>361 Days to go...
 
"You have got to be kidding me. There has to be an easier way to get the apples out of the trees."
>It was mid morning on the Sweet Apple Acres farm, and as promised, Pinkie Pie had arranged for Anon to talk to Applejack about applebucking. Granted, Pinkie didn't know it was because Anon was looking for work, but that was a minor detail.
>"If there is, Anon, Ah have not seen it short of magic. And earth ponies don't have magic like that. We work hard and enjoy what comes from it."
>Looking at the tree, Anon placed his hands on his hips. Somehow, he'd also expected the tree to be...bigger.
>Like most of this world, many of the things in it seemed to be pony sized. What would have been a 12 foot tall tree, was barely 7 feet tall here., and much more slender than the ones from Earth. Even the fruit was just a little smaller.
>"Tell, ya what, Anon. Why don't you give it a try, see what happens. Big fella like you might have a knack for it!"
>Staring at the tree, Anon lifted one leg, and kicked the center of the trunk.
>Then fell promptly on his butt.
"Oooowwww. Ok, that's not easy at all."
>But much to his surprise, a few dozen apple fell right out of the tree, landing in the various buckets around the base. Applejack looked a few of them over, and nodded.
>"You aren't as good as Big Mac or myself, but you'd do in a pinch, I reckon. So...why are you wanting to work here anyway? Ah thought the Princess was covering all yer costs for ya?"
>Anon stood up, dusting himself off, looking at the bounty his kick had managed to bring down.
"It's...for a gift for Pinkie Pie. But she's not supposed to know. Not yet. I'm getting it for her as a 'thank you' for helping me around Ponyville for the past couple days. To do that, I'd rather use my own money than just having it handed to me. Didn't seem right otherwise."
>Applejack nodded at the explanation.
>"An honest gift. I can appreciate that. Well, this week is zap apple harvest season, but we still need the back 10 of the regular orchard worked during that time. If you are ok working by yourself, you can start today. We have a cart out there already. Just take the empty ones, an' fill'em with apples! When you get them all full, bring'em back to the barn, and you'll be done for the day! Few hours a day, 30 bits a day, one week. Think y'all can handle that?"
>Nodding, Anon shook the offered hoof of the orange pony. After being given direction, the human walked off toward some distant trees, while a small, red maned pony came up behind Applejack.
>"Sis, ah thought you said we were stopping apple bucking while the zap apples were coming in? Why'd ya send him out into the orchard?"
>"Because, Applebloom...he's doing something for a friend. And Ah get the feeling he could use a friend right now, just lookin' at him."
>Out in the orchard, Anon had found the cart Applejack was talking about. It wasn't all that big, and had about forty buckets in it. The first tree had about 5 buckets around them when he'd kicked it, and they'd filled about a quarter of the way. So...move 5, kick a couple times, and load them up.
"Seems simple enough."
>And that was the last words Anon said for a few hours. As it turned out, Apple bucking wasn't the hard part. His size did most of the work. Loading the apple buckets into the cart, however, was where the real work was. A 30 pound bucket lifted once is easy enough. Several dozen times added up to sore muscles and sweaty skin.
>But sure enough, a half ton apples added later, Anon sat against the cart. Relaxing for a few minutes in the shade of one of the trees to cool down, Anon smiled at the pink pony bouncing down the road.
"Did you get off work early, Pinks?"
>With a very enthusiastic nod, Pinkie flopped in the grass next to Anon.
>"Yup, Mrs. Cake said it was slow enough today that they didn't need me to stay through the lunch rush! So, I came to see how my wandering Nony was doing!"
"Your Nonny?"
>Pinkie blushed a little as he'd noticed that comment.
>"Well, not really my Nonny, but a Nonny...The Nonny...I'm gonna shut up now."
>With a chuckle, Anon flopped back in the grass as well, fluffing Pinkie's mane in the process.
"Relax, Pinks, I knew what you meant. I just like seeing you flustered from time to time. Makes me smile."
>A few minutes passed without words between them, just two beings watching the clouds, before Pinkie rolled, and looked at Anon right in the face.
>"I'mma lick you now, okay?"
"What, what?"
>And with that simple statement, Pinkie licked the side of Anon's sweat covered face. His eyes seemed to pop out of his face at that, sitting bolt upright, and looking down at Pinkie.
"What the hell, Pinks?! Why did you lick-"
>But at that moment, Pinkie Pie was riding the yellow submarine.
>"Whoa...the anonberries taste like snozzberries...I can't wait to tell Twilight..."
>Anon's eyes narrowed at hearing the alicorn's name. That...that...
"That damn horse has gone too far this time. It's time I set her straight!"
>But Pinkie was lost to her own hallucinations at this point.
>"She's not a horse, Nonny...she's...more like a very nervous eggplant! You know what's a funny word? Aubergine...it's what they call eggplants in Great Troton! Aubergiiiiiine..."
>Picking up Pinkie, he set her carefully in the bed of the cart, and lifted the yolk over one shoulder, pulling with some effort, but finally managing to get the wheels turning. About 15 minutes later, the cart rolled into the barn, And a very confused Applejack watched Anon walk out of the barn, carrying Pinking Pie on his back.
>"Whaht in tarnation...where did Pinkie Pie come from?"
"She came to see me after she got off work, Ma'am. And apparently is an uninformed participant of a Twilight experiment to see if my sweat was salty."
>"Salty...oh good heavens, she didn't..."
>Pinkie's head sort of rolled back a smidge as she began a sing-song.
>"Nonny's back's all sweaty..super salty sweaty...I'mma lick you, salty Anonny..for great science and swirly whirlies!"
>And with that, he head rolled onto Anon's shoulder, and with a defeated sigh, Anon adjusted her weight.
"She did. I'll be back tomorrow for more work, boss. Right now, I have to go break my foot off in Twilight's ass."
>"Oh horsefeathers! Anon, wait!"
>But the human was not having any of that. She'd gone too far now. He could tolerate her screwing up his life, but not at the expense of his one friend in this cotton candy world.
>When Anon got to the library, Pinkie had already passed out against him, though twice he had to stop Pinkie from trying to lick his neck. One disturbing act was enough for one day, thank you very much.
>Kicking the door open, he'd scared Spike damn near out of his skin, causing the little dragon to drop a half dozen books.
"TWILIGHT, you miserable excuse for a horse! Get you purple ass out here so I can properly kick it!"
>From one of the tunnels leading underground, Anon heard the shrill cry of that devil pony.
>"I am not a horse, you idiot!"
>Turning his head toward the sound of the voice, Anon walked into the door and toward the hall, with Applejack holding the belt of his pants in her teeth, trying to hold him back.
>"Ah cn't lt ya kll hr, 'non. Sh's mh frnd!"
>Busting into the downstairs basement, Spike had joined Applejack in trying to hold back the very angry human. Twilight intervened by casting a holding spell around the whole group.
>"What on Equestria is going on here?! I'm trying to work!"
"Did you tell Pinkie to lick me?!"
>"What?!" The look of shock on her face seemed genuine, but Anon had clearly had enough of this.
"DID. YOU. TELL. HER?"
>Twilight waved the question off, clearly annoyed by the interruption of her studies.
>"Of course I didn't! I simply told her I was curious if your other body fluids had high concentrations of salt like what she told me about! I would never put my friend's life at risk for science!"
"Then why'd she lick me?! Answer me that!"
>Twilight rolled her eyes, and tuned in her chair. Setting her quill down, she looked over the tops of her reading glasses, a look of sympathy coming to her features.
>"I honestly don't know, Anon. Pinkie does things sometimes, and no one understands why till after the fact. Ask her some time about the incident with the parasprites."
"Well...what do I do? She high as a kite! Do I take her to the hospital?"
>"Relax, Anon. She'll be fine in a little while. Salt is hardly lethal to a pony at these small doses. But I wouldn't recommend letting her do that very often, if ever again. I suspect the dosage is somewhat more unusual coming off you, which explains the potency. I would have tested my theory, but Pinkie took it upon herself to help herself."
>With a sigh, Twilight turned back in her seat, levitating a few vials from her set up.
>"Take her home, Anon. And if you come by tomorrow, I would like to talk to you about our current predicament. I think I am on to something."
>Anon just stood there for a long while, before whispering to Applejack.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Applejack. Can you go to sugar cube corner and let Mr. and Mrs. Cake know Pinkie is going to be at my house this afternoon, and I will see her home in time for dinner?"
>"Sure thing, sugarcube...and Anon?"
"Yes?"
>"Y'all need to learn to keep part of that anger in check. It didn't hurt no pony today, but gettin' that mad all the time can't be healthy, ya know?"
"I'll-"
>Taking a deep breath, Anon turned, and headed toward the door, still carrying Pinkie on his back.
"I'll keep that in mind, Applejack. See you tomorrow."
>Once he was gone, Twilight visibly relaxed. Turning to Applejack, she raised her voice a little.
>"Is that creature crazy? Just busting into the library like he owns the place! I barely got the main room fixed after his arrival!"
>"Ah think you shoulda been more honest with him, Sugar Cube. He's gonna be here tomorrow, and he's still mighty upset. What could you possibly tell him to make him happy?"
>"That's simple, AJ...I'm going to try to send him home."
 
--------------------
 
>Back at Anon's house, he'd set Pinkie on the closest couch, and had time to change his clothes into something Rarity had given him before Pinkie woke up. She kinda leaned up on one hoof, rubbing her temple.
>"What...what happened?"
"You licked my face and went on a salt trip for a few hours. Twilight says you shouldn't do that. I'm inclined to agree with the purple horse. For once."
>"She's not a-"
"Not now, Pinkie. Why would you do something like that? What if I was poisonous?"
>"I...I'm sorry! I just wanted to help Twilight out, and the first time wasn't so bad! So I thought I could handle it this time too!"
"Don't lick the toad, Pinks. It's too risky."
>"Lick...toads?"
"On earth, licking certain toads had a similar effect on humans. But it was incredibly bad for them. You had me really worried, Pinks, and I damn near was ready to beat the daylights out of Twilight because I though she'd suggested it."
>Wincing at that part of the tale, Pinkie hid her face under her hooves.
>"Ok, no more licking Anon. Got it."
>Nodding and heading to the other room for a glass of water for her, Pinkie did whisper to herself.
>"I kinda liked it, though..."