>Day 110 in Deadquestria
>You wake up, just like normal
>Luna is sleeping in your bed, just like normal
>You get up, just like normal
>A deviant thought crosses your mind, just like normal
>You slap the still-sleeping Luna's ass, just like normal
>She chucks another one of your multitude of ugly vases at you, just like normal
>However, unlike normal, this time you're a bit slow to duck
>The vase impacts your head
"Fuck!"
>You start bleeding from a deep gash on your head
>Luna, who is now fully awake, is flipping out
>"Oh no! Nononono, Anon! No!"
>The last thing you see before blacking out is her horn glowing
 
>You wake up some time later
>You're in Ponyville hospital
>Luna is holding your hand in her forehooves
>It looks like she's saying something, but you can't seem to hear it
>You try to focus harder on hearing what she's saying
>"This is all our fault, Anon... why didn't we just throw out all those vases in the first place..."
>You try to speak, but nothing comes out
>Nurse Redheart comes into the room and says that visiting hours are over
>Luna shoots her a glare
>Redheart stammers and says something along the lines of "visiting hours don't apply to royalty, of course"
>She turns and trots out of the room without saying anything to you
>...That's weird, why wouldn't she be asking how you're doing?
>Then you notice that you're not in the bed
>Well, not entirely in the bed
>Your body sure is!
>You're a ghost
 
ONE MASSIVE FREAK-OUT LATER
>Okay, you can deal with this
>They're still treating your body like it's alive
>So there's gotta be a way to fix this
>Right?
>Yeah, you just gotta talk to Celestia, she probably knows how to fix this
>Or maybe Twi-
>Memories surface of the last time you let Twilight cast a spell on you
>NOT TWILIGHT
>NEVER AGAIN
>NOPE
>You shudder involuntarily
>Actually, now that you think about it, you're not sure you can talk
>You focus on speaking
"Luna! I'm right here! LUNA! What the fuck is going on, here? Why am I a ghost?"
>You can't seem to get her attention, this shit isn't working!
>Look like you can't communicate like this
>...Or can you?
>You focus with all of your might
>You can feel your energy collecting in the palm of your hand
>With a grin plastered on your spectral face, you send Luna a message the only way you know how
 
>Luna leaps up with a yelp, blush on her cheeks
>She looks all around the room, trying to discern the origin of the unique sensation she felt on her flank
>Her eyes rest on your body, laying on the hospital bed
>"Anon, was that you?"
>You gladly give her a response that only deepens the red on her face
>"You truly are a pervert at heart, even when in a coma, Anonymous."
>A coma?
>Well shit
>At least you aren't completely dead
>You focus again and try drawing a question mark on Luna's flank
>She seems to feel it - you're getting better at this shit, even if it's really tiring you out
>She breathes in, sharply
>"Oh, do you have to do that so close to- um, I mean... nevermind."
>You start to write out "coma?" on her flank
>You manage to get as far as "com" before you can't seem to muster up enough energy to write anymore
>She looks a bit confused, and contemplates for a moment
>"Anon, I'm going to try a perception spell, it might make it easier for us to communicate. Please, don't go anywhere."
>Her horn glows, as do her eyes
>You can feel the magic swirling around the room
>The room is bathed in a white light
>When it fades, everything in the room looks oversaturated with color
"Damn, that shit is bright!"
>Luna jumps a bit, and she turns to face you
>"Anon! We were- I mean- I was- so scared!"
 
"You can hear me? And see me?"
>"Yes. I'm so sorry, Anon!"
"You can apologize later. I'd really like to be put back in my body, now."
>"Anonymous, I... don't know... how to do that."
"Well, there's got to be some way! Can't you think of anyth-"
>That's when you noticed that you and Luna weren't alone in the room
>If you had blood to drain from your face, it would've gone pale
>Standing across from the two of you, near your body, is that smug fucking asshole
>"Anonymous?"
>You point
>Luna turns to look at the same spot you're pointing at
>"What is it? I- I don't see anything..."
"You fucking prick! Get the fuck away from me!"
>"What? What is it? Who?"
>Before you stands a man, wrapped in a black cloak
>His... hands, if you can really call them that, grip a large scythe
>He also happens to be a fucking skeleton
>You stare at the grisly smile on his face
>Seems he really didn't take too kindly to you profiting off him earlier this week
"It's Death, Luna."
 
>"D-Death? Here?"
>Her eyes go wide
>"No! You can't have him, he's mine!"
>You break your stare with Death to raise an eyebrow at Luna
>She looks at you
>"Don't give me that look."
>You slowly lower your eyebrow and return to your staring match with Death
>Wait a minute this fucker doesn't even have eyes
>You feel like an idiot
>Death chuckles
>God damn that is a creepy fucking noise!
{We meet at last, Anonymous. I thought you'd be... smarter.}
>Chills run up your spi- you don't have a spine right now
>Okay chills would be running up your spine, if you had one
>Your body shivers
"What?"
>Death doesn't look too happy
{Tsk, tsk, tsk... we can't have that. I'm going to have to finish the job.}
"Like hell you're 'finishing the job', you little shit!"
{Now, now, Anonymous, watch your language.}
"Suck my dick, asshole."
{Now, how exactly do you presume I do that?}
>You can't think of a witty comeback for that one
 
>"Anonymous, stop trying to piss off Death! This isn't a game!"
>Huh
>Maybe you can't think of any good comebacks...
>But you can think of something else
"Actually, Luna, that's exactly what this is. You owe me a gamble, Death. I win, and you have to give me back my life."
{And if I win, you forfeit any afterlife you would have been given, and I get to personally torment your soul for eternity.}
"Afraid you'll lose?"
>Death lets out a wheezing, raspy laugh
>Your body shivers again
{You think you can best me? I would certainly like to see you try! What would you like me to beat you at, before I take your soul?}
>You smile
"Rock, Paper, Scissors. Best three out of five."
>Luna facehoofs
>"You can't be serious."
"I'm always serious. Let's do this."
>Death sets down his scythe, and brings one skeletal fist up
>You do the same
"You shouldn't take me for GRANITE, Death."
>You both shoot
>He chose scissors, you chose rock
>He groans as a spectral flame appears over your head
"I'm a CUT above the rest!"
>You chose scissors, he chose paper
>He grunts in annoyance as a second flame flares into existence over your head
 
"You should just FOLD while you have the chance!"
>He straightens up, apparently having caught something
>You throw down paper as he throws down scissors
>A flame appears over his head, now
>He laughs, your body shivering again
"Don't you get fucking SNIPPY with me!"
>You throw out scissors, he threw out rock
>A second flame appears over his head
{You fool! NOBODY beats me.}
"Shut up and finish. My freedom is just a STONE's throw away!"
>You both throw down at the same time
>Death starts laughing up a storm
{Your soul is mine, mortal!}
"Hey, jackass, why don't you fucking pay attention?"
{What?}
>He looks down
>He threw out paper
>You threw down with some scissors
"Who's smart now, jackass? You're the one who took the bait."
{WHAT?! FOR THE LOVE OF! DAMN IT!}
>Death angrily grabs his scythe
"I won. Now put me back in my body."
>Death growls at you
{...Very well. I will get you eventually, Anonymous.}
>Death impales you on his scythe and throws you into your body
>Your eyes shoot open and you gasp a deep lungful of air
 
>Luna throws her forelimbs around you in a hug as you shoot upright in bed
>"Anonymous! You... you won?"
"Of course I won."
>She's crying
>"Please... don't go again."
"I'll try not to, but it would probably help if you didn't chuck things at me in the morning anymore."
>She sniffles
>"...Okay."
"Hey, Luna?"
>You run a hand through her mane
>"Yes?"
"I want to thank you for the idea you gave me."
>She pulls back from you
>"What do you mean?"
"You gave me the idea to gamble for my soul."
>"That was a reckless thing to do, Anon, and I'm sorry I gave you the idea."
"On the contrary, Luna, it was brilliant..."
>She gives you a confused look
"In fact, I intend to pay you for your idea... in RAPE DOLLARS!"
>She gasps
>"No, Anon! N-"
>"Oh- oh! Oh, yes!"
Nobody in the hospital slept that night.