>Wake up >You slept on the roof of Sweet Apple Acres, because you're convinced you are a bird STFU logic you belong in the derpy stories You exclaim, audibly, to your imaginary 4th-wall-joke logic, with no one around >Wait, what's that coming up to the door >It's one of those little mutant horses you love so much >"Tra la la la la! Gee, I wonder what Goatse's up to!" >It's Pipsqueak, that mutant horse you rejected last installment >You briefly consider tossing him away like before, but you remember you found yourself regretting that move last time >The fucking mutant starts ringing the fucking doorbell >the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE >You roll off of the roof, in an attempt to break Pip's neck in a similar fashion to Mr. Cake >You thud to the ground > >Huh? >No satisfying crunch? >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o19CaOSuD8   >You look up from your fetal-landing >The fucker is looking down on you >"Oh, hi Mr. Goatse! I just came back to ask you why you threw me into that tree back there that one time." "NEENER" >You get up >Horse is gonna die >You're not even gonna be creative about this shit >You morph your left arm into a sword like the terminator in Terminator 2 and shove it right into that little fucker's eye >Stab the fuck outta that nigga's brain >hellyeahmotherfucker.jpg > > >"Mr. Goatse, why is your hand all silvery?" >thefucknigga.mp3 >You retract from his eye and kneel down to inspect the cunt >His eye is totally fine "WHAT IS YOUR SORCERY, MOTHERFUCKER?" >"I just wanna be friends with you, mr. goatse!" >whatthefuckman   >Fuck a munkels unkey if there's ever been a creature you couldn't brutally murder before >You sweep around him, open the door, and let him into your home >"Wow Mr., this is a real nice house! 'Course it used to be the Apples', but you killed Applejack, and kicked her family out!" >You respond by smacking him across the face like the little cock-whore he is >The fucker doesn't even feel it >"Did you know the Apples are homeless now? No pony will take them in... too much of a burden." >Again, you smack him; this time on his cute little flank >Fucking nothing man "WHY ARE YOU NOT DYING." >"Because, Mr. Goatse! I'm invincible now!   >Invincible >What the fuck >Nothing has ever happened like this >You close the front door behind you >Clearly this being has a lot to teach you >You fall to your stomach in front of your new master, doing a spread eagle, bowing "..........TEACH ME." >"Look up, Mr. Goatse!" >You look up >Holy >Fucking >Shit >This mutant baby horse has such a huge throbbing penis that it is absolutely unfathomable >Seriously. It's like that giant eel thing in that one game >It's so big compared to you that it makes you feel like that baby in that one picture where the guy is fucking the newborn baby >And >It's >AWWWW-RIIIGHT   >You look up further >Your master looks down upon you >His face is the face of Goatse now >"Suck it you whore"   * * *   >For the last year, you and Pip have lived in Sweet Apple Acres >You have been surviving on stale bread, rotten apple cores, and each other's semen >On-and-off-again lovers, he manages to fuck you in your loose, gaping asshole every night >It feels so good when he comes inside of you >With every orgasm you take in, you feel a little bit closer to immortality >Tonight is different >In the morning, you bring him his taco just like he asked >It is made of human meat from your inner thigh, and the shell is a piece of your scalp that you cut off >You kneel as he takes a bite, gingerly >Chew >Chew >"It is satisfactory." "Nigger," you say, solemnly   >Your master looks at you with tears in his eyes >You turn around and dry them with your rectum >"Goatse, my son, it is time for me to go." >You begin to cry, but stop; you've known for a whole that this day was near >You grab a hit of LSD out of your anus and take it >"Today you shall experience your final lesson." >In response, you make a noise that;s kinda like a sad Wookie >Pip removes himself from his chair >He walks outside , off towards the town >You follow him, like the disciples followed jesus to the cross >Except for that one who betrayed him, who was a cunt   * * *   >You reach the town; it's the first time you've shown your face in ages >Mutant horses who see you remember the tales and run >No mutant horses try to save Pip from you; they assume him already dead >Pip walks in front of you when you reach Sugarcube Corner   "What is this?" >The small foal only spreads his plot in your face >You attribute this vision to the LSD kicking in >Surely this can't be real! >But your suspicions are proved to be accurate >"Goatse, I love you. I want your peeny in my beany." >Tears are legit coming down your face, fool >Your penis is, needless to say, erect beyond erect >You inch closer to his anus >Your voice momentarily changes to the exact pitch and tone of Hogarth Hughes from the Iron Giant "I... I love you..." >"I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU NIGGA," he says lovingly >You will intertwine as one >You begin to fuck him like he's a got-damn fleshlight >The wisdom fills you entirely >All is at peace >You gain the heat of a thousand suns >This is super sayan >What the fuck >What the fuck >What the fuck >Orgasm   * * *   >Everything is frozen >Not a single limb, not even your peeny, is movable >You and your master are frozen together in time >Ponies still haven't come out of their homes >With your newfound endless knowledge, you can predict that you will be frozen for the next thousand micro-millennia >FUN FACT: ten-thousand micro-millennia amounts to about a week >Now we play the waiting game > > > >Wait >Who's that mutant horse > >It's red >It's Big Macintosh > >He see you >Not moving >He trots gingerly over to you, rage i his eyes >He raises a hind hoof in anger >"This is fer' mah' sister, Goatse." >That motherfucker is taking a horse piss on you > > > >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6q-6RroaJA   -END?-