Wrote this for a 'random pairing' thread.
 
>Be Celestia
>Be in another boring goddamned meeting you're only half listening to
>Be smiling and looking like you're listening intently anyway
>Literally the groundskeeper of a fort on the edge of town asking what color flowers he should plant in one corner of the grounds
>Just keep making 'hm' noises and nodding
>How did this guy even get on your schedule?
>It's like he's in a contest to see who can waste your time with the most inconsequential bullshit
>Mother of You, he's going on about blooming cycles
>Stop nodding, and put on a 'deep in thought' face
>And pick a color at random
>Well, maybe not 'random' random
"Big Bush-"
>-you fucking love saying this dude's name
"-do we have any brown flowers?"
>"Er- brown flowers, your majesty?"
"I think a flower the color of soil would be a wonderful visual reminder of the importance of one's heritage and where we all come from."
>You just pulled that explanation out of *your* 'brown flower'
"And I believe the parade for the Family Fest at the end of the month passes by that particular corner."
>You fuckin' got him now
>Pffft-brown flowers
>Don't laugh too hard though
>Gotta keep that pokerface going
>Not that that's hard
>You've had literal millenia to practice acting like you give a shit at meetings like this
>That's why you're Princess Number One
>Big Bush smiles wide.
>"Why Princess, that's brilliant! I-I don't know of any brown flowers myself, but I'll get in touch with some botanists and see what we can do!"
>holy shit what a sucker oh my you
 
>...
>But you are glad you made one of your subjects happy
>Even if it was by feeding him bullshit
>This is also why you're Princess Number One
"Even if you can't find that color, I'm sure you'll make it look wonderful, Big Bush."
>Outta the park with that one
>And hopefully outta your throne room too
>You've got a date to get to
>A guard escorts him out without you saying anything.
>Dude wordlessly recognizes when you're done dealing with somebody
>Oughta give him a raise
>Maybe tell Luna to give his dreams a visit next time she's in-season
>Heheh
>This little conference was the last thing you officially had planned for today
>Now there's a nice big hole in your schedule
>A hole you intend to fill with a hole
>When's that bitch gettin' here?
>That message you sent was pretty clear
>You asked her to visit your court to offer her input on the Family Fest
>You gave a specific time and date, and you KNOW she's all about being punctual
>The Fest really has nothing to do with it though
>It's just an excuse to get her in your vicinity
>It's much easier to seduce somebody when you're in the room with them after all
>Ahh~ You hear the distinct clip-clop of hooves on their way to your throne room
>Is it---?
>A blonde pony with a brown-orange coat wearing a purple suit walks into your throne room.
>Yesss, it is
>Just on time, and just as fine-lookin' as you remember
>Mm-mm-mm
>Harshwhinny bows her head, and the front half of her body, to the floor.
>"I am honored to have been called here by you, Your Highness"
>You're just thinkin' about how good that bow probably looks from behind
"Rise, Ms. Harshwhinny, and relax. There's no need to be quite so stiff."
>You only prefer your stallions stiff
>Heheh
>"As you wish, Princess."
>Oh yeah, real relaxed
>"Shall we get right to the point then? I imagine you've got other appointments to keep."
"Actually, I cleared my schedule for this."
>She's taken aback by that.
>Good
>Keep 'em guessin'
 
>"For ME, Princess?! Why that's...I don't even-"
>She straightens right back up.
>"I apologize for that, Princess. Clearly you cleared your schedule because the Family Fest you called me here to discuss is what is important. Not me."
"Oh *laugh* You really need to relax. Stress is unhealthy."
"Of course the fest is important, but the truth is, I gave this discussion of ours some extra time so we could have some fun together."
>"I...'Fun', Princess?"
"I know you're always so busy with Equestria Games business and all other sorts of things, so I decided to give you a night on Canterlot. We'll see the sights, eat somewhere nice, all on me, of course."
>Bitches love it when you pay
>"Well, I...suppose I could stand to loosen up somewhat. It *has* been a while."
>Damn right this bitch need to loosen up
>And you'll help with that
>In fact, you're pretty fuckin' good at helpin' with that
>This is the third reason you are Princess Number One
"I'm sure we'll both have loosened up plenty by the time our night is through."