Part 23 A Canterlot Wedding (PT 1)
 
>Day three of guard detail, 0800
>Only two more days until the wedding
>You were tired of the tower an hour into the detail
>If there was anything worse than just looking down upon the city, it was looking down upon city with a Highlander 2-like shield
>True to Shining Armor's word, the princesses were on top of another tower, looking through a telescope
>Seriously? A telescope?
>Whatever. It kept them busy, and they were on a taller tower
>Their shift seemed to be one consisting mostly of a strict 12 hour rotation
>You noticed that whenever one got off her rotation, she seemed exhausted
>Lightweights. You'd hate to see them pulling your 16 hour shift
>On top of that, there was the very real possibility that you'd be woken up to take a shot
>You watch as Princess Celestia relieves her sister from the watch
>"Good morning Captain!"
>What's so good about it?
Hey, Lucky. Got breakfast?
>"Right here!"
>He brought a bag of donuts and coffee
>The breakfast of champions
>Just what you needed after six hours of sleep
>You tried for eight, you really did, but after half an hour, you realized there was no point in trying
>So you used the latrine in the living quarters and relieved Star Shine
>Lightning Strike was still on shift though, until Lucky showed up
Rest up Lightning. You've earned it.
>"Thanks Captain."
>Ah, the tired "so-fucking happy to be off shift" voice
>You wish you could join him in that attitude
>They were free to leave the tower, as long as they were off shift, but you...you didn't have that luxury
>Lucky brings you the bag of donuts, and you take a couple
>They disappear in a matter of seconds
>"Whoa, Captain. Take it easy."
>You take the thermos and chug the scalding hot coffee.
Quit calling me Captain. We've been up here for a few days, I think we should all just drop the formalities
>"Sir?"
Just because I'm the commanding officer of our little group doesn't mean we can't be informal. Got it?
>"I think so, sir."
If that's true, ask me anything.
>His face contorted, showing that you caught him by surprise. The concept of speaking freely with a superior apparently is also a foreign concept
Come on Lucky, these past three days have gone by too slowly. It's alright to talk a little.
>"Well, ok, since you insist. Why are the First Equestria "Aerial" Regiment? Not all of us can fly, you know."
Has that really bothered you?
>"It has a little, sir."
Well, back on Earth, we had squadrons that flew. I was part of one... I don't quite remember what it was, but we had our own motto and everything. Anyways, not everyone flew in my squadron. We had quite a few members who didn't fly.
>His eyes go derp
>"Sir? Why were they in your squadron then?"
Because, without them, those of us who did fly, couldn't. They took care of our jets, took care of the logistics of flying, and made sure we could do our job. Those of us who were pilots really couldn't afford to have the non-pilots in our squadron.
>"So, where do I fit in then? I don't help anyone here...I'm just an earth stallion."
Right now Lucky, you're helping me keep watch over the castle. If you see something unusual, I'm hoping you'll inform me, because I won't know what's unusual in Canterlot. That's one of my weaknesses. My unfamiliarity with Equestria. Right now, you are my spotter. If I have to fire my rifle, you are the one keeping me from aiming at the wrong target. And that is saying a lot. Do you understand?
>He seemed more confident now
>"Yes Sir!"
That's the spirit!
>Smiling, you look down in time to see a train coming
Look alive Lucky, we have a train incoming!
>He grabbed the telescope-
>WHERE ARE SOME FUCKING BINOCULARS WHEN YOU NEED THEM?!
>Taking your M1, you look through the scope, being careful to keep your finger nowhere near the trigger
>You don't see much detail due to the scope's limits, but you do see a few ponies coming off the train, about five or six
>It's impossible to tell with just the telescopic sight
What do you see?
>"I see six ponies disembarking...and if I'm not mistaken, one of them is Twilight Sparkle."
>A shiver works up your spine. Oh. Shit.
>"Hey, you know her right, Anon?"
Yeah, I do. The rest of them are probably her five best friends.
>"So they're good then?"
Only if you don't see anything unusual.
>"Wait a second, the pink one sneezed...confetti? Uh, sir??"
If it's Pinkie Pie, that's normal
>You sigh, realizing how something like that is normal for her
>That pony breaks physics...no, she breaks what reality there is here
>Oh that's nice, Twilight Sparkle's running to her brother
>She must really miss-
>Why is she yelling at him?
>Come to think of it, you had never seen them together. Was this normal?
>Probably not, they both spoke so highly of each other
>Good thing Shining Armor isn't yelling back at her
>That's something you would've done to your little-
>Stop
>You weren't the best brother all the time...
>STOP
>If only you-
>You grit your teeth and punch the handrail
>"Sir? What's wrong?"
>That did the trick
Nothing anymore. Keep watching them.
>Ok, so she's no longer shouting at him.
>Good, you'd hate to watch that escalate.
>Enter Cadance
>'scue me Twilight, what are you doing?
>She does a little dance...and WAVING her flank in the air
>Like she just don't care
>Cadance isn't amused
>Neither would you be, but then again, Twilight Sparkle might wave her flank at you for another reas-
>What the fuck brain?
>What? You know it. I know it.
>Yeah, but it's unpleasant.
>Hey heart, what say you?
>Well...
>SHUT THE FUCK UP OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL SLIT YOU
>...
>Damn, you didn't have to be so hard on yourself
>As you continue to watch, you see Shining Armor talking to Twilight, and he suddenly points to you
>Oh shit
>You drop to the floor, hoping that she didn't see you
>"Sir, what the hay are you doing?"
Never you mind. Are they done looking at the tower?
>"Yes sir. Captian Shining Armor is walking back to his post, and Princess Cadance is walking into the castle with Twilight Sparkle."
Ok, good.
>You resume your guard detail, noting nothing looking unusual
>"Sir, was it me, or was Princess Cadance behaving a bit odd?"
What do you mean Lucky?
>"Well, I've never seen her act so cold to anyone, and I've heard that she was pretty close to Twilight Sparkle. Something like being her old foalsitter."
I don't know, I wouldn't be too pleased if Twilight were to wave her flank at me.
>Or would you?
>No, I'm pretty sure my jimmies would be rustled if that were to happen
I'm thinking that the stress of organizing her wedding is taking a toll on her, and Twilight isn't helping much.
>That's probably right
>"Whatever you say, sir."
 
>Eight hours later...Blazin' Blue took over for Lucky
>You had seen Cadance and Twilight going in and out of various parts of the castle
>Twilight seemed more upset every time you saw her
>What's her problem?
>Now though, Cadance was walking out alone. Where'd Twilight go?
>Perhaps you should be watching her more...
>Suddenly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs&ob=av2e
>"Sir, what is that song?"
>OH SHIT
>You had your magical music player on you. You had even forgotten it was on your person
>Damn the magic that put this thing into existence
>There was no choice but to let this song play
It's a pretty good song.
>"It sounds...stalkerish"
It is. Most people who hear this song think it's a nice love song, but no, it isn't. It's about this guy who has an obsession about this girl, but in a creepy way. Yeah, stalker is the perfect word to describe it.
>"So why is it playing?"
I don't know. It's a good song, don't get me wrong. Just the message is a little weird.
>"Ok..."
Blazin', have you seen Twilight Sparkle?
>"No...why?"
>He suddenly makes a face that you don't like. Perhaps it's the song, and the sudden change of subject to Twilight.
Well, she's been following Cadance all day and suddenly, she's not. Last I saw, she looked pretty pissed. I don't know if we should be concerned yet, but I'm just a little suspicious that she's up to something.
>He smiles a little, and winks at you
>"Yeah, sure, whatever you say Captain..."
>"Hey, Anon..."
>You turn, and see Shining Armor.
Holyshithowdidyoudothat?
>His small chuckle shows how pleased he was to surprise you
>"How goes the guard detail?"
Boring, exhausting, and full of paranoia. How about you?
>"About the same. It kills me that I'm doing this instead of helping plan out my wedding."
Yeah, I imagine that would suck
>"Which is what brings me here."
Oh?
>"I'm sure you saw Twiley and her friends getting of the train. Each one has her own part in the wedding. Rainbow Dash is going to perform a Sonic Rainboom, but I don't want just that."
Hmm..now where could this be going?
>"Sounds like you guessed it already. As my contribution to the wedding, would you please do a flyby over the castle after Rainbow Dash?"
If you think the threat level will be down by that, I'll do it. Just one question.
>"Yes?"
Where the hell is my F-22?
>"Right over there."
>He points to an intricately designed, large shed-looking structure
>Huh. You should've noticed something like that.
Alright, I'll be sure to fly over the wedding. Send Rainbow Dash up when you can so we can talk choreography.
>A voice behind you sends chills down your spine
>"You'll do no such thing"
>Alright who the fuck is tha-
Oh hello Cadance. I didn't hear you coming up
>"I am naturally graceful. As such, I don't make much noise. And call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!"
>Jesus Christ how terrifying
>This wedding thing has got her stressed out beyond belief
>"What do you mean, Cadance? I just thought Anon would-"
>"I said NO! I don't want his...death thing... to ruin our wedding!"
>Your eye twitches. Your F-22 was your most prized possession, and it took a LOT of effort to get it here
Excuse me, Ma'am, but it's the best-
>"I WILL not have it at my wedding!"
>"It's OUR wedding, remember?"
>"But WE will not have anything warlike at the wedding!"
>"So I can't attend then? I am Captain of the Royal Guard!"
>As soon as he finished saying that, his face scrunched
Sir, what's wrong?!
>He holds his head on his hoof. "Just another...headache..."
>"Let me help you, dear."
>Cadance's horn glows green, surrounding his head with a green aura.
>His pain seems to lessen considerably, and he is able to stand again
>"Maybe she's right Anon. A wedding is supposed to be about love, and no offense, but a war machine like the F-22..."
No offense taken, sir. I understand the reasoning. It might not be appropriate to have a fighter fly with something as peaceful as a rainbow
>Cadence chimes in. "A sonic rainBOOM, you mean."
>Fucking A.
>Chill man...Women often get more irrational as their wedding date approaches
>You had experience with that...
>Wait, no, let's not go down that road
Yes, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. I wouldn't want to impose my presence on something so peaceful as a sonic rainboom.
>Whatever that was...
>"Good. Let's be on our way, love."
>"I'll be with you in a minute. I want to ask Anon a question."
>"Alright, dear."
>She leaves, and Shining Armor turns to you
>"Sorry about that."
It's alright, sir. I understand how wo...mares can be when they're nearing their wedding.
>"Ok. Now, what they hay are you doing to Twiley?"
>WELL SHIT
I really don't know. I was going to try to resolve what happened last weekend when I got back from the funeral, but I never had a chance to go back...
>"You could have wrote to her!"
But I did! I left her a note telling her I wanted to talk, but again, I couldn't return to Ponyville.
>"No, I mean, you could've written a letter to her telling her how you feel."
That's the thing, Shinin'... I don't know. And I don't think I could tell her in a letter.
>"So, you couldn't explain to her that you're doing your job then?"
>Wait, what?
OPSEC, sir, do you know it?
>A puzzled look appeared on his face.
>Sigh
If I sent a letter, there's the possibility it could've been intercepted by an enemy, and if they know what I'm doing... I don't think I need to explain to you what could happen there.
>"You're right. Man, this is really taking it's toll on me."
No worries, Captain. In less than two days, you'll be married, and it will all be over.
>"Yeah, you're right. Now, I have to go tend to my fiance. Please don't overwork yourself."
Can do, sir.
>"That goes for you as well, Blazin'"
>"Yes Sir!"
>No sooner had Shining Armor left eyesight than Blazin' started chatting.
>"Huh, weird. The princess seemed more aggressive than I've ever seen her before."
Weird shit happens when you get married. Don't ever get married unless you REALLY mean it, Blazin'.
>"Understood."
>He still has a perplexed look on his face
What's on your mind?
>"Well... If I may be so blunt, it seems you know much more about what you're doing than Captain Shining Armor... I wonder if-"
Watch your tongue! He's still our commanding officer and you will not speak ill of him!
>He looks taken aback
>Now's not the time to lose your shit. You lessen the harshness of your voice
Sorry, but it's not our place to criticize him. I will say this, however. I know what I'm doing, because I've been in war. Shining Armor, he hasn't. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, no stallion here has seen war. What you see in me is experience. Don't worry though. The Captain will get better, I swear. That is, if we see further conflicts.
>"Understood, sir."
>He still seems a bit shaken
>Time to break the ice
So, do you have a special somepony?
>He raises a brow
>"Sir?"
Answer the question. We've been here for a few days, I want to know a bit more about my troops, and we have plenty of time to talk.
>"Well, not yet sir, but there is this one mare I'm looking at..."
 
>1400 the next day
>The previous night, the only thing you had seen that was remotely suspicious was Twilight Sparkle shocking her friends
>You had slept through the night with difficulty. There was a dull headache that you had, and though you had gotten used to the nightmares, they didn't help much
>Getting up at 0600, you went through your morning routine and idly chat with Lightning Strike and Star Shine.
>You had to break the ice with them as well to get them to relax a little.
>Fucking A this was boring as SHIT
>This made you feel really bad for Security Forces. This must be what it's like to be the gate guard...
>"Hey, Anon"
>That voice...
>You turn, and see Twilight Sparkle right behind you
>Jimmies, Jimmies everywhere. And they're rustled.
>Looking around for an escape path-
>You're on top of a tower, asshole. There's nowhere to go
Hey, Twilight.
>An uncomfortable silence settles, and is broken by Lucky
>"I'll be inside, if you need me sir."
>Fuck
>"Anon, why?"
I'm sorry. I really am. There's nothing I can say other than that. Also, I'm an idiot."
>"You're darn right you are!"
>Wow Twilight, watch your language
Can we talk about this another time? I'm on duty right now...
>"GAAAH! I don't care about that right now! Have you seen Cadance?"
Yeah, I have. Why?
>Why you so mad?
>"She's EVIL! And she's going to take away my brother's soul!"
>You laugh
Yeah, you're right. That's what wives do.
>That just made her furious
>"I MEAN IT! She's PURE EVIL!"
>Oh shit, she's serious
Don't you think you're taking this a bit too seriously?
>She screams at you and runs through the living quarters and disappears into the castle
>Well, thank God that wasn't a waste of your time
>Lucky peaks out of the room
>"Is it safe yet?"
Yes. Yes it is...
 
>1900
>CAN THIS DAY BE OVER YET?
>Nope
>You see a purple streak running towards a part of the castle where practice is being held
>Oh, it's Twilight Sparkle
>Suddenly Princess Luna's voice echoes through the skies
>"WHO GOES THERE?!"
>Wait, what?
>"Stay indoors Twilight Sparkle."
>Where the hell did that come from??
>No, seriously? What the fuck?
>You could identify Twilight almost instantaneously, is Princess Luna near-sighted?
>Never mind
>You go back to guarding the area...
>There's shouting in there
>"Uh, sir? Should we check out what's going on in there?"
No Blazin'. We have our duty out here. Somebody else will take care of it. Besides, I don't think it would be appropriate for us to get involved.
>As you finish your sentence, you see Cadance running outside and into another room
Uh...
>Shining Armor isn't too far way
Uhhhhhh...
>Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie also come out, though they disperse
UHHHH....
>And even Princess Celestia left.
>Twilight Sparkle is nowhere to be seen though
Did you seriously do that, Twilight?
>"What did she do?"
I think she uh...told Princess Cadance how she felt about her.
>"What's so bad about that?"
....
Never mind.
>In the corner of your eye, you see a green flash through the window
>"What was that?"
>Sigh
Probably nothing, Blazin'. Let's just finish this up. Hopefully, everything will be done tomorrow. The wedding, this guard detail, and that bubble shield...
>You turn back to idle chat with Blazin'
 
End