Part 14 PTSD
 
>Waking up, you see an unfamiliar ceiling
>Great...Another damn hospital
>You ache everwhere, even in places you weren't...beaten
>That's right. It all comes back to you now
>You were tortured for...shit you lost count. You think it was 19 days, but you're not sure
>The room is suddenly filled with noise
>Damnit, you thought you were alone
>The six were all there
>"HEYANON! WE were sosososoSOSO worried about you! Butnowthatyou'rehere we need to PAR-TAY!"
Oh Pinkie, you so crazy
>"Shucks Anon, what did ya do to yerself?
Hey Applejack. You know... stuff.
>"Your uniform is torn beyond repair, and it's a crime against fashion to let you walk around in it! So I'll make a new one, free of charge for you."
Thanks, Rarity. The last one was...fantastic. It worked for what I needed it perfectly.
>"Um...how are you feeling? Do you need...something to eat?"
I'm feeling...fine Fluttershy. Though I would appreciate something to eat...but not right now, if you know what I mean.
>She nods. She understands that you don't want to eat meat in front of your friends
>"Hey Anon! You just tell me who did this to you and I'll show 'em who's they're messin' with!"
>Would she still be willing if she knew the truth?
Thanks, Rainbro. But don't worry, they'll get theirs.
>Regardless, you intend to repay those griffons for their kindness...
>"Anon, I...assumed the worst. We all were worried about you..."
>Twilight has tears in her eyes, but she's still overjoyed that you're alive
Yeah, me too...How long has it been?
>"You were gone for twenty five days. When you didn't return, I..."
>Her tears were threatening to spill over
I'm sorry Twilight. But I'm here now.
>25 days? Damn, there were a few days missing. But whatever.
How long have I been sleeping?
>"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH you were asleep for a year!" Pinkie Pie says
>A year. Huh.
>A YEAR?
>"Pinkie, he's only been out for a few hours."
>Thanks Twilight. Because I was going to flip shit if I was in a fucking coma
Not that I don't want to catch up with you all, but where is Princess Celestia?
>"I'm right here, Anon."
>Shit. She was there the whole time
>Your lazy ass couldn't move to see her there
Princess? I...
>You try to salute
>What happens instead is that you weakly lift your arm, only for it to fall
>Salute.exe has failed to start. Try again? (Y/N)
>(Y)
>Same thing
>Salute.exe has aborted it's script. Restart? (Y/N)
>"Rest, Anon. I have business to take care of. I'll be back in about an hour. In the mean time, please catch up with your friends."
>A smile reassures you everything is well
>Or so you'd like to think
>For the time being, you decide to take the Princess's advice
>You begin to socialize with your best friends
>Everyone had apparently missed you, though they knew you were on some sort of job
>All of them thought it took much longer than you thought it would... Reminded them of something AJ did one time, where she took on a job by herself...
>All of them, except Twilight
>She knows
>She doesn't know the details, but she knows why you're hurt
>Seeing the conflict in her eyes, it unsettles you
>You see it in her eyes that she doesn't understand why Princess Celestia would send you on a "job" that might hurt you so badly.
>Shit this is tough
>You've been through some tough shit
>They don't even know, but if they did...how would they see you?
>Because of you, a good stallion died
>Before that, he suffered starvation and psychological torture
>His family was never going to see him again
>Wait, there were two more stallions, who were pulling the carriage... What happened to them?
>Oh God, you don't want to think about it, but your mind won't let it go
>"Anon, are you ok?"
>You suddenly start shaking
>Tears in your eyes
>What happened to your tough guy persona?
>No longer are you in control of your body
>You start to scream
>What the hell is going on?
>A doctor runs in with a couple of nurses
>You're held down while the doctor sticks a needle in you
>A sedative. Coool
>Except not enough
>You're no longer shaking, but you're still conscious
>And cannot move
>The doctor suggests that too much excitement caused you to freak out
>He requests that the six leave and let you rest
>They comply, sadly, but overwhelmingly confused as well
>All except Twilight
>She's just extremely troubled, seeing you
>Damn, ponies can be so emotional
>Hey dickwad, what do you call that little spasm back there?
>...shut up brain
>No, what the fuck was that?
>How should I know? You fucking controlled that shit
>...
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEovJYZsiDY&t=0m16s
 
 
>You lay there, unable to do anything
>Even blinking is just too much effort
>You feel like it's been forever....
>But the Sun is still up. In fact, it appears to be late morning
>Just about chowtime
>The door opens, and you're barely able to move your head
>You see that it's Princess Celestia, with another-
>Ah, it's just Shining Armor
>You try to salute again
>Movement.exe requires administrator rights to execute. Your action requires escalation
>...Fuck. Well, at least they'll understand
>They look at each other
>Celestia nods at Shining Armor
>He walks by your bedside
Hey...
>He just looks at you pitifully...
>Uh...
>Your jimmies are starting to rustle
>He gently lifts your head as he grabs your pillow, and fluffs it for you
Ok..that wasn't necessary, but thanks, I guess
>He looks like he's tearing up.
>You look at Celestia. She's looking away
>You definitely don't like the looks of this
Wait a sec-
>Shining armor forces the pillow onto your face, smothering you
>Shit, you need air
>That's kinda a big deal for a living person
>You try to get his hoofs off of you
>Struggle.exe has been disabled. If you experience this problem repeatedly, please contact your local administrator
>SHIT
>EVEN IN EQUESTRIA NOTHING WORKS
>You feel your lungs begging for air
>Helpless, your body gives up on you, but your mind is still processing that you're dying
>FUUUUUUUUUUUU
 
UUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
>Your body bolts up
>Confused, you look around desperately, seeing no one around
>Glancing outside the window, it's the same time as...when they came in...
>You're actually moving
>It hurts badly, but you're moving
>Your eyes were dry as fuck
>You realize you had managed to fall asleep with your eyes open
>Sitting up, you reach for your pockets...
>And realize you're in a hospital gown
>Shit man. You hate these things.
>You call for a nurse, and one runs in almost immediately
Hey, can I get the clothes I was wearing when I got in here? I need to go through my pockets.
>She nods, and runs out the door
>Well, what a dutiful nurse...
>She comes back with it in less than a minute
Thanks a lot. Was there something a friend of mine left?
>"Yes. It's in a bag, but I don't know what it is."
Was it left by Fluttershy?
>"I believe so, yes."
>It's best you don't know what's in that bag
Please bring it in
>She does as you ask, and you quickly dismiss her
>Happy to have helped you, she trots off
>You quickly open the bag, and spot a nice piece of meat
>Looks to be part of a leg of... Well, you don't know
>Seems to be a mid-sized animal
>You don't care. You're going to need all the protein you can get to recover
>The taste is amazing
>Even though it's uncooked, it's fresh enough that you don't care
>In what feels like seconds, you've stripped the bone of all its meat, and put the bone back into the bag
>Hide that bag under your bed for now
>You're full
>The images and feels of that nightmare still haunting you, you search in your pockets
>Please let it still be-
>Yes! Great success
>You pull out your lucky cigarettes and your zippo
>God how you need a few
>You light up, and take a looooong drag from the first one
>And you exhale
>You let the ash fall to the ground
>You were normally a cigar person, but in this case you were willing to make an exception...
>The cigarette is nearly gone
>Shit man, light up another one, quick!
>You shakily follow your brain's orders
>A knock on your door
Come in
>It's Princess Celestia, with...
>Shining Armor
>Jimmies, prepare warp speed
>"Hello Anonymous. How are-"
>She smells the smoke, and sees your harmful activity
>"What is that?"
It's a cigarette. What I'm doing is called "smoking." It's bad for your health
>"Why would you do that then?"
It helps me relax. And I've had one hell of a month, not to mention a nightmare for the ages.
>She opens the window to let some air in
>"What happened in your nightmare?"
I'll tell you some other time Princess. What's going on with Equestria?
>She looks down. Shining Armor speaks for her
>"When you escaped from Griffdon, you led a few of their guards to Canterlot."
Yeah, I remember in the home stretch that they caught up with me.
>"Well, they're reporting that you escaping is proof that you're our spy."
>Shit
>All that lying... all that pain and torture to keep Equestria out of this... all for nothing.
I fucked up.
>"No, you did your duty, and you made a couple mistakes. In fact, we expected you to find a way to escape."
Because of me, Goodwill died
>"He served Equestria well, and when this is all over..."
>He's uncomfortable speaking on the subject
>"We'll give him a memorial"
When "what" is all over?
>He can't continue. Princess Celestia steps in to speak
>"The Griffon Kingdom, taking your refuge in Equestria as proof of your espionage, has declared war on Equestria."
>Your heart sinks
>What did you endure nearly a month of torture for?
>What did Goodwill Wright die for?
I've failed you....
>"No, Anon. I failed you. I set you up for failure. I should have known that the Griffon Kingdom was looking for a reason to start a war with us. And like an idiot, I sent them one."
>You felt some anger start to flare up
Do you know what I went through there?
>Tears start to form in her eyes
>She's in more pain than you thought
>"Hey Anon! The princess deserves better than that!"
>Your anger starts to grow
What about you? Do you know how it feels to see a good pony die right in front of your eyes? Have YOU ever experienced that?
>He's taken aback. "No, but-"
But NOTHING!
>Your voice is rising
I STARVED! I've been BEATEN to within an inch of my life! They tempted me with an early release if I betrayed you, and like the good soldier I am, I refused. I refused to break to the stress they induced. And I WATCHED them ruthlessly kill Goodwill! I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING! Now, his family...
>Now it's your turn to be speechless
>You start sobbing
>And shaking
>Oh fuck no, not right now
>Somehow, you manage to settle your body
>Your tears come now
>Your voice is weak
I'm sorry. I held up as best as I could to prevent this. And I still failed my mission. I'm sorry! I got an innocent pony killed! And I remember that bastard now!
>You hide your face in your hands
I'm sorry Princess! I should've been a better soldier! I-
>"Shhh. You've been through more than I could ever ask from any pony."
>She still looks sad, but seeing that your outburst was a result of your time as a POW and was not a personal attack against her, she's already forgiven you
>"I don't know the ordeal you've been through, but I'm sorry I put there. I am fully responsible for all your injuries, physical and mental."
>Just knowing her regret, you calm down
No, Princess. I'm fine now... Just had to let some stuff out. I'm sorry you were here for that. I don't blame you at all for what happened. It's... normal for a soldier like me to go through some rough...things like that. We don't blame our leadership. We don't blame anything. It's just the nature of the job, and we accept it. Like my friend 2nd Lt. "De" Shizz once told me, "We're servants of our nation. We gave everything up, just to make sure what we have back home stays safe. And though some of us die, we will never forget their memory. All sacrifice some, but some...some sacrifice all."
>Did you just remember another friend?
>Yes, and now that you think of it, the officers you named while you were in captivity weren't fake. They were all people you knew, and felt close to. They were your brothers-in-arms.
>You fall silent. You don't know what happened to your comrades, or even whatever happened to you... but you do miss them. They helped you forget... about your family. About... Ashley. About...was there more?
>You're unsure, but you sure as hell don't want to remember it right now
So, Princess Celestia, what is our next course of action?
>"We must..."
>She really must hate to say it
>Shining Armor steps in again. "We have no choice. We must prepare for war. Equestria is further behind the Griffon Kingdom in terms of warfare. We don't have enough guards, we don't have enough weapons. It's looking to be a terrible time for us if we don't come up with something quick."
>A smile spreads across your face
Princess Celestia, Shining Armor...I think I have just what you might need...
 
END