You are Anonymous, and you are rather enjoying your first ever "Pinkie Party." The music reminded you of an eclectic mixture of blue grass and concert violin, the ponies seemed to be warming up to your presence already, and the food- oh, lords of magic the food! You hadn't realized how long it had been since you'd last eaten, but even if you weren't starving you'd still find the stuff delicious. All sorts of fresh fruits and vegetables, plus pastries that would put the finest French bakeries to shame. Oh, and there was booze too! Several fruit wines, plus a keg of dark, malty beer. None of the hard stuff, but then maybe Equestria hadn't worked out distillation yet. A real shame, you think... Bright Ones know, you could use a stiff drink after your second ride in that hells-damned flying chariot.
 
Sure, the trip back to Ponyville had passed uneventful enough. Twilight took the opportunity to fill you in on a few more details of Equestrian life, while you'd clung to the side of the carriage and tried desperately not to vomit. Would it have killed them to rig up a stepping circle? Then again, maybe the ponies didn't know about teleportation either... and you certainly weren't about to attempt a spell so complex, not after what had happened with all your previous spells. Top of the to-do list: figure out how to adjust your magic to account for the differences between Equestria and the more familiar parts of the Nevernever.
 
But that could wait. You had food to eat, booze to drink, and talking pastel ponies to chat up. With a cheerful nod to the barman...err, barpony? you scoop up your newly filled mug and dump a pile of canapes onto a plate. It occurs to you that most humans might find such an occasion to be awfully strange, but this was hardly your first soiree in the Nevernever. You'd waltzed with angels, whirled with dryands, cavorted with wild sprites under the light of a double moon!
 
Okay, so maaaaybe the cider is catching up to you a little faster than you're ready to admit. Better find a seat and... you scan around the room. It's quite easy to pick out Twilight, Applejack, and the timid one, what was her name...? Buttershy...? sitting around a table off against one wall. It certainly didn't help that you stood head-and-shoulders-and-then-some above most of the ponies.
 
Ducking and weaving, you make your way across the dancefloor. Where the residents of Ponyville had seemed frightened of you this morning, now they hardly paid you any mind as you bumped and shimmied through the crowd. Must be a trusting lot, these ponies... or else they couldn't hold their drink! You collapse into a chair across from Twilight. It's too small, just like all the pony furniture you'd encountered, but you'll make do.
 
The purple unicorns nods at you. "H-hey, great party, h-huh?" she stammers, barely audible over the music. Definitely not the social type, this one. Though she'd been friendly enough towards you... maybe it was just crowds. You'd known more than a few ladies like that in your day.
 
Now Applejack, on the other hand... she drains her mug in record time, slamming it down with the enthusiasm of a practiced drinker. "Wheeee doggey! That's some buckin' fine cider!" she exclaims, Stetson just a tilt out of place. "So Mister Anonymous," she looks you over with emerald eyes, "-just how're you likin' Ponyville so far?"
 
You raise your own glass in a salute before kicking the sweet -but surprisingly strong- beverage back in one go. You weren't about to get shown up by some cartoon horseys, now. "My friends call just call me Anon, MISS Applejack-" you wink at... Yellowshy, was it? "-and I'll have you know, it's been a thrice-damned long time since I've ever landed anywhere so pleasant," now you turn back to Twilight, "through magical mishap or otherwise."
 
"Well buckin' said," Applejack exclaims, clapping you roughly on the back with a hoof. She's close enough that you can smell the cider on her breath and the faint scent of hay. It's an earthy scent, with an honest simplicity about it. A few loose strands from her blonde mane tickle your face...
 
But you've got more immediate concerns, as Twilight fidgets across the table. "About that, Anonymo- I mean, Anon..." she titters nervously. "Do you really think that we can figure out how to send you home?" The sincerity in her voice is so sweet.
 
You smile at the purple unicorn in what you hope is an air of confident reassurance. "I'm sure of it." You look into the bottom of your mug. "Besides, I've been around the block quite a few times, and you'd better believe that in almost a hundred years-" you gesture around dramatically "-I've seen a lot worse than this." You chuckle, mostly to yourself, not even registering the ponies' wide eyes upon you until a few moments had passed.
 
"D-did you say 'a HUNDRED', Anon?" Twilight begins.
 
Now it's your turn to look confused. "Well, I mean, I guess I'm pretty young so far as wizards go, but-" you begin gesticulating with your empty mug "-I'll have you know that I trained under one of the great old masters!" And now you were getting belligerent. "Sure, those old farts on the Council like to judge, but I've been around the Nevernever before, I know the score! And another thing-"
 
It suddenly occurs to you that you're ranting like an idiot. That wasn't condescension you'd heard in Twilight's voice, it was CONFUSION. "Ehh... that is... uhh..." you scratch at the back of your head, the ponies still staring. "You... ahemm-" remember Anon, you're an ambassador here "-you must think I'm pretty young."
 
Twilight is still standing stock-still. Applejack is nervously pawing at the stool in front of her, having risen to her hind feet. It's the incredibly soft voice of the yellow pegasus that breaks the awkward silence. "So your species usually lives for several centuries?" There wasn't any of the fearfulness you'd heard from her before, just genuine, confident curiosity.
 
You shake your head, then cock it to one side. "Well, not exactly." You look directly at...Fluttershy! That was her name! "Normally, humans like me, we don't live more than seventy or eighty winters." You hope that using the older terminology will help frame your words properly. "But for practitioners- that is, for people who can use magic-" Fluttershy's deep beryl eyes show nothing of her usual timidity "-well, we tend to live a great deal longer. Hundreds of winters." Unconsciously, you run your fingers through your hair again. "It's not like that here?"
 
Twilight speaks up, having finally found her voice again. "That's... umm... very interesting, Anon. But here in Equestria, not many creatures live so long. Just dragons-" was that a hint of sadness in her voice? "-and of course the Princesses, who have lived since time began..."
 
Twlight's melancholy tone is cut off by the sudden sensation of a yellow-pink pegasus attaching herself to your chest. "Awwww," she coos, in a tone that made you feel like you needed a dentist, stat! "He's just a baaaaaaabyyyyyy!" Oh lords, how is she pinching your cheeks with her hooves? She doesn't even HAVE fingers!
 
"Get off get off get off GET OFF!" You finally manage to pry the fawning pony from your face. She stares up at you from your lap, obviously feigning heartbreak. Well you'll have none of it. "I'll have you know," you start, staring down Twilight across the table, "that MY SPECIES matures around age fifteen!" Well, maybe more like twenty, or twenty five, at least for boys, but damned if you were going to mention that now. "I, and other magic users, just happen to enjoy a long and fulfilling ADULTHOOD!" You hope the glare down at Fluttershy drives your point home.
 
Before you can find out, a prismatic blur crashes into your shoulder. (Good thing you've learned enough not to try to throw up a shield right now!) "Yeah yeah, save all the boring anthroponology talk," says the cyan mare hovering over your table. "Some of us care about more IMPORTANT things-" her eyes narrow mischievously "-like just how well an ALIEN can dance!"
 
Oh she did not! Oh it was on!
 
So maybe you weren't the best dancer in the Seelie Courts... but you could certainly still show a bunch of backwards faerie-ponies at thing or two about moves! As you whirl around and around with Rainbow Dash, tapping your feet in rhythm with the strange string harmonies, you try to recall the dances you'd learned that summer on the Great Centaur Hunt. Of course, they'd had four legs to your two, but you like to think that you'd held your own... and are certainly doing so now, anyway. Dash is cheering madly as the two of you draw tight spirals across the floor, her feet/hooves never even touching the ground. In that moment, her rainbow mane and bottomless vigor recall the golden-clad Mistress of the Hunt...
 
When Rainbow tips you off to Rarity, you remember to bow low and long before clasping her silky hoof. Unsurprisingly, the violet-maned unicorn is an exceptional dancer, her every step suffused with a refined grace. You can only hope that she is as charmed with you as you are with her... the flutter in her lovely blue eyes seems to suggest as much, anyway. Maybe it's the wine talking (most certainly, it must be!) but you have a hard time recalling such a delightful dance partner this side of the Summer Court. As stately as a dryad princess, she seems...
 
And then, drawing you from reverie, sparkling Rarity passes your hands off into Pinkie Pie's hooves. Oh boy, you have no idea what to expect with the bubblegum mare. That is, until the audible sound of a record scratch comes from SOMEWHERE (you hadn't even seen a vinyl in Ponyville yet!) and then the very LIVE band starts playing a pony approximation of classic swing.
 
They HAD to be pulling this from your memory somehow; it was just too big of a coincidence. And yet, none of your mental wards had been triggered, none of your charms were burning white hot. If Celestia, their princess, their goddess, had set off your enchantments... it just can't be! But then there's that familiar jazz rhythm, and half of the band ponies have produced brass instruments out of nowhere. The mind, it boggles!
 
But why think when you can have fun? Throwing cautious thoughts to the wind, you start to jump, jive, and wail with Pinkie. You don't know how the party pony keeps up with your moves, nor do you question how she performs all those flips and slides on four little hooves. To tell it true, you'd seen much stranger in the Nevernever, and so long as this strangeness was such a blast, why not roll with it? And you'd pledge to a hellion if it wasn't fun! She was so energetic, so carefree... like a certain pixie duchess you'd met once before...
 
Finally, the band ends the set on a boisterous flare before settling back to catch their collective breaths. That was good, since there were a few things that needed discussing with one Twilight Sparkle, the Element of...Magic? was it? Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie is literally dragging you across the dancefloor. "Ohwow MisterNonny yoursucha fundancer," she spouts breathlessly, "you'vegotta tellmeallabout whereyoulearnedto dancelikethat andthen telltheotherstoo!" It's awfully hard to parse Pinkie's words, but her enthusiasm is downright infectious.
 
You slide into an empty chair -still too small- across from Twilight Sparkle. Patiently, you decide to let her begin. "A-anon-ny-mous," she starts, sounding nervous despite your best efforts. Lords below, what would it take for her to relax a bit? "I think we ought to talk about your plans for tomorrow." Right, all business.
 
"Well, Miss Twilight," you stress the formality, hearing Applejack and Pinkie stifle snickers behind you. "I was hoping that tomorrow we could get started on figuring just where in the Nine Hells I am." Though the ponies don't know the significance behind the swear, they seem to grasp its severity, growing somber. "That is to say-" you find yourself stammering "-I don't mean any disrespect. But it's throwing me off, not knowing where I am in relation to... well... to everything."
 
Twilight seems much more confident now. "Right, so you need help figuring out where you are according to your... Astral Map?" You nod, figuring the terminology close enough to your own. "Okay!" The lilac pony has apparently gathered all her bravado. "Tomorrow, we'll go through EVERY tome in Equestria-" you can swear you hear the other ponies moan under their breaths "-and figure out just where Anonymous is from!" Twilight had even reared up on her haunches, flailing her front hooves about in a celebratory manner.
 
You almost choke up a bit. She was just so damn excited to be helping you, a complete stranger, in the best way she knew how. That kind of honesty was rare enough in the Nevernever, not to mention the mortal realms... "But... umm... Anonymous..." you recall that Twilight Sparkle is still talking to you, staring across the very short table with an apprehensive expression. "What will you do tonight?"
 
"Well hells," you begin, suddenly conscious of the fact that damned near every pony in Sugarcube Corner is looking at you and Twilight. Involuntarily, your hand reaches to scratch your neck. "I mean, I was just going to ask Miss Darlin' Applejack here-" you switch into that Carolina drawl you'd tried to leave behind so long ago "-iffin' maybe Ah could spend jus' one more night in her oh-so-charmin' barn?" You toss your head and blink twice, trying to approximate Rarity's dramatic demeanor.
 
Judging by the peals of laughter that ring out from the pony crowd, your humor had struck home. Applejack tries to maintain a serious facade, but even she can't hold back a few hearty chuckles. You wipe an errant tear from your eye. It really HAD been awhile since you'd laughed this hard.
 
"No, but seriously," you say, winking to Pinkie before addressing the crowd of ponies-at-large. Now was right for a bit of grand diplomacy. "I've traveled a long ways from home. And for a long time, too." Wasn't that the truth... bouncing from city to city, council to conclave had been your life up to now. Up to Justin, and Aria, and the rest.
 
You swallow that bitter pill. "But out of every place I've been..." That's it, Anon, reel them in. (But was it just a story, really?) Had to be the cider talking. "I can honestly say that Equestria -no, that Ponyville- has been the most-" Go ahead, hook-line-and-sinker! (But was it just bait?) "-the most welcoming of them all!" The ponies around you cheer, and you can't help but want to cheer -just a little- along with them.