>You're seated in your secure home while reading a magazine.
>Safe from the shenanigans of those damn technicolor ponies.
>That is, until a certain pink pony pops out your shirt.
>"Nonny!"
>Letting out a manly yell, you fling your magazine across the room.
>Its trajectory sends it careening into your favorite flower pot, knocking it to the floor with a crash.
>...
>Yanking the pony by her mane, you drop her before you.
"Dammit Pinkie, are you trying to give me a heart attack? Again?!"
>Ignoring your fragile health, the pink sperg just bounces in your lap.
>"I've just heard some really really good news, but it's suppose to be a surprise for Twilight and I can't tell anypony because Rarity said anypony who ruins a surprise for somepony else will have to live with the guilt forever, but it's driving me nuts so-!"
"Get to the point, Pinkspastic."
>She smooches her face into yours and exclaims with utter excitement.
>"You're not a pony!"
"You've done it again, Detective Pie."
>Unconcerned with your biting wit, she continues to poke you in your chest.
>"And you're not going to talk to Twilight for awhile, right?"
>You shudder at the thought.
"If there's a God."
>Pinkie scans your living room before leaning toward, her whisper gradually becoming louder and louder.
>"Shining Armor...and Princess Cadence...are having...A BABY!!!" She squeals loudly, hooves outstretched as confetti inexplicably explodes from her.
>Pinkie slumps forward in your lap, panting from exertion.
>"Oh, I've been dying to let it out all day! I thought I was gonna explode!"
>She giggles before looking back at you.
>Her smile quickly disappears when she sees your face.
>"Nonny?"
>Roughly, you grab and bring her inches from your face.
"Do you know what this means Pinkie?!"
>"Uh...foal shower?"
"No..."
>You let her go and stand to your feet, sending her flailing to the floor.
"It means..."
>You clench your hands into fists, shaking with the effort.
"It means...!"
>You dramatically raise your fists to the sky.
"IT MEANS...!"
[spoiler]>'Hi Anon, this is some bomb-ass tea!'[/spoiler]
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"