>You be Anon, innaquestria
>You've been living in the town called Ponyville for about two years now.
>Most of your time was spent sleeping and trying desperately to do an art.
>There were no computers, TVs, or even internet here
>Which means that you couldn't spend your time shitposting on the internet.
>You kinda missed it.
>Especially since it meant jerking off to actual porn.
>Here, you had to take pictures with an old ass camera and try to jack off to that.
>Keyword being "Try."
>The ponies here in town didn't bother you too much
>Besides the purple one with wings and a horn.
>She would come and gripe every other day about how you, "needed to be more sociable."
>One of these days, you would greet her at the door with a butcher knife.
>If you had a butcher knife.
>Since you were an alien monkey thing, the ponies decided not to trust you with anything sharp.
>That damned purple pony probably told them about how you hurled numerous insults and curses every time she knocked at your door.
>And how you made sure that she knew that flipping someone off was a disrespectful thing in your culture.
>None of the other ponies bothered you, though.
>In fact, some were even helpful.
>Some of the citizens of this town pitched in, against purplecunt's will, to help build you a house.
>You still live in it today, of course.
>It was a nice-sized villa out on the edge of the town.
>You could still walk to the town square within ten minutes, but you were far enough away from town that you weren't bothered.
>You just wished that the purple one's tree castle wasn't right next door.
>There was also a white pony who would deliver some groceries every week.
>She never spoke, and she always had somewhat loud dubstep on in her headphones.
>But she always delivered about $100 dollars worth of food, every week.
>Without fail.
>You always made sure to say thank you and give her a warm smile before she left.
>You didn't ask her to do this
>But she did it anyways.
 
>You check your calendar
>It is Wednesday, my dudes.
>White Pone delivers groceries today.
>Thank god, because all you have left are two rotten tomatoes.
>There's also that watermelon that you jizzed in, but you're not gonna eat that.
>As you think about how hungry you are, you decide to take out your 53rd drawpad this week.
"What to draw..."
>You decide to draw a steak.
>This turns out to be a bad idea, as your stomach lets out a loud roar.
>You missed Steak.
>You missed Red Meat.
>Hell, you even miss Fish and Fried Chicken.
>Not eating meat for two years really makes a man depressed sometimes.
>You shudder and try not to think about how you'll never eat meat as long as you're here.
>What to draw...
>A Watermelon.
>No, a cherry.
>A cherry...
>grinch grin.gif
>You wonder why you didn't think of this before...
>Draw your own pone pr0nz!
"Anon, You're A FUCKING GENIUS!"
>Two minutes later...
"Wow this is fucking shit I can't even draw my own porn what the fuck am I going to do?"
>The drawing looked like a poorly drawn chimpanzee attached via an umbilical cord to some blob with headphones, glasses, and a horn.
>Sometimes your drawings were so bad that you wanted to fucking kill yourself.
>Oh well.
>After laying down on your couch for a while, you think about what you're doing with your free time.
>You've been grappling with the idea of writing instead of trying to draw.
>You then tell yourself what you usually do at the thought of exchanging drawing and writing.
>Your stories would probably be just as bad as your "art."
>Good god you needed something to do.
>You were starting to sound like some emo high schooler.
>And you weren't even talking.
>Regaining your wits, you walk to the courtyard.
>The fact that you have a goddamned courtyard baffles you sometimes.
>Sitting down in the lone lawn chair, you check the time.
>But I just sat down.gif
>White pone was supposed to get here pretty soon.
>You go stand at the door and wait for your groceries to get there.
>All the while thinking about Earth.
>Your life back home.
>You kinda miss it.
>But at the same time, fuck that place.
>Yes, there were some good times that you'll never get to have in Equestria.
>But at the same time, the city you lived in was teeming with people with sticks up their asses.
>Best to forget about them.
>The door rings, and you open it to find your groceries.
>She's walking away, so you make sure to holler out a thank you.
>As usual, she nods and turns the corner to head into town.
>God, you're lonely.
>You stoop down to collect your food for the week, when you spot something at the bottom of the pile of stuff.
>It's a ticket to something.
>Examining it closer, you find that it's for a special orchestra group performance.
>You didn't know that they had orchestra here...
>You should go to more events sometime.
>Further examining the ticket, you find that the performance is tomorrow.
>How perfectly convenient.
>You put the ticket aside and sort through your groceries.
>Amongst them, you find a tuxedo.
"Wait, what the hell?"
>You sure didn't expect this to happen.
"How the hell did she manage to find a tuxedo that would fit me?"
>Seeing as this could be somewhat useful, you try it on.
wait for it...
>It fits to perfection.
"How? How?!?!?! HOW!??!?!?!?!??!??!?!??!?!?"
>Deciding not to question it for now, you get to the rest of the items that the helpful mare brought you that week.