> It's a beautiful sunny morning in P0nyville.
> The skies are clear and the birds are singing.
> A grey coated mailmare circles the town looking to make her first delivery.
> The school bell rings in the distance, summoning fillies and colts to their busy day learning.
> It's the kind of day that makes you glad to be ali-
"DON'T YOU DARE PINKIE PIE!"
> *Ahem*
> It's the kind of day that ma-
> "I caaAAaan't Heaaaar yooOOoo!"
"GODDAMMIT PINKIE PIE!"
> It's the kind of day that-
"I swear to everyp0ny present if you go near that donkey I'm gonna shave your mane!"
> "You'll have to catch me first 'Nonny!"
> "Nyaaah!"
> ..
> ..
> > It'sthekindofdaythatmakesyougladtobe-
"STOP BOUNCING SO I CAN KILL YOU!"
> You know what?
> Fine.
> You are Anonymous.
> ...and you're far too busy chasing Pinkie Pie to listen to your opening.
 
> Two wide eyed mares watch you sprint past them.
> You're sweating, clutching your ribs and you're pretty sure that's you swearing with each pained exhalation.
> You can't keep this pace up for much longer.
> Pinkie, conversely, is bouncing merrily along ahead of you and isn't showing the slightest effect from the pace she's keeping.
> Most of the way she's been glancing back at you over her shoulder and grinning but now she's looking ahead... this is your chance!
> You find the stamina for one last push.
> You're getting closer... closer.
> That poofy cloud of a tail is just within reach... She's still not looking...
> Your arm stretches out... further... just a... little... further... and...
> You snatch for the tail, but it flicks just out of reach.
> "Oooh. close!" coos Pinkie.
> You snatch again and the tail flicks away just in time.
> "Nearly!"
> Fury bests patience and you flail at it with both arms.
> It flicks side to side, dodging your hands with each lazy motion.
> "Ooh. Good try 'Nonny! I thought you had it that time!"
"RAAAGH!"
> You bellow in rage and leap with your arms spread wide to catch the infuriating pink mare around the neck.
> ...just as she promptly stops dead in her tracks.
> Her head thrusts down to within an inch of the ground and she announces loudly "Ooh! 'Nonny! I just found a bit!"
> ...right as you sail clean over her.
*Krunch!*
 
 
> You throw your arms out to break your fall.
> Unfortunately, your wrist isn't fully healed and it buckles beneath you.
> You lie in a crumpled heap on the cobbles, twitching in pain.
"..ow..fuck..ow.."
> A pink fluffy blur fills your vision and asks meekly "..um.. are you ok?"
*mumble*
> "huh?"
*groan*
> Pinkie's eyes glisten and her smile falls away as worry sets in... she knows about your injuries... perhaps you've strained them...
> She leans in to check, timidly asking "'Nonny?" as she does so.
> Which is exactly what you were waiting for.
> You lunge up with viper like speed, grabbing the pink mare around her neck and yelling..
"Gotcha!"
> "EEEEEE!" squeals Pinkie, shortly before rearing up with a flailing of her forelegs then galloping straight off the road and across a green with you hanging on for dear life.
> Your first error was forgetting that despite looking like candyfloss given life, Pinkie is actually an earth p0ny.
> Your second mistake was forgetting how strong earth p0nies are.
> Your third was getting your hand tangled in her curly mane, because now you can't let go.
 
> Bouncing wildly, with your wrist flaring with sharp agonising lances of pain, you careen across the common attatched to the now stampeding Pinkie Pie.
> She's squealing and giggling now as she runs.
> Another yelp of pain escapes your mouth and your grip slips.
> Pinkies squeals of delight and mock fear disolve into a yowl of pain.
> "OW.ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! OWWWW! Leggo!"
"Hand... agh! stuck."
> Pinkie slows to a halt, but her hooves still dance out a panicked little staccato on the grass while you hang there from her mane.
> You try to untangle your wrist but each movement Pinkie makes is a fresh agony.
> Trying to calm her down seems to be the only option, but your heaving chest brings problems of it's own.
> Each deep breath puts pressure on your tender ribs and this combined with the wrist leaves you barely capable of speech.
> "What IS the meaning of this?"
> You and Pinkie both look towards the source of the well enunciated outrage.
> Rarity.
> She's standing outside the Kitchen door at the back of the Carousel boutique while a steaming china cup floats next to her.
> You follow her angry gaze, noting that your path has taken you straight into her garden and your heels have dragged two deep gouges in her lawn.
> Pinkie grins at the white unicorn sheepishly... "Oops."
 
-----
 
> With utmost care Rarity manages to untangle your throbbing wrist from the curly pink mane.
> Pinkie hops with joy at being freed, yelling "Yippie! Oh, thankyou Rarity. Thankyou-thankyou-thankyoooo!" and clamping her forehooves around the white unicorn.
> You just lay there, letting your breathing slow and clutching your enflamed wrist.
> Rarity gently untangles herself from the enthusiastic hug.
> "My pleasure Pinkie... Anonymous..." Rarity pauses mid sentence, eyes roaming up and down your prone form.
> She then concludes "You are absolutely filthy... and your clothes... what HAVE you been doing?"
"Chasing Pinkie. Losing badly."
> "Nuhuh! you caught me." Pinkie retorts with a pout "That means you won."
"..yay.."
> Rarity gives you a tight, sympathetic smile and whispers "Dear? if you don't mind me saying... You don't really look like a winner right now."
> You nod, acknowledging her point.
> "I guess since you caught me, I'm not gonna go see Cranky." says Pinkie, adding cheerily as she leans over you "Two for two this morning!"
> Pinkie then leaps back yelling "Goooooo Anon!" as she kicks out like a cheerleader and uses her tail as in impromptu pompom.
> Rarity sighs and then coughs politely "..*ahem* Pinkie? don't you have work this morning? The cakes are sure to be busy... what with certain events to cater for."
> Pinkie's eyes widen and she gasps "Ohmygosh! You're right! I gotta go... play some more later 'Nonny!" ...and with that the pink mare bounds away with a wave.
> You manage to raise your hand but waving it is a bit too much...
"..why can't I stay mad at her?"
> "..because it's far too exhausting dear." says Rarity with a measured tone "Now. Let's see what we can do about this."
"I'll fix the lawn. Just let me lay here for a while."
> Or just pull the dirt over yourself and die right here.
> Either's good.
 
> "Darling, the lawn can be fixed anytime. Your... wrist is it? yes. Wrist. It looks to be causing you some discomfort."
> A blue glow suffuses your body and slowly raises you to a sitting positon.
> "We'll take you to the kitch---er.." Rarity glances at your dirty clothes and alters the plan on the fly.. "..sit on the veranda while I fetch some ice."
> You peer at the back of the Carousel.
"Veranda... do you mean the 'kitchen step'?"
> "Allow a lady her dreams, dear. Come now."
> The blue glow focuses on your elbow and you lean against it as you regain your footing.
> You hear the white unicorn make a somehow still feminine grunt of effort as her magic takes your weight.
> Rarity smiles apologetically as you notice her effort.
> "Somep0nies focus their p0nykineses on raw strength... others upon finesse." She smiles coyly then continues "..not all of us can powerlifters."
> The mental image of an unholy amalgam of Twilight Sparkle and that pegasus with the tiny wings you've seen in town suddenly leaps to mind.
"*snrk*... sorry. ow. the thought of Twilight as a muscle bound... ahh."
> Your ribs twinge again as you try to supress your laughter.
> Wincing in pain you hobble the rest of the way to the kitchenstep and are lowered down onto it.
> Rarity pauses long enough to shoot a worried glance in your direction and then trots off into the kitchen.
 
> The white unicorn returns after a short time.
> She has a small first aid box floating at her side and an ice pack.
> Of course, this being Rarity the ice pack is a fine silken purse and the first aid box a shellacked teak that's decorated with a red cross of inset rubies.
> She floats the pack over to you and with a grateful smile you press it against your swollen wrist.
*siiigh*
> Your exhalation is one of relief as the pain begins to fade.
> Rarity opens the box and her blue aura of magic dances around the contained items.
> It puts you in mind of delicate fingers selecting the perfect choice by discerning touch alone.
> She pulls up a length of bandage and with a gentle hoof gesture motions for you to remove the ice pack.
> Suffused in a blue aura the soft material wraps your wrist tightly and then with a small satisfied smile Rarity ties it off in a bow.
> You thank her then place the icepack over it and revel in the cooling sensation.
> "Just what have you been doing to yourself Anonymous?"
"Long story Miss Rarity."
> "Just Rarity, please, and do tell. I have time to spare."
"It's... I'd rather not go into it."
> Rarity sniffs, and then as she looks away adds "..I see.. well, perhaps you'd like to tell me why you were chasing Pinkie?"
"Ah... no. Sorry. It's, um, party related."
> Technically, it is...
 
> With an intrigued little glint in her sapphire eyes, Rarity looks sidelong at you... "is IT indeed?"
> You say nothing.
> Rarity leans a little closer and asks softly "..I wonder what could possibly have caused such a chase then? A disagreement about decoration perhaps? Theme?"
> She leans closer with each word "...caaatering perhaps?"
"Couldn't possibly tell you."
> Rarity's head is now resting on your shoulder. "Oh, do tell..."
> She flutters her eyelashes and fixes you with a sweet smile, then asks softly... "Pleeeaase?"
> The white unicorn is almost draped across you now...
> ...and then, in a tone that would forever redifine the term 'sultry' for you, she whispers in your ear "..I'd be everso grateful if you did.. ever.. so.."
"It's not ladylike to pry."
> She halts mid sentence and then stands up with a little *hff*.
> An awkward silence decends.
> Only to be broken when you notice her trying to supress a smirk next to you.
> Looking sidelong at you she says softly "Touche, Anonymous."
> You can't help but smile.
"Well. I best be going. Thankyou for-"
> "Oh! where ARE my manners? I haven't offered you any refreshments!"
 
"It's fine, I-"
> Rarity smiles and replies in a singsong voice "It's no trouble at all. Please make yourself, um, comfortable... I'll be back in a jiffy!"
> She prances into the kitchen while you sit on the 'veranda', wondering why you heard a little twang of desperation in her voice.
> You can hear her talking to herself as she clatters around the kitchen... "..now where IS it.."
> Any attempts to dissuade her are drowned out by the rattling of crockery, rummaging and general noise of a hostess deep in the throes of preparation.
> She returns escorted by a floating tray, a small table and the screeching accompanyment of a pair of stools being dragged along the kitchens tiled floor.
> Rarity is straining with effort moving so many objects at once.
> You reach over and guide the table to the front of the 'veranda', ignoring her protests.
> Soon the stools are in place and the tray settles down onto the table.
> On the tray there is a small plate of triangular cut sandwiches with some mysterious green substance inside, a teapot and two china cups.
> Tiny... tiny cups.
> With a strained smile Rarity pours the steaming tea into the two cups, then sits on her stool and comments "Isn't this nice?"
"Um... lovely."
> You surrepticiously peel back one of the sandwiches and inspect the innards... guacamole?... then swiftly snatch your hand back as Rarity turns to speak.
> "So... Anonymous... it's been far too long. How are you?"
"Ok Miss...sorry... Rarity. What's wrong?"
 
> "Why nothing dear." she answers and you believed her until that thin, eager smile punctuated the answer. "Do drink up."
> You hold back a sigh and pick up your tiny cup.
> The handle is too small to even slip your little finger through, so you pinch it between thumb and forefinger.
> It's a... pleasant smelling brew.
> You sip and drain half the cup.
> The taste is rich, refreshing and slightly malty.
> "What do you think?" asks Rarity, leaning forward with interest "...it's a new blend. I've been so eager to try it."
"It's nice, but..since when did you need an excuse to drink tea?"
> "Tea is best enjoyed in company."... again she has that slightly eager smile.
"Oh."
> You chance one of the sandwiches.
> It's... crunchier than you expected, which is impressive given it manages to retain a certain sliminess too.
> Rarity proudly offers up an explanation before you can ask "wheatgrass, diced cucumber and a base of pulped avacado."
> Wheatgrass.
> Your stomach hastily dispatches a belch of disgust, but you hold it back.
> A sip of the tea takes away the taste.
> You look at Rarity.
> She's sitting with perfect poise, tea suspended in the air near her and a half eaten sandwich hovering close.
> ...but something seems off to you and it's not the sandwich filling.
"Ok. What's wrong?"
 
> Without turning she replies "It's unbecoming of a gentlecolt to pry."
> ...after speaking she chances a glance at your expression and you catch the faint glimmer of amusement in her sapphire eyes.
"Good thing I'm not a colt. Talk."
> Rarity sits rigid for a moment... before the cup returns to the the tray with a clatter and the sandwich falls to the floor.
> Her shoulders quiver and she meekly opens with a near whisper of "oh Anonymous..."
> The white unicorn turns away from you... unable to meet your eyes...
> What you caught of her expression was enough to worry you... it was heartbroken... lost...
> You move around the table and take a knee to stay eye level.
"Rarity?"
> She doesn't answer, just shies away from you further.
> You lean closer and extend a reassuring hand.
> "I'm sooooo BORED!" she cries out, throwing her hooves skyward and swooning into your rapidly deployed arms.
> You look down at the white mare.
> She's draped across your arms with the back of a hoof laid across her brow and an expression of hopeless ennui.
"Bored."
> She nods coyly and favors you with a shy little smile.
"That's it?"
> She nods again, pouting.
> If your arms weren't occupied, you'd facepalm so hard right now.
"How could you be bored?"
 
> She balls up your tunic in her hoofs and pulls you closer... "Oh, it's terrible! I've caught up on all my orders... I've organised the shopfront five times... FIVE!"
> "I've stocked my shelves... dressed and redressed each window... all the p0nikins have two ensembles EACH!.. I've even... *shudder* organised my creativity room! *sob*"
> Rarity flops back again with an extended despondent sigh.
"So. That's it. You're ahead on all your work."
> Rarity nods with a dejected pout.
> You stand and, despite the strain on your ribs carry the unicorn away from the Carousel.
> "Wh-where are you taking me Anonymous?"
"I'm dropping you on the muddiest thing I can find."
> She locks onto you with a diamond hard stare. "Don't. You. Dare."
> You keep walking.
> "I am warning you Anonymous. If you drop me I'll... I'll... I'll do something. I don't know what yet, but you mark my words! Something!"
> ...and you keep on walking.
> "I mean it! I'll scream and... Oooh! let me go you cad!"
> ...she struggles and kicks, but you keep on walking.
> "That's far enough! No more!...what's that?" Rarity starts to squirm, trying to turn her head without success, "...is that water? It is! the river?!?"
"Yup. Rivers are kinda muddy. Seemed like a good choice... got any thoughts on that?"
> "*gasp* You FIEND! Help! Oh HELP! DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!" she pauses, ears twitching about in anticipation...
> Rarity timidly asks out "Anyp0ny? At all? No?"...then folds her forehooves across her chest ".*humph* I mean REALLY... this town has a dearth of dashing stallions... I shall have to-"
 
> The white unicorn looks up at you with wide, terror filled eyes "..wh-why have we stopped my dearest and most special human friend?"
"We're here."
> You begin to lower her down and, at first, she kicks squeals and screams... before a flailing hindleg strikes cobbles.
> Rarity gingerly opens one eye and looks around as you lower her the rest of the way to the ground.
> The fountain... the p0nies staring and giggling behind their hooves.
> The restaurant with the tables outside and the dignified waiterp0ny standing close and attentive.
"Table for two please."
> Rarity coughs demurely and shakes her head once, springing her mane back into perfection.
> She then gives an acknowledging smile and nod to the watching audience of townsp0nies before following the waiter with her head held high.
"Still bored?"
> "..not in the slightest."
"Good."
> "Anonymous dear?"
"Mmm?"
> "My vengance shall be swift, sudden and without even an iota of mercy."
"That's nice."
> "Now... I shall expect this meal to be accompanied by full gossip, unrestrained yet delightful banter and discussions of Canterlot's finest trends and fashions..."
"Indubitably"
> "Fabulous. Now... there is a blend of tea you simply MUST try..."