ah, well, be sure to have a few muffins. They're not as good as the ones in Sugarcube Corner, but there's hardly a difference."
I'll be sure to get a couple.
>As you turn, he continues to talk. "Don't think I've forgotten. We're going to talk about last night."
>Shit
>That was a talk you really didn't want to have, not even from your bro
Funny story about that
>He looks at you suspiciously
>"Go on..."
>Inching your way closer to the front door, you continue talking.
You see, I kinda remember something in my SERE training
>"And what would that be?"
I remember excelling at a particular part of the training...
>He raises an eyebrow. "Where's this going?"
>You're at the door. As you open it, you shout
Evasion and Escape!
>Catching a glimpse at his face, you save the look for later
>For now though, RUNNING
>You run and take cover in a bush, and only moments later, you see the Doctor running right past you
>Hahaha, Anon 9001, Doctor Whooves 8999. The look on his face was priceless
>"He's over there Doctor!"
>Wut
>Anon 9001, Derpy 9010
>God damnit Derpy, if there ever was a time for you to fly into a building...
>You jump out and run in the opposite direction
>Some ponies walking by wave at you excitedly
>Damnit...gotta go find an isolated place here
>With the Doctor on your tracks, you start running blindly into alleys
>Apparently having two feet makes you more maneuverable, as you lose eyesight of him in a minute and a half
>Good, now to hide in...a dumpster?
>Really? How obvious
>Perhaps too obvious. Maybe he'll discount it as a hiding spot, since there are quite a few here, and he's just trying to catch up now
>Taking your chances, you quickly climb into a dumpster and close the lid
>30 seconds later, you hear something run by you
>Success!
>"Doctor! In that dumpster!"
>NOOOO
>You jump out and see the Doctor about 40 feet away from you
>KEEP FUCKING RUNNING
>You trip
>A fucking tripwire!? Are you shitting me!?
>Before you can get up, the Doctor has you pinned
>What are my options brain?
>1. Surrender
>2. Grapple
>3. Knock his shit
>4. Play dead
>He is your bro...
>Damnit, he was better prepared than you were
>You can't imagine just how prepared he is, but with Derpy flying above and seeing where you are, along with helping with things like a fucking tripwire, he's pretty damn determined
Ok, Doctor Whooves. Let's get this over with
>"You're just going to give up like that?"
Well, you're more determined to catch me than I am determined to run away.
>"Ok."
>You catch him by surprise, lifting him up with ease. You carefully set him down, and grab a C-Note from your pocket
>Sitting against the alley wall, you light up, and wait for him to begin his rant
>"Thank you, Ms. Hooves. Please continue making those muffins, and we'll be back in a few."
>"Yes Doctor!"
>Derpy flies a little uncoordinated back to your house
>If she chooses your house to run into...
>Nope, landed safely
>Whew
>The Doctor walks towards you, and sits next to you
>"Do you know what I'm going to say?"
I have an idea, but please say it anyways.
>He sighs. "Last night, you walked into the bar with Twilight. You asked me to go, so I did, thinking that it would be easier on you. But you also invited her five other friends. And like I said last night, you made a jackass of yourself."
Yeah...
>"Look, it's obvious to everypony. Twilight absolutely loves you. She's always happy around you, and you seem to enjoy being around her as well."
>You cringe.
>"She probably expected last night to have been a date, and you ruined it by inviting her friends. what the hell was that about?"
I...thought maybe, she didn't go out with her friends. I wanted to show her that...she should be more sociable..
>"Are you serious?"
>You analyze what you just said
It's only half right. I really don't see her going out with her friends, but I guess I know she does stuff with the others.
>"So what's wrong with you?"
I...wanted to ignore the signs. I never wanted to be in Twilight Sparkle's heart. I never wanted anyone's affection.
>"Why is that? What's so wrong about it?"
>Now you sigh
The last time I allowed myself love, I got hurt. I got hurt real bad. We were going to get married, but she had an affair.
>You take a drag from your C-Note
I trusted her, but all I got was a knife in my back. What's worse, I was manipulated more than I would ever allow myself to be in a normal situation. I never want to be manipulated again, and I find it easier to avoid it than to fight against it
>He looks at you. "There's got to be more. The Anon I know wouldn't have a pathetic excuse like that. And you know that Twilight would never hurt you like that, so still, why do you hurt her like that?"
You're quite deductive, Doctor. I should've expected this.
>You take another drag
Look, I'm a soldier. I kill, and I'm lucky if I'm not killed. That's fine for me. I'm only living for myself, so it doesn't matter if I die.
>"What about your friends? Me? You don't think we'll care if you die?"
You'll all move on. Friends can be replaced. Love...isn't so easy to replace.
>"There's a saying Anon, and I'm sure you know it. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
I don't know how true that is.
>"I do. Trust me, it's true. So what other excuse do you have?"
>You can't believe you're going to admit this...
I..I'm afraid of myself. I don't remember much about who I am or what I've done. I know I'm reckless, and when I'm fighting, I love it. I love the feeling of killing the enemy, and I'm willing to die while I'm fighting. I'm... scary. I'm a monster. I'm crazy. No person from my world would be thought sane if he took pleasure in taking the lives of others...so I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll fuck up one day. That I won't be able to control myself one day... If I...
>You can't finish. You're shaking, and expect the Doctor to be creeped out
>Looking over, you see he's unfazed.
>"Anon, listen to me. You have issues, and you've done the right thing in admitting it. You're far from crazy. For soldiers, I'd imagine that it would be normal, to a degree, for one to enjoy the fight, and 'get into it.' But you don't feel the same when the fight is over, correct?"
No... I feel some remorse, especially when I end up in the hospital and my friends are visiting.
>"Right. You get caught up in the moment. And don't worry about those memories. You are who you are right now, not what you might have been on your homeworld."
>You look up, and see his hoof hanging out
>Not leaving him hanging, you give him a brohoof, and stand.
>You feel a bit better, but also more confused. Damn your indecisiveness
>You're still a soldier, and you've always been proud of your professionalism when on the job
>About the only time you weren't a professional was when you had some-
>So...What about Twilight?
>"What do you plan on doing now?"
I'm going to take a shower and wash my uniform. And I've got some thinking to do.
>"Ok. Please make the right decision."
>It almost seems like you're cutting through time
>The first minute, you're walking home, the next, you've got soap all over you. Then your uniform is being dried.
>Let's do the time warp again.
>Or actually, let's not.
>At mid-afternoon, you're lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, and hear a familiar song.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzQvGz6_fvA
>What's the range on that music player?
>Back to business
>How do you feel about Twilight Sparkle?
>I don't know brain
>Neither do I, but you do feel like an asshole for last night, don't you?
>Yeah... I shouldn't have done that.
>How do you feel about Twilight Sparkle?
>I. Don't. Know.
>I think I only see her as a friend, brain. I can't imagine getting with her and...well..having relations with a pony
>That's bordering on bestiality
>But no one will judge you, and they're very human-like, you can't say they aren't.
>Yeah...but I don't know. It might ruin what we already have, and what's worse, I might ruin my friendship with the other girls.
>What? Explain
>If, hypothetically, Twi and I were in a relationship and we broke up, how would that change our friendships with the other five?
>Don't give a pussy reason like that
>Sigh, fine. In any event... I just don't know.
>Fuck you
>Fuck me brain? Fuck you. I don't know. Aren't you supposed to know everything about me?
>Well...
>That's right douche. You're supposed to already know.
>...
>...
>What do we do now?
>How about YOU start by at least giving her an apology?
>Yeah...
>And then, maybe you explain to her that you're indecisive right now?
>Ok...
>Looking outside, you see the sun is lower than when you last looked
>Better get going then
>Walking to the library, you feel ponies staring at you
>Curse your heroics, you don't have time for that
>Coming up to the house, you knock on the door
>...
>...
>No reply
>Knock again
>Still no reply
>You try the door..and it's open
Twilight? Spike?
>Nobody is home...
>Well this got a bit more difficult
>You can't stay here all night
>Finding a quill and paper, you write down:
>Twilight Sparkle
>I'm sorry for last night.
>It was wrong, especially considering I know how you feel.
>All I can say is, I don't know. If you can, please come by tonight, so we can talk. I won't be here tomorrow, but should be back on Monday.
>Please, let's not wait until Monday. I'll be waiting
>Anon
 
>You head back to your house, and sit in the recliner, thinking.
>And waiting.
>You really hope Twilight Sparkle comes over.
 
End