Original Thread
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https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/22926195/
 
 
 
Reviews and Comments
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Bug Bite by NotScribble
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>Edgy fucking OP about torture, but I had an itch to do a changeling story. It was also supposed to be much shorter.
 
 
 
 >"Ahhhhhhhh!"
>You are Anon, and-
>"We are running out of patience."
>"Uhhhhnnn..."
>"You have the power to stop this all, just give us what we want and you will be released."
>And you are currently standing outside of the 'questioning room,' where an unfortunate creature is being handled by the princess's personal guards.
>As you understand it, it's a changeling.
>Your knowledge on them is limited, but from you've been told, they attacked Canterlot before, and feed on love or something.
>"I... Can't-"
>"Can't or won't? Speak insect, and choose your words carefully."
>You can't figure out why something that feeds on love would be hostile.
>Seems counter-productive; like poisoning your own food.
>You lower your head as you consider things.
>The sunhorse commanded them to discover all they could, while emphasizing 'by any means.'
>She wouldn't be risking her citizens in another attack.
>You could tell it wasn't a call she enjoyed making, but it seemed to be for the greater good or some bullshit.
>"Won't- Ahhhhhhhh!! S-stop, please!"
>"You will give us what we want in time. Your suffering is prolonged needlessly. Just a location, that's all. It's that simple."
>There's a long silence, and you cringe a bit.
>You're honestly shocked any of the ponies in this world had this in them.
>Then again, you suppose no world is ever truly perfect.
>"A location... And then what? Look at me... Do you think I'm stupid enough to think you'd treat them any better?"
>"We do not enjoy this, how do you say, barbaric behavior. However, we must be sure your kind remains safely outside of our lands. Do not pretend as if your kind didn't strike the first blow."
>You hear a grunt of pain, and the distinct sound of exaggerated spitting.
>"I told you... Over and over... We were forced out of our land, and Queen Chrysalis led us to believe that the only way we could be safe was to take a new one. We didn't know anything about this place!"
>"Enough!"
>"Ahhhhhhhhhuhhhhh..."
 
>It would seem the guard has lost his patience.
>"We 'know' for a fact the insect queen had been planning this attack for many years. We 'know' she had close agents scouting our ranks and plotting a course of action. Do you think you are the first bug we have had in this room?"
>You hear the sound of multiple metallic objects clattering to the floor, followed by silence.
>"As I said, you will tell us what we need to know in time. Everyone always tells us what we need to know. I'll leave you for now."
>You step back a little as the door swings open, revealing a bloodied guard and his companion.
>"They always do."
>Once the door is closed, you walk with them for a short distance as they head towards what you assume is the washroom.
>At least, that's where you'd be heading.
"You guys sure take this seriously."
>The guards don't even bother looking up at you as you continue.
>"Of course, Anon. We must do our duty to protect our lands, even if the things we must do aren't... Favorable."
"Are the changelings really that dangerous?"
>The other guard nods, though the former seems to be the only one who ever speaks.
>"I'm well aware you did not arrive until after the fact, but much was destroyed very quickly. We can not risk a lapse in history."
>You nod.
>Shit like this wasn't exactly an uncommon theme back in your own world.
>However, this wasn't your world.
"You know, I've dealt with this sort of thing a lot back in my universe."
>The guard finally glances over your way with an intriguing look of both disbelief and curiosity.
"Oh?"
"Ya, but we had a lot more inventive ways of, uh, torturing prisoners to get information."
>A smirk escapes his lips as he looks forward once more.
>"You should share some of this knowledge during a more appropriate time."
"What if I just did it for you?"
>They both stop together, and he glances your way once more.
>"What do you mean?"
>You shrug.
"By any means, right? I think I can get what you want."
 
>He squints at you.
>Anon, the smartass, the prankster, the guy who never takes anything seriously regardless of who he is talking to, most especially royalty.
>Anon, the torturer?
>"I don't see how one with your, erm, reputation would accomplish this."
>You fold your arms and pump up your chest slightly.
>You're not exactly a big guy, but compared to even the largest ponies, you were very imposing.
"Leave that to me, but I want one thing."
>He rolls his eyes.
>"I do not expect you will be successful, but the princess herself suggested using every venue that presented itself, so we shall humor your notion. What is it you need?"
"Simple. I need you guys to stay away from that room until I'm finished. I'll come find you when I'm done with him."
>He releases a guffaw at your proposal.
>"You can not exp-"
>You bend over slightly and point between his eyes.
"And not just you guys. No one is allowed near that room while I work. Like I said, this is something I'm familiar with, and my methods make yours seem... Tame."
>He looks down your finger and gulps.
>Most of the time, you can't go two full sentences without busting out a grin or making a sarcastic remark, so this was brand new territory for them.
>It was also working.
>"Very well. We shall see to it you are not disturbed during your interrogation. Now, if you'll excuse us."
>You stand up straight once more with your hands in your pockets as they turn and walk away.
>You rock on your feet a few times before turning around to head back to the questioning room.
>There was work to do.
 
>Despite the way you built yourself up to those guards, you weren't entirely sure what you would do.
>Watching this sort of thing happen in movies was one thing.
>Being up close when it was actually happening was another thing entirely.
>This was your way of delaying that, or in the best case scenario, preventing it from happening again.
>How, though?
>You look up as you approach the large metallic door that stands against the otherwise pleasant decor.
>Maybe he would just tell you?
>Bullshit.
>Maybe you could promise him nothing would happen?
>Like he'd believe you, or you even had that power.
>You stop in front of the door and take a deep breath.
>Guess you'll have to figure it out as you go.
>With that thought, you pull open the door and step inside.
>The smell of the room reaches you before the sight of it does.
>You are instantly assaulted by the stench of blood, both old and new, followed by the sight of a blood-stained marble floor.
>It's a fairly large room, what you'd guess was a good 30 feet from wall to wall.
>Tables and assorted bondage devices were scattered about.
>For a brief moment, your mind jumps to S&M, but the sight of the changeling in question quickly drags your brain back to the reality of the situation.
>Before you was the battered remains of one changeling, chained up in an x-shaped fashion to a vertical table.
>Twilight was kind enough to force her knowledge all over you when you inquired about them once.
>It was a passing fancy, so most of the information went over your head.
>Along with your limited knowledge was a few rough sketches of what they looked like.
>This looked nothing like the pictures.
>You weren't careful to be quiet as you approached, but he didn't respond to your presence.
>Instead, he simply took a few slow, deep breaths.
>He then raised his head to about your stomach before quickly opening his eyes.
 
>There was a brief flash of determination reflected in them, which was instantly replaced by surprise as he flinched and raised his head to see your face.
>You're not sure what expression you were wearing, but it wasn't malice.
>You were simply observing his behavior and looking over the damage.
>His mouth slowly gaped open as he continued looking you over as well.
"Man, they really fucked you up."
>He flinched slightly at the sound of your voice, snapping him out of his trance.
>His eyes readopted the appearance of determination, though it was obviously accompanied by fear this time.
>"So they sent some giant freak to finish me off?"
>He closed his eyes and took one more deep breath.
>"I'm not telling you anything I haven't already told the other guards."
"That's nice."
>You mostly ignore what he was saying as you reach out and begin brushing your hand over his body, testing out his various textures.
>He sure felt strange, that was for sure.
>Hard, but with a little bit of give, almost like hardened leather.
>His wings, which reminded you of glass, was actually much softer than it appeared to be as well.
>Your reply, accompanied by this strange behavior, seemed to throw him off-guard.
>He opened his eyes once more and turned his head to the side.
>"What, uh... What are you doing?"
>You pull your hand away.
>Look at you, feeling up a restrained, battered prisoner.
>Creepy fuck.
"Oh, I just never seen a changeling before. I was curious."
>He looks you up and down once more before squinting a bit.
>"What are you supposed to be, exactly?"
"Hm? Oh, right."
>You look yourself over real quick.
>Obviously you know how you look, but it was somewhat of a reflex.
"I'm Anon, the only human on the planet."
>He lifts his head slightly.
>"Loyal to the ponies, I presume?"
>You shrug.
"Eh, kinda."
 
>"Kind of? Are you their servant? Their slave?"
"I'm what you might call a neutral party."
>He scoffs at your reply.
>"Neutral. You are under their employ, otherwise you would not be in here."
"This is where I appeared when I found myself in this world. It's not like I chose it. Anyway, they're not so bad most of the time."
>"Likely story. Spare my dignity and just get on with it."
>You take a step back and shrug.
"Look, I know you've been through some shit recently, but I'm not like that."
>"I know you're here to discover where the remnants of my squad are hidden. I can assure you I'll sooner die than give you their whereabouts."
"You'd rather die, huh?"
>You reach out and boop his nose.
>No real reason why, just your way of breaking tension.
>He took your tone as mocking, if his scowl was any indication.
>"Yes!"
>He barks at you.
>You stand back a bit and shake your head with a small grin.
"Amazing that they can't see you're acting just like they do."
>He lowers his tone a bit.
>"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Hm? Friendship and all that. Anyway, yes, I said I'd get the info they were looking-"
>He spits.
>"Neutral."
"Look, I don't know shit about you or your kind, alright? I'm only in here cuz I had to do... Something, I don't know."
>He doesn't reply.
>You turn and sit on a nearby table a short distance away.
"You have to give me something. How about why you were here?"
>"I'm here because I was discovered."
"You know what I meant."
>He frowns out you, but his expressions softens a bit.
>"Fine. My squad was sent to this area to search for remnants of our hive."
>You glance around a bit, and speak up when he doesn't continue.
"What, that's it? You're looking for your buddies?"
>"To put it simply, yes."
>You sit up and grab your chin, feigning as though you just solved some great mystery.
"Well they probably think that means you're gathering forces for another attack."
 
>"Of course that's what they think. That's what anyone would think! Urk..."
>He attempts to hunch over a bit in pain, but he's fully restrained.
"But that's not what you're doing, is it?"
>He stares at you for a moment, giving you an expression that screams are you serious.
>"Why ask questions you know how I'll answer?"
>You shrug.
"Just talking it out. Fuck."
>You rub the back of your neck and he slouches a bit.
"Okay, are there specific bugs you're looking for? Number? How long did you plan on being here?"
>He groans a bit.
>"Can't give you numbers, but yes, there were some specific personnel we were searching for."
>After taking a few short breaths, he speaks once more.
>"We we're only going to stay as long as it took to locate them."
>You lean forward on your legs.
"Why don't you just explain that to them, then?"
>He looks up and chuckles slightly.
>"Don't play stupid. Look at me."
>He glances down over his battered body.
>"I 'did' tell them. I've told them everything I've told you, and more. I even made promises that we would be on our way as soon as possible, but that's not what they want. They want everyone. They want to follow me to my group and then they want to take us all at once."
>He goes limp once more, slouching in his chains.
>"We suspect that's what happened to many of our other search parties. They just vanished. We thought we'd try our luck anyway, and now here I am."
>He looks up at you once more and looks you over carefully.
>"What about you, neutral? What's your stake in this?"
>You jump up off the table and walk around a little bit as you think.
"Honestly, usually I'm the troublemaker. Little shit, just bugging people for fun. Uh, no pun intended."
>He says nothing as he watches you walk about.
"But this time I feel like I have to play peace keeper, since you guys obviously have some history that neither side will look past."
 
>He nods.
>"And so we are at an impasse. They can't let me go because they think I'll just feed my hive information, and I refuse to give up my hive for my life."
>You nod in response.
"Right..."
>Well, someone had to make the first move then.
>Your usual stunts are more of a nuisance than a threat to national security, but fuck, you were low on options.
>He's not going to tell you where his buddies are, and they're not going to let him go.
>Goddamit.
>You walk over to him and lift up his head, forcing him to stare into your eyes.
>He glances around nervously for a moment and you squint harder.
"Alright, I'm going to try to help everyone here, but you're going to have to help me with that."
>He looks a bit worried.
>"What do you mean?"
"I want you to promise me that you'll find me after you get out and check on your friends."
>His eyes get a little shimmery and grow wider.
>"Are you saying you're going to let me go?"
>You groan slightly.
"Shut up and listen. I won't try to follow you once you're clear so you know I'm putting trust in you, but I want you to find me again afterwords so we can make sure all of you leave Equestria."
>He looks away for a moment before glaring back at you.
>"Wait, what if you just ambush me again once I find you?"
"For what? To bring you back here? That's a stupid fucking plan."
>He looks down.
>"Fair enough."
"Hey. I need that promise."
>He slowly looks back up at you, struggling to continue looking into your harsh glare.
>"You... Have my word."
>He seemed sincere enough.
>Fine then.
>You nod at him and circle around to deal with the locks.
>Old, conventional locks.
>Easy as shit to pick with your dextrous fingers and any small piece of metal.
>"So what's your plan on getting me out of here? I assume your princess doesn't know about this, and won't appreciate it."
>You roll your eyes as you pick open each lock.
"I sorta kinda make it up as I go. No one should be anywhere near this room, at least."
>"That's... Not comforting."
 
>You pick open the last lock and the chains fall free, along with your changeling acquaintance.
>He implants firmly into the marble below with a loud thud.
>You can hear him moaning softly, as if his lungs are merely deflating.
"Shit, sorry."
>He doesn't move.
>You walk around to kneel next to him before rolling him over on his side.
>He look up at you in pain.
>"Urr..."
"Good, you're fine."
>You stand up and cross your arms.
>He continues not moving, but finds his breath.
>"Yeah, I'm just lovely."
>After a moment, you clap your together and point down at him.
"Oh, well fuck, this should have been obvious. You can just change into a guard and we can walk out."
>He frowns and closes his eyes.
>You see a tiny spark of magic flicker on his horn, but nothing else.
>He sighs and opens his eyes again.
>"No good. I'm too weak to move, let alone cast magic."
>Shit.
>Oh, wait.
"Wait, don't you gain strength from, uh, love or something?"
>His frown grows as he looks up at you.
>"Something like that."
>You smile and hold your hands up.
"Well, then that's all we need to do. Love will power you up, right?"
>He stares up at you and squints a bit.
>"I don't like how excited you're getting over this."
>You shrug.
"C'mon, this is all new for me. First new thing I've had in a long time. It's exciting."
>You kneel down once more and place your hand on the side of his head.
>He wiggles his head to try to get your hand off, but it's no use.
"So, uh, how's it work? Does it have to be love? There's different kinds of love, you know. Will they all work? Just one type?"
>You can't help but glance lower for a moment and frown.
"It doesn't have to be... You know. That kind of love, does it?"
>He finally managed to flinch hard enough to get your hand off of him.
>"Will you shut up?"
 
>You remain kneeling near him, but shut your mouth and keep your hands to yourself.
>"It's very complicated, and I don't have time to explain all the finer details, but essentially any... 'Loving' emotion towards a changeling gives them energy and strength."
>You tilt your head slightly.
"Aww... Like a little love battery."
>He frowns at you once more.
>"Stop doing that."
>You ignore his objections and scoop him up into your arms, hugging him against your chest as you sit cross-legged on the floor.
"Shh, it's alright."
>His voice is muffled against your chest.
>"Stop it. I said stop it."
>You gently stroke his head.
"Don't make this weird."
>"It 'is' weird!"
"Don't fight it. Feel the love, man."
>You weren't sure if simply giving a legit fuck about him would count as 'love,' but it's all you had.
>Hugging him was just to help a bit.
>You tried imagining he was an adorable puppy.
>A large, black, chitinous puppy with huge aqua eyes and a foul disposition towards being hugged by humans he never met before.
>Perfect.
>He groans his opposition, but eventually stays quiet, and at one point you swear he nuzzled you a little.
>You weren't going to say anything, of course.
>Might ruin it.
>Finally, he coughs a few times and pushes you away gently.
>You stand up and brush off your shirt a little.
>Chitin flakes.
>He stretches a bit, and you can hear some of his limbs crack.
>It would appear he gained quite a bit of his strength back.
>Guess it worked.
>He still has all of his injuries, but at least now he can move.
"There. That wasn't so hard."
>He nods at you before his horn flashes green.
>When the light dies down, he appears to be a guard,
>A bruised and battered guard, but a guard nonetheless.
>He then spends a moment studying you inquisitively.
>You look down at yourself and then back up at him, holding out your arms.
"What?"
>"Strange. Usually the love siphoning process leaves the victim drained and fatigued."
"Meh, I don't feel any- Wait, the victim?"
 
>He turns away from you quickly and coughs a few times.
>"Uh, right, we should be escaping, right? Well, we'd better get to it. Don't want to get caught after all this, do we? Heh, no, that'd be terrible."
>With that he trots towards the door and stops just short of it before turning back to you.
>"Coming?"
>You roll your eyes and walk up to him.
"Fine, but we're gonna talk about this later."
>You put your hand on the door and begin mumbling under your breath.
"Pfft, victim. Fucking bug half my size making me a victim. I'd make him a victim, of my fist, to his face. His cute little black face."
>"Are you talking?"
"Your fucking face."
>You push the door open, and he tilts his head as you both exit into the hallway.
"Alright, so let me do the talking if we run into anyone."
>He limps along beside you as you slowly make your way through the twists and turns.
>You're honestly a bit surprised those guards obeyed your orders and kept the area clear.
>Lucky.
>"Anon? Where are you going?"
>You turn around a see another guard walk out from one of the side rooms.
>Think fast, dammit.
"Oh, me?"
>You glance around quickly before pointing at your changeling guard.
"I'm taking this guy tot he infirmary. The changeling escaped somehow and he attacked this guard before vanishing. I tried to catch him, but he moved too fast. Quick, go find the two guards that were supposed to be taking care of this and tell them to search the whole castle. He must be found!"
>"The changeling escaped? How?!"
"Now, dammit! Move!"
>He jumps a bit before running down the hall.
>"Great. Now they're going to ask where the guard is that was supposedly taken to the infirmary."
>You begin walking once more in silence.
"Shut up. We'll be out of here by then."
>He looks down.
>"I'll be out of here. You'll have to explain yourself."
>You shrug.
"I'll figure something out. It's what I do."
 
>You both continue without further incident.
>Before you know it, you're both standing quite a ways from the castle, completely out of sight.
"Huh. That was easier than I expected."
>After determining the area seemed secluded enough, your changeling acquaintance removed his disguise and sighed in relief.
>"Yes, that went much more smoothly than I had imagined."
>He stretches a bit once more, attempting to relieve himself of the knots throughout his body.
>You stare at him for a minute and he seems to ignore you.
>Or rather, he pretends not to notice.
"So..."
>"What?"
"What what? You know what."
>"Can't say that I do."
>You fold your arms.
"What was that about the victim being drained?"
>He looks nervous as he attempts to explain.
>"Oh, uh, that's just one of the side effects from having your love absorbed. Can't be helped."
>You frown at him.
>"What? It's nothing permanent. A good rest will pick them right back up. We're really lucky you didn't get fatigued. That would have made escaping a lot more difficult."
>You keep frowning, and he offers up a small chuckle and a weak grin.
"Right."
>"It all worked out though, didn't it?"
>He looks around a little and digs a bit at the ground for no apparent reason.
>"So, what happens now?"
"Now... I let you go gather up your friends and tell them to get ready to leave, and then you come back and find me so I can escort you all personally."
>He stops digging and looks back up at you.
>He seems a bit surprised.
>"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
>You nod at him.
>"Okay. How will I find you?"
>You look around a little.
"I'm sure you'll find me easy enough."
>He turns around and begins to walk away.
>"Alright then. I'll see you soon."
>You walk forward a few paces and hold up your hand.
"Hey wait, one last thing."
>He turns back and looks at you.
>"What?"
"What's your name?"
 
>He flinches a bit at the question.
>"M-my name?"
>You shrug.
"Ya, your name. You already know I'm Anon... and you are...?"
>He tilts his head a little as you wait patiently and awkwardly for a moment.
>You raise your eyebrows at the steadily growing wait time for such a simple question.
>Finally, he answers as if he's unsure how to respond.
>"We generally don't have individual titles. We are organized by natural capabilities and experience. I myself am part of Swarm Eleven, which is responsible for Swarms Twenty-Four, Twenty-Five, and Thirty-Nine."
>You squint at him and scratch the back of your neck.
>He coughs once.
>"Strictly speaking, of course. You, uh, you'll keep all that to yourself, right?"
>Your arms fall limply to your sides.
"I don't even know what you just said."
>He sighs in relief.
>"That's probably for the best."
"Whatever."
>You snap your fingers a bit as you think.
"Okay, what should I call you, then?"
>He stares at you blankly.
>Now he definitely doesn't know how to respond.
>"I... Don't know names."
>You pace a little as you continue thinking.
"Fine, I'll just think of something to call you."
>He frowns at your proposal.
>"You're just going to 'give' me a name, like some lowly pet?"
>You roll your eyes at him.
"So you know even our pets have names, but you guys don't have them? Where does that put you on the totem pole? Hm?"
>He groans a bit, but says nothing, and you turn away before talking some more.
>Mostly to yourself.
"Besides, I need something to call you, and you're not exactly throwing out ideas."
>"Fine, get on with it. I'd prefer to be as far away from here as quickly as possible."
>You turn around and look him over.
"Fair enough. Hmm..."
>He sits in silence on the ground, staring at you as he awaits his new pet title.
 
>You clap your hands together.
"I got it. How about Kalakcha?"
>His expression quickly turns to confusion.
>"What? What is that?"
>You raise your shoulders a bit.
"It's a name."
>"A name? It sounds like you just cleared your throat."
"Kay, first of all, clearing my throat would sound a lot more phlemmy, and second, I still haven't heard you suggest anything."
>He rolls his eyes at you in frustration.
>"That's because it doesn't matter."
>He stands back up.
>"That word will be a suitable title which you may address me as from now on to fulfill your need for individuality. Can I go now?"
>You give a mocking partial bow.
"Very well, Kalakcha. You may go."
>He huffs a little as he turns around to leave.
>For a moment, he hesitates, but then trots away as briskly as his injuries allow him.
>You watch him until eventually he vanishes in the distance.
>Once he's gone, a realization dawns upon you.
>You just released the only prisoner they had to locate other bugs.
>A prisoner that they resorted to torturing in their desperation for information.
>A prisoner that only you had access to at the time of his disappearance.
>You take a deep breath and begin your walk back to the castle.
"I'm sure it's fine."
>Better think of a good excuse.
 
>Immediately upon entering the castle you are swarmed by multiple guards, among them are the two who performed the torture sessions.
>They're the first to speak up.
>"What happened?! How did you let him escape?"
>You put on your best annoyed face before replying.
"Look, I was making great headway with gathering information when I heard a guard knock on the door. I 'thought' I told everyone to stay the fuck away while I worked him over, so I pushed it wide open without thinking anything of it. I was instantly jumped by what I'm assuming was his friends, but they looked like guards."
>One of them chuckles mockingly.
>"Pfeh, you were over powered by a few changelings?"
>You glare at him, but it's far less effective than it used to be.
"They hit me as I turned around. I told the one guard I saw to leave, turned around to get back to work, and was hit from behind. They knocked me out clean with a cheap shot."
>You rub the back of your "tender" head.
"Next thing I knew, I was waking up to an empty room with a massive headache."
>"What about the injured guard?"
>You look over at the guard from earlier, who is giving you a genuinely concerned look.
"Oh, I left the room and found him in the hallway. Apparently he had tried to stop the changelings when they didn't reply to his questions, but with the element of surprise they made quick work of him."
>"Is he alright?"
>You nod.
"It turned out to be less serious than it seemed. He was sent home."
>You hear a cough come from one of the other guards.
>"Uh, sir. I worked the infirmary all day and I saw no such individual."
>You shrug.
"Well, of course you didn't. I sent him home myself once he insisted he was fine and I gave him a quick look-over."
>The guard in charge of the torturing steps forward.
>"The Princess will be furious once she discovers you lost our only prisoner. That was the only means we had to quickly discover the remaining insect forces in the area."
>You scratch your neck, giving it some thought.
 
"Just tell her it was my fault, and that I'm already working on fixing the whole thing."
>He frowns at you.
>His faith in you was completely shattered, but then again it wasn't his faith you needed.
"Tell her to trust me."
>"Very well. I won't stop you from signing your own death warrant."
>With that, most of the guards walk away, heading back to their regular duties or to brief and get new instructions from sunbutt and moonbutt.
>A few stay behind to ask you more details, more interested in what changelings look and fight like than getting actual results.
>They wanted some bar stories.
>You were more than happy to give them a few.
>You spent the remainder of the day lingering about the castle, waiting to be summoned by one of the princesses.
>Much to your surprise, no such summons came.
>With the day almost over, you elected to show yourself out and head home.
>You walk out of the castle and into the crisp, cool air of late dusk.
>The wind brushes past you as you make your way down the nearly empty road.
>Most of the folks in Canterlot are, to put it simply, snobs.
>They always turn in early.
>Rather quickly, you find yourself in front of your modest home.
>It's comfortable, nothing too fancy.
>It suits you just fine.
>With a deep sigh, you take in one last lung-full of the night air before walking inside.
>You kick off your shoes as you walk, allowing them to land wherever.
>They can wait till morning.
>You've had a long day.
>You grab a cup of water chug it down, and then make your way to your bedroom, rubbing your face all the while.
>"You were right. It was easy to find you."
>You stop in your tracks and pull your hands down away from your face just enough to look around.
>There, sitting near a shelf of your random crap, was Kalakcha.
>"You have a lot of strange items."
>Seems personal space wasn't something they knew about either, if the way he was snooping through your stuff was any indication.
 
"What the hell? Why are you here?"
>He turns and gives you a confused look.
>"You said to come find you again after I got back to my Swarm. So here I am."
>You bring your hands back up over your face and let our an audible moan.
"Not 'right' after you found them. I thought you'd be at least a full day from coming back, if you came back at all."
>He looks a little insulted, and his tone hints it just slightly as well.
>"If I came back? I gave you my word."
>You let your hands fall away from your face so you can use them to help emote your speech with various useless hand waves.
"Ya, you did, but c'mon, I just met you, and I don't know anything about changelings. I 'hoped' you'd stick to your word-"
>"And I did."
>You nod, too exhausted to deal with this shit right now.
"Yes, yes you did."
>You continue walking towards your room.
>Kalakcha sets down a few of your things before turning back to you.
>"Hey wait, what's the plan now?"
>You don't even turn to look at him as you walk towards your comfortable bed.
"Now the plan is to sleep. A lot."
>You wave one of your hands next to your head dismissively.
"In fact, I might just not wake up at all."
>"At all? But we need to leave, and the sooner the better."
>He begins following you, and his voice becomes slightly more frantic as he speaks.
>"We can't stay here. It's not safe! What if-"
"What if the moon exploded?"
>You turn off the lights on your way in.
>Soon, the moonlight is all that's providing light.
>He blinks at your question a few times before realizing that wasn't a real question.
>You unbutton your shirt and toss it to the side. Next come your pants and socks, then you happily slide into your soft, cool bed.
>It's welcoming embrace will soon take you off to dream land.
>"What are you doing?"
>Your reply only barely sounds coherent.
"Sleeping. I just said."
 
>Silence fills your dim room for a moment.
>"What should I do?"
"Go to sleep. I'm sure you can find the couch."
>Silence once more.
>"Oh. Yes, I suppose we could both benefit from some rest."
"Do you need a pillow or something?"
>More silence, and no reply comes.
>You lift your head for a second and open your eyes.
>He's no longer in the room.
"Guess not."
>With that, you lay back down and allow yourself to pass out.
 
>"Wake up, Anon. The morning is here."
>You hear the words, and feel something prodding your chest, but you refuse to believe it's happening.
>Still, it continues.
>"Hurry up, we're wasting time."
>Very slowly, and with great effort, you manage to open your crusty eyes enough to get an idea of what was going on.
>Kalakcha was standing on top of you, looking quite anxious.
>Mostly what you noticed was it was still dark.
>Goddamit.
>You roll over onto your side and curl up.
"Is not der."
>"What?"
"I said the sun isn't even up. Go back to sleep."
>You can feel him shift around a bit on your bed.
>"But I'm fully rested..."
>You take a deep breath and try to speak as you exhale.
"So find something to do."
>You can feel him sit on your bed.
>"What should I do?"
>You attempt to give what you think is an answer, but all that comes out are various incoherent guttural sounds.
>Eventually you feel jump jump off your bed and hear him land on the floor.
>Directly after that, you're fast asleep once more.
 
>All too soon, you're awoken once more by the sound of Kalakcha and his incessant prodding of your chest with his hoof.
>"The sun has risen. Will you wake up now?"
>You pry open your eyes once more, but this time you're greeted by a blinding light.
>Fucking sun.
"Uhhhhnnnn..."
>You manage to sit up and scratch various areas of your body while you attempt to gain the necessary strength required to make your way to the coffee brewer.
>"Forgive my insult, but you are very slow to rise. What if you were attacked?"
"What if the sun exploded?"
>He instantly frowns at you.
>Didn't have to think about it this time.
>You finally manage to push yourself out of your comfortable, inviting bed and make your way down to the kitchen.
>You can hear Kalakcha following you.
>He's likely eager to begin your trip, but as of this moment you have only one mission.
>Get coffee.
>You toss the ground up beans into your relatively large brewing machine, along with some water, and watch it come to life with magic.
>You never understood why certain stuff can just function with magic even though there's seemingly no source, but whatever.
>It gets you what you want.
>Before long you're pouring yourself a delicious cup of the deep black nectar.
>You hold it up to your face and take a deep inhale.
>A grin spreads across your face.
>Perfect.
>You take a small sip and turn around.
>Your brew had returned many of your senses back to normal, and with them you noticed something very odd.
>Luckily you manage to catch yourself before the cup clips from your hand.
"You... You cleaned?"
>You pan across your now immaculate house.
>It wasn't exactly a sty before, but there was plenty of shit that needed to be done that you kept putting off.
>Always tomorrow.
>"Your dwelling was very disorganized. It was... Troubling."
>You take another sip of your coffee and chuckle.
"You're a clean freak?"
>He gives you an inquisitive look.
>"I'm not sure I understand?"
>You shake your head.
"Nothing. Thanks."
 
>He nods.
>"When things are disorganized, you are more likely to make mistakes. Such is the case with all things."
"Wouldn't want to trip over a rogue pair of pants would I?"
>Your sarcastic remark gets a small grin out of him.
>Seems he's at least figuring out what humor is.
>"A bad tumble is all it would take."
"Oh hey, you made a funny."
>You take another drink of your coffee before turning around to find another cup.
>He observes as you set your cup down to pour more coffee into this new cup.
>"What is that?"
>Of course he doesn't know what coffee is.
>Poor guy.
"This is what we call necturu el guados, or in a real language, nectar of the gods."
>"It doesn't have a very pleasant smell..."
>You grab a few extra ingredients.
"Well, you're a bug. I bet you have a sweet tooth, dontcha?"
>"A what?"
>You finish assembling the now tan beverage, complete with cream and generous amounts of sugar, before passing it off to your little buddy.
>He takes it into his green aura and levitates it down to his muzzle where he gives it a few sniffs.
>He looks up at you with a grimace.
>You return to your own cup and raise it up.
"Cheers."
>You take another large sip of your life juice.
>He takes a tentative taste, fully expecting to be disgusted.
>You nod at him with a grin.
>With a few lip smacks, his eyes begin to shimmer and he smiles.
>"Oh, wow!"
>With that, he takes a much more generous sip.
"Not bad?"
>"I've never had anything like this. It has an amazing taste."
>Ya, sweet tooth.
"Glad you like it. Just wait till later when it makes you explode, not much unlike the sun and the moon."
>He rolls his eyes and continues drinking.
>"So, when shall we leave?"
>You shrug.
"After breakfast will be fine... You do eat normal food, right?"
>"I'm not sure what your normal food is."
>You think for a moment.
>It only takes a moment for the answer to become clear.
>Time for pancakes.
 
>You get to work immediately.
>A lifetime of laziness when it came to cooking had turned you into a master craftsman at a very select list of recipes.
>Pancakes was on that list, right up near the top.
>Kalakcha watches from across the room as you pull various dishes from multiple cupboards and begin tossing ingredients inside.
>It's a veritable storm of mixing and tossing things around.
>With a flip of a switch, your oven roars to life.
>You place down your well-worn frying pan and begin pouring in the mix.
>He's somewhat interested in your vigorous cooking display, but he's still too distracted by his coffee to pay too much attention.
>Before he knows it, you're dropping a stack of golden discs in front of him.
>They're so fluffy that they bounce when they hit his plate.
"Breakfast is served."
>He takes a sniff of yet another new bounty you've offered him that day, although this time he's far more trusting.
>"I'm sure this has a name as well?"
>You drop a stack on your own plate and take a seat.
"Of course. These are known as cakuru el la es pisso, or golden cakes in your tongue."
>He leans in a bit.
>"They look and smell decent."
>Before you can say anything else, he takes a quick bite of one of them and chews it for a bit.
>He swallows and then frowns.
>"It's not as good as the nectar of the gods you provided."
>You pick up a knife and the butter dish.
"No shit. Nothing is as good as the nectar of the gods, but this comes close. Besides, you forgot some things. Look."
>He watches you spread the butter across your golden pancakes and then promptly drown them in syrup.
>After you take your first bite, he mimics your action and takes another bite.
>Once again, his eyes light up.
>"Oh... Oh I see... They weren't fully assembled before, but now they're delicious!"
>You grin.
>This guy can make everything seem like a fucking miracle.
>It made you a little giddy seeing someone enjoy something you made for their first time.
"Glad-"
>*THUD THUD*
 
>Your sentence is cut short by a knock at your door.
>Instinctively, you stand up to go answer, but halfway there you remember your 'guest.'
>You turn around to see him happily munching his pancakes with his eyes closed.
>Seems he forgot where he was as well.
"Hey!"
>You hiss at him with a loud, raspy whisper.
>He opens his eyes and looks over at you.
>You point frantically at the door.
>His eyes go wide as the sudden realization floods over him.
>Too late to run, someone would likely notice.
>Can't just hide, they'd ask what the extra food and stuff was for.
>He looks at you pleadingly.
>You wave your hands up and down your body, mouthing the word 'change' silently at him.
>In a flash, he's once again the battered up guard from before.
>*THUD THUD*
"Ya, ya, I'm coming."
>You shout towards the door as you turn back around to go answer it.
>You hoped it was some random guard, here to check up on you and ask about yesterday, or maybe even one of your Canterlot friends here to pay you a random visit.
>As you opened the door, your heart sank, but you smiled anyway.
>Must remain calm.
>"Greetings, Anon. I thought I'd stop by so we could discuss what occurred at the castle in privacy."
>Perfectly.
>Calm.
>Screaming internally.
"Sure Sunbutt, come on in."
>She frowns at your nickname, but she's mostly grown used to it by now.
>As she steps inside and looks around, you close the door behind her.
"I'm surprised you found time for a personal visit."
>"Well, this is a very important matter. One that I feel deserves my full attention... Is that-"
>She looks into the dining area near the kitchen and sees the guard enjoying his pancakes.
>At least the delectable delights you saddles him with are keeping him distracted.
>"Hello?"
>She approaches him, and he looks up and swallows harshly.
>The fear in his eyes is apparent, even to you.
>Shit.
>More internal screaming through your outward smile.
 
>"P-princess Celestia..."
>He managed to spit the words out and he jumps out of his chair to kneel.
>She waves her hoof.
>"No, no, please, it's quite alright. You must be the guard that was injured in the attack that I heard about. I understand that you wish you take some time to recover."
>He looks up at her with a blank expression.
>"Uh..."
>You instantly cut in.
"Yes, that's exactly what I told him he should do. In fact, I invited him here so I could help him a bit. You know, take care of him while he heals. He's worse than he looks."
>With that, he stand sup fully and lifts up a hoof limply.
>"Y-yes Princess, I'm very sorry I couldn't make it back to my post."
>She holds up her hoof once more.
>"The health and well-being of my subjects is my foremost concern. Please get well before you return to the castle."
>He smiles a bit.
>"Thank you Princess."
"Uh, Celestia, as far as the incident you wanted to talk about is concerned, there's really not much more I can say other than what I've already told your other guards, especially since I was knocked out for most of the actual escape."
>She looks back around at you.
>"That is unfortunate, but luckily it would seem there is another in our midst who might have more of the story to tell."
>With that, she smiles down at Kalakcha, the battered castle guard.
>"Please share what you can recall. Anything you tell me, while it may seem insignificant, will assist me greatly."
>He looks a little nervous once again, but nods in response.
>"Very well, Princess."
>He sits back down on his chair and thinks for a bit.
>It looks like he's attempting to recall events, but you know better.
>You guys never even made up a story together.
>All they knew was what you told them.
>"I was on my regular patrol through the halls when I was approached by a strange looking individual."
>She tilts her head slightly.
>"Oh? Which halls?"
>Shit.
 
>"The... Uh... I'm sorry, I can't seem to recall my specific location at the time. Most of my memory is fuzzy because of what happened next."
>He rubs the back of his head.
>"You see, while this individual was getting my attention, I was struck from behind. All I remember after that was seeing Anon looking over my injuries. Once I regained my senses, he walked me out of the castle."
>The sun princess nods at him as he finishes his story.
>"It is very fortunate you were left alive, though I wonder why they attacked you so viciously after you were knocked unconscious, yet Anon hardly has a scratch."
>The observation catches him off-guard, but you answer for him.
"They probably have a grudge against your guards, what with the failed attack and all. They don't even know who I am... I think."
>She looks down at the ground.
>"Hmm, I suppose that is true, although you were the one in the torture chamber at the time, correct? I'm surprised they didn't blame you for the deed."
>You shrug.
"I'm just a lucky guy."
>She smiles at you.
>"That must be it."
>She then stares at your table covered in breakfast contents for a moment.
>"It seems I interrupted your meal. If this is all either of you can recall, then I shall be on my way."
>She turns around and begins walking towards the door.
"Sorry we couldn't be more help. I'm sure we'll figure something out, though."
>She nods in your direction as she continues walking.
>"Indeed. Thank you for your assistance."
>You leap in front of her to pull open the door so she doesn't have to.
>"Thank you Anon, have a pleasant day."
>She walks out onto your porch and turns around.
"No problem."
>"Oh, and one more thing. I'll be back to check up on our friend tomorrow to make sure he's doing alright. I feel awful that one of my subjects was hurt so severely, and in my own castle no less. See you then."
>With that, she turns back around and climbs into her golden chariot which is promptly pulled into the sky once she's seated.
 
>For a long time, you just stand there with the door open, staring at nothing.
>"Is she gone?"
>A familiar voice snaps you back to reality.
"What? Oh, ya, she's gone..."
>You close your door and turn around.
"But, uh..."
>He tilts his head and gives you a worried expression, still in guard form.
"She's going to come back tomorrow to check up on you."
>He lifts up a hoof in a questioning gesture.
>"But we're not going to be here tomorrow... Oh... No."
"Sorry, man."
>"No, we can't just stay here. She's going to figure it out eventually!"
>You shrug.
"Ya, well, if we suddenly vanish she's going to know what we did and I'm not sure how she'll react to that. I'd be royally fucked."
>He was very torn by this fact.
>One one hoof, staying put him in danger.
>On the other, leaving meant selling out Anon, the one who helped him in the first place.
>He groans.
"When did you tell your friends you'd be back?"
>He rubs his head.
>"I didn't give them a specific time, I merely said to expect us soon, but to leave and not come looking for me if we delayed too long."
>You raise an eyebrow.
"Expected to get thrown back into the torture room or something?"
>He rolls his eyes.
>"It's a basic contingency plan. I don't want any more of my Swarm being caught for the sake of one."
"Whatever you say."
>He looks down at the floor in silence, and you just stand there looking around your house for no discernible reason.
>You sigh deeply before speaking up once more.
"Well, should we finish breakfast?"
>He looks back up towards the table and smirks.
>"That sounds like a good idea."
 
>You both finish your breakfast in relative silence, thinking about what just happened and what it could mean.
>Perhaps you could go anyway and see to it they leave like you said you would.
>The princess couldn't be too angry if you got rid of them like she wanted, right?
>That was your original plan, but a new thought had been growing in your mind ever since last night when Kalakcha actually kept his word and returned.
>Making them all leave was a temporary solution.
>What if a permanent one could be found?
>You did say you wanted to help both sides, which means finding a way to help out the bugs.
>What you meant was helping him and his group, but now you think you could do more.
>All you needed was some time to figure shit out.
>Time which you were pretty sure would soon be in short supply.
>You look up from your half-finished food at him.
>Seems like he's been done eating for a while, but is still sitting there quietly staring at his empty dishes.
>You failed to notice before, but now you realize he's also still in his guard form.
"I think it's safe to change back now."
>He blinks a few times as if you broke a trance.
>In a flash of green light, he's back to his original self.
"There. That's better, right?"
>He shrugs.
>You frown.
>"So what's the new plan? Am I to remain here for an undetermined amount of time?"
>He finally looks up at you with concern in his eyes.
>You lean back in your chair a little and sigh.
"I don't really have a plan yet, but ya, I think you're going to be my guest for at least a while longer."
>He looks back down again.
>"It would also seem I have no choice in the matter. I appreciate that you want to help, but this has become just another type of prison."
>A prison?
"What do you mean?"
>"If I'm not free to leave when I wish, it's as if I'm still locked away."
 
>That's a depressing thought, but not entirely true, either.
>You stand up to collect the dishes and start washing them off in the kitchen.
"Dunno what you're on about, but we don't have to stay here."
>Now it was his turn to be confused.
>"What do you mean?"
>You chuckle a bit.
"You're a changeling. As far as anyone knows, though, you're just some injured guard that I'm helping."
>He doesn't talk, so you continue.
"So you can go anywhere or do anything any guard could do- er, assuming you can keep up the appearance. How's that work, anyway?"
>His mood seems to lift a bit with this revelation.
>"That's true. What do you mean how does it work?"
>You finish drying off the last dish and put it in your cupboard before turning around and leaning against the counter.
"Like, does being in some other form consume a bunch of magic? Is it hard to sustain? Do you really change, or what?"
>He shrugs and changes back into a guard with a flash of green light.
>"It takes more magic to take a new form than one you've done before, but it does slowly drain your magic over time as you sustain the spell."
>With that, he hops up out of the chair and walks over to you.
>"It's also merely an illusion. See for yourself."
>He holds a hoof up to you.
>You bend down and take it in your hand.
>It looks exactly like a regular pony hoof no matter how hard you study it, but it feels just like his regular chitin.
"That's pretty cool."
>He pulls his hoof back lets the spell break.
>"The casual observer will think we're perfectly normal. We're meant to blend in, but if someone were to get too close, we might get caught."
>You nod.
"So how did you get caught, exactly?"
>He looks away and rubs the back of his neck
>"Oh, well, uh..."
>You prop up and eyebrow.
>"It's a little embarrassing..."
>You smirk.
>This should be good.
 
>He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.
>"I'm only telling you because I don't think you'll be sharing the story with anyone. Especially my swarm."
>You nod.
"Sure thing, man."
>"Fine. I was caught because..."
>You lean forward a bit and your smirk spreads into a full powered smile.
>"I fell asleep at my post."
>Your smile stays frozen on your face, but only because you don't believe that's the end.
>He looks up at you and grimaces.
>You circle your hand in the air in front of your chest, gesturing for him to continue.
>He remains silent.
"That's it?"
>Your smile finally fades.
>"Yes. It was disgraceful. I was supposed to be watching the area for guards out on patrol, but it had been the same spot for so many days and I never saw even a single guard in that time. I got sleepy one night and decided there wouldn't be any harm in resting my eyes for a bit. When I woke up, I was in shackles and being dragged to the castle by a pair of royal guards."
>You frown.
>The story you expected was a lot more juicy in multiple ways.
>Can't be helped, you guess.
"Well, that sucks I guess. I just thought it would have been something... Eh, nevermind."
>His ears perk up in curiousity.
>"You thought what?"
>Your turn to look nervous.
>You scratch the back of your neck.
"I just thought it would have been something more... I dunno, just worse?"
>He frowns.
>"There is nothing worse than failing to guard your post due to laziness."
>Agree to disagree.
"Sure. I can see why that bothers you."
>He tilts his head at you.
>"What exactly did you think could be worse?"
>You shrug.
"It's just... You just barely taught me that the whole changing thing is only an illusion. I thought maybe you got too close to someone, or someone got too close to you, or something."
 
>He sits back down in front of you.
>"We're a lot more careful than that. We don't walk too close to ponies or through crowded areas, but we also don't go out of our way to avoid them in a suspicious manner."
>That's not-
"That's good thinking."
>He shrugs.
>"It's common sense."
>For a moment you both just stand there in silence.
>You're the first to break it.
"Well then, what did you want to do? We can hang out here, but I don't have much. We could go somewhere else."
>You lean back against the counter once more while you wait for him to decide.
>"I actually spent most of my time on the outskirts of the city, waiting for signs of those we were searching for. I'm not sure what there is around here."
>You push yourself off the counter and give his head a quick rub, to which he gives you a confused and irritated look.
"So I should treat you like a tourist, then? That's fine. Just get dressed and we can head out."
>He doesn't catch that joke right away, but as you walk towards the door you see the flash of light in your peripheral vision.
>You pull open the door and he trots out in front of you as that familiar guard, favoring one leg over the other.
>Must still be injured.
>You close the door behind you and begin your trek.
>You make sure to walk slow enough that it won't strain him too much to keep up as he walks beside you.
>"So where are we going?"
>You slide your hands into your pockets.
"Not sure yet, what do you normally do for fun?"
>He grins a bit as he responds.
>"Well, my hive has a game most of us enjoy called capture the pony. Each team has a certain number of ponies on it, disguised changelings of course, and regular changelings, and each team tries to capture all the ponies on the other team first while keeping as many of their own ponies hidden."
"As entertaining as that sounds, I don't think that's something we can go do."
>He nods.
>"Agreed. I'm far too injured already to be playing such a game."
 
>You look over at him.
"What, you guys get hurt doing this?"
>He chuckles.
>"Only if you're slow enough to get caught, or bad at fighting. Even as a pretend pony you don't willingly let yourself get caught. Usually they're the ones that get damaged the most, though. They get teamed up on. We always make the newly initiated be the ponies."
>You can't help but imagine a bunch of these little guys tackling each other.
>You're sure it's plenty painful in practice, but it just looks so adorable in your mind.
"Sounds fun, at least."
>He looks up at you as you look ahead once more.
>"You should try it sometime. I'm sure you'd be a difficult opponent."
>You laugh a bit at the idea.
"Sure, but only if I get to be the little pony."
>He smiles.
>"That would make a very interesting game. You look easy enough to catch, but from what I've gathered you would be very difficult to subdue."
>You look back down at him once again.
"What'd you gather that makes you say that?"
>He looks away.
>"Oh, uh, nothing important... Just, big. You know, compared to us."
>That was obvious from the first moment he laid eyes on you and it scared the shit out of him.
>You shrug.
"That's not news."
>"Heh, well, that's all it would take, right?"
>You decide to brush it off for now.
>Mainly because you were already at your destination.
>You look up at the enourmous building and grin.
>Kalakcha looks up and tilts his head.
>"What is this place?"
>You nudge him out of the way of the main crowd walking in and out of the structure.
"This, my friend, is usually a boring equivalent of a cardboard box you forget about in your attic, but today it's going to be a fun journey of discovery."
 
>With your introduction out of the way, you somewhat rudely force the few ponies walking on the path out of the way.
>They forgive you a little when they notice you're only trying to keep the poor, injured guard from being run into by distracted ponies.
>The first place both of you look is up.
>In the ceiling there's a couple of deeply engraved symbols that anyone would recognize immediately as the rulers' cutie marks.
>The one of the sun is made of various warm colors of glass, giving it a fiery and bright appearance.
>The one of the moon is its counterpart with its cool colors, giving it a soothing moonlight appearance.
>Their design seems to make them look appropriate in either sun or moonlight.
>"Oh... The architecture is impressive, though the glass would be an easy entry point."
"Ignoring that and moving on."
>You gently nudge him to get him moving.
>He looks all around as he follows behind you, though it's hard to read what he's thinking.
>Most of the junk near the entrance is just old art and stuff.
>Nothing terribly interesting.
>Howeve, as you get further into one of the side rooms you begin seeing suits of armor and various weapons, as well as replicated battle scenes with history quotes on plaques.
>Nothing grisly.
>It was all the heroic sides of war.
>"I recognize much of this equipment. We were trained to use and defend against it."
>He walks up to a suit of what is labeled as "Pre-classical Era Armour" and begins tapping the plates.
>"See this? The overall design was supposed to offer more mobility and a lighter weight, but it came with a cost."
>He lifts a few plates with a hoof and turns around to look at you.
>If you didn't know any better, you'd say he was excited.
>"There's two key links under this single plate. If you severe both, this plate slides out and leaves a large open area on the back exposed."
 
>He glanced over at the next suit and trotted over before turning back to you.
>"This was the next version. It fixed a few of the old one's design flaws, but introduced new flaws."
>He one again lifts a few plates and points areas out to you.
>"See, they added extra materials in vital areas, hoping it would keep the key links safe. It did, but it also ended up hindering quick movements which is even more vital in battle. This particular design is pretty rare since it wasn't used for very long."
>By now a small group of ponies had started following you two around, listening to his insights and talking amongst themselves.
>He seems largely oblivious to them as he continues explaining things to you.
>"This suit right here changed how wars were fought. It was the first suit that could be worn by any race of ponies without interfering with their movement. It wasn't as great as a specialized suit would be, but this meant that any race could quickly craft large quantities of armor and it could be used by any of their allies."
>He taps it a few times before clicking a few plates into place, shifting how the side plates sit.
>He opened up a space where a pegasus could push his wings through and the plates would click back up into place under the wing.
>He takes a step back and grins.
>"It's a work of art."
>From inside the small crowd, you hear a voice of objection.
>"Um, pardon me sir. Under normal circumstances we wouldn't allow patrons to touch the displays, but it's not everyday we have a member of the royal guard itself giving history lessons."
>You both turn and see the pony speaking.
>From his stuffy appearance, you'd assume he's the curator.
>You look back at Kalakcha, who gives you a shrug.
 
>You give him the universal sign for "go for it," which is your basic thumbs up.
>Though now that you think about it, you doubt that has the same meaning here.
>"Uh, alright?"
>He moves on to the next set.
>This should be good.
>"Oh, this is a fairly modern changeling set."
>Must be very modern.
>It looks exactly like the set he has on when he's not in his guard form.
>At least to you.
>"The helmet sits apart from the chest plate to give the head the most movement, allowing them to look around quickly as they fly. The chest plate itself was designed to cover vital areas while having the least weight possible for maximum movement abilities and to reduce fatigue from traveling long distances."
>While he gave his lesson on armor, you glanced over the plaque sitting in front of the set.
>A few sentences that stood out were "recovered after the assault on Canterlot," as well as a few sentences that contradicted what he just explained.
"Uh, according to this, the armor is minimal because there's so many changelings and they have scarce any materials in their lands."
>He gives you an insulted look.
>"No, that's incorrect."
>You give him your best "shut up" expression before continuing.
"It was written by Canterlot's foremost changeling researcher. I think he knows what he's talking about."
>Apparently your hint went right over his head.
>"Whoever he is, he obviously doesn't know the first thing about changelings. The armor works with their naturally thick skin, as well as what I mentioned before. It has nothing to do with-"
>The curator steps forward and begins rubbing his chin with a hoof.
>"That's very fascinating. You seem to have a passion for changeling lore. We're you, perhaps, part of the defense against the changeling invasion?"
>He stammers on his explanation and gives the curator an inquisitive look.
 
>Time for you to intervene.
"Actually, yes, he was. In fact, he even got hurt recently while on duty while out fighting, uh, changelings, somewhere."
>You glare down at him.
"Isn't that right?"
>This time it seems to work as his expression and stance changes.
>"Uh, yes, I was. That's, uh, where I learned all of this. I watched them moving in battle. In the invasion."
>The smoothest.
>"The helmets are also only worn by squad leaders to-"
"I think we've talked enough about history for now. These ponies have places to be, I'm sure, and we have to get going or you'll be late."
>Before waiting for him or anyone else to respond, you begin pushing him away from the group.
>You hear the curator call behind you guys.
>"Erm, thanks for the informative lecture, sir!"
>After you get a short distance away he finally voices his objections.
>"I can't believe what they teach as fact here. If you don't know something for sure, you shouldn't be telling ponies it's true!"
>You glance around to make sure no one is in the immediate area before leaning down to his ear and whispering harshly.
"You're a changeling! You're supposed to be blending in, not teaching random ponies about shit only you would know!"
>You pull your head back up to normal height and continue walking.
>You expected he would sperg out a little over all their junk, not go full professor and draw a crowd.
>He looks up at you and his face softens a bit from the frustrated scowl it once was from his previous rant.
>"History is something I really enjoy, and it's important to me."
>He shrugs a little.
>"I guess I just got a little too excited. Honestly it was all information I shouldn't have been sharing. I Don't understand. I'm usually far more composed."
>You sigh in response and manage to grin once more.
"Look, it was all interesting, but at least pretend like you don't want to get caught. Hm?"
>Soon it becomes obvious you're heading for the front door.
>"Are we leaving already?"
 
>You nod as you approach the door.
"Well, I actually planned on this lasting at least a few hours, but things don't always go according to plan, do they?"
>He grimaces a bit.
>"I hope we can come back soon. I'd love to see more of this place."
>You push open the doors and let Kalakcha walk out ahead of you, being sure that no ponies bump into him.
"We'll see how it goes, but now I have no idea how we should waste the day."
>He turns back to you as you cross your arms in contimplation.
>"Waste it? Days should not be wasted. There is always a task you could be performing to better yourself."
>You can't help but to chuckle a bit at his remark.
>If only he knew how much time you waste.
>Practically a lifetime.
>Your smile fades slightly.
>Shit, you made yourself sad.
"So, uh, what do you suggest, then? Cuz this was pretty much my only plan."
>You sits in front of you and holds up a hoof to his head.
>"You should always have more than one plan as well, in case one doesn't work."
>You squint down at him is disbelief.
>He tilts his head for a moment as he searches your face for meaning before standing up and voicing his objections.
>"My situation was entirely different."
"Sure it was. Now, what do you want to do?"
>"It was."
>He begins looking around.
>"I'd very much like to revisit the box in the attic."
>You pinch the top of your nose.
"No, we can't just go back in already, and that's not really what it is. It's a museum."
>He nods slightly.
>"I see. If the museum isn't unavailable, then I'd like to go somewhere similar."
 
>You scratch your chin as you think about your next move.
>Everything else just feels kind of dry compared to the museum, and that was already pretty cut and dry.
>A couple places come to mind.
>You shrug.
"What about the library? They have history and stuff, though it's less in the interesting way and more in the wordy way."
>He tilts his head slightly as he ponders it.
>"The library, hm? There's a lot of history stored there. We may find something interesting."
>You begin walking in the library's direction.
"I wouldn't count on it, but it's still worth seeing at least once."
>You shove your hands into your pockets and begin letting your mind wander back to previous inquiries.
>Nothing about this entire situation was sitting well with you.
>To begin with, why were none of the other guards suspicious at all?
>They trust you quite a bit, but not even a question?
>Maybe they thought they'd be inulting you just by suggesting you might be a traitor.
>You nod to yourself in silence.
>Hm, that would be pretty insulting, if it wasn't true in a way.
>You also wonder why Kalakcha came back to easily.
>Sure, he gave you his word, but that's still quite a bit of trust on his part for getting next to nothing in return.
>He already had his freedom, why-
>"Just going to stay quiet all the way there?"
>You instantly lose your train of thought and look over at the disguised bug who was giving you a curious look.
>You shrug.
"Why, was there something on your mind?"
>He looks ahead once more.
>"Nothing in particular, but you seemed to be fairly focused on something."
>You scoff in response.
"And your idea was to interupt that?"
>He doesn't look up at you as you both keep walking side by side.
>"Sorry, that wasn't my intention, but would you like to share what it is?"
>You look ahead once more as well.
"We'll talk about it later. It's not important."
>That was bullshit, but you had to think a little more before you felt comfortable bringing up anything.
 
>He gives a small nod.
>"Well, alright then. What about this library? Is there anything special about it?"
>No.
"Sure there is. It's, like, entirely carved granite, or something. I'm not good at rocks."
>"Hm, I suppose that's somewhat impressive."
>You hold your hands palm-up a bit to your sides.
"I even heard rumors it contains picture books, but I won't hold my breath."
>Kalakcha tilts his head slightly and frowns.
>"What would one need with a book of pictures?"
>Your mind instantly turns to dirtier things, and you can't help but break a small grin at the question.
"Depends how lonely you're feeling."
>"Reading is usually done alone."
>This time you manage a chuckle to go with your shit eating grin.
"It sure is."
>He doesn't understand why you think that's funny, and you keep walking side by side in silence for a bit.
>Just before the urge to break it rises, you find yourself in front of the library.
>Meh.
"Here we are, the happiest place in Equestria."
>Kalakcha looks up at the looming structure.
>The outside almost seems to be carved from one solid piece of stone, complete with many intricate designs and patterns chiseled into the surface.
>"More impressive architecture. I have to give the ponies credit on their ability to turn the mundane into something interesting."
>You shrug.
"What, you guys don't have large rock structures where you're from?"
>He begins speaking as he approaches the walls to get a closer look.
>"Our buildings serve their function. There's no reason for it to do more."
>It probably looks like something straight out of communism.
>Rows and rows of identical square structures.
"Sounds boring as hell."
>You walk past him and push open the door.
>There's far less activity here than at the museum, and you're quite sure you know why.
>The only thing to find here is books.
"Shall we?"
 
>He walks inside in front of you, and you follow behind.
>Your nostrils instantly fill with that familiar odor of a thousand old and musty books.
"Might as well grab something new to read when I'm bored. Feel free to explore."
>You begin walking towards the section you always find the interesting books in.
>Interesting as in they teach you absolutely nothing.
>Adventure.
>"Wait, you read?"
>You're a bit surprised to hear his voice behind you as you round a corner.
>You turn your head a bit so you can just barely make out his figure following you.
"Well, I have a lot of spare time usually, and there's not a whole lot to do around here. The princess always wants me close enough that she can find me whenever she needs to."
>You begin running your fingers along the books.
"Otherwise I'd probably go out and see shit for myself."
>Kalakcha nods in contemplation.
>You pull out a few books and read the cliff notes in the back of each book, hoping to find something that strikes your fancy.
>"I see. So you're not unlike a prisoner yourself."
>You look up from your book and let that idea bounce around in your mind.
"I've, uh, never really thought of it that way."
>You place the book back where you found it, nodding to yourself as you finish slipping it back into place.
>Can't just leave whenever you want.
>The guards won't let you because of Celestia, and last time you snuck aboard the train all it accomplished was delaying the ride for everyone else.
>Constantly being checked up on.
>You'd think you were some sort of hospital patient with the amount of attention they give you.
"I guess I kinda am."
>Your plan for transporting Kalakcha back to wherever was a combination of using his ability to sneak around and your knowledge of guard routes.
>A bit underhanded, but a necessary risk.
>Besides, it gave you an excuse to get out of Canterlot for a bit.
 
>You look down at the disguised bug, who has been sitting and staring at you in silence as you thought things over.
>You give him a bit of a frown.
"Shouldn't you be finding some book on history or something?"
>He tilts his head and squints slightly.
>"Why does the princess need you to stay so close?"
>You pull out another random book and pretend to read part of it."
"Go find a damn book. It's why we're here."
>He gives you a final glance over before standing and wandering off.
>Did he strike a bit of a nerve, Anon?
>You sigh as you continue looking for anything that sounded remotely entertaining.
>Fantasy lore in Equestria was a bit odd, since what you normally view as monsters are now characters, and in some cases even normal races, like the gryphons.
>The only thing that seemed to remain consistent was that dragons were evil.
>Always.
>You listened to Spike complain about it a few times when Twilight visits Sunbutt.
>As far as you knew, he was her pet or something.
>Smart guy, but you felt a little bad for him after listening to what his normal days are.
>It made you feel a little better about yourself, though.
>Things can always be worse.
>You finally find a book that doesn't revolt you with its synopsis and make your way to the tables to give it a nice glance over, just to make sure.
>As you approach, you spot Kalakcha already seated at one, surrounded by open books.
>You take the seat across from him.
>Without looking up, he slides a book over to you.
>"I managed to find a picture book for you."
>It's an encyclopedia.
>You scoff and push it back to him.
"Ya, thanks."
 
>You look up at the odd assortment of books spread around the table.
"You're not actually reading all of these, are you?"
>He gives you a shrug.
>"Parts of them. There's only certain bits of information I need."
>The fuck?
"Whatever you say. Get what you need out of those because you can't take them all."
>You begin paging through the book, looking for keywords.
>Blah, blah blah...
>Seems interesting enough.
>Sold.
>You press the book shut and watch Kalakcha read.
>Were it anyone else, you'd think they were just fucking with you.
>Hell, he might be.
>You squint a bit as you think.
>Does he even have a sense of humor, though?
>He hasn't really went out of his way to make you laugh, but he hasn't really hated your humor, either.
>Do all changelings act this way?
>"Your staring is making me feel odd."
>Whether he has humor or not, he's fun to mess with.
"Odd in what way?"
>He frowns.
>"How many ways are there of feeling odd, and why would that matter?"
"Cuz if you might not want me to stop staring."
>He looks up at you.
>"I want you to stop staring."
>You grin.
"Alright."
>He looks back down at his books.
>You, of course, continue to stare.
>He lets out a sigh when he realizes you're not going to quit.
>"Don't you have a book to read?"
>You shake your head.
"Nah, this is for royal waiting rooms and bathrooms."
 
>You wave your hands across all his books.
"What about you? What's all this for?"
>He begins closing each book.
>"Nothing important, I was just curious."
>You wait a moment for him to continue, but he doesn't.
>You give a slight shrug.
"About?"
>"You know, this and that."
>You frown.
>He, however, breaks a small grin as he gathers up all the books and begins walking away.
>You lean back in your chair.
>Is this what you think it is?
>You prop up an eyebrow at him as he walks by to put all the books away.
"Did you just make a funny?"
>You stand up and smile as you follow him.
"And on purpose?"
>Book after book floats back into empty spaces on shelves as you follow him down the aisle.
>He doesn't look back at you.
>"You do it all the time, and you make it seem so enjoyable."
>You've met quite a few dry individuals in your day, and this one in particular really needed to lighten up.
>Sure, he was tortured a bit and now has you as a sort of probation officer, but he's always so damn dry and literal with everything.
>It was nice to see him attempt his first joke, even if it was shit.
"I make everything look enjoyable. Even the boring stuff, like testing all the royal food for poison without the royals knowing. They're just so busy and I'm more than happy to help out."
>He turns back to look at you.
>"Why would you do such a dangerous task?"
>You shrug.
>Well, he still needed work.
"Is joking going to become a habit for you? I don't want you getting used to all of this just so you can get lynched by your hive when you keep acting this way."
>He rolls his eyes and turns back around to finish placing back the last of the books.
 
>"I'm sure you'll find a way to get me caught before that becomes a problem."
>You cross your arms.
"Of the two of us, only one has gotten you caught so far."
>He cringes slightly as he turns back to you, all the books now in their proper place.
>You rap your fingers on your own book still clenched in your hand an give him a smug look.
>"I guess I can't argue with that."
>He walks towards you before rearing up a bit and giving your gut a loving hit with his foreleg.
>You can't help but to wrench forward as the air evacuates your lungs, supposedly because they are no longer safe.
"Ack!"
>He limps backwards a few steps and shakes his hoof.
>"Ah, that was a bad idea. My leg is still recovering."
>You attempt to suck it up and stand up straight like a big strong man.
"That'll learn ya. I hardly felt anything."
>You barely manage to cough out your sentence.
>You turn around and hide your pained expression as you walk away.
>It's always so much worse when you don't expect it.
>He follows behind you as you approach the front desk and check out your new time killing material.
>Out of the corner of your eye, you spot the clock hanging behind the clerk.
>Shit, it's almost lunch.
>The clerk smiles at you as she places the book into your hands.
>"Have a good day, Anon."
>You nod back at her.
"Ya, you too, and stop telling everyone I take these with me into the bathrooms. I keep getting weird looks."
>She giggles at you.
>"Then stop doing that."
>You quickly walk out the door, calling back to her.
"No."
>Kalakcha catches up to you right outside the building.
>"Why are you in such a hurry?"
>You look around at all the wandering ponies for no reason in particular, it was just something to keep you from having to look at him.
"I, uh, forgot to mention that, contrary to popular belief, I do, in fact, have friends, and we're going to have to meet them for lunch."
>You finally look down at him with a weak grin.
"Hope you're hungry."
 
>He stares back at you as his eyes fill with panic.
>"What do you mean we're meeting your friends for lunch? I don't want to be that close to someone else for any longer than I have to be."
>He tugs on your shirt.
>"Why can't we just go eat in your dwelling again? Just cook more golden cakes, and maybe brew more nectar of the gods?"
>You give him a shrug and grimace.
"Sorry, man. I meet these guys for lunch like every single day. They'll think it's weird if I don't show up, especially if they knew I was hanging out with you."
>The fear in his eyes is replaced rapidly by curiosity.
>"Why would I make a difference?"
>You begin walking.
>You'd really like to use a brisk pace because you're already running behind, but you know Kalakcha wouldn't be able to keep up that easily.
>Carrying him would probably also turn a few heads.
"Uh, no reason."
>He shakes his head as he walks beside you.
>"No, please tell me."
>You do your best to ignore him as you continue walking.
>Any information might scare him off.
>He sighs in defeat.
>"At least tell me what they're like."
>You think about it for a moment, and a small grin finds its way to your face.
>You cough once before replying.
"They're uh, they're a lot like you."
>Now his interest was piqued and he seemed almost as eager as you.
>Poor bastard.
 
>"What exactly makes them like me?"
>You shrug.
"I think you'll see it, too."
>He smiles a bit.
>"Well, they can't be that bad if they're a part of your clan."
>You tilt your head at the remark.
"I don't think I have a clan."
>"Your clutch? Your circle of brothers?"
"I think friends works just fine."
>He nods.
>"Very well."
>You approach your usual meeting location and attempt to hide your own nervousness.
>Don't need Kalakcha getting all freaked out for no reason.
>Well, some reasons.
>After a quick glance over the area, you easily spot them sitting at a table.
>You squint and frown.
"Those bastards."
>You rush over to the table.
>"Which ones are they?"
>Kalakcha tries to follow behind you as you weave around ponies, but he has a little difficulty.
>You quickly reach their table and slam your hand down to get their attention.
>They both look up at you, clearly laughing about some story they were in the middle of embellishing.
"What the hell? I'm like, a couple minutes late and you guys got food without me?"
>One of them points up at a nearby clock tower.
>"You're well over ten minutes late."
>He nods back and forth.
>"Buuut we did order food well over ten minutes ago."
>You all share a laugh as you spot Kalakcha struggle to push through the crowd.
>He stumbles a relatively short distance away from the table and comes to a stop.
"Dude, there's a couple guys I want you to meet."
>He gives you a look that nearly breaks your heart.
>You hold up your hands to him and motion towards your buddies.
"No, no, it's fine, it's-"
>Before you can finish, he's turned around and pushing is way back through the crowd.
 
>You turn back to your friends, who are leaning to the side so they can watch Kalakcha run away.
>With a reassuring smile, you do your best to play it off like this is totally normal.
"He's a bit shy. I'll be right back."
>You give them a few more reassuring gestures before turning and sprinting off towards him.
>He's easy enough to catch, what with his injuries and all.
>Or at least, so you thought.
>As you round a corner behind a building, you see him attempting to take flight, still in his guard form.
"Nope. Nope. Nope."
>He manages to get quite a few feet off the ground as you get within leaping range.
>With a great jump, you manage to snatch him out of the air and collapse with him to the ground, hugging him in your arms as he squirms around.
>"How could you do this? Let me go, I won't go back!"
>He's easy enough to hold onto, but his kicking is getting a bit irritating.
"Would you calm the hell down?"
>He continues squirming, and even attempts to do something with magic, but you're not sure what it was.
>"I said let me go!"
>You hug him tighter and get into a sitting position.
"Look, you're not moving until you calm down."
>The squirming slows a bit, though you suspect that's only because he's getting worn out.
>"I can't calm down while you're trying to hand me back to my enemies!"
"We already went over this once. What's the point of busting you out just to send you back, hm? That's stupid. Now calm down and think for a minute."
>He groans, but complies.
>The flailing around ceases and he goes quiet for a moment.
>"Well, then who are they?"
>You let him go, but remain seated.
>He climbs off of you and turns around to watch your eyes.
"They're my friends, like I said. Their day job is guarding a few halls in the castle."
>He sits down in front of you and frowns.
>"So why do you know them?"
>You stand up and brush yourself off.
"You know what? Why don't we talk about all of that after I introduce you to them."
 
>He gives you a stern look, but ultimately agrees.
>"Fine, but if things look suspicious I'm going to run again, and next time you won't catch me."
>You turn and begin walking back.
>He walks along beside you, reluctantly at first, but more confident as he goes.
"Whatever. We both know I'd catch you again."
>He gives you a defiant huff.
>"You're not as fast as you think."
"You're not as fast as you think."
>You repeat back to him with a sarcastic tinge.
>As you make your way back through the crowd and approach the table, you both adopt false smiles.
>One is busy chewing, but the other gives you both an odd look and props up an eyebrow.
>"So, uh, you're supposed to be a guard?"
>Kalakcha throws you a glare and whispers harshly.
>"What is that supposed to mean?"
>You ignore his question and push him forward.
"Yes, he's a great guard. A bit new, but he did take on some changelings himself, and nearly almost kind of didn't lose."
>They both nod in unison.
>The one who was chewing food speaks up first.
>"Ah, so you're the one they've been talking about around the halls."
>The other cuts in.
>"We heard Anon had to save your hide."
 
>Kalakcha stammers a bit at the accusation.
>"I'm, uh, w-well, not sure what to say."
>Once again, you step in for him.
"It wasn't as bad as he looks. Anyway, I guess I should introduce you all."
>You motion to the guard on your left.
"This big guy is White Wing. Even though he's a huge jerk on the outside, it's just to hide his soft and mushy heart."
>He shakes his head.
>"Don't let him fool ya, the outside is mushy, too."
>The other guard prods him with a hoof.
>"Maybe if ya didn't eat so much you wouldn't be so mushy."
>White Wing bats his hoof away and pushes him a bit.
"And then the other one is Light Breeze, and his ass may just about be as smart as mine."
>He performs a mocking bow with his head and a hoof.
>"I can only only hope that one day, I'm half as good as sensei."
>You turn back to Kalakcha.
"Guys, you've already heard of my friend here by his brave, heroic, valorous, honorable, and other such shit, deeds. His name is Kalakcha."
>White tilts his head and Light scratches his chin, commenting on this new information.
>"That's an odd name. You not from around here?"
>Kalakcha shrugs.
>"It's just what Anon calls me."
>Without thinking, you reach forward and slap him upside the head.
"Because that's his name, and yes, he's from the deep, deep, deep east. Like, I haven't even seen it on a map. I don't even think it has a name."
>They both give you an odd look, but they really don't care deep down, lucky for you.
 
>Light speaks up first.
>"Whatever you say Anon. I'm still not even fully convinced you came from another world."
>You nod.
"That's just fine, because I'm not fully convinced I came to another world."
>You take a seat and pat the seat next to you while looking back at Kalakcha.
>He gives an audible grunt, but approaches the table and sits next to you.
>Once he takes his seat, you finish your thought.
"I actually expect to wake up in a hospital any day now to hear about how I went into a coma after that bus hit me."
>White waves his hooves dismissively.
>"Ya, ya, we've heard this one, but this guy."
>He nods over at Kalakcha and grins.
>"We heard you actually got to fight, that must have been fun. I never get to see any action myself."
>He looks over at you, and you tilt your head towards them.
>After taking a deep breath, he speaks up.
>"Uh, yes, I battled some changelings. It was, fun."
>Jesus Christ, this guy is supposed to be an infiltrator?
>You give him a stern elbow to the side.
>He grits his teeth.
>"Oof, what I mean is they're lucky they caught me near the end of my shift, otherwise they'd be the ones limping around. They got the drop on me is all."
>White continues smiling and nodding like a smitten girl while Light leans back and sips a drink held in his wing.
>"You boys talk a big game, but Wing, that's the closest you've ever gotten to it. No shame in getting your posterior handed to you, Cowlick. It's not like anyone actually expects us to fight anything."
>White frowns and looks back over at Light.
>"We 'are' expected to fight, and win. It's what we train for."
>Light shakes his head while you and Kalakcha just watch the display in silence.
>"We've been over this a hundred times. There hasn't been a war in generations, everyone is soft. Closest thing we get to it is overhearing some bickering nobles and splitting up their gentle shoving match."
 
>White interjects.
>"What about that changeling invasion? That was recent enough. We coulda been there."
>Light scoffs in response.
>"Ya, and ended up like Cowlick over there, or worse, like every other guard who was part of that mess."
>He finishes off his drink and sets it down.
>"Face it, best we're good for is looking sexy in this uniform for all the pretty mares."
>With that said, he looks over at a couple passing by and gives them his best seductive wink.
>They giggle at each other and continue walking.
>White backhoofs him in the gut, causing him to lurch forward.
>"For a wise guy, ya sure are stupid sometimes."
>He rubs his stomach and sits back up to the table.
>"You know it's true. Anon, tell him."
>You shrug at White.
"He does look sexy in that uniform."
>They both chuckle a bit at your quip.
>White points at you with his hoof before replying.
>"If we get invaded again, we could just send you to the front lines."
"Why? So I can get my ass kicked?"
>Light shakes his head.
>"Nah, so you can kill them all with your killer jokes."
>The three of you chuckle a bit together at the horrible pun.
"Guess you'll be helping me, then, right?"
>White shakes his head next.
>"No, no, he can only make them run away. His jokes stink."
>Once again, you all share a laugh over the stupid pun.
"Okay, you'll be a team then."
>You look over at Kalakcha.
>He's been sitting in relative silence since the conversation began.
>Even though he hasn't been audibly laughing, he does have what appears to be a genuine smile on his face.
>A small one, but it's there.
 
>The two guards quickly notice you looking over at Kalakcha.
>This quickly results in all three of you staring at him.
>What little smile there was fades.
>Light scratches his chin.
>"You know, I thought Anon was just being a smartass when he called you shy, but I guess he wasn't lyin'. You haven't said a thing since you sat here."
>He glances between you all before speaking up.
>"Um, I actually talked about how much I'd make some changelings limp if we fought again, remember?"
>Light squints a bit, but White nods and defends him.
>"Right, he's probably still just a bit shaken up. He didn't even get attacked during an invasion, there was no way of expecting it."
>He slaps the table with his hoof.
>"But don't you worry none, you hang out with us and you'll be right as rain in no time."
>You wave your hand.
"Oh, no, that's not happening. He keeps hanging out with you guys he'll get just as crazy."
>They both lean back in unison.
>White makes an audible groan of disapproval with a smile, but Light speaks up.
>"What are you on about, Anon? You've enough crazies for all of Canterlot."
>He leans forward once more and looks over at Kalakcha.
>"Did this guy ever tell you how he got his job at the castle?"
>For the first time, Kalakcha shows genuine interest and leans forward.
>"No, he hasn't told me any of that stuff."
>Both guards look at each other and share a laugh just thinking about it.
>You wave your hands.
"I don't think he needs to hear that story."
>This only gets him more interested, and much to his delight, they're more than happy to tell.
>White continues laughing while Light collects himself.
>"No, it's great, he'll love it."
 
>You continue attempting to object to the imminent story, even though you know it's no use.
"I'm sure he doesn't care to hear about my boring day job."
>This time, Kalakcha jumps in.
>"Actually, I'd be really interested in hearing this, especially since it feels like you don't want me to."
>He looks over and gives you a devious grin.
>You sigh and rub the back of your neck.
>White slaps Light in the chest.
>"Go ahead, you're better at tellin' than I am."
>He pushes him away a bit in response.
>"I'm gettin' to it, hold the carriage."
>He smiles and leans in, speaking directly to Kalakcha.
>"Alright, so it's no secret that Anon is from somewhere far away. In fact, we've never seen anything like him before."
>You nod and circle your hands in the air, signalling him to get to the point.
>He's told this to everyone at least a dozen times.
>Personally, you don't see why it's so appealing, but the ponies seem to love it.
>Kalakcha answers him.
>"Yes, I gathered as much myself."
>Light nods and continues.
>"Right, so when he first arrived, he was held under close watch until we knew exactly who and what he was. Well, funny enough, it led to him working directly for Princess Celestia herself!"
>Kalakcha sits back and props up an eyebrow.
>"Wait, Anon works directly for Celestia?"
>White butts into the conversation, blurting out an instant reply.
>"Damn right he does, the bastard. Landed the job in under a year, too."
>Kalakcha begins shifting nervously before beginning the subtly slide off the bench.
>You reach out and wrap your arm around him, pulling him next to you with a firm grip.
"Isn't that interesting?"
>You smile down at him and he gives you a nervous laugh.
>"Heh, uh, ya, that's certainly, interesting."
 
>He asked for this, even if he didn't fully realize it at the time.
>You didn't want him to freak out, but now that you're past the point of no return, you're gonna have some fun.
>He pushes against you a bit, trying to pull himself free, but you hold him with ease.
>Light points over to Anon.
>"Go on, tell him the story. I always, uh, exaggerate. A bit."
>You nod and hold your hand palm out in front of you, as if painting an imaginary scene for Kalakcha.
"There I was, stuck hanging out in that boring as shit castle day in and day out. I wasn't allowed to leave until Celestia gave the all clear, so I had to find ways to entertain myself. That's when I first met these guys, since they're the only constant company in the castle-"
>White hits the table and laughs.
>"Liar! We we're just the only ones who would talk to you since nobles are far too proper and busy for a lowly peasant."
>You shrug.
"I'm sure they we're just nervous. Anyway, so we became friends over time, and even though I came to this new place, I'm still my old self."
>Light leans back and stretches.
>"More like you're just too dense to understand that the Princess could banish you at any moment if she desired."
"Shut up, man, I'm tellin' the story."
>You look back down at Kalakcha.
"See, I've never really... Cared much about things I think are bullshit. One of those was treating the Princesses like they're my gods or something. You know, bowing, saluting, worshiping, sacrificing virgins to, all that jazz."
>White speaks up once more.
>"It wouldn't kill ya to give them respect now and then."
>You shake Kalakcha a bit with your arm.
"We wouldn't want to take that chance, would we? So I just acted normal around her. At first, she seemed really surprised I would 'be so bold,' but she got used to it pretty quick. I suspect it's because she liked it, or I'm just super special."
>Light gives you a nod.
>"You're special, alright."
>You stick your tongue out at him like a child before continuing.
 
"Eventually, that just became the norm for me. No one else dared treat her with anything less than the highest regard. I suppose they thought because I was so different that I was some kind of special exception for some reason or another. Whatever her reasons, we became a bit like friends too... I think. Her sister is a lot harder to read, but I get the vibe that she only puts on a show because it's what she's been taught."
>White sneers at you.
>"Ya, she's a real delight, right before she unleashes dark magic all over the place and gobbles up all the kids."
>Light smacks him upside the head.
>"Don't be an ijut. Nightmare Moon was defeated."
>White rubs his head.
>"Says you. She'll be back, mark my words. That's why I took the day shift."
>You shake your head.
"You took the day job because you're too damn lazy to stay up at night. But anyway, stop interrupting so we can order some damn food."
>You sarcastically clear your throat before continuing.
"So on a day just like any other, I was heading to the dining hall to get some lunch. I gave a polite salute to the guard out front, and he held up his hoof to stop me. I was like don't worry, I'm just getting some grub, but he said the Princess was currently hosting an important meeting and didn't wish to be disturbed. I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed me with his magic and started pulling me away. I said okay, okay, fine, I'll go. He let me go, and that's when I struck."
>Kalakcha is looking up at you with wide eyes.
>"You attacked him?"
>You nod before holding up your finger, pointing towards the sky.
>He glances between your finger and you.
>With a grin, you quickly bring in your finger and press it against his nose.
"Boop."
>He blinks a few times and wiggles his nose before giving you a confused look.
"Exactly like that."
>Light chuckles.
>"Crazy enough for all of Canterlot, as I said."
>White grunts.
>"That stupid trick has worked on me more times than I care to say."
 
>You glance over at White.
"Well, you shoulda figured it out by now."
>He nods.
>"I know, I know, I just never see it comin'."
>You return your attention to your changeling friend.
"And neither did this guy. After I stunned him, I quickly slipped through the door and closed it behind me. I began casually walking towards the tables of food. The feast was a lot bigger than usual, and it smelled amazing."
>Kalakcha prods your chest.
>"What does boop mean?"
>You boop him once more, much to his displeasure.
"That's it. So I get close to these tables, right? Obviously I see Celestia right away, who is giving me a surprised look combined with something else. It might have been the burning rage of a thousand suns, or maybe gas, I'm not sure. It was obvious she didn't want me there a lot more than usual, but I was really hungry. I skipped breakfast, man, what could I do?"
>Light begins playing with the leftover ice at the bottom of his cup, swirling it around with his wing and staring at it.
>"You coulda waited, like any normal pony would."
>You snap your fingers and give him a satisfied grin.
"But I didn't. I walked right up to the table and sat down, on the table. Celestia gave me a harsh whisper asking me what I was doing in there and to get out. I shrugged and grabbed a few handfuls of nearby food and said I was hungry. That's when I noticed some weird couple sitting across from her. They we're pretty short compared to other royalty. Smaller than you guys, even."
>Light sets down his cup once more, thoroughly bored with his improvised toy.
>"They were the leaders of a small and distant country in the south on a good-will visit to Equestria. Keeping ties strong, and all that."
>It's at this point in time, you're finally approached by a waiter.
>You look over at him and do your best to hide your internal thought of 'it's about fucking time.'
"Oh good, we can order now. I'll have two- no, three egg sandwiches, and a big cup of green tea."
 
>The unicorn nods as he pens down the order with a floating pen into a floating notepad.
>"And for you, sir?"
>He looks up and looks towards Kalakcha, who's still tucked firmly under your arm.
>He glances between the waiter and you, as if unsure what to do.
>You give him a reassuring nod.
"Just tell him what you want. I'll cover it."
>With that, he looks over at the waiter.
>"Give me golden cakes."
>The waiter's pen presses against the paper, but doesn't move.
>He gives Kalakcha a confused look.
>"What was that?"
>You cough a bit.
"He said pancakes. He wants pancakes, with butter, and lots of syrup. And water, I guess."
>The waiter nods and leaves.
>"I'll be back with your food shortly."
>Kalakcha gives you the same confused look the waiter had moments ago.
>"Pancakes?"
>You shrug.
"Ya, I don't know what that was about. Weird, huh?"
>White leans forward.
>"Hey, finish your story. We can't sit here all day, ya know."
>You take a deep inhale and give him a sarcastic, high pitched reply.
"Shut up."
>After you exhale all the excess air, you continue normally.
"Where was I? The short guys, right? This guy and girl horse, both looked like miniature versions of you guys, only a little differently built, I guess. Either way, they we're both giving me the most dumb-struck look I've ever seen, and I've seen that look a lot."
>Light scoffs.
>"Can't imagine why."
"It's like they literally couldn't comprehend what was happening right in front of them."
>He cuts in once more.
>"I'm sitting right here and I can't, either. Who sits on a table, ever?"
>You give him a death stare along with your pointed finger.
>He shrugs.
"So I said hey, and kept eating. The female eventually talked to Celestia, asking her who and what I was. She overplayed a facehoof as she explained exactly that. She then followed up by asking if this was a normal occurrence. This time I answered and said that it wasn't. Usually there's not a feast."
 
>Both White and Light chuckle, while Kalakcha gives an audible gasp.
>"You disrespected them to such a great extent, it's a wonder you can still speak."
>You prop up an eyebrow.
"I ate food near them, calm down."
>Light nods in agreement.
>"I'm with him. You may not get it, but every time I hear this story, I wonder how it's possible. We should see your mug plastered all over the moon by now."
>You give him a magical wink.
"They like me too much."
>Light shakes his head.
>"They really don't."
>You give him a shrug.
"Agree to disagree. So after that pretty flat joke, and some awkward silence with Celestia biting her lip and still giving me a strange look that might have been hate of some kind, the short guy cracked a smile. I gave him a friendly nod as he turned to Celestia and asked her if I was some sort of jester. She insisted I was simply a guest that causes more trouble than I'm worth. Kind of rude, I think, but what can you do?"
>Light once again speaks up.
>"Not act like a jester, for one thing."
>You shake your head.
"No, I refuse to do that. It's too important. So I began talking to this guy about where he's from, and soon the entire mood changed from stick-up-the-ass to naked-in-a-hot-tub. Celestia was surprised I think, but not angry. Everyone was laughing as they swapped various stories about the bullshit of being in charge. Random stuff you gotta deal with, and something about how everyone treats you like you can't possibly make mistakes, so you have to do your best to live up to that expectation, and everything is always so formal all the damn time, and it was just driving them nuts. They really enjoyed the chance to relax for once."
>White shakes his head.
>"I refuse to believe that part. The royals never act that way around us, and the time I tried acting that way I was reprimanded."
>You shrug.
"Ya, well, you guys are supposed to be serious. You're guards."
>He gives you an exaggerated huff in response.
 
"So after the dinner was over, Sunbutt pulled me aside to talk to me. After scolding me over being an idiot or something, she talked to me about working for her as an entertainer of some kind for the special guests she has. I forget the term she used, but-"
>Kalakcha cuts in, much to your surprise.
>"Diplomat?"
>You curl your lips thoughtfully and nod.
"Ya, I think that's it. So it became my job to keep royal guests happy using my unique skill set of not giving a shit what title they had. Apparently that task is damn-near impossible for ponies raised anywhere near royalty."
>All three of them nod in unison and mumble agreements.
>Kalakcha speaks up.
>"I couldn't imagine anyone treating my... Princess that way."
>Light smiles at him.
>"You and me both, but I've seen him do it. I wouldn't believe this guy a lick, otherwise. Still don't get it."
 
>You finally release your grip on Kalakcha and he slides back over to his spot, showing no signs of attempting to escape again.
"You don't need to get it. It's my job. What I don't get is how you guys can stand around in the same spot for so damn long."
>White gives you a dumbfounded look.
>"You know it's only four hours a day. Even someone as lazy as you could do that."
>Light nods.
>"Sides that, we get all sorts of entertaining stories being near the nobles all day."
>You chuckle a bit.
"Right, like that time those two young punks took up like half of Celestia's court time arguing over who had rightful ownership of a rock?"
>White shakes his head and smiles, but says nothing.
>Light completes your story.
>"And Celestia decreed the rock be split in half, and then they tried to start arguing over who got which half?"
>This time White cuts in.
>"So she sent both halves to the moon! Wish I was one of the guards that got to toss 'em out. I heard their expressions were priceless."
>You cover your face with your hand.
"Nobles, man."
>Light waves his hoof at you as an excited expression envelops his face.
>"Oh, wait, that reminds me of a new story I wanted to tell you. Almost forgot."
>He nods towards Kalakcha.
>"You should like this too."
>Kalakcha leans forward, smiling from the previous stories.
>"I should like it if it's anything like those other stories."
>Light shakes his head at him.
>"Nah, it's better."
>You prop your elbow up onto the table and lean on your hand, staring at Light as he speaks.
"Let's hear it. Something about Blueblood?"
>He continues.
>"It's about how that escaped changeling was caught in the first place."
 
>Your grin grows as quickly as Kalakcha's fades.
>He shakes his head.
>"You don't need to share that story."
>White gives him a comforting look.
>"Aw, don't let them changelings scare ya just cuz you had one bad experience. You'll gettem next time."
>Your grin could not possibly get any bigger.
>In fact, it was almost hurting your face.
"I'd be really interested in hearing this, especially since it feels like you don't want me to."
>You look over at the increasingly nervous disguised bug.
>He shoots you a look of contempt, but knows he can't stop the story, just as you couldn't.
>Light laughs.
>"It was great, mostly because of how weird it was."
>You bring up your other elbow to get into full interest stance.
"Do tell."
>You hear Kalakcha sigh next to you as Light continues.
>"So the way I hear it, this changeling was their easiest catch yet. It was almost confusing how it all played out."
>You chuckle a bit and glance over at Kalakcha, who is doing his best to avoid eye contact with anyone.
>Apparently the table top had just gotten very fascinating all the sudden.
>"A bunch of guards are claiming credit right now, so I'm not sure who it was, but they walked right up to this odd changeling who was just standing in the middle of town, not even disguised. I mean, it was dark, but still, no disguise at all, right in the middle of Canterlot? How daft can ya get?"
>You hear Kalakcha groan under his breath, soft enough that he probably thought no one else heard.
>"So he just trotted right up to this changeling to see what was going on, and right away this changeling begins scolding the guy, as if he'd just trampled all over his flower patch or something. He didn't catch most of it since the whole thing happened so quick and he was more concerned that there was a changeling just standing there, but after a minute of watching him rant, he just scooped him up with his telekinesis spell and carried him off to the castle!"
 
>Both of the guards look at each other as he finishes and begin laughing hysterically, trading impersonations of a surprised changeling.
>You lean back and give a very exaggerated laugh to join in, slapping Kalakcha in the shoulder with the back of your hand all the while.
>After a few slaps, he slowly turns to look at you before giving a nice sneer and his own mocking laughter.
"Isn't that just the best? Can you imagine?"
>You continue slapping him with the back of your hand until eventually he bats your hand away with his hoof.
>"I find it hard to imagine any changeling would do that without a very good reason."
>Light wipes his eye with a hoof.
>"Oh, do you? Why?"
>The laughter dies down to a few light laughs now and then.
>White pushes Light gently.
>"He was prolly just lookin' for love in all the wrong places."
>Kalakcha clears his throat.
>"Because they're not that stupid. They're actually a lot smarter than ponies think. A lot of them are probably even smarter than a lot of ponies."
>The laughter finishes dying completely, though some awkward smiles remain.
>Light shrugs.
>"Those changelings really did a number on you, didn't they? I was a bit confused why Anon decided to take it on himself to babysit you, but it makes sense now. I'm a bit worried myself."
>White taps the table with his hoof.
>"Kale, you can't let one lost battle get to you like this. Everyone gets knocked down sometimes. Except me, of course."
>He opens his mouth to say something in response, but no sound comes out.
>After a moment, he simply shuts it and remains silent, frowning as he looks away.
>Light prods White.
>"You never get knocked down because you never fight."
>At least the food arrived in time to break up the awkwardness.
>You begin digging into your sandwiches, but Kalakcha merely stares at his dish in silence.
>After a few moments, he reluctantly takes a bite.
>Despite his best efforts, it causes a small smile to appear on his face.
 
>You give him a gentle nudge in the side with your elbow and smile as well.
>As you chew, you begin thinking it over.
>It really doesn't make sense he would just stand there.
>He can't exactly tell you what happened right now, either.
>Maybe your buddies know a little more, though.
>You swallow your food and clear your throat a bit.
"So how did they find this changeling, anyway? Castle guards don't usually go out patrolling random areas of town."
>Kalakcha looks up while still chewing.
>Apparently he was interested in hearing this as well.
>Light rubs the back of his neck with his hoof, thanking back.
>"Hm, the way I remember it, someone told them they saw it lurking around town. They even told them exactly where to find him."
>Kalakcha stops chewing and looks over at you.
>You give him a shrug as Light continues.
>"The night guards complain to us all the time about how all of Canterlot has come running up to them at some point, screaming about a changeling they saw in the shadows, and how every single time they'd have to go check it out. Been happening since the attack. This time there was one, I guess."
>White huffs.
>"Bah, all they did was take it back to the castle. Shoulda roughed it up a bit for coming back after what they did."
>Light takes on a mocking voice as he makes fun of White.
>"Bleh, shoulda roughed it up, I'm so strong, I've killed like a thousand changelings by headbutting them into submission, everyone should fear me."
>White pokes light.
>"Oi, be a prick if ya want, but look what they did to Kale over there. A whole bunch of 'em ganged up on him, the cowards. They deserve whatever they get."
>Kalakcha chokes a bit on the food he was chewing and coughs a few times.
 
>You reach over and give him a few firm pats as he finishes coughing.
>"Uh, did they see who gave them the tip?"
>Light looks back over at Kalakcha and shrugs.
>"No idea, that's all I heard about it. The whole thing is weird. Funny, but still weird."
>White stretches a bit and flaps his wings gently.
>"There had to be more, since they busted that one out. I'm sure we'll find them soon enough."
>Light laughs.
>"Right, cuz all of them are just gonna stand around and ask guards to take 'em in."
 
>You shrug.
"Considering the one we had was tortured, I'd bet the other ones took off when they got him out."
>Light gives you an odd look.
>"Tortured?"
>White claps his hooves together and grins.
>"Oh, right! I bet they're off planning another attack! They probly want revenge after that. Breeze, you'd best get ready. Don't need you slackin' off in the next attack."
>Light ignores white and repeats his question to you.
>"Did you say tortured?"
>You prop up an eyebrow.
"They didn't tell anyone else? Hm, guess that'd make sense. Not exactly something you'd want spread around."
>You cough exaggeratedly into your fist.
"Erm, speaking of which-"
>He shrugs and interrupts your thought.
>"We all know nothing leaves this table. I'd have been kicked out of the castle by now."
>White prods Light once again.
>"Oi, weren't you listening?"
>He turns back to him and pokes him in return.
>"Were you listening, ya daft bastard? Bah, never mind. We need to get back. Good lunch, 'Non. Good talk new guy, maybe next time you'll even say three words."
>He nods at you both respectively before hopping up off the chair and taking flight.
>White sighs.
>"He didn't leave any bits, did he? I'm gonna give him a good thump when I catch up to him."
>He tosses a few bits onto the table before following suit and chasing after Light.
>Kalakcha looks over at you as you finish off your last sandwich.
>"I think I know what happened."
>You nod in response.
"Ya, White forgot that Light covered the past four meals they've had himself, and that he eats at least twice as much."
>He raises an eyebrow.
"That's like, eight meals or something. Where do you think he gets that much money?"
 
>Kalakcha pokes you with his hoof.
>"No, you fool. Listen."
>He leans in closer to you and gives a quick glance at his surroundings before continuing.
>You give him a mocking interested look and lean in next to him.
"Hm?"
>"A changeling told them where to find me."
>You frown at him and lean back.
"Pfft."
>He throws you a desperate look.
>"No, I'm serious."
>You shrug.
"Look, you already lied about how you were found."
>He frowns at you.
>"You lied about being neutral. Besides, I wasn't lying, it was just... Not the entire truth."
"Not the entire truth is lying, and I am neutral."
>He tilts his head at you.
>"How can you be neutral and work directly for the princess? That doesn't make sense!"
>His harsh whispers elicit a few head turns.
>He glances around before taking another bite of his pancakes.
>They were getting soggy.
"Did you completely miss that story? I got the job by not caring. I wouldn't exactly label that as brimming with loyalty."
>He doesn't seem to mind the sogginess, as he takes a few more bites before replying.
>"I guess it doesn't matter now, but we'll have to talk about this later, in a less public place."
>You nod.
"Ya, that'd be for the best."
>After he eats the last bite, he begins licking the remaining syrup off of his plate.
>A few ponies give him an odd look which he immediately notices, causing him to stop and sit up straight.
>"I think we're done here."
>You chuckle a bit.
"Ya, I think so, and I know our next stop."
 
>You place what you assume is the appropriate amount of bits on the table and stand to leave.
>Kalakcha climbs off the bench and limps behind you.
>"Where are we going next?"
>You place your hands in your pockets as you walk.
"Nowhere near as exciting as a museum and library, but I like it."
>He manages to get beside you and looks up with a curious expression.
>"Some place you like? What is it?"
>You shrug.
"Can't really describe it, you'll just have to wait."
>He looks forward and frowns.
>"Okay... What should we talk about then?"
>You continue staring forward as you walk.
"Who says we have to talk at all?"
>He thinks a moment before replying.
>"I like talking to you."
>You d'aww internally, but do your best to hide it.
"I guess walking in complete silence would feel weird. We could just stare at each other in silence."
>He tilts his head.
>"That seems much more strange."
"It might sound strange to you, but where I come from it has been used to decide many important political events. The weaker person blinks first, and thus must admit defeat and concede to the superior person."
>He shakes his head.
>"I don't see how that custom would work."
>You grin to yourself.
"I'll show you later I guess."
>He looks up at you.
>"Your species determined dominance based on who could stare longer?"
>You look down at him with that grin still plastered on your face.
"Something like that, and I'm undefeated."
>He squints at you a bit before looking forward once more.
>"Interesting. We have a much different method based on all manner of abilities. It's how our queen determines who fills which position."
>You look forward once more as well.
"Sounds dirty."
 
>He nods in agreement.
>"Yes, it can be very messy."
>You shake your head and laugh.
"I can only imagine."
>He looks back up at you.
>"You don't need to imagine, I can tell you how it works."
>You try to stifle your laughter with a few coughs and cover your mouth with your hand.
"I know how it works, but, uh, go ahead and explain anyway."
>"How would you know how it works? You've never met another changeling."
>You shrug.
"I'm good at guessing."
>He looks forward again in silence for a while.
>Eventually you look down at him.
"Well?"
>He looks at you.
>"What?"
>You hold you hands palm-up in front of you and raise your eyebrows.
>He shakes his head.
>"I don't understand."
>Your arms fall limp and you slide them back into your pockets.
"How do you guys determine positions?"
>He looks forward once more.
>"Why don't you guess?"
>You look to the side and smile at the opportunity.
"Well, alright."
>He looks up and ponders what you might say as you scratch your chin thoughtfully.
"Okay, bare with me, these are just guesses."
>He nods.
"I'd say she separates you guys into groups based on size, stamina, and performance. She would then place you guys into positions based on her specific needs. If you do well, you become one of her favorites and she gives you more specialized tasks."
>He raises an eyebrow and stares at you for a moment.
>"That's... Actually very close to how it works, yes."
>Oh for fucks sake, Kalakcha.
 
>Well, he effectively killed your joke.
>You'd be impressed if that was his intention.
"Yay for me. So where do you fit on that list?"
>He nods to himself.
>"I already mentioned I was a member of Swarm Eleven, do you remember?"
>Of course not.
"Of course I do."
>"Well, you're good at guessing. What do you think that means?"
>You shrug.
"Uh, that you guys took home the eleventh place trophy in bowling?"
>He flinches slightly.
>"What is bowling?"
"A game where old men play with balls."
>His face scrunches up at your reply.
"So your team is like, the eleventh best?"
>"Eh, something like that. Like you correctly guessed, we're divided into teams based on our strengths."
>This sparks your curiosity.
"Wait, so what does your team specialize in?"
>He looks down at the ground and gives a low groan.
>You prop up an eyebrow as you stare down at him.
>Eventually, he looks up at you and gives a nervous smile.
>"Uh... We, have... What I mean is, we're good at... Infiltration?"
>Somehow your eyebrow manages to prop itself up higher.
"So like-"
>He nods.
>"Yes."
>You hold one of your hands out palm-up.
"You just-"
>"Yes."
>You scratch your neck.
"So... I'm just-"
>He shakes his head.
>"No, not exactly."
>Were you guys even on the same page?
>He looks down.
>"This has all been... Odd. I haven't dealt with anything like this before."
>Your eyebrows return to normal.
>Anything like what?
 
>He nods to himself once more.
>"This whole mission has been strange since it began, but this is honestly something we should discuss when we aren't standing in the open."
>Right, never know who is listening.
"Fine."
>He begins looking around.
>There's not as many ponies in this area.
>"We've been walking for a while. We're not even in the town anymore. Where are we going?"
>You point over at a stone wall that rises up out of the grass a good six feet or so.
"Right there."
>Kalakcha stops walking.
>"You brought me to a wall? Does it have historical value?"
"Not exactly, but I'm sure it's old."
>He continues walking with you once more.
>"So why did we come here?"
>Once you reach the wall, you turn to look at him and pat it a few times.
"The wall isn't what we came to see. It's the other side that I like."
>You place both hands on the top and jump, carefully pulling yourself up into a sitting position.
>Kalakcha glances around to make sure he isn't being watched before flying up to you.
>Would seem strange for a unicorn to be flying for no obvious reason.
>Once he's up on the wall, he takes a seat next to you.
>You kick your legs a few times and lean forward, using your arms to prop yourself up on your legs.
"Looks pretty cool, right?"
>You had brought him to the edge of the structure holding up all of Canterlot.
>From here, you could see across most of Equestria.
>Despite what was in the world being vastly different from what your world had, looking out over it like this...
>It just looked like Earth.
>A mostly empty Earth, but still Earth.
>It had an odd comfort to it, knowing that even though you're in a different place now, it's still home.
>Not to mention the natural beauty itself.
>You sigh contentedly.
>Kalakcha shrugs.
>"I don't get it."
 
>You look over at him.
"What do you mean you don't get it? It's a nice view."
>He looks out over the landscape.
>"I suppose?"
>You look forward once more.
"Look, it's like walking to the edge of the sky. It's pretty cool."
>The edge you were on was one of the furthest points from the mountain the whole thing was attached to.
>Leaning forward and looking down, you could see the wall descend a ways before curving back towards town, completely disappearing from your point of view.
>The whole thing felt surreal every time.
>"You know I can fly, right?"
>You frown.
"Yes, I know you can fly."
>He shrugs again.
>"So you know I've had better views than this?"
>You nod.
"Yes, I know. I still really like it here. I thought you might, too."
>You continue sitting there, staring out over the landscape.
>Even the air seemed fresher here.
>Kalakcha continues looking around, occasionally looking over at you to see what you were looking at.
>He would then study that area as well.
>You're not sure how long you both just sat there looking around, but you really enjoyed it.
>More so because usually you don't have someone to share the spot with.
>Eventually he breaks the long silence.
>"Hm."
"Hm?"
>He nods.
>"This is actually a nice spot. Thanks for showing me."
>You shrug.
"Meh, it's okay."
>He grins and pokes your side with a hoof.
>You immediately tense up and dig your hands into the corner of the wall.
>He laughs.
"Dude, I can't fly."
>"Yes, I know."
 
>You relax a bit once more and look down.
"I've been doing a bit of thinking."
>You glance around.
>As far as you can tell, there's no one within a mile.
>Kalakcha nods at you.
>"That's good."
>You nod as well to yourself.
"Ya, well, you might not think so when I tell you what I've been thinking about."
>He looks over at you with concern.
>"With everything that's happened today, I'm sure you have a lot to say."
"Eh, kinda."
>You fidget with your fingers a bit.
"We need to work together to fix all this, and to do that we need to trust each other."
>He continues looking at you.
>"What do you mean? I do trust you."
>You look over at him in disbelief.
>"Well, I trust you, now. I won't be flying away anymore. I promise."
>You look back down at your hands.
"Sure. If we're going to trust each other, it also means we can't keep hiding information from each other."
>This causes him to look forward, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular.
>"Like what?"
>You think back once more.
>First question was obvious.
"Let's start with you telling me why you came back after I helped you escape?"
>He continues looking forward.
>"Because I said I would."
"What did I just say?"
>He looks back over at you, and you look up at him.
>With a sigh, he nods.
>"Okay. You were different."
>You prop up an eyebrow.
"I... What?"
>He glances away.
>"Different than anything we've dealt with, and as far as the hive as a whole was concerned, that made you a priority target. We needed to learn more about you so we could figure out how much of a threat you were."
>You continue staring at him, and returns your look once more.
>"And I had the perfect in."
 
>You grin and shake your head as you look away.
"That makes a lot more sense than willingly walking back into your enemy's stronghold because you promised really hard that you would."
>"My duty to my hive is as an infiltrator. I was fulfilling my duty, that's all."
>He looks away once more.
>"At the time, I didn't care. I actually really wanted to just go back to my hive, but I was the best choice for this mission, and I couldn't return with two failed missions."
>He turns back and searches your face for a reaction.
>You're still grinning and thinking things over.
>Eventually you nod and look up at the sky.
>He tilts his head at you.
>"You're handling this news-"
"It's what I asked for."
>You look over at him and shrug your shoulders.
>He blinks a few times.
"So, what'd you learn about me? You almost let it slip a few times, already."
>Kalakcha shakes off the surprise and begins explaining everything to you quickly and concisely.
>You can't help but imagine this was rehearsed for a superior.
>"From what I've gathered you harness a natural resistance to our magic. I attempted a few different manipulation and mind-altering spells, and as far as I could tell, they had absolutely no effect."
>He shivers a bit.
>"It's unsettling information."
>This time you were less than happy to hear the explanation.
>You turn and look at him with a frown.
"Wait, you tried to mess with my head? When?"
>Your question snaps him out of his focused state and he glances at you once before looking away and scratching his neck.
>"Oh, well... You already know about the, love consumption in the castle. That should have weakened you and left you feeling fatigued."
>You prop up an eyebrow.
"And?"
>He looks down and closes his eyes.
>"And... I tried to use some more advanced spells on you while you slept. Perception alteration... Mind control..."
"Mind control?"
>He flinches a bit, hesitates a moment, and then nods.
>His eyes remain shut tight.
 
>You slowly look away from him, mouth agape.
"Huh."
>Kalakcha opens his eyes slightly and turns his head just enough to see you.
>You let out a surprised single laugh, trying to process everything.
>Easy enough, since you know the other half of the story.
"It's a good thing mind control didn't work. I'd be a lot more boring with you controlling me."
>He opens his eyes the rest of the way and turns a little more in your direction.
>"Wh-"
"And it's not just your magic. It's magic in general. Well, at least all the magic I've run into, so don't feel too bad about your performance issues."
>He just keeps staring at you in silence.
"Now, from what 'I've' gathered, the stronger the spell is, the more resistant I am. Ever heard of Newton? Never mind, stupid question. Let's say you run into this wall. You represent a spell, this wall represents my resistance. You hit it, it hits you back, and no harm is done. Well, to the wall. Simple spells seem to still work alright, like telekinesis."
>He shrugs and finally speaks.
>"But my magic didn't hurt me."
"It's not a perfect example, and obviously magic works different than physical stuff."
>He nods and considers what you said.
>"Enough force could break through this wall, though."
>You flinch a bit at the response.
>True enough.
"I guess, but I haven't had that happen yet. I'm not about to go gather a bunch of unicorns and ask them to hit me with their best shot."
>"How do you do it?"
>You look up at the sky once more and kick your legs in rhythm.
"Dunno. Been that way since I got here. Apparently I surprised Celestia because she blasted me with something that threw me to the ground. I guess I was also supposed to stay there for a while, because she was surprised when I stood up and started running away."
 
>He grins at you.
>"Celestia herself attacked you? What happened?"
>You wave one hand in front of yourself as though advertising a product.
"I'm still here, and she doesn't attack me anymore. Obviously it all worked out."
>You look over at him and smile.
"Isn't this a lot more fun now?"
>"That's not how I would describe the situation."
"Hm."
>You think back once more.
"What did you mean when you said you think a changeling got you caught?"
>His smile fades and he looks away.
>"It's the only explanation that makes sense. You remember me saying I had two missions, right?"
>You shrug and look out across Equestria.
>"Well, the second one was to study you, but the original mission I had was finding a missing changeling."
"Ya, I recall you mentioning that before. Guess it's true then."
>"Yes, but it wasn't just any changeling. He is- was my lieutenant. It had taken a while to finally find him after he disappeared without reporting anything. He told me to meet him at a specific time and place, and that he would be disguised as a guard."
>You chuckle a bit.
>He sneers at you.
>"Amusing to you, painful to me, in more than one way."
>You nod.
"I'm sure being betrayed by your commander sucks."
>Kalakcha looks at you and shakes his head.
>"He's not my commander. He oversees the rest of our Swarm, and I oversee him."
>You look back over at him and prop up an eyebrow.
"Wait, so you're-"
>He nods.
>"Yes. I'm the leader of Swarm Eleven."
>You give him a shit eating grin.
"Well look at you, mister important."
 
>You give him a nudge with your elbow.
"And you've kept it secret this whole time. Should I start calling you by sir?"
>He grins at your response to his revelation.
>"We both know you wouldn't, even if I asked. Technically your position is above my own, anyway."
>He looks forward once more.
>"I do see the appeal of being treated like anyone else, now. It's... Comforting, knowing they only expect you to be happy."
>He frowns plainly at his next thought.
>"But I do still have responsibilities that can't be ignored."
>You shrug and look forward as well.
"That was the whole point of this conversation. Guess first we have to deal with this rogue changeling of yours. How did you find him or contact him?"
>"We have drop locations for information to be hidden and later picked up and passed to superiors. He passed me the time and location, as well as his current disguise. He made it sound urgent, and he was long overdue for a report, so I didn't delay. I should have been more cautious."
>You nod.
"But instead you started lecturing a castle guard. Shouldn't you have worn a disguise just in case?"
>He shakes his head.
>"No. If anyone other than the singular changeling is standing at a designated meeting area, the meeting is terminated. Being out of disguise is the only way we have to ensure we're really talking to who we think we're talking to."
>He cracks a small grin and looks at you.
>"You see what happens otherwise."
>You nod.
"Ya, you get your ass handed to you."
>Turning your head skyward, you think over the situation.
"So, you don't actually have a way to find him unless he just comes right out and tells you where he is?"
>He sighs.
>"The point of information drops is to reduce the chance of being caught. Unfortunately for us, that works both ways. If he doesn't want to be found, it will be very difficult to find him."
>You give him a firm slap in the back, much to his surprise.
"Don't worry, we'll figure something out. Just gotta think for a bit."
 
>He cringes a bit at the impact.
>Shit, forgot he was still a little worse for wear.
>"So that's it then? Don't worry, it'll be okay? I'm not comfortable hoping things simply work out."
>You turn and look at him.
>He looks anxious as hell.
"Why not? It's got you this far. Taking the time to think things through doesn't mean we're just hoping things work out."
>He adopts a look of annoyance as he responds with a grunt.
>"I can't believe I'm taking planning advice from someone like you."
>You turn and hop off the wall into the grass and begin dusting off your pants.
"Me either. Soon you'll probably think I know what I'm doing, and then we'll all be in trouble."
>He tilts his head.
>"Are you leaving? I thought you came here to think."
>As you finish dusting yourself off, you bend back and give your body a nice stretch.
"And I did. Now I'm gonna go home and relax."
>Kalakcha hops off the wall and lands next to you, folding forward slightly on one of his forelegs, but manages to keep himself standing.
>"Going to relax? After all of this?"
>You finish stretching and begin your journey home.
"Yup. You're gonna join me, right?"
>He groans and walks up next to you.
>"Do I have a choice?"
>You smile and fold your hands behind your head.
"Well, I think we established that you could jump over that wall and I couldn't catch you."
>He continues frowning and looking down at the ground as he walks.
>You look down at him and sigh.
"Look, I do my best thinking when I'm relaxed, and wandering around all over town isn't my idea of a relaxing time. You should try it sometime."
>"I don't usually have the luxury of relaxing."
"Well today you do, so stop moping."
>He looks up at you.
"You already carried out your first mission successfully. You know all about me. You're already halfway done and it's only been a day. So relax before I have to hug you into submission again."
>He looks away in protest.
>"That's not what happened."
>You flash him a smile.
"Don't push your luck."
 
>You watch as he attempts to hide his own meager grin, but fails to do so.
>A few moments of walking pass in relative silence as he attempts to have a brilliant breakthrough and you attempt not to think about anything.
>It hardly works for either of you.
>Once again, he's the first to break the silence.
>"How long do you plan on doing nothing?"
>You shrug.
"I haven't even made it home yet, so I haven't had the chance to do nothing."
>He grunts at your passiveness.
>"You know what I mean. You can't honestly believe you'll figure something out by doing nothing."
>You roll your eyes.
"We literally just had this discussion."
>"I know, I just can't figure out what your plan is, if you could even call it a plan."
>You sigh.
"Plan is to relax, so relax, again."
>He shakes his head.
>"We should be figuring out where the rogue might be. I know his general area, we could look for an anomaly, maybe someone who doesn't fit in. We could ask around if anyone new moved there recently? I'm sure someone knows if-"
>His voice is cut off with a surprised chirp as you scoop him up into your arms from behind.
>As expected, he kicks a few times and squirms, but you hold him easily enough.
"I told you."
>After the show of resistance, he voices his protest.
>"Put me down, ponies will think this is odd, let alone how humiliating this is by itself!"
>You hug him a bit tighter.
"Nope. Don't worry, if anyone asks I'll just assure them your injuries were giving you so much trouble that this was the only option left."
>He gives an exaggerated sigh before resigning to his fate.
>"I doubt this is ever an acceptable option for guards, injured or not."
>You chuckle a bit as you think about your time in the castle.
"You'd be surprised."
 
>He attempts to look up at you in surprise.
>"Do they just let you get away with anything? Are they that soft?"
>You pat his head, and he groans his oppositions.
"They're pretty soft, inside and out, but everyone needs a hug now and then, right little guy?"
>You seamlessly slip into baby talk.
"Who needed a wittle hug to save his wittle life fwom a wittle torture? Aww, that's right."
>He begins flailing once more.
>"Stop it!"
>You chuckle and stop patronizing him.
"Nah, it's almost always just to piss someone off. Everyone gets bored, and we deal with it in different ways."
>His flailing slows and quickly ceases as you get back to your usual self.
>"Almost always?"
>You look to the side.
"Uh, ya, well, some of them actually do just want a hug."
>Kalakcha thinks for a moment.
>"That seems strange."
"Hm? What does?"
>Once again, he attempts to look up at you.
>"Hugging is a symbol of affection, one shared between mates and family. It's a powerful producer of love."
>You look down at him.
"What? No. I mean, ya, I guess it is, but no. You don't have to be someone's mate to hug them. It just makes some of them feel, uh, comfortable."
>He looks down as he considers this.
>Jeez, has he really never dealt with loss before?
>Hm, what if he really only saw any form of hugging as a sign of affection?
>What if he thought you were coming onto him or some shit by holding him constantly?
>You cared and all, but you just met him less than a day ago.
>"I understand."
>You blink a few times.
"You do?"
>He nods in confirmation.
>"I know there's no reason I should feel this way, but you make me feel... Safe. Protected. Despite everything that's happening."
>A chill goes up your spine.
"Uh, thanks? I do what I can, heh."
>You force out some totally genuine laughter to cover up your unease.
>Even as you grew more tense, you could feel him grow more relaxed in your arms.
 
>"You were right, this can be comfortable."
>Sure.
"I'm glad you're relaxing now."
>You begin to stiffen up a bit, trying extra hard not to think anymore.
>About anything.
>Ever.
>As far as you're concerned, the universe just stopped existing.
>"Even so, I still can't help but think Celestia will find out soon."
>Fucking universe, reminding you that things exist.
"She's pretty smart, but I'm not sure what she knows. Best to assume she only knows what we've told her."
>Kalakcha looks off to the side.
>"That sounds like really wishful thinking."
>It was, but you didn't want him panicking.
>He's been looking for every excuse to bail, and you won't give him one.
>Right now, you both needed to get your heads straight and figure shit out.
>That's the only plan.
"Worrying won't make anything less true, it just makes it harder to think clearly."
>Speaking of worrying, you had a bug practically melting into your arms.
>A bug who feeds on love, and has been getting his fill around you.
>Does that say more about you or him?
>Thinking.
>You're doing that thing you weren't going to do.
>Focus on getting home.
>Relax.
>Figure shit out later.
>"That's oddly insightful."
>You frown.
"I can't be insightful?"
>He leans his head back and looks up at you with his big, false guard eyes.
>Part of you wished they were his real eyes.
>"Not really."
>He grins at you.
>You look down at him as a partial smile forms on your face.
>Fucking bug.
 
>A few odd looks from ponies who have come to expect this behavior from you later, you're throwing open your front door and carrying a bug over your threshold.
>You kick the door closed behind you and head to your couch before throwing yourself into its sweet embrace.
>A happy sigh escapes your mouth as you sink in.
>"Um..."
>Oh, right.
>You open your grip on Kalakcha, who awkwardly climbs off and sets himself down next to you.
>"Now can we talk about making some plans?"
>Your head lolls over to face him from the headrest of your couch.
"I literally just sat down."
>You stare up at your ceiling before closing your eyes and continuing your thought.
"Next time you can carry me everywhere."
>"I doubt I could lift you..."
>You smile lazily and shake your head.
>Soon enough you feel him prod your chest with his forehoof.
>"What do you think happened to my lieutenant?"
>You lazily open your eyes.
>"Do you think it's possible he betrayed the hive? What if he's working with Celestia?"
>Huh.
>Hadn't even considered that.
>Not that you could exactly come out and ask her.
>She certainly wouldn't come out and tell you, either.
>Dead end.
"Doesn't matter. If he is, there's no way we could know."
>You reach over and place your hand on his head.
"Now let me relax for a bit."
>He shrugs off your hand and climbs onto the floor, where he begins pacing.
>"His mission was so simple, all he had to do was track some unicorn nobles to find their supplier."
>You rub your face with both your hands.
>"He didn't even have to interact with anyone. Just stay in the shadows. Even fresh initiates could do that."
"Can't we just drop it for a little while?"
>He looks up at you.
>"What?"
>Too muffled apparently.
>You let your arms flop down to your sides and take a deep breath.
"I said I'm gonna go take a hot bath."
 
>You stand up and stretch a bit before walking towards your room to grab some fresh clothes and a towel.
>A hot bath is just what you needed right now, and the ponies had seen fit to install a fairly large one when your house was built.
>Something about accommodating your giant size, though you suspect they overestimated just a tad.
>It was almost exactly like a jacuzzi tub, minus the awesome water jets.
>Not that you were complaining.
>You turn back as you walk away and see the worried mess still pacing on the floor.
>Sighing, you turn around and hold your hand out palm up.
"You're just going to sit out here mumbling to yourself if I leave you alone, aren't you?"
>He scoffs in protest.
>"I don't need you treating me like some helpless newly hatched. I'll be fine. One of us has to figure something out, and I've already relaxed as you asked."
>He sure wasn't relaxed anymore.
>Not like you could force him anyway, and you were just exhausted enough not to care.
>Fuck it.
"Whatever you say, stay out here if you want. If you change your mind, I'm sure you can find me."
>You turn to continue your quest for bathing supplies, calling back as you round a corner.
"And you can take off that disguise now. Not like Celestia's gonna come breaking through my wall like kool-aid."
>As you grab your clothes and towel, you hear him call to you.
>"What is kool-aid?"
>You roll your eyes.
>Right.
>The human metaphors, man.
"An infamous murderer from my world who filled his body with the blood of the innocents. He would just come bursting through people's walls."
>With that, you make your way into the bathroom and draw some hot water.
>"That sounds terrifying."
>Perfect temperature for soaking.
>You strip off your clothes and climb in, settling down onto one of the steps and letting your legs dangle into the rapidly growing pool of hot water.
"It's worse than you're imagining, and he was never caught."
 
>It doesn't take long for the water to engulf your whole lower body, and you allow yourself to slouch and slide in up to your chest.
>Nice...
>You close your eyes, and soon your head manages to slip into the water, causing the world to melt around you.
>Unfortunately, the peace doesn't last very long.
>You open your eyes slightly and see a familiar gray figure with brilliant aqua eyes moving his mouth rapidly at you.
>A smile spreads across your face.
>You hear nothing but the sound of water pouring into more water.
>His mouth finally stops moving and he just stares at you.
>You don't respond.
>After a moment, he begins looking around your tub for something, and quickly following that you notice the water shut off.
>Oh well, you were going to do that soon anyway.
>Now you didn't have to move.
>He speaks once more, and this time you can hear his muffled concerns.
>You can't understand it of course.
>His eyes continue staring down at you as you float lazily in the soothing water.
>When you still don't respond, he finally gives up and leaves the side of the tub.
>Finally.
>Your smile grows larger and you close your eyes, breathing out a sigh of relief.
>No sooner do you finish exhaling than you feel a chitinous hoof pushing down on your face, forcing you underwater.
>Little faggot.
>You use your arms to push yourself back above the surface and cough a couple times before looking over at him.
>He grins at you.
>"Oh good, you're done. Did you hear an-"
>His voice is cut off by the water that rapidly surrounds his fully submerged body.
>He flails a few times underwater, and you let him go.
>As he surfaces, you laugh at him.
"Oh hey, you decided to join me after all."
 
>Now it's his turn to cough a few times as he dog paddles his way over to the step opposite yours and climbs onto it.
>He hoists himself up before turning to face you.
>You could tell he wanted to be mad, but between pushing you under water first and your goofy grin, he couldn't help but smile as well.
>"You didn't give me a choice."
>You shrug and sink mostly underwater once more.
"Sure I did. You could have stayed out in my living room and paced for a while."
>Now he frowns.
>"That's not productive."
>You sigh.
"Know what's productive?"
>There's a tint of snide to his reply.
>"Is it another thing that really isn't productive?"
"Relaxing."
>He rolls his eyes, or at least it seems that way to you.
>Those bug eyes that you missed seeing.
>"How did I know?"
>You sit up on the step and prop your arms on the sides of the tub.
"Why don't you give my process a chance?"
>"I told you, I can't."
"Ya you can, you just have to stop talking for a minute."
>You hold up one of your hands to lift a finger at each point.
"No talking, no thinking, no moving, and no groaning."
>He just blankly stares at you as you list off your commands.
>You prop up an eyebrow as you wait for him to say something, but he elects to simply continue staring in silence.
>With that, you get comfortable once more.
>A few minutes go by, and Kalakcha hasn't said anything.
>Every time you open your eyes, he's still staring at you with a frown, but he's doing everything else you said.
>It was beginning to feel creepy as fuck.
 
>You have to break the silence.
"It doesn't count as not thinking if you're thinking of all the ways to kill me."
>His expression and stance doesn't change.
>"I thought you said no talking, and I wasn't thinking about you that whole time."
>You grin again.
"Just part of it, then."
>For the first time since you gave him those orders, he looks away slightly.
>Were you a bit more observative, you'd almost say he looked embarrassed.
"How about this then. Just think about how the water feels."
>He looks down and moves his hoof through the water.
>"It's a bit too warm for me."
>You point at the faucet.
"So add some cold water, make yourself comfortable."
>He scoots over and turns it on for a bit until he feels comfortable, then shuts it back off.
"Better?"
>He runs his hoof through the water once more before nodding at you.
"Good. Now focus on that as you slip into the welcoming void."
>With nothing left to say, you slip most of the way into the water once more, only leaving your face exposed to the air.
>He attempts to mimic your action and succeeds to some degree, though he has to lay across the step rather than slide into the deep middle area.
>Silence and warmth engulfs him and a few moments later, a happy sigh escapes him.
>For the first time since you two met, he allows the world to melt away.
>Neither of you are sure how long you both laid there, but you're pretty sure you dozed off for a bit.
>When you became aware of your surroundings again, the water was noticeably colder.
>Still lukewarm, but nothing close to the warmth it once had.
>You sit up and look across the tub at the bug pone who is contentedly still laying on his back across that step, eyes closed and hooves curled up against his body.
>A smile forms on your face as you simply sit there and watch his slow breaths for a while longer.
 
>When the time seems appropriate, you decide to nudge him with your foot.
>As much as you'd have liked to, you guys couldn't just stay in the tub forever.
>It would start to get weird, and cold, and you're not sure what kind of effects prolonged exposure to water has on bug chitin.
>Do they get pruny like skin does?
>He didn't feel any different with what your foot could tell you.
"Hey."
>You nudge him a few more times until he stirs.
>Eventually, his eyes lazily drift open and her turns his head slightly to look over at you.
>"Hm?"
>You nudge him once more, but he doesn't respond.
"I think we're done."
>He still doesn't move.
>"You know I can't hear you."
>Oh well.
>You pull the plug and the water level begins lowering rapidly.
>He should get the hint.
>He continues watching you lazily
>With a deep sigh, you stand up and stare at the ceiling as you stretch a bit.
>That was a fantastic soak.
>One that you've needed for a while now but never seemed to care enough to do.
>Shit you knew you needed to do always seemed to somehow end up at the end of your list of things you actually did.
>After your stretch you let your arms flop down and you look down to climb out.
>Kalakcha catches the corner of your eye.
>He's still staring at you.
>Far less lazily now.
>He seems fixated.
>Almost in a trance.
>You laugh internally as you already know what he's staring at, and this is far from the first time this exact scenario has occurred.
>Well, not exact, but close enough.
>Kinda.
 
>Equestrians are all comfortable with nudity.
>An idea that was as foreign as you were when you arrived.
>Over time though, you eventually got used to the idea.
>However, every now and then, someone gets a little more curious than usual.
>You are an alien to their world, after all.
>All new.
>After they sate their curiousity it's all business as usual.
>You'd be lying if you said you hadn't tried to sneak a peak at Kalakcha a few times.
>Not that you wanted that, it was just instinctual curiosity.
>Your eyes just wander on their own sometimes.
>So you can't blame him.
>You turn your head and smile down at him.
"Like what you see?"
>His trance all but explodes and lets out a tiny embarassed groan before allowing himself to roll from the step into the pool that remained in the center of the tub.
>He sinks to the bottom and doesn't try to resurface or move.
>Bubbles of air find their way to the surface before silently popping.
>You laugh to yourself and climb out.
>After you're all dried off and at least partially dressed in your leisure clothes, you look back into the tub.
>The water has drained, and the bug remains in the same position on the bottom.
>You grab a folded towel and whip it open as you walk back down into the tub.
>The soft fabric finds its way over his entire body as you lower it and then wrap your arms around both of them, effectively turning him into a bug burrito.
"C'mon, let's get you dried off."
>You hoist him up out of the tub and carry him out into your living room.
>The two of you end up on the couch once more.
>He's still held firmly in your arms wrapped inside the large towel.
 
>You sigh to yourself.
>There goes all that work to get him relaxed.
>Maybe you should try comforting him a bit?
>What can you say to make this less weird?
>A few moments pass and nothing is coming to mind.
>You can feel the little bug burrito slowly expand and retract with his breathing.
>He hasn't acknowledged anything has happened this whole time.
>Other than the slow breathing from both of you, it's been deathly quiet.
>"I have an idea!"
>The sudden burst of sound makes you jump.
"Holy shit."
>"You know what changelings feel like. All we have to do is get into a position where you can test each potential pony until you find him."
>What?
"Huh?"
>"You work for Celestia, which means you are considered high class by pony standards, which means you have access to the nobles, which means you can get close to the ones we marked and attempt to find my rogue lieutenant!"
>How the hell did he get from being too embarassed to talk to you to coming up with a solution to the missing bug problem?
"What happened? You acted like you died in the tub and now you're all hyped about finding this lieutenant again."
>"I don't know what you're talking about. I've been thinking this whole time."
>Right.
"So you're going to try to convince me you didn't sneak a peak at my ramrod and then groan as you died inside?"
>You hear him scoff.
>"Don't be perverse. That's not what happened. I was thinking."
"Oh, I'm sure you were thinking."
>"Indeed."
>You weren't going to just drop this forever, but for now there were more important matters to deal with than his potential fantasies involving you and whatever it is bugs fantasize about.
"Whatever. What was this plan?"
 
>He continues speaking from the warm embrace of your arms and the towel burrito.
>"As I said, simply touch each noble he might be until you find him. You'll know when you find him since you know how we feel."
>You bite your lip and look to the side as you consider this.
"Uh, I can't exactly walk around feeling up all the nobles. They all know I'm a bit weird, but I'm not that weird, not to mention Sunbutt would get flooded with complaints that she has to lecture me on."
>"It wouldn't have to be all of them. I'm sure he's still somewhere near his initial target. He would have to be here still in order to tell the guards where to find me."
>He chuckles lightly.
>"I can show you everyone we were supposed to follow. He has to be around them."
>You can feel him shift slightly.
>"Or, uh, one of them."
"One of them?"
>He coughs once in response.
>"He might have... Taken their place? He was only supposed to observe, but he's off the grid at this point. Anything is possible."
>You cringe a bit.
"It's gonna be really hard to justify helping you guys escape if some nobles ended up dead."
>"What? Oh, no, we don't kill ponies. At least, we haven't in a very long time."
>He shifts around once more.
>"He would simply, uh, make his target his mind slave and keep him hidden while he takes his place. That's all."
>His nervous laughter makes you wonder how often that happens.
"Guess it's okay if that's all."
>"It's not death."
>You hug him tighter.
"Please shut up. Let's focus on how I can actually find him rather than reasons I shouldn't be helping you at all."
>"We already went over that."
"No, I can't just go around touching everyone."
>"You can, you just need a good reason to."
 
>You hear Kalakcha release an exaggerated sigh.
>"I'm not asking you to be weird about it. A simple hoofshake would be enough for you to tell if something is wrong."
>You roll your eyes despite his inability to see you do it from where he is.
"I have no reason to do that, though, and I can't exactly start reintroducing myself to everyone and shake their hooves. I mean, I didn't even do that the first time I met them."
>There's a long pause before you hear him speak up again.
>You can hear the grin behind his voice.
>"That's perfect. Maybe it's time they met the new you."
>You don't like the sound of that.
>The hell does that even mean?
"You're not going to try to mind control me again, are you?"
>"No, you fool. You do not respect noble status. You do not even respect royal status. I'm saying now you've changed, and you do respect it, and you would like to start over by reintroducing yourself."
>You look off to the side.
"That's really retarded and doesn't sound like me at all."
>"It doesn't need to be you, it just needs to give you a reason to shake their hooves."
>That's not the point.
>No one is going to believe you suddenly changed for no reason.
>Not even the stupid nobles.
"That plan won't work. We'd need to-"
>Oh.
>Oh yes.
"Hmm..."
>You grin as the idea sprouts in your mind.
"You know who else would know what a changeling feels like?"
>"What?"
"Another changeling."
>There's another short pause as you sit their silently smiling at your own brilliance.
>"No."
"Oh, yes. We're going to introduce you to the ponies you saved from the terrifying changelings with your selfless acts of bravery and valor."
>"No."
"And of course they'd be more than happy to shake the hoof of someone that would sacrifice themself for such a noble cause."
>"No."
"Yes, dammit. It makes way more sense than me doing a complete one-eighty with my attitude."
 
>You feel him shift in your arms.
>"That's not the point. They'll know my hoof feels wrong. I'll get caught. We'll get caught."
"Nah. It'll be fine. Just, uh, try to keep a safe distance as you get close to everyone."
>"Do you realize how stupid that sounds?"
"No more stupid than your plan. What if you wore some armor so they could only touch your hooves?"
>He shakes his head around until the towel falls from around it.
>Turning it far enough to see you out of the corner of his eye, he speaks once more.
>"Do you think an injured guard would wear heavy armor to a social gathering?"
>You shrug.
"Duh."
>He blinks a few times.
>"What is duh? Is that yes?"
>You turn him a bit in your arms so he can look at you more easily.
"Yes, you idiot. Guards wear armor everywhere they go, and your injuries should be healed enough for you to do that tomorrow."
>He snorts.
>"Easy enough for one to say who isn't injured and won't be wearing the armor. Where will you be getting this armor? As a royal gaurd, I should already have my own."
>You think for a moment.
"Couldn't you just wear your bug armor and-"
>"No. They will likely feel my armor. It must be real."
>You roll your eyes.
"And where am I supposed to get royal armor? They don't just leave that stuff laying around, y'know."
>He squints at you.
>"You are very clever. I'm sure you can figure it out."
>Asshole.
>You have no idea where to begin procuring a set of royal armor.
>Suddenly he grins wide at you.
>"You were right. Relaxing really helped clear my mind. Look at all this progress we're making."
>You hold up a hand and point at him.
>Before he realizes what's happening, you press your finger onto his nose.
"Sure, if you want to call this progress. You're ignoring that there's not any kind of social event happening anytime soon, and there's not just spare guard armor everywhere, and Sunbutt will be stopping by tomorrow."
>He frowns at you.
>"Why would you do that?"
>You boop him once more.
"Cuz it's funny."
 
>His arms are still wrapped up too tight to bat your hand away, so he turns his head as best he can.
>"No, why would you attempt to undermine our progress like that?"
>You shrug.
"Not to mention there's no proof he's even still around here. He might have ditched this place as soon as he got you caught."
>He continues frowning at you in an attempt to communicate his contempt.
>"Doing nothing solves nothing. Even if we fail to find him we will succeed in making progress."
"How?"
>He pulls one of his hooves out from the towel with no small measure of effort and prods you in the chest.
>"Every pony we eliminate as a suspect is one less pony he could be. The list will narrow until we find him."
>You sigh.
"That's a perfect plan for someone who has an eternity to find his target. We're on a time limit."
>You tilt your head back slightly.
"Rephrase that. We're on an unknown time limit, which is the worst kind. Our time could be up at any time."
>He tilts his head at you.
>"One's time could be up at any time at all times."
>This time you prod his chest with a few fingers.
"Don't get all philisophical with me. You know what I mean. We need a plan that works quick."
>"That may not be an option. We have a plan that has a chance of working."
>You groan.
>"It's worth the attempt."
"I was really hoping the plan we came up with was going to be better than gee, I sure hope everything goes alright."
>Kalakcha closes his eyes and recites a phrase, as if he's said it thousands of times.
>"A plan only has as much chance for success as those carrying it out allow."
>You roll your eyes in response.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
>His eyes open once more.
>"It means everything should work just fine if you're not a fool."
>You sigh once more, but don't say anything.
>After a moment, he offers you a slight smile.
>"You should relax."
>Despite everything, you smile back.
>You're sure you'll figure something out.
>It's what you do.
 
>Shortly after your conversation ended, Kalakcha discovered he was being held in a towel wrapped in your arms and did his best to escape in the most nonchalant way he could manage.
>By nonchalant you mean he asked why you were still holding him.
>Surely he was dry by now.
>He attempted to pretend he wanted you to let him go, and you pretended you didn't care either way.
>After both of you ruse masters finished tricking each other flawlessly, he asked what you usually do around your house.
"You mean like in my free time or something?"
>He nods.
>"You don't seem to enjoy books enough for that to be all you do, and you clearly don't spend the rest of the time around town or at the castle."
>You smile a bit.
"Hm, would you like to see?"
>He tilts his head to the side in response.
>"I would not have asked if I did not wish to know."
>You shrug and turn around, beginning your short journey to your study.
>By study, you meant the spare room you had that you stored all your crap in.
"Sometimes people ask questions they don't really want to know the answer to."
>He follows behind you.
>"Why would anyone do that?"
"That's an excellent question. You should ask everyone who freaked out after asking me what I was doing in my locked room."
>"Wha-"
>His voice quickly trails off and he stops talking.
>You grin.
"Look how smart you are."
>You walk into your study and hold out your arm, welcoming him in.
"Of course, sometimes I lie. It's very rare, but it happens."
>He walks past you and looks around at the cluttered room.
>There's a pile of boxes near one wall, and a desk nearby that's completely covered in papers.
>Your wall is literally wallpapered in various parchments from earlier projects.
>It helps you keep track of what you've already done and what needs to be done.
>Kinda.
 
>Kalakcha looks up and down your walls before turning back to you.
>"What is all of this?"
>You hold one hand palm up and question him.
"Shouldn't you know? You searched my whole house, didn't you?"
>He shakes his head as he continues looking around.
>"No. I did a quick check to see if anyone else was here. When I was satisfied, I made my way to your entry room and began my more in-depth studying. You arrived shortly after."
"Well, whatever."
>You motion to all of your crap scattered around.
"This is the infiltrator gold mine. I'm sure soon enough you'll be absolutely convulsing with orgasms."
>He doesn't look over at you, but rather continues studying the walls.
>"I'll be what?"
"Nothing. So you heard my friends and I mention I'm not from around here, right?"
>He nods silently.
"You know, like from a whole different world."
>"Sure."
"A whole different universe, probably."
>You walk up next to him and begin pointing to the pages pinned all over your walls.
"Well, these are devices and machines we used in my world."
>His eyes slowly widen as he glances from page to page.
"I'm no engineer, so I don't actually know exactly how each one worked, but I drew what I could remember and what it was supposed to do. The least I could do was draw what it looked like and describe what it did, if nothing else."
>He begins pressing his hooves into the wall.
>"Wait, these are actual functining devices?"
>You nod.
"A lot of it is more advanced than anything in this world, but this place obviously relies on magic, so they didn't have the need to make most of this stuff driving them."
>Soon enough he can hardly contain his excitement as he shifts from spot to spot.
>He doesn't even finish looking over anything before moving on.
"So, ya, this is sort of how I spend all my spare time. It's kind of one of my only hobbies. That, and learning how to cook something new or exploring as far as I can now and then."
 
>As you finish your explanation, you take a seat and watch him shuffle around with a grin on your face.
>A few ponies you know used to get this excited, but the interest died down over time when they realized a lot of your devices had no practical use in their world.
>Every now and then something will pique their interest, but mostly it's just getting your legacy on paper.
>You are, and probably will always be, the last of your species after all.
>If no one else makes some records, no one will, and you can't let everything die with you.
>You sigh as you continue thinking to yourself, ignoring the lively sound of paper being moved all around.
>Soon enough, you're interupted by Kalakcha shoving a hooffull into your arms.
>He then points to each page as he asks about them.
>"What is this?"
>You look over the page and frown.
"Meh, just a lighter. You press this to release gas and then this circle of steel rubs against this tiny flint and makes a spark to light it, creating fire."
>You frown.
"Turns out unicorns can just create fire from magic, though."
>He tilts his head to the side.
>"Not everyone is a unicorn."
"Ya, well, I live in the unicorn capital. Besides, how would a pony use this with hooves?"
>"If it was made to work for your species, it can be remade to work for others."
>He pushes the paper off to the side to get at the one behidn it.
>"What about this one?"
>It only takes a glance for you to chuckle.
"Oh, this was just me practicing with a quill and ink. That shit was hard to learn even though it looks so simple."
>He looks disappointed.
>"Oh, I thought it was a complex device."
>You shrug.
"Well, it did lead to me drawing this first device."
>You flip through a few of the pages he brought to you until you find it.
"Here, see? It's called a ball-point pen, and as the name suggests the end is a ball."
>He looks up at you.
>"How would one write with a ball?"
 
"Well, the ball is super tiny, like almost a speck of dust, and it rolls ink from inside this storage chamber onto your paper as you drag it across."
>He pulls his head away from the page in awe.
>"Interesting. And these devices actually worked?"
>You grin at his reactions.
"Not only that, they were sold everywhere for super cheap. These were super common."
>This led into him questioning how anyone could create compact devices like these with such tiny parts and you having to explain what machines were.
>You both talked for the rest of the day in that room.
>Neither of you remembered, or even cared about having dinner.
>A yawn escapes your maw as you idly turn to look at your window.
>You suddenly became aware of the surrounding world for the first time since you showed him your study.
"Shit, it's getting really late."
>His own trance broke with yours as he looked towards your window.
>"Is it? Oh, is that a problem?"
>You stand up and stretch a bit.
"Hmm, not if you can just sleep in all day. Sunbutt is coming in the morning, remember?"
>He nods.
>"Yes, I remember."
>He looks around sadly at all the papers he didn't get to ask about yet.
>You sarcastically pat his head.
"There there young padiwan, we can pick this up some other time."
>He goes to brush your hand away, but you began walking before he reacted.
>"What is padiwan?"
>You wave your hand dismissively.
"Don't worry about it."
>As you walk through your house turning off the lights, Kalakcha seems to stay on your heels.
>He's not saying anything, though.
>Once you reach the end of your journey in your room, you turn to look down at the awkward bug.
>Seems he can't being himself to speak.
>He just looks from one side to the other at nothing in particular.
"So, uh, you gonna go to sleep tonight, or are you going to sneak back into my study and stay up all night?"
>He looks up at you.
>"Hm? Oh, I'll sleep, I suppose."
>You nod your approval.
"Alright, good."
 
>You begin your practiced ritual of throwing all your clothes to the floor so you may sleep unhindered in naught but your loose boxers.
>So liberating.
>You also can't help but notice Kalakcha is still standing in your doorway looking around awkwardly in silence.
>You look down at him with an unsure expression.
"Were you going to sleep on the couch, then?"
>He looks back up at you again.
>"That's where I slept last time, so it is likely. Sleep well, then."
>As he stands to turn to leave, you shrug and grin slightly.
"My bed is a lot more comfortable than that couch is, you know, if you wanted to share or something. It's a pretty big bed."
>He pauses for a moment before turning around.
>You can tell he's trying not to smile.
>"I can give it a try, to see how comfortable you claim it is."
>You roll your eyes and pull your covers back to slide inside as he gently hops up.
>He soon follows your example and climbs under your covers from the top and turns around under the covers before poking his head out and colapsing.
"How is it?"
>He moves around a bit to get comfortable before speaking.
>"It is nice. Thank you."
>You lean over and blow out the candle on your night stand before getting comfortable yourself.
>His back is pressing into yours as you drift off.
"Good to hear. Have a good night."
>He doesn't reply, and soon enough you're completely out.
 
>No interuptions.
>It would seem your bug friend decided not to wake you up over and over this time.
>You struggle to get your eyes open.
>With a little more effort, you manage to lazily open one of your crusty eyes.
>The light is low, but there.
>Must still be somewhat early.
>Your thoughts turn to your dreams.
>They're already mostly faded, but you can recall a few odd details.
>Better write them down after your coffee.
>Moonbutt always insists on you writing everything you can remember since apparently she can't go look personally.
>Much to her disappointment, she realized she can't get through your natural magical defense.
>You're not sure why she's so fascinated in dreams anyway.
>It's not like they mean an-
>Your thoughts are cut off as you notice your pillow move slightly.
>You look down and squeeze your arms a little tighter.
>Hm.
>That's not right.
>Your mind catches up all at once and you go completely still, unsure how to react.
>Sometime during the night, Kalakcha became your hugging pillow, and now he was currently wrapped in your arms.
>Still asleep, as far as you could tell.
>Thank God.
>"Are you awake now?"
>You cringe a bit.
>Guess he's not.
"I, uh, guess."
>You continue laying there as you are.
>For some reason, you think if you don't move he won't notice he's being cuddled by you.
>Surely the problem will just solve itself.
 
>"Will you create more nectar of the gods?"
>So much for that plan.
>You really suck at thinking when you wake up.
"Of course. I'm useless without it, heh."
>You offer a small, single laugh as you continue not moving.
>A few moments pass of you still not moving before he finally speaks up.
>"Will you release me? I can't move."
>You open your arms.
"Oh, was I holding you? I didn't notice. I thought it was a pillow, cuz you know, it'd be a little weird if I knew. So I didn't."
>After you release your prisoner, he climbs out from under the covers and stretches a bit.
>"You told me hugs weren't weird?"
>You quickly roll over to face away.
"And it's not weird, but I didn't know it was you. I thought it was a pillow, as I said."
>You quickly stand up and rub your face.
"I just need some co- er, uh, nectar of the gods. Then I'll be fine."
>He doesn't look up at you, but you wouldn't have noticed even if he did.
>You yank your leisure clothes on as quick as you can.
>"I'll meet you out there shortly. It is important to stretch your muscles after your body has been idle for so long in case swift action is needed."
"Sounds fine, see you out there in a bit."
>You attempt to look perfectly calm as you walk out of your room rubbing the back of your neck.
>Why do you care so much?
>Usually this kind of shit just makes you laugh.
>Must just be too early.
>You're sure you'll get over it soon enough.
>Just need that coffee.
>As you round the corner and catch sight of your glorious brewer, you feel something slam into your back.
>It's not enough to really hurt, but it sure didn't feel good.
 
>It causes you to lurch forward slightly as you catch your balance.
"What the f-"
>Another hit, this time to your side.
>You spin around in time to see a black blur heading towards you.
>Oh no you fucking don't.
>It slams into your stomach and you latch on with both hands as you fall to the ground.
>It's a damn changeling!
"What are-"
>Before you can finish, you see a green light right next to you that grabs your attention.
>There's another one.
>It looks like it's trying to use some sort of spell on you, but it's not working.
>You wriggle the changeling in your hands around so you can grip it with one arm so you can use your free arm to grab this other changeling.
>With a bit of manuevering, and surprise now on your side, you manage to get them both under control.
>One for each arm.
"Stop, dammit!"
>As you protest, yet another one begins attempting to kick you with his forelegs.
>You use your own legs to spin yourself around a bit and latch onto it with a scissor grip.
>It continues hitting you wherever it can land a blow, but is now trapped.
>That seems to be all of them.
"Kalakcha get your ass out here, I swear to God!"
>After that, all you can manage are gutteral, primal growls as your adrenaline builds up and your grips tighten.
>Small, hard hooves continue showering you in blows.
>After what feels like forever, you hear a familiar voice.
>"Swarm, cease function!"
>Instantaneously, they all stop moving.
>You keep your grip on them all, just in case.
 
"What the fuck? Who are these faggots?"
>He trots towards you and looks them over.
>"It is my swarm. Release them, they will not attack you again."
>BUllshit.
>They shouldn't have attacked you the first time.
>You tighten your grip a little more and they cry out a bit.
"Fuckers attack me in my own house!"
>One of them speaks up, a hint of pain behind his voice.
>"Commander?"
>Kalakcha says nothing.
>He simply observes you.
>With one final grunt, you release them all and stand up.
>One of them colapses onto his side, but the other two catch their balance and remain standing.
>With that, Kalakcha speaks up once more.
>"Why are you hear? I ordered you to remain in position until I came for you."
>The one that spoke up earlier speaks up once more.
>"Commander, you did not rendezvous with us last night as you said you would. We came to investigate to be sure you were not in danger."
>This seems to catch him off-guard, if the way he backs up slightly as he responds is any indication.
>"I was, busy. There was no need for-"
>"Commander, when you last made contact you informed us of potential danger and ordered us not to take risks concerning-"
>Kalakcha holds up a hoof.
>"Enough. I understand."
>You fold your arms and look at each changeling in turn.
"So I guess you told your little group to come rescue you from me if things went wrong."
>He turns and looks up at you with a nervous expression.
>"This was before I knew anything about you other than what a threat you were."
>He flinches at his own choice of words.
>"I mean, what threat you might pose to us- the hive, the hive as a whole."
>The other changelings look very confused as their leader stammers on his words.
>It just makes you smile.
 
>You turn around to continue your previous task before you were ambushed by Swarm Eleven.
"I guess all your mates will want some nectar of the gods, too?"
>No response.
>You can make out a muffled conversation between them, but don't care enough to listen in.
>He's probably explaining everything.
>Saves you the trouble.
>You rub your sore back a bit as you wait for the coffee to brew.
>Extra large batch today.
>You turn to look at them talking to one another.
>They seem to be making a lot of subtle and odd gestures as they speak.
"Don't suppose they have names either, hm?"
>Kalakcha looks up at you from his group.
>"What? Oh, no, they do not. Not any names like you are used to."
>He hesitates as he turns to speak to them again.
>With an unamused expression, he elects to look back your way again.
>"You're going to give them all names, aren't you?"
>You shrug at his question.
"If I have to."
>You give them a good once over from where you're standing.
>Huh.
>You didn't want to sound racist, but as far as you could tell they were all perfectly identical.
>How the hell are you supposed to give them all names when you can't even tell them apart?
>Maybe you'll figure something out.
>Maybe it won't even matter and they'll just leave soon.
"Are they planning on staying long? We're trying to keep a low profile, remember?"
>Kalakcha nods towards you.
>"Correct, I was updating them on our situation. They'll be leaving shortly."
>You sigh.
"How shortly?"
*THUD THUD*
 
>Fuck.
>There's the door.
>Fuck fuck fuck-
"Do they have any disguises?"
>You try your best to whisper quietly despite your panic.
>Kalakcha looks just as panicked as you, though the rest don't seem to fully understand what that knock means.
>They're looking to their commander for some orders.
>He shifts into his guard form.
>It's visually less injured than yesterday.
>You'd find this interesting if you weren't about to scream like a girl.
>His companions follow suit and copy his disguise.
>No.
>Goddamit no.
"You can't just fucking copy him, you need to look different."
*THUD THUD*
>You raise your voice so the pony at the door can hear.
"Ya, I just got up. Hold on dammit."
>They look around at each other before looking back up at you with a confused look.
>For fucks sake.
>Kalakcha responds to you.
>"They don't have individual guard disguises. They never needed one."
>You wave your arms frantically as you walk towards the door.
"Well make them use whatever they got, then. Now."
>You walk past your bug bud as he passes commands to his swarm.
>The room fills with dim flashes of green light.
>After you see the third flash you open your door as nonchalantly as you can manage.
>Before you stands Sunbutt in all her radiant morning glory.
>Fucking morning people, man.
"Sup Sunbutt."
>You speak through a false smile and invite her in.
 
>She nods at you.
>"Good morning, Anon. I know it's kind of early for you, but I have many stops to make today and wanted to make sure our friend is alright."
"Of course you do."
>You turn and motion to the group standing in your dining room, all standing in a row like soldiers.
>An injured guard, some earth pony you don't recognize, and two clearly noble unicorns.
>For fucks sake.
>Celestia steps inside and looks them over.
>"Oh, greetings. Anon didn't tell me he had so many guests."
>Just like an instant replay with Kalakcha, they all adopt expressions of fear.
>All except the commander, of course.
>He expected her visit this time.
>Pity his group did not.
>They do not speak, nor do they bow.
>They're not sure what to do anymore.
>Kalakcha steps forward slightly before bowing his head low.
>"Greetings, my princess."
>Upon seeing him bow, his swarm follows suit.
>She waves her hoof towards him just like last time.
>"There's no need for that, as I said before. How are you feeling? You appear to be fairing much better than just yesterday."
>He raises his head and nods.
>"Yes, princess, I feel much better. Thank you."
>She smiles.
>"I'm glad to hear that. It must be because Anon cares for you a great deal."
>Sunbutt almost seems like she's implying something.
>You and Kalakcha exchange glances.
>You probably just took it the wrong way.
"Well, I'm pretty good at relaxing. With my training he's done an amazing job at taking it easy. I dare say I've found an apprentice."
>She looks at you with a sly expression.
>"Oh, we don't need more than one of you, Anon."
 
>Her attention then turns to the others in the room.
>She tilts her head slightly.
>"So what brings the Bright couple to your home this early?"
>The who?
>She's staring directly at the unicorn nobles that have done and said nothing since her arrival.
>"You've hardly said a word. Have you been well since our last get together?"
>You stand a very short distance behind Sunbutt as she awaits a response, and you're desperately trying to give them the hand signals for say something you fucking retarded assholes.
>By some miracle, they seem to grasp the concept and each start acting more like nobles than scared imposters.
>One of them kneels slightly.
>"Indeed, Princess, we have faired quite well, and it is great to see you once more. It was merely an unexpected visit."
>The other steps in as well as if on queue.
>"We were just discussing the finer details of this attack with Anon, here. It would seem he's one of the only, er, ones with knowledge of the situation and we didn't want pony's imaginations to run wild with no answers."
>Wow.
>You stand there with a shocked expression.
>They actually managed to pull an explenation out of their asses.
>Celestia nods.
>"I understand perfectly. I had wanted to keep as much of this from reaching the public as possible for just such a reason. I would not like my subjects to begin panicking unnecessarily."
>The first one speaks up again.
>"We understand, and will do our best to keep such information to ourselves."
>Celestia scratches her chin lightly with her hoof.
>"Where exactly did you hear about it to begin with?"
>Right.
>Only the guards should have known anything, and they don't make this shit public.
>Not even a little.
>They both stammer slightly, caught off-guard.
>"Er, well..."
>You raise your hand.
"That was my fault. I let it slip when they asked about the injured guard I was walking around with."
 
>She turns her head back to you and frowns.
>"Anon, you know better than that."
>You shrug.
"It slipped."
>She doesn't look very pleased with you, but you expected as much.
>Loose lips sink ships and all that.
>It's one of her favorite lessons that she pounds into everyone in her service.
>"See that it doesn't happen again."
>You nod.
"I'll just try not to slip anymore."
>Last is the regular earth pony, who had no reason you could fathom to be there.
>Ever.
>Who the fuck even was that?
>She looks him up and down.
>"I'm sorry, I don't recognize you. Are you not a local resident?"
>The last bug scratches the back of his neck.
>"Uh... I..."
>Nothing.
>You were drawing a perfect blank, and from what you could gather from everyone else, so were they.
>Suddenly, Kalakcha slaps him in the shoulder with the back of one of his hooves.
>"This kind pony is the reason I healed up so quick. He sells herbal remedies and tonics."
>He grins and continues.
>"They really work!"
>The nervous earth pony gives a light chuckle.
>"Heh, yes, as I said they would. Natural healing."
>Celestia smiles at them.
>"Fascinating. You shall have to give me some samples when you can."
>He smiles back.
>"Oh, of course, p-princess."
>You're fairly impressed with the way he grabbed that last minute explenation.
>Guess that covers everything.
>You breath a sigh of relief.
>Sunbutt speaks up once more after looking around the room.
>"I see I interupted your morning breakfast once again."
 
>You give her an unamused look.
"What do you expect when you come barging in when the sun comes up?"
>She turns around and gives you a playful poke in the chest.
>"Actually, I expect you to get annoyed and call me by that disrespectful title."
>You grin at her and rub your chest.
"Guess you're pretty smart, then."
>She winks at you.
>"I'm far more intelligent than you think, Anon."
>Okay.
>She continues on towards your door.
>"I guess I'll be going, then. You have much to discuss, correct?"
>You place your hands into your pockets and shrug your shoulders.
"Not really. I thought the point was to keep it all a secret?"
>She turns her head back and nods.
>"Indeed."
>With that, her horn lights up that brilliant golden color and the door gently swings open.
>"Farewell, friends. It was good seeing you once more."
>Everyone says their individual goodbyes as she steps out your door.
>You turn back and look over everyone as they sigh and relax a bit.
>Once again, you have all somehow dodged a bullet.
>As you relax as well, you notice all their faces tense up once more and their gaze focus behind you.
>Hm?
>You turn around and see Celestia walk back into your home.
>She closes the door behind her with her magic and sighs.
>"You call me smart, but you must truly think me a fool."
>She looks very disappointed as she continues.
>"I have sent my chariot away, they won't bother us. I'll admit, I did have a bit of fun, but I'm sorry you think so little of me."
 
>Busted.
>You turn and look at your little group.
>They're not moving.
>They're not speaking.
>Even the commander now looks afraid.
>You turn back to her and sigh and offer a defeated grin.
"But it all sounded believable, right?"
>Her face stays solemn.
>"Anon... I was in the room."
>Your heart drops.
>Does she mean...?
>"The day you released that changeling. I was in the room for the entire process. What kind of cruel leader gives the command to inflict pain upon another if they won't even witness the consequences of their orders?"
>What kind of leader gives that kind of order to begin with?
>You frown.
>She closes her eyes as she continues.
>"I know what you're thinking, and the answer is far more simple than I would like. I was afraid and desperate for my subjects; that they would be attacked once more and I would not be able to stop it. The changelings, when prepared, are extremely efficient in what they do. However, it was also their efficiency that forced my hooves. What if through the suffering of one, multitudes could be spared?"
>Her eyes open once more.
>"But you were right. We are in a situation that neither side can win unless the game is changed. I wish for my subjects to be safe, but not at the expense of others."
>Her face goes stern as she finishes.
>"If they push me, I am prepared to push back. However, if there is even a small chance you can succeed in finding a different path, I am willing to cling to this hope. It is why I have merely observed your actions thus far."
>She stands there expressionless as she waits for you to respond.
>The changelings must have realized fleeing would be useless as well, since they haven't budged.
>You fold your arms and look down as you think.
"Why'd you come back and admit all this now?"
>She lowers her head.
>"I couldn't keep lying to you. Not if I truly wanted you to succeed."
>She tilts her head up to meet your eyes with a smirk.
>"Besides, I couldn't keep up the ruse of being fooled by you anymore."
 
>You poke your tongue out.
"You never let me have any fun."
>She stands up normally once more and looks over the changelings standing behind you.
>"The injured guard is a pony that hasn't worked in my castle for at least two years now. Do you really think I do not know every detail about every single guard in my own castle?"
>Kalakcha's eyes dart back and forth.
>She tilts her nose up slightly.
>"The Brights are currently away on business, and the last time we met it wasn't pleasant. They were complaining about the dull color of cobble used in the streets."
>The two fake unicorns looks at each other.
>Celestia tilts her head at the remaining changeling.
>"Honestly, I've never seen this pony in Equestria before. Where did you encounter him?"
>All eyes turn to him.
>He looks around and takes a few steps back.
>"Why are you all looking at me? It's just a pony I ran into on one of my first assignments. I wasn't even in Equestria."
>You shake your head.
"You used a disguise from some pony who isn't even from this continent?"
>He looks away and frowns.
>"I was told to use any disguise, and I like this one."
"You're an idiot."
>Kalakcha gives you a solemn look and sighs.
>"I suppose there's no reason to keep these disguises on, is there?"
>His horn lights up with a green glow for a moment, and in a flash of green light he's back to his regular self.
>You nod towards him and he bows his head slightly.
>"I can't promise any other changeling will trust either of you, but if Anon trusts you, then that will be enough for me. For now."
>Celestia winces.
>"I did not give the order lightly, you und-"
>"Please, princess. Leave it alone."
>He looks off to the side.
>Her head lowers slightly.
>"Very well."
 
>You turn and wave your hands dismissively.
"I'm glad we're all on the same page now, but it's time for my morning brew."
>As you pour a cup for yourself, you turn your head.
"You already had some, didn't you Sunbutt?"
>She nods as she takes a seat at your table.
>"Of course, though I would not object to another cup."
>You hear a few changelings exchange some muffled words of confusion.
>"Did he just call her..."
>"How is it he has not been slain for such disrespect?"
>"Sir, how shall we-"
>Kalakcha speaks up clearly, effectively interupting his swarms conversations.
>"Some nectar of the gods would be perfect, Anon."
>Oddly enough, he takes a seat right next to the princess.
>He also does his best to avoid eye contact.
"Ya, ya, all you moochers are lucky I always got plenty available."
>Celestia looks down at Kalakcha.
>"It's plain to me why you were made a commander. A great leader sets the example for others to follow, correct?"
>You chuckle under your breath.
>It seems all Kalakcha can manage to do right now is keep himself from passing out.
>You finish stirring all the cups and place the spoon in your sink.
"It's as if courage and valor made sweet love and he was the off-spring."
>He gives you a look you're able to interpret in place of an insult, but his expression softens as you carry their cups to the table.
>You motion the others over to the table by tilting your head from side to side.
"Don't worry, the guy with two hands and no magic will get them all. Come sit down."
>You frown as they approach the table.
"And take those stupid disguises off, you're not fooling anyone right now."
>Celestia bows her head slightly.
>"Such a well-spoken and gracious host."
>All the bugs take seats so that Kalakcha is between them and the princess.
>Nice of them to leave the other seat next to her for you.
>Green flashes light up the room one at a time as they reveal their true forms.
 
>You finish passing out the coffee and take your own seat as you take a deep inhale of the aroma.
>The world could be ending and it would still be a good day as long as you had your cup.
>The three of you begin to nurse your cups while the rest of the swarm sniffs at it tentatively.
>"Sir, what is this?"
>Kalakcha glances at him as he takes a sip.
>"Drink it."
"Didn't you hear him? It's called nectar of the gods."
>Celestia grins behind her cup.
>As they all take their turn testing it, their faces light up.
>You roll your eyes as they begin drinking it as fast as the heat will allow them.
"Maybe I should set up a shop near the changeling hive and become a millionaire. Starbucks will be excited that they have a branch in another dimension."
>Of course no one understood or cared about your reference.
>They didn't even appreciate that it could double as a horse pun.
>Besides the bugs hurriedly drinking their coffee, everyone was sitting in awkward silence.
>You sigh as you swirl the little remainder of your cup around.
>Celestia magically sets her cup down and turns to you.
>Her posture is always so formal.
>"I couldn't help but notice neither you nor your group of changelings left Equestria as you had originally planned."
>You put your cup down as well and look across the table at them.
"We had to change our plans a few times. First cuz you made sure he would still be here today."
>"It was actually my intention to get them to leave quicker. I see it had the opposite effect."
>You tilt your head at her.
"Turns out Kalakcha couldn't bring himself to abandon me."
>He looks down into his cup.
>"That's... Right."
>Celestia nods her approval.
>"Interesting."
"And second because apparently they didn't just come here to sight-see."
>The nearest changeling leans over to his commander.
>"Sir, should we be discussing-"
>"It's fine."
>Kalakcha looks up at Celestia.
>"My lieutenant went rogue and it is my primary mission to discover why and bring him back to my hive."
 
>As Kalakcha exlains the deal with his lieutenant to Celestia, you point across the table at the changeling nearest to his commander.
"I think I'll call you Mr. Sir."
>Kalakcha rolls his eyes as he continues.
>The changeling you are pointing at glances around before focusing on you.
>"You will, you what?"
"You haven't said a single sentence since I met you that didn't begin with sir, plus references are fun for me."
>He begins looking himself over.
"So your name is Mr. Sir from now on."
>"That does not sound like a real rank."
>His confusion makes you grin.
>You take another sip of coffee and point at the next changeling, continuing around the table.
"I dunno, Blindside?"
>He looks at his fellow swarm mates who are just as confused as he is.
>Kalakcha continues ignoring you to the best of his abilities.
>"For what purpose does this title serve?"
>You lean back a bit and scratch your chin.
"You're the one that hit me from behind, right?"
>The changeling next to him raises his hoof.
>"That, er, uh-"
"Anon."
>"Anon. That was me."
>You shrug.
"Close enough, and you'll be Abraham."
>Mr. Sir looks over his swarm before glaring at you.
>"What is the meaning of this? You have no authority to give us new titles."
"They're names. They're each your names forever and ever until you die or I lose track of who is who... Or get bored."
 
>Celestia interrupts Kalakcha to turn and speak to you.
>"You're not very creative when it comes to names, Anon. Do they not have their own names?"
>You set down your empty cup.
"Why don't you ask Kalakcha about how that works? Besides, you don't have any room to judge. Literally everything in Equestria is a horse pun."
>She closes her eyes and smiles.
>"Fair point."
>Kalakcha sighs and turns to his group.
>"As you know, ponies feel more comfortable referring to each other with informal titles, and apparently will grant such a title to anyone who does not have one."
>None of them seem too pleased.
>Mr. Sir is the first to speak up once again.
>"Sir, it's one thing to refer to us as our disguise's title when necessary, but to refer to us by anything other than our earned title on a personal level just feels... It's disrespectful, as well as demeaning."
>Kalkcha gives them all a stern look.
>"You will allow yourself to be referred to in whichever way your host deems fit. This mission has become something much larger than our swarm and their concerns. The outcome of upcoming events could very well have a great impact on our entire hive. Do I make myself clear?"
>He trails off under his breath.
>"Even if the names are foolish."
>They all nod in understanding.
>"Sir."
>Blindside coughs after the ordeal is settled.
>"I, kinda like, my, name..."
>Mr. Sir groans.
>Abraham looks up at you and attempts to break some of the tension.
>"This drink is most enjoyable."
"Want some more? I was about to get some myself."
>"I think I've had enough..."
>Blindside speaks up.
>"I'll have more."
>Kalakcha finishes explaining the situation to Celestia as you fill the cups.
>Gonna need all the energy you can get today.
>You're sure of it.
 
>It takes some time, but together your odd party comes up with a plan to find this missing lieutenant.
>Everyone agrees that he is most likely still hiding among the nobles.
>As Celestia mentioned before, bugs can be extremely efficient when fully prepared for a mission.
>Unlike the improvised disguises and stories from the rest of this group, he had been studying his targets for quite a while.
>He has melded in flawlessly.
>The only clue your group has is his targets.
>He should be a pony that has some variety of tie to them.
>It could be a noble pony that has known one of them for a long time, or it could be a random worker at a storehouse they own.
>Whichever area he decided would give him the most access to what he wanted.
>Therein lies the problem your party had to overcome.
>You had to find him quietly.
>Sunbutt can't host some random party; that would seem odd.
>Your group can't just wander around together feeling up random ponies.
>They can't even stick together since you escorting four ponies around would surely tip him off.
>Sunbutt has assured you that she is the only one who knows Kalakcha is the injured guard, so at least you still have the edge.
>As far as the lieutenant should know, his commander is safely in the custody of the princess.
>The plan you finally all decided might work involves sending one bug into each area.
>You're supposed to keep your distance and help only if there is a need.
>Despite your improv skills falling short of fooling Sunbutt, she's sure you can handle a handful of regular ponies.
>If anyone asks, you'll come up with your own reasons for being wherever you happen to go.
>However, the bugs will be assigned positions by Celestia herself.
>She knows which ponies best provide access to each position, as well as the unspoken purpose that she will be able to keep tabs on each of them.
>When asked how she would provide the disguises and openings, she said to leave it to her.
>Each bug would have his chance.
 
>So here you were, eating breakfast at some terrible high-class outdoor resteraunt where you swear to God everything is soaked in perfume.
>Even the food.
>You take a deep drink of your lemon water.
>Especially the food.
>You watch out of the corner of your eye as a unwitting pony gets asked by royal guards for his expertise on a specific problem.
>In this case, emergency royal chariot repair.
>This particular pony apparently runs maintenance on many machines in Canterlot, or at least what passes as a machine in their world.
>They walk slowly past a small alley where a pair of eyes watch from the darkness.
>You note the subtle flash of green followed by a familiar pony emerging a short while afterwords.
>He walks onto the street with all the confidence one would expect from an ordinary citizen.
>You finish off your lemon water by swishing it around in your mouth for a bit.
>Sunbutt was insightful enough to give them at least a few quirks and personality traits of each target.
>Enough that they should pass as them for a while.
>Well, this part went off without a hitch.
>You pay for your "meal" and nonchalantly stroll away towards whatever might strike your fancy.
>In this case you end up browsing some expensive sculptures.
>They were all overpriced rocks to you, but for reasons unknown they were suddenly so fascinating that you just had to pull one of the artists away from the manager to ask him how he does it.
>He was more than happy to explain the difficulties of working with certain rocks, the sharp eye needed to craft every subtle detail that makes the whole, and the lack of appreciation for good artisans these days.
>Eventually you find yourself at the edge of the lot.
>The underappreciated artist is too busy describing the inspiration for a nearby piece to notice the very brief flash of green that came from nearby.
>It was nothing, anyway.
 
>After hearing his plight, you assure him that at least you can appreciate what he does and that nothing would make you happier than to treat him to a full day relaxing at the local spa.
>He's, of course, too humble to accept such an expensive gift, but reluctantly does so after you insist.
>You nod at him as he practically floats out of the rock lot towards a free day of full service paid for by yours truly, and by extension, by Sunbutt.
>You thrust your hands into your pockets as you wander off once more.
>According to Kalakcha, the particular supplies they were sent to track were somewhat exotic in nature.
>To be more specific, they were a certain mineral that are common to his old home land.
>In fact, it's the only place he knows of that one can obtain it, and somehow shipments of it have found their way into Canterlot and into quite a few expensive items.
>It would seem some rogue changeling has been making a bit of bits on the side without the hive knowing.
>You chuckle slightly at the prospect of it all.
>Some changeling went rogue, and then the changeling who was sent to find out who it was also went rogue.
>Maybe you can talk Kalakcha into going rogue to complete the chain for kicks.
>This mission could become legend among the changeling hive.
>The mission that can never be completed because every changeling that sets out to solve it ends up becoming part of the mystery.
>You glance around at a few trade wagons as they roll past you.
>If only things could be so fun.
>You note that none of these wagons seem to carry anything exotic.
>Most of them are full of fruits and flowers from various nearby areas.
>A few others carry closed crates with papers plastered to the sides labeled as common goods.
>A small handful are covered wagons that you know you can't stop to check, but at least they seem honest enough.
>Nothing strikes you as odd.
 
>You weren't really necessary for this part, but you thought you'd look around anyway to see what could be seen.
>Unfortunately it wasn't a whole lot.
>You watch "the artist" from before shaking the hooves of a few random nobles and fellow artists as they sit down to discuss whatever.
>Nothing happens.
>Your swarm had originally raised concerns with being touched by ponies, but you assured them that everyone believes what they can see over all else.
>Usually.
>You sigh.
>Would have been nice to end it so early in the day, but of course that couldn't happen.
>You wonder who the lucky one will be that gets to capture this enigma as you stroll away.
>If there's any justice in the universe, it will be Kalakcha himself.
>"The mechanic" has spent most of the day going from factory to factory, checking up on machinery and having idle conversations with acquaintances.
>He has no luck, but at least he also has no problems.
>"The collector" is currently meeting with some clients about acquiring some new center pieces for his gallery.
>Only the most exotic pieces will do.
>You sit on a nearby bench and watch in boredom.
>He's supposed to be some master infiltrator and spy.
>If he's worth a shit, he ditched this place as soon as he turned Kalakcha over.
>He had to have known they wouldn't just let that slide.
>It's been a long and frustratingly uneventful day.
>A few of the changelings had some close calls with some double takes upon contact, but luckily what you said held true.
>Seeing is believing.
>"The worker" has spent all day doing manual labor at the train depot, loading and unloading.
>You made sure Mr. Sir was the lucky one who got that assignment.
>Dude needs to lighten up.
>You whistle to yourself as your attention finds its way back to the collector.
>As his hooves clasp the hooves of one of the fellow aristocrats peddling wares, something odd seems to happen.
>They each exchange brief knowing glances at each other.
"Found you."
 
>You mutter under your breath as you stand up and walk around a corner before leaning back against the wall, waiting patiently.
>Even if they both know, it's still in both of their best interests not to draw attention to themselves.
>And so the ruse continues.
>You can't let him leave your sight or else he could simply change and disappear again.
>Mystery bug nods as he dismisses himself and cleverly lets slip the collector's keen interest in one of the other client's wares.
>He's gonna be stuck talking as his target walks away.
>Walks away towards the quieter part of town.
>Walks right in your direction.
>Walks right past you as you step out and easily catch him in just a couple of your relatively massive steps.
>You reach your hand down to touch his mane.
>Instead, you're met with the familiar feel of a bug fin.
>He looks to the side and then up at you.
"We need to talk."
>You say without looking down at him.
>As you both round a corner, he suddenly breaks into a sprint.
>He doesn't get far before you're both enveloped by a golden light and that sickening feeling of being turned inside out overtakes you.
>In a flash, you're both back in your own house.
>He slides to a stop and looks back at you.
>You shrug at him before clutching your gut and walking towards your couch to have a nice sit.
>Sunbutt was already waiting there as well, wearing that familiar expressionless face.
>As you collapse into the sitting position, he turns to sprint away once more only to be teleported back to the center of your room again.
>He stops running and grunts in frustration.
>After a few moments, his head falls in defeat and he turns to you both.
>"So I escaped from one just to fall prey to another."
>You take a deep breath and slowly exhale.
"Alright, so the first question wi-"
>"I won't be talking to either of you."
>He spits the words at you, and you simply nod in response.
 
"Anyway, first question will be who are you?"
>He doesn't respond.
>He simply sits down and stares straight forward.
>You look over at Sunbutt.
>She returns your look, but says nothing.
>True to her original plan, she wants you to be the one who handles this situation.
>You look back over at the fake pony in your living room.
"You could at least take off that disguise."
>He sighs, and a moment later the disguise flashes away, leaving behind an ordinary changeling.
>Why do they all have to look so identical?
"That feels better, right?"
>He resumes staring forward.
>You stand up and scratch your neck.
"Since you won't say who you are, could you at least tell me why you're here? Well, not 'here,' but in Canterlot?"
>Nothing.
>You watch him for a bit.
>He's like a statue.
>You frown at him.
"Gonna do this the hard way, hm? Some kind of tough guy?"
>Unfazed.
>You walk over to him and crouch down far enough that your eyes can meet.
"I've dealt with tough guys before. I'm sure a lot of them were tougher than you."
>His eyes finally move and meet yours, glaring harshly.
>You lean in slightly and stare back.
>A moment later, your index finger is pressing into his nose.
"Boop."
>He blinks in confusion as you grin at him.
>You hear a mild chuckle come from behind you.
>As you stand back up and turn around, you begin speaking once more.
"We know you're not working with your hive. We just want to know why."
>His head tilts slightly as he watches you walk a short distance before looking back at him.
>"You're very strange."
>His gaze turns to Celestia.
>"You successfully captured the changeling I informed you about. Did you not get everything you needed from him?"
>Celestia answers him.
>"He was not very forthcoming, even when harshly pressed."
>She looks off to the side and the changeling nods.
>"I see."
"We might just have to wait for a bit. I don't think he's gonna say anything until they get back."
 
>He scoffs in response.
>"Bringing your torturers here, then? They'll do you no good."
>You shrug.
"Something like that."
>His eyes close.
>"I've been prepared for this day for quite a while now. This is the price I must pay, and I accept it."
>Jesus guy.
"Calm down ya dramatic faggot. No one even knows what's gonna happen yet. Do I really strike you as the violent type?"
>He shakes his head.
>"No, you strike me as the unpredictable type, which is far more unsettling."
"You say unsettling, I say fun."
>He opens his eyes and looks up at you.
>"If you think conflict is a game, you're far more disturbing than I had originally thought."
>You cross your arms and take a seat once more.
"Let's just wait, okay?"
>"What could you possibly be waiting for that you believe will change the situation?"
>You really wanted Kalakcha to dramatically walk through the front door and say "me," but you knew he was still at least twenty minutes out.
>Missed opportunity.
>Mystery bug spends the majority of his time sitting still with his eyes closed.
>Likely preparing himself mentally for torture or whatever.
>Celestia hasn't said much of anything or moved really.
>She's extremely patient, but you would expect as much from a seemingly immortal being.
>You've been spending your time studying this guy.
>Despite carefully examining him, you couldn't spot any noticeable differences between him and Kalakcha.
>What if they end up in a scuffle and you don't know who to help?
>That could be annoying.
>You briefly imagine them standing side by side on a rainy rooftop with you pointing a gun at them.
>"You'll have to shoot us both just to be sure."
>One of them would step forward and say.
>The other would then retort.
>"Fuck that, remember the time I saw your junk in the bathtub? Cap this bitch."
>And then you'd shoot that other guy.
>You grin to yourself like a moron as the front door finally opens and a handful of unrelated ponies invite themselves in.
 
"Finally."
>Apparently they had ditched their high-class disguises for more common ones somewhere along the way.
>Guess Celestia taught them something after all.
>One of them briskly trots directly up to the mystery bug and without hesitation brings one of his forehooves back across his face.
>"You deserve a far more severe punishment, but this will suffice for now. My own desires need to be set aside."
>Mystery bug rubs his face for a moment and grins before shaking his head.
>"The thought that you might be working with them had crossed my mind, but only briefly. They must be truly desperate. How long did it take you to break and sell me out?"
>Instantly Kalakcha is on top of him, pressing his shoulders into the ground as his disguise flashes away.
>"Sell 'you' out? Was it not you who got me captured? Got me tortured?"
>"That does not give you free reign to destroy other hive members. You should have left me alone."
>He retorts.
>Kalakcha leans closer.
>"The Queen allows us to deal with insubordination in any way we see fit within our own swarm, 'swarm eleven lieutenant.'"
>As they glare at each other, you decide to butt in.
"So why did you do it?"
>Neither of them look up at you, but mystery bug replies.
>"Why would I tell you? Why would I tell anyone? My life is now forfeit."
>The rest of his swarm is patiently sitting on the sidelines.
>You're sure he told them not to get involved.
>On the other hand, technically they're both higher rank than them, so maybe they can't?
>Meh, doesn't matter.
"Like I said, nothing has been decided yet."
 
>Kalakcha shakes his head.
>"No, he's right about that. He will be severely punished for betraying a commanding officer, and I will be punished as well for acquiring the aid of an enemy to handle a private conflict."
>He looks back at you.
>"Technically speaking."
>You nod.
"Right."
>"It was for a girl."
>Everyone had all but forgotten Celestia was still there, and her voice rattled them all.
>"Correct? It was you who helped her."
>Everyone gives her an odd look, though mystery bug seems more surprised.
>Kalakcha speaks up.
>"What did he do?"
>She looks up as she thinks.
>"Some time ago, a strange new mineral had begun finding its way into Canterlot goods. As dark and hard as obsidian, without the shine. Most strange. I managed to trace its supply to a young lady who claimed they were gifts. It made her quite wealthy."
>She looks back down at him.
>"That was you. Then you say you were supposed to look into this matter, as this mysterious benefactor could affect your entire hive, but it was you, and you couldn't let her get caught."
>You prop up an eyebrow.
"He betrayed his hive for a chick? Isn't that like, super cliche?"
>"It's sweet, in a way."
>Mystery bug allows his head to lay back as he loses focus and stares at nothing in particular.
 
>Kalakcha looks back down at him.
>"Is this true?"
>He takes a deep breath and sighs before focusing back on his commander.
>"Have you ever had love freely given to you? Not stolen, no tricks, given without sleight or secrets. She knows exactly what I am."
>He leans closer and squints a bit.
>"She knows exactly what we did. Why would she help me? Why does she care? I didn't understand."
>His head falls back again.
>"After our attack, I was blasted through some trees and severely injured. I could hardly move on my own, let alone sustain a disguise, and she found me there. I thought that this must surely be the end for me, but when my gaze met hers, she held no hatred for me in her eyes. They were full of concern."
>He chuckles slightly.
>"Heh, concern for an enemy's well being. It was absurd. But, she took me to her little cottage and helped me heal, and every day I had to look into those caring eyes. She should be full of malice, I thought, but she wasn't. It was almost torture in itself. I hated her. I hated everything about her."
>His eyes close.
>"Eventually, I could only hate myself. I don't deserve this. What am I to her? Just a monster. I'm no fool, I know what I am, but she loved me anyway. She kept telling me I could be better, that the kindest ponies are always those who have known suffering, and now I could be better. That 'I' could be better."
>His eyes open and he glares up at Kalakcha.
>"So I became better."
 
>A few moments pass in silence before he finishes.
>"Over time, we grew to love each other. Most don't even know changelings are capable of returning love, only consuming it. When it's stolen, it can't be returned. When it's given... Eventually I got the idea to help her in some way, and that's when this all started. I helped her. It will never be as much as she helped me, but it's all I could do. I knew there would be consequences, but I will gladly suffer them."
>Kalakcha shakes his head.
>"Why didn't you just tell me?"
>He looks up at him and frowns.
>"Would you even understand? How could you understand?"
>Kalakcha turns back and looks at you.
>Celestia follows his gaze and props up an eyebrow at you.
>You look at them both in confusion.
"What?"
 
>With a sigh, Kalakcha turns back to his old lieutenant.
>"I'll admit, I would have behaved exactly as you expected."
>He lowers his head.
>"I'm... not sure what to do anymore."
>The lieutenant lowers his head as Kalakcha continues.
>"I must complete my missions, which are not only passed down directly from The Queen, but a promise to this human that I would personally make sure we all left together when you were found."
>He nods in response.
>"I understand, sir. It can't be helped."
>Kalakcha backs up a little.
>"For what it's worth, I'm sorry it has to be this way."
>He turns to look at you.
>"When you are ready, we can fulfill our bargain."
>Celestia turns to you.
>"What exactly was this bargain?"
>You stand up and scratch your neck.
"I'm supposed to escort them all out of Equestria, to wherever their hive is. I'm not sure where it is. I just kind of assumed."
>"It is indeed outside the borders of Equestria."
>Kalakcha responds as he signals his swarm to get ready to depart.
"Is, uh, that guy gonna try to fight, or run or something?"
>Lieutenant shakes his head.
>"There would be no reason. Even if I escaped, it would just bring more of the hive down upon the one I care about."
>Celestia gives you a concerned look.
>"I'm not sure it is wise for you to do this. While some changelings may be an agreeable sort, the hive follows its queen, and she will- may not be as understanding."
>While the changelings talk among themselves, she pulls you close and whispers.
>"To be frank, she's evil. Pure evil."
>You gently push her away from you a bit and talk normally.
"C'mon, you guys said the same thing about that Discord guy and he's pretty fun to hang out with."
>She frowns in frustration.
>"Hm, Anon, this isn't the same thing."
 
>You shrug.
"Look, I'm supposed to find a way to broker some sort of peace agreement, right? I'm the, uh, that one guy-"
>"Diplomat."
>You nod towards Kalakcha.
"Thanks. I'm one of the diplomats which means this is kinda my job, on top of all those other reasons I'm going. You said it yourself, if there's any chance, we have to try."
>She looks to the side.
>"I did say that, but I do not think you fully grasp what you're volunteering for by going about it in such a straightforward manner."
"I can handle it. Maybe she'll even like me?"
>Kalakcha brushes past your leg.
>"She won't."
>You frown.
"Not helping."
>"Was I supposed to lie? Since your princess mentioned it, I must say I agree with her."
>Celestia looks embarrassed as he continues.
>"Our Queen will not tolerate your presence. It is likely she will drain you and discard you without you ever having a chance to say anything. I understand what you wish to accomplish, but I don't want you to go in with false expectations. I respect you too much to allow that."
>You cross your arms as they begin walking towards your door.
"Respect? I thought we were friends by now."
>The lieutenant scoffs at your remark.
>"Respect from a commander is almost kinship. You're practically an honorary member of the swarm."
>You prop up an eyebrow.
"Oh, neat."
>"Our Queen will still kill you despite this."
>He finishes.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
 
>An hour of walking later, your little group of ordinary ponies find themselves at the edge of the border of Canterlot.
>This is the furthest you've ever been.
>After some more convincing, Celestia finally agreed to let you do this yourself and quickly teleported herself away.
>Knowing her, she's going to spy on you in some way.
>Nothing you can do about it; she's at least as stubborn as you, and a lot more clever.
>Living more than a handful of centuries will give you that edge.
>As you look around, you figure you're far enough away from civilization to talk more openly now.
"What do you guys suppose she's gonna want for peace?"
>Kalakcha replies.
>"What do you mean?"
"You know, what are her terms? Her, uh, demands, or whatever."
>"The submission and obedience of all her subjects, which would extend to allies as well."
>You curl your lip.
"Is that all? No wonder you guys don't have any allies."
>"Those who do not agree to the terms are removed."
>You rub your chin thoughtfully for a moment.
"Why would any of you follow a ruler like that?"
>The lieutenant looks down as Kalakcha responds once more.
>"It's not a disagreeable way to live. In return for unshakable loyalty, she makes sure we are always provided for. Is it too much to ask that your subjects trust and obey your commands as ruler?"
"What if you don't want to?"
>He thinks a moment on this, but the lieutenant speaks up first.
>"Then you don't, and you face the consequences of your actions."
>He looks over at his commander.
>"Or you do, and are rewarded."
 
>You shake your head.
"Seems like it'd be a lot easier to live with a ruler who-"
>This time, Kalakcha cuts you off.
>"Please, do not speak ill of my queen. I understand how you and your princess feel relative to how she rules compared to The Queen. However, you know very little about her, or our past. She has sacrificed more than she asks of us to keep everyone safe and alive."
>You reflect on this in silence for a moment.
>While it's true she may have done some shit to earn their respect in the past, there's no excuse for treating your followers like tools.
"I didn't mean for it to sound like I was insulting her or something. It's possible to talk about shit in a purely theoretical sense, you know."
>Kalakcha doesn't turn to look at you as everyone continues walking, though you note a tinge of annoyance in his voice.
>"We both know there is nothing theoretical about this conversation. For one who does not even show respect to his princess, I do not expect you to understand."
>You prop up an eyebrow.
"Whoa dude, back up a sec. I might not go through all the stupid secret handshakes and other shit, but when did I ever say I don't respect Sunbutt?"
>This time he turns to look at you.
>"That, you just did so again. That's just one example, and there are many more. Don't forget our lunch with those royal guards as well. Not even they respect your leaders-"
"No, wait."
>"And the attitude of subjects towards their leaders-"
"Hey."
>"Is a reflection of that leader's abilities to-"
"Alright, fucking stop."
>You stop walking and grab him by his shoulder so he stops as well.
>His expression hardly changes.
 
"You were just on about how I don't get it. Well, guess what? You don't get it, either. She's the leader, but she's not just our leader. She's my friend. Friends fuck with each other for fun because that's what friends do. It has nothing to do with respect or her abilities. As for the guards, they were talking about nobles that whole time, which as far as I'm concerned just means they're rich, and being rich doesn't automatically grant you respect. You gotta earn that shit, no matter who or what you are."
>You cross your arms.
"All it sounds like to me is your queen doesn't think of anyone as her friend. You're just a bunch of pawns."
>His swarm looks shocked and exchange nervous glances.
>Even the lieutenant seems a bit disturbed.
>Kalakcha's eyes narrow on you.
>"You would do well to stop insulting my Queen, human."
>You roll your eyes.
"Or what? You gonna kick my ass? I already beat three of your guys, I think I can handle two more little bugs."
>For what feels like forever, you both merely stare each other down.
>You're the first to break the silence.
"If you're not gonna fucking do anything, then at least keep walking. We're wasting time."
>You hold up a hand palm up in front of you.
>His hooves dig into the ground, but ultimately he turns from you and continues walking.
>The rest of the swarm are on his heels.
>They say nothing and try their best to keep a neutral expression.
>You shove your hands into your pockets and wait for them to gain a little distance before you continue.
>This peace is off to a fantastic start.
 
>What you would guess is about two hours pass is complete silence, save for the gentle thumping of hooves and feet on the hard soil.
>Your eyes haven't left Kalakcha since your argument.
>You're not sure you could catch them if they bolted from this distance back, but at this point that would suit you just fine.
>You wouldn't even try to catch them again.
>The lieutenant slows down a bit and allows himself to fall away from his group.
>You chuckle.
>Maybe he's gonna be the one who bolts.
>A few moments later, he's fallen far enough behind to be walking side by side with you.
>You don't acknowledge him, nor does he acknowledge you.
>He simply slips in and you walk side by side in silence for a few minutes.
>Eventually, he turns and looks up at you, studying your face.
>You do your best to continue ignoring him, but his staring begins to bother you.
>When you can't take anymore, you look down at him and give him a sarcastic smile.
"Can I help you with something?"
>No sooner do you finish speaking does he start.
>"He cares very deeply about the hive and thinks of our Queen as the embodiment of it. When you insult her, you're insulting everything he cares for."
>You look back up at Kalakcha walking in the distance, still using that regular pony disguise.
"Whatever."
>"I wanted you to understand-"
>You don't even look down at him as you speak once more.
"Or maybe you're trying to distract me so your buddies up there can set up some kind of ambush cuz you can't take me in a direct battle, hm?"
 
>He tilts his head slightly.
>"What?"
>You sigh and look down at him.
"I've had a lot of time to think back here."
>He nods and continues.
>"I wanted you to understand because I can tell he cares about you very deeply as well. I can't imagine how you managed to form such a connection in such a short period of time, but it's there."
>You prop up and eyebrow.
"Are you bullshitting me right now? How would you know that? You haven't even seen us do anything together except argue a while ago."
>He grins a bit and looks forward.
>"I don't need to. I've known the commander longer than anyone. It was no accident we were paired together in the same swarm, and while we don't normally use the term for ourselves, you could probably describe us as close friends."
>You can't help but blurt out a laugh.
"Ya, friends. Is that why you turned him over to some guards to go get tortured? I hope me and you aren't friends."
>His smile fades as he stops walking and looks at the ground.
>Your grin fades as well as you notice and turn back to look at him.
>"Have you ever loved anyone, Anon?"
>Hm.
>Not really.
>You've had a few crushes, but nothing serious.
>You shrug at him.
"Eh."
>"If you were forced to choose between your friends and the one you love, who do you think you would choose?"
>He doesn't wait for you to answer as he continues walking.
>You stand there as he passes by you.
>"It is a choice I hope you never have to make, because it is a choice that destroys you."
 
>You feel like shit as you quicken your pace and approach the lieutenant.
"Sorry man, I just wasn't thinking when I said that."
>He nods in response, and you continue walking side by side in silence once more.
>The rest of the swarm is still all together and keeping the same pace as ever.
>Kalakcha hasn't even turned to look back at you this whole time even though the others steal glances now and then.
>Whatever.
"So, tell me about this girl of yours."
>He doesn't hesitate to respond.
>"I will not. Celestia may know who she is, but that's where the list ends."
>You look away.
"Jesus dude, it's not like I'm gonna go hunt her down, and you can talk about her without mentioning her name."
>He doesn't say anything else for a while.
>"I noticed you couldn't help but give everyone their own name."
"Hm?"
>"She insisted I have one, too."
>You grin.
"Oh good, so you already have a name I can call you."
>He looks away.
>"It was a concept I didn't like when she told me everyone needed their own name. I already had a respected title; Swarm Lieutenant Eleven."
"Did you tell her that?"
>You speak sarcastically, but you don't think he got it.
>"No. That information should never be revealed to anyone outside of the hive, and since I couldn't tell her my title, she insisted on giving me my own personal name. After she used it for so long, I began to understand the significance of having a unique identity."
"You mean other than because it's practical?"
>He turns back to look at you.
>"Anyone can hold the title Swarm Lieutenant Eleven, but I will always be me, and therein is the significance of a name. It acknowledges my existence, not my profession."
>You look down at him.
"So what's your name?"
>He looks forward once more and practically glows with pride.
>"Bright Eyes."
 
>You grin at the silly name, but you can't help but feel happy for him when you see how proud he is to have it.
>At least she's more creative than you.
>References are the bottom of the barrel, and you scrape there quite often.
"That's a pretty cool name, Bright Eyes."
>His eyes close as he looks up slightly and takes a deep breath.
>"It feels great to hear my name."
>You never thought you'd hear someone say that who wasn't a narcissist or attention whore.
"If I keep saying it over and over, would it get awkward?"
>He seems to remember where he is as his eyes shoot open and his expression returns to neutral gear.
"Feel free to call the other swarm members by the names I gave them. It still bothers them, which is fun."
>He actually laughs a bit at what you said.
>"I'm sure my underlings will never like those names, but I have a feeling my commander will grow attached to his."
>You shrug.
"Part of that care thing your spider sense picked up? I'd say we're friends, but I'm beginning to doubt that will count for much once we get there."
>He frowns.
>"You are right. I failed to choose my hive over myself."
>He looks you in the eyes.
>They're full of sorrow.
>"He will not."
>You scratch your neck.
"How can you be so sure, though? He's a bit different now."
>He looks forward at his commander as he speaks.
>"I've known him nearly my entire life, and in all of that time... He never has."
>You look forward as well.
>"Why do you think I was made his lieutenant and he the commander?"
 
>The thought never really crossed your mind.
>You assumed he was just the better leader.
>That got you wondering, though.
>In a society where the matriarch demands complete control, who would she entrust with other leadership positions?
>A shiver crawls up your spine.
>Maybe you don't know him as well as you think you do.
>Do you?
>You have your doubts that it was all an act the entire time.
"I'm not sure what to think, but I don't think he's going to sell me out or anything. Guess I'll have to see."
>"And you will see."
>He looks back over at you and offers a weak grin.
>"You seem like a decent creature. I'll do what I can to help you, though I fear it will be very little."
>You mock him a bit.
"D'aww, that's sweet. Aren't you already going to be whipped for helping someone else, though? You should pace yourself Jesus."
>"Then we will suffer a bit together, won't we?"
>You give him a couple friendly slaps on the back and nod.
>You're currently feuding with your hubby, but at least you made a new bug friend in the meantime.
>This peace is back on track, kinda.
"How much further is this damn place? The sun's setting soon."
>He looks at the sky before looking at the surroundings.
>"It's usually a quarter-day's flight. This pace is extremely slow compared to that. We will have to stop for the night and continue in the morning. As for distance, I can only tell you when we've reached the halfway point."
"We're not even fucking halfway there?"
>You press your hands into your face and groan.
>Bright gives you an odd look.
>"It is outside of Equestria. How far did you expect that to be?"
 
>You let your arms flop to your sides.
"I don't fucking know. Ponies are small. I thought their land would be small, too."
>Now that you think about it some more, that's really stupid reasoning.
>"That is a very strange reason to make that assumption."
>Ya, fine.
>Of course, it is still relatively small if you guys can make it to a border from the center in only a couple days of walking.
>That's not even the size of one of your old states.
>"A species size does not determine their territory. Their strength does."
"That's not what I meant, but it doesn't matter. It was a stupid assumption."